


Stories from Aenamo; The Origin of Nite

by Wimlo



Category: Original Work
Genre: Abusive Parents, Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Magic, Basically it's hard to tag, Bisexuality, Consensual Underage Sex, Erotica, Falling In Love, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Magic used for sexual purposes, Omnisexuality, Polyamory, Sorcerer, Straight sex in flashbacks, Suggestions be welcome, Troll - Freeform, some BDSM themes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:20:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 26
Words: 298,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24294985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wimlo/pseuds/Wimlo
Summary: Seymore has been working at the Greenlight castle for years, hiding from his past with his lonesome thoughts. That's about to change, when the young Master of the castle finds a sudden interest in the troll servant.
Relationships: Seymore x Nite
Comments: 23
Kudos: 20





	1. 1) Nite

**Author's Note:**

> While age of consent and age gaps are explained through the story, the younger character in the story is still 15, and while that is legal in Denmark, I'm aware that's not the case everywhere else.
> 
> 10/sep./2020  
> Chapters are updated, format is (hopefully) now readable. It's embarrassing that it took me 10 chapters to realize how awful the format was, I'm sorry.  
> If you can point out any spelling mistakes/grammar errors/etc. it is highly welcomed!  
> I post thrice a month, 1., 11., & 21., or as close to as possible. I'll update the 'chapter of ?' counter when I finish making the final chapter (I'm still about 10 chapters ahead from what's being posted)
> 
> 11/jan./2021  
> Slowly beginning yet another re-read of the story, updating the chapters along the way. Updates will happen as frequently as before, we're almost there! Thank you for all support and interest in my small, niche world!

He stretched his long, sore body, before he realized he wasn’t alone. At this point, he should be used to not waking up alone from time to time, but Seymore could never really figure out if it was all a dream, or if it _really_ happened. But as soon as he woke up, he would hear the familiar sound of the young man’s snoring by his side, making it all too clear that it was, indeed, not a dream.

Maybe it wouldn’t have confused him as much, if it wasn’t for the fact that his young Master would rarely mention it during the day. As Seymore did his chores, cleaning and cooking, he would cross paths with the sorcerer every now and again, but he would never insinuate what had happened during the night.

Although Seymore had been aware for a while that his memories of the pale, naked skin of the young man couldn’t possibly be _all_ in his imagination, it still baffled and surprised him every time he awoke with the short human by his side. He would never stay long, afraid what he would do or say if the young man woke up and Seymore was still there, even if it was his own bed.

In some ways, he was afraid that he would wake up, and realize what Seymore was; a troll. An old, ugly, worn-out troll, deformed and broken, in body and soul. When he was younger, before he ever arrived at the Greenlight castle, he might have thought of himself otherwise. That he wasn’t _too_ ugly, and that his abnormalities didn’t bother him _too_ much. But now, compared with the human by his side, so young and curious and skilled, with powers far beyond his years, he couldn’t help but to feel misplaced in this scenario.

His Master wasn’t actually beautiful, by any means. Seymore knew that, even if he didn’t have that much experience with humans. In the West, there wasn’t many humans, and even if he had lived around the Center Isles as a young man, he hadn’t been involved with many humans back then, either. He _had_ seen some humans at the Center Isles, and was very well aware what features was well-desired, but the sorcerer didn’t have them.

The young man’s mother, on the other hand, did. She was tall, slender and held herself gracefully. Her features were cut, and her hair was long, black and silky smooth. Always well dressed, always with an authority in her steps.

But her son didn’t look like her. He was short, a little too thin, and had shaved his head a long time ago when his fragile, black hair wouldn’t grow at the pace he wanted. His nose was too big for his face, his teeth were crooked, one of them even missing a shard, and his eyes was so deep-set that it made him looked tired all the time.

Despite all that, Seymore couldn’t help but to feel grateful when the human would touch him, in a way so gentle and soft, the troll would have never guessed he was capable off. When the pale, slender fingers stroked him, curling around him tightly, he didn’t really pay attention to his crooked teeth or how bony his body looked. It was _selfish_ , Seymore knew that, but he was but a lonely troll, he told himself, and if it amused the sorcerer to experiment with him, who would he be, to ever deny his tiny Master that?

He stretched his limbs again, before he stood up from the mattress. Seymore’s room was anything but comfortable, but as time had passed, he had grown used to it. His bed was made of a mattress on the floor, a blanket and a pile of his old uniforms, he used as a pillow. He could probably have asked for a pillow, but he had never dared to. Beside his mattress was a small chair with a candelabra on it. The candle had burned out before they went to bed. He had to change the candle later, he reminded himself.

Once, he had lived in another part of the castle. In the main part of the castle where rooms for the maids and servants, a living space only for them. The rooms weren’t big, and they were much smaller than this room, although this wasn’t spacious either. He could fit his mattress in his old room, but not much else. In this room, he also had room for a shelf, which held his sparse belongings; a couple of books and his spare clothes.

His biggest hurdle with the room was that it was barely tall enough for him to stand upright in. Although he was short by troll standards, he was still well over 6 feet tall, closer to 6,5 feet, and the room wasn’t much taller than that. It was a basement chamber, probably used for food storage at some point, but now it housed him; the only servant left on the Greenlight castle.

He silently climbed the stairs, leaving his warm room and the snoring, young man in his bed, before he went through with his chores. He had a couple of hours before the young man would wake up, plenty of time to clean the castle, alone, with his own thoughts, rethinking everything that had been going on up until this point.

Why would he, a troll servant, think it was wise to sleep with his young Master while the Madam of the castle was away? While it hadn’t exactly been _his_ idea, he couldn’t deny that he was to blame.

The past months had gone by so fast that he could hardly remember when he had first looked at the human and _wanted_ to touch him. He couldn’t recall he had ever wanted that, before the young man had begged, no, _demanded_ that the troll touched him. He shouldn’t have wanted it, but suddenly his weird, eccentric, young Master had him on his knees, submissively obeying his every order, and familiar feelings, he had tried to hide away for decades almost, had crept back into his soul.

He sat down in the small kitchen, remembering the faithful day, when the Madam had left the castle for her latest trip. As he waited for the kettle to boil, he closed his eyes. He could still feel how sore his hand had been that day; he had burned himself earlier. And he could still remember the smell of ink on paper, as he had read the letter in his hands…

… ,,Seymore, did you hear me?’’ The troll was startled for a moment as he looked up at his Madam, her gaze stern, but concerned. He hadn’t even heard her coming. For how long had she tried to get a hold of him? ,,What is with you? Silly troll,’’ she scolded playfully.

,,I’m sorry, Ma’am! I was… lost in thoughts…’’ he said slowly, lowering the papers in his hand. His other hand was red and blistered, and he knew she noticed. He also knew she wouldn’t ask about it.

,,You seem like you could need a vacation,’’ she joked, but her smile soon faded and her eyes almost seemed sad for a moment. ,,But I’m afraid that’s not why I’m here. As you know, I have been traveling a lot more lately?’’ she asked, checking in if he listened to her. He nodded and hid the letter in his back pocket.

His Madam had been traveling a lot when he had firstly arrived at the castle. That was why she had had so many servants and maids, and why the castle had always been spotless and lively, even when his Madam wasn’t there. When her son, the young Master of the castle, had been born, her travels had stopped. As time passed, the maids and servants disappeared one after another, due to the endless crying from the baby, or his numerous tantrums when he got older.

But Seymore stayed. He had nowhere else to go, and he had promised his Madam a long time ago he wouldn’t leave her for as long as she needed him. He took care of the castle to the best of his abilities, but as time passed, the dust and dirt settled around in the less used rooms around the big place.

She never scolded him for that, but she also had her hands full of the baby that seemingly came out of nowhere. Seymore had never seen his Madam take men home, but it was possible she had become pregnant on one of her journeys, he thought. He didn’t know much about humans’ anatomy, but she had looked slender and like her usual self almost up to the date when she gave birth. It had surprised him at first, but as the baby looked completely human, he didn’t question it further. He just guessed that humans didn’t get big, pregnant bellies, or that she herself had made it easier to carry the baby with her magic.

Her son caused a lot of trouble. Mostly for herself, but also her maids, especially. With time, no one was allowed to take care of him, beside herself. The baby’s magic was powerful, even at birth, and things would fly around, crash and burn, wherever he went.

He was just a baby, of course he didn’t mean this to happen. But as time went on, the small child seemed amused by causing havoc around him.

And thus, the maids and servants left the castle, little by little. All but Seymore, who at this point had grown used to the daily mayhem, despite not being able to leave the castle. Where would he go? He couldn’t go home to his village, and no place, that he knew of, would hire a troll. So what, if the nights where disrupted by shouting and crying? Or if he needed to clean and repair more stuff now than ever before? In return, he would have food and a roof over his head, and that was all he wanted.

His Madam had stopped traveling, for a while. He didn’t know what her travels usually had required, but it wasn’t possible with an unruly toddler. As her son grew older, she would take off for a couple of days, maybe a week. He could take care of himself, mostly, and all Seymore did was to provide him his meals every day. Besides that, he didn’t have much contact with the young Master, and rarely saw him, actually.

,,I’m going on another trip, fairly soon. But… it will be a little longer,’’ she continued, as she strolled down the corridors. Seymore picked up his bucket and mop and followed to the best of his abilities.

,,That’s fine, Ma’am. I’ll keep everything in check,’’ he smiled. They walked for a little while, before they reached the corridor that led down to a run-down part of the castle. The part where her son lived.

At some point, after he turned 13, his mother had given him an old section of the castle that no one ever used, anymore. Once, it had held a lot of his Madam’s books, both about magic and her litterateur in general, and many of those books where still present there. It had been possible to both make a tiny kitchen and a bathroom, besides the one who was connected to the bedroom. The young man spent all his time there, alone for the most part, besides the few times he ate dinner with his mother, when she tutored him in magic, or when Seymore saw him when he brought his meals to him.

That had been over 2 years now, soon to be 3. Seymore rarely went into this part of the castle to clean, and only when his Madam tutored her son in her own study chambers would he dare to dust off the hallways.

,,I need another favor to ask you, Seymore,’’ she said, almost with a heavy heart as she looked down the hallway that led to her son’s living space.

,,Anything, Ma’am,’’ he said as he sat down the bucket and mop.

,,… I’ve never asked you to take care of… him,’’ she hesitated, gesturing down the hallway. ,,And he doesn’t need to be taken care of, _like that_ , but I’m afraid I’ve hit a dead end with him. He’ll turn 16 just next year. Then he’s a man, and _could_ leave the castle, if he so desired, but…’’ Seymore’s long, pointy ears flickered as she spoke.

,,Yes he _can_ ,’’ he said, boldly correcting her words. She sighed, but still didn’t look at him.

,,It’s very hard to explain. But no, he _can’t_ ,’’ she said sternly. ,,And he’s very upset about that. I think.’’ Her brows furrowed, and her big, brown eyes had a shed of doubt in them. ,,But I know… that he doesn’t feel _well_ , right now. Not that he’s sick, and I might… I might worry too much, Seymore. But he could use someone to talk to, I’m sure. Someone who isn’t _me_ ,’’ she said.

Seymore looked down the dark hallway, suddenly a little unsure if he could keep his word.

,,If the young Master isn’t feeling well, Ma’am, maybe you could delay your trip?’’ he asked avoidantly.

,,I can’t do that,’’ she said hastily. ,,And that might just be part of the problem.’’ She rubbed her temples with her long fingers, sighing again. ,,I know I ask too much of you. But I don’t know what to do with him. I could have never known… that it would be like this…’’ she began, closing her eyes. Seymore wasn’t even sure she noticed him, anymore. ,,I know my son isn’t exactly _pleasant_ to be around. But you’re the only one I trust with this. I need him to stay at the castle, even when he turns 16.’’

His browbone furrowed. It was mid-August now. When she said, her travel would be soon, he expected her to leave in a couple of days, at most. But she spoke as if she wouldn’t be back before the young man’s birthday, which was the end of January. Not only would this be her longest travel yet, since her son had been born, but if she wasn’t home for his birthday, he understood why the young man would be upset.

He had no desire to learn more about the young Master, but on the other hand, he had never attempted to, anyway. The few times he had handled him as a kid, hadn’t exactly been _pleasant_. He had _scars_ to prove that. But as he grew older, he saw less and less to the young man. Maybe it would be easier to have a conversation with him now?

,,So, in short, you want me to keep the young Master company while you’re away?’’ he asked doubtfully. She nodded slowly and eyed him. ,,I don’t think… I can make him stay, Ma’am… I would simply not be strong enough, if he _really_ wanted to leave…’’ he tried, knowing all too well how powerful the young sorcerer’s magic was.

,,Keep him busy, and he’ll probably forget about leaving,’’ she said. ,,But if it come to that, Seymore… Don’t waste your life or energy… While it _is_ important that he stays, it’s not worth risking your life for. I’ll find him and bring him back, if I need to do so.’’

He was about to ask how she would find him, and why it was _so_ important for the young man to stay at the castle, but he hesitated a second too long, before she continued into the hallway, leading down to her son’s quarters. Seymore frightfully followed his Madam, as she stopped before the basement chamber at the end of the hallway, and the beginning of the young Master’s quarters.

,,It’ll be better if you… move down here, for a while. The room is bigger, and there’s no need for you to stay in the main part of the castle. You’re most important job, will be here,’’ she said.

Looking down into the basement chamber didn’t exactly fill him with joy, but as far as he could tell, the room _was_ a little bigger, although not as neat. He nodded and sighed, as he waited for his Madam to continue.

,,With all due respect,’’ he said, most likely interrupting her thoughts, ,,why is it so utmost important that I guard him? Why _now?_ And why _me?_ Surely, if you can’t handle him, then how in heavens should I? I know your travels are important, Ma’am, but now… really doesn’t seem like good timing…’’ he dared. She was silent for a moment, refusing to look at him.

,,Are you afraid of him, Seymore?’’ she asked bluntly, avoiding all of his questions. He hesitated, before he looked around. The thought of her son suddenly popping up behind him, scared him.

,,No,’’ he said. ,,I’m not afraid of _him_. I’m afraid of _magic_. That’s pretty common amongst trolls,’’ he said dryly. ,,I know… I know what he can do.’’

The few times Seymore had handled the sorcerer as a child hadn’t been pleasant. He was always bruised and burned afterwards, but at some point, the child had had a tantrum so bad, that Seymore still had scars after it. He had no way to protect himself, thus he lost his tusks, with only half of the left one remaining and the other one completely gone. His tusks weren’t as big as normal troll’s were, but Seymore was small in general. Tusks was a symbol of pride and strength, and now the little he had had, were gone.

His whole face was scarred now. The deep, moss green skin was plastered with light scars everywhere; at his mouth, his forehead, on his big, broken nose, and over his left eye, which had been mildly hanging ever since.

But Seymore didn’t fear _him_ , per se. He didn’t have any desire to take another leap of fate, but had the young man been stripped of his magic abilities, then he might not even have thought of it as a problem. On the other hand, the human had never apologized or seemed remorseful in any kind of way, but he was unsure if he even remembered the episode, or if his mother had ever told him.

,,Don’t misunderstand me, Ma’am. As said, you can count on me. I will take care of the castle, and I’ll take care of the young Master, to the best of my abilities…’’ he corrected himself. She nodded approvingly.

,,Thank you.’’ She smiled. He rarely saw her smile, not anymore, at least. ,,You can set up your room now, or when I leave. I’ll be off by tomorrow,’’ she informed him. He had guessed as much.

The faint footsteps behind him alerted him again. He didn’t have to turn around to know that the young man was behind him; it was all painted in his Madam’s big, brown eyes.

,,Good afternoon, my son,’’ she said politely, but he didn’t stop to greet her and just walked past the troll.

,,Mother. Troll,’’ he said, not lifting his gaze from the book he was reading. His mother looked after him.

,,I want you to join me for dinner tonight,’’ she said calmly. He stopped, but didn’t turn around.

,,I don’t think I’m done by then,’’ he said after a short pause. ,,I’m busy. Don’t wait for me.’’ He finally turned around, his big, deep-set eyes wandering from his mother to Seymore. ,,What happened to your hand?’’ he asked with a hint of disgust, as he eyed the troll.

,,I, uh… I burned myself…’’ Seymore said perplexed.

,,That doesn’t sound very smart, now, does it?’’ he said. Seymore smiled apologetic, but didn’t answer.

,,In any case, _dear_ , you _will_ be joining me for dinner. I can wait. It’s my last night on the castle for a while, so I _expect_ you to be there,’’ she said sternly. He slammed the book shut, not breaking their eye contact.

,,Well, what does it matter? It’s not like you’re going to _miss_ me, _dear mother_ ,’’ he sneered. ,, _Fine_ , I’ll join you for dinner, so you can _play pretend_ just another night.’’ He looked back at Seymore again, who suddenly realized that he was staring at the young man. ,,What are _you_ looking at, troll?’’

,,Nothing, sir,’’ he said as he looked down.

,,What are you doing _here_ , anyway?’’ he sneered.

,,Seymore is moving into the basement chamber, in my absence,’’ she said without hesitation. It looked like the young man didn’t _understand_ what she said for a moment, before his face changed back to his harsh grimace.

,, _No_ ,’’ was all he could muster. ,,I want my space for _myself_. I _know_ what you’re trying to do, but I _don’t_ need a babysitter!’’ he said harshly. He walked past the troll again, to the direction he just came from, bumping into Seymore on the way. At first the troll thought it was on purpose, but when the young man looked back at him, almost flustered, he became unsure. He simply walked away, muttering curses underneath his breath.

His Madam sighed, before her tired gaze returned to the troll.

,,As you see, Seymore… this is why _I_ can’t take care of him right now. He doesn’t need _me_ right now… But everyone needs _someone_ ,’’ she said, as to reassure herself. ,,I don’t know what it’s like being a teenage boy… But, you do.’’

,,But I don’t know anything about magic,’’ he quacked. ,,That’s all I’ve ever heard him talk about.’’

,,Then let him teach you, _I don’t know!_ ’’ she sighed. She covered her face in frustration, before she looked back at him, her gaze tired and apologetic. ,,I’m sorry to ask you this…’’

,,Don’t apologize, Ma’am,’’ he tried, as calmly as he could. ,,I’ll… do my best?’’ he suggested.

,,Thank you,’’ she said, suddenly taking his sore hand in hers. ,,You burned yourself?’’ she said, as she without warning started to heal the blistered skin. He nodded and looked away. ,,I can’t believe you dislike magic, to the point that I can barely _heal_ you,’’ she emphasized.

,,Trolls don’t grow up with magic, Ma’am,’’ he said, looking away as if he was a child.

,,You wouldn’t let me heal your face, back then, either,’’ she silently scolded. ,,You must have seen magic in the Center Isles? There’re so many magic creatures there, many different species in general,’’ she conversed.

,,I did…’’ he said, faintly remembering ice blue eyes. ,,But their magic where different.’’

,,Not all magic is the same, that’s true,’’ she nodded as she let go of his hand. ,,But healing magic will not hurt you,’’ she said kindly. He nodded and looked down at his recovered hand, not really taking in her words.

,,Thank you, Ma’am. I will… go gather my stuff, if that’s alright. And then I’ll prepare dinner, for you and the young Master,’’ he said slowly. She bid him farewell and left him, as he still stood in front of the basement.

The young man hadn’t used the room for anything, it seemed. It surprised him a bit at first, but he guessed the sorcerer spend most of his time in his study chamber, reading and practicing for himself. He guessed he would find out soon enough, if they were _actually_ going to socialize, for once. Most days he spent with very little contact with either of the castle’s residents, all alone with his thoughts and memories. 

He was about to go down into the room, when he heard the door creek and saw the young Master peaking his head out. He seemed both flustered and disgusted that Seymore was still there, debating with himself if he should retreat or go out and do whatever he had intended before his conversation with his mother.

,,I, ahm… Can I do anything for you, sir?’’ Seymore asked awkwardly, trying to straightening his sore back. He considered it for a moment, shaking his head, before he decided to come out of the room.

,,No, I just… didn’t know _you_ were still here,’’ he said slowly, walking past the troll again. ,,I guess I need to get ready for dinner, don’t I?’’ he said softly, seemingly not to the troll. Seymore guessed he was more used to talking with himself, to the point where he didn’t notice he was still doing it in front of the troll. Then the realization hit him, and he looked regretfully back at the older man.

,,Apparently I’ll… live _here_ , for a while,’’ he tried, gesturing to the room beside him, ignoring that the young man had talked with himself. ,,You just have to say so, and I’ll be at your service,’’ he said.

,,What would _I_ need _your_ help for?’’ he said doubtingly.

,,Well, for one, sir, I cook all your meals, wash your clothes and I clean the majority of the castle myself. Granted, not as much down _here_. Maybe I could focus a little more on that, now…’’ he said slowly. The sorcerer turned bright red and glared dangerously at the man in front of him.

,,How _dare_ you talk back to me like that?!’’ he shouted, his grip around his book so tight it turned his knuckles white. Seymore quickly defused the situation, bowing down so he couldn’t see the scared look in his amber eyes, afraid the young man could hear his heartbeat from where he stood.

,,My apologies, sir. I’m afraid I’m only used to talking with your mother, really. I need to learn my limits with you, young Master,’’ he said with a nervous chuckle, as calmly as he could.

He looked up again when the human, surprisingly gentle, lifted the troll’s face. He looked like he was surprised that Seymore didn’t scold him or fear him. But in some way, it actually looked like it pleased him. All traces of his building anger were gone in an instant. His fingers were cold and he quickly removed them again, like if he didn’t even notice that he had touched the troll at all.

,,… Okay…’’ he finally said. Then he turned around and was on his way again, leaving the troll in the hallway. ,,Come and get me when dinner is ready, troll,’’ he yelled over his shoulder before vanishing into his bedroom.

Seymore wanted to collapse onto the floor, but instead, he shakenly took the bucket and left the hallway. He didn’t think about how he would organize his stuff, and he even forgot to go down into his new room, he just needed air. He suddenly felt suffocated in the dark hallways.

Had he reacted in any other way, he was sure the sorcerer wouldn’t have hesitated to give him a display of his magic. That didn’t really surprise him, but his body’s reaction, had. The sheer look in the young man’s eyes had been enough to scare him. But he felt utterly dizzy over how suddenly it had faded, and how calm and curious he had seemed just a moment afterwards.

All the troll wanted was to peacefully cook for a while, before he had to face _anyone_ again. As he chopped away, he wondered why his peaceful, isolated life suddenly had to turn around like this. If he even _remembered_ how to make small talk and make friends.

Although he didn’t exactly _expect_ the young man and him to be friends, he at least hoped that they, at some point, could have more pleasant conversations. His Madam had never used her magic a lot around the castle, and it worried him that _he_ would.

But all that had to wait. As the pots were boiling, he finally found time to read the letter in his back-pocket again. It was hard to collect his thoughts with everything else going on, but in the mess of his sister’s handwriting, one sentence stood out; _Dad died, but don’t come home._ Everything else seemed blurred.

Seymore had never wanted to go back to the Oatoak Clan, the village he was born in, but he had never expected that he wouldn’t be welcome at his own parent’s funerals. He knew his sister didn’t mean it in a harsh way, and that it was most likely his mother’s wishes, not her own, but it still stung him.

He only really was in contact with his sister. She would write him from time to time, when she had another child or if anything big happened in the family. He rarely wrote back to her, and he probably wouldn’t reply to this, either. What would he reply? ‘ _I’m sorry for your loss, but thank heavens he’s gone!’_? He couldn’t _do_ that!

Seymore had a birth defect, that hindered his growing. Trolls were big creatures, especially the ones in the West, but Seymore was an abnormally small baby. When he didn’t grow as fast as he should, the local doctor told his parents that he could do nothing about it. Maybe the doctors in the Center Isles could, but he became aware that his parents never would have taken him there, anyway.

That was only the start of his troubles. Because he didn’t grow as big or as fast as the other troll kids, he was often left behind. Not always out of spite, but he simply couldn’t catch up to them, and trolls had no time to slow down.

Then he began reading. A lot more than any of his age normally would. He mostly kept to himself and would isolate himself in his room with his books and thoughts. Even back then, his whole family thought he was a bit off, but at that time his parents had yet to disown him.

When he was a young man, before he came to the castle, and after he had moved to the Center Isles, he had had a lover he wanted to introduce to his family. Although he knew it wouldn’t be celebrated by his parents, he had no idea how badly it would end. Their relationship was strained when he moved away from the West, but when he came back to visit with his loved one, the stars fell down.

Seymore’s former lover, and longest relationship in general, was with a pixie. A pixie with fair skin and ice blue eyes, long, blonde hair and a tiny frame. But had it only been that, maybe his parents could have let him pass with his weird interest in the fair, fragile creature.

But Seymore’s lover was a man.

Maybe other troll clans weren’t as opposed to same sex couples, but the Oatoak clan was not one of those. He had been thrown out, warned to never return, and so, he hadn’t. He hadn’t heard from his parents in almost two decades. He hadn’t dared to try and contact them himself, either.

As far as he understood, his parents hadn’t told his siblings about the incident. His sister had never mentioned it, and although he rarely spoke with his brothers either, it didn’t seem like they meant him no harm. They simply didn’t have anything to talk about.

All his parents saw was a small, sensitive guy, coming home with his _boyfriend_. Seymore couldn’t explain to them that he wasn’t gay. In hindsight, they probably didn’t know what _a bisexual_ was, anyway. In the end, it didn’t matter. He had been freaking out when they threw him out, embarrassed that his loved one had to see that, but the pixie had known the risk and warned the poor troll about it, even before they went to visit. Or, so he told himself.

As he looked down at the papers again, he wasn’t even sure he felt sad. Maybe? It _was_ his dad, after all. Maybe it was less about his dad’s death, and more about the fact that he wasn’t welcome at the funeral. When he didn’t want to dwell on these thoughts anymore, he put the papers in his back pocket again and continued cooking dinner.

The rest of his afternoon was rather uneventful. The food was ready, and so was his Madam. When the young Master didn’t arrive, he went to get him, as he had promised. He felt oddly nervous when he knocked on the young man’s door, not even sure if he was in there, anymore.

,,Master? Dinner is ready. Your mother is waiting for you,’’ he said softly. It surprised him that the door flew open in an instant, but he simply stepped away to let the young man get through. He didn’t say anything, he just led the way, with Seymore following after him.

The sorcerer was usually dressed in oversized clothes, but tonight it seemed like he had dressed up. His usual sweater was replaced with a lavender shirt, and he wore firmly pressed, black pants to complete his simple look. It was rarely Seymore really looked at the young man, but he hadn’t been aware how thin the human actually was. It was harder to spot beneath the baggy clothes, but now, his clothes hugged every curve of him and made it very clear.

,,Did you move your stuff yet?’’ The sudden break of silence surprised the troll, and it took him a minute to figure out it was him that he spoke to.

,,Ah, no, sir. I will do it tomorrow,’’ he said calmly. The young man looked back at him and nodded, before he went into the dining hall where his mother sat and waited for him.

,,Fine. It’s not like I look _forward_ to share my space,’’ he mumbled underneath his breath, not loud enough for his mother to hear. Seymore pulled the chair out for the young man, suddenly afraid that he would take offense to this, but he just rolled his eyes as he sat down.

,,I promise, I will make myself as unnoticeable as possible,’’ he whispered to the sorcerer before he began serving the food.

The dinner was uneventful. His Madam tried to talk about her upcoming travel with her son. She tried to talk about magic, about rules while she was away, but he didn’t really engage in the conversation. The meal was almost done, and Seymore began to clear the table of leftovers, when his Madam suddenly stood up.

,,What’s the _matter_ with you? You want space? Now you have the whole castle! What _is_ it you want from me, W-,’’ she tried, but she was cut off when he stood up so suddenly that both the chair fell down and the table moved.

,, _Don’t you_ dare _use that name!_ My name is _Nite!_ ’’ he shouted through gritted teeth. ,,You want to have this conversation? _Fine!_ What’s wrong with me, you ask? What’s wrong with _you?!_ ’’ he sneered. ,,You _barely_ tolerate my existence, then _beg_ me to stay, just to, what? Abandon me with your house slave?’’ he grimaced.

His Madam was perplexed for a moment, trying to figure out what to do and what to say. She looked slightly flustered over at Seymore, who tried to stay out of their discussion, mostly because of the magic static surrounding the young man, but he felt something he hadn’t felt in a long time: pity. He felt pity towards the sorcerer, who spoke with such _frustration_ that he faintly recognized as his own.

,,I _will_ explain this, at some point,’’ she tried, but he just shook his head violently. ,,Just calm down, I want to listen, Nite.’’

,,No you _don’t!_ ’’ he shouted. Seymore rarely saw him _this_ angry, and hadn’t seen anything like this since Nite was a child. He ducked under the table, trying to calm his nerves. Nite sounded so defeated. Like he had hurt for a long time. Maybe Seymore hadn’t been aware before now? He knew that his Madam had her troubles with her son, but had never noticed if she was downright _cruel_ towards him. But it was hard to focus on a hurting, young soul, when the troll’s skin tingled and his heart raced. ,, _I want to leave this awful place!_ ’’ he shouted, falling to his knees as something resembling lightning flew from his hands. It hit the ceiling, and unfortunately the chandelier, that fell to the floor with a shattering shriek, crystals spewing everywhere on the floor.

When the young sorcerer opened his eyes again, he franticly tried to put the crystals back together, but with no success. In a state of sheer panic, he stood up and ran out of the messy dining hall, leaving the troll and his mother in the mess he had made.

Seymore carefully got up and dusted himself of. His Madam sat down in a chair that hadn’t fallen down in the commotion. The room was dim and the sunlight from outside was fleeting. He tiredly looked around, ready to fetch his broom and bucket, when she stopped him.

,,It’s alright, Seymore. I’ll handle this one…’’ she said tiredly. He nodded and was about to leave, when a sudden spark of bravery hit him. He faced her again, not taking his eyes off her.

,,… I never really understood where Nite _came_ from. I mean, I never saw anyone around here, who wasn’t staff. And… there weren’t any humans in the staff,’’ he started, startling the woman in front of him. ,,Granted, it’s none of my business. The young Master has never been anything but loud and up for trouble, but… I don’t really think I can blame him for that, anymore. He is _hurting._ ’’

It took her a moment to take in his words, before her face twisted in disgust. He had never seen her angry like this, but he didn’t step down.

,,How… _dare you_ , after all-,’’ she tried, but he cut her off.

,,Willa, I am very grateful for _everything_ you have done for me, but as the _outcast son_ of troll parents who had a child with a birth defect, it’s obvious this isn’t normal. Your relationship with him isn’t normal, _Nite_ isn’t normal, and I don’t think it’s fair to blame him for acting out when you find something _more important_ than his 16-year-old birthday, a very important day for most creatures all around Aenamo,’’ he said, getting more and more worked up about the ordeal. ,,I mean no disrespect, Ma’am. But you asked me to take care of him. And I think I’ll go do that,’’ he said, about to turn around.

He suddenly felt a powerful force around him, tugging him back and turning him to face the sorceress again. She had _never_ used force against him before. He hadn’t even considered the possibility of her doing so. She looked absolutely furious down at him, as she brought him to his knees.

,,You have _no idea_ what you’re talking about, _troll_ ,’’ she said warningly. ,,You haven’t raised him. _Go try that_. I promise you, he has no shed of remorse or empathy, no grasp about _right or wrong_. It’s not like I haven’t taught him, he just doesn’t _care_. The only thing he cares about is that Godforsaken magic I unfortunately birthed him with!’’ His big, amber eyes shook as she spoke. The terror was painted so clearly in his face, that she could see it even through her rage.

Suddenly her gaze softened, as if she awoke from a trance. Her eyes flickered and her grasp around him faded before she let him go. She looked concerned down at him, looking at her hands as if she was afraid of herself.

,, _I need to get rid of it…_ ’’ she whispered, but Seymore still tried to catch his breath, with no interest in knowing what she talked about. ,,I’m _so_ sorry, Seymore,’’ she tried. He could feel that she meant it, but it didn’t really change his view on things. ,,Please, _please_ don’t leave, not _now_. I don’t know what came over me…’’

,,I won’t,’’ he said, dusted himself clean again and looked at her, with his big, sad eyes. ,,Maybe you were right. Maybe he _does_ need someone like me. If you will excuse me, _Ma’am_ , I would like to move my stuff now.’’

She nodded, but didn’t respond further. He left as fast as he could without running, but as soon as he was down in his chamber, he exhaled as if he hadn’t breathed in years, falling to the floor. His body shook and he felt _dirty_ and _broken_. Even after all these years, his fear of magic, taught to him in childhood, was as strong as ever.

He didn’t even notice when the tears started to pour out. He rarely cried; it had been a long time since he had last done so. Everything flooded back to him, everything he had tried to suppress, every bad memory and choice who had brought him to this.

He didn’t hate it here, he told himself, although it wasn’t as pleasant now as it had been when he arrived. He had _liked_ being social. He wasn’t any good at it, but he _liked_ it, _craved_ it, as the air that he desperately gasped for now, drowning himself in tears and sorrow. But as the maids and servants left, he had been left behind here, adapting to his own social celibacy, in a far-away castle only few people knew even existed.

Had he feared _pixie_ magic as much? No, it had been different, he told himself. His lover’s magic had been light, sparkly and fun. Not _powerful_ or _controlling_ or _consuming_. Trolls feared magic, as they rarely had any flair for it, and it was almost destined to crashing and burning. The ice blue eyes haunted him, making him close his own eyes, shaking his head to get the image out again.

Seymore rarely thought about the fact that the Madam was a sorceress. Now he desperately wished to forget that again. He had _never_ feared Willa before, but now he simply didn’t feel _safe_ around her.

He fished the papers out of his back pocket again, tearing them apart while he read sentences here and there. _‘I got another son.’ … ‘It’s getting colder. It’s not that long until winter.’ … ‘Are you having fun on your adventures? Write back once in a while, will you?’ … ‘Do you remember that day? We laughed so much!’_

_…_

_‘Dad died, but don’t come home.’_

The _shame_ he felt, about everything regarding his parents flooded out. How he felt he betrayed his parents by choosing _love_ , from a man that couldn’t even love him in the end. He remembered his dad’s face, the last time he saw him; twisted in rage, with no remorse of kicking him out. Now he would never see him again.

One by one, the pieces of paper fell down to the floor. The tears dried and his breath steadied. When he finally was done ripping up the letter, he laid down on the floor, paper pieces everywhere. He felt so tired and alone.

And Nite did the same, he thought. Maybe Seymore felt alone and broken and _wrong_. Maybe it was too late for the troll to change that…

But it wasn’t too late for Nite.

He stood up, collected all the pieces of paper and threw it in the trash, before he began to collect his belongings. It didn’t take him long, and soon he wandered off with his clothes and books underneath one arm, his mattress underneath the other. He would have liked to spend another night in his lonesome chamber, mentally preparing himself for the months to come, but there was no reason to delay it further.

He tossed the mattress down into the basement chamber and was pleased to see how much space still was left. Maybe he could find unused furniture around the castle, in rooms long forgotten, or maybe he could make a trip to the local market at some point. After all, he did still get paid for his services at the castle, saving up for an unknown future, although he had never thought to use it on furniture while still working at the castle.

He tossed his clothes and books down onto the mattress, with no intention of making it neat right now. He looked around instead. The hallways were dark. This part of the castle didn’t have as many windows, making it seem darker than the rest of the castle. Although the West wasn’t known for its bright, sunny days, this island was particular grey and rainy, if not dimmer and dry in the summer.

,,I thought you said you would move your stuff _tomorrow_ ,’’ a voice said behind him. He looked back at Nite, who seemingly had been in his chamber. The young man looked nervous, as if Seymore was here to scold him, but he still seemed cranky and hesitant about the troll’s presence. ,,Did my mother send you?’’ he sighed, but Seymore shook his head.

,,No, I’m here on my own, sir. I just thought it would be better to move it tonight,’’ he smiled. Nite nodded slowly, his eyes flickering shortly. His mother had said he felt no remorse, but he seemed so flustered about his outburst. ,,Are you… alright…? Sir?’’ he asked slowly, making the mahogany eyes fall on him again.

,,Of course I am! Why wouldn’t I?’’ he sneered as he walked past the troll, on his way to his study chamber. Seymore smiled sadly after him, as he said, just so loud that Nite could hear it:

,,I just wanted to check! I remember all too well how alone I felt, when my parents shouted at me.’’ It made the sorcerer stop for a moment as he looked back at the smiling troll. ,,I will head down into my room, sir. But feel free to speak up, if there’s anything you need,’’ he said, before sliding his tall body down the basement’s ladders.

He couldn’t remember the last time he felt like this. So drained and defeated. Like he didn’t want to wake up in the morning. But he knew he would. As soon as the sun would rise, his inner clock would get back to working and he would wake, whether he liked it or not. But right now, that felt like a life time away, as he looked around in the dark room.

He threw the books and clothes aside as he fell down on the mattress. He should have grabbed a candle, he thought to himself, before he went down here. As he heard his stomach growl, he remembered he hadn’t eaten after the commotion, but there was no way he wanted to get up right now. He could eat tomorrow. Everything could wait until tomorrow…

The room was silent and cold. Not too cold, but colder than his other room, he thought. Maybe it was just him, feeling cold, after running and crying and freaking out? Maybe he was just too tired.

,,Actually…’’ It startled him when he heard Nite’s voice, coming from upstairs the chamber. As there were no door, it was easy for him to just look down into the dark room, although he doubted the young man could even see him. Seymore’s body jerked forward, and he sat up as his heart skipped a beat, complaining to never get a break. Although Seymore sat in the dark, Nite’s face was barely visible from the entrance. He looked nervous again. ,,… I didn’t mean to break the chandelier. And I didn’t mean to ruin the dinner.’’

Seymore sat baffled for a moment, just looking dumbfounded up at the young man. Nite just stood there, waiting for _some_ sort of response, before the troll finally calmed down.

,,That’s great,’’ Seymore mumbled, stood up and moved to the entrance to face his young Master better. ,,It was an accident.’’ Nite nodded slowly.

,,… The meal was nice. A little too salty. I didn’t like my vegetables… But that doesn’t mean I wanted to _waste_ the food, like that…’’ he said slowly.

,,That’s okay, Sir,’’ he smiled. He didn’t expect Nite to be here to talk about his distaste for _asparagus_ and _celery_ , yet, here he was. ,,Can I tell you a secret?’’ he said daringly. Nite looked a little hesitant, but nodded regardless. ,,I think I angered your mother, too.’’

,, _You?_ How come?’’ he asked doubtingly, but weirdly excited at the same time.

,,Well, I kind of said to her it was a _dick move_ , to go on a ‘business trip’ when she wouldn’t be back home for your birthday,’’ he said slowly. Nite’s face went through an array of emotions in just a second, from his doubt, to worry, to what he mostly assumed was joy. He rarely saw Nite smile, and it seemed more like a grimace than anything, but his big, mahogany eyes were happy.

,, _Really?!_ I can’t imagine that she took that well,’’ he chuckled. He _chuckled_. A weird sound, coming from him. It baffled the troll, how Nite would go from being reserved, educated and most resembling an adult, to be this blue-eyed kid, who _chuckled_ by the thought of his mother being told of.

,,She didn’t,’’ he admitted. ,,But that’s alright. I… I may not agree with the way you handled the situation, _sir_ , but when all is said and done, she’s still the adult.’’ Nite scoffed, but the smile still twinkled in his eyes.

,, _I’m_ an adult, too,’’ he said warningly. Then he sat down on the floor, his legs dangling into the basement chamber, as to not bend his back while he talked to the troll, as well as trying to be more on level with Seymore again. ,,She just makes me _so mad_ ,’’ he confessed. ,,She looks at me as if I’m… _a disgrace_ ,’’ he said.

,,I know that feeling all too well,’’ Seymore admitted. Nite grew silent anew, and the troll wondered how he could make him cool of a little more. ,,… What made you change your mind?’’ he asked curiously.

,,About what?’’ he asked confused.

,,About talking with me. I didn’t expect you to come back,’’ he said. The young man shrugged and looked away.

,,I don’t… really talk, with anyone, ever…’’ he said slowly. ,,Besides my mother, I guess… I feel… _stuck_. Like I’m going to be in this Godforsaken castle my whole life,’’ he said as he looked at the ceiling. ,,You never… You never talk to me, normally. Because you’re afraid, right? I know it’s my mother’s idea to move you down here, but I didn’t… I guess I didn’t expect you to _actually_ wanting to talk with me… Like, I didn’t expect that you would actually… _care,_ ’’ he admitted.

Seymore made a gesture to make Nite move a little, before he pulled himself out of the chamber again. They sat beside each other, both of their legs dangling into the room. The troll leaned forward, trying to find the right words.

He _wanted_ to comfort the young man, and at the same time, he feared Nite would explode if he pushed him too far. Building trust with the young sorcerer had never been a priority for him, and the Madam had mostly wanted him to stay away from her son. Not because she thought Seymore would bring harm to him, more likely the other way around.

,,I’m not afraid of you, sir,’’ he said, for the second time this evening. ,,I’m afraid of…-’’

,,… magic, right?’’ he said, cutting off the troll. He looked at him, curiously, with those big, deep-set eyes, he had never really looked into before. ,,I know. Trolls normally don’t like magic, do they?’’ Seymore shook his head silently. ,,… You don’t look like most trolls. What’s wrong with you?’’ His tone wasn’t harsh, and for once, the words didn’t hurt so much to hear. This wasn’t the first time anyone had asked him that, and it would likely not be the last one, either.

,,I’ve heard that a lot,’’ he chuckled, his voice deep and gruff. It seemed to startle Nite, just as much as it had startled Seymore when the sorcerer himself had chuckled just a minute ago. ,,I don’t know. I’m just born like this. But you’re right. I’m not like most trolls,’’ he smiled.

,,I didn’t mean it like… It wasn’t my intention…’’ he tried, but Seymore brushed it off.

,,I know, I know.’’ They sat silently for a while, the shadows growing longer as time passed. Seymore wanted to sleep, but he didn’t want to break things up if Nite had anything else on his mind.

,,Your hand is okay again. That’s good. I guess not all magic is _awful?_ ’’ he said slowly. Seymore nodded and looked down at his healed hand. ,,Do you think… I’m the same…?’’ he said slowly. Seymore looked confused, his mind had wandered and it was hard for him to understand the question. Nite took a deep breath, before he spoke again, this time looking directly at the troll: ,,Do you think I have a birth defect?’’

Seymore wanted to assure him, but he couldn’t. Although Nite undoubtedly looked human, it wouldn’t surprise him if the Madam kept secrets about her son. But he couldn’t tell him _that_ either.

,,I don’t know, sir. But in the end, it shouldn’t matter. Should it?’’ Nite thought about it for a moment, before he shook his head. He smiled again.

,,I guess not. _Huh_.’’

Seymore placed one of his heavy hands on the small man’s shoulder. At first, Nite seemed startled. Then almost _disgusted_ , which made Seymore remove his hand in an instant. But then he seemed flustered and embarrassed, and Seymore didn’t know why.

,,I’m sorry,’’ the troll said, unsure what went through his young Master’s head.

,,No, I… _uhm_ …’’ he said, standing up and stepping away from the older man. ,,I have to go, _now_ ,’’ he mumbled, hasting to his room, away from the confused troll. Seymore heard the heavy door close behind the young man, before he finally decided to slide back down into his chamber.

He didn’t want to think more about Nite for now. He could figure out tomorrow why he literally _ran away_ , after everything that had just happened. He didn’t want to think about the Madam or his parents or _anything_ right now.

As he closed his eyes, the haunting, ice blue eyes met him anew. Always now, before he had to sleep, in his dark room with all his lonesome thoughts. Eyes, that once graced him with passion, now only a faint memory.

He sighed, remembering why he wanted to spend a last night in his old chamber, before he moved so much closer to his young Master’s bedroom. The lack of a door to his room concerned him a little. Although his room was dark, he was unsure if Nite would be able to see him, if he decided to peek down into the room at night.

Seymore had lived by himself ever since the last maids and servants had left the castle, well over ten years ago. That gave him a lot of _privacy_ that he desperately craved right now. As he didn’t know if Nite would get out of his room again, or how thin the walls were in this part of the castle, he didn’t dare to indulge in his _nighttime ritual_. He had thought he would barely have the energy to do so, anyway, but old habits die hard, and his body suddenly awoke anew.

He grumbled irritated as he turned around on the mattress, trying to make himself comfortable. He needed his blanket, but he could get that tomorrow. Finally, he let himself relax and fall into unpeaceful sleep.

When he awoke, Willa was already gone.


	2. 2) Sweet tea

The pot began to boil. He poured the hot water from the kettle with his tea leaves. As he waited, he gathered the ingredients for breakfast.

While he had stayed with Nite, and as he learned more about him, he found out the young man rarely had enjoyed his food. He liked sweet things, like fruits and cakes and baked goods. That didn’t mean that Seymore _stopped_ giving him vegetables, soups, stews or roasts’, he simply just tried to make his meals more enjoyable. He had cooked for the Madam’s liking for years, but now he didn’t need to.

Seymore could eat almost anything. He liked the fine dining from North, or exotic treats from the East, but he wasn’t a picky eater. Whether he cooked for the Madam’s taste or for Nite’s wasn’t that important for him.

It wasn’t like Nite _starved_ , or anything. He had feared that at first, when it occurred to him that the sorcerer didn’t like his food, and compared it to how thin he was. As the weeks had turned to months, Nite still didn’t gain any weight. He just didn’t _recent_ eating, anymore.

While his mother was gone, Nite was in charge of the castle. He didn’t really care what Seymore did, what parts of the castle he tended to, or what kind of food he cooked, as long as he didn’t disturb him while he studied. The troll had taken care of the castle alone for years, so his days wasn’t that different now.

Except for the fact that he didn’t wake up alone, anymore. While his days was spent as he used to, and his evenings was spent reading books he had never read before, his nights were spent with gentle caresses and needy noises.

To say that he disliked this, would be a lie. Although he had a hard time figuring out how he really felt about the whole ordeal, he couldn’t deny that he was just a troll, and being touched was nice. Just thinking about it made him feel warm.

It hadn’t bothered him for years, that he hadn’t had sex since before he arrived at the castle. In the beginning, it did. For more reasons than just the lack of touch and intimacy he had with his former lover. But then, his body almost forgot what it felt like, to be touched.

What Nite lacked in social skills and experience, he made up for with curiosity and his willingness to adapt. He asked questions, how to touch the troll better, and was always interested in new things Seymore would introduce him to.

Nite didn’t fear Seymore. He didn’t find him icky, or he didn’t show it, at least. Of all the times he could do so, he didn’t treat Seymore as his slave or as a lower race than himself. If anything, he treated him as his teacher and with the most respect Seymore had ever experienced.

With a relieved sigh, he drank the hot tea, that finally were done. It calmed him down, as to wash away another night of _gods knew what_ he did with the sorcerer, to prepare him for yet another day.

He assembled Nite’s breakfast, grabbed himself a piece of bread, and went to his Master’s bedchambers. He knew he wasn’t there, but he still placed the plates in his room, knowing that Nite would come back in there as soon as he awoke.

Seymore actually didn’t know if Nite went _straight_ to his room. He always made sure to get out before Nite woke up, and often he would make sure to clean other parts of the castle, so he wouldn’t run into the young man right after he stepped out of the basement chamber. As time passed through the day, the memories of the night would have faded ever so slightly, or just enough to make him brave enough to come back to this part of the castle, to make lunch and small tidy-ups the rooms needed.

Nite’s room and his study chamber were the only places he didn’t really touch or enter, besides bringing him breakfast or lunch there. He ate most of his dinners in the small dining area beside the kitchen. Sometimes Seymore joined him, but he would mostly decline the young man’s invitation. He felt weird eating with others, and that hadn’t changed with their sudden intimacy.

He had feared that Nite maybe fell for him, but with time, things had taken a turn. Seymore didn’t want another lover, Seymore _never_ wanted another lover, but mostly, he didn’t want it to be _Nite_. Not because he wasn’t beautiful enough, and surprisingly not because he feared he would treat him badly, but he didn’t want Nite to go through the things he had, himself.

Maybe people were more understanding in the Center Isles, but here in the West, they weren’t keen on queers. Maybe some species were, but Seymore had never seen anything that made him feel normal or at home, being attracted to guys as well. And he didn’t want Nite to go through a life, that was so far off normal in the first place, feeling that he was wrong for this as well.

While Seymore didn’t downright was _in love_ with Nite, he feared he maybe would, if he got _too_ friendly with the human. If he made Nite smile _too_ many times. If they woke up together, if he _kissed_ him…

He blushed and hurried out of the room by the thought. He didn’t want to think that through. He hurried past his own chamber, faintly hearing light snoring from downstairs, before he went on with his day, in a fog of his thoughts and memories from the past months…

… ,,Stairs?’’ the troll asked confused. Nite looked down into the basement chamber, nodding slightly. Seymore had brought an unused shelf down into his room, which finely housed his sparse possessions, besides a chair with a candelabra on it, he used for reading in the evenings.

,,Yerh, stairs,’’ he said again, finally remembering that Seymore was right in front of him. ,,I mean, do you want stairs?’’ Seymore looked a little skeptical at the young man.

,,I mean… _Yes_ , but _how?_ I don’t mind the ladder, and I don’t really see _how_ to build a staircase into the room…’’ he said slowly.

,,I can make it,’’ Nite shrugged, but Seymore didn’t seem convinced. ,, _Yes_ , with _magic_ , oh you _fearful_ troll,’’ he said dramatically. Seymore chuckled a little by this, making Nite seem irritated again.

,,I don’t know, sir. Wouldn’t that be hard to do?’’ Seymore asked.

,,I don’t know, I never tried,’’ he admitted, unregretfully. The troll really wanted to see the best in Nite, he wanted to believe that the young man did it to be nice to him, but on the other hand, he also knew that Nite had something new he wanted to test out. He sighed as he looked down into his chamber, debating with himself whether or not he would risk burning or otherwise destroying his belongings if he didn’t clear them from the room first.

,,Would there even be space for a whole staircase?’’ he asked slowly.

,,Well, I would need to remove a little of the hallway. And then do it pretty close to the wall, so it wouldn’t just take up all of your space,’’ he said, as he walked around the entrance to the room.

Seymore much more wanted a door than a staircase, but he was unsure how Nite would respond to that. And in worst case scenario, Seymore could always move back to his former chamber, should the project go badly.

,,Sure, go for it,’’ he said, smiling as he looked at the sorcerer, that seemed rather enthusiastic about the project. ,,Just let me grab my stuff. Not that I don’t expect it to go right, but you know… Just in case…’’ he said, as he grabbed everything out of the room. ,,I… will leave you for a while, sir.’’

,,That’s alright. I’ll find you when I’m done,’’ he said proudly, cracking his fingers as a warm up.

Seymore didn’t know much about magic, but he knew there were different kinds. Some species were born with it, most species was able to learn _some_ kind of magic. And some were magically handicapped. Some _chose_ not to use magic, and for some, it didn’t interest them at all. For some species, it depended on their location as well. The merfolk in South did lot of ritual magic, while the merfolk in North rarely did so.

He knew Nite was born with some kind of magic, but mostly, Nite _studied_ magic. It was his interest, his _passion_ , and while he was young and still had a lot to learn, he had a flair for it, as far as Seymore knew. But he didn’t really know the extent of his abilities. Making _staircases_ didn’t sound like textbook examples of magic.

Aenamo, _the land in the skies_ , were filled with magic. Magic was like an invisible force, that gave life to so many creatures, plant life and technology, that Vaihines, _the Mainland_ , never had and never would see. While Seymore had never seen the Mainland, he knew they didn’t have the same kind of technology that Aenamo had, and it was all thanks to the magic, that flew across the realms as invisible rivers, as if it was just something in the _air_. So even if Seymore didn’t really feel comfortable with magic, he was still thankful for the things it could do.

He placed his boxed belongings, as well as his mattress, in the big hallway that led to the entrance hall. Then he started to clean; first the hallway, then the entrance. He even managed to go through the big kitchen, the dining hall, and two of the bathrooms on the first floor. It was rather late, when it finally occurred to him that Nite hadn’t been by to talk to him. He needed to make lunch, anyway, so he headed back to the sorcerer’s part of the castle, but he found him nowhere.

Seymore made lunch, cleaned the kitchen and quietly searched for his Master. Nite wasn’t in his study chamber, not in his room, and not in the basement chamber, which still didn’t have a staircase. He almost panicked, thinking Nite had _left_ as soon as he got a chance, before he heard the strange sound of buckets rolling around from the big hallway.

And there he was, in his oversized, greyish sweater, wide eyed, as if he had been caught doing mischiefs.

,,Nite, where _were_ you?’’ Seymore said hastily as he hurried over to the younger man.

,,In the closet,’’ he said. ,,I needed a bucket. Everything exploded,’’ he explained. The troll was suddenly taking aback, but he soon realized what the human had meant. The days had been way too stressful for the older man at this point, he thought, if his thoughts drifted this _violently_.

,,Everything looked fine,’’ he assured him, but Nite just rolled his eyes.

,, _Yes_ , because I _cleaned it_ , of course,’’ he said. ,,Or, I removed the worst parts, and cleaned the rest…’’ he mumbled. Then he seemed utterly enraged the next moment, out of nowhere. ,,Why can’t I make it _work?!_ ’’

,,Relax, sir. Magic takes a lot of time. You’re very well educated already,’’ he guaranteed him with a nervous smile, but Nite would have none of it.

,,No, it’s _not_ good enough! I should be _better!_ _She_ build the whole castle, why can’t _I_ make a single, damn staircase?!’’ he said through gritted teeth, referring to his mother.

,,She was older…’’ he tried.

,,Not by _much_ ,’’ he barked. ,,And she shouldn’t even had been _able_ to do such stuff! _I’m_ the one _born_ with magic; I should surpass her _easily!_ ’’ he shouted.

Seymore let Nite calm down for a moment, just watching the small human groan and hiss at himself, before he suddenly realized what he had said.

,,What do you mean with ‘born with magic’? Isn’t Willa-, I mean, your mother, born with magic as well?’’ he asked. He had always thought so, and the Madam had never made him believe so otherwise. Nite’s rage faded as suddenly as it had occurred, and he looked surprised up at the troll.

,,What? _No_ , she isn’t. Human’s aren’t born with magic in Vaihines,’’ he said irritated.

,,I always thought… that it was just a story… No one _really_ finds Aenamo, if they’re from the Mainland…’’ he said slowly, doubtingly.

,, _Of course_ they do, troll,’’ he bit back. ,,It’s just not very often they do so. It’s very _hard_ to get up here,’’ he said, as if he talked with someone less intelligent than him. ,,Why don’t you _know_ that?’’

,,I… I _do_ , but I thought it was just stories… People aren’t educated in history like _that,_ not in the West, at least,’’ he protested. No one knew much about Aenamo, other than it some point had been part of the Mainland. But how it separated itself, people only had stories and theories about, although Nite spoke with such insight it was hard to not believe him. The sorcerer shrugged, but suddenly looked worried, as if he _needed_ the stories to tell truths.

,,Well… Maybe it _is_ just stories… Maybe some parts are true, while others are just legends, but… I do believe her, when she talks about the Mainland. That’s the only thing she really seems sincere about,’’ he said, strangely softly, as when he had spoken to himself.

,,Either way,’’ Seymore said, reclaiming Nite’s attention again, ,,you’re still very skilled for your age, sir. Maybe you’re not ready to build _a castle_ , or a couple of staircases, but I’ve heard how talented you are,’’ he tried.

Nite pouted and looked away, seemingly flustered by the troll’s kind words. Seymore then took the bucket away from the sorcerer, leading the way for the lunch table. He hadn’t left the plate in Nite’s room, as he had already seen that the young man wasn’t in there.

,,I can bring it to your room, if you want to wash up, sir,’’ he said as he prepared his own meal. Seymore liked to have heavier meals in the evening and afternoon, and he admittedly didn’t really want his Master to see his serving size. But Nite didn’t budge, and just sat down.

,,There’s no need to. My hands are clean, and I don’t mind… company,’’ he said slowly, looking at the food. A slight grimace went over his face, when he saw the cooked vegetables beside his potatoes. Seymore chuckled lightly, as he slowly sat down in front of the young man at the table.

,,You don’t really like vegetables, do you?’’ he asked. Nite usually ate _some_ of his greens, not _all_ of them, he knew that, but he had never really thought much about it.

,,No, they have a weird texture,’’ he muttered, poking them unflattering with his fork. ,,But you do, I see,’’ he said nonchalantly as Seymore began to eat. The troll stopped mid-air, before he lowered his fork, which made Nite realize that he said it out loud.

,,I like to get a variety of foods. I mostly eat what I serve,’’ he said, pitching them both water to their meals. ,,I always cooked a lot of different foods for your mother. She likes colorful plates, including a lot of vegetables. I don’t mind that, but I need a lot of fuel,’’ he explained. ,,Maybe… Maybe not _this_ much, but I have only so much time to bad habits, might as well be indulging in food,’’ he smiled tiredly.

,,I didn’t mean…’’ Nite tried, but let the topic die down. ,,The potatoes are fine,’’ he said instead, eating quietly again.

,,What _do_ you like? I can cook whatever you want. Remember, you’re my boss now,’’ he tried playfully.

,,I’m _always_ you’re boss, troll,’’ he said sharply. ,,I like cake, but I _know_ I can’t have cake all the time. I’m not _insane_ ,’’ he said as he rolled his eyes. ,,Pies, cookies, pastries… It’s not often that my mother requests it, but the times she does…’’ He almost smiled, in a way that seemed so awfully pained.

,,Well then, you’re very mature to listen to,’’ Seymore chuckled. ,,I wasn’t as smart about things when I was your age. When my parents weren’t home, me and my siblings would do _just_ that; indulge on sweets.’’ The pained smile founds Seymore’s lips instead. ,,I actually learned how to bake from my sister. She makes much prettier cakes, but they taste the same,’’ he assured him.

,,I didn’t know trolls baked,’’ he said.

,,I don’t really know if that’s a common troll thing, actually. Most trolls eat simple and as _raw_ as possible,’’ he explained. ,,But my parents didn’t have a lot of money, so we made our sweets ourselves.’’

,,Smart move,’’ he said, poking to another carrot, before he slowly ate it. ,,What about pies? Meat pies, that is, not just the sweet ones. Or… ugh, _vegetable pies_ , I guess, if we really have to.’’

,,I can make that, sir,’’ he said, finishing his own food. If Seymore was fast at eating, or Nite just slow, wasn’t fully clear, but Nite had barely ate three-quarters, while Seymore’s plate had been full to the brim. At first, the troll seemed embarrassed by this, but as Nite didn’t acknowledge it, he seemed to relax again.

When the Madam had still been here, Nite usually ate alone. Every now and again, he would join his mother for dinner, but there would always be some arguing or bickering about it, and usually he didn’t eat much at these dinners. Seymore always ate alone. He didn’t really like to eat with anyone, anymore, but he did want to build some sort of trust with the young man, thus compromising his own comfort for Nite’s.

,,Is there anything else I can do for you, sir? If not, I’ll get back to my chores,’’ Seymore said, trying not to seem in a hurry.

,,No, it’s fine,’’ he said slowly, still trying to finish his plate.

,,Are you still thinking about the staircase?’’ Seymore tried, when Nite seemed to be lost in thoughts. ,,It doesn’t really bother me with the ladder, sir. I’m a strong troll, it’s easy to pull myself up from the room,’’ he assured him.

,,Well it’s very _kind_ of you, but to be frank, it’s for practicing,’’ Nite scoffed. Seymore had guessed as much already. ,,I mean, I still wanted to _do_ something… for you, _I guess_ , but it was an easy way to test out some things,’’ he admitted.

,,That’s alright, too. But why does it matter so much if you _surpass_ her? By my knowledge, you’re very skilled for a human. Only a few sorcerers can do as you,’’ he said slowly.

,,Why? _Why?_ ’’ he said, seemingly angry, but then he simmered down again. ,,Now, why is it?’’ he asked himself softly. ,,It’s because… She wanted an heir, right? She wanted someone who could take over her studies, at some point. A human’s lifespan is so _fragile_. She knows she won’t live forever,’’ he said slowly, as if he recited something, he had learned a long time ago. It surprised the troll, but he didn’t want to interrupt. ,,But if I can’t _surpass her_ , there’s no way I can finish her projects. That’s why she travels, there’s _something_ she’s working on. But she won’t tell me, until I’m _older_ and _stronger,_ ’’ he said mockingly.

,,That makes sense,’’ Seymore said, leaning forward as he listened to the young man. ,,I never asked many questions about her travels. I just did as I was told,’’ he shrugged. ,,But, what do _you_ want to do, Nite? Your life is yours. You’re not in this world, to take over hers.’’

He sometimes forgot how secluded Nite was. The castle didn’t get any guests, and since the last maids and servants left, there were only Seymore and the Madam. The troll wasn’t sure if Nite could even remember the old staff. All the young man knew of, was Seymore and his own mother.

It looked like he had never thought about what _he_ wanted in life. Seymore didn’t expect Willa to ask her son such questions, either. While the Madam was kind in many ways, it didn’t seem like she had been as kind or patient with her own son, as Seymore had believed her to be.

,,What I want?’’ he said slowly. ,,I don’t know. I think I _do_ want to complete her work,’’ he said, as if he doubted himself. ,,But I also just want to… I don’t know, get _out there_ , at some point. I want to travel, _too_. The castle is very big,’’ he said and looked around. ,,But it’s not as big as everything _out there_.’’

,,That makes sense. I think most young people feel like that. It’s a big world, after all,’’ he smiled.

,,I don’t think… I belong out there, you know?’’ he said slowly. ,,It’s not like I _never_ seen sunlight, I’m just… not allowed to leave the castle or the forest surrounding it. But I’m _basically_ an adult, so I don’t know what her _problem_ is!’’ he sneered suddenly.

It was clear that Nite didn’t know why he wasn’t allowed to leave the castle. Seymore was curious why the Madam wouldn’t allow her own son to leave, but although the picture of a perfectly fair and rational lady was fading, he guessed her reasoning had to be good. Afterall, Seymore didn’t want to hurt the young man unknowingly by taking him out, visiting villages or otherwise introducing him to people. It would have been rather easy for him to escort Nite to towns or villages around the West while his mother was away, but if he had some sort of illness, Seymore feared it would kill the young man, or something similar.

He had never really cared about the Madam’s secrets before. He didn’t ask many questions, and mostly wanted to be left alone. But Seymore _was_ curious when he was placed in situations like these. If she wanted him to help Nite, he thought he deserved to know _why_ things was the way they were.

,,I’ve felt similar,’’ the troll finally said. Nite scoffed and moved his plate away.

,,You always say that,’’ he said unapprovingly.

,,I know. I’m sorry, sir. It’s not to make your hardships seem less unique or important, it’s simply to explain that I _get you_. That even though it feels like you’re all on your own… You’re not,’’ he tried, but Nite just seemed annoyed by this.

,,But you weren’t _locked up_ ,’’ he argued. ,,I _am._ ’’

,,No, I wasn’t. I said I’ve felt _similar_ , not the same,’’ he said slowly. ,,But your experience with loneliness, I’ve felt like that. That I felt _strange_ or _not good enough_ for my parents, I’ve felt like that. Feeling trapped in my village, I definitely felt like that, too.’’ He looked down, clearing his throat, as to not think too deep about it. ,,And maybe I wished that someone had slowed down enough and said ‘Hey, I feel like that, too’, at some point in my life. But there wasn’t.’’

He felt Nite staring at him, but he didn’t want to look up to meet the sorcerers gaze, no matter if he judged him or understood what he said. He didn’t like to feel so vulnerable in front of others, but after all, he didn’t know Nite that well yet. It had only been a couple of days since the Madam left, and they both still needed to get used to their new living conditions.

Slowly, Nite reached over the table to lift the troll’s face, just as gentle and curious as a few days ago. Like he was in some sort of trance, not really paying attention to his actions, his only goal was to find out why Seymore wouldn’t look at him. When the older man did so again, it was as if the mahogany eyes didn’t even see him clearly, but at the same time, looked at something deep within the troll’s amber eyes.

,,I feel like that, too,’’ he whispered. Seymore suddenly felt tense with the whole situation, and broke free from the enchanting gaze the younger man had. That seemed to wake Nite up, as he shook his head, looking confused at the troll. ,,What’s wrong?’’ he asked hastily, as he inspected the confused look in Seymore’s eyes.

,,I… I am not really used to anyone… _grabbing my face,_ like that, that’s all…’’ he said slowly, moving backwards as he stood up to clear the table. Lunch was over.

,,Oh, I… didn’t know that was a problem,’’ he said quietly. ,,You didn’t want to look at me.’’

,,It’s not a problem, _like that_ ,’’ he tried, refusing to look at the sorcerer again. ,,I’m just… It’s nothing, it’s just me, making things weird,’’ he whispered.

,,Why is it _weird?_ Wasn’t that what you wanted to _hear?_ ’’ he scoffed.

,,As a _young man_ , I wanted that…’’ he tried, suddenly feeling tired. ,,I’m too old for this…’’ he whispered underneath his breath. ,,Look, I’m not saying that I’m doing anything _right_ , I’m just trying to say… That it’s okay if things are hard. I want to help, _to the best of my abilities,_ but _clearly_ , I’m not very skilled at that. And it’s… It’s a little weird to talk about, for me. You _barely_ know me,’’ he tried, feeling his heart race as he collected the dirty plates and silverware.

Nite still sat down, looking at the troll. His expression was hard to read, and it made the troll a little uncomfortable. He feared he pushed Nite, maybe too far, and that he would feel it soon enough.

,,How old are you?’’ Nite asked instead. Seymore was taken aback by the question, and looked dumfounded down at the human.

,,I’m 40… I’ll be 41 next month…’’ he said slowly. Nite scoffed again.

,, _What?_ Then, why did you call yourself _old?_ ’’ he said with a raised brow. ,,You’re _barely_ an adult.’’

Like most species in Aenamo, trolls were considered legally adults when they were 16, but they aged very differently than humans. While their lifespan wasn’t nearly as long as elves, they had long periods of time where they nearly didn’t age. Trolls were considered fully mature when they turned 50, but that was mostly in a setting were they only lived with trolls.

While Seymore knew all that, he had lived with humans for well over 15 years now. He had considered himself an adult a long time ago, even if it sometimes seemed like too much or too rushed for his maturity. He had always been known as mature amongst troll’s, but that didn’t mean he was ready for adulthood like the Madam had expected him to be. Even though the Madam was older than he was, he both looked older than her, and felt like he was much older than other trolls of his age.

,,It’s… It’s not as simple…’’ he tried.

,,I thought you were older than my mother,’’ he said slowly, looking intensely at him again. ,,The scars don’t help either, I guess. They make you seem older than you actually are…’’ he continued, mostly for himself.

Seymore didn’t answer, he just took out the plates. When he heard Nite stand up, he hoped the young man would just go back to his studies, or _whatever_ he wanted to do, and to leave him alone for a while. But of course, Nite chose to follow the troll.

,,You can’t just _leave_ while I talk to you!’’ he said sternly. ,,We’re nearly the same age!’’ The last part was said in an almost chipperly way. Seymore looked back at the sorcerer, who really seemed to mean that.

,,No, we’re _not_ ,’’ he said sternly. ,,Physiologically, maybe. But I’ve still lived for much longer than you. That forms a person, you know?’’ he tried, but Nite didn’t seem to listen.

,,It would be like… If you were human, that you were a couple of years older than I, right?’’ he said, ignoring Seymore’s corrections.

,, _No_. And why do you know so much about trolls, anyway?’’ he said irritated.

Nite suddenly seemed like he didn’t have an answer. He looked at the troll for a long time, as if he tried to come up with a good excuse. Seymore wasn’t prepared for the long wait, and most of all, he just wanted to clean the kitchen and do the dishes.

,,I, ahm… _I don’t know_ , actually. I have books about almost any species, long forgotten ones, and big, heavy books about native species in the West, but… I read up on it when you moved to the basement. I… As you said, I barely know _you_ , but I don’t know much about trolls, in general…’’ he said, almost flustered. Seymore’s gaze softened a little.

,,… That makes sense…’’ he said slowly, as he finally began to clean the dishes. ,,But, you know… You don’t have to read about it… You can just ask, if it is,’’ he tried. But Nite shrugged, putting his hands behind his back as he studied the older man anew.

,,No, I don’t think I could. I don’t know why, but I feel like you wouldn’t be honest with me,’’ he said bluntly. Seymore looked at him, a little hurt by his comment, but mostly confused. ,,I think that might be the difference between us, troll. You don’t like to play all your cards at once. But my cards are see-through. Because I don’t know how to keep things to myself,’’ he said quietly. Then he left.

Seymore had never heard Nite talk like that. Nite was direct, _educated_ , but at the same time naïve and without shame in the words he spoke. He was completely right, but he had never thought the young sorcerer would phrase it this way.

For some reason, he wanted to tell Nite that; that he was _right_. He wanted to run after him, and maybe clear up the misunderstandings. But Seymore also knew that he was tired, a little too caught up in his emotions, and that it was unclever to push Nite too far. After all, this was a pretty good progress, he thought.

Once Seymore was done cleaning the dishes and the kitchen, he fled to the main part of the castle anew. He needed space, and there would still be some hours before he could start cooking dinner. Talking about his past, even this vaguely, exhausted him beyond what he had imagined it would.

It made him uncomfortable that Nite looked at him as a young man. That had been his greatest defense, he thought. Although 40 wasn’t much, anyway, he had thought that Nite would view him as an adult, and, at least, have _some_ kind of respect for him. That was wishful thinking, he knew that, and now that idea was out of the window.

He didn’t exactly know why it made him so uncomfortable. Maybe because he had spent over a decade adapting to adulthood, long before he was supposed to? It felt like every time he talked with Nite, he learned something new or got his world views challenged, and he wasn’t sure he wanted _Nite_ to be the one doing that.

For the first time since he left for the Center Isles, he felt stupid. Amongst trolls, Seymore was rather intelligent. He wasn’t stupid compared to other species, either, but he wasn’t as educated as most was in the Center Isles. Maybe Nite poked to his fragile ego, in ways he hadn’t expected.

As he was on his way back to the kitchen, to get started on making dinner, he suddenly heard a loud bang, what most resembled an explosion. He hurried back, just in time to see smoke, before his heart dropped. But when he turned the corner, there were nothing to see, except a very pleased Nite, grinning from ear to ear, although his face was covered in black dust.

,,What happened?’’ Seymore asked. The sorcerer dusted himself off, as he looked down at the basement chamber.

,,Stairs,’’ he said proudly. It took Seymore a minute, before he realized what Nite meant. Then he began to chuckle, first lightly and then much, much more. Like he hadn’t laughed like this in years. It didn’t startle Nite, he simply just joined, so visibly proud of himself.

,,Thank you, sir. I knew you could do it,’’ he said kindly, looking down into the basement chamber. And there were, indeed, stairs. With time, it _would_ help him, that he didn’t have to crawl out of the chamber by the ladder. ,,It even looks cohesive with the rest of the castle,’’ he said.

,,I _know!_ ’’ he beamed. ,,Maybe there’s a little dirty down in the room, but otherwise, nothing broke!’’ he smiled.

,,Do you break stuff often?’’ he asked curiously as he inspected the stairs. Nite shrugged, before he followed the troll down the staircase.

,, _No_ , only when I try to manifest things. It’s harder than making light or manipulating things there’s already there,’’ he explained. ,,Okay, maybe I _do_ make things explode, frequently. It depends on many things…’’ he said slowly. The room was dark, and it was hard to read Nite without being able to see his face.

,,In any case, I’m very impressed, sir,’’ he said kindly. Although he couldn’t see him, he could hear Nite chipper away at the other side of the room. ,,Now I can bring back my stuff. Might wait until after dinner, but that’s alright. Again, thank you very much,’’ he said, as he walked up the stairs again.

Nite was still visible proud when they were back in the hallway. It occurred to him, that he maybe wasn’t used to getting praise like this. He had always expected the Madam to be proud of Nite’s achievements, at least, because that was what she mostly talked about, when the topic of her son came up in conversations.

Just as carelessly as the night Willa had announced she would take her leave, Seymore placed a hand on the young man’s shoulder. He smiled kindly, when Nite first seemed confused about the gesture, before getting flustered.

,,It’s alright. This is actually a pretty simple way to appreciate each other, for trolls. We don’t really have words like ‘thank you’ or ‘I understand’. But we let each other know, like this, that we’re thankful, and that we’re here,’’ he explained, before removing his hand again.

,,I… didn’t know that…’’ Nite said slowly.

,,Maybe I _can_ teach you a thing or two,’’ he smiled. ,,But I’m sure you could teach me many things, as well. I have to go now. I need to start cooking dinner. But again, thank you, sir,’’ he said as he turned around.

He stopped when Nite, suddenly and roughly, grabbed his hand with both of his own. It surprised him, so he spun around to meet the unexpected, unsure eyes of the sorcerer.

,,Is… everything alright…?’’ he asked slowly.

,,I… I can’t reach properly…’’ he whispered, as his hold in the troll’s hand got a little tighter. ,,You’re too tall.’’

,,Oh,’’ he chuckled, but instead of leaning down for him, he simply grabbed Nite’s hands as well, squeezing them lightly. ,,That’s alright, sir. It doesn’t _have_ to be the shoulder. I couldn’t reach my siblings properly, either. I used to grab their forearm,’’ he said kindly.

They stood like this for a second too long, before Seymore slowly pulled his hand away, smiling calmly as he did so. Nite still looked a little flustered, but he didn’t object the gesture.

,,I, uhm… You have very warm hands,’’ Nite said slowly, before he turned around, just as sudden as he had grabbed the troll, leaving him alone in the hallway again.

Seymore shrugged and smiled, before carrying on with his tasks.

Maybe trolls weren’t very physical with things like hugs and such, and maybe they weren’t great with words either, but Seymore had been used to vastly different kinds of lives than how he lived at the castle. Although brute force was much of his physical contact during the old days, trolls expressed themselves much more physical than they did in the Center Isles. When he had moved there, he learned how to talk properly and how to express himself with words, rather than just grabbing onto people.

He had somewhat expected that Nite knew about all this, because he was so well-read. But he also understood why the sudden touch could feel unwelcomed, especially because Nite still saw him as nothing but his servant.

And he _was_ nothing but his servant, he reminded himself. He didn’t need to be anything else, anyway, he told himself. If he could just reach a point where he wasn’t uncomfortable with Nite, that would be more than enough…

Days went by and turned into weeks. Seymore tried chatting with Nite the times their way crossed each other, but when his mother had written about her journey, it became harder to connect to him again. The young man isolated himself for a couple of days, before he finally got back into his study chamber. He still didn’t speak with Seymore, and mostly ignored him at dinner, snapping if the troll tried to push too hard with conversations.

,,I don’t _care_ about small talk!’’ he had said, slamming his door behind him. ,,I’m _tired_. _Go away_. I’ll join you for dinner tomorrow, _I promise_.’’ But he didn’t keep up his word.

When Nite _finally_ got into his study chamber, Seymore didn’t want to disturb him or set him off, but he also _really_ needed to make sure that Nite _actually_ ate his food. He tried bribing him, baking sweet biscuits for him, as well as getting tea ready, before he knocked on the heavy door. He had _seen_ the study chamber before, but not when Nite had been in there, and usually, the sorcerer would want to be left alone when he read.

,,Young Master? I don’t mean to disturb, but I wanted to bring you tea,’’ he tried as he knocked. He knocked twice, before he heard Nite move around from the inside. When he opened the door, he didn’t look particular happy.

,,I don’t want tea,’’ he said bluntly, before he looked at the tray. As far as Seymore could tell, he _did_ want the cakes. ,,… There’s two cups,’’ he noted.

,,I hoped… you would join me for tea,’’ he tried. Seymore subtly looked around. The room was a mess, books and papers everywhere. It was hard to tell which books where old and which was ruined, but it wasn’t important right now.

In the middle of the room was what mostly resembled a throne; carved in stone, red pillows on the backrest and seat. It looked beautiful. Like the only thing that really made sense in the room of chaos. Books, kettles and bottles were placed around the room, in shelfs, on the desk, in the corner as well. But in all the disorder, the throne stood sturdily.

Nite didn’t notice that Seymore looked around. He debated with himself if he should let the troll in or not, but at last he opened the heavy door fully, making room for Seymore to enter.

,,Okay. But _only_ because of the biscuits!’’ he said hastily as he sat down on the desk. Seymore sat on the chair instead, preparing plates and cups for each of them.

,,That’s fair, sir,’’ he smiled, handing Nite his plate. He took a sip of tea himself, as Nite began to eat with a delight the troll hadn’t seen before. ,,They’re good?’’ he asked, and the sorcerer nodded wildly. ,,That’s nice.’’

,,Don’t misunderstand me,’’ he began, as he ate the last bite of his biscuit, ,,but I have this feeling you’re not here _just_ because you suddenly got a desire to bake sweets,’’ he said. ,,So, why _are_ you here?’’

,,I miss talking with you, sir,’’ he tried, but Nite scoffed.

,,I don’t see _why_ you would,’’ he mumbled. ,,I _know_ you’re here, because my mother told you to. She _demanded_ that I stopped being difficult and at least _tried_ to be civil with you,’’ he scoffed. Seymore’s ears perked up and he looked confused at the young man.

,,I actually think you _were_ doing that, already,’’ he said. Nite looked back at him again, shrugging as he took another biscuit. ,,I haven’t talked with your mother about you mistreating me. Is… Is that why you’ve avoided me?’’ he asked calmly, but Nite just shook his head.

,,Well, it’s part of it… I guess she has censors at the castle that alerts her when things explode. Maybe that’s why she thought I was being mean to you?’’ he said slowly. ,,Am I being mean to you? I don’t always know,’’ he said, looking back at the troll again.

,,No. I think you’re doing your best not to be so, at least,’’ he said calmly. ,,You… don’t notice when you say something hurtful? Or scare someone?’’ he asked calmly. Nite shook his head again.

,,Not always. I haven’t really met many people, so I just guessed my mother was hard to read. I’m not really sure if you’re hard to read, yet,’’ he admitted. ,,I don’t really like to think about that you’re here, just because she has _ordered_ you to be here, you know? But at the same time, you wouldn’t really have a reason to be here, if that wasn’t how it was,’’ he said slowly.

,,I wasn’t very pleased with the situation at first, no,’’ he said truthfully. ,,But I believe in making the best out of the situation. I don’t _dislike_ the situation, now. But I feel I’m better at cleaning, for myself, than making sure you’re alright,’’ he chuckled lightly. ,,I’ll tell you if I write to her, in the future,’’ he tried, making the younger man seem satisfied.

Nite was still sitting on the table, making him slightly taller than the troll slumping on the chair. It surprised Seymore when he felt Nite’s cold, light hand on his shoulder, the young man looking curious down at the troll. Without really thinking about it, Seymore reached up to squeeze his hand, just for a second before letting go.

,,Thank you, sir,’’ he smiled warmly.

,,You don’t have to call me _sir_ or _Master_ or any of that. Nite is _fine_ ,’’ he said as he ate yet another biscuit.

,,I feel better that way,’’ he admitted. ,,I tended to call the other employees miss or Mr. as well,’’ he said. Nite stopped in a motion, thinking about it for a while.

,,Can I _order_ you to call me Nite, instead?’’ he smirked. Seymore was about to decline, but he just sighed and nodded. ,, _Good_.’’ He took another bite. ,,I’m no _sir_. Maybe I’m the _Greenlight_ at the castle, but I have no authority,’’ he said slowly.

,,Maybe not, but what would you use it for, anyway?’’ Seymore asked. The young man shrugged, then suddenly smiled again.

,,I would have you make me cakes every day,’’ he smirked. It looked like he reached for the biscuits again, but he took the cup instead. ,,What would I do, if I had control over the castle? Leave it? Maybe? I would probably get back again, at some point,’’ he said softly, the weird, dreamy gaze back in his eyes.

,,But what would you do _in_ the castle?’’ Seymore tried instead. He cleared out some space on the desk, before he sat down beside the young man, placing the tray on the chair instead.

,,I _don’t know_. What do people my age normally do when they’re home alone?’’ he asked with a grimace.

,,They invite over girls,’’ Seymore chuckled, making the sorcerer blush slightly. ,,It was a joke, sir-, I mean… _Nite_. It was just a joke,’’ he tried apologetic. They were silent for a moment, before Nite looked up at the troll again.

,,… Did you do that as well?’’ he asked slowly.

,,Well, I were rarely home alone. But when I got my own place, when I moved away… Then, sometimes, I did…’’ he tried, suddenly regretting the topic. Nite looked at him as if he didn’t believe the troll, startling Seymore for a moment. ,,What is it?’’

,,I don’t know… For some reason I just… didn’t think girls would catch your interest…’’ he shrugged. ,,I think… I think my mother said something, once, but I’m not sure,’’ he said.

,,Oh…’’ For some reason, that made a chill down his spine. He had never told the Madam why he left his home, neither why he left the Center Isles, but he _did_ know that she suspected that he liked men. It just hadn’t seemed like a problem for her. If so, why would she had taken him in for all these years? But if she talked with her son about it, making remarks about his mannerisms or interests… then he suddenly was unsure what she _really_ thought about matters like these. Besides, he had been forbidden to take care of Nite when he was younger, but he had thought it was for his own best…

,,I… didn’t mean to offend you…’’ Nite said, looking into the air. ,,This is what I mean. I say stuff _like this_ , and I don’t actually _know_ if you’re offended… or sad, or if you’re _angry_ , or-,’’ he said, but Seymore gently cut him off.

,,I’m not offended, Nite,’’ he said calmly. ,,I do like women. But, your mother is right in believing that I like men, as well,’’ he said. ,,I just didn’t think she would… talk with you, about me, with such personal matters, that’s all,’’ he said.

Nite was quiet for a time, but Seymore could feel that he stared at him. He didn’t want to talk about such personal things with Nite, but he had no reason to hide it, either. If Nite had assumed he liked men before, it shouldn’t affect how he looked at him now, he thought.

,,You can do that?’’ the sorcerer asked instead. It caught Seymore off guard, and when he looked back at Nite, his eyes were big and wondering.

,,… Can do what?’’ he asked surprised.

,,You can like _both?_ You don’t have to _choose?_ ’’ he asked, with an interest Seymore had rarely seen in the young man.

,,What? Yes, it’s fine if you like both men and women. No one can force you to choose,’’ he said cautiously. ,,… You’ve never talked with your mother about stuff like that?’’

,,Of _course_ not. I don’t talk about such… _stuff_ with her,’’ he scoffed. ,,I just… I always assumed I would… just grow out of it,’’ he then said, a little softer, but clearly meant for the troll’s ears. It surprised the troll that Nite wanted to talk with _him_ about it, but not his own mother. ,,I mean… I _know_ , or… _I’m pretty sure_ , that I like girls… But sometimes, when I read about boys or such, then it…’’ he tried, but his voice died down.

,,There’s nothing wrong with that,’’ Seymore smiled, trying his best to assure the young man. ,,It doesn’t change _who_ you are, by who you like.’’ Nite nodded, still looking right in front of himself, seemingly wondering about the whole ordeal.

,,Is… Is that why you’re here? I mean, not _here_ , in the room, but here at the castle?’’ he asked slowly.

,,… Somewhat,’’ he said with a grimace. ,,It’s because I’m bisexual that I can’t go back to my village. My relationship with my parents were rocky from start, but they couldn’t accept that my former lover was a man,’’ he explained. He was surprised when Nite looked at him again, rather intensely, but it was hard to read the young man.

,,They disowned you for being… what did you call it, bisexual?’’ he asked cautiously. He nodded slowly, suddenly catching the nervousness in the sorcerer’s voice.

,,It was only a matter of time before they did so, anyway. For trolls, it’s all about making families. And… they didn’t believe I could do so, with a man. If I couldn’t have my own, biological children, then they would be no children of mine, in their eyes…’’ he said slowly.

They were both silent for a moment. Seymore tried to calm his nerves, telling himself it was alright to be this open with Nite. Nite did try his best at being open with Seymore as well, so why wouldn’t he grant him the same?

It hurt to talk about stuff like this. He didn’t want to think of his parents or _coming out_ … or the man he once called his lover. He didn’t want to remember the ice blue eyes, that still haunted him far too often. He didn’t want to think about what the pixie was up to now, or who he was with…

,,What happened to him?’’ Nite suddenly asked. ,,Your lover. What happened, since you’re here?’’ he asked softly.

,,… It’s complicated…’’ he said slowly. ,,In the end, we weren’t a good match…’’ he continued.

,,Why?’’ he asked way too fast.

,,I don’t… want to talk about that, Nite…’’ he said, a pained expression across his face. It seemed to startle him a lot more than Seymore had anticipated, so he tried to smile the pain away. ,,It’s alright. It was a long time ago,’’ he said.

,,I didn’t mean to pry…’’ he said. ,,It’s just… I don’t understand that sort of stuff, I guess.’’ He took another biscuit, after he had barely touched his tea, but Seymore didn’t mind. He could always make a new batch of sweets, if Nite ate all of them. ,,Is it common? To like men _and_ women?’’ he asked. ,,I’ve never heard about it before. But normally, I read about magic or history. There aren’t many descriptions about how their love life were, except when they have offspring.’’

,,That’s a good question,’’ he said slowly. ,,It’s not very common in the West or many parts of the East. But they are fairly openminded in South and in the Center Isles,’’ he said slowly. ,,I don’t know about up North. Haven’t really met anyone from there,’’ he shrugged.

,,Do you think…’’ he said, breathing heavily at this point, ,,that my mother would cut me off, too, if she knew it?’’ His eyes seemed blank, all of a sudden, but Seymore was unsure if Nite was hopeful or scared about this thought.

,,I don’t know. I wish I could tell you,’’ he said calmly. ,,Can I ask you… Do you really want to get out of the castle _so_ badly, that you would rather have her throw you out?’’ Nite jerked his head in the troll’s direction, looking mortified up at Seymore.

,,What? _No!_ Is that what you think?’’ he asked hastily. ,,No, I just don’t want to… disappoint her,’’ he said defeated. ,,She can make me so _furious_ , but… this is… all I know… If I couldn’t go back… then, where would I go?’’ His voice shook, as he looked down again.

,,I understand that feeling,’’ he said quietly. ,,I don’t know how your mother would react. I wish I could say that it shouldn’t matter, but… I know it does. I was fortunate enough to not live at home when I came out, but in the end, the outcome was the same,’’ he said slowly. ,,I’m not trying to say your concerns are less serious… And I’m not trying to condemn you from being open and honest, but you don’t _have_ to tell her, if you’re not ready or if you’re scared she would throw you out,’’ he said slowly.

,,I guess not,’’ he said, lowering the biscuit in his hand. ,,It’s not really important that she knows, is it? Like, if I don’t _bring home_ anyone, she won’t notice, anyway,’’ he said. ,,Did you always know? That you liked men and women?’’ he asked, looking back at the troll again.

,,Ah, no. I was about 20, I think, when I started to date my former lover. Before that, I’d only ever had interests in girls,’’ he smiled awkwardly. ,,In a way… I think you’re very lucky, to experience such things, this young. I was never ‘confused’ about whether I liked girls or not, I just never took men as an option, before that,’’ he explained.

,,That’s some time ago,’’ he said bluntly. ,,I guess… it makes sense? I don’t know, maybe at some point I _will_ grow out of it, but I… I’ve just always felt like this, I think,’’ he shrugged.

,,If you do grow out of it, it’s fine too,’’ Seymore smiled. ,,I mean, no one can dictate who you like.’’

Nite grabbed the last biscuit, when he realized that Seymore hadn’t had any yet, but the troll just took another sip of his tea.

,,You didn’t want any?’’ he asked, hesitating to eat, but Seymore just shook his head.

,,I’ll be honest, I mostly wanted to check if you were alright,’’ he said. ,,I can always bake another batch, at another time,’’ he said, and Nite happily nodded. ,,How are you feeling? Everything considered?’’ he said. Nite looked at the ceiling, shrugging slightly.

,,A little tired. It’s _hard_ to talk to others than yourself,’’ he said bluntly. ,,But I guess… I don’t feel _bad_ right now. I really thought you had told my mother, that I was being difficult. And although I still rather just _be on my own_ … It’s actually not _bad_ that you’re here. You know?’’ he said, looking slightly at the troll again.

,,Yerh. I get it,’’ he said. ,,Thank you for trusting me,’’ he said, resting his heavy hand on the sorcerers shoulder. This time, Nite reached up to grab Seymore’s hand, but held it a little longer than the troll had done prier.

,,You have so many scars,’’ Nite said softly, moving Seymore’s hand in his to better look at it. ,,I didn’t do that, did I?’’ he asked.

,,No,’’ Seymore said. ,,Just scars from work. I’m not that careful, anymore, and I rarely let your mother heal me. I don’t really like the feeling,’’ he admitted. Nite’s gaze wandered from the troll’s hand, to his face, taking in all the scars, it seemed.

,,But I did _that_ , didn’t I?’’ he asked, pointing at Seymore’s face. The troll nodded slightly, before he gently removed his hand from Nite’s. ,,I don’t remember it clearly. For a long time, I thought it was a dream,’’ he said slowly.

,,You were very young. And once again, I didn’t let your mother heal me. The scars are irreversible, not only because of the time they’ve been there, but also because they were made with magic. Besides, it’s not my scars I’m most self-conscious about, it’s my-.’’

,,Tusks, right?’’ Nite interrupted, and Seymore nodded. ,,I wondered if they were like that, because of your height. I guess not,’’ he said slowly, picking up the tea cup again. The tea was nearly cold, but that didn’t seem to bother him. ,,I like learning about new things. Can you teach me more about trolls?’’ he asked.

,,… But trolls don’t have any magic… Would that be useful for you?’’ he said slowly, making Nite grimace.

,, _You_ said that if I had any questions, that I could just ask you? Remember?’’ Seymore did faintly remember saying something like that.

,,Okay, okay, you’re right. I will tell you more about trolls, at some point,’’ he smiled, putting down his own empty cup. ,,Not to be a party pooper, but I have to get dinner started. But I assure you, it’s nicer for me to talk with you, than when you ignore me. If you write back to your, you can tell her that,’’ he smiled as he gathered the plates and cups onto the tray.

,,You’re always working,’’ Nite said with a sigh.

,,You’re always studying,’’ he smiled.

,,That’s not the same. That’s _interesting_ , at least,’’ he said with a grin.

,,I like to cook. That’s an interest of mine,’’ he explained. ,,Maybe not _cleaning_ , in the same amount, but I don’t mind it.’’

,, _Huh_. You’re a _weird_ troll, you know that?’’ he grinned. Seymore could tell that despite the rather harsh tone, Nite meant nothing bad with it.

,,Someone have told me that, once or twice,’’ he said lightly. ,,It’s nice to see you smile again, sir,’’ he said, ready to take his leave.

,,I’m not _smiling_ ,’’ he scoffed, but he could barely hide the grin on his lips. ,,And don’t call me _sir_ , it’s not necessary,’’ he said.

,,I’ll try to remember that,’’ he assured him. ,,You don’t have to call me ‘troll’, either.’’ Nite was taken aback by this, seemingly not figuring that it went both ways. His browbone furrowed and he looked almost nervous. ,,What? You _do_ know my name, right?’’ he chuckled.

,,Yes, _of course_ I do, that’s not it. But I don’t think my mother pronounces it correctly. She drags it out, making it sound more like _Saymur,_ and that… it just doesn’t sound very troll-ish, you know?’’ Seymore smiled, opening the door and gesturing for Nite to come with him, as he carried the tray.

,,Well, she _does_ say it kind of weird, I guess. It’s _Seymore_ , as in ‘sea’ and ‘more’, it’s actually pretty straight forward. It’s not a common troll name, anyway,’’ he said. ,,You know, I would have survived, even if you pronounced it like your mother,’’ he said.

,,Yerh, probably. But I, ahm… I don’t like the sound of my own name… Maybe that’s why I’m a little more cautious about it?’’ he wondered.

Seymore was about to ask Nite _why_ he didn’t like his name, when the young man just turned around and left mid conversation. The troll looked after him for a moment, before he shrugged and found his way back to the kitchen.

As he wondered if it would always feel so intense and _abrupt_ with their conversations, he smiled as it occurred to him, that Nite actually _had_ left a biscuit for him. It tasted just as sweet as he had hoped.


	3. 3) Thank you

He caught himself daydreaming a lot more now, than before. He had kept his fantasies to his private times at night, but now it was hard to focus throughout the day. Suddenly, he would remember a certain noise or a certain movement, and it would all flood back to him, like some distant dream he once had.

But it wasn’t a dream, and it wasn’t distant. Although Nite didn’t come to his room _every_ night, he woke up less alone than he had done in a long time.

When they had started, it had all been to please Nite, he had thought. Nite wasn’t caring, he didn’t have much interest in sharing or pleasing, so it had surprised him when the young man _wanted_ to return the favor. He obviously didn’t _mind_ that, but Seymore often got confused by _why_ he would do so.

As soon as Nite came, he would be all over the troll. As if he just needed a quick release himself, but his _real_ project was the troll. It made Seymore all kinds of tingly to think about.

Nite gave him desires he hadn’t had before. Although he had mostly been with men, he had never topped before. It hadn’t been possible, they said, or they just weren’t interested. Although Seymore was a small troll, in all aspects, his lover had been a _pixie_ , fairly smaller than even Nite himself was. Most of Seymore’s partners had either been much smaller than himself, or much bigger, but even the bigger ones hardly had interest in Seymore being the top.

He didn’t mind that, that much. He liked being the bottom, as he liked sex in general. But for some reason, that wasn’t his desire with Nite.

So far, Nite had copied every act Seymore had done to him; handjobs, blowjobs, every touch he had copied, and even touched Seymore in places he didn’t know was sensitive on his body.

But when Seymore carefully had touched Nite’s ass, he didn’t reciprocate it. He was in no doubt that Nite _liked_ being touched there, because ever since he started, that was how he preferred to come. Nite wouldn’t beg, he would barely ask, but he would guide Seymore’s hands or _demand_ to be filled with the troll’s thick fingers.

Although Seymore hadn’t asked Nite if he wanted to touch him likewise, he didn’t feel the need to do so, either. Sure, he had _expected_ Nite to touch him like that, just like all the other times he had been introduced to something new. But when he didn’t, he didn’t feel like he missed out on anything.

What he _did_ have a problem with, was that he suddenly _really_ wanted to be inside Nite, and not only with his fingers. Sure, he had really wanted to be inside his lover as well, but they had never made it work out for them. He wouldn’t have minded Nite to be inside him, either, but he had a hard time seeing that as a possibility.

As time had passed, it became harder and harder to control himself around the human, but he desperately didn’t want to hurt or scare the young man. In his own way, Nite was good to him. And if the sorcerer ever wanted to be inside him, Seymore was sure he would let him know.

The troll had a hard time admitting to himself how much he wanted this. He felt _filthy_. He _was_ filthy. Nite was still so much younger, and even if it wasn’t really an issue, Seymore still felt weird, betraying the Madam’s trust in him. He was very well aware that she hadn’t meant ‘while I’m gone, can you _fuck_ my son, and maybe talk to him once in a while?’, and dreaded what she would do or say if she ever found out.

Would she even care? Seymore was unsure, actually. Maybe she would throw him out, maybe she would throw _both_ of them out, or maybe she would just go about her ways as usual. In any case, he didn’t want to cause trouble for Nite, and he couldn’t _imagine_ that this would better his relationship with his mother.

But guilt and shame weren’t enough for him to fully end his perverted relation with Nite. He had explained it with the need for touch, or the sudden gentleness was a stepping stone for Nite further on, but when everything was said and done, Seymore was afraid to fall for Nite. He was afraid to end their relation too, afraid that it would mess up the trust they had build together, but mostly afraid he would never wake up again with the human snoring by his side.

Seymore was a selfish troll, he reminded himself. Simple and selfish, unable to help himself. Unable to help Nite.

He sat down the bucket, looking down at himself. It was undoubtedly noticeable through his old, loose pants that his mind had wandered south. Ashamed, he went to the nearest bathroom, trying to calm down himself, but to no avail.

He would just have to hurry, he told himself. He could be quick, if he just worked himself up enough. But all his normal go-to fantasies weren’t as exciting as thinking about how he much rather would feel Nite’s hand than his own. How he would prefer to hear the sorcerer moan against his hard cock. How _badly_ , _desperately_ he wanted to fuck Nite, to see his face twist in pleasure and pain, to hear him _moan_ so loudly, the castle walls would barely be able to handle it…

… ,,I don’t mind staying home, sir,’’ he said as he served dinner; as the young man had requested, _pie_ , with lots of vegetables so finely chopped that he would probably not even notice it, or so Seymore hoped.

,,Well I can take care of myself for a couple of days, if that’s your concern,’’ he said, doubtingly tasting the pie. After a few chews, he seemed genuinely surprised. ,,That’s not _bad!_ ’’ he smiled, before he looked sternly at Seymore again. ,,And don’t call me _sir_ , Seymore,’’ he corrected him.

,,My apologies. Old habits die hard,’’ he said. ,,I’m glad you like the pie.’’

,,Don’t change the subject. I’m _allowing_ you to go out on your birthday. Just like you’re used to,’’ he said. Seymore regretted telling Nite about his yearly trip, where the Madam would allow him to go out for a few nights in a row, taking an usually needed break from his chores.

,,It’s very kind of you, but it’s really quite alright,’’ he admitted. He didn’t expect the Madam would appreciate him leaving Nite alone, and he didn’t expect her to remember his birthday would come and go, while she was gone.

,,You’re just being troublesome,’’ he said as he rolled his eyes. ,,I _promise_ not to leave the castle. Besides, don’t you _ever_ need alone time?’’ he asked.

,,Of course, but I can wait. Besides, there’s still a couple of weeks to my birthday,’’ he said. Nite mumbled something underneath his breath, but Seymore didn’t press the issue further.

He ate in silence for a while, as Seymore took care of minor stuff in the kitchen. He could still hear the sorcerer in the other room, wondering why Nite so obsessively wanted him to go away.

,,I’m done eating,’’ he declared, as he suddenly stood beside the troll again, handing him his plate. ,,It actually wasn’t that bad. I still prefer meat pies. Or cherry pies, they are the best,’’ he said enthusiastically, as Seymore began to wash the plate. ,,But it was nice enough,’’ he shrugged with a faint smile.

,,Thank you,’’ he smiled, waiting for the sorcerer to leave so he could eat himself. ,,I will remember that for future reference.’’

,,Seymore, why won’t you go out for your birthday? Don’t you _trust_ that I will stay?’’ he asked bluntly. The troll stopped in a motion, before he turned to look clearly at the young man beside him.

,,My birthday isn’t that important to me. I usually just camp in some woods for a couple of nights, drink a little by myself, and then return home. Your mother has never forbidden me to leave the castle, I can leave whenever I want, I usually just don’t have the energy to do so in the evenings,’’ he explained.

,,You’re _only_ staying because my mother isn’t here,’’ he said sharply. Seymore paused for a moment, before he smiled again.

,,Yes. Because this year, I don’t _have_ to spend my birthday alone. And I wouldn’t have had company, if it wasn’t for the fact that your mother had ordered me to guard you,’’ he said softly, making the young man seem rather flustered. ,,Of course you don’t _have to_ spend the day with me. But for once, I can expect a little more social interaction than the other birthdays I’ve had, for a long time.’’

,,No, _uhm_ , that’s alright…’’ he said slowly. ,,I didn’t know… I thought you’d rather go out… I _assumed_ you were with friends or family… Not _all_ alone,’’ he tried.

,,That’s alright, Nite. You couldn’t know, I don’t talk about stuff like that very often,’’ he smiled. ,,I don’t really like to be out around people,’’ he explained. ,,I don’t feel very comfortable with that, anymore.’’

,,Why is that?’’ he asked, regaining his normal posture again.

,,Well there’s lots of reasons. Mainly because I mostly socialize sparsely with your mother, now you. With time, I simply just… isolated myself too much, I guess…’’ he said slowly as he returned his focus to the dirty dishes in the sink. ,,I don’t really have friends or family I have contact with, anymore.’’

,, _None?_ ’’ he asked surprised and Seymore shook his head.

,,My sister writes me every once in a while, but no one else,’’ he sighed. ,,And I don’t really want to spend time with her, either way. I wish her all best, but our lives are just _so_ different.’’

The young man looked like he was deep in thoughts. Seymore wished he would go back to his studies, so he would be able to get his chores done. He just wanted to eat, read for a while, before heading to bed, but it was hard with Nite present in the room.

,,What do you want for your birthday?’’ he finally said. _A door_ , his mind shouted. It was hard to get any _private matters_ done with an open space like the basement chamber was.

,,You don’t have to give me anything,’’ he assured him.

,,No, I _know_ that, but I _want_ to give you something!’’ he said stubbornly. _Five minutes for myself_ , his mind chimed in. But he couldn’t say that, either.

,,I’m sure you’ll find something. I’ll be happy for whatever you choose,’’ he smiled. Nite pouted as Seymore finished up the dishes. ,,Is there anything else I can do for you? Otherwise, I want to eat.’’

,,Why didn’t you eat when I did?’’ he asked instead.

,,I prefer to eat alone,’’ he shrugged.

,,Do you prefer to do _everything_ alone?’’ he said mockingly, crossing his arms. ,,I don’t see the big problem. You’ve _said_ I made a lot of progress throughout these weeks. Why aren’t you the same? If _I_ have to get out of my comfort zone, socializing, then why are _you_ still to keep up your old habits?’’ he scoffed.

Seymore was about to answer, when he stopped himself. In some aspects, beside initiating conversations, Seymore was still very much set in his old ways. And Nite _did_ try his best, both in understanding basic emotions, and trying to understand Seymore _specifically_ , so why wouldn’t he give it his all?

,,I’ll eat with you tomorrow,’’ he promised. That seemed to please the sorcerer, for now. ,,… But you can give me company while I eat, now, if that pleases you as well,’’ he sighed lightly.

,,No, I want to get back to my studies,’’ he admitted, turned around and was on his way. Their conversations _always_ ended like this, with Nite suddenly just disappearing mid conversation. But with time, it didn’t surprise Seymore as much, and right now he was thankful that he could eat his dinner alone.

Why Seymore had mentioned his upcoming birthday, was beyond himself. Maybe he was too comfortable with Nite, at this point, not really thinking about the topics he brought up and which questions Nite could ask. It had surprised him that Nite so _adamantly_ had wanted him to take a break. If it was meant as a nice gesture, or if Nite was up to antics, was a little harder to tell.

Despite the Madam’s fears, Nite hadn’t tried to escape the castle, not even once. Not as far as Seymore knew, at least. The young man had his daily routines that he rarely strayed from, and it was normally easy to keep an eye on him, even when they weren’t in the same room.

But Nite would still comment from time to time on the fact that he couldn’t leave the castle, frustrated with why that was the case, and it delayed his studies, it seemed. Most of his frustrations was either from his house arrest or his lacking progress with his studies, and Seymore couldn’t help him with either.

Maybe that was why he tried to change the subject, to mundane things like Nite’s distaste in vegetables, how he would like to help clean the sorcerers study chamber, or his own birthday. It seemed to be the best strategy, to distract the young man, at the times where things just weren’t going in his favor.

Seymore finished up his dinner and finished up his chores, while he thought about the last month or so. Normally, the Madam would be on her way home, but this time, she would be gone for months to come. He didn’t feel as anxious of the thought as he had assumed, but Nite wasn’t as difficult to be around as he had expected, either. The young man was lonely, and where Seymore had thought he had isolated himself by free will, Nite simply didn’t feel comfortable around his housemates.

But now he did, he guessed? Although Nite wasn’t always _chipper_ at the site of Seymore, he didn’t try to hex the troll in his sleep, and he wasn’t outright cruel in any way.

The hallway was the only place Seymore really bothered lighting up candles in the evening. They didn’t really use the main part of the castle at this point, and Seymore simply got his chores done throughout the day, while there was still daylight. As he finished up his day, he put out the candles, so they wouldn’t burn out every night.

He groaned loudly as he felt the warm, hot wax on his hand. He had been absent minded as he did his chores, but now his rough, moss green skin was blistered and red. He swore loudly, but kept blowing the candles out.

,,What happened?’’ Seymore turned around, surprised to see the young man stare up at him. He hadn’t been aware of how loudly he had spoken in the hallway.

,,I’m sorry if I disturbed you. I just burned myself,’’ he explained as he turned around to continue his work.

,,You’re a very clumsy troll, aren’t you?’’ Nite asked slowly. ,,Let me see your hand.’’

,,What? No, _why?_ ’’ he asked hastily, turning around again, just in time as Nite rolled his eyes.

,,Because I’m going to _heal_ you, of course. I _know_ you don’t like it, but there’s _no_ reason for you to run around with a burned hand,’’ he said impatiently.

,,I would rather just have the burn,’’ he said, but Nite didn’t seem satisfied with this.

,,Give me your hand, Seymore,’’ he said sternly. The troll flinched, as he often did when Nite said his name. Maybe it was because the Madam hadn’t pronounced it right for years, that the sound of his _actual_ name was unfamiliar, or maybe it was the way Nite said it, so close to troll language, with only the slightest accent, that made it sound so _welcoming_.

,,… Okay,’’ he said as he slowly gave Nite his hand. Willa always held a hand underneath and one over his burns or bruises, but Nite firmly held his hand in both of his, just like when he said _thank you_ to him. ,,Is this right?’’ he asked nervously.

,, _Of course_ it is,’’ he sneered, but he suddenly looked nervous as well. Then he closed his eyes and Seymore felt a warm breeze of hot air run over his hand. It didn’t feel as awful as when the Madam did it, but he would still rather just have had the bruise. Nite slowly opened his eyes, smiling proudly at the troll. ,,See? I _said_ it was right!’’

,,That wasn’t so bad,’’ he smiled, looking down at his healed hand. ,,I didn’t know you were a healer.’’

,,Well, I… haven’t done it before,’’ he simply said. Seymore blinked a couple of times, opening his mouth, visibly angry at this point, but Nite interrupted him: ,,Your hand is healed. No reason to shout at me.’’

,,You didn’t even know if it would _work?_ ’’ he bit back.

,,Well, it _did_ , didn’t it?’’ he said irritated.

,,What if you had made it worse?!’’ he yelled. Nite took a step back, surprisingly nervous all of a sudden. Seymore’s anger faded as soon as he watched the young man’s scared eyes. He had never yelled at him before.

,,I just wanted to see, if I could heal. Healing cannot explode, Seymore. The worst that can happen, is that nothing happens,’’ he explained, surprisingly calmly. ,,But you don’t know that, because you don’t know anything about magic. I forgot that.’’

He didn’t say it in a condescending way. His tone was neutral, and although he didn’t really _seem_ sorry, Seymore could tell that he had startled the sorcerer.

,,I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell,’’ Seymore said apologetic. ,,… Thank you for healing me,’’ he smiled. Nite took the troll’s big hand in his own again, looking down at the healed skin.

,,I’m… I’m… _uhm…_ ’’ he tried, but Seymore shook his head.

,,It’s alright, I understand,’’ he said gently. He let Nite hold his hand a little longer than he usually did. He wondered for how long Nite would hold it, if he didn’t pull away, but the young man showed no signs of retreating his hands.

,,Things sometimes explode when I try to manifest them,’’ he explained, still looking at the troll’s hand. ,,Sometimes things fly around and crash when I try to manipulate stuff. And sometimes the fogs from my potions can be unpleasant and sparkles can fly. But healing magic can’t do damage. It’s like… a _reverse_ spell, for me, at least. It obviously works different for others,’’ he said, finally looking at the big, amber eyes again. ,,That’s why I can’t reverse the scars on your face… it’s too long ago since it happened,’’ he said, a slight worry in his mahogany eyes.

,,It’s alright, Nite. I really _don’t_ know anything about magic,’’ he said regretfully. ,,It scares me. And I don’t think it would scare me less, if I knew more about it,’’ he said calmly.

,,Have you ever _tried_ to learn about magic?’’ he asked, almost hopeful. Seymore finally retrieved his hand to himself, startling Nite for a moment.

,,My former lover had some magic. Very light magic, might I add. It didn’t scare me as much, but he didn’t use it much, either,’’ he explained.

,,I thought your lover was a troll?’’ Nite said doubtingly, but Seymore shook his head.

,,He was a pixie.’’ They were both silent for a time, and Seymore tried to look away.

,,… Pixies are very beautiful creatures. You must have been very lucky, to be with such…’’ he said slowly. Seymore didn’t notice at first, but Nite almost sounded _saddened_ by the fact. He was unsure why. Maybe he didn’t find that Seymore _deserved_ to be with a pixie.

,,He was. Beautiful, inside and out,’’ Seymore agreed, a sad smile across his face. ,,I felt very lucky to be with him, when he was mine, and I was his,’’ he said slowly.

,,… What _happened_ then?’’ Nite asked. He had asked before, but just like last time, Seymore just shook his head.

,,I don’t want to talk about that, Nite. It’s not important for you to know about my love life,’’ he said, gently, but firmly as well. Nite didn’t look like he agreed, but he still sighed and nodded as a response.

,,Okay. I will probably ask again, at some point. I’m trying to understand why your eyes get so _sad_ when you talk about him,’’ he explained. Seymore shrugged, and continued his former task with blowing out the candles. ,,Do you want me to leave you alone?’’ he asked.

,,Well, I’m not doing anything particular interesting. I’m just trying to get ready for bed,’’ he said as he finished the last candle. Nite looked down at the basement chamber, the room dark and looming.

,,… Do you like it, down there?’’ he asked doubtingly. Seymore followed his gaze, before nodding slightly.

,,It’s nice. I have more space there, than in my last room,’’ he assured him. _No privacy_ , but Nite didn’t need to worry about that. When he looked up again, Nite had already taken his leave. He sighed, not that upset at this point, just very tired after yet another day.

It _would_ had been nice to get away from the castle for a couple of days, but he guessed he could always do that after the Madam returned home. He didn’t really mind staying either, and maybe he would not even feel as depressed, being here with Nite, instead of by himself in the woods.

He had tried to visit villages around the West the first couple of years he had been at the castle, but it didn’t really do it for him. Every time he went out, it reminded him of why he wanted to be alone. Every passing stranger made him nervous, and he always sat alone, anyway. Escaping in the woods became a tradition for him, and the Madam often gifted him a bottle of wine he took with him on his trip, drinking to his birth-star.

The troll laid down on his mattress, his body sore and tired from another day’s work. He didn’t really mind that, and was just thankful that he could relax for a while.

He had wanted to read, but he had forgotten a candle, so he could barely see anything. He sighed, too tired to get up, so he just laid there, in the dark, closing his eyes.

As so many times before, eyes were taunting him in the dark. The big, ice blue eyes, that felt so warm and familiar, even this many years later. He missed being looked at by them.

_He missed him._

He missed his smile and his laughter. He missed being touched by those long, fair hands. He missed his lips… His tongue, that made him crazy just by the mere sight of it, and the knowledge of what he could do to him with it.

The room was pretty dark, he thought. If he was quiet, then maybe Nite would never know what the troll did. Besides, what was the odds that he would suddenly want to talk _now?_ Nite usually wouldn’t bother him once Seymore had gone down into his chamber for the night.

He let his hands down his body. He was long and bumpy, his stomach big and hard and his legs long and wide. Even through his pants he could feel how _excited_ he was. He had touched himself once or twice since he had moved into the basement chamber, not as often as before, and not at night.

It was a long time since he had laid down, giving himself time to enjoy the sensation and give into his lewd fantasies. When he finally pulled down his pants, the air felt cold against his glans, which already was wet and ready to play.

He couldn’t remember the last time he had been _this_ hard. His cock was over 10 inches, but he usually didn’t get rock hard. He didn’t dislike being big and soft, it was often easier for others to manage, although a little harder if he wanted to get inside a partner. But now he was so hard that his foreskin squeezed him, begging for him to touch himself.

With closed eyes, he began stroking his cock. It didn’t take him long before he imagined how it felt with his former lover on top of him, stroking his dick, surprisingly firmly, while the pixie fucked him. He could be as hard as he wanted, Seymore could take it. He _wanted_ to take it. He wanted to feel small and powerless.

He grunted unwillingly, but as there were no sounds from the hallway, he hoped Nite hadn’t passed by or was about to. He continued, first touching himself slowly, firmly, but he didn’t want to edge himself for hours. He just wanted to come like this; lost in his euphoria. He panted and drooled as he stroked himself faster, _harder_ , feeling the precum drip all over his thick fingers.

His cock twisted in his hand. He wanted to beg for his release, indulging in old memories of the beautiful creature he once called his lover. He imagined those perfect lips, with those big, blue eyes, looking so innocently up at him, but promising all the naughty things he needed…

When he finally came, he felt dirty in more than one sense. In his hurry, he hadn’t undressed fully, and his shirt was wet and stained. But more than anything, he felt dirty for indulging so far into his past.

With a deep sigh he got up and undressed from his shirt, before putting his pants back on. He needed to wash his shirt, so it would be ready for the day after. Shamefully, he climbed the stairs, no sign of Nite around.

But as he wandered through the hall on his way to the washroom, he suddenly heard footsteps behind him. In his haste, he hadn’t put another shirt on, and regretfully, he looked back at the quite confused young man behind him.

Nite didn’t say anything at first, he just shamelessly stared at the troll. Seymore felt vulnerable and wanted to hide, but there weren’t any places to hide from this.

,,Ahm, I spilled something in my room…’’ he said slowly, as Nite’s eyes blatantly wandered around. He then realized he had been staring, and looked flustered up at the troll again. ,,I thought you were in bed, otherwise I would have put on a shirt…’’

,,No… No that’s alright…’’ Nite said, still barely focusing on Seymore’s words. He felt like the young man silently judged him, but maybe he was just suddenly aware of _how_ he actually looked.

Besides being a small troll, Seymore was also scrawny by troll standards. As a young man, he had barely any fat, but a slightly toned body, after he moved to the Center Isles. For trolls, Seymore’s long hair and small muscles didn’t impress, but hadn’t it been for his face, he might have actually been considered good-looking in his younger years, by races across the Center Isles.

But now, his hair was gone, and his body had slowly gained fat instead of muscles. Although he was still strong, his muscles were hidden behind the thick layer of fat, and his stomach was big, round and hard, not the flattering toned stomach he once had had.

,,I didn’t know you took food and drinks down into your chamber…’’ Nite noted, although seemingly more interested in looking at the troll, than talking.

,,I don’t normally do so, I promise…’’ Seymore said, trying to cover himself with the shirt, without revealing the stains. This made Nite aware again, and he finally _really_ looked up at Seymore.

,,I didn’t mean to stare,’’ he said, glancing down once more. ,,I… _uhm_ , I haven’t seen anyone… like _this_ …’’ he said slowly, before looking back at Seymore’s face.

That didn’t really help how nervous and fidgety Seymore felt. For some reason, he felt a slight groan in the back of his throat, that he _desperately_ held back. Convincing himself it was just the weird and awkward situation, he looked away.

,,Can I go? I really want to wash my clothes, and I’m not… _suitable_ for conversation, right now…’’ he said apologetic.

,,Oh, yerh, sure,’’ Nite said, passing by the troll, seemingly to get back to his studies. But Seymore noticed more stares as the young man passed by him.

When Nite finally left the hallway, Seymore hurried to the washroom, soaking his shirt as fast as he could. He just wanted to get back to his room, where he should have stayed. Not only felt he shameful, due to his previous activities, but he felt ashamed that Nite _so judgingly_ had stared at him.

But most of all, he felt ashamed that he got all weird and _tingly_ when Nite looked at him, ever so curiously. He didn’t want to believe it, when his mind shouted ‘ _he’s checking you out!_ ’ It was much more likely that Nite judged the troll’s poor physique, than anything.

Seymore rarely thought about the night he had told the young man about his sexuality. He wanted that conversation _as far away_ as possible. Not because of the things Nite had told him, only because of his own painful memories. He had felt honored that Nite would share such a thing with him, but they hadn’t talked about it since. He guessed Nite would ask him, if he had more questions about matters like these.

But now, all he could think of, was how weirdly the sorcerer had looked at him, as if he was trying to judge if Seymore was his _type_. He _didn’t_ want to think about such stuff, and he scolded himself for it internally.

Nite was so _young_ and clueless, in many ways. He suddenly remembered how _adamantly_ Nite had _insisted_ they were nearly the same age, converted from troll years to a human’s lifespan. Nite didn’t see him as _old_ , and the thought suddenly seemed more frightening than insulting.

But Nite was also very mature and disciplined in other aspects. He was talented and curious, and despite how awkwardly he went about things, Seymore _did_ believe that Nite tried his best not to be mean to the troll.

He went back to his room, a little dizzy, cold and wet. His shirt was drying, and he had another he could wear tomorrow, but right now, he just wanted to forget about all this and _sleep_ , like he should have done before his mind wandered south. It would be a _long_ time before he was stupid enough to try stuff like that again.

Or so he _thought_ …

He avoided Nite for the next couple of days. Not to the extent that the human would find worrying, he thought, but he simply just kept himself busy. _Really_ busy. He went up to clean the rooms on the fifth floor and the castle towers, always leaving Nite’s food where he would be able to find it when he got hungry enough, and then just _emerged_ himself into cleaning every part of the castle.

He would still greet the young man when he crossed him in the hallways, but he would never stop for long, afraid Nite would strike up a conversation if he stayed. He felt ashamed, because he thought he could see worry in the young man’s eyes, and he didn’t want to cause any more trouble, than he already felt that he had.

He just needed to clear his mind, he told himself. Troll instincts could be so strong, and if his primitive mind suddenly saw Nite as a potential _mate_ , he couldn’t be around him before he had relaxed for a bit.

Soon enough, he felt that he had control over himself again. He didn’t feel he would act inappropriate towards Nite, but he wasn’t sure, thus he had isolated himself as he gathered his thoughts. Both to his surprise and concern, he discovered that he _liked_ his daily, awkward talks with the young man, and felt rather thrilled when he finally felt he could be around him again.

But when he finally felt ready to engage in conversation with the sorcerer again, Nite distanced himself from _him_. _Even_ to the point where he wouldn’t respond when Seymore tried to talk with him. He guessed he had made the young man insecure by his sudden disappearances, but he had a hard time coming up with a suitable excuse.

He didn’t feel like he could just tell Nite that he had made him flustered that night. He couldn’t explain why he needed a couple of days to himself after that, either. But he knew that he _had_ to talk to Nite at some point.

Every time they saw each other in the hallway, Nite would avoid the troll’s gaze before he hurried on his way. This went on for a couple of days, before Seymore finally summoned the courage to knock on the heavy doors of the study chamber once again.

,,Nite, is this a bad time?’’ he asked through the closed door, but he got no answer. ,,Can I come in?’’ He waited for a while, but heard nothing, so he daringly tried to open the door and peek inside, but Nite was nowhere to be seen.

He still went inside, surprised by the shape the clutter had taken. He hadn’t been in the study chamber since he had made tea and sweets for Nite last time, and Nite hadn’t done any cleaning since then, to his knowledge. Regardless, the books where stacked together in sections, the papers in stacks on the floor, but everything seemed to be in some kind of order. The potions where placed in the same shelf, amulets, coins and jewels in yet another. While it wasn’t clean or neat, he guessed this was what Nite had been up to and his way of organizing.

Then he looked at the table; just three books, papers and ink. One of the books where covered in black leather, with a weird mark on its cover. When he tried to open it, it didn’t budge, so he simply put it away again, suddenly realizing it was sealed with some sort of protection spell. The other books where in a language he didn’t recognize, but they didn’t seem magical.

He curiously ran his fingers through the pages on one of them, lazily looking at weird words he didn’t understand, and pictures of anatomy. He felt a little chilly, as he wasn’t sure why Nite would need to be reading about _that_.

,,What are you doing?’’ Seymore turned to look at the young man, _horrified_ that the sorcerer would be furious that he had been snooping around. But to his surprise, Nite seemed just as horrified, his ears red and his big eyes flickering from the troll to the book in Seymore’s hands.

,,I’m sorry! I… I didn’t mean to pry, Nite, I just… I got _worried_ and then I wanted to…’’ he started, but trailed of as Nite hurried into the room, snatching the book from him.

,, _Don’t_ go through my stuff!’’ he said, almost embarrassed, as he _threw_ the book away. Seymore was taken aback, but tried to remain calm.

,,… I’m sorry. I can’t read it. I don’t-,’’ but Nite interrupted again.

,, _Never mind_ ,’’ he said, looking back at the troll. ,,What do you _want?_ ’’ he said, much more sternly than the troll expected. And suddenly, Seymore felt he was back to square one, all the progress they both had made together gone, just because of his self-indulgence.

,,… I don’t know,’’ he said slowly. ,,We haven’t talked much. I wanted to check up on you,’’ he explained. Nite looked away, as he slowly nodded.

,,You’ve been avoiding me,’’ he said.

,,I know,’’ he said, his voice feeling raspy and shallow.

,,I don’t understand why. Did I do something bad?’’ he asked, but Seymore just shook his head, making his long ears flop around his face. ,,Then _why_ wouldn’t you talk to me?’’ he said, finally looking back at the amber eyes.

,,I… I did… I _tried_ … I was… I guess I was embarrassed,’’ he said and looked down. Nite’s brows furrowed, as he looked like he tried to figure out _why_ Seymore would be so.

,,Because… of that night, right?’’ he asked slowly. Seymore felt his cheeks flush, but only managed to nod. ,,I thought a lot about that night,’’ he said nonchalantly, not even noticing the blush in Seymore’s cheeks. ,,But _why?_ It’s just… your body, right? You shouldn’t be ashamed by _that_ ,’’ he argued.

,,I don’t… always feel good about my body,’’ he tried. ,,And… you looked at me, like… Well, like you thought the exact same thing… I felt weird, and observed, and I… I needed to calm down again…’’ he said, trying to sit down on the desk to get a little closer to Nite’s level. The young man nodded, seemingly flustered again.

,,I don’t think… I understand that,’’ he said slowly. ,,I didn’t mean to _look_ at you, but I’ve only seen myself naked,’’ he said shamelessly. ,,And you look very _different_ , than me. I got curious,’’ he admitted. ,,… I think you’re interesting to look at,’’ he said, looking straight into the amber eyes.

The troll felt the familiar uncertainty he had tried to suppress the last couple of days, and the groan slipped out before he noticed. It didn’t seem to scare Nite, but it did seem to surprise him.

,,… Are you… alright?’’ he said, almost concerned.

,,Yes, yes, I’m sorry,’’ he tried as he coughed to get his redness under control. ,,Is… Is that why you were reading about anatomy?’’ he asked, looking at the book Nite had thrown away. Now Nite looked utterly flustered, as if he wanted to crawl away right then and there.

,,Well, _no_ , but… _yes?_ I… I have a _problem_ , and I needed to research, and… I don’t seem to have any _books_ on matters like… _that_ ,’’ he said hastily, not looking at the troll and fidgeting with his shirt as they spoke.

,,Oh, maybe… I can help you?’’ he tried, _begging_ for any chance to remove the subject away from himself, but this only seemed to make Nite’s pale cheeks shine brighter than ever before.

,,I… don’t know… Maybe you can?’’ he said, slowly walking closer the desk again. He sat down on the chair in front of Seymore, biting his lip as he gathered the courage to speak. Seymore hadn’t seen him like this before. ,,I don’t know how to… _get off_ ,’’ he tried, looking away.

,,What?’’ Maybe he had misheard him, but he became nervous again, his heart racing as the seconds passed by.

,,… _Masturbation_ ,’’ he mumbled. ,,I _know_ how to do it, but… I don’t… I’m not doing it _right_ , I think…’’ he tried, desperately looking up at the troll, but quickly looking away again. ,,I know it’s not something… people usually _talk_ about, but… it’s frustrating… It takes my concentration, and… well…’’ he mumbled.

,,… I’m not sure if I’m the best at giving advice…’’ Seymore tried, as politely as he could, but Nite just shook his head.

,,But that’s why you were out of your room, right? Half-naked? It’s okay, I’m not _mad_ or _disgusted_ or what else you might think, I just… I don’t understand how to… _come_ ,’’ he whispered regretfully.

The troll’s ears twisted at his words, and he tried to block them out. He hadn’t believed it had been this obvious, but clearly, he was wrong.

,,How do you do it?’’ Nite asked him, just as curiously as if he asked him about troll culture.

,,This is not… _appropriate,_ ’’ he tried.

,,No, I know… But I need help…’’ he admitted and looked down. Seymore tried not to look to closely, but even from the desk he could see the tension, the sorcerer tried to hide. ,,This is what I mean,’’ he mumbled, following the troll’s gaze. ,,If you could just… _help me_ , then I could figure it out, for myself,’’ he said quietly, but Seymore heard the words loud and clear.

,,I _really_ don’t think-,’’ he tried, but stopped as Nite looked up at him again.

,,Can’t I _order_ you to help me?’’ he tried, almost desperately. Seymore was about to answer, but no words came out of his mouth. Just more of his deep, raspy groans.

It only startled Nite for a moment, before he figured out that it wasn’t an _unpleasant_ sound. He took a deep breath and seemingly gathered the courage, as he shakenly grabbed Seymore’s hand. While the troll didn’t pull away, he simple felt frozen, spectating the unfolding scenario, happening right before his eyes.

,,… Help me…’’ he said, as he guided the big hand, placing it on his thigh. ,,It’s alright. I really want you to… do so…’’ he said shakenly, looking as the troll slowly stroked his clothed leg, not even thinking about what he was doing, anymore. ,,It’s alright, Seymore.’’

,,It’s really not,’’ he tried, but kept stroking his thigh. ,,It’s not right that I… touch you, like this…’’

,,There’s _nothing_ wrong with this,’’ he insisted, but his breath felt shallow. ,,Besides… You _want_ this too, don’t you? Is that why… Why you’ve been avoiding me? Troll’s are very physical, right? You were afraid you couldn’t… hold back, right?’’ he asked, slowly trying to grind against the troll’s big hand.

Seymore didn’t answer, he just nodded weakly, as if he admitted to his own perversities. He didn’t remove his hand from the sorcerer’s thigh, but he was unsure how to go about things. Nite was _right_ , it wasn’t illegal for him to help him. It was _taboo_ , but there was no way the Madam could bring him to court for this, as Nite was well over 15. Besides, how would she do so, if she wouldn’t take Nite out of the castle with her?

,,If you want this… and _I_ want this… then it’s alright… Right?’’ he asked, slowly pulling his long sweater over his head, revealing his pale skin. When Seymore didn’t answer, but didn’t pull away either, he unbuckled his belt, but didn’t pull his pants further down. ,, _Say something_ ,’’ he whispered, his eyes big and uncertain.

The troll didn’t. He just got up from the table, to sit down on his knees before the young man. A slight shiver went through him, as he looked at the throne, and a thought mindlessly entered about _servicing_ Nite while he sat on his throne.

But Nite was right in front of him, and had no reason to get up right now. Seymore could see, even through Nite’s pants, that he _very_ much wanted this.

,,I… will show you how to do it,’’ Seymore said shakenly, slowly pulling Nite’s pants down. ,,But only once. Is this alright?’’ he asked a final time. Nite nodded and lifted himself, as his pants and briefs were pulled down to expose his very hard, glistering cock.

,,Yes _, yes_ , it’s okay,’’ he said hastily. He flinched slightly when he felt the troll’s coarse hand, finally touching him, but he didn’t budge away when Seymore looked up at him, as if he had hurt him.

,,Tell me if it hurts or if you want me to stop,’’ he said instead, as he slowly continued when Nite nodded as his answer.

Seymore didn’t know much about humans, but Nite looked a lot like he had expected; his cock was smaller, but it was a similar shape to his own. It had surprised him that Nite had no foreskin, and he wasn’t sure if all humans were like that. He had seen elves both with and without foreskin, maybe humans were the same?

Otherwise, he reacted as he expected; he grinded against the troll’s big, coarse hand, he whimpered every now and again, and his cock twisted delightfully as he worked himself up. The sorcerer’s cock easily fitted inside of Seymore’s big hand, and his grip was firm around the twisting organ.

Nite didn’t seem to find this weird at all. He seemed hot and bothered, but Seymore understood _why_ if he was unable to come. He didn’t seem bothered by the fact that Seymore was the one doing such an intimate act, and he just grinded himself harder, as if he tried to rush to orgasm.

,,Slow down a little,’’ Seymore tried, loosening his grip around him. Nite did as told, unwillingly, and very rosy cheeked at this point. The troll covered his fingers in saliva, before he traced the spit around on the pink glans, making Nite whimper again. ,,You don’t need to rush so much. That won’t make it easier, I promise,’’ he said calmly, slowly massaging the tip instead.

,,I’m trying to… do it quickly… so it doesn’t bother you…’’ he panted. It was hard for him to keep still on the chair, and he unwillingly grinded against the touch again, moaning slightly as he did so.

,,Take your time, Nite. I’m not stopping until you tell me to do so,’’ he smiled. Nite nodded, closing his eyes, and just emerged down in enjoying the simple touch.

It was a little too exciting for Seymore to be doing this. Nite wasn’t especially pretty or sexy, but his sounds were very sincere, and he liked how aroused it seemed to make him that the troll played with him. One of his hands grabbed around the base of his cock, while the other kept teasing the tip. Despite not having foreskin, Nite seemed _very_ sensitive.

He leaked a lot, making Seymore’s hand sticky. He wanted to taste him, but he didn’t want to surprise the human either, and Nite seemed very comfortable with the situation right now. He dripped on the troll’s hands, making it easy for him to cover the head as he started to stroke him again, slow and steadily this time.

Seymore felt the tension in his own pants, but he knew if he whipped it out, he would lose focus on Nite. He could always touch himself later. He wanted to savor the moment, imprinting all of Nite’s sounds and movements as he touched him.

,,It’s… It feels really good…’’ Nite moaned, still not looking at the troll. ,,By _Am_ it’s _good_ … Don’t stop, _please_ don’t stop,’’ he begged, whimpering, as he grinded against Seymore’s hand anew, but this time much slower. Seymore sped up the pace, enjoying the feeling of the pulsing organ right in front of him.

He had never heard Nite _beg_ before, but the sudden loss of power and control only made it harder to resist him. Seymore kept the sorcerer steady, trying to gain the control, as Nite clearly seemed to be aroused by the fact that he, for once, hadn’t.

,,Y-you’ve done this before, right? With… other men, I mean?’’ Nite panted, almost drooling at this point. The mahogany eyes observed the troll, nodding guilty as charged. ,,You’re good at it… It feels really _good_ ,’’ he whined.

,,Thank you,’’ he said with his raspy voice. He felt Nite’s hand gently on the top of his head, just keeping his face in place, so he could observe the troll’s amber eyes anew.

,,… Can you… take your clothes of? If you don’t mind? I want to see you,’’ he panted, releasing his grip in the flustered troll. Seymore looked perplexed for a moment. He didn’t stop, but he slowed down his motions.

,,… Is shirtless fine?’’ he said hesitantly. Nite bit his lip and nodded, and Seymore slowly stood up to remove his shirt. He knew that Nite very likely looked at the hardening member in his pants, because he could hear a faint, surprised moan from the younger man, but he tried not to acknowledge it.

Seymore didn’t say anything else, before he continued to touch Nite again, this time, just without his shirt on. The sorcerer looked at him, just as intensely as last time, but Seymore wasn’t as afraid that Nite _judged_ him. That did, however, not make things easier for the troll.

,,You’re very… _interesting_ , to look at…’’ he repeated, making Seymore blush anew. ,,Why didn’t you want to undress fully?’’ he panted.

,,This is not about me. It’s about you, and making you feel good,’’ he said, avoiding to look too closely at the human.

,,But I want… wait, I, ah-!’’ he tried, but he suddenly jerked violently against Seymore’s hands. The troll didn’t even realize what was about to happen, before Nite hid his face in his hands, moaning so loudly that it rung against the castle walls, as he came all over the troll’s hands and chest.

As Nite panted and relaxed on the chair, Seymore looked down at his chest, covered in the now cooling semen. He hadn’t expected Nite to shoot so much, and not as suddenly either. Although he didn’t _exactly_ remember his first orgasm, he believed he had felt it coming for a _while_ before the _actual_ shot. Nite looked flustered at the troll, his eyelids heavy and his gaze enchanting.

,,I’m happy… that you took your shirt of…’’ he said between pants, making Seymore chuckle slightly. ,,Fuck, that was so _good_ , Seymore,’’ he whined as he hid his face again. Seymore looked down at his hand, wondering if he should taste him or not.

,,I’m happy that you enjoyed it,’’ he smiled as he got up. He took the shirt over his shoulder and was about to leave, when Nite looked up again.

,,Wait, where are you going?’’ he asked, jumping off the chair, almost tripping over as his pants were still at his ankles. ,,Aren’t I… Don’t you want to… Uhm…’’ he asked flustered, looking down at the still twitching organ visible in the troll’s pants. ,,Don’t you want to get off, too?’’ he asked sheepishly.

,,Don’t worry, Nite. I’ll take care of that later. I need to… clean up, first,’’ he said slowly. ,,But thank you for asking,’’ he added with a small smile. He was about to reach the door with his clean hand, when Nite stopped him again.

,,No, _wait!_ ’’ he said again. ,,… We’re good, right? You won’t avoid me tomorrow?’’ he asked doubtingly.

,,I won’t, I promise,’’ he smiled. ,,I hope… this _helps_ with your… problem,’’ he added, looking slightly at the still half-naked human.

,,I hope so too,’’ he mumbled, looking down at himself. While it hadn’t been big and impressive before, his dick looked even smaller now. It didn’t seem to bother Nite too much, but Seymore found it strangely interesting to look at the half-naked man in front of him. ,,I will try… not to make things weird,’’ he said slowly.

,,It’s alright. It might be a little weird, but I think I’ll survive,’’ he chuckled, finally opening the door. To his dismay Nite followed him out into the hallway as soon as he got his pants on.

,,… Did you hate it? I know you didn’t _exactly_ get anything out of it, but… You did _want_ this, right?’’ he asked quietly. Seymore didn’t exactly feel like he was up for talking, his mind fuzzy and his body still tingly and hormonal.

,,I am a simple troll, Nite. Despite my strange interests, in the end, I’m still just a troll. I like to eat, I like to sleep and I like to fuck,’’ he said, rather unapologetic, almost startling the young man by his tone. Although Seymore noticed this, he didn’t stop. ,,You can’t _order_ me to do stuff like this. If I wanted no part in it… I had _taken_ no part in it. So, no… I didn’t hate it,’’ he concluded, as he stopped at the washroom.

,,Okay,’’ he said simply. ,,Uhm, Seymore?’’ he asked, eyeing the troll ever so slightly. The troll’s patience was about to be over with, but he still looked as calmly as he could down at the sorcerer.

,,Yes?’’ Nite was fidgety for a moment, before he looked down again.

,,… Thank you.’’ Then he left, on his way to his own chamber, probably to wash himself off and get to bed. Seymore stood in the hallway for a moment, stunned at the words Nite had never spoken before, feeling an array of emotions he had no interest in right now.

As he walked into the washroom, he threw his shirt at the floor and sat down with his back against the door. He had no time to think of the sudden _proudness_ he felt, that Nite had _thanked him with words_ , for once. How weirdly _happy_ it made him, and how that somewhat _still_ turned him on, that Nite was so sincere and trusting towards him.

He was still covered in cum, the liquid now completely cold. He didn’t hesitate anymore, as he pulled his pants down, revealing his still throbbing member, slowly touching himself with the cold, sticky semen. Shivers went down his spine, but it didn’t feel bad, it just made him feel _dirty_. It made him feel like exactly what he was: A dirty, old troll, corrupting his human Master. He leaked all over his fingers, making him even stickier than before.

Seymore wasn’t as loud as Nite was, but he couldn’t help but to groan every now and then. He took his sweet time, as he had no intention in cutting it short, enjoying every last bit of it. Slowly, he let his fingers run over his chest, covering them in cum before he finally gave in and tasted the sorcerer. His taste wasn’t as strong as his own, but it was also cold now. He wondered how he would taste, if he had come right into his mouth… Imaging swallowing every drop, feeling him jerk forward and hearing more of those _delicious_ moans.

For the first time in what felt like a decade, he came without imaging the icy blue eyes, the fair skin and the fragile, beautiful creature, he once had called his lover. As he looked down at his hand, his sperm mixed with Nite’s, he wasn’t sure he liked the outcome. But he couldn’t deny that excitement he felt, as he, once more, tasted his hand, their fluids together in a strange mix, that made his cock twitch again…


	4. 4) Shy, little lamb

He couldn’t remember _exactly_ when he fell for Nite. Sometime after they had started to fool around, he believed, but he wasn’t sure anymore. He lived in a weird haze, trying to remember bits and pieces over the last few months. Winter would soon be over them, and then Nite’s birthday would come and go, just like his own had done not long ago.

What would he _do_ when the Madam arrived home? They couldn’t continue this with her at home. He hadn’t talked with Nite about the matter, and he wasn’t sure how to go about it, either. He didn’t want Nite to feel _bad_ about the things they did, because hadn’t it been for the fact that it was _Seymore_ he was with, there should be nothing wrong with Nite, as a young man, just exploring his sexuality.

He didn’t think the Madam would see it the same way. Not with _him_ , at least.

He couldn’t just stop, either. Nite would start to ask questions, questions he didn’t want to answer. And when all was said and done, he didn’t _want to_ stop. He _liked_ being with Nite, although he often was fed up by guilt as well.

They had never discussed if he would _stay_ in the basement chamber when the Madam returned. Most likely, he would move back into his old room. Then Nite couldn’t as easily sneak out at night, into his room, without it being noticed at some point.

Mostly, he didn’t want to think about or dread what would happen in months from now. Maybe Nite would be satisfied, by that time, and simply stop indulging in Seymore’s perversions? Or maybe Seymore would step over a line, ending it himself…

He didn’t hope it was the last part. It felt strange that he barely wanted to leave this comfortable bubble they had build together. Before, he had wanted no part in this, but now he feared its end.

This wasn’t normal, he knew that. He shouldn’t be thinking about this, as if it was _their_ thing. He reminded himself, that they merely helped each other out, and that in itself was bad enough.

Nite had offered to teach him about magic, but he had declined. Magic was such a big part of Nite, his interests, his _life_ , and he couldn’t see a future, living in fear of something so vital to Nite.

Maybe it would fade over time, he told himself. Maybe he would soothe his fears, if he _just_ let Nite talk about it for a while, but he couldn’t count on it. His former lover could levitate, make light and make flowers bloom, although he rarely did any of that. But Nite used magic on an everyday basis, just not as frequent when they were in the same room.

He slumped down into the big hallway, sitting on the big staircase, leading up to the second floor. He _knew_ it would be easier to just talk with Nite, but he was afraid of what he might say or what he _actually_ thought about it all.

In some ways, he didn’t like the thought of Nite being in love with him. It would make it so much harder, when they eventually had to stop this. But the thought of Nite setting him straight, that this was _only_ for his own desires, made him cold too. Was Nite capable of _feelings_ like these? He wasn’t sure about that.

Although Nite wasn’t _evil_ , he had many weird quirks. Quirks Seymore didn’t actually mind at this point, but which made him hard to be with for hours on end.

But then again, Seymore had his own weird habits. Maybe he wasn’t _able_ to make Nite happy, even if he wanted that. And maybe he simply just thought too much about it.

He stretched his back when he stood up again, heading to the door at the entrance to collect the mail. They rarely received any, but the Madam had written a couple of times to Nite. And once to himself.

Unlike the time his sister had written to him, this time he answered, but he hadn’t received a reply yet. Maybe he never would…

… ,,A letter for me?’’ he asked confused as Nite handed him the envelope. The sorcerer looked rather concerned as well, but he tried to hide it behind his own letter.

,,Yes. It’s from my mother.’’ He then hurried away, as if he was about to get scolded, but maybe he just wanted privacy while he read his own letter.

Seymore had tried to keep up his promise, by not avoiding Nite. It was only a couple of days since Seymore had taught him about _masturbation_ , but at this point, he was almost unsure if it had all been some weird kind of feverish dream he had had.

Nite hadn’t mentioned it, and thus, Seymore had neither. The sorcerer acted as he usually did, and there seemed to be no weird tension between them, for once. Maybe Seymore were stressed or tired, and had simply imagined the whole night? Either way, he felt relieved that things seemed to be back to normal.

But why the Madam would write to _him_ , he didn’t understand. He slowly opened the envelope, and saw a single piece of paper. With her carefully written letters, she wrote:

_,,Dear Seymore_

_I hope everything is steady, and that he behaves. My apologies if I caused trouble by scolding him, but I was unsure if the explosions were towards you._

_It seems like he likes you. That’s good. Keep him there, no matter what._

_I’m aware that your birthday is coming up, and I assure you, you will get your time off, at another point. You cannot take him with you, either, don’t let him convince you to do so._

_My travels are going as planned. I will be back before spring, if everything keeps up._

_Thank you._

_Willa Greenlight’’_

Nite had been right, his mother did have some sort of censors in the castle, alerting her of the explosions. It must have been because the explosions happened around his sleeping area that she had written to him, because Seymore still heard explosions every now and again from the study chamber, but hadn’t heard of any other scolding than this.

He still didn’t understand why it was so important for her to keep Nite at the castle, but he was glad she had clarified that he couldn’t escort him out of the castle, either. Maybe Nite _was_ sick. Maybe the Madam had secretly protected Seymore from whatever illness the young man had, so he wouldn’t catch the same. But the uncertainty made him nervous.

She had remembered his birthday, a thing he hadn’t expected, although it was mostly to keep him at the castle, it seemed. As the days passed and his birthday crept closer, he didn’t really mind staying at the castle. Especially if there wasn’t any weird tension between him and the sorcerer.

He put the letter away and continued his day as usual. He didn’t see much to Nite, and when he finally did at dinner, he could clearly tell that he didn’t like whatever his mother had wrote to him. Seymore sat down at the table cautiously, with a plate for both of them, for once.

,,Say when,’’ Seymore said calmly, as he served the young man. Nite looked irritated at his plate as the food piled on.

,, _When_ ,’’ he said, taking the full plate away from the troll, almost so hastily that Seymore feared the plate would spill its content. ,,What _is_ this?’’ he said, looking down at the stew.

,,It’s a troll specialty,’’ he said as he served himself. ,,It’s not that pretty, but I promise that it tastes good,’’ he tried.

,,You don’t often make troll dishes, do you?’’ Nite asked as he began to poke to his food. ,,I mean, I’ve never seen you make anything like _this_ , before… before my mother went on her trip,’’ he said slowly.

,,No, but I don’t miss out on much,’’ he admitted. ,,I eat almost anything. But you’re right, I have an opportunity to cook a little differently now,’’ he said as he began to eat. Nite didn’t seem too displeased when he actually tried it.

,,Are trolls afraid of spices, like they’re afraid of magic?’’ he asked, in that soft voice he used when he talked with himself. It had been a while since Seymore had heard him use it, and it startled him for a moment. ,,Ugh, I mean… It’s fine…’’ he corrected himself, realizing what he said.

,,… Can I ask you a question?’’ he asked instead. Nite nodded suspiciously, but kept eating slowly. ,,Why do you _do that?_ I mean, it’s like you don’t even realize that I’m here?’’ he asked calmly. ,,I’m not _mad_ about it, Nite. It’s just… I’ve never known you did that, before.’’ Nite cleared his throat and tried to look away, but he didn’t flee the subject.

,, _Well_ , I talk a lot, when I’m by myself. And as I often was alone… It’s just a habit now, I guess. I don’t really think about it,’’ he admitted. ,,It’s like… like that I’m thinking out loud,’’ he said, finally looking back at the troll. ,,I didn’t mean to say that, by the way. It tastes fine.’’

,,I know, it’s alright,’’ he smiled. ,,You haven’t done that for a while, though. Talked with yourself, I mean.’’ Nite seemed flustered, and somewhat smiled by his words.

,,No, but that’s maybe because we talk a little more often now,’’ he said. When he smiled, it revealed his broken front tooth, making him seem dorkier and more nervous than he maybe was.

,,I get that,’’ Seymore smiled. They ate in silence for a while, and Seymore dreaded that the sorcerer once more seemed to be in deep thoughts about whatever his mother had written to him. He cleared his throat, ready to initiate conversation again, when Nite interrupted him.

,,I know what you want to ask, but I don’t want to talk about the letter right now,’’ he said.

,,… Okay. But if there’s anything you want to talk about, know that I’m here,’’ he said instead. Nite nodded and finished up his food, surprisingly fast, for once. ,,Do you want more?’’ he asked, but Nite shook his head. He didn’t expect that, either.

,,No, I’m full,’’ he said. ,,Is this some kind of troll comfort food?’’ he asked instead.

,,It’s for special occasions, yes,’’ he smiled. ,,But I have no special occasion in mind. I just figured out that you maybe wanted to try it,’’ he shrugged.

,,I like learning about stuff like this,’’ he admitted. ,,Maybe not… _cooking_ , but culture and such. Trolls don’t write many books,’’ he noticed.

,,Maybe I should do that, at some point,’’ he chuckled as he finished his own plate. This seemed to interest Nite again.

,,Do you like to write?’’ he asked, rather enthusiastically. It occurred to Seymore that he hadn’t told the young man much about himself and his interests. Mostly general stuff, he guessed, and the bare minimum of his past.

,,Well, I like to read,’’ he said instead. ,,I don’t have many books myself, but they’re classics,’’ he smiled warmly. ,,Maybe I could write a book, at some point, I don’t know. I… have a lot of time,’’ he said, almost dreamingly. He barely noticed the interested look on Nite’s face as he said so.

,,That’s it!’’ he smiled, standing up so suddenly that it surprised the troll a little. ,,I have to go! I have something to work on! _Thank you!_ ’’ he said as he hurried on his way.

Nite didn’t notice how weirdly flustered it made Seymore to hear those words: _thank you._ Maybe it wasn’t a dream, after all, he thought to himself. But if it wasn’t… Then why hadn’t Nite mentioned it at _all_ since then?

If it was because he didn’t want to, or if he just didn’t like to do so, Seymore didn’t know, but Nite never said _I’m sorry_ and rarely said _thank you_. Maybe it was because that, despite everything, Seymore was _still_ just his servant, and he didn’t want to humanize him too much. But much more likely, Nite felt uncomfortable with doing so.

He wasn’t sure why. But he knew that Nite had no problem with grabbing Seymore’s hand or shoulder, to say _thank you,_ once he learned about it. He didn’t do it every day, but just often enough that Seymore understood that he meant it.

The day went by without further instances. The next day was as many others was, but Nite seemed to be in a seemingly bad mood. If it was because of the letter the day before, or because of whatever plan he had had wasn’t going as smoothly as he had thought, Seymore couldn’t know. He tried to chat Nite up, but the sorcerer wouldn’t budge, and seemingly went to bed early, something he usually didn’t do.

Seymore was too tired to check up on him. His mind was still on his own letter from the Madam, and whether or not he should write back to her. She hadn’t left on good terms, but she _trusted_ him with her son, and he couldn’t help but feel like he had betrayed her in some sort of way.

He fell asleep, with eerily life like dreams. Dreams that made his skin tingle, and his breath go shallow. Dreams, he first recognized as ones he had had about his lover, but it was suddenly made clear that the figure wasn’t the beautiful pixie; it was Nite. In the dream, it didn’t even surprise him.

His body jerked forward and he awoke so suddenly, that he sat up immediately. It took him a moment to make his heart stop beating fast, before he realized that his candle was still lit. But he was sure he had blown it out before he laid down…

He looked to his side, and was about to jump again, when he realized it was Nite, _the real Nite_ , that sat on the small chair. The young man both looked flustered and apologetic down at him, as he cleared his throat.

,,You, uhm… Having bad dreams?’’ he tried, lowering the candle so the shadowy flames danced on the wall.

,,What are you _doing_ down here, Nite?’’ he asked, ignoring the question as he covered himself with the blanket. Although Nite _had_ seen him half-naked before, he didn’t like the way he looked at him again. Or maybe he liked it too much, because he felt his pants tighten slightly at the whole scenario.

,,I… I couldn’t sleep,’’ he admitted. ,,I didn’t mean to startle you. I’m not… I’m not watching you, like this, normally, I just…’’ he said, trailing of. ,,I wanted to talk to you. But then I heard you groan in your sleep,’’ he admitted, looking curiously at the troll.

,,Nite, you can’t just… _watch_ _me_ while I sleep. That’s not-,’’ he tried, but Nite interrupted him.

,,No, no, I know. This is your room. But I…’’ he said, biting his lip. Then he shook his head, trying to focus. ,,What did you dream about?’’ he tried again.

,,I’m not… up for chatting, right now…’’ he said, suddenly taking the site of the young man in. He only wore his big, oversized shirt. He didn’t know what Nite usually slept in, but he suddenly couldn’t take his gaze away from the bare skin.

,,… I know… Seymore, I… I have a problem…’’ he admitted, looking away again. ,,And I _know_ you said ‘only once’, but it just… It doesn’t feel as good… when _I_ do it…’’ he mumbled. It was now painfully clear, even for the sorcerer, that Seymore’s body was aware of the situation and was in no way rejecting the idea. But the troll himself wasn’t as easily convinced.

,,It… takes time…’’ he tried, but kept looking at the sorcerer. He still felt tired and confused, and he was still unsure if this was a dream or not. But if it wasn’t, then the other night had also been _oh_ so real.

,,I don’t want to do it myself,’’ he said bluntly. ,,I want you… to do it, that is,’’ he corrected himself. He spread his legs, but the sweater covered for everything. Seymore wasn’t sure, but it felt like Nite tried to lure him into touching him.

,,… If I do it now, you’ll just come back,’’ he said, slowly getting up on his knees and sitting in front of him. He could hear that Nite’s breath became shallow and excited.

,,But don’t you want that?’’ he asked quietly. ,,You _need_ to be touched, right? How have you even _survived_ all this time without? I want… to feel good… I want us both to feel good…’’ he said slowly as he lifted his sweater, pulling it over his head. He wasn’t even wearing underwear.

He didn’t even think it through when he leaned forward and licked from the base of Nite’s cock to the tip. He tasted him, like he had wanted to do ever since that night. It surprised Nite, because he shrieked, seemingly fearing that Seymore would bite him, but as soon as he felt the warm, wet tongue on his tip, he moaned instead.

,,Wh-what are you… Why would you…?’’ he blabbered, but Seymore only looked up at him, the sorcerer’s cock still in his mouth, as he kept teasing the head with his long, wet tongue. ,,… You’re not going to bite me, are you?’’ he panted, embarrassed that he had to ask. Seymore chuckled and shook his head, the cock still in his mouth, before he pulled away with a wet _slurp_.

,,No, no biting,’’ he promised. ,,I’m sorry that I scared you. But now you’ll know _better_ than to watch me sleep, I assume,’’ he said sternly, but still smiled at the flustered human. ,,I’m going to touch you in a different way tonight. Is that alright?’’ he asked, and as soon as Nite nodded, he leaned down to take him into his mouth again. The sorcerer jerked forward, just as sensitive as Seymore’s dizzy mind remembered him to be.

,,Is this… right? Is it normal to… do so… with your mouth?’’ he panted, sitting as still as he could.

,,Does it feel good?’’ he asked as he pulled away. Nite nodded slightly, his cheeks flushed and his eyelids heavy. ,,Then yes, it’s fine,’’ he said, continuing the deed.

Nite wasn’t big enough to reach the back of the troll’s throat, but Seymore still adored the feeling of sucking him off. While Nite wasn’t long, his cock was not thin either, and he felt satisfied in a way he had missed for a long time.

Maybe his instincts had taken over? Maybe he was still a little sleepy and confused, but the moment that Nite had removed his sweater, the scent had hit him and he wanted to please him _so badly_ that he almost forgot what he did. He wanted to make Nite moan and squirm, looking up at the human, with the most submissive look in his eyes.

,,Woah,’’ Nite mumbled, caressing the top of the troll’s head. ,,You’re _really_ good at this…’’ he moaned, touching Seymore’s cheeks, head and neck; everywhere he could reach. The troll didn’t respond, he just kept sucking, groaning against the stiff member in his mouth.

He tasted good, Seymore thought mindlessly. His urge to taste his cum was just as strong as the other night, but this time, he didn’t feel as ashamed about it. He sucked, slurped and drooled on the human, making wet, noisy sounds, that seemed to edge Nite on even more.

,,This is _so_ much better,’’ Nite mumbled, closing his eyes and not holding back _any_ of his moans. Seymore _loved_ how loud Nite was, feeling his own cock twitch ever so eagerly in his pants. He mindlessly touched himself through the fabric, groaning slightly himself.

Nite came just as suddenly as he had done the other night, jerking violently into the troll’s mouth and moaning louder. He looked slightly down at the troll, who continued to suck and clean the softening cock, until he finally pulled away, cum still in his mouth. Then he swallowed, licking his lips, and made Nite seem utterly flustered by this.

,,Wh-why would you… _eat it?_ ’’ he asked, almost disgusted, but ever so curious. ,,Isn’t that… _gross?_ I mean…’’ he said slowly, eyeing the troll closely as Seymore laid back down on his mattress. Even if the troll had closed his eyes, he was well aware that Nite looked at the bulge in his pants.

,,I don’t think it’s gross. Otherwise, I wouldn’t do it,’’ he said calmly. ,,You’re very… sensitive, when I touch you, that is,’’ he said. When he looked up, Nite wasn’t on the chair. He hadn’t heard him move, but now he sat beside the troll on the mattress, eyeing him almost hungrily. ,,… What are you doing?’’ he asked, breaking Nite’s trance as he was clearly staring.

,,I want to… help you too…’’ he said slowly, trying to reach out for the seam of Seymore’s pants, but the troll stopped him.

,,There’s no need for that,’’ he assured him with a tired smile, but Nite didn’t seem satisfied with that answer.

,,Oh _come on_ , Seymore! You’re _clearly_ turned on, and I’m practically _begging_ to touch you!’’ he whined.

,,And might I add, that doesn’t make it any easier to say no,’’ he sighed, letting go of Nite’s hand again.

,,Then, why _say_ no _?_ ’’ he asked. ,,Why would it be worse for _me_ to touch _you_ , than otherwise? Whatever weird moral complex you have, I don’t see how this is _more_ inappropriate?’’ he said, but he didn’t push it further. ,,I want you to _feel_ good,’’ he said, his voice tiny and soft.

,,Well, it’s actually not my fleeting morality I fear,’’ he sighed as he looked over at Nite anew. ,,Urges can be very hard to control, in general. Trolls like to indulge in such, both regarding food and sex. I am afraid… to hurt you…’’ he said, looking down his body. ,,It’s been _so long_ since I’ve been with anyone. Can I even remember _how_ to hold back?’’ he asked, mostly to himself. Nite was silent for a moment, still eyeing him with great interest, to the point where Seymore wasn’t even sure that he listened to him anymore.

,,You’re a very _weird_ troll, you know that?’’ he said softly. Seymore wasn’t sure if Nite talked to himself, but then he looked back at him, with his big, deep-set mahogany eyes, he had grown so familiar to. ,,I’m not afraid of you, Seymore. You’re not going to hurt me, I _know_ that,’’ he said truthfully. He then calmly placed his hand on the troll’s thigh, as Seymore quietly observed it all. ,,You’ve seen me. I want to see you, too.’’

Seymore didn’t want to argue, that he had _never_ pushed to see Nite naked, he knew it would be to no avail. He simply sighed, took a deep breath and pulled his pants down, revealing his leaking cock to the human.

,,… Woah…’’ Without much hesitation, Nite laid down between the troll’s legs, not touching him, but observing every inch and curve on the big organ. He looked puzzled, intimidated and delighted all at once, and it made Seymore flinch a little as he felt the sorcerer’s hot breath against his skin.

Where Nite’s cock was small, fat and mostly straight, with little to no veins, Seymore’s were almost the opposite. His cock was big, heavy and a little bent towards his right, veiny and throbbing as Nite studied him. Where Nite had small, thin hairs around his body, Seymore had none at all. His foreskin was tight, and only revealed the slightest of the reddish glans against the green skin.

Then Nite finally, carefully, held around him, his fingers barely able to meet when he grabbed around the twitching member. His hands were long and thin, slightly cold, and surprisingly careful. He just held it in his hand for a moment, before he looked back at the troll, as if he finally remembered that he wasn’t alone.

,,This is… _heavy_ ,’’ he noted, slightly stroking up and down. ,,You’re not as _hard_ as I expected. And you have _this_ ,’’ he said, pulling the foreskin slightly up and down, making wet, lewd noises in the process. It seemed to surprise him, but he didn’t seem disgusted by it.

,,Trolls don’t usually cut their foreskin. It can be a cultural thing, for some species. Or for medical reason, for all species,’’ he explained, shortly taking over to pull his foreskin all the way down, revealing all of his red glans to the mesmerized sorcerer. ,,Not gonna lie, it’s not often that I’ve seen anyone _so fascinated_ with… me…’’ he said slowly.

,,Why not?’’ he asked genuinely. ,,I mean… It’s, uhm… Well, I _know_ I don’t really have any experience with stuff like this, but… Uhm…’’ he tried, trembling over his words. ,,For the love of Am, it’s bigger than my face,’’ he whispered, gently placing his face underneath it. He felt the human’s tongue tryingly lick the base of the cock, whimpering slightly as he did so.

,,My partners have often been rather… _petite,_ ’’ he said. ,,Not unlike yourself,’’ he added, when Nite looked slightly up at him again. ,,But for trolls, I’m rather small. It’s hard to find a good match, where I’m neither _too small_ nor _too big_ ,’’ he said.

,,I guess that makes sense,’’ Nite said, slowly pulling away to take a better look at it. Although Nite had pitched the idea, that he wanted Seymore to feel good and return the favor, it became very clear for the troll that Nite mostly wanted to study him. But as the human carefully touched and looked, he found that he didn’t really mind that, either. ,,Can I… do as you did?’’ he asked slowly, placing his mouth in front of the tip of the cock.

,,You don’t _have to_ ,’’ he said slowly, but his cock wasn’t agreeing with him. Nite’s breath was warm and he seemed eager to feel more of the throbbing cock on his tongue.

,,But I want to,’’ he whispered, slowly licking the tip. He seemed a little perplexed at first, seemingly not expecting the strong taste, but it didn’t stop him. He let his lips around the tip, as he slowly licked and sucked it, all while looking up at the troll.

Seymore loved sex. All aspects of it interested him, but if he had to pick _one_ thing he had missed, it was blowjobs. And while Nite was very careful and barely had the tip in his mouth, he _adored_ the look in the sorcerer’s eyes as he kept taking more and more in. Nite moaned and drooled, going slow and steady to not scrape his teeth against the soft skin.

,,Damn…’’ he whispered, placing his heavy hand on the top of the sorcerers head. In contrast to Nite, Seymore wasn’t as loud or talkative, but he tried his best to show how mesmerizing it was to feel his hot, wet mouth around him.

Nite pulled away to lick and kiss more of the cock. He couldn’t fit that much into his mouth, but he seemed very eager to feel more of the twitching member, in any way he could. Every time precum would form, he licked it away hungrily.

,,Is it even any good?’’ he suddenly asked concerned, looking up at Seymore again. ,,I can _barely_ fit any of it in my mouth,’’ he whined. He wasn’t sure if Nite did it on purpose, but he almost made it sound lewd.

,,It’s good, I promise,’’ Seymore smiled, guiding his head down, feeling more of the human’s warm mouth. ,,You make me feel _very_ good,’’ he assured him, gently thrusting against the open mouth.

The gurgling sounds combined with his half-lidded gaze made it almost unbearable. Nite didn’t fight it, but Seymore made sure not to push him _too_ far, and to pull away to give him air once in a while. But Nite would go back for more every time he pulled away, covered in spit and a look of pure euphoria.

,,If I’m not mistaken,’’ Seymore said, moaning lightly, ,,you’re enjoying yourself _too_ , aren’t you?’’ he smiled, as Nite nodded to the best of his abilities, his chin covered in spit and his moans that echoed against the hard cock. ,, _Fuck_ _you look good like this_ ,’’ he growled, slipping into his mother tongue. Nite didn’t react, seemingly just thinking Seymore had growled. Slight shivers went down the sorcerer’s spine, as he broke contact to catch his breath.

,,Tell me if I need to… change anything. I don’t really know how to… uhm, _please you_ , correctly,’’ he mumbled, before he began to lick the cock again.

,,I think you’re doing great,’’ he smiled, pressing Nite’s head a little further down his lenght, feeling the throat clench tightly around him. Nite spat and gasped for air as soon as Seymore let go of him, seemingly not in any kind of pain, besides being out of breath.

,,Are you _trying_ to choke me?’’ he said mockingly, but he smiled as he did so. He placed himself better, his mouth around the tip again, while both of his hands stroked the shaft.

,,I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to push you that far,’’ he said, slowly panting as he felt the familiar warmth build up. He knew that Nite probably didn’t wanted to do this for hours on end, but at the same time, Seymore wanted it to continue for as long as possible.

,,There’s a lot of… _liquid,_ ’’ he noted, licking the precum up to no avail. ,,That’s good, right?’’ Seymore nodded slightly, looking at the proud smile on the sorcerer’s face.

,,Just a second… Just let me adjust _one_ thing,’’ he said, moaning lightly as he placed one hand on Nite’s head, and the other one firmly around the base of his cock. He didn’t push as far down as before, but he held the human in place while he thrusted a little harder into his open mouth.

As Nite gasped and sputtered, he didn’t break eye contact. He just looked up at the troll, so into it that Seymore had a hard time to hold back. He felt it coming and smiled relieved, as he let go of the sorcerer’s head.

,,You might want to move your mouth,’’ he moaned, but Nite only continued even harder by his words. The big, mahogany eyes looked beggingly up at Seymore, and he knew he had warned him beforehand, so he let himself come right into his warm mouth. His moans weren’t as loud as Nite’s, but he was louder than he had been for a long time.

Nite’s face was messier than Seymore’s had been. He tried his best to not spill the cum, but as the troll continued to shoot, he was taken aback of how much there was. His face dripped eagerly down at the mattress, although he tried his best to hold his hands out to catch any spillage. When Seymore finally pulled away, looking at the sorcerer’s rosy cheeks and full mouth, he gently patted the top of his head.

,,You can spit it out, it’s alright. I’ll clean it up later,’’ he assured him, but Nite seemed determined not to do so. In a single, big gulp, he swallowed down, poking his tongue out as his mouth was finally empty again.

,,Is it always so… _bitter?_ ’’ he whined, grimacing a little.

,,Well, I guess it depends on a lot of things. But no… cum isn’t _sweet as pie_ ,’’ he chuckled. It surprised him when Nite curiously went back to clean the softening cock even more, but the taste didn’t seem to bother the sorcerer that much, after all. ,,… It’s not as bad when you get used to it,’’ he shrugged, feeling his body cool down slightly.

,,… Have you done this a lot? I mean… With a lot of people?’’ he asked slowly. The candle burned out, and Seymore felt tired anew, closing his eyes as he sighed.

,,I wouldn’t say _a lot_ , but… I guess that depends on what you consider a lot,’’ he mumbled, not really interested in detailing his former _activities_ with the human. ,,But enough to know that different species taste differently, or that diet can affect the taste as well,’’ he shrugged.

,,Oh… But… did you like it? I mean, not my _taste_ , but… uhm…’’ he said slowly. Seymore had a hard time figuring out where Nite was in the room by now, but he was too tired to open his eyes fully to look around.

,,I liked it. Thank you,’’ he yawned. He could _feel_ Nite move around, expecting him to leave him be soon. He just wanted to sleep and try to forget the hungry eyes that burned into his mind.

,,… Seymore?’’ he asked softly. The troll grunted, as the young man continued: ,,… Can we do this again, sometime?’’ he asked quietly. When Seymore didn’t answer immediately, he spoke again: ,, _I_ want to do this again.’’

There were no demands in his voice. He _knew_ that despite his best efforts, he couldn’t order Seymore to sexually please him. But he also knew that Seymore wasn’t that hard to convince, even if he tried to abstain from his lust.

,,… Yes. But _don’t_ sit and watch me while I sleep,’’ he said firmly. ,,Just wake me up instead,’’ he said, yawning again. His mind went fuzzy, but if it was due to tiredness or to his words, he didn’t know. He wasn’t sure why he would oblige this request so easily, but something Nite had said had set him off; _You_ need _to be touched, right? How have you even survived all this time without?_ He then realized Nite hadn’t answered him at all. ,,Nite?’’

Still no reply. He almost thought the sorcerer had vanished like he used to, mid conversation, until he heard it, for the first time of many to come; the light snoring. Nite had fallen asleep, his back turned to Seymore, his small frame barely taken up any space on the mattress.

He wondered for a moment if he should get up and put Nite to bed, but decided against it. Instead, he took his blanket and put it over the small man by his side. Afraid of cuddling up to him, a strange thing to be afraid of, everything considered, he laid his back against Nite’s, just barely touching him.

It felt… _grounding_. He felt safe, with the sorcerer’s snoring filling the room, and the warmth of his back against his own. He hadn’t expected that. He smiled, feeling dizzy anew, finally letting sleep do its thing…

When Nite woke the next day, he was alone in the basement chamber. Seymore was afraid what he might say or do when awoken, so he simply left the still sleeping human in his room, getting on with his chores as usual.

As he expected, Nite didn’t say anything the following day. Just like the time before, everything went back to normal, and Seymore began to rethink if it _was_ a dream this time. He _knew_ it wasn’t, but it all felt so surreal that he had a hard time convincing himself, that it was reality.

He found himself weirdly aware of Nite when they spoke. The little things, he didn’t notice before. Like how soft his smile was, the rare times he did so. That he would fiddle with his sweater when nervous. How he _looked_ at the troll, so intensely and almost… _adoring._

Seymore knew it wasn’t uncommon for young men to lay with their maids. Had Seymore been a young woman, even if he’d been a young troll woman, he wouldn’t have thought there was anything abnormal about their situation. He understood that Nite wanted to explore his sexuality, his own body for that matter, and he didn’t blame Nite for being curious.

But Seymore wasn’t a young lady, and Nite didn’t understand how cruel people could be, with matters like these. He guessed that Nite maybe just wanted to fool around for a bit, while his mother wasn’t here, but Seymore also remembered how it had been to be young, naïve and falling in love with every creature that batted him an eye.

He didn’t want to _hurt_ Nite. Neither his body, nor his heart.

The sun rose slowly on the grey autumn day; Seymore’s celebration of surviving 41 summers so far. He woke up as usual, not feeling any different than the day before, and by all means, he probably wouldn’t feel any different the next day, either.

He then noticed a strange smell and noises from the hallway. Still groggy from just waking up, he climbed the stairs, just to see everything looked like itself. But the noises definitely came from the kitchen, and he became very aware that he could hear Nite swear and curse, even before he stepped into the small room.

Nite didn’t notice him at first, he just kept on whatever he was doing. It took Seymore a moment to realize that he tried to make breakfast, and as far as he could tell, he wasn’t that great at it. Something smelled burned, and the place was messy, but Seymore smiled regardless, before he cleared his throat, making Nite jump slightly.

,,You’re up!’’ he almost shrieked, looking flustered around the messy kitchen. ,,I didn’t expect you to be up so early on your _birthday_ ,’’ he said, almost dismissingly.

,,I’m always up early,’’ he smiled, walking over to Nite to take a look at whatever he tried to make. ,,Can I help you?’’ he asked, looking at the slightly burned eggs.

,,No, _I’m_ making you breakfast today,’’ he said, with a confidence the plates didn’t reflect. ,,It’s… it doesn’t look that good, does it?’’ he sighed as he plated the eggs.

,,It’s fine, thank you. That’s very kind of you,’’ he said, placing his heavy hand on the sorcerer’s shoulder. He let it rest there without even noticing, while Nite slowly smiled and took his hand.

It startled Seymore, because it didn’t feel like when Nite thanked him. It felt like he tried to curl their fingers together, softly as ever, all while trying to be casual about it. The troll slowly removed his hand, as gently as possible.

,,You want to eat with me, I hope?’’ Seymore said instead, taking both plates to go to the dining area. The sorcerer nodded, sighed and followed him.

,,Yes, of _course_ ,’’ he whined. ,,I _never_ get up this early.’’ Seymore knew that was true. It made him almost tingly to think at how much effort the young man had put into all of this.

While he had done his best, Nite had never cooked anything, to Seymore’s knowledge. The eggs were burnt, the meat wasn’t cooked enough and somehow the toasted bread was soggy. While Nite seemed slightly down about all this, Seymore ate happily without complaining.

,,This is awful,’’ Nite said, flinching as he ate the last of his bread. ,,I’m never going to cook anything again.’’ Seymore smiled and finished his tea, finally feeling his body wake up a little.

,,I can teach you. If you want to,’’ he said softly. Nite looked flustered at him before he shrugged.

,,Well, I don’t know how… _useful,_ that would be. For either you or me,’’ he said slowly. Seymore remembered faintly that he himself had said something similar at some point.

,,Not everything has to be useful, Nite. Sometimes it just has to be fun. You’re a quick learner, and at some point, if you _want_ to leave the castle, you’ll have to learn to cook,’’ he said with a small smile. ,,I mean, you can eat at inns and such, but that’s just wasteful of your money, really.’’

,,I’m _loaded_ ,’’ he stated. ,,Like money would be the problem while being out there,’’ he grumbled.

,,Your _mother_ has a lot of money,’’ Seymore corrected him, ,,and I’m sure you have some kind of savings, but they won’t last forever. Trust me, when I left home, I had _nothing_ and I was _lucky_ that I got the chance that I got back then,’’ he said firmly, but not unkindly. This seemed to interest Nite again.

,,Where did you go?’’ The troll suddenly seemed like he regretted saying anything, but the sorcerer didn’t budge. ,,Where were you, before you came here?’’ he asked again.

,,… I… was with a traveling troupe of various entertainers,’’ he said slowly. ,,Musicians, poets, actors… Many creative and talented people, but all on the road for adventures beyond what I’ve _ever_ thought possible, for myself,’’ he said, looking down. ,,It didn’t pay much. I had almost nothing when I came here, besides the clothes on my body. I left a lot of my things behind, but savings? I had none.’’

Nite didn’t push further, to his surprise. He guessed it was because of his birthday, maybe, or that Nite had grown so much, to the point where he could see when Seymore wasn’t feeling like he wanted to talk.

,,I want to hear more about that. But not today,’’ he finally said, standing up and looking excited again. ,,I know breakfast wasn’t that great, but I… I _have_ something for you, you’ll _love!_ ’’ he smirked, reaching out to grab the troll’s hand.

,,Slow down, Nite, I need to clear the table!’’ he said, but didn’t get the chance to do so before Nite rushed him out of the dining area. He didn’t stop rushing before they reached to stairs in the entrance hallway, leading to the first floor. ,,Where are we going?’’ he asked, but the young man just kept dragging him along.

,,To a place I _doubt_ you’ve ever seen!’’ he said excitedly. Seymore couldn’t imagine there were a room in the castle he hadn’t seen _at least_ once, but he had to bite his tongue when Nite guided him down hallways and up staircases he hadn’t seen for a while, until they reached a wall, seemingly bare. ,,Just a second.’’

The troll understood why he had never been _here,_ as Nite proceeded to magically unlock _the wall_ , until a door formed. Even though Seymore flinched, the sorcerer didn’t take further notice and just took his hand anew, guiding him further into depths of the castle he had never seen.

,,Are you sure I’m allowed to be here?’’ he said cautiously as he looked around. The hallways around the castle were in light grey stone, always well-lit and plastered with paintings and decorations from around all the realms of Aenamo. But these hallways were dark, magically lit with a soft, green light, and the only decorations were the spiderwebs up against the ceiling.

,,Yes it’s alright, as long as you’re with me,’’ Nite smiled without commenting on the troll’s discomfort.

,,Where are you taking me?’’ he asked, as they finally stopped at a heavy looking double door. Nite turned around, smiled, and pushed the doors open before he with a snap of his fingers lit the otherwise dark and gloomy room up.

Seymore were blinded briefly, before he finally got pushed into the room. He didn’t know what he had expected, but when he opened his eyes anew, all he saw was books; shelfs so full to the brim, tall and wide, holding books that would take many life times to read to an end. He had never known this room had existed, never known of any _library_ this full, and he was in awe for a moment.

,,Is this… your mothers study chamber?’’ he asked slowly, but Nite shook his head.

,,No, for some reason my mother has an extensive literature collection as well. Like, _everything_ you can think of. Not every book is in the common language, but by far the most are,’’ he shrugged. Then his eyes lit up anew, before he pulled Seymore with him again.

,,But, why are we _here?_ ’’ he asked, as Nite pushed him into a big, pillow like chair on the floor.

,,Because you said you like to _read_ ,’’ he explained. ,,I can’t give you much, because… what would I give you? How would I get it in time? _But_ , I can share, all of this,’’ he said excitedly, as if he had found the most magnificent loophole he could come up with. ,,Of course I can’t _give_ you the library. _I’m_ barely allowed to be here. But she doesn’t use it much. And I know she wouldn’t mind us being _here_ , as long as we don’t roam around the other rooms in this part of the castle,’’ he explained, sitting down beside Seymore with a small stack of books in his lap.

,,That’s… amazing, Nite. It’s very thoughtful of you,’’ he smiled. Nite blushed for a moment, and Seymore suddenly got the strange feeling that he wanted to _kiss_ the short human, before he shook the feeling of.

,,I know, I’m pretty great,’’ he said softly. ,,But _these_ I can give you,’’ he said, finally handing the troll the books he had been carrying. ,,She won’t miss them.’’

,,Why not?’’ he said suspiciously as he looked down, reading the titles. They weren’t in the common language. They were in _troll_.

,,You’ve probably read them before, I don’t know. I don’t _actually_ know what kind of books they are, if they are fact or fiction, or whatnot,’’ he admitted, looking over Seymore’s shoulder. ,,But she can’t read them. My mother doesn’t really have an interest in languages, but she knows elvish and the sorts of that. It’s important for many types of magic,’’ he explained.

,,… I haven’t read these since I was a child,’’ he chuckled, looking at the four books in front of him. ,,These two are children’s books,’’ he explained. ,,This is a book we always read in school. Or, I think I maybe was the only one, that _actually_ read it,’’ he smiled, showing off the third book. ,,I don’t think I’ve read this before. I don’t recognize it,’’ he said, looking at the last book.

,,Well, one out of four isn’t that bad, I guess,’’ he shrugged, but shrieked when the troll suddenly, effortlessly, picked up the human, sat him on his lap and hugged him tightly, _sincerely_.

,, _Thank you_ , Nite,’’ he said, not realizing that the sorcerer had frozen up. When he did, he released him, but Nite didn’t get down from his lap. ,,I’m sorry, I shouldn’t just _grab you_ like this,’’ he chuckled nervously.

,,That’s… okay…’’ he said, looking away from the troll. ,,It’s good, you’re happy. I… _uhm_ , I like when you’re happy. I just… You haven’t hugged me before, I just… wasn’t prepared,’’ he shrugged nervously.

Seymore smiled gently when Nite finally peeked up at him again. He slowly put the books down, and then just let Nite sit there, for as long as he needed. It seemed like the sorcerer didn’t know what to do, but the troll was in no rush, and just continued to smile at him.

,,… Is this alright? Do you want me to get down, so you can read?’’ he asked, eyeing the books.

,,No, not necessarily. If you want to get down, it’s fine, of course. I just wanted to see… what you wanted to do, really. If you didn’t want to be this close, or just stay, you know,’’ he explained. ,,You’ve come very far, Nite. When all this started a month ago, I _never_ thought you even _think_ about my birthday,’’ he chuckled. He stopped, as soon as he felt Nite’s long fingers against his chin, pulling it slightly so the troll would look at him.

,,Yerh, I didn’t really want you near me, back then,’’ he giggled, making Seymore’s cheeks flush, but he wasn’t sure the human noticed the color in his dark, green cheeks.

,,What made you change your mind?’’ he asked quietly, curiously.

,,… You did, of course. Either you’re a very good acter,’’ he said, leaning against the troll’s pounding chest, ,,or… you really _do_ want to talk to me. It’s very _easy_ to be lonely, but it’s even easier to _stay_ lonely,’’ he said quietly. ,,I didn’t want company. I _know_ you didn’t want that, either. But I guess… that’s what makes us _great_ company, for each other,’’ he chuckled faintly.

,,I guess… you’re right,’’ he said, softly resting his hand on the sorcerer’s back. He didn’t hug him tightly, he just let his arms around him ever so slightly.

,,… Troll’s like to be touched, don’t they?’’ he asked suddenly.

,,… Why would you ask that now?’’ he answered slowly. Nite shrugged, but didn’t leave his comfortable seat.

,,Because I don’t really understand you’re abstinence from your instincts. I mean, trolls are _physical_ , you’ve said that yourself. I know humans can get depressed from being alone, but as far as I know… trolls go into some sort of _hibernation_ when they are without some sort of _touch_ ,’’ he said concerned.

,,Oh, so that’s what you worry about,’’ Seymore said, slowly understanding the young man’s fears. ,,Yes, that’s right. But… that doesn’t _necessarily_ mean sex or even skin to skin contact,’’ he explained. ,,Some creatures need more social interaction than others. And by default, trolls communicate very simply… or _primitively,_ with each other. Thus, trolls prefer to be with their own kind, mostly, so they won’t go mad in a world that doesn’t understand their needs.’’

,,But _why_ wouldn’t the world know about all of this? Trolls aren’t a new species, as far as I know,’’ he asked, looking at Seymore again.

,,Because trolls are rough. They play rough, they talk loudly, and they mostly just want to nap together,’’ he shrugged. ,,Not many other species are down with that,’’ he explained.

,,You’re not like that,’’ he noted, straightening his back, but still sitting in the troll’s lap.

,,No, but I think I _was_ in some sort of hibernation. I don’t… I’m not depressed, like that. I have a quiet life, but that was what I wanted, when I came here,’’ he said. ,,But… I do find that I smile more now, than before…’’

Nite looked perplexed, before he smiled back, almost shyly. He liked to witness all of these faces, that he wasn’t even sure Nite himself knew he had. Seymore slowly cupped the human’s cheeks, teasingly making his smile wider.

,,… I can touch you, right?’’ the sorcerer said, slowly reaching for Seymore’s hands.

,,Here? In the secret library, where we’re not _really_ allowed to be?’’ he asked, but couldn’t help but smirk.

,,Oh come on. It’s your birthday. Let me _celebrate_ you,’’ he teased, making the troll shiver slightly. ,,And what do _you_ have in mind? No one said it had to be anything _perverse_ ,’’ he smirked, leaning against the troll’s heavy body.

,,I can _feel_ you,’’ he commented, grinding slowly against the smaller man, who apparently hadn’t been aware of his own erection before now. To the sorcerer’s delight, it was also very clear that the troll wasn’t uninterested.

,,I’m not the only one, I see,’’ he smirked, letting a careful hand in between Seymore’s legs.

,,Is this a part of my present?’’ the troll whispered, already panting slightly as the younger man loosened the troll’s pants.

,,I mean, if you want it to be,’’ he shrugged, standing up to sit between the troll’s legs instead. Then he pulled the pants down, letting the big, half-erect cock out of its fabric prison. ,,I would still do it, even if it wasn’t your birthday, you know that, right?’’ he asked, licking from the base to the tip. The troll groaned and closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling when Nite finally took it back into his mouth.

This was better than sitting alone in a tent in the woods, drinking and wondering why he would go back to the castle, he thought. He leaned back into the soft pillow-chair, trying just to relax and not think too hard. Not about what would happen later. Not about how he really wished that Nite had kissed him, while he was on his lap. Not about how much he wanted all of _this_ to be his everyday life; sneaking away in crevices of the castle, touching each other, forgetting about his adult responsibilities, just for a while.

Nite was right when he said that Seymore was young, barely just an adult. Although the troll often felt more like what his years would have been in a human’s lifespan, he found himself feeling _younger_ when he was with Nite. If he was trying to keep up with the teenager, or just because he felt like he could be himself, he wasn’t sure about.

But when they were like this, so physical close, he didn’t think about the haunting ice blue eyes. He didn’t think about his chores or his problems from the past, he just thought about how he would love to touch Nite all these places, making him just as much of a moaning mess as he’d been before.

,,Take your clothes off,’’ Seymore said with his raspy voice, pulling his own shirt of as Nite enthusiastically got rid of his sweater, shoes and pants. ,,Come,’’ he said, guiding him up on his lap again.

Nite seemed confused for a moment, before he shrieked as Seymore rotated him, the sorcerer’s head hanging down between the troll’s legs, all while Seymore began to suck the human off greedily.

,, _Warn me_ next time!’’ he moaned, jerking unsteadily in the air. Seymore was strong, and Nite was light, so he could easily hold his hips in the air. ,,By _Am_ , how are you so _good_ at this?’’ he whined, slowly grabbing the big cock in front of his face.

,,Practice,’’ Seymore mumbled somewhere between the sorcerer’s legs. Nite moaned and swore, praised and whined, all while stroking the troll’s fat cock, covered in spit and precum. The younger man couldn’t concentrate while Seymore held him like this. He couldn’t blame him, but most of all, Seymore wanted to edge himself while he listened to Nite’s lewd moans and to the taste of the sorcerer’s precum.

Considering Nite had come to Seymore because he couldn’t _come_ , it was fairly easy for the troll to get him to the point. Nite was sensitive and they had a good rhythm together. It didn’t take him long before Nite moaned loudly, coming _hard_ into Seymore’s mouth, while the troll put his cock back into the human’s open mouth.

He swallowed down greedily, as he firmly held Nite’s head in place, careful not to choke him. The vibrations against his cock, as the human moaned out his orgasm, was pure bliss and he wanted every second of it. Seymore didn’t stop sucking and licking, so Nite didn’t stop moaning.

,,I’m gonna come,’’ the troll grunted, letting go of the sorcerer’s head, so he could choose himself. Nite took as deep of a breath he could, considering his position, before he went as far down the cock as he could, spitting and moaning as Seymore filled his mouth and throat. He swallowed intensely, trying to not spill anything on the pillows, but to no avail. Even if it hadn’t taken as long as last time, Seymore could barely remember when he had shot this much, and he grumbled happily as he felt the younger man clean him off afterwards.

,, _Fuck_ , it got everywhere,’’ he panted as Seymore slowly sat him down. His face was covered in saliva and cum, and the troll gently tried to wipe it off. ,,You came so much,’’ he noted, blushing as Seymore mindlessly licked his fingers afterwards.

,,I can help you clean,’’ he assured him, but Nite just shook his head.

,,I know you hate this, but it’s faster if I use _this_ ,’’ he said, manifesting a small, see-through ball of magic in his hand. Seymore whined and left his comfortable seat, as Nite proceeded to take care of the stains. Luckily, nothing exploded.

,,Thank you,’’ he sighed relieved, sitting down in another pillow-like chair. To his surprise, he soon felt the small human on top of him again, but this time it was his back against the troll’s chest. ,,You don’t want to get dressed?’’ he asked, an arm curling lazily around the human.

,,Nah, maybe later,’’ he smiled, handing the troll books back to Seymore and covering them both in heavy blankets. ,,Read for me,’’ he said, as he laid down in the troll’s embrace.

,,You want me to read _troll_ to you?’’ he chuckled, as Nite lit a candle on the small table beside them. Seymore chose one of the children’s books, the one with small, fairy tale like stories in it.

,,No, you can translate, right? I don’t speak troll,’’ he said, closing his eyes. Seymore curled his arm a little more around the human, to hold the book with both hands. He looked relaxed like this, happy, almost.

,,Sure. This book is called _Stories from Gnar_ ,’’ he said, opening the book. It hadn’t been opened before, still crisp and new.

,,Is Gnar a place or a name?’’ he asked, eyes still closed.

,,It’s a place. This book is used for bedtime stories for small trolls,’’ he smiled. ,,Gnar is where trolls are from, on the Mainland. Down there, trolls look a lot different, or so the stories tell,’’ he said. Then he cleared his throat, before he began to read: ,,Chapter one: Shy, little lamb. Once in Gnar, a lamb ran far, away from all it knew. When it came back, it’d been attacked, the question was; by whom?’’ Nite chuckled lightly, melodic. ,,What is it?’’

,,I didn’t expect it to rhyme,’’ he said.

,,It doesn’t normally do so,’’ he said. ,,But it sounds better, when you translate it. It’s still the same meaning, I’m not making up my own stuff, I promise,’’ he smiled. He then continued: ,,The lamb then cried, its owners tried, to get it to calm down. Trolls don’t pry, they only tried, to turn upside its frown. But in the woods, the wolf just stood, he glared at the lamb. When trolls went by, he took it aside, into his mouth so damp.’’

,,I don’t think I like where this is going,’’ Nite said, still chuckling lightly. Seymore caressed the small human, cuddling closer against him underneath the blankets.

,,It’s quite easy,’’ he said. ,,If the lamb hadn’t been so shy and out of it, the wolf hadn’t had the chance to eat it. It’s very easy for trolls, _speak up, or be run over_ , kind of stuff,’’ he shrugged.

,,The lamb wasn’t _shy_ , it was _shocked!_ ’’ Nite protested.

,,That’s the same for trolls,’’ he assured him. ,,You either speak your truth, or end up being eaten alive.’’

,,Wow. Harsh,’’ he said, looking up at the troll again. ,,You’re very good at this. Translating on the spot, I mean,’’ he said, looking at the words, as to see if there was some hidden secret he had missed before. But there weren’t any.

,,Thank you,’’ he smiled. ,,I… I actually used to read for my former lover, like this. He would read elvish to me, and I would read troll,’’ he explained. Nite nodded, seeming slightly lost in thoughts.

,,That makes sense…’’ he said slowly, yawning suddenly. He cuddled closer to the troll again, his gaze still on the book. ,,Do you mind if I close my eyes for a minute? I didn’t sleep much last night,’’ he admitted. ,,And you’re very… warm. This is really nice,’’ he smiled.

,,Yerh… it is,’’ he said slowly, slightly caressing Nite’s arms underneath the blanket. ,,Get some rest, Nite. Thank you, for… _all_ of this,’’ he said gently.

,,Hey, don’t mention it. What are friends for?’’ he said, closing his eyes and cuddling up against Seymore’s chest. ,,Just move me if I get too heavy or something. But don’t leave this place without me. I wouldn’t want you to get lost or break anything.’’

It only took a moment before the sorcerer was fast asleep. He didn’t read much, he just sat there, for a while, studying the small human in a way he hadn’t done before. He had never thought Nite would mention him as his _friend_. It made him happy and weirdly flustered.

Nite wasn’t beautiful, he had thought. His face was always frowning, making all his undesirable traits that much more noticeable. But he had never seen him sleeping, relaxed, like this before. And while Nite still looked nothing near beautiful as a pixie, Seymore found that it didn’t really matter.

He ended up closing the book, moving around in the pillow-like chair a little, until he got comfortable, falling asleep with the small human in his arms.

For once, it actually _felt_ like a birthday, he thought.


	5. 5) Together, alone

Seymore once loved a man, so beautiful, that he hardly believed it was fair. But the strangest part was that this beautiful creature loved him back, with all that he could muster.

Ruvaen was a pixie, that much like other pixies wanted to entertain and to be loved. He loved the spotlight, and was the head of the entertainment troupe that Seymore got into, after moving away from his village.

The pixie was kind and charismatic, witted and skilled, but what most saw, was how outrageously beautiful he was. Elves and fairies would flock around him, harpies and serpents alike, but even creatures who didn’t _care_ about shallow things like _beauty_ , would glance his way too, when they thought no one else looked.

Seymore had always known that Ruvaen was beautiful, but mostly, he felt so _grateful_ that the pixie was his friend. The other entertainers would belittle the troll, make fun of all his insecurities and make him feel _stupid_.

But not Ruvaen. When Seymore was down, he would take him away, looking at the stars at night and tell him all about life, as far as he knew it. Seymore would sit there, listen, and feel like the whole world was his oyster, and that he could do anything. That was the beauty of Ruvaen.

All that was a long time ago, but he still remembered it all so clearly. He remembered how happy he had felt, that something _finally_ worked for him. That someone could _actually_ love him. Which made him all the sadder when he remembered how he had fled in the end.

Nite wasn’t anything like Ruvaen. He wasn’t beautiful, and he wasn’t kind. Not in the same way, at least. But as time passed, it was harder for the troll to recall _what_ had been so special about the ice blue eyes, and it was all the easier to see the mahogany in front of him.

When he had awoken on his birthday from their nap together, Nite still in his arms, it was hard to ignore how hard his chest had pounded. It hadn’t been his plan to fall for Nite, in fact quite the opposite. He had merely indulged in Nite’s sudden interest in him, careful about not getting too _close_ , emotionally, to hurt the human.

But now he feared that _he_ would be hurt. He had carefully lifted Nite that day, so he himself could get up and get dressed. As he promised, he hadn’t left the library, he simply just sat and read silently, while Nite kept slumbering.

The book Seymore hadn’t read before, was surprisingly rather erotic. He hadn’t read many erotic novels in the past, but he hadn’t expected the book to hit so close to his kinks. Trolls wrote pretty good porn, he thought mindlessly, as he read through the pages.

Since then, he had tried to distance himself a little from Nite, regarding his emotions. That was the biggest reason to why he got up in the morning, before Nite would wake up. The way he had looked when he woke up from his nap, had almost melted Seymore’s tortured heart right then and there, and he tried to push away all those feelings he had had that evening.

Nite was so many things. But most of all, Seymore knew that the human shared more sides of himself, than he had ever done with anyone else. There was something so sincere in the way he acted, so curious about the world, yet so knowledgeable about things he shouldn’t be aware of.

Seymore admired him. In a way that felt somewhat familiar.

Although Nite had opened up a lot during the last months, he still suffered from many of his old mood swings. It seemed to trigger him every time his mother wrote to him, but Seymore never really learned much about the letters’ contents. Every now and again he would mention something she had wrote to him or otherwise, but Seymore didn’t pry, as Nite would often just shut down and remove himself from their conversation.

Besides that, every time Nite would hit a dry spot in his training, he would be so frustrated that Seymore heard shouting and explosions for _hours_ before the sorcerer calmed down. He really wanted to help him, but what could he do? His fear of magic was, in the end, bigger than his desire to help Nite to calm down.

While he dusted away in the hallways, he had plenty of time to think and dream and _despise_ himself. He didn’t remember it to be _this_ hard to be in love, but on the other hand, it had been a while since last time, and this was all so different.

Trolls was simple creatures, he kept telling himself. It had been easy for all his brothers, and even easier for his sister, he thought. But on the other hand, Seymore wasn’t like his siblings, and he had always known that life and love wouldn’t be a breeze for him, like in the novels he read.

The few trolls he had been with, hadn’t been great successes. While Seymore adored the beautiful features and pale complexion of his former lover, he was still very much attracted to his own kind as well, with broad hips and strong bodies, golden eyes and green and brown colors. He had never been in doubt that he could be very happy with a troll wife, but it would also be very unlikely to find a female troll that would have found _him_ attractive.

When he went back to the rundown part of the castle where Nite had his quarters, he couldn’t hear snoring anymore. If Nite was in his room or his study chamber, Seymore didn’t know, but he wasn’t in the basement chamber as far as he was concerned. With that in mind, he went to the washroom to start doing laundry, while his thoughts mindlessly wandered anew…

… ,,What? I thought she told you?’’ Nite said as he finished his breakfast. He read through his letter again, the one he received right before the troll’s birthday.

,,Well… no. She didn’t write much,’’ he said slowly. ,,I don’t know why I thought she remembered it,’’ he shrugged as he cleared the table.

The Madam hadn’t remembered Seymore’s birthday after all, but Nite had requested that Seymore took a couple of days off. She denied it, and when he tried to spin it, so they _both_ could leave the castle, she wrote to Seymore as well, reminding him of how important it was that Nite stayed at the castle.

,,… She should have,’’ he said slowly. ,,You’ve been here for, what? 15 years?’’

,,… 16, 17 next year, actually,’’ he answered. ,,I don’t really blame her. And my birthday was really nice, so… in the end, it was _good_ that I couldn’t go out,’’ he smiled. Nite blinked a couple of times, before he looked down at the letter again, but Seymore could see how hard it was for him not to smile.

,,Yerh, it was a pretty great day,’’ he mumbled satisfied. ,,Have you read through the books yet?’’ he asked as he looked up again. He followed the troll into the kitchen, where he began washing dishes.

,,Not _all_ of them,’’ he assured him. He had already read through the fourth book, the one he didn’t recognize at first. He didn’t want to read _that_ to Nite, as he felt the tension between them was big enough as of now, and he didn’t want to give Nite weird ideas of trolls.

,,Well, if you ever run out of reading material, we could always go back to the library,’’ he shrugged, trying to be casual about it. ,,I couldn’t find any other books written in _troll_ , but there’s _a lot_ of books, really!’’

,,I might take you up on that offer later on,’’ he smiled. It had only been two days since his birthday. Nite hadn’t really mentioned the library since, and nothing else had happened between them, other than their regular small talk.

Seymore wasn’t sure if he preferred this way of never mentioning it, to the point where he would start to believe it was all some sort of weird dream, but it was indeed easier for him to tackle his feelings like this, than if Nite persistently wanted to talk and touch at any given moment.

Sometimes his mind slipped. He thought about waking up by the sorcerer’s side, give him a good morning kiss, and spend his days a little less rigid, a little less alone. For some reason, he thought a lot more about kissing Nite than he would have guessed. It felt weird, and made it all so much clearer that he should worry more about falling too hard himself, instead of if Nite fell for him.

,,Can _I_ learn troll?’’ he asked suddenly. It almost made Seymore jump with the sudden interruption of his thoughts.

,,… Troll is mostly _growling_. It’s hard to read, if you don’t speak it,’’ he explained. He didn’t want to explain further, scared that Nite would be aware of it if Seymore slipped into his mother tongue while too excited. He liked to have the little privacy that gave him.

,,… Growling?’’ he asked confused. ,,Okay, then it might not be the easiest to read,’’ he said slowly.

,,Are you interested in languages?’’ he asked instead, and Nite nodded excitedly.

,, _Yes!_ A lot of races try to protect their magic, by writing in their own first language. Copies can be inaccurate, but many species also destroy any copies there might be of specific magic,’’ he explained. ,,Of course I know the common language, but that’s because that’s all my mother was taught when she came here. She has taught me elvish, and I’ve taught myself some dwarven and a little mermish as well,’’ he said proudly.

,,That’s very good. You’re very studious,’’ he smiled. He didn’t even think about it when he placed one of his big, heavy hands on top of the sorcerer’s head, gently patting him. Nite seemed surprised, but didn’t pull away. The troll, on the other hand, yanked his arm back as if he suddenly felt scolded. ,,My apologies,’’ he said nervously.

,,Why are you apologizing? Silly troll,’’ he smiled, grabbing Seymore’s hand in both of his. He didn’t say it, but Seymore felt it clearly. ,,I like to study magic. Aenamo is big, _huge_ , and there’s _so much_ magic everywhere.’’ He then looked carefully up at Seymore, so sincerely. ,,I _wish_ you could understand how wonderful it all are.’’

Seymore didn’t reply, he just smiled. After gently squeezing Nite’s hands, as he often did before he released himself from the younger man’s grip, he slowly broke their contact and continued washing the dishes.

,,I hope you, at some point, will do great things with your magic, Nite,’’ he smiled. Nite nodded, almost proudly, before he left the small kitchen while the troll looked after him. With time he had grown more used to this kind of ending to their conversations…

That night, Seymore woke up by gentle hands that shook him lightly. Like the last time he woke like this, the candle was lit, and the troll was confused for a moment before he realized who’s hands it was.

,,Hm, what is it? Is everything alright, sir?’’ Seymore asked sleepily. Nite sat down beside the troll on the mattress, as he suddenly realized why Nite was here.

,,Don’t call me _sir_ ,’’ he said sternly, before moving a little closer to the suddenly very awake troll. ,,You, uhm… You said I should just _wake_ you, if I, ah… _needed_ anything?’’ he said slowly, as he without further notice took Seymore’s hand and placed it on his thigh.

,,… That’s right, I _did_ say something like that,’’ he mumbled, slightly stroking the soft, exposed skin. ,,Lay down,’’ he said, moving to give the sorcerer space.

Nite happily did as told, removing his shirt in one fluid motion as he laid down, eagerly waiting to be touched. Not to Seymore’s surprise, he was already hard and twitching at this point.

,,Do you even _try_ to take care of it yourself, or have you just given up on that?’’ Seymore said, more playfully than harsh. Nite panted, but smiled regardless when the troll slowly began to lick his member.

,,Seymore, I touch myself, every day. If I didn’t do so, I would wake you up every night, and that would take a toll on your body when you get up as early as you do,’’ he explained, as a matter of fact. Seymore stopped in a motion, just looking dumfounded up at the small man in front of him. ,, _What?_ ’’ he asked, slightly jerking his hips forward to get the older man to touch him again.

,,Well, that’s very _thoughtful_ of you,’’ he smiled between licks. Nite moaned surprised, but kept looking down at the troll. ,,But that’s quite alright, Nite. You can wake me up, if you need to. Just give me a moment to figure out what’s going on. I sleep better like this, anyway,’’ he explained, before he finally sucked down on the whole thing, feeling the twitching organ fill his mouth.

,,Ah, I’ll remember that,’’ he panted, thrusting his hips against Seymore’s open mouth. ,,It… it feels _better_ this way, and it doesn’t take as long,’’ he moaned. ,,You’re so much _better_ at this,’’ he said, closing his eyes and giving totally into his pleasure.

Seymore couldn’t keep down the groan in the back of his throat. His big hands grabbed around Nite’s tiny waist, pulling him closer to his hungry mouth. He kept him there, in his tight grip, slightly fondling his stomach, his legs and ass.

,,Sl-slow down. I’m already _so_ close,’’ he whined. He hadn’t warned him before, and surprisingly, he didn’t do that now; he just wanted it to last longer. Seymore kept his big hands firmly on the small human’s ass, pulling his head slightly away.

,,You don’t wanna come yet? That’s a shame. I want to _taste_ you, _so bad,_ ’’ he said, slightly growling as his eyes pierced into Nite’s. The sorcerer whined, covering his face by the words as he suddenly jerked forward, before he came all over the troll’s face. ,, _Hormones_ ,’’ he growled, before he began to lick his lips and wipe his face.

,,It’s not _fair_ ,’’ Nite whined, panting as he looked at the playful smile on the troll’s face. ,,I wanted it to _last_. Then you say… _lewd stuff_ , like that… _fuck you_ ,’’ he whined, moaning as Seymore cleaned him off.

,,How long does it take when you do it yourself?’’ he asked, before he laid down beside the small man. He didn’t start to undress, because he still wanted Nite to set the pace. While he _hoped_ that the sorcerer would be as willing to please him as the other times, he would _never_ dare to ask him for it.

,,I… I don’t come,’’ he panted, looking confused at Seymore. ,,I _touch_ myself, just like… uhm, just like I did before you… _touched me_ , the first time,’’ he explained. ,,But I don’t really come. It feels _good_ , but then it just… stops working…’’ he said, finally running his hands down the troll’s big body.

,,Then I kind of understand why you come so easily. You work yourself up _for days_ before you come here,’’ he said slowly, feeling his own excitement as Nite pulled the troll’s pants down, to reveal the leaking cock. He didn’t get down between his legs, he just laid beside him, stroking him slowly at first.

,,Yerh, that might be why,’’ he sighed, looking fondly down the troll’s body. ,,Do you like it when I touch you? Or would you rather just do it yourself?’’ he asked suddenly. ,,I know you don’t have much privacy. But it’s _alright_ if you need time for yourself, if you…-’’

,,I prefer this,’’ he interrupted, feeling his cock twitch in the sorcerer’s long hands. ,,I have a little more _control_ , in this aspect. You can tell me if you want me to hurry up, or if you want me to last longer,’’ he panted, feeling the sorcerer tightening his grip a little.

,,Is that normal? That you can control it yourself?’’ he asked, almost a little concerned.

,,Well, I don’t know about humans. Not for trolls. We tend to go for more rounds, than lasting longer. But I… I’ve had a lot of training,’’ he explained. ,,Focus more on the head. Like this,’’ he said, curling his hand around Nite’s to better guide him.

His hand wasn’t as cold as it usually was. He seemed flustered, but excited, as he tried to mimic the troll’s motions. With his other hand, Seymore grabbed around the base, holding it firmly while he helped Nite stroke him.

,,It’s so big,’’ Nite muttered, trying to keep up the pace. ,,Do you prefer if I use my mouth?’’ he said, his big eyes looking almost hungrily at the troll again.

,,I like both,’’ he panted, but welcomed it as Nite went down between his legs. With one hand he held, tightly, around the base, just as Seymore had done before, and the other held the length while he licked up and down the shaft.

,,I want to learn,’’ he said calmly, his lips soft against the leaking glans. ,,Guide me,’’ he said. It wasn’t a demand, he wasn’t begging. It was just as matter-of-factly as Nite was.

,,Open wide. Put your tongue out,’’ he said with his raspy voice. Seymore wasn’t used to being the teacher like this, but a strange delight in being able to _teach Nite to his own specific preferences_ , made it tingle unbearably. ,,Your grip is good. Move your hand slower, and all the way down,’’ he said, moaning slightly as Nite began to suck him off again.

He liked this, he thought to himself. How interested and open Nite was about all of this. He was awkward and shy at times, but mostly he wanted to feel good, and he wanted _Seymore_ to feel good as well. How he didn’t find the troll disgusting or frightening, wondered and amazed him.

,,Tab my leg if you need air,’’ he said, gently putting his hand on the back of Nite’s head as he pressed him further down his cock. He held him there for a moment, just enjoying the look in the sorcerer’s eyes, as he looked up at the troll with pure bliss. He gasped for air when Seymore finally let him go, but he went right back down as soon as his lungs where filled. ,,Damn it’s good,’’ he groaned, lightly thrusting against Nite’s open mouth.

,,… Do it again,’’ he moaned between sucks. ,,I want it all,’’ he panted, trying get more of the big cock into his mouth.

,, _Greedy, aren’t you? I like that_ ,’’ he growled, knowing Nite wouldn’t understand him. He held around Nite’s face with both of his big hands, slowly pushing deeper and deeper into his throat, but still not able to get it that far down. He could feel the human’s teeth scrape him slightly, knowing it would be impossible for him not to do so with the cock this far down. Nite sputtered and gasped against the cock, drooling violently in the process. His eyes were teary but he didn’t pull away, not even when Seymore let go of his face. ,,Hey, don’t hurt yourself,’’ he panted, pulling out of his mouth.

,,But it feels _good_ ,’’ he protested, getting up on his knees and showing of how hard he already was again. ,, _Seymore_ , put it back in, it feels _so good_ ,’’ he whined.

,,… Lay down again,’’ he said instead, gently puffing the human down onto the mattress when he protested.

,,No, _I’m_ going to touch you, Seymore!’’ he protested, before the troll fully stripped out of his pants, placing himself right above the human, while his own head was in front of Nite’s hard member. ,,… _Oh_ ,’’ he said, stretching his neck the slightest to reach the heavy cock again.

,,Yes, like _that_ ,’’ he hummed, careful not to choke him. He preferred the position where he was on the bottom, but Nite didn’t seem dissatisfied with the turn of events. ,, _Horny teenagers,_ ’’ he growled, before he began to suck Nite off anew. ,,Tap my leg for air,’’ he said again, to remind Nite how to get the heavy troll off him.

Unlike the time in the library, Nite could hold his focus better on the troll while he sucked him off. He wondered if it would take him longer to come this time, but he could feel how eager the sorcerer became every time he thrusted forward, as far down his throat as he could. Nite’s hands jerked the troll of furiously, while his tongue danced across the sensitive skin.

,,Can I come, Nite? Stars, your mouth feels good,’’ he groaned. He only pulled out so the sorcerer would be able to answer.

,,By Am, _yes. Come in my mouth,_ ’’ he moaned. Seymore got up on his knees, before he squatted over the small human, grabbed his head and guided him down his cock.

,,It’ll be a second, I promise, just relax,’’ he panted, thrusting forward in fast, short motions. Nite’s body jerked violently underneath him. He could hear him moan against his cock, but he didn’t seem to dislike being held in place like this. ,,Open _wide_ ,’’ he moaned, lifting himself slightly to not choke the sorcerer when he came.

It wasn’t as easy to aim as he had thought, so even though Nite’s mouth was wide open, his whole face got covered. It only seemed to turn him on even more, because he beggingly guided Seymore’s hand down to his dick again, while the troll continued to ride out his own orgasm.

,,You like it all over your face?’’ Seymore asked while he began to stroke the human again.

,, _Yes_ ,’’ he whined, gulping down intensely. ,,I’m _so_ fucking horny,’’ he moaned, thrusting against the troll’s big hand.

,,I can _see_ that,’’ he smiled. His other hand went down the sorcerer’s body, calmly caressing the perky nipples. As expected, he was sensitive there, too.

,,I feel so _dirty_ ,’’ he moaned. ,,Your scent, your _taste_ , all over me,’’ he blabbered, grabbing the troll’s arm, as if he needed it to keep himself steady.

,,I see you don’t mind the _taste_ so much anymore,’’ he smiled. ,,Damn, you’re leaking. You’re close, aren’t you?’’ he panted, looking down at the nodding human.

,, _Yes_ ,’’ he moaned. ,,I-in your mouth. _Please_ , I want to come in your mouth,’’ he moaned. Seymore leaned down, sucking firmly until he heard the young man moan louder, and he felt the familiar jerking forward as Nite came, filling the troll’s mouth.

They laid down beside each other, both still panting slightly. The scent of sex filled the room, and Seymore was aware how dirty both his mattress and he himself was at this point, but he just laid there, feeling light and almost happy, but definitely relaxed. Nite wiped his face, a tired gaze in his eyes as he looked over at the troll.

,,Can I come back tomorrow?’’ he whispered, making Seymore chuckle slightly.

,,Yerh. Wake me up, anytime,’’ he whispered back.

Hesitantly, Nite came a little closer, trying to hug the troll. Seymore didn’t stop him, he just laid there, feeling the human’s skinny arms around his body. He let him lay there, until he could feel the light snoring, that he knew meant that Nite was asleep. Then he untangled himself, covering up the sorcerer with his blanket and blowing out the candle, as he laid back beside him, his back against his.

Nite came back the next night. And the night after that. Then it took him two days before he woke the troll up again. He never mentioned it during the day, but it was clear that he was much more comfortable with the troll now, than before. He wasn’t as angry and even when things didn’t work out for him, he wouldn’t be as down or hard on himself. While his mood-swings still were there, and it still made Seymore flee when too overwhelming, it wasn’t as bad as before the Madam had left.

Seymore didn’t know why he so often wanted to cuddle up against the sorcerer, or why he wanted to kiss him so badly. He didn’t know why he refused to do so, either. Maybe he was afraid to lose control and hurt the human, if he indulged too much into his feelings and lust? Or maybe he feared to be hurt himself, when Nite at some point would wake up and realize how stupid it all was. How he didn’t want to be with a troll, after all, and why Seymore was just as selfish as he himself knew he was…

Some weeks after his birthday, Nite convinced Seymore to go back to the library with him. The troll had mentioned in passing conversations that he had read through his books, and the younger man had insisted that he took a break to explore the library with him. And while Nite wasn’t particular interested in fiction, he still looked around the enormous place, trying to find something that would pique his interest.

It wasn’t hard for Seymore to find books to read. He had read a lot during his time in the Center Isles, and he found many books he remembered from that time. He felt rather content like this, winding down in the soft, pillow-like chair, with the human by his side as they both just sat and read for themselves.

,,I don’t really understand the point of fiction,’’ Nite proclaimed, reading through his book. ,,If it isn’t facts, what do I learn from it?’’ he said, an almost worried look in his eyes.

,,You don’t have to learn _at every given moment_ of the day, Nite,’’ Seymore said calmly. ,,We’re on a break. Fiction is like an _escapism_. You can indulge into another world, for a few moments,’’ he explained. ,,Besides, maybe you _do_ learn something. About yourself, about others. Just because it’s a fictive scenario, the _feelings_ can be real.’’

,,… So, what’s the point of romance?’’ he asked out of nowhere. It took Seymore a minute to figure out he meant _the genre_ , as his heart nearly skipped a beat. ,,I mean… I don’t get it? Wouldn’t you rather experience it, than read about it?’’ he asked, still looking into the book.

,,… Well, it’s like most genres, I guess. Sometimes, things like that can be nice and easy to read about,’’ he said slowly. ,,Why did you pick a romance novel?’’ he asked curiously.

,,Well, it was hard to tell it was about romance. The book is _green_. For some reason, I thought it would have something to do with nature, or such,’’ he grimaced. ,,And it’s not _bad_ , but I don’t really _get it_ , you know?’’ he said, turning the page.

,,What don’t you get?’’ he asked, a little absentminded.

,,I don’t get why these people _kiss_ all the time,’’ he said, not noticing how flustered the troll suddenly got. ,,I mean… Is that something you normally do? _We_ don’t kiss.’’ The words hang in the air, making the troll’s heart pound unbearably. He was sure Nite could hear it, but if he could, he ignored it.

,,… Kissing is very intimate, for many people…’’ he said slowly, refusing to look up from his book again.

,,… But… the other stuff isn’t? I mean, mutual masturbation, or whatever you would call it?’’ he asked, glancing up at the troll.

,, _Yes_ , it’s also intimate, but… in another way, I guess. I’ve… uhm, I’ve _wooed_ more people than I’ve kissed,’’ he said, finally closing the book as Nite silently studied him. ,,I’ve only kissed my past lovers,’’ he explained. Nite’s brows furrowed, almost concerned again.

,,… Aren’t we lovers, Seymore?’’ he asked. The words hang in the air, echoing in his ears. Nite didn’t seem hurt, he had just met something he couldn’t quite figure out. The older man cleared his throat, stretching his back a little.

,,Being lovers, for me at least, requires… romantic emotions,’’ he said slowly. ,,While some would call it a lover, if you have any intimate contact… I don’t. I’ve only called my boy- or girlfriends lovers. And that have only been with… You know, people I wanted to build a life together with. People I _hoped_ I would stay with, growing old together with, and the likes of that,’’ he said shakenly.

Nite closed his own book, eyeing the troll concerned. He didn’t look _hurt_ , but he looked just as anxious as when he had asked Seymore about troll hibernation.

,,… So, when do you leave?’’ Nite finally asked, his eyes never leaving the now confused troll.

,,I… what? I’m not leaving?’’ he said surprised.

,,… But you don’t plan to stay _here_ , with _me_ , either, am I wrong?’’ he asked. ,,I don’t… think I _get it_. I… I _thought_ we were lovers,’’ he admitted.

Seymore sat silently for a moment, wondering how to _explain_ what he meant. Nite had never had a father, never seen a _pair_ of people before. He wondered if he would feel rejected. And he felt _tempted_ to just _be_ Nite’s lover, for a moment, whatever he put into that word. He couldn’t imagine that Nite really _felt_ romantic feelings, as much as his hormones just raced around.

,,… We’re not lovers,’’ the troll finally said, firmly. ,,What we’re doing is for _pleasure._ That’s not the same as _love_ ,’’ he said, standing up slowly. ,,… If you’ll excuse me, I need to get back to work now,’’ he said, heading towards the door, but Nite grabbed his hand. Without even thinking about it, Seymore wretched himself loose of the sorcerer’s grip, looking back at the young man’s surprised gaze. ,, _What?_ ’’

,,… Nothing,’’ he said, looking down. His gaze was _hard_. Just as hard and hurt as when he talked with his mother. Seymore felt dizzy at the sight, suddenly unsure what was happening. He regretted pulling away, but when he tried to reach for the sorcerer, he stormed by him, leaving him alone in the library, as he elsewise had forbidden him.

Nite didn’t speak with him for the rest of the day. He didn’t visit Seymore’s room at night, and he didn’t greet him the next morning, either. When lunch came, he spoke to him as if nothing had happened, but ignored him or interrupted him every time Seymore tried to explain himself.

,,There’s nothing to talk about,’’ he shrugged, and left to study as usual.

That night he visited him anew, not even bothered to wait for the troll to be fully awake, before he undressed himself and awaited to be touched. But as he did, as soon as he came, he was all over the troll, no hesitations or malice in his actions.

He didn’t ask about lovers again, and he didn’t ask about kissing, either. A part of Seymore resented himself, because in some way or another, he had hurt Nite, he knew that. He came to realize, while Nite maybe didn’t understand the concept of _love_ , he did care deeply for the troll, and most of all, he wanted to keep Seymore here, at the castle, with himself.

If it was some sort of revenge, he didn’t know. Like to say, if _he_ had to stay, Seymore did as well. Being trapped at the castle with the young man didn’t sound like an unpleasant fate, he thought, but it could only exist in a vacuum, where the Madam wouldn’t return.

And at some point, she would. He knew and dreaded that. He hadn’t expected to feel like that, but the more time he spent with Nite, the more he realized how much he reminded him of a younger version of himself; trapped in a society he didn’t fit into, with family that didn’t understand him.

One night, he sat down at the table in the big dining hall, the last place he had seen Willa. Everything looked like it had looked that day, before he had set the table, as if time hadn’t passed at all. The chandelier was fixed; he guessed she had done that after he left her that night. He wondered if she was mad at him, after defending her son.

But wasn’t that what she had wanted? That he would care for and guard her son, while she was away? Was it because she feared Nite was in danger, or more likely because she couldn’t control him herself? He had so many questions, but only one knew the answers, it seemed. Nite didn’t know why he couldn’t leave the castle, and Seymore had no clue what to tell him when he kept asking for just _one_ reason.

He sighed lightly, before he placed the inked feather on the paper that he had brought with him. Would she respond? Would she even _care_ that Seymore wrote to her, now? He didn’t know, but in the end, his drive for an answer and his own curiosity was stronger.

He wrote, with shaky, barely readable letters:

_For Willa Greenlight_

_My apologies for not writing back sooner. I’m happy to report that your son has stayed at the castle ever since you left, with no attempts of escaping, my birthday included._

_He does ask a lot of questions. Mostly about why he can’t leave the castle. I’m unsure what to tell him._

_It has come to my attention that I can’t escort him out of the castle, either. Do you fear he would try to escape me? Or is the young man sick? I don’t fear for my own well-being, but I fear for his. If his isolation has something to do with his health, is there anything I need to be attentive about?_

_I know it’s not my place to snoop. I mean no disrespect. And I’m aware that I’ll probably not get a solid answer, but I do want to care for my young Master to the best of my abilities, and I feel it would help us both greatly with some knowledge of his house arrest._

_Otherwise, he is continuing his studies, as far as I know. He doesn’t treat me badly, don’t fear so. I tend to the castle as usually._

_I’m aware we didn’t part on the best terms. Although I have no place to speak to you like that, I stand by what I said…_

He stopped, looked at the words, before he crossed out the last sentence. He didn’t want to go that route. Instead, he wrote _‘I’m sorry. I hope you bear me no ill will, I just tried to help your son’_ , before he signed it. Then he copied the whole thing to another piece of paper, without the ink spills and crossed out sentence, before signing it again. He then folded the papers and put them in his back pocket, before he went back to his room.

He laid down on his mattress, his candle still lit, as he read through the raunchy troll book that Nite accidentally had given him. He knew all the _good_ pages a little too well, at this point. While he rarely touched himself now, he still liked to get a little hot and bothered, before Nite hopefully would visit his room.

The words were simple, the scenarios likewise. The man tried, endlessly, to woo the woman in the story, and unlike other trolls he had been with, she didn’t just throw herself at him. He would flirt and tease her, almost get what he wanted, before pulling away to build the mood. But when they finally got together, it was like how trolls liked to fuck; hard and intense, biting, scratching, kisses and noises so detailed described, that he could easily remember how it had been to be with troll women.

His first, brief girlfriend, had been rather kind towards him, up until they had sex. Seymore had been around 17, she was a couple of years older. She hadn’t been impressed with his _size_ , and he could barely hold it a few minutes before he came. It was messy and embarrassing, and she dumped him just a few days afterwards.

After that, he had been with a couple of trolls, but not that many. He liked when they had the control and just _used him_ as some sort of sex-toy, how rough they could be, and how many love-marks he would have afterwards, but they rarely wanted to meet up again.

He would have liked to be like the troll in the book, experienced and rough enough to tame a troll, but every aspect of Seymore was too small to dominate a female troll in heat. He knew very well that a smaller creature could dominate a bigger one, because Ruvaen liked to play those kinds of games with him, but back then, Seymore had also been _very_ willing to be in a submissive position.

He missed that, sometimes. Being at the mercy of the small pixie, all the while he could do whatever he pleased with him. He didn’t dislike teaching Nite how to touch him, or exploring the fair skin himself, but he missed the somewhat submissive role, he had often had with men.

As he read through his favorite parts, he couldn’t help but to feel excited. He absentmindedly touched himself through his pants, feeling hot and bothered already. He didn’t really notice anything around him, escaping peacefully into his book, his breath a little heavier at this point.

,,… Uhm, is it a good book?’’ he suddenly heard beside him. He hadn’t even been aware that Nite had went down into the room, and now the young man stood beside him, looking curious and flustered from the troll to the book. ,,… Wasn’t it one of those I gave you?’’ he asked, rather excited suddenly.

,,You surprised me,’’ he said, trying to steady himself. He was still hard, but Nite had seemingly forgotten all about it. ,,… Yes, it’s one of the books from you,’’ he smiled, showing it off to the sorcerer.

,,Is it good? I mean… ahm, I _guess_ it’s useful?’’ he chuckled, as he sat down beside the troll, rather close. He looked at the words, but didn’t recognize any, it seemed. ,,Is it… a sex book?’’ he asked slowly.

,,Surprisingly, yes. I didn’t really think that trolls would write erotic novels, but yet, here I am,’’ he chuckled, laying down and closing the book, before he turned his full attention towards the sorcerer. ,,Did I disturb you? It’s not that late, is it?’’ he asked.

,,Well, I just… heard you breathe rather heavily. I didn’t mean to sneak around, but, ahm… You’ve _said_ it feels better when we… _do it together_ , than when you’re alone, so…’’ he tried, laying down beside him. ,,Do you need a hand?’’ he smirked.

,,Wouldn’t say no to _that_ ,’’ he mumbled, lightly tucking in the sorcerers clothes.

,,What’s the book about? I mean, what _excites_ you so much about it?’’ he smiled, kicking off his pants.

,,Well, it’s hard to explain. It reminds me… of having sex with troll women,’’ he shrugged, feeling Nite’s gentle hand on his thigh.

,,Have you had many troll partners?’’ he asked, pulling down the troll’s pants. Seymore panted slightly at the cool air against his skin, before he began to undress the younger man.

,,Yes and no. I’ve been with more trolls than any other race, but most of my partners haven’t been trolls, if that makes sense. Most of the women I’ve been with have been trolls, though,’’ he explained, removing his shirt.

,,… Have you ever… like this… with another male troll?’’ he asked hesitantly, but Seymore just shook his head.

,,I’ve never met another male troll who would be interested in that. They probably exist, but they don’t talk much about it, I guess,’’ he said, feeling Nite grind his cock against the troll’s heavier member. He nodded and leaned in over the older male, suddenly very much in control.

,,… Will you read it for me?’’ he whispered, nodding towards the book. ,,To teach me how trolls like it?’’ he suggested.

,,… No,’’ he said calmly. Nite was about to protest, when Seymore gently placed a finger against his lips, angering the sorcerer, it seemed. ,,I like that you touch me, Nite. Not because I’m a troll, not because you touch me a way _trolls_ like it, but because you touch me how _I_ like it,’’ he smiled.

He was about to protest again, when Seymore calmly held around his small body, flipped them around so Nite was underneath him, and began to suck on the small, firm nipples. The sorcerer shrieked, before he moaned, silently guiding Seymore’s hand down to his stiff cock again.

,, _You wouldn’t be able to handle how trolls fuck_ ,’’ he growled against the sorcerer’s chest. ,,Come, let me suck you off,’’ he said, grabbing him by the waist and holding him up to his mouth, making Nite swing his legs tightly around the troll’s broad shoulders.

,, _No fair!_ ’’ he hissed. ,,Come _on_ , I want to know more about that stupid book! What do they _do?_ ’’ he whined, moaning when Seymore sucked him deeply.

He didn’t answer, he just kept sucking him off. His hands grabbed around the human’s small, firm ass, and suddenly, he got a strange desire to show him _exactly_ how trolls fucked.

He barely thought about it, as he spread the sorcerer’s ass cheeks and mindlessly let his thumb caress the entrance. Nite squeaked, jerked weirdly to the side and fell down onto the mattress, looking flustered and confused up at the troll again, while Seymore regretted ruining the moment.

,,Wh-why did you… Why would you… _What are you doing?_ ’’ he asked as he sat up again.

,,I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you!’’ he said hastily. ,,Shhh, it’s okay, forget it, let me-’’

,, _No_ , what did you _do?_ Why would you try to… _put your…_ in my _ass?_ ’’ he asked confused, grabbing his own ass slightly.

,,… I didn’t think about it, of course I should ask first…’’ he said apologetic. ,,I wouldn’t put it in. I would just… _massage it_ ,’’ he tried. ,,Or, I guess… If you had liked that, I would probably have put it in…’’ he admitted.

,,… Ew,’’ he said, chuckling suddenly. ,, _Why?_ ’’ he asked again.

,,… Ahm, some people enjoy that,’’ he tried. ,,Like, there’s a… a spot? Up there? It can feel really _nice_ , but you know, I don’t _have to_ do that, I was just…’’ he began, but Nite cut him off again.

,,Wait, hold on,’’ he said, trying to understand the concept. ,,But what about… uhm, I’m… aren’t I dirty?’’ he chuckled, blushing slightly.

,,Well that’s a risk… Normally I would shower first, before… yerh. And of course, I wouldn’t _hurt_ you. I would be _careful_. Some kind of lubricant would probably be nice, too,’’ he mumbled.

,,Just a minute!’’ he said, standing up so suddenly that it surprised the troll. Nite almost _ran_ out of the room, and Seymore wondered if he had scared him _that_ badly.

He should have _asked_ , but he didn’t know why he suddenly got that strange desire to explore anal penetration with the sorcerer. While he had been in positions where he wanted to fuck men, he had rarely wanted to just finger them. And while he didn’t _dislike_ the thought of pinning the smaller man down, fucking him as deep as he would be able to, he just wanted to touch and tease Nite, as to see if he would be as sensitive there as everywhere else.

Maybe he secretly wanted to touch him there, because he wanted to be touched like that _himself_. He couldn’t imagine Nite as a top, but he would in no way hesitate if the young man had ever proposed the idea. Then again, it didn’t look like Nite knew anything about anal, and really, how would he? Seymore was his only source of information on the topic, and he didn’t really feel like it was his place to introduce him to stuff like that.

After about fifteen minutes, Seymore’s hopes about continuing the night was fading. He sighed as he began to put his pants back on, but stopped in a motion as he heard the faint footsteps coming closer again.

And there he was, rosy cheeks and a slightly flustered look in his mahogany eyes. He had left without his clothes, but his skin was damp, and around his waist he wore a towel. To Seymore’s surprise, he smelled slightly fruity.

,,I tried to hurry,’’ he said flustered as he went down into the room again. ,,Are you… on your way to bed?’’ he asked, as he saw the half-dressed troll.

,,Oh, ahm, no. I didn’t think you’d come back,’’ he said, kicking his pants off again. ,,I didn’t mean to startle you like that,’’ he apologized.

,,That’s alright,’’ he smiled. ,,I’m _ready_. And… I needed this,’’ he said, slowly handing Seymore the lubricant, something clear and jelly like. ,,I, uhm… I use it when my skin is too dry,’’ he explained, still rather flustered. Seymore looked down at the bottle in his hand, suddenly feeling rather tense again.

,,Are you sure this is okay? I don’t need it, if you don’t want to do it,’’ he said as Nite laid down, removing the towel as he did so.

,,It’s alright, Seymore. I trust you,’’ he mumbled, lifting his legs into the air, spreading his ass out while still looking up at the ceiling.

Had Seymore been as careless as in his youth, he wouldn’t have hesitated at the sight of the young man, spreading himself out for him. He shortly forgot that he only wanted to use his fingers, as his cock twitched and ached at the sight. Oh, how he _wanted_ to see those flushed cheeks and those big eyes look up at him, as he would push himself inside…

But he didn’t. Because unlike Seymore’s first time with a man, Nite had never touched himself like that, and Seymore was much bigger than Ruvaen had been. He would rip him apart.

,,… You think too highly of me,’’ he said slowly. The sorcerer suddenly sat up again, his face still red, but his eyes hard.

,,I _trust_ you,’’ he repeated sternly, laying down again as he tried to steady his breath. ,,Is this position alright? I can be on my knees or something, if that’s better,’’ he mumbled.

,,No. I want to see your face,’’ he said with his raspy voice, making Nite hide his face in his hands, muttering something not recognizable. ,,It’s okay. Relax. Put your feet on my shoulders, and please tell me if it hurts or anything,’’ he said as he covered his fingers with the thick lubricant.

He nodded and looked down his body, as he silently put his feet up, spreading himself out in the process. He was excited again, his cock leaking and the human panting as he waited.

Seymore looked curiously at the younger man, as he slowly let his covered fingers down to his asshole. At first, he didn’t push inside, he just lubed him up and observed the flustered young man in front of him. He didn’t seem to dislike it, but he still seemed nervous.

,,Why aren’t you… putting it inside?’’ he panted, looking frustrated up at the troll.

,,I’m waiting for you to relax,’’ he said calmly. ,,Do you want me to put it in?’’ he asked, leaning his body in over the sorcerer. By the stars, he wanted him to say yes, and by heavens, he wanted it to be with his cock instead.

,, _Yes_ ,’’ he hissed, grabbing around the troll’s neck. Seymore did so, very slowly, as he felt the tight entrance around his finger. He wasn’t as tight as he had feared, seemingly more relaxed than he had first thought, but he still went slowly inside. ,,… Wait, stop,’’ he said, clenching around the finger.

,,Do you want me to pull it out?’’ he asked, but he shook his head.

,,No, I just… It feels _weird_ , but not _bad_. I just don’t understand where this _spot_ is?’’ he said.

,,I can show you, but I need to move my finger,’’ he smiled and proceeded to push further inside when Nite nodded agreeingly. He was careful and slow, pulling out a little to push further inside. It took him a moment to find the prostate, but it didn’t disappoint when he did.

Nite looked flushed again, uncertain, but still in no pain. He didn’t really look at the troll, but Seymore couldn’t keep his eyes from him as he kept slowly massaging the spot. He didn’t fear that he didn’t like it, because Nite’s dick was pounding against his stomach every time he brushed against the prostate, and his breath was heavy, yet nervous.

,,Is it nice? Do I need to change anything?’’ Seymore asked gently.

,,… How many fingers do you… have inside?’’ he asked, looking slightly up at the troll.

,,Only one,’’ he assured him.

,,… One more. And you can be… a little… _rougher_ , if you want. Like, still _gentle_ , but you can push upwards… a little harder,’’ he panted, finally really looking up at Seymore again.

He did as told, pulling out his finger to insert two instead, massaging the spot a little harder. He was thankful that Nite hadn’t turned around, being on all four, only for his eyes to see. It was easier to concentrate when he was looking up at him, although the sudden urge to _fuck him_ still lingered in his body.

,,It’s good,’’ he moaned. He wasn’t as loud as he usually was, and it seemed like he needed to concentrated more. ,,It still feels _weird_ ,’’ he said, as he slowly began to rock against the troll’s fingers, ,,but it’s _very_ good. Can I… _Ah!_ Can I come like this? Will it… hurt?’’ he asked softly.

,,I don’t know how intense it will be. But I can make it easier for you, prostate stimulation might take a little longer to make you orgasm, I guess,’’ Seymore said, gently removing his fingers before he laid down between the sorcerer’s legs. As soon as he put the hot, pulsing cock into his mouth again, he slowly put his fingers back in his ass as well, continuing as he had done prior with massaging his insides.

This seemed to get the human going, as he moaned just as loudly as he used to. His cock felt even harder like this, and all of his body shook. It didn’t make him any less sensitive with the troll’s thick fingers inside him.

,,Fuck, fuck, _fuck, fuck!_ ’’ he shrieked, jerking forward a lot harder than he tended to. Seymore couldn’t remember that he had ever spilled a drop of Nite’s cum, but maybe his lips hadn’t been tight enough around the member, or maybe he just shot so violently that he couldn’t keep all of it in.

He kept his fingers inside the human, all while he felt him clench around them as he came. It didn’t make it any less exciting for the troll, as he gulped to not spill all of the cum in his mouth. It took Nite a little while longer to calm down, as Seymore slowly pulled his fingers out again. He whined and shook, moaned and muttered praising words towards the troll, who just sat beside him, smiling genuinely to the younger man.

,, _Fuck_ , that was _so good_ ,’’ he mumbled, looking up at the troll. ,,I want that _again_.’’

,,Now?’’ Seymore chuckled, laying down beside the younger man.

,, _No_ , not _now_. But… _next time_ ,’’ he shrugged. ,,Your turn. And you’ve been _really_ good today, so tell me, _Seymore:_ How would you like me to take care of you?’’ he said, running his hand playfully down the older man’s body.

Slight shivers went down his spine, and he felt the thrill of the seductive undertone in the sorcerer’s voice. While he was hard and horny from fingering the man beside him, this made it all the clearer that he really wanted Nite on his hands and knees, _breeding him,_ like the troll he was.

But of course, he didn’t say that. He didn’t say it, mostly because he feared that if he did so, he couldn’t hold back and would lose his control. He feared to hurt or scare the young soul, that he so desperately cared about, and that he so _desperately_ didn’t want to harm.

,,I want you to touch me, exactly how you want to do it. Maybe you don’t really care for touching yourself, and can’t hit your own good spots, but you touch me _perfectly_ ,’’ he mumbled, looking into the sorcerer’s eyes. He seemed flustered for a moment, before he smiled proudly and laid down in between the troll’s legs.

,, _Oh really?_ ’’ he smirked, using both hands to jerk him off. ,,You’re very hard today. Did you enjoy _the show?_ ’’ he asked, slowly teasing the head with his tongue.

,, _Yes_ ,’’ he panted, caressing Nite’s face as he sucked him deeper.

,,I’ve _barely_ touched you, and you already want to come, don’t you?’’ he smirked between sucking him off and licking right beneath the tight foreskin. ,,By _Am_ , it was _so_ good before. My body is still shaking,’’ he muttered against the big cock.

,,I’m very glad you enjoyed it,’’ he panted, guiding his face down a little further down. ,,You’re a quick learner,’’ he groaned, as he felt the back of Nite’s throat tighten around him, holding him there as the look of bliss twinkled in the human’s eyes. ,, _Man, you look good_ ,’’ he growled.

,,I’ve been _practicing_ a lot,’’ he smirked, ignoring the growl. ,,I still want to know what the book was about. Like, _how filthy_ is it, since you won’t even tell me?’’ he wondered, jerking him a little more impatiently now.

,,You’re ruthless,’’ he whined, watching how Nite licked and kissed his cock, as if he wanted to do nothing else in this world.

,,I’m _curious_ ,’’ he corrected him. ,,You’re _so close_ , aren’t you? You like when I speak like this, don’t you?’’ he smirked. Seymore nodded so fast that his big ears flopped mindlessly around. He thrusted beggingly against Nite’s open mouth, feeling the pressure built up. ,,Tell me _one thing_ from the book and you can come,’’ he teased, grabbing harder around the cock. Seymore whined and whimpered, louder than he usually was, drooling a little himself.

,,… They bite and scratch each other. He does it as a way to dominate and keep her in check. She does it to mark him as hers,’’ he whined. Nite didn’t stop, but seemed confused by his words. ,,Can I _please_ come?’’ he moaned, loving the subtle ways Nite dominated the situation.

,,… You don’t want me to bite your dick, do you?’’ he asked concerned, but Seymore shook his head, just as wildly as when he had nodded. ,,Okay, _good_. Then be a _good_ troll and come on my face,’’ he teased.

He had only _just_ said the words, as he, hesitantly at first, moved his head to Seymore’s thigh before he bit down _hard_. Hard enough to surprise the troll, hard enough to tip him over the edge. He hadn’t thought Nite would do that, but he hadn’t thought that he would be so _good_ at it, either. He had always viewed Nite as physically weak, shy and awkward in these situations, but as his confidence grew, he showed the troll how _wrong_ he was.

Seymore came, groaning louder than Nite had ever heard, all over the sorcerer’s face and tongue, his chest and hands as well. He felt _spent_ when he finally stopped coming, relaxing down into his mattress as he tried to steady his breath. The younger man seemed _very_ satisfied by the end result.

,,I’m glad you like the way I touch you. But you also like stuff other trolls does, and I cannot do those things if you won’t tell me about them,’’ Nite explained while he wiped his face, before he laid down beside the troll again.

,,… I like to be bitten, because pain can be pleasurable. Not because I’m a troll,’’ he said through heavy breathing. ,,But that was _lovely_ ,’’ he sighed, smiling as he closed his eyes. He could feel Nite cuddling up against his side, and curled his arm around the smaller man.

,,You know… I don’t mind that you’re a troll, Seymore,’’ he said slowly. He felt his heart race, but didn’t react otherwise. ,,I guess… It feels like you don’t _like_ being reminded, that you’re a troll. But it’s _okay_ , for me, at least. I don’t mind doing things for you that other trolls would do, but… I don’t know what troll’s do or like,’’ he said, looking slightly up at the older man again.

,,… That’s very kind of you, but it’s not… necessary,’’ he tried, caressing the top of Nite’s head. ,,… I don’t really fit in, anywhere,’’ he said slowly. ,,Not with trolls, not with pixies and not with humans, either. I don’t mind being a _troll_ , but I’m also very different than most trolls. I like things most other trolls don’t, like sitting in the library and reading, with you,’’ he said, smiling, still with his eyes closed.

,,… I didn’t mean to make things… _awkward_ , the last time we went there…’’ he said slowly. He could hear that the young man was tired by now, fighting to stay awake. ,,I don’t like being alone, all the time,’’ he said softly. Seymore now opened his eyes, looking down at the small human, already half asleep in his arms.

,,You don’t have to be alone,’’ he whispered, cuddling him a little closer as he wrapped the blanket around them.

,,Neither do you.’’ He wasn’t sure if Nite was asleep, if he somewhat talked with himself, or if he meant it. But this night, Seymore didn’t turn around, to let Nite sleep behind him. He let him sleep in his arms, cuddling and protecting his small Master, wondering, if he could just stay here, just a decade longer. Just forever.

But as he woke, he felt as guilty as always, leaving the sleeping man by his side. How he longed to be in his embrace for just a little while longer, but afraid what would happen, if he did so. If it would all break, if he stayed.

He sent his letter for the Madam that morning, before Nite ever knew it existed. He hoped to get answers for himself and Nite, but wouldn’t risk making him disappointed, should the Madam not answer.

Then he sat down, just waiting as the autumn sun rose in the distance.


	6. 6) I might even say...

,,I need your help.’’ The sorcerer’s voice behind him startled him for a moment. Seymore had been lost in thoughts so deeply, that he had nearly forgotten that he was, indeed, still in the washroom. He stood up, dusting himself off, as he tried to look presentable.

,,What can I do for you?’’ he asked, drying of his hands as he spoke. There was something off with the way Nite looked at him, but he couldn’t place a finger on it.

,,You won’t like it,’’ he said, guiding the troll out of the washroom, as he headed towards his study chamber. Seymore didn’t like his tone, but followed anyway.

,,… Do you need help cleaning your chamber?’’ he asked as he walked into the room. It was messy as always, the only thing neat was the throne in the middle, breaking of the room in a weird kind of way.

,,No. I need a test subject for something I’ve been working on,’’ he said without shame. His eyes were strange, _hard,_ and piercing into the amber eyes. It took Seymore a moment to understand Nite’s words, before he backed away, but the doors where closed behind him.

,, _No_ ,’’ he said sternly, but Nite had locked the doors without him noticing. ,,Why do you need a _living_ test subject?’’ he stammered, his back against the door.

,,Because it’s a good _exercise,_ for both of us,’’ he smiled, almost cruelly. He didn’t know why Nite would suddenly react this way, but he was completely trapped. ,,Sit down,’’ he said, and Seymore did as told with no hesitations. ,,Now tell me, _Seymore_ , why is my _mother_ writing to you?’’

He was baffled for a moment. He had almost forgotten about his letter to her, but when he tried to explain it, he was cut off. There was something in the sorcerer’s eyes, so _hurt_ and confused, but Seymore couldn’t focus on anything besides the colorless, shapeless, pulsating magic in Nite’s hand.

,,I didn’t _snoop_ , I _thought_ the letter was for _me!_ ’’ he spat out, forming the magic in his hands to shapes Seymore could only guess about. ,,Why wouldn’t you _tell_ me that you’ve wrote to her? You _said_ you would! I couldn’t know… I’m not _supposed_ to know…!’’ he shrieked, almost tearful at this point. ,,She’ll find out and you’ll get in _trouble_ and she’ll… she’ll…’’ He was breathing too fast.

,,Nite, look at me,’’ he said, cautiously getting up on his feet and getting a little closer. ,,I wrote to your mother, because I wanted to help. I wanted _answers_ ,’’ he tried.

,,You think I’m _sick!_ ’’ he cried out, whipping the formless magic in the air. Seymore stepped back again, but the amber eyes didn’t leave the confused, young man.

,,… Are you going to hurt me?’’ he asked, as calmly as he could. Nite almost looked like he wanted to strike him, right then and there, but he didn’t. He threw the magic off, and it dissolved in front of both of them. ,,I want to help you. I want to understand,’’ he said slowly. ,, _Please_ , let me help you.’’

,, _No!_ Don’t! I don’t want help, I want to scream and shout!’’ he spat out, turning away from the troll. ,,I don’t know what you asked her about… I don’t know why you wouldn’t tell me…’’ he said, sniffling as he went further into the room.

,,I didn’t think she would reply,’’ he admitted. ,,I didn’t want to get your hopes up, for an answer,’’ he tried, but stayed where he was. ,,… I’m not leaving, Nite. You can scream and shout. At me, at the wall, whatever you please. But I…’’ He hesitated, before Nite looked back at him, his big, mahogany eyes full of tears and confusion. ,,… I’m here. I want to be _here_ , I want to help _you_ ,’’ he said, as calmly as he could assure him, while his heart still raced.

,,… I don’t want to talk with you…’’ he said slowly, turning around again.

,,You don’t have to,’’ Seymore said quietly, sitting down on the floor again. ,,I can turn around, if you don’t want me to look at you, either. But… _I_ need to be here… I need to know that you… will be alright,’’ he said slowly.

Nite wiped his face in his long sweater sleeve, before he turned around again. His face was red, both from anger and tears, and what Seymore guessed was embarrassment. But then he walked up to the troll again, sitting in front of him, until he leaned his head against the older man’s broad shoulders, quietly sulking.

,, _I don’t want to cry_ ,’’ he sobbed, sitting limb against the troll. ,, _I don’t like to cry_ ,’’ he continued, but his tears didn’t stop.

Seymore didn’t answer, he just picked him up, sat him on his lap and held around him, gently, but reassuring. His heart still raced, and he was reminded about exactly _why_ he had been hesitant about Nite in the first place. But right now, he was so small and fragile, that Seymore hardly could recall the feral look in the sorcerer’s eyes just moments before. He caressed his back, his neck and arms, as Nite finally, slowly, put his arms weakly around him, still sobbing slightly.

,,I’ll stay here, with you. You can cry, it’s alright. Be mad at me, I should have told you. You can see what I wrote her, too, if that’ll give you peace,’’ he whispered, hugging the smaller human a little tighter. ,,But I need to see the letter, at some point, Nite. I need to know what she wrote.’’

,,I know,’’ he sobbed weakly. ,,I _hate it_. I feel… _disgusting_ ,’’ he said, whining slightly. ,,It’s all so _intense_. I… I _hated you_. I _wanted_ to scare you, not hurt you, I promise, but you made me go _insane_ , and now…! Now I just want you to hold me like this, always,’’ he sobbed. ,,I _trust_ you. But I don’t even know… I don’t…’’ he said, new tears streaming down his cheeks again.

,,I’ll hold you.’’ _Forever_ , he thought to himself. He wondered what _exactly_ the Madam could write to upset the sorcerer this much? But guessing would bring him nowhere.

Nite sat in his lap for what felt like hours. Even when he stopped crying, he didn’t release his grip in the troll. He didn’t look at him, he refused to talk to him, but he wouldn’t leave him, either. Seymore moved them ever so slightly, to lean against the heavy doors, as he sat and cuddled the small man, while looking around the room.

Now wouldn’t be a good time to kiss him, but he had never wanted it so much as right now. He wanted to brush the young man’s fears away, whatever they might’ve been. He wanted to hold and protect him from whatever the world would throw at him. But mostly, he wanted to show, that whatever Nite thought of him, he only wanted him happiness.

,,… I don’t exist,’’ he said after a while. His voice was sore and dry, shaky and not much louder than a whisper. It shocked him when Nite spoke, and it took a moment to process the strange sentence.

,,What… do you _mean_ , Nite?’’ he said slowly.

,,She didn’t get in details. But my mother… she has done _something_ , maybe illegal, I don’t know, to get me. I’m not even sure that I’m her _blood_ , but… I’m unregistered. I don’t exist in Aenamo,’’ he said slowly, but Seymore couldn’t grasp the concept.

,,… I don’t get it, Nite. What do you mean with _unregistered?_ ’’ he asked. First the young man looked almost irritated at him, before his gaze softened again.

,,Okay, it’s a magic thing, it makes sense,’’ he mumbled to himself, before he cleared his throat. ,,Because Aenamo is made of magic, there’s almost endless possibilities to what can happen, what people can create, and likewise. The first rulers of Aenamo, before the Kingdoms were created, had a book that detected a person’s code. It’s like… _your essence_. And just like the magic, that just flows invisible through the air, so does our essences. _Everyone_ is in that book. You don’t need to do anything to be registered,’’ he explained.

,,But… you’re not? _How?_ ’’ he asked, but Nite only shrugged. He straightened his back and sat beside the troll instead, still with his head on his shoulder.

,,She didn’t explain that. But it’s not _legal_ to do so. She… She wrote a lot, Seymore… But nothing that really makes sense… I… I guess there’s something wrong with me? And that she figured that out when she was pregnant, and she wanted… She wanted to _hide me_ , in case she needed to…’’ he said, his voice fading away.

,,She won’t,’’ he said, surprisingly calmly. ,,Come. Let’s get up and get some tea. I’ll bake you something, just stay with me for a while,’’ he begged, standing up and waiting for the sorcerer to take his hand.

He took it, but didn’t let go. Seymore didn’t mind that, so he just wandered the hallways with the sorcerer’s hand in his. He stopped at his own room, looking down briefly.

,,I have the letter I wrote down there. Or, the sketch of it, I guess. It’s not written as neatly, but I can read it for you, if you want,’’ he said. Nite nodded but still refused to let go of his hand, so they both wandered down into the basement chamber.

Nite had rarely been here like this, without the purpose of getting down and dirty. It felt strange to go through his things with the sorcerer present, their smell still lingering in the air from the night they had just spend together.

,,It’s here,’’ he said, handing him the letter. Nite took it, but didn’t look at it. He didn’t really look at anything. ,,Is her letter in your room?’’ he asked as they went up into the hallway again, but he shook his head.

,,I have it,’’ he said, handing him the letter from his back pocket. ,,It’s… a little torn up… But hopefully readable,’’ he said as they went into the kitchen.

The kitchen itself was small, but functional. Not big enough for a table and chairs, but big enough for both of them to stand in. Nite still held Seymore’s hand, and didn’t seem willing to let go, so Seymore simply did what he needed to do, with his other hand.

,,It might be a little hard to bake, like this,’’ he smiled warmly, but he didn’t try to pull his hand away.

,,I’m not hungry,’’ he said, slowly reading the letter. ,,Maybe I read it wrong,’’ he said, re-reading Seymore’s words. ,,She made it just sound like… that you were worried… not _for me_ but _about me_ ,’’ he sighed, finally letting go of the troll’s hand. ,,I feel… _dizzy_ ,’’ he said, swaying slightly. Seymore grabbed him, lifting him so easily into his arms.

Nite shrieked surprised, but stopped as soon as he looked into the amber eyes again. His lips were parted, and his cracked tooth visible, making him look so small and wondering. Just like before, Seymore really wanted to lean forward and kiss him, but he couldn’t. He could still see the hurt in the young man’s eyes.

,,… Thank you,’’ he said slowly, putting his hands on the troll’s shoulders. ,,You can put me down now,’’ he said, but Seymore hesitated.

,,Are you alright?’’ he asked, gently caressing the human’s cheek. ,,… Are _we_ alright?’’ he asked instead, when Nite didn’t answer. ,,I promise you, I’ll stay here, _with you_ , even if you… somehow, doesn’t exist,’’ he whispered, not even knowing that that really _meant_. ,,And nothing will happen, Nite. I’ll make sure _nothing_ will happen.’’ The tears were back in his eyes, but he only sniffled.

,,I wasn’t supposed to know, Seymore,’’ he whispered. ,,Put me down, you need to read it. Please _explain_ it to me, I’m not sure I understand, anything,’’ he said, and Seymore finally did put him down to the ground. Then he found the letter from his pocket, and began to read out loud:

_,,Dear Seymore_

_The less you know about my son, the better. The less he knows, the better as well. But I suppose it’s too much to ask of me, that I give you_ no _guidance, at all._

_He is not sick, don’t fear so. While he hasn’t developed as I hoped and expected, he is not endangering you in any kind of way, neither would he be to anyone else if he left the castle._

_It’s hard to explain, and I’ll keep it simple. In terms of population counting in Aenamo, Nite doesn’t exist. I’m unsure how much you’ll understand of this part. It’s not like he’s a ghost or anything, but his_ data _has never been collected, and no one, maybe except a few maids and servants a long time ago, knows that he exists, and they won’t tell anyone._

 _The castle is hidden on a rather dry and far away island in the West, as you know. No one comes here, anymore. The castle is hidden by protection spells, that while it is_ possible _to find the it, makes it a lot harder._

 _I…_ obtained _Nite by accident, when he was conceived. I can’t get more into the details, but back then, I was unsure if it would be wise or safe to keep the child. I needed him to be traceless, in case something went wrong. While this all sounds awful, I beg for your forgiveness, but I tried my best to form my son in another way than life pulls him into._

_I’m aware that he’s growing very fond of you, and I try to believe your words when you tell me he doesn’t mistreat you. But I fear you’re unaware of the tricks he can pull, and what he can do when upset._

_It’s very important that he doesn’t know that he is traceless. I’m gambling by telling you. It’s not legal to hide anyone’s essence like this, and it could end badly for both me and him. And for you, should he ever know. You need to destroy this letter as soon as you’re done reading it. You might not understand much of all of this, because it’s mostly about magic, but_ he _will._

_When he gets older, it would be easier to play it of as he is from Vaihines. It’s much more unlikely with such a young boy to get here, and although his magic is strong, he wouldn’t be able to make the travel here by himself, before he is a few years older. I don’t plan on keeping him at the castle forever, but I can’t risk that he’ll be found out at this point._

_My travels do have something to do with all of this. But this is a bigger concern than just keeping Nite at the castle. It’s about the safety for both of us. That’s why my travels are more important than anything else, at this point._

_I know much of this doesn’t make sense. I wish I could tell you more, but I can’t. I also fear it would damage your view on the boy, more than this already might have. I hope that you’ll still take care of him and keep him at the castle. But I also hope you’ll be aware, that even though he isn’t sick, the situation is at great importance. And while I really hope Nite isn’t cruel to you, be aware that he can be explosive._

_I wish you well._

_Willa Greenlight’’_

Seymore leaned his heavy body against the counter as he read through the pages. While he didn’t really understand what it all meant, he somewhat understood why Nite felt so hurt. He still felt aware and chocked about his reaction, but he understood why it felt so overwhelming for the young man.

Nite was not only unplanned, he was _unwelcomed_. Although she didn’t say it outright, she had thought about getting rid of the baby, trace free. Why she hadn’t, he didn’t understand. But now her rocky relationship with her son made a little more sense to him.

Whatever secrets about Nite she withheld, he knew all this wasn’t legal. He also understood why she would try to keep this from him, but it was too late. Would she know if Nite read it? Or would he tell her, if he was too mad to trust Seymore again?

,,That’s a lot,’’ he admitted, giving the letter back to Nite. ,,I don’t know what to tell you, really. I think you understand it better than I,’’ he said slowly.

,,I don’t understand _anything_ ,’’ he said. ,,I’ve always thought she did _great_ things, Seymore. She’s so skilled and knowledgeable. I thought her research was _for good_. I _thought_ she trained me to take over her work,’’ he said, looking up at the troll. ,,But she’s not, is she?’’

,,… I don’t know,’’ he admitted, caressing his cheek again. ,,I wish I knew, but I don’t. But either way, your life is yours, Nite. You don’t have to be anything you don’t want to,’’ he tried, smiling apologetic.

He looked so defeated. His eyes flickered between anger and loss, and Seymore felt the doubt and worry creep back into his mind. He didn’t want to be near Nite when he was so uncontrollably mad, but he couldn’t leave him be, either. He needed to protect him, mostly from himself.

,,… Then I don’t want to be _good_.’’ Seymore was taken aback by his words, but he didn’t move to not create attention towards himself. ,,Curse this world. Curse this damn _castle_ ,’’ he spat out, closing his eyes. ,,I’ll show her,’’ he muttered underneath his breath.

,,I understand your sorrow, but _please_ don’t say that. I know…,’’ he said, leaning down to look into the sorcerer’s eyes, but he refused to open them, ,,… that you’ll do _great_ things. And I’m here, for when you do so,’’ he said, as calmly as he could.

,,No you’re not,’’ he said, finally looking at the troll again. ,,… You don’t work for me. You’re not _here_ for _me_. You’re here because my mother took you in, and you’re here, _with me_ , because of… I don’t know, loneliness? You didn’t _care_ about me; you _only_ did this because she told you to!’’ he said, his voice getting louder. ,,You _feared_ me, like you should!’’

In his panic, Nite was about to hit the troll. He seemed shocked himself when Seymore caught his hand in the air, no trace of fear in his face. The big, amber eyes were sad, concerned and tired, but the grip in the sorcerer’s arm were gentle.

,,I didn’t mean to-,’’ he tried, but Seymore interrupted him.

,,I know. I’m not mad, Nite. But you’re not right,’’ he said slowly. ,,I didn’t fear you. I fear your magic. Because without your magic… I _really_ have nothing to fear,’’ he said calmly. ,,I’m not saying that you’re weak. You’re very _headstrong_ ,’’ he explained, when the sorcerer wanted to protest. ,,… And I don’t work for you, no. I can leave, and be for myself, whenever I want to. But I like to be _here_. I like to be around _you_. And even now, when you’re so sad that you get angry with me and the world and everything… and I get _scared_ … I’m still _here_ , Nite,’’ he said. There were tears in his eyes, and that seemed to calm Nite down again.

,,… I know… Thank you,’’ he said, slowly and gently placing his hands on the troll’s face. ,,… I really want to believe you… That you’re _here_ , for _me_ , always,’’ he said, tearing up again. ,,But I fear… that as _soon_ as she’s back… you’ll _leave_ and you’re… You’re the _only_ one who ever _tried_ to like me, and I… I _don’t want to be alone_ ,’’ he sobbed, feeling small again. ,,And I don’t know if I can trust you. And _you_ shouldn’t trust _me_. I feel _so_ out of control,’’ he said, fresh tears streaming down his face.

,,Shhh, it’ll be okay,’’ he said, wiping Nite’s cheeks carefully. ,,I won’t leave. I’ll stay here, as long as you don’t _ask me_ to leave,’’ he said. ,,I want to _help_. I know you don’t believe me. But you’re… you’re _very_ important to me,’’ he said softly, placing his hands on the young man’s shoulders. He nodded, but didn’t look at him. He didn’t take his hands, and he seemed so far away in his thoughts.

,,I know… I know that you want to be here, _now,_ but… Would it be okay if I… went to my room, or something? I… I need to think,’’ he said, his voice soft and fragile.

,,… Of course. I’ll be here, for a while, to prepare some food. I’ll check on you later, okay?’’ he said, letting go of the younger man in front of him. Nite didn’t answer, he just walked right past Seymore, out of the kitchen. He could hear the footsteps fade away, and the heavy door of his study chamber close loudly behind him.

But he heard no shouting or explosions. No sobbing or screaming. Everything was quiet, deafening quiet. And no words could fill the empty void again.

It broke his heart to see the sorcerer cry. He felt confused about all of it himself, but mostly so deeply sorry that he hadn’t told Nite about the letter, he wrote over a month ago. The way he felt when the mahogany eyes had looked at him, so defeated and fearful was almost too much.

He wondered if Nite could ever trust him again. If he would ever let him hug him again, after this, or even speak to him at all. If he would continue to be mad, _furious_ , at him, and if he could ever feel really safe in the company of his tiny Master again.

He had rarely felt fear like this the last couple of months. He had never _imagined_ that this was what would come out of writing to the Madam, but had he known, he would have done it all differently. The answers she gave didn’t make him any less confused. He had never known such things as _essence_ was even a thing, but he would have never guessed the Madam did anything illegal, either.

What could have happened that made it so essential for her life, that she could get rid of her own child if anything should have happened? And what made her change her mind? Nite wasn’t what she had hoped for, that was clear, so why had she kept him around all this time?

… But Nite was what _he_ wanted, that was for sure. He didn’t want to make him cry, and he didn’t want to see him so angry and upset. But he would still ruin his life, if he ever acted upon those feelings, he thought. And now it could all be too late, anyway.

He felt he needed to protect him, in a way he hadn’t before. He tried to place his feelings, if they stemmed from something internal or friendly, or just as he would have done for Ruvaen, but found no answer. It was undoubtably different from his former lover, because he wanted to cradle Nite and brush away his fears, but at the same time he wanted to kiss him and tell him how much he adored him. He guessed it had something to do with how vulnerable he seemed in the situation, but it still felt so wrong of him.

He didn’t know what Nite needed him to be, and he couldn’t even decide himself what kind of feelings he had. He had thought that his warm feelings stemmed from a place of loneliness and hormones, but now he was unsure. He cared about Nite, in so many aspects, which made it all the harder for him. Because even if Nite _had_ cared for him at some point, he had never met other people, not that he would be able to recall, other than his mother. Even if he did feel _something_ for Seymore, it _couldn’t_ be real, he thought.

That night, he tried to make things as easy for the young man as possible. He prepared food he knew Nite wouldn’t downright _hate_ , he baked much more than he needed to, and he plated everything nicely. Whatever he wanted, to eat alone or with the troll, would be fine. But as expected, he didn’t want to eat anything, at all.

,,I’m not hungry,’’ he said when he finally opened the door.

,,No, I know,’’ he sighed, trying to smile. ,,Can I do anything to change that? You can skip dinner and just have dessert, this once? I need you to eat _something_ , Nite,’’ he tried, stretching out his hand. To his surprise, he took it, just as carefully and gentle as he used to.

,,… I’m not hungry. I’m just really tired,’’ he said. He could see on Nite’s cheeks that he had been crying for a while, but he didn’t know what to do. Everything he could think of, wouldn’t help, and probably just make him cry again.

,,… You can wait a little… But it’s ready, when you get hungry,’’ he smiled.

,,Can I… ask a favor?’’ he said hesitantly.

,,Anything.’’

,,… Can I sleep with you tonight? I don’t… uhm, I don’t want to…’’ he said, fumbling with his words.

,,Of course. And don’t worry, I know what you’ll say… and it’s fine,’’ he smiled, squeezing the sorcerer’s hand. ,,… I hope you know that I don’t like to be around you just because you _touch_ me…’’ he said slowly, his heart pounding in his chest. ,,If you sleep better in my room, that’s the _least_ I can do.’’

,,Your mattress sucks,’’ he said, chuckling lightly. ,,I sleep better, because _you’re_ there, idiot,’’ he said, but he smiled as he did so. He finally looked at the troll, his eyes big and uncertain. ,,And… I know. You have never tried to… _do anything_ , if I didn’t initiate myself. But tonight, I just need you to… hold me… Is that alright?’’

He nodded and moved a step closer to gently hold his cheek. He still looked scared and confused, but he didn’t look at him with hate, and that was all he wanted.

,,I’ll put the food away. We can nap for a couple of hours, and then eat. Would that be a plan?’’ he asked, and the sorcerer nodded, seemingly not keen on the idea of having dinner tonight. ,,You can wait in my room, okay?’’ he said, and they parted in the hallway. ,,It’ll only be a minute,’’ he promised.

When he came back down into the room, Nite sat and looked around, almost a little shy. He had kicked his pants of, but was still wearing his oversized, grey shirt.

,,I, uhm… Didn’t know if it would be weird, to be nude, when we’re not going to… _do_ , anything,’’ he said. Seymore laid down, waiting for Nite to join him.

,,I don’t mind,’’ he tried.

,,It’s just that… you’ve reacted so strongly to nudity in the past, that I… I didn’t want to make it hard for you,’’ he said, blushing at his own words. ,,I mean… ah, you get it,’’ he pouted.

,,I’m not doing anything you don’t want me to,’’ he said firmly, watching as the sorcerer slowly decided to take of his shirt. He was still wearing briefs, a sight Seymore hadn’t seen before, but he tried to ignore it at his best.

,,… Do you want to sleep like that? I mean, I don’t mind, either,’’ he said, looking at the troll’s clothes.

,,Well, I’m not wearing undergarments,’’ he explained. ,,I can remove my shirt, I don’t really want to sleep with _that_ on, but I normally sleep in my pants,’’ he explained. Nite’s brows furrowed, as he shamelessly looked the troll up and down.

,,You _never_ wear briefs?’’ he asked, and the troll shook his head.

,,… No, not really,’’ he said, blushing slightly. ,,I don’t like the feeling, I guess.’’

,,That’s _weird_ ,’’ he chuckled, laying down beside the troll. He liked the sound of that, a lot more than he used to, he thought. ,,You don’t have to keep them on. I’ve seen you before,’’ he shrugged, as the troll started to undress. ,,Besides, it feels _nice_ to lay like this. You’re warm.’’

,,Thank you,’’ he smiled, stretching out his arm so Nite could cuddle against him. He felt small in his embrace, but it also felt like the younger man really needed this. Like he tried to vanish into him.

,,Will you be here when I wake up?’’ he asked as he was half dozing off. The troll tucked them both better under the blankets, keeping the small man warm and close to his body.

,,Yerh. I won’t leave until you wake up,’’ he promised. When Nite looked up at him, he could see how tired he really was, but he still managed to smile, ever so slightly. ,,Sleep. We’ll talk more later,’’ he said gently.

It didn’t take him long to fall asleep. Seymore was awake for a while longer, just lying and imprinting all the small details of Nite into his memory. Although it felt like Nite was very safe in his embrace, he could also feel how uncertain he was when they talked, and he feared the younger man would pull away from him again.

He tried to sleep, but he never felt tired enough to do so. It wasn’t that late, but he felt too tense to fall asleep. He wanted to savor the moment, suddenly fearing to lose something that was never really his.

Nite slept for hours. He jittered and whined in his sleep, but most of the time, he just laid there, peacefully. Every time he whined, Seymore would gently tug him tighter against his body, as to silently say ‘I protect you’ and to brush away his fears, but he didn’t want to wake him up or disturb him further.

When he finally woke up, Seymore almost got _scared_ for a moment. Nite’s eyes were _red_. Not because he had cried, but his _irises_ were red. It was so briefly that Seymore was _sure_ it was something he had imagined, but the weird feeling still lingered, as Nite looked up at him.

,,Hey… you’re here,’’ he smiled, his voice soft and small. Seymore really did think that Nite looked beautiful, like this; so sincerely happy to see the troll again.

,,I am,’’ he smiled.

,,… You haven’t slept at all, have you?’’ he asked, gently resting his head against the troll’s chest. Now he _must_ have heard his beating heart, Seymore thought.

,,No. But I hope you feel a little better now,’’ he smiled, trying to steady his pounding heart. Nite shrugged, but didn’t leave Seymore’s warm embrace.

,,I don’t… _hate_ you, just so you know. I think I said that, at some point… I… It still hurts _a lot_. And I’m still very confused… but I don’t hate _you_. You’re like… the only thing that makes sense, in a way?’’ he said slowly, not looking up at him. ,,… I don’t want her to come home. _Ever_.’’

,,I understand that,’’ he said slowly. ,,I’m very happy to be _here_ , with _you_ ,’’ he said, gently resting his face against the young man’s head.

He took one of Seymore’s big hands and held it in his own, studying it as he liked to do. He gently curled their fingers together, and this time, Seymore didn’t pull away. He just held around the tiny hand in his.

,,You, ahm… Besides _the pixie_ , did you ever have a… ehm, _another_ male lover? Another boyfriend?’’ he said slowly, fixating his gaze on their hands. He felt his heart skip a beat, but tried to remain calm and collected.

,,… No. I’ve had a couple of girlfriends, but that was before him,’’ he said slowly. ,,He… was the only man I’ve ever loved,’’ he said, not looking down at the human.

,,So, you prefer women?’’ he asked, surprisingly calmly. Nite didn’t move his hand, he just silently played with the long, pointy nails the troll had.

,,No, not really,’’ he sighed. ,,I think I prefer men, actually? I also like being with women, though in some aspects, I find men easier to be around, but… I haven’t had many chances to be _romantic_ with men, since my former lover,’’ he explained. ,,I’m pretty sure the former maids and servants of the castle believed I was gay, for a while, at least,’’ he shrugged.

,,Why didn’t you just hook up with the maids? Well, unless you didn’t mind being… viewed as gay, I mean,’’ he asked.

,,… Because I was very hurt, for a long time, after my ex,’’ he said slowly. It wasn’t completely true, but Nite didn’t need to know that he _had_ fooled around with many of the maids in the past.

,,Was that the reason that you… didn’t want me to touch you at first?’’ he asked.

,,It was part of the reason,’’ he admitted.

,,You’re still very hurt,’’ he noted, and Seymore nodded slightly. ,,… What happened, back then?’’ he asked anew.

,,I don’t want to talk about that,’’ he said, closing his eyes. It had been a while since the ice blue eyes had taunted him like this.

,,You always say that,’’ he sighed, a little disappointed.

,,I know. But it’s private,’’ he said. Nite didn’t try to protest, he simply just stayed in the troll’s warm embrace.

,,What’s the other reasons?’’ he said instead. When Seymore didn’t answer, he continued: ,,The other reasons you didn’t want me to touch you.’’

,,… I don’t think I can explain that,’’ he mumbled. ,,I… don’t want to hurt you, Nite. You’re so… _young_. I _know_ you’re almost an adult, and I _know_ you don’t view our age as that different, but… There’re so many things you don’t… _understand,_ about the world.’’

,,Then _teach me_ ,’’ he said, moving to look at the troll again. He removed the blanket in the process, seemingly forgetting that the troll had been completely naked.

,,I can’t do that. I don’t want you to experience how cruel the world can be. And I… don’t think you really want this, either,’’ he said, slowly sitting up as well. He knew that Nite looked at him, but he tried to ignore it. ,,It’s one thing to… _explore_ your sexuality. And while… it’s not _ideal_ that I help you with that, either… I at least hope I don’t scare you, in the process.’’

,,You don’t,’’ he said, raising a brow. ,,I don’t understand what you mean,’’ he said, leaning against the troll again. ,,Why _wouldn’t_ I want you? You’re kind to me, and you’re hardworking and passionate and I don’t… _understand_ why you’re so afraid, that I like you,’’ he admitted.

Seymore didn’t answer for a while. He had tried not to think too hard about whether Nite liked him or not. He had known it was a risk, but he also knew that Nite rarely was in touch with his emotions, making him unsure if the young man was even _capable_ of liking him.

,,… Is it because I’m not pretty, like the pixie?’’ he suddenly said.

,, _No_ , that has nothing to with it!’’ he assured him. ,,Why… are you asking all of this _now_?’’ he asked slowly. Nite shrugged and moved, to sit by himself instead.

,,Because… I don’t understand _all of this_ ,’’ he said, gesturing to both of them. ,,I like you. I might even say… _I love you_ , and I thought, for a while, that you liked me, too,’’ he said slowly. Seymore flinched at the words, but didn’t stop him. ,,But then again… you didn’t consider us _lovers_ , and I got confused. Because you still _act_ like you like me, don’t you? I don’t know, I can’t tell,’’ he said, an almost worried look in his eyes.

,,… I do _like_ you, I just…’’ he tried, reaching for the sorcerer, but he moved out of his reach. ,,… Is this why it upset you so much, that I didn’t tell you about the letter? I should have told you, in any case, but… I wouldn’t have guessed it would hit you so hard,’’ he tried. Nite nodded, looking back at the troll again.

,,You’re so _tortured_ , all the time. You live in exile because you’re afraid to get hurt again,’’ he said slowly. ,,You say you’re afraid to hurt me. But I’m afraid to hurt you, too. I’m afraid that you’re really just here because she _told you_ to, but I… I just really want you to _stay_ ,’’ he whispered. ,,Why not try to be _happy_ , for once?’’

Seymore had no time to react when Nite suddenly turned to face him again, sat on his knees and held his arms around the broad shoulders. The young man only hesitated for a moment, before he leaned in, lightly pressing his lips against the troll’s.

He didn’t fight it any longer. The desire to kiss him, _the need to do so_ , that had overwhelmed him for weeks, _months_ at this point, finally culminated when he welcomed the shivering lips of the sorcerer.

His lips were thin, but soft. Seymore remembered the fruity smell of oranges, from whatever Nite bathed in. He held around the smaller man, leaning against the wall behind them, and slightly parted his lips, hoping to continue what he had dreamt of for so long.

Nite was curious and soft, and when he finally opened his mouth, his tongue was gentle and trembling. His whole _body_ was trembling.

He had dreamt of this for months, but his imagination could never compare to this; how soft and fragile the small man was, and how desperately he held onto to the troll, both with his lips and arms. When he finally pulled away, those big, mahogany eyes watched him, carefully and with a sincerity he longed for.

,,I want you,’’ Nite whispered, leaning against the troll before he kissed him again. Seymore felt the familiar warmth spread across his body, as he loosely traced down the sorcerer’s spine.

He held longingly around the younger man’s neck, guiding him as they kissed. They sat like this, just kissing and holding each other, for what felt like an eternity, but Seymore could have stayed right there forever, if he was given the opportunity.

He hated himself for wanting this so much, that it had gotten so much out of control. He hated that Nite felt this way too, because he knew he had to break it off at some point, before the Madam returned home. But mostly, he hated himself for indulging further into their cocoon of warmth and safety.

Nite slowly grinded against him. He felt excited himself, but as always, he never initiated anything, and just waited for Nite to decide if he wanted to fool around or not. The sorcerer seemed so into the kissing, that he barely registered anything else.

,,Touch me,’’ he begged, and Seymore needed no more before he slowly began to tease around the young man’s nipples. Nite panted and whined against the troll’s lips, shivering delightfully in the process. Then the troll leaned down, kissing and sucking on the sorcerer’s neck, lightly scraping him with his teeth. ,, _Uhm, fuck_ ,’’ he muttered, still grinding against the troll. ,,Let me touch you,’’ he begged, but Seymore didn’t move.

,,Not yet,’’ he mumbled, lightly tracing his hands down the small man’s thin body. When he held around Nite’s ass, he remembered he still wore his briefs, and lightly groaned as he felt the fabric. Without hesitation, he ripped them wide open, lightly spreading the cheeks of the flustered human.

,, _Seymore!_ ’’ he scolded him surprised. ,,I could have taken them _off!_ ’’ The troll chuckled, his mouth still against his neck.

,, _Yes_ , but then you had to get down. And then I would be cold, so it’s no good,’’ he chuckled before kissing the human again. He grabbed around his ass, squeezing and pinching him, making the human shiver again. He could feel how hard Nite was through the rest of the briefs, and how wet his dick already was, from the precum forming in the front of the fabric. ,,Can I touch you here?’’ he asked against the humans lips, slowly letting a finger slide down between his ass cheeks.

,, _Yes_ , it should be fine,’’ he mumbled, pressing lightly against the troll’s thick finger. ,,I want you,’’ he whispered again, kissing the troll as he pushed the finger further inside.

Nite wasn’t as tense or concentrated as he used to be, like this. He had never been able to make Nite come without touching his cock as well, so he didn’t fear that the human suddenly would come without notice now. It was an _unbearable_ , sweet pain that ran through him, as he put another finger into the sorcerer, feeling how hard it made him to sit like this; his lips finally against the human’s, his fingers deep inside him and Nite’s hands that lightly tucked in his long ears to make him come closer.

,, _M-more,_ ’’ he whined, only breaking away from the green lips shortly, before he connected them again. His mouth felt hot and wet, and his teeth scraped against the troll’s thin lips.

Seymore happily inserted another finger. The most he had ever put into the sorcerer was four, but not in this position. Like this, he could use both hands, stretching him a little more in the process. When it felt too dry or tight to move, he spat on his fingers, his saliva thick, making the young man blush and shudder.

He couldn’t push away his desire to put his cock into the small man on his lap. He lightly tried to jerk himself off while most of his fingers where inside the panting sorcerer. He couldn’t remember he had _ever_ wanted to fuck another man as much as right now, and he couldn’t settle his lust.

,,… _Fuck it,_ ’’ he growled, stretching Nite slightly as he placed him on top of his all too hard cock. This seemed to gain the sorcerer’s attention, as his eyes grew wide and he looked behind him.

,,… What are you doing?’’ he said, curiously looking behind him. ,,That’s not… your fingers…’’ he said slowly, feeling the glans against his anus.

,,I know,’’ he apologized. ,,I… _really, really_ want to… _fuck you_ , but I’m also _terrified_ at the same time,’’ he admitted, kissing Nite’s neck again, consumed by his drunkenly horny mind. Nite whined, as he lightly pressed against the cock underneath him.

,,Is that… alright? Is that even possible?’’ he asked, shaking as he felt the pressure again. It didn’t slip inside, but it was close. ,,Is this something people do?’’ he asked, trying to catch the amber eyes in the dark room.

,,This is how sex between men can be,’’ he panted, slowly jerking himself off against the tight entrance. ,, _Fuck¸_ how I want it. But I need to know it’s okay,’’ he begged, licking his own lips slightly.

,, _Of course_ I want it, but… will it hurt? You’re… _so fucking big_ , and I like that, but… Won’t it be dirty or painful, or… _something?_ ’’ he asked, rubbing against him very intensely at this point.

,,If it’s painful, I’ll stop,’’ he said, kissing the sorcerer once. ,,If I get dirty, I’ll clean myself. And hopefully, it _will_ be something. Hopefully, something you enjoy,’’ he whispered, kissing him again.

,,I trust you,’’ he said between kisses, his voice soft and small. ,,… Have you done this before?’’ Seymore shook his head.

,,Not like this. I’ve always been… ahm, in _your_ position,’’ he said, slowly pushing upwards. Nite leaned his sparse body weight against Seymore, as he spread his ass to make easier access. ,,Mmmh, you’re very tight. Are you nervous?’’ he said, feeling the tip slide in. He nodded slowly, before looking up at the troll again.

,,Yerh… But _that’s_ normal, right? I mean, being nervous when… it’s your… first time?’’ he said, pushing down himself. ,,How _the fuck_ am I going to get this _thing_ inside me?’’ he asked, almost desperately as the head slipped in.

,,Shhh, don’t rush. We’re not in a hurry,’’ he said softly, licking the top of Nite’s round ears. Oh, how he wanted to slam himself inside him, bite and mark him as his, but at the same time, what he wanted most was for Nite to enjoy this, so he _maybe_ would be blessed enough to be like this with him again, at some point. ,,How do you feel?’’ he asked gently.

,,… Not _bad_ , just frustrated,’’ he muttered. ,,It feels _weirder_ than your fingers. But not bad,’’ he assured him. He was still stiff and rubbed against Seymore’s hard stomach, through his briefs.

Seymore leaned a little more against the wall, trying to half-lay against it, so Nite would be more in control and in a sitting position. This seemed to make it a little easier, and it also gave Seymore room to lube up his dick a little more, pulling slightly out, spitting on his fingers so Nite would have it easier, gliding down again.

This seemed to work, but he couldn’t get that much in. Seymore had guessed as much, but just laid back, mesmerized by the sight of the young man, trying his hardest to take more of him.

,,It’s not even that far in,’’ Nite complained, moaning as he began to rock up and down. He sat down weirdly, a little too hard, shrieking by surprise in the process.

,, _Fuck!_ Are you okay, Wi-,’’ he tried, but the young man cut him off, planting both of his long hands on the troll’s mouth.

,, _Don’t use that name_ ,’’ he said, through gritted teeth of pain. Seymore had been so concerned he had almost used his birth name, but Nite didn’t seem angry. Just a little pained, but still visibly horny. ,,It’s fine, I was just a little impatient,’’ he admitted.

,,I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to call you that,’’ he mumbled, kissing the small man again. ,,Nice and _slow_ , _Nite_. It’s _very_ nice, and I want you to feel nice, too,’’ he hummed against the human’s lips.

,,… I do… It’s just weird and intense, too,’’ he panted, kissing the troll again. He liked this. Nite barely moved his body, but his kisses were greedy and lust-filled, making Seymore’s cock ache heavenly. He slowly grabbed around Nite’s ass again, guiding him slowly up and down. ,,Mmmh, that’s… good…’’ he moaned, hiding his face in the crook of the troll’s neck.

Nite clung to him, as if he needed it to survive. He moaned louder now. As they kept going, his breath got unsteady and he rocked his hips as well. Every time Seymore pushed into his smaller partner, the _wet_ noise rang through the room, making him even more eager every time.

Seymore liked sounds and smells, and the mix between his cock slowly pushing into the small man, their mixed moans and wet kisses, with the smell of their bodies, drove him crazy. Not like he needed to come, quite the opposite. If he could, he would stay like this until Nite _begged_ for release. The thought alone, if Nite could get as into _this_ as he was with the troll’s fingers, was almost too exciting.

Then he felt Nite’s lips against his neck, first kissing him gently, before he licked and nibbled the green skin. Seymore gasped loudly, as he felt the sorcerer’s teeth sink into his neck, jerking forward and making Nite himself moan in the process.

,,Was it too hard?’’ he asked, licking the spot he bit.

,, _No_ , it’s _amazing_ ,’’ he groaned, seeking his lips again. He felt Nite hesitantly bite down on the troll’s coarse lips, not as hard as the neck, but hard enough to make him whine delighted. Nite looked at him, his eyes half-lidded as he licked his lips, as if Seymore’s moans were sweet nectar for him.

,,Will you bite me?’’ he asked suddenly, leaning a little to the side to give the troll access to his neck. ,,Not… _crazy_ hard, but… You like that stuff, right? It’ll be okay?’’ he asked, almost blushing as the troll stopped in a motion.

,,I rather kiss you,’’ he smiled against the pale, exposed skin, kissing him longingly, licking the sorcerer’s collarbone. ,,I don’t need to mark you,’’ he whispered against the skin.

,, _Mark me_ ,’’ he begged, as he began riding the troll a little harder. ,, _Please_ , Seymore, I want to be _marked_ by _you_ ,’’ he whined, as Seymore grabbed around his ass again.

Seymore hesitated before he slowly bit down. He tried to keep in check how Nite reacted, increasing his strength a little by little, until he heard a particular whine from the younger man. When he pulled away, he noticed the bite mark, his teeth denting the soft skin beautifully.

,,That was too hard, I’m sorry,’’ Seymore said, kissing right above the mark to not irritate the skin further.

,,No, _no_ , it was good,’’ he moaned, drooling a little as far as Seymore could see through the dusk place. ,,A-ah, I’m already so close Seymore. Why _the fuck_ can’t I last a little longer?’’ he blabbered against the troll’s shoulder.

,,You’re swearing like a drunken dwarf,’’ he chuckled, pushing him as far down as he could. He was about halfway in, as far as he could feel. Nite was hot and he clenched tightly around him. He didn’t mind that he couldn’t get further in. This was the furthest in he had _ever_ been with a man, and he silently thanked Nite for letting him try. ,,You like it? Am I hitting your _spot?_ ’’ he asked.

,,Yerh, but it’s not as precise as when you use your fingers,’’ he panted, kissing him again. ,,But _this_ is like _magic_ for my soul,’’ he whispered, moaning as Seymore kissed him again.

He couldn’t agree more. Finally being inside the sorcerer was indeed amazing and everything he could have ever hoped for, but kissing him would be what he would fantasize about for _months_ to come.

He tried to guide him firmer down, not hard, but hopefully enough to hit his prostate more. He thanked the stars for how sensitive Nite was, how eager he was to learn and please, and how easy it was to make him feel good. He wanted that, to make Nite feel good. And by the way he moaned against the troll’s lips, he was in no doubt he did so.

Nite whined and drooled against his shoulder, mumbling unrecognizable words at this point. Seymore held him up and guided him down his cock with one hand, while he slowly let the other down between the sorcerer’s legs, trying to free him from the remaining fabric.

,, _Stars_ , you’re so hard,’’ he whispered in the sorcerer’s ear. ,,I can’t _wait_ for you to shoot _all_ over me. Can’t wait to feel how _tight_ you’ll get when you do,’’ he groaned, feeling Nite lean more of his weight against his big, strong body.

,,If you say lewd stuff like t-that…!’’ he moaned, but didn’t finish his sentence, before Seymore felt him clench and heard him scream against his shoulder. He felt the human’s teeth sink into his shoulder, a lot harder than last time, too. While Nite came all over Seymore’s hand and both of their stomachs, the troll tried his hardest not to come right then and there as he felt the pain run through his body.

He didn’t stop biting down, either, as he jerked forward, shivering and clenching in what felt like forever. His dick was still hard and pulsating, even after he had come, and he slowly started to release the troll again, collapsing on the bitemark, resting in the troll’s warm embrace.

,,By _Am_ , that was… amazing…’’ he panted, still shaking a little as Seymore caressed his body. His lips felt numb from all the kissing, but he sought the sorcerer’s again, wanting every breath he graced him with. And maybe he did as well? It really felt like that. ,,You haven’t come yet,’’ Nite noted between kisses, as his breath steadied. ,,Doesn’t it feel good?’’

,,It’s _lovely_ ,’’ he whispered against the sorcerer’s lips, making Nite shiver again. ,,I just want it to last. But I can stop, if you’re too tired or sensitive to keep going,’’ he said, still licking and kissing the small man dearly.

,,No I want you to come,’’ he whined as Seymore started to move again. ,,Come for me, you horny troll,’’ he demanded, biting down on the troll’s lower lip as they kissed again, trying not to scream, it seemed. Seymore held around Nite, fucking him a little rougher at this point, still trying to hold back so he wouldn’t hurt him accidentally.

He could feel it creep closer, but not as fast as he wanted it too. Nite didn’t seem too displeased, but he remember how he had felt himself, when Ruvaen had made him come like this. And by all means, he didn’t want the sorcerer to be _too_ sore tomorrow.

He reached underneath Nite, his cock still deep into the smaller man, as he jerked himself off as well. The added pressure of Nite biting and moaning into his mouth seemed to help him along as well.

,,I’m so close,’’ he muttered. ,,Where can I come?’’ he asked, starting to pull out, but Nite sat down a little harder than before.

,,You’re not going _anywhere_ ,’’ he smirked, pressing himself as far down as he could. ,, _And you’re still not even that deep in_ ,’’ he muttered underneath his breath, putting his arms around the troll’s neck. ,,Inside,’’ he begged, kissing his lips again, as Seymore finally let the orgasm run through himself.

He held the small man so closely, that it almost felt suffocating. Everything felt tense inside him for a moment, before he came with an almost pained groan, relaxing as he shot inside the sorcerer. It didn’t seem like Nite had expected the force with which he came, but he clung to the troll’s shoulders and managed to ride his orgasm out, before he finally fell limbless into the troll’s embrace.

They sat like this, for a while, feeling their bodies cool of as they tried to catch their breaths. Nite would still lean up to kiss the troll, but his kisses weren’t as hungry now, though they were just as sweet. He felt sweaty and gross, but Nite didn’t seem to notice or mind.

,,We need to wash up,’’ Seymore mumbled against the pale lips, not in any hurry to get up. ,,And then I need you to eat dinner.’’

,,I don’t wanna get up,’’ he pouted, tiredly relaxing in the troll’s embrace. ,,I just want to kiss. Have you any _idea_ how long I waited for this?’’ he whispered longingly.

,,We’ll kiss later, Nite,’’ he tried, but didn’t try too hard to untangle himself. ,,It’s been a long day. You need food,’’ he said firmly.

,,Do you promise that?’’ he whispered, the mahogany eyes burning into the amber ones.

,,What?’’ he asked a little absentminded.

,,Do you promise to _kiss_ me again?’’ His lips were so gentle, but sincere. ,,I _want_ you. I love you,’’ he whispered, afraid to look into the troll’s sad eyes.

,,… Don’t say that,’’ he begged.

,,Why? Why can’t I love you? Why is it so _hard_ for you that I do so?’’ he said sternly.

,,… It’s not the time to talk about that,’’ he tried. ,,Let’s wash up, let’s eat. I promise I won’t leave you, but please. Be reasonable, Nite,’’ he said.

,,I don’t want to be reasonable,’’ he said. ,,I want to live in a world, where I can love you. Where you don’t have to explain why I _can’t_ , because you don’t need to. I _want_ you,’’ he said again, more agitated and demanding now.

Seymore didn’t answer, he simply just lifted both himself and the sorcerer. Nite squeaked, being held in the troll’s strong arms as he carried the small man to the washroom to clean him up.

,,You can’t just stay _mute_ in matters like these,’’ Nite muttered as the troll washed him off. It felt so natural to be like this; washing of his small Master, making sure he wasn’t hurt or bruised. The sorcerer squeaked slightly when he washed between his legs, making sure there wasn’t semen everywhere. ,,Tell me you don’t want _any_ of this, and I’ll shut up,’’ he said as he stepped out of the shower.

,,I can’t do that, and you know that,’’ the troll said calmly, washing himself as Nite dried off. ,,I want things, like they are now. I don’t want another lover. But I don’t want to hurt you, either. I’m not doing this to punish you,’’ he tried.

,,It _feels_ like that,’’ he muttered. ,,Seymore, I have nothing to lose. After today, I barely know _who I am_. If you have some weird complex with… _this_ or _us_ , I don’t care. I literally don’t _care_ about whatever happens out _there_. We’re _not_ out _there_ ,’’ he said, crossing his arms.

,,… You’re right, in many ways,’’ Seymore said slowly. The water felt chilly, all of a sudden. ,,But _I_ am still _out there_ , Nite. I _want_ to be out there. Not _right_ _now_ , but at some point. If I could always be _here_ , never disturbed again from the outside world… then I probably wouldn’t _care_ whatever you called me,’’ he said, his gaze saddened. ,,And at some point… you’ll get out there, too. You’ll look at the world around you, and you’ll find out why you’re _too young_ to settle down with… just some troll, you don’t really know.’’

Nite looked sternly at him, but didn’t answer. For a time, he kept staring, before he looked away, arms still crossed. He seemed to understand the troll’s words, even though he didn’t like them.

,,… Okay…’’ he finally said. ,,I’m not your lover. But I don’t want to stop… _whatever this is_ ,’’ he said, gesturing between them. ,,… I need you… I’m still so confused,’’ he admitted, as the troll calmly placed his arms around him again.

,,I am _here_. If you can… _trust_ me, I am here,’’ he said, lifting the sorcerer again.

,,Why do you keep _lifting_ me around?’’ he sneered, but didn’t try to get down. Seymore was still naked, while Nite was covered in a towel, but it bothered him less right now.

,,Because you’re troublesome to argue with. I want you to have dinner, and this is easier than waiting for you to get ready to go,’’ he smiled. He hesitated for a moment, before he kissed the top of the small man’s head. There was no point in denying himself the small gesture, anymore.

,,Well aren’t _you_ the one to talk,’’ he mumbled, as Seymore sat him down again. ,,You want me to eat _naked?_ Can’t I _at least_ go get my clothes?’’ he asked. ,,… And underwear… Why did you ruin my undergarments like that?’’ he said, blushing a little as Seymore served him his food.

,,… Because I was impatient,’’ he admitted. ,,Like you are now. Start eating, I’ll get you clean clothes, okay?’’ he said, gently patting the human as he left.

He felt dizzy and tired. He hadn’t slept at all, and he felt confused and emotional. Having a minute for himself felt nice. The day felt like it had lasted _weeks_ at this point.

He wandered into Nite’s bedroom, without looking around too much. His bed looked big and soft, beautifully carved, but unused for the most part. His closet was enormous, holding more clothes than he had ever expected that Nite had, considering he only wore his big, oversized sweaters in dull colors. But he had colorful shirts of fine fabrics, stylish and formal, just like he had worn on the night that his mother had left the castle.

Despite all that, he chose one of Nite’s usual big sweaters, lose pants and new briefs, he had yet to shed. Seymore gathered his own clothes before he returned to the freezing sorcerer, who gladly accepted them. To his delight, he had begun eating his meal.

,,You’re not hungry?’’ Nite asked as he put his pants on.

,,… Do you want me to eat with you?’’ he asked, instead of answering the question.

,,If you’re _hungry_ , then yes,’’ Nite said, rolling his eyes. ,,… But yes… I _would_ like company,’’ he smiled confidently as he sat down to continue.

Then the silence hit them, like a brick. They ate and tried to process the day, it seemed, but Seymore still had so many questions. About Nite, about his situation, about _Aenamo_ itself. But he didn’t know if Nite would be up for talking right now, and he barely knew how to begin.

On the other hand, he expected Nite to be thinking about other things, despite his situation and relationship with his mother. Like why Seymore so adamantly didn’t want to be lovers, despite him so _clearly_ caring for the sorcerer. Maybe it was hard for him to tell, that he cared?

,,I have a favor to ask you,’’ Seymore said, finally looking over at Nite again. For once, the troll had hardly touched his food, but Nite was almost done. Probably hoping to get dessert. ,,… There’s a lot of things, I don’t understand. Can you… Would you be willing to teach me about magic? Not how to use it, but how it affects the world around us and the likes of that,’’ he said slowly. ,,I want to understand your situation. And… if I can, I want to help,’’ he smiled.

Nite was silent for a moment, before he smiled the biggest smile he had ever seen. He could hardly contain himself.

,, _Yes_ , of _course!_ Always!’’ he said, finishing his food in a hurry. ,,Now?’’ he said, forgetting all about the pie in the cooler.

,,No, _tomorrow,_ Nite. It’s been such a long day,’’ he smiled forgivingly. ,,But… I’m glad to see you so eager to teach me. I’m still… I don’t feel comfortable with magic, but-,’’ he tried, but the sorcerer stood up and hugged him tightly.

,,I know. But I’ll teach you and you’ll understand, and then _everything_ will be perfect,’’ he claimed, smiling widely. He was about to run off, just like he used to, when Seymore gently grabbed his hand. It seemed to surprise both of them a bit.

,,… Can you sit with me, for a bit longer? I know you probably want to read and prepare. But I… I would like some company, if that’s alright,’’ he smiled softly. If Nite ran away to start researching for tomorrow, he would be up all night, and the troll knew very well that the human still needed to sleep. And everything considered, Seymore really _did_ want some company.

Nite nodded, moved the chair and sat beside the troll instead. He began to talk about the wonders of magic, and how amazing it all had made Aenamo. Seymore tried to keep up, but he was too tired to focus on Nite’s endless words. It didn’t stop the sorcerer, and he passionately continued, even though the troll just silently ate. He couldn’t get himself to stop him, and in the end, he just liked to see Nite like this; so happy and content, after all what they had been through today.

,,Hey? You’re tired?’’ the sorcerer suddenly asked. Seymore had barely been aware that he had finished his meal. ,,It’s okay. We’ll continue tomorrow,’’ he smiled, standing up again and waiting for Seymore to do the same.

,,You didn’t get dessert,’’ he said, yawning in the process.

,,I’ll get that tomorrow,’’ he said, taking the troll’s hand and guiding him down the hallway. He stopped at his own room, and looked vaguely inside.

,,… You can sleep in your own bed, if you prefer,’’ Seymore said with a small smile. But just as he had hoped, Nite shook his head and pulled him further along the hallway, until they reached the basement chamber.

,,I rather sleep with you,’’ he said as they went down into the dark room. They stripped before they laid down again, and Seymore felt how tired his body was at this point. Not tired enough to not lay and watch the human through the dark, caressing him slightly on his back. Nite’s head was on the troll’s chest, his tiny arms around his big body.

And as so many times before, he just wanted to stay right _here_ , not contemplating whether it was right or wrong to like Nite, not dreading the day the Madam would return, but just being _here_ , were things were nice and warm and simple. After all, he was just a simple troll; even in a not so simple situation.

The next morning, when Nite woke up, he was surprised to see the troll still sleeping. He couldn’t recall he had ever seen Seymore sleep, so he just laid there, studying him for a bit, as he did with all things fascinating him.


	7. 7) The halfmoon

A long, long time ago, Aenamo broke free from the world below, the Mainland, Vaihines. No one knew _exactly_ why, and few people cared, by now. It was thousands of years ago, and it hardly mattered _why_ or _how_.

Some said that powerful species, the first rulers, had lifted the ocean of islands to escape oppression on the Mainland, a place where magic wasn’t as common, and often times feared. Some said that magic had lifted the islands themselves; that for some reason, magic had escaped and been too powerful for the world below to control. Then again, some said that _Am_ had lifted it all, then vanished, to protect other, unknown worlds.

Am was a God, mostly celebrated in North. Throughout Aenamo, there were many deities, Gods and practices, but by far the biggest belief was Am. Even though most of the islands in North believed in him, his words where spread through the realms, from the East, to the West, down to South and to the Center Isles as well, as a ghost of something, many believed to be true.

Nite _didn’t_ believe in Am. He didn’t believe in Gods or higher powers at all, for that matter. But he believed in _magic_. You couldn’t study or see Gods, but you _could_ study and _control_ magic. It was all around you, although not visible, _clearly_ existing.

His _mother_ had tried to teach him about Am. For some reason, she fully believed that the stories about him lifting Aenamo was true. Nite didn’t believe that. It was _clear_ that _magic_ had lifted this place. Why else would the magic flow so freely throughout the realms?

Then Nite figured, that Am could be a metaphor _for_ magic. That made sense to him. It made his mother happy that he somewhat believed in Am, and if he experienced Am _as_ magic, he did somewhat believe the fantastical stories he heard about him.

It had surprised him, when Seymore had thought of it as tell tales, that his mother was from Vaihines. That he didn’t _know_ that people came from down there, up here. Truth be told, not many did complete the journey. Not enough that it was normal, he guessed, but enough that it wasn’t _unheard of_ or _crazy to believe_ , he thought. In any way, more believable than people _leaving_ Aenamo, except the cases that people just _fell down from the sky_.

He had learned much throughout the months with Seymore. Mostly how it wasn’t common for him to know all this stuff. But what else should he do with his time, than read? He had all the time in the world, and nothing with substance to spend it on. And every time he learned something new, he hoped that _this_ would be the thing he needed to take his studies further with his mother. That day never arrived, and he hardly believed it to do so, now.

Seymore wasn’t _dumb_ , he believed. Not compared to what he could gather about other trolls. Trolls were _simple_ , but Seymore wasn’t. Every time he thought he knew what the troll wanted or what he needed, he flipped it around and wanted something completely else. A flaw that humans had, he thought. Maybe the troll would grow out of it? He was still young. Or more likely, it was something he had grown into, living away from other trolls for such a long time.

Nite rarely understood the world around him, because he had never seen it. He didn’t understand _people_ , because he couldn’t remember he had ever _talked_ with anyone, besides his mother and Seymore. He knew the castle at one point had had more staff, but he didn’t remember them. He remembered very few things, from before he moved to the rundown part of the castle, to focus on his studies and distance himself from his mother, which gaze always hurt him in strange ways.

But when Seymore looked at him, it didn’t really matter what he was thinking. If he was concerned or happy or sad, all that mattered was that he was looking _at_ him and he saw _him_. Not what he wanted Nite to be. Seymore didn’t want Nite to be anything, particular. He could just be _Nite_ , and he would still look at him the same way.

And now when he looked at him, the troll still sleeping by his side, he wondered if Seymore _knew_ that Nite looked at him the same way? He could be _anything_ , and Nite would still look at him and want him just as much. It didn’t _matter_ that he was a troll, and had strange habits compared to humans. Nite was pretty strange himself, he thought. He didn’t mind if Seymore didn’t eat as neatly, or if he needed to be _touched_ to not dwell too far into himself.

He didn’t really think about things as _beauty_ , before now. He had never looked at himself and thought he was _beautiful_ , but he hadn’t looked at anyone else and thought so, either. He didn’t really _care_ for beauty, he thought.

As he grew older, he found that the people he read about piqued his interest more and more, but it was never the fair ladies or the lads with chiseled chins that got him going. He found _oddities_ to interest and arouse him. Like ghosts with abnormalities, or any species that didn’t fall under _normal_. Maybe he sought something familiar, because he felt so out of place himself, but often times, he felt attracted to big bodies, of all genders. Big arms, big stomachs, big butts…

He had never really thought about his attraction to genders, before his mother continued to talk about his future love interest as a woman. He didn’t ask about it, but noticed she referred to her own former lovers as men. It was first when he noticed that she described _Seymore’s_ former lovers as men as well, that he got confused.

She didn’t express any disgust that Seymore liked men. She simply told him that some people liked their own sex, rather than the opposite. He always believed that he at some point _had_ to choose a gender to feel attracted to, and it felt weird for him to like one over others. When Seymore had told he didn’t have to choose at all, he felt some sort of euphoria and relief, he hardly had imagined that he could even feel.

Although he had rarely had a problem with not being beautiful, he _did_ feel some sort of insecurity thinking of Seymore’s past lover. Though he didn’t think of Seymore as vain or superficial, he couldn’t help but feel jealous at the way he spoke about _‘him’_ , although rarely, but with such care.

He often wondered why they weren’t together anymore, but Seymore would never answer him. He didn’t want to pry, but he couldn’t help but feel that _this_ was the biggest reason why Seymore wouldn’t commit to being his lover.

Seymore looked rather peaceful when he slept, he thought to himself. His scars made him look older, but in his sleep, he couldn’t keep up his facades in any way. This was what he was; a troll. A tired troll, a gentle troll, but in the end; a troll. He didn’t mind this. In fact, he thought he kind of liked that about him.

He laid close to his warm body, still naked and barely covered by the blankets. He wondered what made the troll so tired today, if it was due to his panic yesterday, or if he had been just as emotional when Nite had been in his room, as he himself had been? Maybe both? Maybe neither.

When had he fallen for Seymore? He wasn’t quite sure. It was easy to say it was sometime after they started to fool around, but he didn’t think that was quite it. His hormones had been crazy for a while before Seymore even moved into this part of the castle, one of his biggest annoyances with the troll moving to the basement chamber to begin with.

But they had gone completely haywire after he had seen the half-naked troll that faithful night. He didn’t intend to be creepy, and it was obvious, even to him, that Seymore didn’t intend for him to see him, but everything went off after that time. He didn’t really feel any shame masturbating to the thought of Seymore, but mostly, he didn’t want it to just be fantasies. He hadn’t expected the awkward troll to be all over him just at the mentioning of something sexual, but on the other hand, he didn’t understand why Seymore hesitated, either.

It was safe to say that his _feelings_ , whatever they were, grew stronger as time passed. But he had somewhat felt this strange, _soothing_ thing ever since Seymore had suggested that Nite didn’t need to be _anyone or anything,_ other than Nite. He hadn’t thought of it as a crush or _love_ , but looking back, he had felt pretty content ever since the troll moved into the basement chamber.

He liked when Seymore touched him, but mostly it had been his hormones that went out of hand. He _loved_ when Seymore showed him new things or touched him different places, but sleeping with him, cuddling up against him and _kissing him_ was the things he mostly thought about, when he was alone.

He had never asked himself why they didn’t kiss, before he read the romance novel. Ever since then, he frequently wondered why Seymore thought it was so _personal_ , compared to sex. Even if the troll denied his request of being lovers, Nite couldn’t help but feel they moved closer to being that, now that they had kissed.

Seymore hadn’t pushed him aside, as he had somewhat expected. The kiss had felt welcomed, gentle and natural. It had felt like, despite what Seymore would say, that the troll had longed for this, just as much as he himself had.

With a light hand, he caressed the sleeping man by his side. He wanted him to wake up, so he could watch those deep, amber eyes anew. He wanted to see what Seymore would _do_ , not being the first to wake. He wondered if he would be flustered or happy or horny, maybe? He wanted to kiss him again, just like the troll had promised.

He didn’t know or understand what Seymore wanted. Every time he was _sure_ that the troll liked him, he would pull away in some sense, making him unsure again. He didn’t understand Seymore’s words. He _liked_ him, but he didn’t want a lover. He wanted to _help_ him, but he kept listing reasons for Nite not to like him. He wouldn’t _leave_ him, but he always seemed to keep his distance.

He often wondered if this was due to Seymore’s past lover, or Nite himself. Maybe he wasn’t pretty or nice enough for Seymore. Maybe the troll was too fearful of his magic? Maybe he just didn’t like him, like that.

The troll moved to his side, slowly opening his eyes as Nite kept caressing him. He seemed confused for a moment, before he sat up, looking around.

,,Good morning,’’ Nite said, his voice a little hoarse from sleeping. Seymore still looked confused, massaging his head slightly. ,,… You didn’t sleep well?’’ he asked, almost a little concerned.

,,No… I mean, yes, but… I must have been _tired,_ ’’ he mumbled, fumbling around for the pocket watch on his shelf. ,,It’s almost _nine_ ,’’ he croaked. It suddenly seemed to dawn on him that Nite was still beside him. ,,Oh,’’ he smiled awkwardly.

,,You seemed so peaceful, so I didn’t bother to wake you up,’’ he shrugged, laying down again underneath the blankets. ,,Besides, you don’t need to work _always_ , Seymore. We… It was a long day yesterday. You deserve to sleep in, you know?’’ he said, hopeful that the troll would lay down beside him again, but he didn’t. He just watched Nite with this expression, that he couldn’t really decipher. So intensely, as if he searched for something deep within the sorcerer.

,,… Maybe you’re right,’’ he smiled. ,,I just…’’

,,… Prefer to get up first,’’ Nite said, eyeing the flustered troll. He nodded, guilty as charged. ,,I’ve noticed,’’ he said, padding the mattress beside himself, and Seymore slowly laid down near him again.

,,I like to start my days early,’’ he tried, but Nite knew it was only half the truth. He could often pin point that Seymore wasn’t completely honest with him, but not why, and more often he couldn’t really figure out what the troll was thinking or feeling in general.

Nite only nodded, before he cuddled up against the troll’s big, green body again. He could hear his pounding heart, the sound rather soothing for him. When they laid like this, it didn’t really matter what Seymore was thinking about, because he still indulged enough in Nite’s shenanigans either way.

But when he moved up to kiss the troll, not even thinking about it that much, Seymore pulled away, just as flustered as when he woke up. It surprised the sorcerer, and he sat up with a displeased look on his face.

,,What’s the problem?’’ he asked, crossing his arms around his knees.

,,I just… feel _icky_ , in the mornings… It’s nothing else, I promise, I just… I need to wash up, before that,’’ he tried. Nite rolled his eyes, scooting himself close to the troll again, looking into the big, uncertain, amber eyes, searching for answers he couldn’t get.

,,You should know by now I don’t _care_ about stuff like that. You’re _fine_ ,’’ he whispered, but didn’t try to close the space between them again.

,,… I promise you, _later_ , not now,’’ he mumbled, caressing the small man in front of him.

,,Okay,’’ he sighed, cuddling up into his embrace again. ,,Did I startle you? By being awake, I mean. It’s because it’s _easier_ at night, isn’t it? And when it’s throughout the day… I don’t know, you feel trapped in some sense?’’ he asked quietly. Seymore didn’t stop with caressing his back, but he simply just grumbled above him.

,,I can’t remember the last time I slept in this much,’’ he admitted. ,,… But yes, it startled me, a little. I don’t know if _trapped_ is the right word. You just… _We_ just rarely discussed these things, throughout the day so… I _assumed_ it was night time activities, only,’’ he shrugged. ,,But don’t worry, Nite. It’s not _you,_ I’m just… a little weird with these things, I guess,’’ he tried, smiling subtly down to the small man.

They laid in silence for a while. Nite didn’t want Seymore to feel _weird_ about any of this. He wanted him to understand, that from the way _he_ was seeing it, it made perfect sense to make Seymore his lover. But on the other hand, this _was_ nice, and maybe labels didn’t matter as much in the end.

,,There’s still pie from yesterday,’’ Seymore suddenly said, trying to catch Nite’s attention again.

,,But this is _so nice_ ,’’ he whined, cuddling closer to the troll instead.

,,Nite you need to eat,’’ he said firmly. ,,Come on. You _barely_ ate yesterday. Besides…’’ He hesitated for a moment, before he smiled tiredly. ,,Weren’t you supposed to teach me about _magic_ later today? We need to eat before that.’’

The sorcerer’s face lit up, before he jumped up from the mattress, finally ready to get his clothes on. He barely noticed Seymore’s gaze as he dressed, before he turned around and saw the red tips at the end of his pointy ears.

,,Oh _now_ you’re not in a hurry?’’ he smirked, crossing his arms, as Seymore slowly got up to get dressed himself. He tried not to be obvious when he looked at the older man, but he knew he was. Seymore’s body interested him, so far from his own, and so in touch with what he usually fancied. He would never admit that he _liked_ being held and carried around in those big, strong arms, but now he wished he hadn’t told him off yesterday when he had done so.

They went out of the small chamber and parted in the hallway; Seymore to wash up and himself to get breakfast. Seymore had baked _a lot_ the day before, he noticed. It was kind of sweet, he thought. Regardless of what he said, and whatever Nite thought, Seymore really _did_ care, in some way.

There were bread and sweet buns, pie and cookies. He didn’t exactly know _how_ long he had been in his study chamber the day before, but Seymore must had spent all day baking.

Nite didn’t really _feel_ hungry, but he did understand the troll’s concern, so he took a little of everything for himself, and made a plate for the troll as well. If he was lucky, Seymore would eat with him, and then they could study afterwards.

He couldn’t _believe_ that he nearly _forgot_ about that! He had wanted to teach Seymore about magic ever since he healed his hand, because despite believing that Seymore was afraid of _him_ , he felt there were no reason to be afraid of _magic_ , a thing so natural and essential to their world. If anything, he wanted to show Seymore he didn’t _have_ to be afraid, so he could relax around him. And now, more than ever, he wanted to _share_ this part of himself with the troll that he had grown so close to.

Seymore popped into the dining area shortly after, surprised by the plates, it seemed. Surely, this looked neater than when he had tried to cook himself for the older man’s birthday.

,,You’re _actually_ eating, that’s amazing,’’ he chuckled as he sat down in front of him. He didn’t eat at first, but then it seemed like hunger overtook him. ,,Thank you,’’ he smiled, rather cheerfully eating his bread.

,,Well, you made a lot for me. And I know… you don’t really like to eat, with others, but yesterday… you didn’t want me to go, either, so I hoped…’’ he said, fumbling with the words.

,,I know, I know. It’s very nice,’’ he said calmly. They ate in silence for moment, before the young man cleared his throat and asked:

,,Why… _is it_ , that you don’t like to eat with me?’’ Seymore stopped in a motion, startling Nite for a moment, but the troll didn’t look upset.

,,… It’s actually pretty simple. When I lived at the Center Isles, people would make fun of me, for whatever reason they could come up with. My eating habits was one of the more mayor things. I didn’t eat with the other servants or maids, when I arrived here, either. I’ve never joined your mother for dinner, when she has suggested it,’’ he said slowly. It looked like his cheeks brightened, but it was hard to say against the deep, moss green skin. ,,I stopped doing a lot of things the way I did back home, when I arrived at the Center Isles.’’

,,That’s stupid,’’ Nite scoffed, quickly regretting his words of choice. ,,I mean, _not you_ , but… that people _do that_ ,’’ he clarified. ,,I don’t mind the way you eat.’’ Seymore smiled, but he knew the words didn’t settle as deep as the memory he had.

,,I’m glad,’’ he said, with his deep, raspy voice. ,,It’s rather funny, actually, that whatever kind words I received at the Center Isles… all I seem to remember are the things I had to _change_. That’s why… I don’t _mind_ being a troll, but I don’t _feel_ very troll-ish anymore, as I had to change so many things about myself,’’ he admitted.

,,You shouldn’t have to,’’ Nite said, suddenly feeling irritated. Not at the troll, but at _the world_. ,,Why are people _like_ that?’’ he asked, his gaze fading into a void, his question a mere echo in his head, before he realized that Seymore was still looking at him.

When he looked at the troll like this, still hurt so many years after, he couldn’t really fathom _why_ people would treat him badly. Even _if_ Seymore had been more troll like back then, he couldn’t imagine him as anything other than _kind_ and _gentle_.

,,What do you mean?’’ the troll asked slowly, a little confused by the smaller man’s reaction.

,, _I mean_ , Aenamo is supposed to be _a fantasy_ ,’’ he said, blinking a few times. ,,Vaihines is in constant war. With itself, it seems. Aenamo is supposed to be free from _war_ and filled with _equals_.’’

It surprised Nite when Seymore laughed. It didn’t seem like he meant to do so, because he stopped a moment afterwards, looking almost regretfully at the stunned young man.

,,… The world isn’t always as the books tell you, Nite,’’ he said slowly. ,,I have no doubt that Vaihines is very different from Aenamo, and I feel very fortunate to live _here_ , even if they don’t have as much magic down there. But the stories about a perfect, harmonious realm is just that: stories,’’ he said, almost with a pained look in his eyes.

,,… I don’t understand that. That’s the whole reason that people from Vaihines would even _come_ here,’’ he debated. ,,I know no place is _perfect_ , but Aenamo should be the realms of _balance_.’’

,,But it’s not,’’ he simply said. ,,We might have fought our big _wars_ a long time ago, but you can’t _change_ people’s natures. People are bound to be mean or judgmental or _evil_ , you can’t _change_ that, just with magic,’’ he said.

That didn’t make _sense_ to him. Sure, he had known that Seymore’s past was troubled at best, but he hadn’t thought that the whole _world_ hadn’t _fixed_ those trivial problems by now. He had thought that _that_ was the whole reason why Aenamo had separated itself.

His mother rarely talked about Vaihines, but he had never been in doubt that she was, indeed, from the Mainland. She talked about a world, starving for all kind of resources, living in their separate societies, with very few places across the land that wasn’t race divided. A world he had read about, but would never see. He had read many books about Aenamo, and many books on the topic _from_ Vaihines, thus making his world view eschewed at best.

 _Magic couldn’t change that_ , Seymore had said. But Nite knew _better_. Magic _could_ change a world, that seemed more and more broken, even before he had had a chance to study it further.

,,… Can you tell me more about that?’’ he finally said. Seymore had continued eating, and resumed looking confused at the sorcerer. Maybe dreadful, even. ,,About Aenamo? It’s like… a _trade_. I teach you about the laws of magic. You teach me about society,’’ he offered, finishing up with his cookies. He still had his pie waiting sweetly for him.

,,… But you’ll only have my experience,’’ he said. ,,The world can be so much more, than what I have perceived,’’ he tried.

,,Then don’t talk about your trauma. But tell me about bigotry, about flaws in the system and the cruelness of people. I know about species, I know about history. But there’s things I can’t read about. Like how it feels to live in a society, where you don’t belong,’’ he said, getting excited just at the thought. The troll’s browbone furrowed, but at last, he nodded firmly.

,,That’s fair. And you’re right, you should know about that kind of stuff. Did your mother _never_ tell you anything about this world?’’ he asked curiously.

,,Not like _this_. She has explained the many differences from Vaihines, but she hasn’t talked about a shaming world.’’ He was silent for a moment, looking down at his plate. ,,You know, for a long time, I didn’t understand why she… _despised_ me, at times. I thought it was me, so I studied harder. Then I thought it was her upbringing in Vaihines that made her hard, so I tried to mimic her actions more. But nothing makes her happy. And I only ended up fooling myself, it seems,’’ he said, his voice small and his heart suddenly pounding. ,,She didn’t even want me. How am I supposed to accommodate _that?_ ’’

Seymore looked at him for a moment, his eyes sadder than they normally seemed. He then got up, standing behind the young man and hugging him from behind, so simply and truly. Nite hadn’t even noticed he was crying, before the tears fell.

,,You know, maybe _this_ is a reason that I don’t think you should _bother_ with the outside world, right now. The world _inside_ the walls can be cruel, then, what about outside the castle? I don’t want to see you angry or sad or discouraged. I want to see you smile, when you talk about magic and the wonders it can do,’’ Seymore said softly, his strong arms still around him.

He didn’t understand how Seymore could be so gentle and _loving_ towards him, and at the same time stand his ground on not being _lovers_. But when he sat like this, tight in Seymore’s warm embrace, it didn’t really matter, he told himself. He could love him all the same, without pushing the troll away with his strong words.

,,I want to learn,’’ he said softly. He quietly got out of the troll’s grip, standing up and turning around, and before Seymore could move a step backwards, he held his arms around his broad neck, pulling him closer to himself. ,,But first: You promised me something,’’ he said, leaning up towards the troll’s face, tiptoeing to reach the green lips.

Seymore didn’t pull away this time, but he seemed just as startled as the first time he kissed him. Soon he felt the troll’s big hands on his back, around his waist, before he got pulled further towards the taller man. Nite didn’t break the kiss, not even when Seymore lifted him, placing him on the table behind him, to eliminate the height deference, just a tad.

He didn’t remember how long they sat like this. It didn’t matter, either. All they did was kissing, although just as fast and starved as the day before, but with a sweetness to it Nite couldn’t describe.

It felt like flying, he thought. When he felt like this, it didn’t matter with his studies, nor the world outside, everything he could ever want was right _here_. The world was rotten, anyway, but _this_ felt like a magic he had yet to unravel.

As always, Seymore didn’t try to take things further. Nite knew he _undoubtably_ was interested in more, but not in any way that could be deemed as pushy. He gave Nite what he needed, and the sorcerer didn’t want things to get too heated. Right now, he just needed to feel that he was _somewhat_ right, that Seymore did _care_ for him, even if he didn’t touch him or commanded to be touched himself.

,,Hey,’’ he whispered against the green lips, smiling slightly when Seymore unwillingly pulled away. ,,You still want me to teach you about magic?’’ he smirked, still kissing the thin lips, although a lot softer and gentler now.

,,Mm,’’ the troll hummed against the smaller man. He _clearly_ had other things on his mind, but what was he to do? Seymore had proposed the idea _himself_ , after all, and only few things made Nite more excited than magic. At this point, sex _was_ a good contender, but still not enough to win the battle.

,,We can just talk _here_. If I’m not going to _use_ magic, which I _won’t_ , then there’s no need to be in my study chamber,’’ he said between kisses. He didn’t really want to part from the troll, but he hardly believed either of them could concentrate like this.

,,That’s fine. I’m sorry if I got a little carried away,’’ he mumbled, still so very close to the sorcerer’s face.

,,It’s _fine_ , it’s just… _hard_ to separate,’’ Nite mumbled, kissing him one last time before he tried to create space between them. ,,Besides… I’ve _really_ wanted _this_ , _all_ of this for a long time,’’ he said softly. ,,Kissing you, but also teaching you, I mean.’’

Seymore didn’t answer, he just smiled, before he sat beside the smaller man. He awaited the sorcerer’s next move, but Nite barely knew how to start.

,,… What _exactly_ do you want to learn about?’’ he said, facing the troll slightly.

,,I don’t really know. I want to learn more about your… _situation,_ ’’ he hesitated. ,,As for starters, do you know _why_ you can’t be tracked here?’’

,,Well, not _exactly_ ,’’ he shrugged, looking to the ceiling. ,,She mentioned that there’s protection spells on the castle. It’s not _possible_ to _hide_ your property, so it _is_ possible to find the castle, on accident or likewise. But it is _harder_ , unless you’ve been here before, or know of its existence. Pair that up with the fact that we’re on _Mokar,_ a place very few visits in general, then there’s very few that would _find_ me. My best bet is, that the protection spell also blocks out _essences_. But I’m unsure, because I don’t know if you’re _traceable_ ,’’ he tried. This didn’t seem to answer the troll’s questions.

,,What do you mean by _traceable?_ ’’ he asked.

,,It’s simple. The book where everyone’s essence is documented can also be used to find a person. It’s very _hard_ and not really _used_ , and only something the realm leaders have access to,’’ he said. ,,But you wouldn’t be in that book if the castle blocks out essences.’’

,,… Would I be considered _dead_ , then?’’ he asked slowly, but Nite only shook his head.

,,No, a lot of people vanish on and off. And as you’re out of the castle _sometimes_ , you wouldn’t be registered as _deceased_ , I believe.’’ Seymore still looked confused, but nodded as his answer.

,,Where do you _learn_ about this stuff? I wonder if I didn’t know about this because I’m a _troll_ , but I’ve _never_ heard anyone else _ever_ mentioning it, either,’’ he said slowly.

,,Unless you’re some kind of law enforcement, there’s really _no_ reason to know about this. It’s… _pointless_ , basically. I’ve learned about it because I’m interested in history, and it’s not really heavily documented, so I believe it wouldn’t be covered, troll or not,’’ he said, trying to be reassuring. ,,It’s not something any _normal_ person can use, anyway.’’ Seymore nodded, grabbing his cup on the table and continuing with his now cold tea.

,,What does essence cover? Like, is it only my name you can see in that book?’’ he asked. ,,I have a hard time to _grasp_ the concept, I think,’’ he admitted.

,,Essence is like your personal _magic,_ so to speak. The book should possess all sorts of information about a person, just on its essence. Like their age, name and species. Even if you can’t _use_ magic, everyone _possesses_ magic. It’s… a life force, if that makes sense. Magic, in Aenamo, at least, is like _air_ , it’s just… there. The same is your essence. You can’t _get rid_ of it, like you can’t cleanse the air from magic,’’ he explained. ,,Which is _why_ I find it so weird that some species, not only trolls, are _fearful_ of magic. Maybe it makes sense in Vaihines, but here?’’ he asked, shaking his head.

,,It’s not so much magic,’’ he said slowly. ,,It’s _the use_ of magic. I’m not afraid of the earth, so to speak, but I _would_ be afraid of someone manipulating it,’’ he continued, emptying his cup. Then he looked at Nite, an expression hard to read. As if he contemplated continuing, but then he smiled and caressed the top of the younger man’s head. ,,You’re a pretty good example for that, actually. There’s not much you _can’t_ do with your magic, is there?’’ he asked.

,,Well, _no_ ,’’ he said, visibly proud. ,,Maybe I can’t do it all _yet_ , but I have a lot of different kinds of magic,’’ he smiled.

,,Why is that?’’ he asked, filling his cup with tea again.

,,It’s because I’m born with magic, as in using magic, but I also _study_ magic. In theory, everyone can study magic. That doesn’t necessarily mean they can use it, but many can learn to. Many species are born with some kind of magic, and can use that as natural as their physical abilities,’’ he explained.

,,So, what is your natural abilities?’’ he asked. Nite was about to answer, when he stopped again, his face suddenly looking flustered. ,,What is it?’’

,,… I actually don’t _know_ , for sure,’’ he said slowly. ,,My mother isn’t born with magic, but I _know_ that I was. I’ve just always studied magic, so many of my learned abilities, like transforming objects and manifestation, are just as strong as everything else. I think… I think it’s my _power spikes_ , the things I get when I get really angry or otherwise emotional. Mostly angry…’’ he admitted, looking slightly at the troll. ,,You know, the _magic blobs_ I do. Like yesterday. I don’t remember I have ever _learned_ them, but I do remember I have _studied_ them, to make them more stable...’’

,,That would make sense,’’ he said, taking another sip of his tea. ,,I’m… pretty sure that is what made these,’’ he explained, running his fingers down his face, pointing at his scars. Nite looked unsettled a moment, but the troll just smiled. ,,It’s okay. You were very small,’’ he explained. The young man nodded, still looking at the troll.

,,So… How did it _happen?_ I don’t… _remember_ it, I don’t even remember your _face_ from before…’’ he said slowly. Seymore was about to explain, when the sorcerer ran his fingers over the troll’s face, ever so gently. The older man smiled calmly, taking Nite’s hand in his and guided him to his lips, gently kissing the palm of his hands. It surprised Nite that the troll even _dared_ showing that kind of affection, considering how he normally reacted.

,,You were very small. Not to the point where you shouldn’t be able to remember it at all, I believe. Maybe you were… 5 years old? Maybe a little older. I needed to clean something in your room, while your mother took care of something else, but you wouldn’t let me. Then… you got mad,’’ he explained slowly, his eyes flickering slightly. Nite could only _imagine_ what he was thinking right now. ,,I didn’t have time to react. You had never used your magic on me. On others, but not on me. And then… it turned out really _bad_. I fled before your mother even had a chance to take a look at my face,’’ he said, shaking his head to rid himself of the memories.

Nite didn’t say anything, he just looked up at the troll. He felt small. Like he should have done back then, but he could barely imagine that he had felt any sort of guilt. Seymore cleared his throat and put his cup away, before he scooted a little closer to the sorcerer again.

,,It’s okay, Nite. I don’t remember being _mad_ at you, even then. I just… _remembered_ how much I dislike magic,’’ he explained. ,,The cuts were deep, but they didn’t bleed as much as you would think. Some of the cuts didn’t even leave scars, my face just looked really messed up, for a while. My nose broke for good, never healing correctly, the same with my eye, but I didn’t go blind, at least. But my tusks… I kind of wished I had tried to save them,’’ he shrugged.

,,… I wish I hadn’t done that,’’ he said slowly, feeling the troll’s big hand on his shoulder. He wanted to tell him that he was _sorry_ , but the words wouldn’t roll of his tongue, as if they got swallowed every time he tried. ,,You know, it would be _possible_ to give you fake tusks…’’ he tried, fiddling with his shirt, but he knew Seymore wouldn’t want that.

,,Yerh, your mother suggested it too, back then. But then, there’s no point. Tusk grows a little throughout a troll’s life, but I needed to remove one of them completely. And I think the other broke to close to its roots to keep growing. It has been this way for almost ten years now,’’ he shrugged, smiling down at the small man. ,,No one really cares about my tusks, except myself, and maybe other trolls. And in reality, they are mostly there to attract mates. I’ve never been with anyone who thought it was _important_ for me to have big tusks,’’ he smiled.

The silence fell again, none of them really knowing where to go from here. Nite had a lot of questions, that he very much doubted Seymore would answer. The troll interested him, like magic he couldn’t decipher, but if he told him that, Seymore would dismiss him and come up with all these excuses for why he _shouldn’t_ care for him like that.

Nite didn’t care about age. Seymore looked older than him, sure, and maybe he’d been around for longer, but Nite _knew_ that trolls grew differently. _Elves_ where teenagers for _hundreds_ of years, and no one batted an eye if they were with nearly adults. So why would he _care_ that Seymore was just a couple of years older than himself, mentally?

Maybe because of class difference, he thought. Maybe because they were the same sex? But Nite didn’t care about those things. He didn’t care about much, anymore, he thought cynically. Maybe he was just selfish?

,,So, ahm…’’ the troll finally said, jerking Nite back to reality. ,,I’ve got some things to take in, I guess. It feels… a little creepy, to be honest. Like I’m being _watched_ , in some sort of sense. But I still really don’t get why it would be a problem if you suddenly appeared _now_ , if she expects you to do so in a couple of years,’’ he said, looking back at the human.

,,… Well, the travel to Aenamo isn’t easy. And it would be pretty unlikely that I would have made it,’’ he said slowly. ,,If they suddenly see a _15 year old_ pop up, then someone would probably contact me. If I could get _here_ , at _this_ age, I should have way more powerful magic, than I really have,’’ he said regretfully. ,,I guess… I guess that’s why she _trains_ me. So I _convincingly_ can appear in a couple of years!’’ he said, getting angry all of a sudden. Anger was so powerful and all consuming.

He felt Seymore’s heavy hand on his shoulder again, so gentle and reassuring. He didn’t feel _calm_ , but he felt _calmer_ than before. It had surprised him the first time Seymore had done this, as he wasn’t used to _any_ kind of touch. And suddenly the simple gesture had felt overwhelming in many strange ways, and he had to flee. Now it felt familiar, soothing, even though it didn’t erase his emotions.

He leaned against the troll’s big body, feeling the coarse fingers against his scalp, ever so gently. Like he just _knew_ what Nite needed. Soon his anger towards his mother faded, and he suddenly felt drowsy and spend.

,,Thank you for trying to teach me,’’ Seymore said, still stroking his head gently. ,,I _think_ I understand it a little better. But you’ll probably still have to explain it to me, at another point,’’ he chuckled. Nite liked that sound. ,,… If you want, I can teach you a little about the outside world, as I promised. Or we can do that later, if you need a break. You had a pretty rough day yesterday, so I understand if you need some time for yourself.’’

,,I _do_ feel rather drained,’’ he admitted, but didn’t move from the troll’s embrace. He looked curiously up at Seymore, gently touching his face again. ,,But I don’t… really want to be _alone_ , right now. We could go to the library, or something, if you want,’’ he said, mindlessly tracing the scar around Seymore’s lip, making the troll flustered again.

,,I, ahm… Well, I _should_ be working, I didn’t get much done yesterday,’’ he tried, but didn’t pull away from the gentle, cold hands.

,,You _always_ say that,’’ Nite scoffed, rolling his eyes. ,,Weren’t you supposed to follow _my_ orders while my mother is away?’’ Seymore chuckled again, gently guiding the sorcerer’s hand to his mouth, before he lovingly placed another kiss on his palm.

,,Well, are you _ordering_ me to be your company?’’ he teased gently. It looked like he wanted to play this sort of power game, giving Nite all the control in the world, but the sorcerer didn’t want that. He wanted Seymore to be just as irresponsible and young as he knew he really was.

,, _No_ , I don’t want it if you’re not interested yourself,’’ he scoffed. Seymore looked hurt for a moment, surprising the sorcerer a tad. ,,I mean, it’s alright. It was just a suggestion. We can do it later, that is,’’ he tried.

,,You know, it’s not that I don’t _want to_ spend time with you, right? I’m sorry if it made you feel that way,’’ he said gently. ,,You could always hang around while I tend to the castle, but I don’t think you’ll find it very exciting,’’ he smiled.

,,No, then I’d rather study,’’ he admitted, rolling his eyes again. ,,And no… I don’t _always_ know that,’’ he said, looking intensely at the troll. ,,I can read thousands of books, but I don’t think I read people very well. Or maybe you’re just hard to read, who knows,’’ he shrugged, standing up again. He was already leaving the dining area, when he heard Seymore behind him:

,,It’s not you, Nite. It’s just because… I don’t want to complicate things,’’ he said. There was a quiver in his voice that made Nite turn around, looking back at the flustered troll.

,, _Why_ would it be _complicated?_ ’’ he asked. ,,What about _reading in the library_ is complicated to you?’’ he said, gesturing wildly around him. The troll sighed, looking down at his hands with an unease Nite hadn’t expected.

,,You know it’s not _that_ I refer to,’’ he mumbled. ,,… We keep ending up all tangled together,’’ he said slowly. ,,And I _like_ that, please don’t misunderstand that. But I like it _too_ much. It’s _very_ hard to hold back, when we end up like this, and I just… I need space, sometimes, to collect myself, properly,’’ he tried to explain.

,,I don’t _get it_ , Seymore,’’ he whined dramatically. ,,At _one hand_ , you don’t want to be lovers. But then you say _stuff like this_ and you’re being very… You’re being very _gentle_ with me,’’ he said, his building anger fading as he muttered the words. ,,If it’s because you’re afraid of the world _out there_ , then… _Why_ don’t you just _forget_ it? Why do you _need_ to _be_ out there? I’m _right here_ , I want… I want to make you _happy_ , for Am’s sake!’’ he said, almost desperately.

Seymore stood up and walked the short distance between them. He wanted him to grab his shoulders, silently saying that everything would be okay, but he didn’t.

,,Let me ask you a question instead: What will you do, when your mother comes home? Because she _will_ be back at some point, you know that. Do you _really_ think she’ll just be _happy_ that we’re together?’’ he asked slowly. ,,Even if she wouldn’t _mind_ that you’re with a man… do you _really, honestly_ believe that she would be _accepting_ that that man… is me?’’

Nite was about to answer, when he paused. He had barely thought about that, it seemed. He had thought Seymore’s reasonings was mostly internal, but in some way, he was _right_. They both knew very well, that although his mother didn’t _dislike_ Seymore and very much trusted him, she wouldn’t be downright _happy_ to have him as a son-in-law. She would probably not understand it, at best.

,,I don’t _care_ if she’s happy about it,’’ he said instead.

,,You can’t _say_ that,’’ he sighed. ,,Nite. She can’t throw you out. But she _can_ throw _me_ out,’’ he said. He then gently cupped the small man’s cheek, smiling sadly to him. ,,It’s not that I fear I lose my job. But… I have to admit… I don’t really want to _leave_ you here, alone, with her. I can’t take you with me, either. She’ll find you, she made that clear to me. And I… I just don’t think, that _I’m_ _worth it_ , when I could risk ruining your life so much,’’ he said slowly.

,, _Fine!_ ’’ he scoffed, taking the troll’s hand in his own. ,,But why can’t we just be… Just be lovers for a _while,_ then?’’ he asked, desperation clear in his throat.

,,… You don’t want that. Don’t tell me you wouldn’t _try_ to convince me when she came back, why we could still be together,’’ he said slowly. ,,I… I _never_ meant it to _be_ like _this_. And maybe I should have _stopped_ it at some point, but… I don’t really want to stop it… Because I _do_ like spending time with you, in all sorts of ways…’’

,,Then _why_ are you so _afraid_ all the time?’’ he hissed, tightening his grip in the troll. ,,I’m not _fragile!_ ’’ Seymore opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, in search for the right words. He seemed _frustrated_ , but tired. His eyes were sad, but they usually were. _They weren’t sad when they kissed,_ he thought.

,,Did you get scared, the time I yelled at you? The time you healed my hand, and I got angry? You noticed I were angry, right?’’ he asked instead. Nite _did_ remember that.

,,… You _surprised_ me,’’ he said.

,,Yerh? Listen, I’m a very _different_ kind of troll, Nite. And you seem to be very insisting, that I _am_ a troll. Which I am, you’re not wrong. I have the same rash temper and the same rough tendencies when I have sex,’’ he said bluntly, startling the small man. ,,And I don’t want to _surprise_ you, if I suddenly can’t collect myself around you. I’m not _dangerous_ , but I’m prone to react to this overindulgence that I do,’’ he explained. He grabbed both of Nite’s hands in his, gently squeezing them. Nite faintly remembered when this had been their only form for physical contact. ,,I don’t want to hurt you… But I don’t want to get hurt, either… I want to keep things _simple_ and _nice_. I don’t want you to think back at… _all of this_ , and think of your first time experiencing any of this was _scary_ or _too much_.’’

,,But I can _handle_ it,’’ he said sternly, but Seymore just gently shook his head. ,,… _Fine!_ You’re _so_ troublesome,’’ he scoffed, pulling his hands away.

,,… I’m sorry…’’ he said slowly. ,,I hope… it at _some point_ will make sense…’’

Nite didn’t answer, he just left again. This time, Seymore didn’t stop him. He had _hoped_ he would, because Nite was too proud to turn around and continue their conversation.

 _Yes_ , he understood why the troll held back, regarding his mother. But he was sure they _could_ make it work, somehow. Wasn’t that what the books always said? _Love was all that mattered?_ He didn’t believe that Seymore didn’t _love_ him. Regardless what the troll said, had they met under different circumstances, he was _sure_ Seymore wouldn’t had hesitated. Or, _at least_ not as much as he did now…

He felt _frustrated_ when he finally entered his study chamber. Cluttered as always, papers flew everywhere when he walked across the room, making unstable piles of books fall down when he slammed the door shut. Defeated, he sat down on his throne, covering his eyes and tried not to scream.

He didn’t _doubt_ that Seymore cared for him. It was another kind of frustration than when his mother was un-respondent to his wishes. He couldn’t place this feeling, other, than he _assumed_ it was _love_. And more than anything, he just wanted Seymore to outright _say_ he felt the same way, _even_ if he wouldn’t act on it.

But Nite didn’t want to change anything. When he didn’t get so caught up on being _lovers_ , he just wanted them to talk and laugh, kiss and touch. He wanted Seymore to understand _magic_ , a so vital part of his very being, and he wanted to hear _all_ about what the troll would tell him. About life, about society, but mostly, about himself.

Seymore had taught him that he could live _for himself_ , and no one else. But he didn’t want to live _by_ himself. Nite had never had an interest in finding a spouse, but he didn’t want a world, where he couldn’t _be_ with Seymore, some way or another. The thought of his mother _throwing him out_ was more unsettling than he had first assumed.

He sighed, as he couldn’t relax and collect his thoughts around studying. It all seemed so _pointless_. If this was _love_ , he wasn’t even sure he _wanted_ the damn thing, anymore!

In that moment, a weird sound caught his attention. His study chamber was nearly always filled with sounds or smells, due to potions and crystals alike, but he hadn’t heard this sound before. Unwillingly, he stood up and tried to locate the strange whisper.

He didn’t find anything that seemed out of the ordinary. Truth be told, for a newcomer, like Seymore, Nite’s strange way of organizing wouldn’t make much sense, but he _rarely_ had trouble finding what he was looking for. He had tried to tidy up the place when Seymore got around more frequently, with the misunderstanding that the troll was a neat freak, but with time, his books and papers scattered across the room, looking like they did before he had done any tidying at all.

The sound suddenly stopped. It didn’t _alarm_ him, as much as it irritated him. He looked around his shelves, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Nothing on his desk either.

He sat down on the desk, looking around, listening carefully for the sound to return, but nothing happened. Instead, he began to look at the books and papers on his desk, maybe finding some inspiration and motivation to study in whatever was laying around.

When he picked up the black, leathered book, covered in a strange mark, he did briefly remember why he hadn’t touched it in months. Every now and then, he would try something new to open it, but nothing seemed to work. It had been like this since he found it, but he had kept it around due to pure stubbornness.

Books would appear and reappear every now and again. Nite hadn’t thought about any _particular_ reason to why this strange book suddenly was in his shelf. But it frustrated him _endlessly_ that it wouldn’t open. No spell or magic word he had said, had ever made it budge even a _bit_.

He didn’t even know what the book was about. For all he knew, it could be a decoy, with no information or what-so-ever. But much more likely, it withheld some secret form of magic, and with Nite’s drive to learn, he couldn’t help but to feel _excited_ at the thought of powerful magic, he would be able to read about and learn from.

Maybe he wasn’t _ready_ for the book, he thought. Maybe it would open eventually. Maybe it was written in a language he couldn’t speak in yet. This was his sole motivator to learn other languages, so he could potentially unlock secrets like this.

Whatever it was, he threw it away, getting angry again. _Stupid book_ , he thought. But then he heard the weird, whispery sound again. It took him a moment to realize that it came from the _floor_ , from where the book landed. Curiously, he looked down at it again, but it didn’t look different from than when he threw it.

,,What _is_ this stupid thing?’’ he mumbled, picking it up again. There was a slight purple _glow_ on the mark on the cover; a half moon, which normally was just as dim as the book itself. ,,How do I _open_ this?’’ he asked, not expecting an answer, but a light breeze hit him from the cover, just as suddenly as the whisper had come.

Then it hit him; it had been so simple all this time. Why he hadn’t thought about that before, he didn’t know, but he suddenly became _vary_ of the book, gently placing it on the desk before moving back to his throne.

He hadn’t recognized the simple mark, but why _should_ he? There were _thousands_ of marks like this; marks of _black magic_.

He watched the book intensely, as the glow slightly faded, until the mark was dim and silvery again. The whispers stopped, too. He wondered what triggered it, and what _would_ trigger it enough to open?

Did he even _want_ to know that? Where he had been excited a minute ago, was replaced with doubt. _Why_ was this book in his study chamber? Why wouldn’t his mother use protection spells against _black magic,_ of all things?

Nite had never been interested in black magic. He had never asked his mother to teach him this, as he was well aware how dangerous it could be. There were so _many_ types of magic, that he didn’t really _need_ black magic, in the end, he thought.

But as he looked at the book, a strange thought occurred. Everything he _thought_ he knew was wrong. Maybe _this_ could restore some _balance_ , in some sort of way. Black magic was powerful, but could be all consuming. If he was _powerful_ , he could get outside. And if he was powerful _enough_ , it didn’t matter if it tried to consume him. _He would fight it off_.

As he stepped down from his throne, he felt strangely in control, all of a sudden. Like a goal, he hadn’t expected he wanted. Nite had never wanted great things, for other reasons than to continue his mother’s work. Now, he didn’t want that. He wanted something more, something _bigger_.

He picked up the book again. It felt warm. It began to whisper again, in hushed tones without real words. Then he leaned down, whispering, ever so slightly:

,,I want the whole world to change.’’

…

The whispers stopped. A ‘click’ was heard…


	8. 8) Beautiful

He felt a _presence_ , in some sort of way. He somehow _knew_ that he wasn’t alone in the basement chamber, but it felt unfamiliar. In his half-sleeping mind, he knew it was probably just Nite, but he didn’t know why it felt so _different_.

Then he felt the sorcerer’s long hands trace his skin lightly. Normally when Nite would wake him up, he would shake him gently. Never had he felt the light touch, before he had been fully awake.

He was unsure if he really _was_ asleep, and this was all a dream, but it felt _so_ real. He was hesitant, almost _nervous_ to open his eyes, if this _was_ just a dream.

Nite hadn’t visited his room, for over a week now. Seymore hadn’t asked about it, as he just assumed Nite didn’t want to chase anything, that wouldn’t align with his goals. He couldn’t blame him for that, but he did indeed miss the familiar touch.

He missed the lips he had longed for, for so long. All too soon, they had been gone.

He could feel Nite lean over him, gently kissing his neck, his tongue tracing downwards. Seymore couldn’t even keep his groan back if he tried, and heard the light chuckle from the man beside him.

,,Stop pretend sleeping,’’ he whispered softly into his ear. ,,I see you’ve _missed_ me,’’ he continued, his voice strangely seductive. Whatever he had on his mind worked, as Seymore felt the rush of excitement through his body.

He finally opened his eyes, still a little drowsy from being woken up like this, but Nite didn’t seem to mind. The sorcerer was already naked, his sweater dropped on the floor, and he seemed in a particular playful mood. Seymore slowly sat up, trying to stretch his sleepy body.

The troll was about to ask him, if all was okay between them, but he didn’t get the chance. He barely got a chance to react, before he felt the small man on his lap, his lips pressed against the troll’s. Seymore knew they needed to talk. He knew that would be the wisest to do. But he couldn’t deny how nice it felt, to feel the curious, hungry lips against his again.

Like with everything else, Nite had been a natural learner. He matched Seymore’s movements like second nature, and seemed so ingulfed into the kissing, that he barely noticed the world around him. It felt good, but mostly, it felt safe.

He didn’t want to burden Nite with thoughts of how they _shouldn’t_ be together, but it was necessary for him that the sorcerer understood it. He had thought that Nite _had_ taken it to heart, or maybe he had just needed some time to think? Maybe he didn’t mind, in the end, that they couldn’t be lovers, as long as they could make each other _fly,_ like this, just for a while.

Maybe he was lonely, he thought.

Nite’s tongue was gentle, but persistent. He moaned lightly as they kissed, even more when Seymore’s hands crept down his back, firmly pressing them together. He couldn’t help but let his hands run further down, down to the sorcerer’s ass, that he gently squeezed.

,, _Touchy_ , aren’t you?’’ Nite mused against the troll’s lips. ,,Come on, _say it_ , Seymore. _You want me._ You want to be _inside_ me again,’’ he moaned, lightly biting the tip of the troll’s ear.

,, _You’re_ the needy one, aren’t you?’’ he hummed, feeling the human’s hard cock against his stomach. He didn’t wait for an answer, before he kissed Nite again, curling his tongue around the small man’s, grinding their bodies together. ,,… I actually thought you didn’t want this, anymore,’’ he whispered when he finally let go of the pale lips. Nite looked confused for a moment, before he chuckled again.

,,What? _No_ , I don’t _care_ , you’re not getting rid of me, just because you’re being troublesome. And _clearly_ , you don’t want me to go _that_ badly,’’ he said confidently. ,,I’ve been busy with my studies. I have this book I can’t open. It’s very frustrating, and a little distracting. But I have time _now_ ,’’ he smiled, kissing the troll again.

It somehow made sense. Despite everything, Nite still prioritized his studies above everything else, and it did make sense that he had indulged in something interesting, loosing focus on everything else around him. It didn’t change what Seymore had said that day, but on the other hand… If Nite wanted to continue, even after all of _that_ , then _why_ would he stop him? He undeniably had _missed_ this. And he could only hope that Nite had, too.

Seymore had interrupted Nite that day, in what seemed to be him deeply interested in that strange book, he vaguely remembered from the first time he had helped him come in the sorcerer’s study chamber. It was closed back then too, and now he realized _Nite_ wasn’t the one who’d put a lock on it.

But it was all hard to focus on, when he sat here, his tongue tangled together with the sorcerer’s. Nite tucked in his ears, gently bit his lips, but mostly he moaned _so_ needy, that Seymore had a hard time not to rip his _own_ pants off, this time. He had much less clothes than Nite, and couldn’t afford the luxury to be so careless with his things, like that.

,,Come _on_ , put your fingers inside me already,’’ he panted against the thin lips. ,,I took the liberty to clean myself and lube up, so I’m _more_ than ready, if you catch my drift,’’ he mused against the troll’s lips.

He carefully spread Nite’s cheeks, gently rubbing a finger against his tight entrance. He had _indeed_ prepared himself. Seymore felt excited just by the thought of Nite, all lewdly fingering himself to _prepare himself_ for the troll. The older man lightly scraped his teeth against the pale skin on the sorcerer’s neck, as he slowly fingered the small man.

,, _That’s it_ ,’’ he moaned, leaning all of his weight into the troll’s embrace. ,,I _missed_ this,’’ he said softly, in that voice where Seymore wasn’t sure he even noticed himself that he spoke.

,,I’m glad you like it,’’ he smiled, kissing the smaller man gently. ,,You’re very _direct_ today, aren’t you?’’ he chuckled, as he tucked his pants down. Nite seemed to notice the heavy member hitting him, already stiff and leaking at this point. ,, _By the stars, I can’t_ wait _to be inside you again…_ ’’ he growled, one hand around his cock, as the other still fingered the smaller man.

,,You’re too _polite_ if I’m not direct,’’ he protested, spreading himself out more as Seymore inserted yet another finger into him. ,,And you _like_ it. You like when I-I talk dirty, don’t you?’’ he moaned, as the fingers sought out for his prostate. Seymore hummed at the delightful sound, leaning down to kiss the sorcerer’s chest.

,,Yerh,’’ he simply said. ,,I think you’re pretty good at it,’’ he smiled, sucking on the sensitive nipples. His cock _ached_ , thick precum covering his fingers generously, as he began to jack off.

,,Y-you want to _fuck me_ again, d-don’t you?’’ he moaned, trying to catch the blushing troll’s gaze. He nodded slightly, but only looked back at Nite when the sorcerer guided his face to his own. ,, _Look_ at me. _Say_ it. Say you _want_ to _fuck me_ , Seymore,’’ he demanded, his gaze stern, but hazy and horny at the same time.

,,… _Can_ I fuck you?’’ he asked, gently pulling his fingers out and replacing them with his cock, just waiting like their first night together.

,, _No_ , not like that,’’ he mumbled, but still grinded against the stiff member. ,, _Take_ me, don’t _ask_ me. You _know_ I want you,’’ he whispered longingly, pressing down lightly.

,,But I don’t… _like_ to talk during sex, like that. I like to make sure you’re alright, and that what _I’m_ doing is alright,’’ he said slowly. ,,… But I _really_ want to feel you around my cock again,’’ he mumbled against the small man’s neck. ,,I _really_ want to fuck you…’’

,,Was that _so_ hard?’’ he asked amused. He sat down, more confidently than their last time, but still slow and steadily. The sorcerer panted delightfully, making Seymore whine just by looking at him.

When had Nite had the power to make him feel like a helpless schoolboy again? When did he become so confident and flirtatious? Had he _always_ been this way, and did he first notice this _now?_

Regardless of all his questions, he didn’t _mind_ it this way. Seymore had no interest in the whole _innocent_ vibe, if he could have Nite be demanding and somewhat dominant. Being _tossed_ around by the small human, sounded absolutely amazing to him.

,,You’ve done this before, right? I mean, _getting fucked_ , I guess?’’ Nite suddenly asked, after trying to adjust to Seymore’s thickness for a while. He nodded slowly, as he helped guiding the small man up and down. ,,Will I get _loose_ , after a while of this? Will I _only_ be able to get enjoyment out of something as _big_ as you?’’ He tried to sound innocent, but his smirk was all but that.

,,Well, I, ahm…’’ he tried, feeling horny and confused, embarrassed and drowsy all at once.

,,What is it? You haven’t been with anyone your _own_ size?’’ he said challenging. Seymore shook his head vaguely, looking flustered at the small human. ,,Then we’ll just have to _see_ how my ass handles this, right?’’ he mused, as he began to ride the troll a little _harder_ , a little more _precisely_ , and as he did so, so did his confident, powerful demeanor end, and his normally needy moans returned.

 _,,You’re so mean,_ ’’ he growled, closing his eyes and pressing up a little faster. It seemed to surprise Nite, but he didn’t stop him. _,,I longed for you so much, and now you’re just mocking me._ ’’ The sorcerer’s surprised moans were like music to his ears.

,,Is it good? You must really like it if you can’t stop growling,’’ he moaned, leaning his body against the troll’s again. ,,I feel so _full_ , but you’re still only about half-way in,’’ he whined, moaning against the green neck.

,,It’s okay, it’s _really_ good,’’ he moaned, kissing the top of the small man’s head. ,,You’re doing great. Just relax and enjoy yourself,’’ he begged, seeking the sorcerer’s lips again.

Nite’s hands clung to his neck, scraping his back in the process, as they kissed so _deeply_ that they almost forgot to move. It had been so _empty_ to be separated from Nite, and he clung onto the sorcerer as for his dear life, keeping him so close to his body.

,,Just a moment,’’ Seymore muttered, gently lifting the small, confused man as he laid him down on his back. Nite was about to protest and get up, when Seymore got up on his knees instead, quickly tossing his pants aside. ,,I don’t know… if this is easier, but… Like this, you just have to _lay back_ and relax,’’ he said, his voice raspy and his eyes hungry.

,,Oh…’’ he said, spreading his legs to give easier access to the troll. He didn’t seem dissatisfied when Seymore _slowly_ began to push inside again. Nite grabbed his own legs, holding them up into the air and moaned, as Seymore felt himself slip deeper and deeper into the small man underneath him. ,,Can you… _lift_ me, a little? Like… _grab me_ , and-, ah-!’’ he began, but stopped when Seymore did _just_ that.

Nite was slender and light, and it was no problem for the troll to grab around his tiny body, to press him against his own, big frame. It felt _amazing_ , and he could _feel_ how he slowly got further and further inside, but mostly, he liked how wildly Nite moaned again, covering his face and chanting amazingly as he kept up the pace.

He tried to stay focused on Nite, afraid to push too hard in the process. But it became harder as the sorcerer shivered and wiggled around underneath him, grabbing his arms and almost _screaming_ at this point, but he was in no doubt that Nite liked it, because his dick was rock hard and grinded desperately against the air. He was about to grab around him, to jack him off, when Nite stopped him.

 _,,No, don’t!_ ’’ he begged, looking pleadingly up at the troll. It startled Seymore and he stopped in the motion, but Nite kept grinding against him. ,,I _don’t_ want to come first, this time,’’ he explained. ,,I… I want to feel you _filling_ me up, and _then_ I… A-ah!’’ he began, as Seymore began to move again, a little faster this time around.

,,But I _like_ when you come. I like how sensitive you are,’’ he panted, his hands still holding the young man in place, but his thumbs gently stroking the area around his dick. There were fine, black hairs he hadn’t really paid much attention to before. ,,I really _wish_ I could make you come _just_ like this,’’ he whispered, looking down at the flustered man.

Painfully slowly, Nite let his hands run up and down his body. Seymore observed him with great interest, as the young man began to touch himself, slowly at first. He had never _seen_ how Nite touched himself when he thought about it, but he felt his body jolt at the sight.

He used both hands, much like Seymore did himself. He wondered if he had always done that, or if he simply mimicked the way the troll touched himself and the sorcerer. Nite whimpered and jerked upwards, but nothing more than clear, thick precum came out.

,, _Stars_ , that’s hot,’’ Seymore mumbled, not slowing down his own motions, and never taking his eyes away from the man underneath him. Nite kept jerking off, not worrying about how loudly he moaned, and not trying to hide his face. His eyes were closed tightly, and he seemed completely lost in pleasure.

,,… _come_ …’’ he mumbled underneath his breath.

,,What?’’ he asked. Nite kept mumbling, whining ever so slightly, but it was hard to understand him. His motions were static, as he jerked himself a little, stopped for a moment and kept it up in uneven patterns.

,,… _Fuck_ , Seymore, I’m _coming…!_ ’’ he howled, clenching hard around the troll as he finally came all over his hand and stomach. He came a lot more than usual, but if he hadn’t come since they last had been together, Seymore couldn’t blame him.

He kept fucking the small man, just as fast as before. Nite shuddered and moaned, pushed himself against the troll and kept jerking himself, until every, last drop was out of him. When his arms fell flat down on his body, Seymore slowed down, just to make sure he was alright.

,,Don’t _stop_ , idiot, just come already! I _still_ want you t-to fill me up,’’ he groaned, still with a tired, but playful smile on his lips. Seymore didn’t need to ask _were_ to come, before he with a few last, hard pushes let himself come inside of the sorcerer. He couldn’t keep back his own groans, there seemed so needy that they made the sorcerer whimper again, as he felt his ass being filled. He didn’t seem as overwhelmed as last time, but looked very satisfied when Seymore _slowly_ pulled his softening cock out of him.

He finally released the small man from his grip, gently placing him back on the mattress that they both dripped on. Nite was still whimpering and breathing heavily, covered in his own cum and his cheeks bright red, when Seymore leaned down, gently kissing his lips again.

Nite weakly put his arms around the troll’s broad shoulders, not letting him go when he tried to pull away. Seymore chuckled and reached underneath the small man, picking him up into his lap again, still attached to his lips.

Just as their last time, Nite only wanted to sit close and kiss, and had no interest in leaving the warm embrace to clean up. Seymore wasn’t as flustered or scared this time. He didn’t have the nagging feeling, that he had _ruined_ something for Nite. Maybe it was due to the sorcerer’s much more direct way of seducing him today, or maybe he had just _missed_ him too much, he couldn’t tell.

When they sat like this, Seymore did indeed think it would be easier to just give in, hold the sorcerer tightly and tell him that they _could_ just be lovers. But he was also painfully aware that if he did so, it would hurt Nite so much more when his mother came back. He didn’t want to sneak around to be with his _boyfriend_ , but he didn’t dare to be open with their relation, either, fearing what Willa could do, should she not accept the nature of their relation.

His lips where sweet and gentle now. He didn’t bite, and as they continued their long, slow kisses, both of their breaths steadied. Seymore felt cold and clam, but he had also longed for the sorcerer’s touch for so long, that he hardly could get himself to break it off.

With Nite, he felt pretty light and free. He didn’t feel ugly, as he often did, compared to Ruvaen, and he didn’t feel like he needed to be mature or _decent_ , as he mostly had been since he left his home. Just as Seymore once had told Nite, that he just had to live for himself, Seymore felt _he_ too could just be himself around the sorcerer.

,,Hey,’’ the troll whispered against the small man’s lips. He hummed as an answer, but otherwise didn’t stop. ,,We need to wash up. We can kiss in the showers, if you want to, but-,’’ he tried, but Nite kissed him again to shut him up.

,,Why are you suddenly _so persistent_ with washing up afterwards?’’ he muttered against the green lips. ,,Were you just lazy before? We always just _wiped it off_ , if there were any mess.’’

,,… I sweat a lot more during sex, _especially_ like this, but also… It can hurt the balance in your… uhm, your butt? If you don’t clean yourself, I mean,’’ he tried, gently reaching around the small man as he stood up himself, making Nite shriek slightly as he got lifted up anew.

,,… _Fine!_ Do as you wish,’’ he declared, reaching his long hands around the troll’s shoulders. Seymore was unsure, but it almost looked like Nite _enjoyed_ being carried around. As they walked, he gently kissed him on his forehead, smiling against the human’s thin lips when the sorcerer guided their faces together again. He was on his way to the washing room, when Nite stopped him, gesturing to his own chamber instead.

,,What? I thought we were going to wash up,’’ he said.

,,You know that _I_ have a bathroom, right? I don’t want to _sit on the floor_ and make out in the _washroom_. If that’s your plan, we’re using the bathtub,’’ he said, rolling his eyes.

Seymore still felt flustered every time he stepped into the sorcerer’s private chambers. He gently sat down the small man, so Nite could lead the way himself. It wasn’t like he didn’t know where the bathroom was, but this was Nite’s room. Seymore hadn’t seen the bathroom before, as far as he could remember.

The small man opened the door and revealed the almost spotless room. It surprised Seymore at first, before he noticed small bubbles flying around. Wherever they landed, the bathroom would sparkle up. It was pretty smart, and he was almost curious about it, before he felt the bubbles on his skin, tingling and making him aware that they were, indeed, magic.

,,Oh, let me fix this,’’ Nite said, and with a snap of his fingers the bubbles disappeared, making the floor wet and slippery.

,,How… No, _why_ do you have magic, self-cleaning bubbles?’’ he asked, gently walking closer to the tub, that Nite began to fill up with water. He poured a slightly golden liquid into the tub, making it smell sweetly of oranges.

,,Well _I don’t want you in here_. Or, that’s what I used to tell myself. If you haven’t noticed, I’m not the _neatest_ person,’’ he shrugged, quickly washing himself of before he stepped into the hot water. ,,But I don’t want to _clean,_ either. The bubbles are rather easy to make, I know my mother have them different places around the castle,’’ he said, observing as Seymore cleaned himself too. The water splashed everywhere when the troll stepped into the tub, making the sorcerer chuckle slightly.

,,Well, I have never seen them before,’’ he said slowly, feeling his body relax in the hot water. He couldn’t remember when was the last time he had bathed like this.

,,That’s because you need to reactivate the magic every once in a while. It can be hard to keep track of such things in a whole castle. Not as much for me, when it’s just the bathroom,’’ he shrugged. He sat across from the troll, eyeing him curiously as Seymore relaxed his whole body into the water, only his head sticking up. He chuckled at the sight, mimicking his behavior. ,,See? Isn’t this better than the washroom?’’ he said. The tub was large, and Seymore enjoyed every second of it.

,, _Yes_ , it’s _very_ nice,’’ he sighed happily. His ears flopped down, lazily laying in the top layer of the water.

,,Yerh, I guess it’s pretty good. I don’t like taking long baths. But I guess it’s not as _boring_ now, as when I do it alone,’’ he said, moving a little closer to the troll. Seymore peaked up from the water, gently holding around the smaller man as he sought to be in the troll’s embrace again.

,,Really? I don’t understand that. But then again, I haven’t really been used to having the opportunity to take long, relaxing baths like this on the regular,’’ he smiled, calmly rubbing his nose against Nite’s. He barely thought about it. The warm, bubbly water just made him happy and relaxed. Nite blushed and looked joyfully up at the older man, before he leaned in, kissing him gently.

It was pretty easy to tell what mood Nite was in, when they were kissing, he thought. Like the morning after they had had sex the first time. Seymore had basically panicked when he had woken up, so far past his normal routine, but even _more_ when he noticed that Nite studied him. He looked so _happy_ , and the guilt built up every time he saw that glimpse in his eyes.

But everything seemed a little easier when they kissed. When Nite was horny, his kisses were as well; hungry, _starved for touch_ , mimicking how he himself had felt. But now, just like that morning, they were gentle and lovingly, and even though Seymore felt his body react and yearn for more, he liked to just sit and kiss and hold the smaller man. Nite had seemed so _sincere_ and fragile that morning, and all his feelings flooded back to him.

He couldn’t deny that even though he had missed being touched by the sorcerer, he had mostly thought about their kisses. He hadn’t _dared_ to ask about why Nite stopped waking him up at night, afraid to hear the words he knew was necessary. But now the small man was on top of him again, and all that seemed so far away.

,,Really?’’ Nite suddenly chuckled against the troll’s lips. When Seymore just looked confused up at him, Nite leaned in to whisper into his ear: ,,I can _feel_ you’re getting excited. We _just_ did it. Have you missed me _that_ much?’’ he said, his voice seductive as ever. Seymore groaned unwillingly and looked ashamed at the smaller man.

,,It’s because _this_ is very endearing,’’ he tried, seeking for the sorcerer’s lips again. ,,I’m surprised _you’re_ not in greater need, actually. You haven’t come, since… _last time_ , have you?’’ he asked quietly.

,,Well, _no._ But, you have?’’ he asked, suddenly confused, it seemed.

,,… I have,’’ he admitted.

,,Oh…’’ His eyes suddenly became sad, for some reason. Seymore couldn’t figure out why, so he gently caressed his face, until the human looked at him again.

,,I _have_ missed this, Nite. I’ve missed not being afraid that I’ve hurt you. I’ve missed laughing with you. I’ve missed you talking all excited about magic, too,’’ he smiled, kissing the sorcerer’s forehead.

,,… Yes, but you also missed… _this_ , right?’’ he said, gently tracing the troll’s heavy body with his wet hand. ,,You’re… very _physical_ , right? _Not that I mind_ , but you _need_ this, don’t you? And I wasn’t there, too…’’ he began, but Seymore cut him off, kissing him quickly.

,, _No_ ,’’ he said firmly, seemingly startling the human. ,,I don’t _need_ you to touch me. It’s very nice, and I get easily excited, yes. But it’s not your _responsibility_ if I come or not,’’ he said gently. ,,I didn’t masturbate because you didn’t fulfill some kind of duties you believe you have. I… I just did it, because it’s still _nice_ to come, even if it’s by myself,’’ he said, trying to avoid eye contact.

,,Yes, but… I _want_ to do those kinds of things for you. You never ask when you want something, and never tell me what you _want_ , in general, I just… I don’t know… It’s _frustrating_ ,’’ he admitted, crossing his arms and splashing the water at the same time.

,,That’s because I don’t _expect_ you to do _anything_ you don’t want to,’’ he said, gently caressing the smaller man’s arm. ,,If you want to fool around, that’s okay. If you just want to cuddle and kiss, that’s fine too, I like that as well. And if you just want to burry yourself in your studies, that’s alright, Nite,’’ he smiled. Nite rolled his eyes, before a small smile crept up on his lips.

,,You don’t get it. But… I guess that’s fine,’’ he said, curling their fingers together underneath the water. ,,You like kissing?’’ he asked, gently pressing their lips together. Seymore hummed against the small man, nodding slightly. ,,Then why wouldn’t you kiss me back then? You know, back in the library?’’ he asked softly.

Seymore wasn’t about to elaborate on his fears and feelings for the sorcerer now, but it was a hard situation to get out of. Nite wouldn’t budge without an answer, that was clear to see, as his mahogany eyes looked intensely up at him.

,,… As said, it’s very personal. I haven’t… I haven’t _kissed_ anyone since… Well, since my former lover…’’ he said, slowly. While he had fooled around with maids in the past, he hadn’t kissed any of them. It looked like Nite suddenly understood the problem.

,, _Oh_ ,’’ he said, looking away slightly. He was silent for a moment, before he leaned in again, but instead of kissing the troll, he hugged him. He rarely did that. He cuddled against Seymore, and he liked to be very _up and personal_ , but he rarely just _hugged_ him.

The water cooled off quicker than he liked. He wanted to be here for a while, and forget the pasts troubles. He didn’t want to be _mature_ or _reasonable_ , for a change.

,,What are you studying now?’’ Seymore asked, still holding the man close in his arms. Nite’s eyes would usually sparkle at the question, but to his surprise, he seemed uncertain instead. The troll jumped slightly, when the sorcerer’s eyes suddenly had a flash of red in them. He remembered that he had seen that before, or, he thought he had, at least. It vanished just as quickly as last time, and made him unsure if he was just really tired.

,,Well, it’s… it’s hard to explain. I have this _book_ , and it’s… It’s _important_ to my research, but… I can’t figure out how to open it,’’ he muttered, looking down. ,,What I’m studying?’’ he repeated, in his particular soft voice. ,,… Something _very different_. Something for… _myself_ , first and foremost. But something that _might_ just… change the world,’’ he said, his gaze intense and dreaming.

Nite normally didn’t speak of his studies like this. He could be enthusiastic, but he was rarely this _vague_. It didn’t concern Seymore that much, but he did notice that the small man acted differently. He guessed it made sense, if his interests had evolved from being able to carry on his mother’s work, and into making something _for himself_.

,,Don’t worry about it,’’ he said, leaning up to kiss the troll again. While Seymore really _wanted_ to know more, he didn’t want to get on the sorcerer’s nerves again, with trivial stuff like his concerns. But he had _never_ had the impression that Nite didn’t _want_ to talk about magic or his studies, quite on the contrary, only that he didn’t do it as often, because he knew about Seymore’s views on that.

It was actually kind of sweet, he thought. Nite had never asked Seymore if it made him uncomfortable, he just stopped when they began living closer together. Even though the young man was dead set on that he did not understand how other people felt, he had figured it out for himself. But now Seymore wanted to show him that it was _more than okay_ to be open and enthusiastic. He _wanted_ to hear Nite talk about his passion.

Even if Seymore let them sit in the cooling water for longer than he had intended, Nite began to freeze at some point. They got up, dried themselves off and as Nite emptied out the water, the troll peaked into the sorcerer’s bedroom. He wondered if Nite would come back to his chamber with him, or he would stay in his own bed tonight. He wouldn’t _dare_ to ask, too caught up in his unspoken promise to himself, that while he _did_ indulge in their relation, he wouldn’t make it any _easier_ for Nite to creep closer to his heart than he already was.

,,What are you looking at?’’ Nite said, gently placing his arms around the troll’s waist, while his head rested on his green back.

,,… Nothing. I’m just looking into your room. It’s rare that I’m in here. Even if I do your laundry, you still prefer me to put it outside your room,’’ he said. Nite stepped around the troll, took his hands and guided him into his bedroom. Seymore felt awkward and naked. And tired, mostly.

,,Well, I don’t do much in _decorating_ ,’’ he shrugged, looking around. Besides the sorcerer’s enormous closet and bed, the only thing here was his desk, where Seymore usually left Nite his breakfast, even before they started sleeping together. But he could do that by just opening the door ever so slightly, and usually didn’t look much around when he did so.

,,It’s funny,’’ the troll said, looking around the bare stone walls. ,,I always thought I knew _every room_ in this damn castle, but I’ve barely known this part of the castle before your mother put me here,’’ he chuckled. Nite smiled proudly, before he guided the troll onto the bed, but Seymore hesitated.

,,What?’’ he sighed, tucking in the troll’s arm. ,, _Come on_ , Seymore, there’s no _reason_ to go into the basement chamber _now_. Just sleep here tonight,’’ he said, moving around to make room for the troll, in the more than spacious bed.

,,… But it’s just… a little per-,’’ he said, but Nite cut him off.

,, _Don’t_ say it’s ‘too personal’! It’s just a _bed_ , for Am’s sake!’’ he said, visibly tired.

,,Yes, but… I’m still… It doesn’t feel right,’’ he said slowly. ,,I know… it seems _ridiculous_ , but I’m still your _servant_. It feels… _wrong_ to sleep in my Master’s bed…’’ he tried, but Nite only scoffed.

,,You have such _weird_ views about _right_ and _wrong_ , Seymore,’’ he pouted, falling onto his back in the big, soft bed. He then proceeded to get up unto his elbows, smiling mischievously to the older man. ,,Can’t I _order_ you to sleep with me?’’ he said playfully.

With a tired smile, Seymore climbed into the big, soft bed. Just like the bathtub, Seymore had almost forgotten how _nice_ and warm a real bed could feel like. He sunk into pillows and blankets, feeling his tired, sore body loosen up.

,,See? It’s nice, right?’’ Nite said with a cocky smile. Seymore just laid sprawled across the bed for a moment, making the sorcerer even more giddy. ,,You know, there’s nothing wrong with you being in my room. Or in my bed, for that matter. Although I don’t _mind_ sleeping in your chamber and such, you have to remember… I actually do _want_ to share my comforts with you,’’ he said quietly, gently tucking in the troll to get him placed correctly in the bed.

,,… You don’t think it’s weird, at all?’’ he asked quietly, as he laid down beside the yawning human. ,,I mean… A couple of months ago, you barely noticed my existence. Don’t misunderstand me, I wasn’t better, either. For you, I was just a troll servant. And… Maybe it’s just me. I have a hard time getting out of the mindset, that you’re my Master, even if you don’t want me to call you _sir_. I still slip up in my mind, from time to time,’’ he admitted. Nite cuddled against him, seemingly too tired to care about the troll’s concerns.

,,I don’t know much about life. But you’re making it _very complicated_ , when it could be very _easy_ , right now,’’ he said, still yawning. ,,This is _nice_. And that’s okay, right? No one is going to hurt you, right now, Seymore. Not as long as we’re _here_ ,’’ he mumbled, cuddling the troll closer underneath the blankets.

,,… Maybe you’re right,’’ he mumbled, leaning against the pillows behind him. Nite’s bed was big and soft, filled with pillows and thick blankets. It was _baffling_ that he would even _consider_ to sleep in the basement chamber, when this was how he usually had slept.

It made him so much more aware, that even if Nite was young, he was very sincere and serious in his pursuing of the troll. He had never known Nite for sharing or caring that much, but it was clear that he did care about Seymore. That he wanted to be close to him. That he almost _needed_ to be close to him.

Seymore would always fear that Nite’s infatuation with him was due to the simple fact, that he hadn’t any other experiences. That he clutched to the only half-good thing in his life, and would do almost _anything_ not to let go of it. He didn’t believe that Nite disliked or was in pain with the things they did, but he wasn’t always sure that the sorcerer was as horny and hormone filled as he had first assumed. Sometimes, he probably just wanted to be touched a little, held closely, and he had probably wanted to just kiss for weeks or _months_ , at this point, just as he himself has fantasized about.

And beside all of his other worries, with the Madam and his own past, he feared that Nite would leave him, when he finally was able to get outside. Out there, there would be a whole world for him to explore, and he would probably find someone smarter, someone more interesting and someone with the same passions as his own. And when that day would come, Seymore would feel like he was holding him back. It would hurt less, had Nite never been his from the start, he believed.

When he looked down again, the small man in his arms were fast asleep. He himself felt tired and relaxed, his body sinking further into the softness of the bed. He didn’t have to figure it all out, he thought…

He woke up the next day, confused about his surroundings. When he looked to his side, and Nite still laid in his arms, lightly snoring and sleeping soundly, everything came back to him. With a soft smile, he untangled himself, daringly kissed the small man on his cheek, and stepped out of bed, before he started his day.

Times were strange, for a while. While most days were like they had been for months, with nightly visits from the sorcerer, Seymore found that the young man took long, strange breaks for days at a time, where he would almost exclusively be in his study chamber. He would rarely talk about it when he came out of his chamber, and Seymore didn’t dare to ask too much about it.

He had this strange feeling. Like Nite was doing something he wasn’t _supposed_ to. But he tried to convince himself, that it was just because the whole magic thing made him uneasy. Still, Nite _had_ changed. He dived into his studies differently than when he first began to live in the run-down part of the castle.

But when Nite wasn’t locking himself into his room, he followed Seymore around when he did his daily tasks, talking about laws of magic, and asking about the world outside. Seymore had thought he would miss his alone time, but he found out that he missed the sorcerer’s never ending talking when he would lock himself up in his room, more than being annoyed when Nite would follow him around.

When Seymore cleaned the bathrooms, Nite would sneak his bubbles around, and as days and weeks passed, he found out that he didn’t really mind them that much. It made the sorcerer ecstatic every time the troll would smile as the bubbles floated around, making it easier to maintain areas like bathrooms, washrooms, and even the main kitchen.

Nite rarely helped him otherwise, but he didn’t need to, either. While Seymore didn’t really have an interest in magic, Nite was so enthusiastic when he talked, that he remembered a lot about what he told him. He had always prided himself with being intelligent for a troll, but Seymore found out that Nite was much more book smart than he had originally credited him for. The sorcerer didn’t make him feel stupid, even if that was the case. If anything, he felt curious, for the first time in a while.

Every once in a while, Nite would ask questions that hadn’t anything to do with trolls or society in general. Sometimes he would ask about Seymore’s past, his travels and his family, and the troll would only give him vague answers. He didn’t dare to ask about Seymore’s past lover, as he had probably finally caught up with the reality, that Seymore wouldn’t answer his questions.

Soon, what had started as a late summer adventure, and had transcended into the gloomy fall, became winter. Their food supplies would still come every other week, but not as lavish as it had been. That was the downside with living so far away from everything.

,,It’s almost Winter Solstice,’’ Nite said one day. He had finally come out of his study chamber, after burying himself in his studies for yet another week. Seymore hoped that meant he would spend the night with him. ,,Do troll’s celebrate that?’’ he asked.

,,Yerh, they do. But not like the believers of Am,’’ he said as he mopped the floor.

,,… I don’t believe in Am,’’ he shrugged, making the troll peak up. He had never heard Nite denounce the God he otherwise seemed to name. ,,My _mother_ believes in that stuff, I think,’’ he said vaguely.

,,… Very well. But yes, we celebrate the day. The foods are sparse in winter, and there’s not as many fresh, raw vegetables to get, that’s why we make stews and other comfort food around that time of year, but _especially_ around Winter Solstice,’’ he said, smiling fondly at the memories of him and his sister baking.

,,That sounds nice,’’ Nite said, a sad smile as he sat down on a vitrine in the hallway. ,,… My mother would always declare the day sacred, and that we shouldn’t study on that day. So, I didn’t really interact much with her, actually, that time of year. Only at dinner,’’ he said. ,,… I don’t know how others celebrate the day. Not even the ones who believe in Am, as it’s mostly a Northern believe.’’

,,I believe most celebrates with gifts and feasts,’’ he said. ,,But, well, how do you want to celebrate it this year?’’ the troll asked, putting the mop away and leaning against the vitrine the small man sat on.

,,… I don’t… really want anything in particular, I think. I don’t like making a big deal about things,’’ he shrugged.

,,You put a lot of effort into my birthday,’’ Seymore reminded him about, putting his arm behind the sorcerer, but not daring to put it around him. ,,I want to do nice things for you, too. I can bake, if you want to. Or… we could do it together, if you would like that. I used to do that with my sister,’’ he smiled.

,,That actually sounds pretty nice,’’ he admitted. ,,You rarely talk about your family. It’s always your sister,’’ he noted. Seymore nodded, and his smile became pained.

,,There were only a couple of years between us. I was the youngest. My parents didn’t want to have more kids, after me. I’m pretty sure my dad suspected my mom had cheated, probably with a goblin or such. They are much smaller than trolls,’’ he explained. Nite nodded, leaning his body slightly against the older man’s.

,,Are they still together? Your parents, I mean. I don’t know if trolls… _divorce_ , each other, as to speak, but…’’ he tried.

Seymore hadn’t thought about his father’s death much in the last couple of months. He could feel his heart race and his throat tighten, but he didn’t want to alarm Nite.

,,Trolls don’t really get married. We form pairs, and mostly get children within these pairs,’’ he explained. ,,Trolls aren’t really… monogamous, but they can be pretty cut and dry with interracial couples,’’ he shrugged. ,,But… no. My parents aren’t together anymore. My dad passed away… not that long ago. I found out the day that your mother left for her trip,’’ he said, staring blankly in front of him.

Nite didn’t answer, and Seymore wouldn’t meet his gaze. He looked down on his folded hands, before the sorcerer shakenly reached out to place his hands on the troll’s. He gave it a gently squeeze, but didn’t let go.

,,Why… weren’t you at the funeral?’’ he asked.

,,… My mother didn’t want me there. And I hadn’t seen the man in _years_. _Almost 20 years_ ,’’ he whispered, hoping his voice wouldn’t break. ,,I’ve never _expected_ to repair the relationship with my parents, but now? It’s clear that I simply _can’t_ ,’’ he said, feeling the tears burn behind his eyes.

Nite didn’t say anything. He just kept holding the troll’s hand for a while. He guessed that the sorcerer wondered about his relation with his own mother, and if they would end up the same way. Maybe he just tried to figure out what to say? In any case, it somewhat helped him, that they just sat in silence, as the troll’s heavy breathing steadied and he calmed his nerves.

,,What would you have said to him? If you could say one last thing to him, I mean,’’ Nite asked. Seymore thought about it for a minute, before squeezing back on Nite’s hand.

,,… Nothing. Part of me wants to apologize, for everything. About how _weird_ and different I am, about who I love… who I _loved_ ,’’ he corrected himself, eyeing Nite fleetingly. ,,Part of me wants to _yell_ and ask how they so easily could disown their own child. How they left me with no other choice, than to flee to some place, far away from everything, making me even _more_ lonely and different, not only from troll’s, but society in general…’’ he said, feeling his eyes burn again. He didn’t want to cry. There was no reason to shed tears for this man, he thought.

,,… But you’re still just a person, Seymore. You’re still young and confused, in some way, right? It’s okay to grieve. If not for the person itself… then just for the whole situation,’’ he said softly.

It seemed to startle Nite when the first tear dropped. He hadn’t seen Seymore cry before, he reminded himself. Maybe he had never seen _anybody_ cry, besides himself. But Seymore couldn’t stop, and the tears just calmly dripped down his cheeks and wetted his shirt. He didn’t sniffle, he just silently let the tears flow, as Nite watched him do so. It felt like a long time since he had cried, and even if Nite seemed uncertain about what to do, he knew it was alright. He felt strangely safe.

The sorcerer cuddled against his heavy body again, hugging him as much as was possible while they still sat on the vitrine. His thin arms felt protective around him, and Seymore let his own arms around the small man.

 _He needed this_ , he thought. Someone that made him feel good and safe. Someone as broken and confused as himself. But he didn’t know if he _deserved_ it.

,,… Baking together at Winter Solstice sounds nice,’’ Nite said again. The sudden topic change made Seymore chuckle, as the tears finally stopped flowing. ,,What?’’ the sorcerer giggled, watching the troll dry off his eyes.

Then Seymore leaned down, and with no hesitation, he reached for the young man’s lips. It seemed to startle both of them, and he quickly stopped to pull away, as it seemed like Nite didn’t want this. But as soon as Seymore was about to apologize, Nite moved to sit on top of his lap, making the vitrine shake warningly, kissing the troll so dearly that it almost felt suffocating.

It felt healing. He felt _wanted_. He gently wrapped his arms around the sorcerer’s small frame, pulling him closer to his body as he spread his lips, his playful tongue asking for entrance. Nite panted slightly against the troll’s parted lips, when he pulled away for air.

,,I shouldn’t have done that. I should have asked,’’ Seymore said slowly, but Nite shook his head, grabbing around the troll’s face, holding him steady as he smiled, his deep eyes twinkling beautifully.

,,Silly troll,’’ he said, so gently it almost hurt. ,,You don’t _have_ to ask permission. Not with me. Not _ever_ ,’’ he whispered, kissing him again. He knew Nite meant it, even if the young man hardly understood what he was saying. It didn’t matter, when they were like this.

The walls of isolation he had build for years cracked down. The waves of pain he had hidden flooded over and poured out. And the rest of his sanity left with that, he thought, as he stepped down from the vitrine, still with Nite in his arms, and the sorcerer’s light chuckles as he walked them down the hallway.

,,Where are we going?’’ Nite asked, looking around the hallways. It was clear that Nite mostly was in his own part of the castle, and other than that, knew very few of the many rooms the castle held, but he couldn’t really blame him for that.

,,I was afraid to break the vitrine,’’ he explained, kissing the small man again while he walked. ,,There’s a spare room not that far from here. Not touched in years, mind you, but I’ve cleaned it every once in a while,’’ he said, waiting for Nite to open the door they stood in front of.

Unlike both Nite and his mother’s private bedrooms, that both were big and spacious, this room was much smaller. Still bigger than Seymore’s own chamber, but not with as much floor space as Nite’s room, and not as greatly decorated as the Madam’s room was.

He placed the small man on the bed, leaning in over him as he fell onto his back, kissing him intensely again. Nite whimpered delightfully against his lips, as the troll pressed his body ever so slightly against his smaller frame. He made sure not to squash him or deprive him from air, but he liked to rub their clothed bodies together, to hear more of those delicious sounds from the man underneath him.

His cock begged to be freed from the fabric, but unlike his daringly kiss, he still didn’t want to initiate anything sexual. It wasn’t his place, he thought. If Nite wanted anything, he _knew_ he would say so. And if he didn’t, kissing was more than enough for him as well.

,,I can _feel_ that,’’ Nite noted, grinding against the troll’s bigger body. ,,You’re not as brave, as when you kissed me, I see,’’ he smirked, tugging the troll closer to his body, kissing his exposed neck. ,,I know you want this. Why won’t you just _ask_ me, you silly troll?’’ he wondered, lightly scraping the skin with his teeth, as a slight warning or a promise.

,,You know why…’’ he panted, dry humping the small man a little more intensely.

,,You’re annoying. Take my clothes off,’’ he said instead, holding up his arms to make it easier for the troll to undress him from the big sweater. He had missed the pale skin, and didn’t hesitate to dive down to kiss the young man’s chest. He felt the small, black hairs tickle him as he did so.

Seymore was hairless himself, mostly due to his age. It wasn’t uncommon for trolls to lose their hair as they became adults, but he had lost most of his body hair before that. He sometimes still missed the hair on his head, as it reminded him of his young teen troll years, where he, at least, was somewhat passable for something that could resemble attractiveness.

He knew Nite shaved his head, but he didn’t know about his body. He rarely noticed that he had pubes or chest hairs, but he guessed it had been like the hair on his head; that it grew slow and spotty, and therefore just wasn’t that long or noticeable, even if his hairs were black.

The troll kissed further downwards, down to his stomach before he unbuckled the belt. Nite already felt eager in his hands, slightly panting as he pulled his pants down.

His cock twitched in the dusk room, Seymore could feel it against his lips. He gently licked the tip, already covered in precum, as he heard the raspy moans from the younger man.

,, _Yes_ ,’’ he hissed when the troll wrapped his lips around him. The look in the amber eyes were almost _hungry_ , but he didn’t know if Nite could see him through the dark. He just consumed every lustful moan and every shiver he gave, as Nite grinded against the troll’s open mouth.

Often times, they still just used their hands and mouths. While Seymore liked to fuck, and while he enjoyed every time he was allowed to come inside the smaller man, he also enjoyed Nite sucking him off or making the sorcerer come like this.

As far as he knew, Nite still couldn’t come by himself. It felt strangely addicting that _he_ was the sole provider for Nite like that, even if he knew he still touched himself. Seymore wasn’t jalouse, more curious than anything, and he would like to observe the younger man as he touched himself.

He liked to be on his knees, Nite looking down at him, quietly praising him and audibly enjoying himself. He was rarely in doubt if Nite was okay with things like these, because he was so sensitive and so loud at the same time, and it made it tingle delightfully in the troll.

,,By Am, I forgot how _good_ you are at this,’’ Nite moaned, grabbing the back of the troll’s head and fucking his mouth a little faster. ,,T-this is alright, right? Just… tap my leg, if I’m too rough,’’ he moaned. Instead, Seymore grabbed around the small man’s hips, to get him even closer to his mouth.

He was _so hard_ , just by sucking off the sorcerer. He couldn’t help but touch himself slightly, tucking down his pants and grabbing tightly around himself, as Nite’s hard cock in his mouth twitched more and more.

,,Your taste is amazing,’’ he mumbled against the hot skin. ,,You’re close?’’ Nite nodded and whined in agreement, still grinding against the troll’s face, without slipping into the warm mouth.

,,Too close,’’ he panted. ,,Come into bed. I w-want to taste you, too,’’ he moaned, as Seymore gave him a last lick. He quickly stripped down before he leaned in over the sorcerer, kissing him as he got onto the soft sheets.

Nite’s skin felt softer against his own green, tougher one. He liked the contrast, he thought. Where Nite was tiny and pale, Seymore was a lot fatter, more muscly, and his skin was a lot darker.

He had liked this with Ruvaen, too, their contrast in beauty and color. While Nite couldn’t compare to the pixie in conventional beauty, his posture was so elegant and dainty, and his movements still so innocent, yet seductive.

Nite had learned more about Seymore intimately and a lot quicker than anyone else. Their game of lustful exploring was much more mutual now, but the sorcerer had studied the troll as the most interesting topic, to master being the perfect lover for him, in a sense. And while the sheer thought of that made him all kinds of tingly, it also threw him back into the mindset, that at some point, sooner or later, both of them would be very hurt.

,,I want to be on top,’’ Nite said, trying to get the troll to lay down beside him. Seymore obliged, getting down on his back as the small man climbed him, grinding his own cock against the troll’s. ,,Fuck, I want to feel it _so bad_ , but… I… haven’t prepared, for that,’’ he admitted. ,,I didn’t know… that we would end up like this… so early in the day,’’ he panted, stroking their cocks together.

,,This is nice, Nite. We don’t have to-,’’ he tried, but the young man interrupted him again.

,, _No_ , but I _want_ to. I feel… so _connected_ , to you, when… when we have sex… Does that make sense?’’ he panted, leaning down to kiss him again. He felt so light on top of him, so easy to toss around and _take_ , he thought, as his imagination mindlessly wandered.

,,Yerh,’’ he mumbled against the thin lips. ,,And I like it too, don’t misunderstand me. I’m just… It’s always nice, no matter what we do,’’ he chuckled, gently scraping the soft skin on the sorcerer’s back. ,,Just _feel_ me. You make me _so fucking hard_ ,’’ he groaned, guiding Nite’s hand down between his legs again.

They stroked each other off while kissing, for a while. Nite’s moans echoed against the bare walls in the room, and he almost melted into their hungry kisses. He knew the young man tried to last, but he really wanted him just to come, so he could taste him.

,,I’m gonna make you come. Get up ‘ere,’’ Seymore panted, his voice raspy as he began to turn the small man around, despite his protests.

,,Seymore! I was just about t-to-!’’ he began, but was cut off by his own moans, when the troll began sucking him off again. He didn’t waste any time and sought out all the things he knew drew the sorcerer crazy. Like licking right underneath the glans, or slightly tickling his balls with his long nails. ,,You’re a _demon_ , not a troll,’’ he moaned, grabbing around the troll’s thick cock, right in front of his face.

He had barely said so, before Seymore felt the familiar rhythm of Nite jerking forward, filling his mouth as he had hoped he would. The sorcerer whined as the long, warm tongue cleaned him off, before releasing him again, swallowing greedily. He laid flat and tiredly on top of the troll, panting slightly, still with the troll’s hard cock in his hands.

,,I might be,’’ he chuckled darkly, grabbing around the small man to put him beside himself instead. Nite didn’t hesitate to kiss him, even though he could undoubtably still taste himself on the troll’s tongue.

,,It feels so _overwhelming_ ,’’ he panted. ,,Right before I come, I mean. No matter _how_ many times I come, it _always_ feels so _intense_ ,’’ he complained. Seymore chuckled again, kissing the small man’s forehead.

,,You’re cute,’’ he said, his façade slipping away for a moment. He blushed at the way Nite looked up at him, his mahogany eyes big and gentle.

,,… Yerh, I’m pretty neat, aren’t I?’’ he said softly, kissing the troll before he placed himself between the older man’s legs. ,,You don’t need to hold back, either, okay? I _said_ I wanted to taste you, and you wouldn’t make me wait for it, would you?’’ he asked seductively.

Seymore often wondered if Nite _tried_ to be flirty, or if he himself just got turned on by his normal arrogance. Regardless the case, he gently held around the sorcerer’s face as he wrapped his mouth around the twitching cock, moaning slightly as he began to face-fuck the small man.

He _loved_ this. Nite’s eyes were only at him, and he looked so _intoxicated_ as he drooled and struggled to keep up the pace. He wanted to keep the sorcerer’s eyes at him, like this, for as long as he could, but he couldn’t deny that he wanted to obey his request, not only because of the thrill of filling the small man’s mouth, but also because of his submissive nature.

,,Oh yerh? You’re pretty impatient today,’’ he said, his voice dripping with horniness as he jerked himself off, while Nite still sucked the tip. ,, _Pretty, thirsty, little slut,_ ’’ he growled, drooling at the sight of the small man in front of him.

,,Stop _growling_ and come for me,’’ he teased, his smile almost wicked as he sucked and licked the heavy member. ,,Don’t worry your little head, you’ll get more _later_. You must be _eager_ to come, right? Even if I haven’t spent that much time on you. You’re still _throbbing_ , in my mouth,’’ he whined, hungrily returning to sucking him off.

Seymore pressed the sorcerer’s head as far down his cock as he could, enjoying the subtle glare he got by this, as he eagerly filled the small man’s mouth. He wasn’t that loud normally, but he had been _really_ good and hadn’t come since last time Nite had graced him with his presence, making him very eager and loud when he finally let himself come. Even if Nite wouldn’t outright say it, he liked that Seymore only came for him, and not by himself. And although Seymore wouldn’t name Nite as his lover, he still found comfort in someone to be submissive to, even if it was his own little game he played.

Before Nite could even begin to swallow it all, the troll moved the sorcerer’s mouth, leaning down and kissed him greedily, tasting himself as the smaller man whimpered confused. As long as Nite didn’t pull away, Seymore continued the kissing, and as his hungry lips continued, the younger man leaned in to better kiss and lick the troll’s thin lips, sharing the cum between them. He was panting heavily when he finally pulled away.

,, _Dirty_ , aren’t you?’’ Nite smirked, leaning in again and kissing him a lot slower this time.

,,I’m sorry,’’ he chuckled, licking his lips.

,,I didn’t say it was a bad thing, now, did I?’’ he said, straddling the older man again, gently shoving him down on the bed anew. Nite laid on top of the troll’s heavy body, relaxing and smiling down to him. ,,… Do you feel a little better?’’ he asked softly, caressing his cheek. Seymore nodded slowly, smiling gently.

,,Yes. Thank you,’’ he mumbled, leaning up to steal yet another kiss. ,,I shouldn’t act without asking, though. I’m sorry if I startled you, at any point,’’ he said.

,,You’re pretty slow, aren’t you?’’ Nite chuckled. He traced the lines in the troll’s face with his long finger. Every wrinkle and every scar got slowly caressed. ,,… You act like it’s a _wonder_ and an _honor_ that I would touch you… That I would _let_ you touch _me_. Like you don’t even consider that I _want_ you,’’ he said calmly. ,,You’re fascinating, and I feel safe with you, and… you’re _beautiful_.’’ Seymore was taken aback for a moment, before his browbone furrowed.

,,… I’m _really_ not…’’

,,Shut up,’’ Nite said. He wasn’t mad, and his words weren’t hard. If anything, he looked a little bored. ,,You’re beautiful, Seymore,’’ he said again, leaning down to kiss the green lips.

He didn’t say anything this time. He wanted to tell Nite that he, too, held his own beauty. As if he just couldn’t say, directly, that he was beautiful. Did that mean that he didn’t think Nite was beautiful? He guessed his views on beauty still were pretty cut and dry.

But he did remember the last time someone called him beautiful.

He still wasn’t over how that ended, yet…


	9. 9) Purpose

,,You don’t _have_ to give me anything,’’ he chuckled, as he washed the dishes, but Nite didn’t budge.

,,I _know_ , but I _want to_ ,’’ he said, rolling his eyes. ,,You said it was a common practice, this time of the year.’’ Seymore cleaned off his hands, leaning against the counter instead.

,,It is, for the believers of _Am_. Trolls don’t do such things,’’ he shrugged. Nite sat down on the counter beside the troll, frustrated, it seemed.

,,Why do you know so much about this _anyway?_ ’’ he said instead. The troll’s gaze became distant, before he looked back at the small man by his side, smiling sadly.

,,… My former lover celebrated this way,’’ he explained.

,,Oh… I see…’’ he said slowly. ,,… What did he give you?’’ he dared to ask, trying to look uninterested, as if it was just a passing question.

,,… The first year we were together, he got my ears pierced,’’ the troll said slowly. Nite seemed surprised by this, and it made the older man chuckle. ,,He didn’t do it himself, don’t you worry. And I had wanted that for a long time, anyway, I was just too nervous to get it done before that,’’ he said, still smiling. The small man looked intensely at the troll’s ears, looking for where they’d been, it seemed.

,,I… _never_ noticed that…’’ he said slowly, getting very close. ,,Do they still work? I mean… did they grow back together, or something like that?’’ he asked, slightly pulling in the troll’s earlobe.

,,As far as I know, they haven’t grown back together,’’ he said, sneaking his arm around the small man. ,,… Other years I mostly got books. But I got some other earrings. It was for my birthday one year, I believe. Maybe for an anniversary?’’ he shrugged.

,,But you don’t wear them anymore…’’ Nite said slowly.

,,… No. I don’t have them anymore. I left most of my things behind, when I left the Center Isles, also the gifts he gave me,’’ he said, the pained expression back in his eyes. Nite was silent for a moment, before he asked:

,,What did you give him? For Winter Solstice, I mean?’’

,,Well, I actually didn’t give him anything,’’ he said awkwardly. ,,As said, trolls don’t celebrate this way, so the first year, I didn’t get him anything. It was really embarrassing, but he said he didn’t need anything. Winter Solstice is about _giving_ in the dark times, he said, not about receiving. So, he didn’t want anything the other years I asked him,’’ he said. ,,I still _cooked_ for him and such. And I still gave him presents for his birthday and our anniversary,’’ he shrugged.

,,That makes sense,’’ Nite said slowly. He placed his own arm around the broad troll, leaning his head against Seymore’s chest. It felt nice, he thought. ,,… What was his name? Can you _at least_ tell me that? It’s weird just to call him ‘the pixie’ or your… _lover_ …’’ he mumbled, looking down.

,,I think I prefer it that way…’’ Seymore said, almost just a whisper, as if the name would make him any more real, or the pain any harder. ,,… His name was Ruvaen. Ruvaen of the Fleuress House,’’ he said, not looking down at the human.

,,… Even his name sounds fancy,’’ Nite muttered, but Seymore wasn’t sure if he should have heard that. He tucked the small man a little closer, leaning down and resting his cheek on Nite’s head. ,,… Are you still in love with him?’’

Seymore felt his chest clutch unbearably at the question. Had Nite asked this before they had started fooling around, he would likely had said _yes_. But now, he wasn’t so sure. Despite still hurting from their breakup, he didn’t think much of Ruvaen anymore, neither did he fantasize about the ice-blue eyes, he otherwise had done for years. They were replaced with deep-set, mahogany ones.

,,… No. I still have a lot of feelings and memories, but… I don’t think I’m in love with him, anymore. I don’t even think… that I would _like_ to be in a relationship with him again, even if I’d ever had the chance,’’ he said, feeling the uneasiness as a pit in his stomach.

This seemed to satisfy the sorcerer, more than he would like. But he couldn’t deny it felt all too nice when Nite looked up at him, his smile all subtly and shy, leaning up to kiss him. He knew it was cheap to accept his affection, because he _knew_ that Nite took this as an opportunity to get closer to the troll’s stone heart.

Nite kissed him much more often now, at all times of the day. In the morning, after he ate breakfast, random times during the day, if he followed the troll around when he tended to the castle, and in the evening, even before they got into bed together.

He felt familiar tingles when Nite did so, tingles of feeling loved and wanted, mixed with the sweetness and sincerity the kisses held. He undoubtably _liked_ when Nite’s kisses where hungry and horny, but more than ever he _desired_ when they were simple and filled with so much love. Maybe that was why it was hard for him to not blur the line between lovers, and just being friends with benefits.

When he pulled away, Nite placed his head on the troll’s chest again, just sitting and relaxing, while he took the troll’s big hands in his. He was sweet and simple, like this, Seymore thought. But he also knew how arrogant and ill-tempered the small man could be, given the wrong circumstances. He tended to remind himself of this, to not dwell too far into the fantasy.

,,What do want to bake tomorrow?’’ Seymore asked gently, curling their fingers together. It was hard not to lean into the softness of the situation. In the end, he just really wanted to see Nite happy and smiling.

,,What did you usually bake with your sister?’’ he asked.

,,Mostly bread. My parents weren’t that interested in our sweets. But we baked sweet buns, when they looked away,’’ he smiled. ,,There’s not enough cherries for a cherry pie, I’m afraid. But we have apples, if you still want pie,’’ he said gently.

,,Yerh, that’s fine. I don’t know if I’ll be of much _help_ , but… I want to keep you company, while you bake, at least,’’ he said.

,,I would like that,’’ he said, gently lifting the young man’s face. He wanted to ask if Nite would like to wait for him, while he finished cleaning, and then join him in his chamber, but it still felt so inappropriate to do so. Instead, he gently rubbed his nose against the human’s, who chuckled melodic.

,,I need to finish up something,’’ Nite said, pulling slightly away. ,,It needs to be ready for _tomorrow_ , so I can’t wait,’’ he explained, as he hopped down from the kitchen counter.

,,… Alright. I’ll finish up here, but I’ll see you tomorrow,’’ he said, trying not to sound hurt. Nite quickly kissed the troll, before he rather enthusiastically went down the corridor, and later into his study chamber.

He knew that Nite was right, that it was silly not to ask for what he wanted. But it felt wrong to want _Nite_. Not because there was anything wrong with liking Nite, but because he was so painfully aware of their situation.

He sometimes wondered how their relation had developed, if he had rejected the human that day, when he asked for help with such personal matters. But more often than that, he wondered how different and _easier_ things would be, had he _not_ rejected Nite of being his lover, when he had asked about it in the library…

Seymore went to bed rather early that night. Although Nite didn’t ask for anything in particular on Winter Solstice, he had also been used to cooking great feasts for the Madam over the years. While their meal probably wouldn’t be as grand this day, he still wanted to spend a lot of time in the kitchen. Preferably with the small man, if he could.

He woke up the next morning, the sorcerer firmly sleeping by his side. He didn’t remember that he had been woken up during the night, but sometimes he would just find Nite sleeping beside him in the morning, both still as clothed as when they normally went to bed. He hadn’t done that before recently, maybe because he sometimes missed sleeping with the troll, but not in a particular lustful mood, either. Although it blurred the lines further, Seymore smiled at the thought of Nite being so comfortable in his presence, and the troll didn’t need sex as an exchange for sleeping together, if that was what Nite had thought. He enjoyed waking up to the light snoring, and the small man that more frequently than not would steal his blanket.

,,Hey,’’ Seymore said gently, caressing the sorcerer by his side. Nite grunted and woke up, his eyes barely open. ,,Happy Winter Solstice,’’ he smiled, leaning down to kiss the small man on his forehead.

,,You’re waking me up for _that?_ ’’ he mumbled, yawning and stretching his arms. ,, _Seymore_ , I want to _sleep_. I went to bed late yesterday,’’ he complained, his thin arms around the troll, hugging him as a big teddy bear, making the older man chuckle slightly.

,,Why were you up so late, anyway?’’ he smiled.

,,I worked on your gift,’’ he said, eyes closed anew. The troll blushed, but Nite didn’t notice. ,,I went down here instead, when I went to bed. I was too tired to go to my own room,’’ he shrugged, smiling slightly. ,,Besides, you’re very nice to sleep with.’’

,,Mm, I look forward to see what you’ve been working on,’’ he said, laying back down to cuddle up with the sorcerer. ,,And you’re always welcome down here,’’ he said, kissing Nite’s forehead again.

,,You’re not working today, are you? Besides cooking, I mean. We can sleep a little longer, can’t we?’’ he smiled, cuddling further against the troll.

,,I don’t think I can sleep anymore. But I don’t mind if you want to sleep in,’’ he said gently.

,,But I don’t want to sleep here _alone_. And I don’t want to go back to my own room, then it’s better if I just stay awake,’’ he whined.

,,I can carry you there,’’ he suggested. It looked like Nite considered it for a moment, but then he shook his head.

,,… Can’t you read for me instead? It doesn’t have to be your raunchy book, the fairy tale one is fine,’’ he yawned. Seymore reached behind him to grab the first and best book on his shelf. He sighed, remembering that the last thing he had read _was_ indeed the raunchy book.

,,Well, it doesn’t start off very sexual,’’ he mumbled, gaining Nite’s interest again. The book was red, with some scribbles on the cover. ,,It’s called ‘Possession’. Clever, isn’t it?’’ Nite chuckled, actually opening his eyes to look at the book.

,,Well, I haven’t read any erotica myself, so I don’t know what such would be called,’’ he said. ,,… Have you read it more than once?’’ Seymore nodded, his smile almost shy. ,, _All_ of it? Not just the steamy parts?’’ he chuckled.

,,Yes, I’ve read it twice or thrice, I think. It’s not that long, and when you get into it, it almost reads itself,’’ he said.

,,… Have you… touched yourself, while reading it?’’ he asked, his gaze a lot more flirtatious now, making the older man whimper slightly.

,,… Yes, but not while I read _all_ of it,’’ he admitted. ,,Then I’ve just found the _steamy_ parts, as you put it,’’ he said.

,,You’re always so shy, when it comes to that book,’’ he smiled, leaning his light body against the troll. ,,Does it hit everything you fancy? Or something you find shameful?’’ he whispered seductively.

,,… Both,’’ he whined. ,,It reminds me of… having sex, with other troll’s. Troll women, I mean,’’ he said. ,,It reminds me of… _rough_ sex, I guess. I really like when you bite me, for example. But trolls are pretty _rough_ in general,’’ he said slowly. He could feel his body ache just at the thought, and he _knew_ that that was Nite’s intention.

,,You don’t think I’m _rough_ enough?’’ he chuckled. ,,Tell me, what’s your favorite part of the book? What’s the pages you keep re-reading, to make yourself come?’’ he smirked. Seymore groaned unwillingly, but didn’t try to pull away, when the sorcerer slowly began to lick and suck on his neck.

,,… It’s, a-ah! It’s when the woman in the book _finally_ let’s her guard down, and then she absolutely takes control of the situation. Like all he has to do is to lean back and she _goes to town_ on his cock,’’ he whined, feeling the sorcerer’s hands underneath the blanket. ,,Weren’t you _tired?_ ’’ he groaned.

,, _Well_ , someone _woke me up_ ,’’ he smirked, fondling the troll on the outside of his pants. ,,Is that what you want me to do? Ride you until you can’t get it up anymore?’’ he mused, nibbling on the troll’s earlobe.

,,I, uhm… It’s not the same. I think that would feel rougher for you, than for me,’’ he tried, feeling the sorcerer’s wet lips against his own.

,,But you don’t _really_ mind that, do you? You’re a very _obedient_ troll. You’re really good at taking it slow and do it at my pace, but don’t deny you would _really_ like to _ram_ it into me,’’ he whispered against the green lips.

,, _Who’s the fucking demon now?_ ’’ he growled, whining wildly in the process. ,,I don’t want to _hurt_ you…’’

,,But if it didn’t hurt me, you would without a doubt want to use me as some kind of lavish sex-toy,’’ he chuckled. ,,I sometimes wonder _how_ obedient you are? How much would I have to tease you, to make you _beg_ for release? Would you be just as obedient, if I stopped touching you _right_ now, leaving you so hot and bothered?’’ he smirked.

Nite’s grip was tight, even through his pants. It didn’t feel as intense, but his _words_ made him all the more eager. But although he wanted to pull his pants off, begging for the sorcerer to suck him of, he couldn’t. If Nite didn’t do it by himself, he didn’t feel like it was his place to ask.

He liked this _way_ too much, he thought, but it only made him more excited that Nite himself seemed to like the control. He couldn’t imagine that the sorcerer was aware of dominance or sadism as part of sexual acts, but the more in control Nite was, the more Seymore’s old, submissive ways showed themselves, and he got desires he hadn’t had in a long time.

Like being whipped. Being humiliated, on his hands and knees, only for his Master’s pleasure, whatever it might’ve been. Being tied up, blindfolded, gagged…

Seymore had done most things, to the point where he thought of himself as filthy. There were a lot of guilt and shame, but a lot of hidden desires as well. In the right hands and in the right setting, Seymore didn’t _mind_ being filthy. But he wouldn’t like that Nite looked at him, in a way where he _actually_ thought that Seymore was too used or too extreme for the young man’s comfort.

,,You don’t want to beg a little?’’ he teased, gently tugging in the troll’s pants. ,,It looks like a _tight fit_. You’re _sure_ I shouldn’t just… _help_ _you,_ take a little of the pressure off?’’ he said, licking the whimpering troll’s lips. ,,I really _like_ how eager you get. It’s _fun_ , to torture you a little.’’

Nite’s eyes where enchanting and held promises Seymore couldn’t dwell too far into. He wanted those thin, wet lips around his cock, with those long, pale hands jerking him off, and he _knew_ that if he just asked, he could get that. But he also knew that Nite was _painfully_ aware that Seymore wouldn’t speak up, his power so much greater this way.

,,Maybe we should just… wait until later? You can handle that, right? You’re so hard and throbbing, but if you have no complaints, I think you’ll be _more_ than ready for tonight, if we wait a little longer. Don’t you think, my little pet?’’ he mused, whispering to Seymore so seductively, that he almost thought he could come just by this. It seemed like Nite noticed the aggressive throb as well, as he looked delighted between the troll’s legs.

,, _Evil, little man_ ,’’ he growled, feeling the sorcerer’s playful hand finally creep down into his pants, jerking him firmly, but not releasing his cock. ,, _Don’t make me fucking come in my pants…_ ’’ he growled, gasping, feeling his head go airy, as he jerked unwillingly in the human’s tight grip.

,,You’re so loud,’’ Nite smirked. ,,You’re _filthy_ , you know that? I _love_ that about you. You like to think you’re so in control… but I really like when you’re _not_ ,’’ he said, gently biting the troll’s neck. ,,Why are you holding back? Afraid to _dirty_ yourself?’’

,,… Y-yerh…’’ he panted, refusing to look down. He had dropped the book a long time ago, but he couldn’t help but to recall different scenarios from it now. It felt almost _painful_ not to come.

It had only been a couple of days since he and Nite last had slept together, but he had already hoped for the sorcerer’s return yesterday. Being teased, and even so early in the morning, was nearly unbearable at this point, but Nite hit all of his kinks way too closely, maybe without even realizing it himself.

,,… I want to come…’’ he finally whimpered. ,, _Please_ let me come… _Please_ don’t let me come in my pants…’’ he begged, finally looking pleadingly down at the human. Nite looked almost flustered for a moment, before his demeanor returned to his confident self, as he promptly went down between the troll’s legs, eagerly pulling his pants down.

,,Such a _good boy_ , aren’t you?’’ he said, before opening his mouth. He sucked him off, fast and hard, not wasting any time. ,,Come on, don’t be shy. You want to fill my mouth? Want me to taste how _eager_ it makes you that I demean you like this?’’ he chuckled, before returning to sucking him off.

He wanted to just close his eyes and think about the book, which lewd pages he had read so many times that he knew them by heart, but the sight of Nite was far more enchanting. He held firmly around his face with both hands, fucking his mouth himself, enjoying the gurgling noises that the sorcerer couldn’t avoid making.

,,So good…’’ he panted, feeling Nite’s teeth scrape his skin unwillingly. ,,Just a moment, I’m _so_ close…’’ he whined, pushing as far down as he could. The human seemed surprised at first, gasping for air and tearing up, but Seymore just held him there for a moment, before finally pulling back from the small man’s throat to come in his mouth.

Nite swallowed greedily, gulping loudly as he did so. When he finally pulled away, he seemed very satisfied with the troll, leaning up to kiss him again.

,,You’re such a horny troll,’’ he chuckled, kissing him dearly. ,,See? That wasn’t that hard, now, was it?’’ he smiled, laying down on top of the older man.

,,No… I guess not…’’ he sighed relaxed, covering them up with the blanket again.

,,I thought you said you couldn’t _sleep_ anymore,’’ Nite teased, but didn’t move from the troll’s warm body.

,,Well, there was something distracting me…’’ he chuckled, kissing the small man’s forehead anew. ,,You don’t want me to… get you off?’’ he asked slowly, but Nite just shrugged.

,,Later, I promise.’’ He then looked at the troll again, almost flustered. ,,You know… Sometimes it’s just really thrilling to make you whimper and feel good. But I don’t… Well, my sex-drive isn’t as high as yours, I believe,’’ he said, blushing slightly. ,,But I still don’t _mind_ getting you off, and I still really _like_ this, don’t misunderstand me! I mean… I feel very… _desired_ , could be the right word,’’ he said, a small smile spreading across his lips.

,,It’s okay. Just… you know…’’ he tried, but Nite interrupted him.

,,I _know_ I don’t _have to_ get you off. But in the end, it went to my favor. You’re going to stay here, and sleep in a little more with me, instead of leaving me all cold and alone,’’ he smiled peacefully, kissing the troll’s neck gently. Seymore _did_ feel pretty tired and relaxed again. ,,… One last question,’’ he suddenly said.

,,Yes?’’

,,… In that book of yours… The raunchy one… You picture yourself as the _female_ troll, don’t you?’’ he said, looking down at the book, still on the floor. Seymore felt his face heat, making the young man chuckle again. ,,You like to be… what would be the right term? _Dominated?_ Right?’’ he asked, somewhat shyly.

,,… Well, uhm… I don’t… Uhm…’’ he chuckled, his cheeks burning. ,, _Yes_ , I like being dominated. By men and women. So… at some points, in the book, I picture myself as the females the male character is with,’’ he admitted, hiding his face underneath his arm. ,,But when the female protagonist takes over, then I picture myself as the man, I guess. I like… to be… uhm…’’

,,… not in control?’’ Nite suggested. Seymore nodded slightly. ,,… Do you want me to take control?’’ he asked, still seeming a little unsure about the situation.

,,Not necessarily,’’ he shrugged, grabbing around the human to move his face closer to his own. ,,But… I really fancy your way with words. That might not be _dominance_ , but if you’re comfortable with that… _by the stars_ , it gets me going,’’ he smiled, kissing the sorcerer gently.

,,You’re weird like that,’’ Nite chuckled. ,,I like to talk… _A lot_ , actually. Apparently, also during sex?’’ he said, relaxing with his face beside the troll’s. ,,I’m glad if your like that…’’ he yawned.

It only took Nite a minute to fall back asleep. He was a pretty heavy sleeper, and his internal clock seemed to be out of order all the time. Seymore liked to get up early, where Nite rarely was up before 10 am or so. And while Seymore didn’t need _a lot_ of sleep, he knew Nite did, but the sorcerer rarely got to bed before 2 am, as far as he knew. Then, he would stay up a couple more hours, if he visited Seymore’s room.

They didn’t sleep that much longer, but Nite seemed far more satisfied waking up this time. He seemed rather chipper, as he talked about different things he had read about, while Seymore baked. While the bread dough was rising, he began making cookies, and at last, he prebaked the pie crust.

,,Can you slice the apples?’’ the troll asked, throwing an apple playfully to the sorcerer, who barely caught it. He chuckled at the sight.

,,Not without cutting _myself_ ,’’ he scoffed. ,,… Can I use _magic_ for it?’’ he asked slowly. Seymore felt the familiar uneasiness, and was about to say no. He could clearly see that Nite expected as much, too.

,,… Will there be any explosions?’’ he asked slowly, and the sorcerer enthusiastically shook his head. ,,… Then yes, use your magic,’’ he smiled, watching the small man gleefully jump down to get to cutting.

,, _Really?_ My fearful troll is opening up to _magic?_ ’’ he said chipperly, but Seymore doubted that he noticed what he was even saying. He felt flustered by the implications of _my troll_ , but Nite didn’t notice the red tips on the troll’s ears.

Even with magic, it was fairly obvious that Nite hadn’t been used to working in a kitchen. As soon as Seymore was done with his own chores, he stepped behind the young man, reaching around to guide his hands.

,,They need to be very thinly sliced. Like this,’’ he said gently. Even if both of Nite’s hands glowed, it didn’t feel any different to hold around him. It seemed to surprise and fluster him, that Seymore so calmly guided his hands, as he ended up mostly cutting the apples himself.

,,… You’re not afraid of magic anymore?’’ he asked slowly, as the troll kept moving his hands.

,,I am. But I’m not afraid of you. And in some way… that makes the magic a little less scary, actually. I didn’t think it would. But I think it have helped me, that you talk about it so freely,’’ he said softly, kissing the small man’s cheek. Nite giggled, but kept his focus strong on the white nothingness in his hands, that made up his magic.

,,I can do _so many things_ like this,’’ he said happily. ,,And I’ll be able to do even _more_ when I _finally_ open up that book I’m working with,’’ he said dreamingly. ,,You’ll see. It’ll be _great_ ,’’ he smiled, finally letting go of the magic as all the apples were cut.

,,I’ll look forward to that,’’ he chuckled as he put the apples away, covered in sugar and lemon juice.

,,… I like this,’’ Nite admitted, almost sparkling as he said so. So innocent and pure in his gesture, he reached out for the troll’s hand, just holding it as he used to so many months ago. ,,This is very… _simple_ , right? You like that, simple things?’’ he said.

,,I do,’’ the troll said. He was right, it felt very simple, right now. He didn’t need to be harsh or stay in the reality today. Today, he just wanted to celebrate that the light would be on the rise again in the upcoming months, even on a sun forsaken island as Mokar.

Seymore took both of Nite’s hands in his, trying to gently guide him around. Not really dancing, but something resembling just that. The troll hummed tunes he fondly remembered, pulling the small man closer as their movements became a little more fluent.

Nite really _did_ sparkle. He didn’t even seem to realize what they were doing, maybe not even registering he was moving himself, but Seymore just kept dancing around with him, placing one hand on the sorcerer’s waist, while the other kept holding his hand dearly.

,,Place your hand on my shoulder, if you can,’’ Seymore said gently, and Nite did so without questioning. He could feel his long, cold hands gently caressing his neck, while Seymore still danced around with him in his arms.

,,Why are we dancing?’’ Nite suddenly said, giggling slightly. The troll shrugged, but his smile was bright.

,,You don’t like it?’’ he asked, although it was clear to see that even if Nite didn’t care about dancing, he didn’t mind doing it with Seymore.

,,It’s very… very _lovely_ ,’’ he admitted, his cheeks heating up ever so slightly. ,,Might be the best Winter Solstice I’ve had, so far,’’ he smiled.

,,You’re very kind,’’ Seymore said, leaning down to kiss the sorcerer, who gladly placed both arms around the troll’s broad shoulders, welcoming the gentle lips.

,,I didn’t know you liked to dance,’’ he admitted, when Seymore let go of him again. The troll continued with the pie, as Nite returned to sit down on the kitchen counter.

,,Well, I guess there’s a lot you don’t know about me,’’ he shrugged. ,,I’m not a great dancer. But it’s… _fun_ ,’’ he said, almost saying _romantic_ , by mistake. But it was, for him, at least. When he looked at Nite, it was hard to deny that it seemed more and more tempting to imagine a future, where Willa wouldn’t come home. Not that he wanted the Madam dead, but if a scenario could occur, where she simply just didn’t return, leaving Nite and himself be at the castle, he wouldn’t complain anymore, he thought.

,,I don’t think I really did much,’’ Nite giggled. ,,I haven’t danced before. I just… let you guide me,’’ he said, his cheeks rosy anew.

,,That’s a part of dancing. You can guide me next time,’’ the troll smiled, finishing up the pie and putting it into the oven. ,,Now we just wait. What do you want to do in the meantime?’’ the troll hummed as he walked up to the sorcerer, gently kissing him again. To his surprise, Nite only kissed him quickly, before he moved towards the hallway.

,,Then I want to give you your present!’’ he said, already running off before Seymore got a chance to react. The troll didn’t have to wait for long, before Nite came back with a small box, poorly wrapped in a curly, silver ribbon. ,,It’s, uhm… It’s not that _neat_ , but, heh…’’ he said, suddenly getting all kinds of flustered again.

,,It’s _very_ sweet of you,’’ he said as Nite handed him the small box. He wondered what it could be, as he unwrapped the ribbon. It was too small to be a book, and he didn’t really know what else Nite would give him.

But he only got more confused and awestruck, when he opened the lid, revealing a set of earrings. Handcrafted, he guessed, because he had never seen anything alike.

Although a pair, the left was a small bead, with three thin strings hanging therefrom in different lengths, and each with a star at the end. The other didn’t have a hanging piece, but was formed as a half moon, much bigger, and with a piece to clamp onto his helix, engraved with small, purple stones in a pattern he didn’t recognize. The earrings themselves where in pure silver.

,,Did you _make_ these?’’ he asked, not taking his gaze away from the small box.

,,Yes… I, uhm… I haven’t really studied _how to make jewelry_ , and I didn’t really know how _fancy_ you would like them to be, but I found these designs I tried to merge together, and now I’m kind of worried if their too much, or-,’’ he blabbered, getting more and more red-faced as they spoke, but Seymore just simply chuckled, leaning in to kiss the small man.

,,They are _beautiful_ Nite. You’re _very_ good at this,’’ he assured him. ,,This doesn’t require a hole, right? It’s just click-on? I don’t have a hole in my helix,’’ he said, as he began to put them on.

,,Yes, you can just put it on, no hole necessary,’’ he assured him. ,,I, uhm… I looked closely at your ears yesterday, to make sure it was only your earlobes you had pierced, how many you had, if it was both ears, you know, stuff like that,’’ he said, smiling proudly as Seymore put both of the earrings on.

,,There’s so many details,’’ he said excitedly. ,,I never really had _fancy_ ones before. My first earrings where just rings. Then I had a pair of crystal, but you know… discarded crystals, so they weren’t that expensive. They were very sparkly, and that was what I was looking for,’’ he shrugged. ,,But these are… I don’t even know how to describe them,’’ he smiled fondly.

,,I’m happy you like them,’’ he smiled. The troll picked him up, kissing him happily. Seymore had rarely had anyone who gave him presents. But Nite was so careful and calculated with things like these, and Seymore really _did_ feel appreciated. And _loved_ , he thought.

,, _Thank you_ , Nite,’’ he smiled, kissing him again. ,,How do they look on me? I know I’m not really dressed up, but, heh… Do they look nice?’’ he said, smiling shyly as he sat the sorcerer down. Nite looked at him intensely, before he chuckled.

,,Well, I don’t know. I don’t know how it’s supposed to look like,’’ he giggled. ,,But _you_ look beautiful. Your smile is very… _very_ nice,’’ he said softly.

It all felt so overwhelming all of a sudden. He didn’t like being called _beautiful_ , but the way Nite said it made it all seem okay. Like he almost _felt_ beautiful.

,,Thank you,’’ he said again, almost breathlessly. ,,Why did you choose purple? For the stones, I mean,’’ he asked, trying to calm himself down again.

,,I like purple,’’ Nite simply said. ,,… I like green, too, but I thought it wouldn’t… uhm, be that noticeable, with your skin-tone,’’ he shrugged. ,,I didn’t know what your favorite color was.’’ Seymore chuckled, leaning against the counter top, as Nite hopped up on it again.

,,It’s actually red. But I like purple, too. I think these clashes less with my skin-tone,’’ he said. ,,They formed a pattern,’’ he said, gesturing to his helix. ,,Does that mean anything in particular?’’

,,It’s ahm… It’s a rune. Or, as closely as I could get it. It’s… It’s a symbol of love…’’ he said slowly, looking at the troll with those big, mahogany eyes, that normally was so stern or confident, but now was unsure and almost frightened.

Seymore couldn’t hide his own surprise by his statement. They tried not to speak about that stuff too much these days. Nite had learned that if he crept too close to the troll with his feelings, Seymore would try to distance himself, in some way or another. He was still aware how fondly the sorcerer felt about him, but Nite hadn’t tried to push them to be lovers, since the whole ordeal with the letter from his mother.

,,It’s… very beautiful…’’ he said slowly, smiling as convincingly as he could. Nite seemed disappointed by this statement, but didn’t look away with those big, uncertain eyes.

,,… Yerh.’’ Seymore tried to look busy, peaking at the pie and cleaning things in the kitchen that without a doubt could wait for later. Nite just looked down at the floor for a while, but he didn’t leave, as Seymore somewhat had expected him to do. It felt like torture, to watch him like this, when his smile had been so bright just moments ago.

,,… I’m sorry, that was tactless of me,’’ he finally said, removing the pie from the oven before he went to stand in front of the young man again. ,,They are really amazing, Nite. You’re so talented, and I think it’s _incredible_ what you can do,’’ he smiled, trying to make the young man look at him again. When he finally did so, his big eyes were glossy. ,,… But that’s not what you want me to say…’’ he said slowly.

,, _No_ , it’s _not!_ ’’ he said, angrily wiping his eyes, before any tears fell. ,,And I _know_ … I know it all… Why you won’t… Won’t say… Gosh, I feel so _stupid!_ ’’ he said, hiding his face in his hands.

The troll tryingly laid a hand on the small man’s shoulder. When Nite didn’t pull away, he held around him instead. He kept covering his face, mumbling into the troll’s shoulder.

,,You’re not stupid. I’m stupid, when I make you this upset,’’ he said quietly. ,,I… I can’t say, what you want me to. I don’t want to lead you on. And I don’t want to see you being sad, but much less, I don’t want to be the one who _makes_ you sad,’’ he said.

,,You’re _not_ ,’’ he said, finally looking at the troll again. They were silent for a moment, before Nite sighed. ,,Okay, you _are_ ,’’ he admitted. ,,You’re making things so _hard_ , Seymore. It’s so _simple,_ but you’re _so_ troublesome!’’ he scolded, gently holding the older man’s face in both of his hands. ,,… _I love you_. And you can never _convince_ me that you don’t love me, too,’’ he said stubbornly, fidgeting with the earrings.

,,I… I’m very _happy_ to-,’’ but Nite cut him off, huffing loudly and letting go of the troll’s face.

,, _No_ , stop that!’’ he demanded. He closed his eyes, breathing heavily for a moment, before he opened his eyes again, seemingly trying to calm down a little. ,,Okay. Scratch that. Seymore, humor me for a day, won’t you? I know trolls don’t give each other gifts today, and it’s rude to ask for a present… but can’t you just _let go_ of all these worries, just for today? Like when we danced, like how _simple_ things can be, right?’’ he tried. There was a slight desperation in his voice, as if he was afraid that Seymore would pull away again, but he didn’t.

,,… It would be cruel of me, to say _I love you_ today, but not tomorrow…’’ he simply said. Nite seemed to be on the verge of tears anew, but wiped his eyes again.

,,… Then don’t _say_ it,’’ he tried, placing his arms around the troll’s shoulders. ,,Then just _show_ me,’’ he whispered, feeling the troll’s arms around him, picking him up again. It didn’t seem to startle him this time.

,,We’re already so close, Nite. Cuddling, kissing… If not words… what is it you want me to do?’’ he asked quietly. Nite thought about it for a second. His gaze was wandering around, as if the answer was right in front of him, but he refused to meet the amber eyes.

,,… I don’t know,’’ he finally said. ,,I’ve never… I’ve never had a relationship, I’ve never wondered how it would be… What I want? I want…’’ He stopped for a moment, before he finally met the troll’s saddened eyes. ,,I want… what you gave _him_ … I don’t know anything about this… But you do…’’ he said quietly. Nite didn’t need to specify what he meant, but that didn’t make it any easier for the troll.

,,That’s not how this works,’’ he said. ,,Relationships are _different_ from each other. Besides… You don’t want _that_. Our relation was built upon me… _submitting_ , to him, in a sense. _Devoting_ myself to him…’’ he slowly said, but Nite didn’t seem discouraged by this.

,,Then I want _that_ ,’’ he said firmly, before he looked unsure again. ,,… Wait… I don’t… I don’t think I understand that… Submitting _how?_ ’’

,,Ahm… That’s… You remember earlier? When we talked about dominance and control?’’ he said perplexed, gently placing the human down on the floor again.

,,Yerh, but that’s… That’s sexual…’’ he said.

,, _Yes_. But I’m… I build my whole life around him, Nite. All my time, all my energy, to this person… In return, he took care of me. My heart, my body. I… I don’t like to be in charge… I made it my whole purpose, to care for and be this man’s lover…’’ he said, fumbling with the words along the way. ,,… That’s why… it hurts _so badly_ to talk about, even after all these years… It’s not because I want to keep it a secret. It’s because it hurts and I’m afraid to scare you off, by how _intense_ it all was. Because without that kind of guidance, that he gave me… I feel so broken… I feel _so_ lonely…’’ he admitted.

Nite didn’t say anything for a while. Seymore didn’t even dare to look at him, afraid that the young man found him weak and pathetic, as he so often had heard before. He _felt_ weak…

Then the earrings dangled against his neck, reminding him shortly about how _beautiful_ he had felt, just moments ago. When he finally looked back at the human, Nite didn’t seem to think any less of Seymore than before. If anything, he seemed wondering, as always.

,,… Then I’m _that_ …’’ the small man said, taking the troll’s hand in his as he pulled him closer to himself. ,,Today… you’re _mine_. _I’m_ your purpose,’’ he said firmly, pulling the taller man down to kiss him again. There was something so uncertain about all of his moves, but Seymore didn’t pull away. He just simply let him _lead_ him.

,,… I would like that, very much,’’ he smiled, gently cupping the small man’s cheek, but Nite still seemed rather confused.

,,… How is this _different_ from a servant?’’ he asked.

,,As your servant, I don’t have to care about you, I have to take your orders. As your sub, I take your orders, because I _care_ about you,’’ he said, emphasizing it as strongly as he could. ,,I want to follow you. I want to help and protect you.’’ He took a deep breath, before he kissed the small man’s forehead. ,,I want _you_.’’

,,… Okay. I think… I think I get it,’’ he said slowly, smiling nervously. He calmly let his fingers run across his creations, really looking at the earrings as Seymore observed his every move. ,,You know… I didn’t really think that you… would _ask_ about the rune,’’ he admitted. ,,I put so many weird details into them… I really didn’t think you would notice the rhinestones. Or, I _knew_ you would notice the rhinestones, but not that you would… ask more about them,’’ he said, his voice shaking a little. ,,It’s… It’s weird. You’re so big and strong, with all your scars and your kinda bruiting nature, and then… Then you just want to be pretty and be at the mercy at some… small, confused boy…’’

His hand shook as the fingertips ran across the troll’s face. Seymore gently took both of the sorcerer’s hands in his, kissing every finger, while the amber eyes never left the mahogany. He seemed flustered again, but didn’t interrupt him.

If Nite wanted to be treated like he had treated Ruvaen, he would. Nothing would be easier, if anything, it came so natural serving Nite, and if he had permission to use all of his feelings for the small man, without putting any words into it, nothing would make him happier.

,,You’re not just ‘some confused boy’,’’ he gently said, picking the sorcerer up anew, gently holding him closely. ,,… I don’t see you that way. I see someone who’s strong and smart. Someone who makes me feel… whole…’’ he said, feeling his heart in his throat. ,,I don’t think you see me clearly, either. I don’t think many people see me as _masculine_. Clearly, you do, and either is fine. I don’t need to be anything specific, when I’m with you. Because with you… I can just be _me_ ,’’ he whispered against the pale lips.

When Nite leaned in, he was so much more direct than before. His fingers held the troll’s chin in place, as he greedily and deeply kissed the older man, exploring his tongue and biting it if he came to close to the small man’s teeth. The sorcerer’s gaze was as confident as ever, as he looked back at the troll, his smile likewise, as he flashed his broken tooth.

,,That’s right. You can be my pretty troll, right?’’ Seymore nodded, feeling the stars on his earrings clink together. Even the sound was beautiful and fragile, just like he felt right now, being looked upon by the man in his arms. ,,… I thought you would want a big, strong man to toss you around. But you like… dainty, little men, don’t you?’’ he smirked, watching how flustered the troll got, when he nodded anew. ,,Interesting…’’ he said, his smile almost a little wicked.

,,… I like the contrast,’’ he admitted. It always surprised him how quickly Nite could turn everything around. One moment, he seemed so uncertain, but the next he was back to tease the poor troll, licking his lips and silently driving the older man mad.

,,I see,’’ he said. ,,I kind of thought that I became the bottom because I was smaller and… well, more feminine. Like I somewhat was… the girl,’’ he admitted.

,,What? _No!_ I… I ahm… I only topped, because you seemed to be very _interested_ when I fingered you,’’ he said confused. ,,I don’t view you as _girly_ , Nite. You just never really seemed interested in being the top, and I don’t… I don’t… really _tell_ you what I want…’’ he smiled flustered. Nite put a finger over the troll’s lips, before he could apologize further.

,,No, I’ve noticed that,’’ he chuckled. ,,You know, I didn’t _mind_ that. If you saw me as more girly, that is. I don’t really care. I like the way things are, and I like being the bottom,’’ he shrugged. ,,… Would you like me to be the top?’’ he asked slowly.

,,I wouldn’t mind you being the top. Is it something you want to try out?’’ he asked, hopeful.

,,… No, not really,’’ he admitted. ,,I don’t think… it’ll work like I want it to,’’ he said. ,,I think I tense up too much when I touch myself. That might be why I can’t come like that. I think it would be similar with sex,’’ he shrugged.

,,Well you don’t _have_ to come by sex, I can help you finish up otherwise. It’s fine if you don’t want to top, but don’t let _that_ stop you,’’ he said. Nite thought about for a moment, before he smiled.

,,No. I have something _different_ in mind,’’ he smirked, wiggling his way out of the troll’s warm embrace. ,,But you’ll have to wait for _that_. If you clean the kitchen, I’ll go prepare myself. Meet me in my chamber, okay?’’ he smiled, leaning up to kiss the troll.

He felt a strange rush of _excitement_. A familiar, comforting feeling of being cared for and having his interests piqued in all these ways, that he couldn’t ask for himself. He felt safe, knowing that Nite was well observant and quick at learning, but he also felt somewhat guilty.

,,I thought this should be my gift to you,’’ he said quietly.

,,It will be,’’ he assured him, kissing him so sweetly that it almost hurt. He liked how much they kissed, even when discussing things like these. ,,It’s always a treat for me, when my pretty troll is smiling. And if you’re going to _devote_ yourself to me, at least for today… then I want to be someone you’ll _want_ to devote yourself to,’’ he whispered longingly.

Seymore wanted to object, that Nite already _was_ someone he wanted to devote himself to, but he hesitated a moment too long. What would that say about him, if that was the case? Would he lie if he said that? He somewhat already felt some level of devotion to the sorcerer, but if that was due to being his servant, or his ever-confusing feelings towards him, he was unsure about.

,,I’ll be ready in… about 20 minutes. And then I’ll get what I want, too, right?’’ Nite smiled, either ignoring or not noticing the troll’s flickering gaze.

,,Right. I’ll be with you soon,’’ he said, smiling slightly before kissing the human’s hands again. It all felt somewhat formal, but he liked that. He wondered if this was what Nite really had wanted, when he had said he wanted to be lovers, just for a day? If this was what he himself had imagined it to be, if they were to be lovers?

The minutes went by too slowly. Seymore was in front of the sorcerer’s chamber, but he knew he was too early. He didn’t want to disturb Nite, but he didn’t know what else to do than wait in the hallway.

,,Just come in. I’m waiting,’’ he heard behind the closed door. The way Nite said it, so firmly, but so tempting at the same time, made the troll’s skin tingle excited.

The room was dark when he opened the door, but on the bed sat Nite, with small, floating crystals lighting up the place, illuminating his pale skin and the deep-set, mahogany eyes that Seymore always felt so entranced by. He had changed clothes, no longer wearing his long, grey sweater, but one of his silky shirts, one in a dark, green color. He didn’t get up from the bed, but sat in his soft sheets, smiling so seductively at the sight of the troll.

,,Did you hurry to get here?’’ he smiled, gesturing the troll to come closer. He was wearing white, formfitting gloves, Seymore noticed.

,,Yes. I was excited to see what you had in mind,’’ he admitted, getting on his knees in front of the bed, waiting for the small man’s order.

,,Mmmh, I bet. You like when I’m around?’’ he smiled, gently touching the troll’s face with his gloved fingers. He felt the delightfully shiver, and nodded eagerly, making the stars tingle beautifully. ,,It’s only been a moment,’’ he chuckled. ,,Do you miss me that much normally as well? Or are you just _eager_ to see what I’m planning to do with you?’’ he asked curiously. The troll nodded again, trying not to seem too excited.

,,I feel better in your company,’’ he smiled, looking dreamingly at the small man.

,,Then don’t sit _there_. Come here, silly,’’ he chuckled, welcoming the troll as he got into the bed, leaning down to kiss the sorcerer, but stopping just before he closed the space. ,,You don’t need to ask permission to kiss me. Or to touch me. I want to feel wanted, too. I want you to hold me and show me _exactly_ why you’re here,’’ he panted, his confident façade fading by the minute.

Seymore didn’t answer, he just held around the small man, picking him up onto his lap and kissing him longingly. He was gentle, even if he was in just as much of a need as he had been moments ago. He wanted Nite to feel exactly the way he saw him; wonderful, pretty and strong.

He wandered across the small man’s face, kissing his cheeks, his nose, the eyelids and chin. Nite giggled, melting into the troll’s embrace as he felt Seymore’s lips against his neck, partly covered by the collar of his shirt.

,,You look so pretty,’’ he whispered to the small man. ,,It really suits you.’’

,,I guessed you would like this,’’ he chuckled. ,, _Thank you_ ,’’ he whispered, kissing the troll again.

,,I always think you’re pretty, regardless what you’re wearing. You’re very graceful,’’ he said.

,,What are charmer, aren’t you? What are you trying to achieve?’’ he smirked.

,,… I want you,’’ he simply said, as he watched the small human blush. ,,I want to see you smile, and hear you laugh. I want to feel your skin against mine, and I want to hold you. I want…’’ he hesitated, before leaning down to his ear, his voice just a whisper; ,,… I want to kiss every inch of you.’’ He chuckled when he heard the unwilling whimper leaving the small man’s parted lips, the human looking small and flustered again. ,,This is _your_ kind of dirty talk, isn’t it?’’ he smiled, humming delighted as Nite nodded. ,,You like being _praised_.’’

,,Y-yes,’’ he panted, as Seymore dived down to kiss his neck again. ,,I thought _I_ should be in control?’’ he whined as Seymore slowly placed the small man on his back, leaning in over him.

,,You _are_ in control. Just say so, and I’ll stop. But as long as you make these _sweet_ noises, I want to keep it up,’’ he hummed. ,,I’m just following your orders, Nite. You said I shouldn’t ask permission before I kissed or touched you. You should consider what consequences that could lead to,’’ he chuckled softly.

,,You always say that, but never do anything I wouldn’t want you to, anyway,’’ he mumbled before the troll kissed him again. ,,Take of my clothes. I want you to kiss me all over,’’ he said.

,,But you dressed up _so_ nicely. So elegant. So _beautiful_ ,’’ he whispered longingly. ,,I assure you, I can make you feel good, even when you’re clothed,’’ he smirked, gently biting Nite’s earlobe.

,,You’re not very _obedient_ today,’’ he scolded playfully, biting down on the troll’s lip when he went in for another kiss. ,,Do you need a spanking or something?’’ he chuckled, seemingly not thinking much about it.

,,… If I’m a bad troll, you should punish me,’’ he said, almost purring. He had thought about it ever since he saw the sorcerer’s gloved hands, how _desperately_ he needed those long fingers on his rear. Even if Nite wasn’t interested in topping, he could maybe still find pleasure in punishing the older man.

,,What?’’ he chuckled. ,,That’s not a punishment. You _want_ me to spank you, don’t you?’’ he smirked, gliding his hands down Seymore’s back.

,,… Yerh…’’ he admitted, laying down beside the human.

,,Eager,’’ he whispered, getting up on his knees to sit behind the troll. He could feel Nite’s hands run down his back, down to his ass, firmly squeezing it through his pants. It seemed to excite the small man, as he panted slightly at just touching the troll. ,,… You need to beg for it,’’ he said, almost moaning by the thought. Seymore held his head down, getting slightly up on his knees to make it undoubtably clear what he wanted, making the small man whine as he kept squeezing the troll’s ass.

,, _Please_ spank me. I haven’t been an obedient troll, I _need_ a firm hand,’’ he said quietly, but loud enough for the human to hear. He then pulled his pants down slightly, just enough to reveal his awaiting ass and let his cock hang loosely between his legs.

,,By Am, you want it _that bad, huh?_ I wonder how eager it will make you, when I’m done beating your sorry ass?’’ he mumbled. Seymore chuckled at the thought, before he felt the first hit on his ass, making him moan surprised. He couldn’t have _imagined_ that Nite could, physically, hit him so hard, so he looked behind him to meet the eyes of the ever so confident young man. ,,What? You wanted a _punishment_ , right?’’ he smirked.

,, _Yes_ ,’’ he whined, wiggling his ass impatiently. He whined when he felt the sharp pain again, shaking a little as Nite without warning kept going this time. He had almost thought that all the strength came from the gloves, but that couldn’t be the case, because Nite had taken them off before he started spanking him. The feeling of skin to skin contact, and the human’s surprising strength made his knees weak.

,,I didn’t know you would like stuff like this _so much_ ,’’ he mumbled, switching between which ass cheek he hit. ,,You’re being really _loud_ , too. I wonder…’’ he smirked, reaching underneath the troll as he started to jerk him off, still spanking his ass with his other hand. ,, _Punishment_ , as if,’’ he scoffed.

,,It _would_ be a punishment if you stopped now,’’ he said, drooling down on the sheets. ,,You have no _idea_ how _much_ I want this,’’ he moaned.

,,That’s because you never _tell_ me,’’ he scolded, his grip around Seymore’s cock tightening. ,,You know, I would do _just about anything_ for you,’’ he whispered gently, contrasting how hard he spanked him. ,,So tell me, _Seymore_ : Do you still want me to keep my clothes on?’’ he whispered seductively.

,,… N-no… Or, can I fuck you while you wear it? The shirt, at least. You look so _damn_ sexy,’’ he kept blabbering, whining when Nite moved to kiss him.

,,Your ass is all warm. Do you want me to continue?’’ He smirked when the troll nodded again. He tugged gently in the small chain on his earring, the one that connected to his helix, making the troll blush. ,,Don’t worry, they won’t break. It’s a very strong chain,’’ he assured him.

,,Good. I would be really sad to break such a beautiful gift on the first day,’’ he said gently, kissing the sorcerer again. It felt so _easy_ to indulge into, even if Nite occasionally seemed confused or flustered by all of this. Maybe it had been easier to indulge into, or harder for him to resist, had they started off as this?

,,You like them?’’ he asked, gently touching both of the long troll ears as he nodded. ,,You really _do_ look beautiful, Seymore. You don’t need the earrings to do so, though,’’ he said longingly.

,,You’re too kind,’’ he smiled. ,,I didn’t know you had such a firm hand,’’ he said, as Nite gently rubbed the heated skin. He already felt sore in the best way possible.

,,… Is it weird, if I _liked_ hitting you?’’ he suddenly asked quietly. Seymore noticed the concern in his voice and sat up to better comfort the small man.

,,No, not when we do it like this,’’ he said gently, leaning down. ,,See? I liked it _very much_ , too. You can be _rough_ with me,’’ he said, gently placing Nite’s hand on his hard cock. He caught the sorcerer’s gaze, and he seemed to be too enchanted with the troll to really notice his words. Seymore chuckled, lightly licking his lips. ,,Your _pretty troll_ liked it _very_ much,’’ he purred.

,, _Fuck yes_ you are,’’ he mumbled, before almost jumping into the troll’s embrace, making them both fall down into the soft bed again. His kisses where greedy, as he moaned and whined into the troll’s open mouth, his hands all over the older man as he caressed and grinded against him. ,,You wanna fuck me? Then come and fucking _get_ me,’’ he moaned, rather violent ripping his shirt open. Seymore groaned and didn’t wait for further instructions, before he, as gently as he could, while still being riled up so wonderfully, tackled to small man onto the bed, making him lean in over his smaller frame.

,,You’re so hot,’’ he groaned, yanking down his own pants, all the way down, before he ripped Nite’s belt open. When he was done with Nite, none of his clothes would be useable again, he mindlessly thought.

,,I should just had waited for you naked,’’ he mumbled, moaning as Seymore did good on his promise of kissing the sorcerer everywhere. ,,But you like this. You _like_ that I’m your Master, and you’re the servant,’’ he said, jerking forward every time Seymore’s greedy tongue flicked over his nipples.

,, _Yes_ ,’’ he groaned. ,, _By the stars you’re so beautiful_ ,’’ he growled, drunkenly kissing the small man’s arms, collarbone, his navel and even further down to his knees and feet.

,,Mmmh, you really _are_ kissing me everywhere, aren’t you?’’ he sighed delighted. ,,… Kiss my ass,’’ he smirked, turning around. Seymore hesitated, but still watched as Nite spread his pale cheeks. ,,Come on, you said _everywhere_ , and I’m clean. You don’t have to _make out_ with my asshole, if you think that’s too dirty,’’ he scoffed when Seymore kept hesitating.

But by the way his anus eagerly clenched, he knew that Nite hoped he would do _just that_. Seymore had never rimmed him, as he usually wasn’t that into doing so, but hearing the sorcerer whine and watching him shiver and wiggly around when he got closer, teasingly blowing hot air on his awaiting hole, made him all the more tempted.

,,You want a kiss?’’ he jokingly asked the shivering man’s anus, loudly licking his lips. ,,I think I want a little _more_ than _just_ a kiss,’’ he hummed delightfully, as he firmly let his face between the young man’s ass cheeks, hearing him moan and whimper as his lips and tongue cared for him.

It wasn’t actually bad. Seymore knew that Nite was pretty obsessive with being clean for things like these, maybe even more than he himself had been in the past. It didn’t taste of much else than skin, and there was no specific smell, as he had definitely had before. But just like everything else regarding his ass, Nite wiggled and moaned, pleading for him not to stop.

,, _Such a filthy troll,_ ’’ he moaned, drooling as he said so. He spread his ass to make better access, praising him as he felt the tongue slip further inside. ,,You should kiss my ass more often. You have such a skilled _fucking_ mouth,’’ he whined. Seymore could feel that he began to jerk himself off, making the troll droll into the tight entrance.

He turned the small man around, not even caring to warn him before he did so. Nite spread his legs, probably expecting Seymore to get his dick ready, but he dived down between his legs again, looking him straight in the eyes as he kept pleasuring his asshole, spreading him out and seeking down further with his tongue.

,,Your holding up pretty great today,’’ the troll smirked, licking his lips greedily.

,,Yerh, but the second you touch my dick, it’s over,’’ he whined, as Seymore teasingly licked the precum away from his cock. ,,I don’t want to come yet,’’ he whined, but the troll couldn’t resist to tease around ,the stiff member.

,,Why? I’ve seen you come twice in a row, with a little break in between. Besides, you never _stop me_ , just because you have finished,’’ he smiled.

,,But sometimes, when I come, I get too sensitive, so it hurts. Sometimes I’m just not… horny, anymore, after I come. I can still _help you_ , but… You know…’’ he tried, squirming when Seymore playfully ran his finger across his twitching cock.

,,I get it. But I really like that you react this way,’’ he said, smiling gently to the human. ,,I have another idea then,’’ he said, getting up on his knees to remove his shirt, moving to sit across from the small man, a foot on either side of the sorcerer. Nite sat up as well, awaiting what Seymore had in mind. ,,I want to see you masturbate,’’ he smiled, licking his lips as the human blushed.

,,What? Why?’’ he said, watching closely as Seymore began to touch himself, seemingly much more interested in watching him than anything else.

,,You always say I don’t say what I want to do. And right now… I just really want to see how you touch yourself. It’s _fascinating_ to me that you can’t come by yourself. I want to see if I can guide you,’’ he smirked, watching eagerly as Nite reluctantly began to touch himself, his movements similar to the troll’s.

,,Well, I guess you’re right,’’ he mumbled, tightening his grip. ,,The only time I really managed to come, by my own hand… was with you inside me,’’ he panted, looking over at Seymore, who’s hungry gaze never left the pale skin.

,,I see. You tend to be very sensitive around your glans, underneath it specifically. Or you do, when I touch you,’’ he said, still stroking himself. He knew he could easily keep this up, and mostly masturbated so Nite wouldn’t feel weird doing it alone, but it really did interest him, seeing the young man exploring himself.

,,It feels _different_ when you do it,’’ he moaned. ,,My grip is not _as warm_ , and my skin is softer, I think. I can play with you for _a lot longer_ than I can with myself, for some reason,’’ he complained, already slowing down his movements.

,,It tends to be the other way around,’’ the troll chuckled, moving to sit behind him. He placed the small man on his lap, and guided his pale hands, as he himself used to touch him. ,,Your hands _are_ very soft. Try… like _this_ …’’ he panted, feeling more excited by this than just watching. He guided Nite’s smaller hand firmly against underneath his shaft, while he placed his other hand on the young man’s chest. ,,You’re very sensitive here, too. Have you touched yourself other places, when you masturbate?’’ he asked.

,,No… I should only _need_ this,’’ he panted, but felt excitingly shivering in the troll’s embrace.

,,Forget what you _should_ do. Focus on what _feels_ good. Tease yourself. You look _so_ sexy like this. If anything, every time you touch yourself, I only want you _more_ ,’’ he whispered longingly.

,,L-like this?’’ he asked, taking over the movements, his hand slower, but firmer, and his other hand playing with his nipple. ,,It still feels b-better when you do it,’’ he whined.

,,Do you want me to take over?’’ he asked gently, placing Nite differently so he could touch himself as well, without disturbing the sorcerer too much.

,,N-no,’’ he said, shaking his head. ,,You like this? Then I’ll continue,’’ he said, turning his head to kiss the troll again. Although his movements became erratic, his kisses were rather gently and sincere, but none the less exciting for the troll, making him drip onto the bed and moan against the pale lips.

,,You’re so sweet,’’ he grunted, lightly nibbling the top of Nite’s ear. ,,You’re very good to me, Nite. I want you. _By the stars_ , I want you so much,’’ he moaned, squeezing himself harder. Nite was moaning against the troll’s neck, whimpering and making just the same movements as he had done the time he had made himself orgasm with Seymore inside him. The troll leaned down, biting his neck gently, but firm enough to hold him in place. ,,I want to ram your ass _so fucking hard_ , you have no _idea_ how sexy you are,’’ he moaned darkly.

,, _Yes_ , I want that!’’ he shrieked, grinding himself against the troll’s heavy body. ,,T-tell me more. It’s _good_ ,’’ he drooled, closing his eyes shut.

,,The second you come, I want your ass. I want to hear you cry out for more, I want to feel you shiver, but mostly, I want you to come so fucking hard that you can’t _stand_ straight,’’ he groaned, feeling his cock throb impatiently.

,,A-ah! Bite me again! This is… I’m… I’m _so_ close…!’’ he moaned, crying out when Seymore bit him again, but didn’t ask him to stop. The small man shook in his arms, his breath shallow and fast, his voice unsteady and shaking. ,,That’s it! I wanna come, I wanna come…!’’ he blabbered.

,, _Come for me, you little slut_ ,’’ the troll growled darkly, briefly wondering if it would make it easier for Nite to come if he talked so degradingly to him, or if he wouldn’t like that at all. He didn’t want to risk breaking his concentration. ,, _Yes_ , come for me. Be my _good_ boy,’’ he hummed, mindlessly claiming him as his own.

,, _Yes_ , _Seymore!_ ’’ he moaned, jerking forward as the troll bit down again. He cried out his orgasm, shooting all over the bed in the process. When Seymore finally released him from his teeth, the pale skin was bruised.

,, _Fuck_ ,’’ he mumbled, both proud and regretful of the red mark on the skin. But Nite didn’t notice that, as he fell tiredly against the troll, panting and still shivering.

,,That was… _so weird_ ,’’ he laughed, his breath still unsteady. ,,My bed is a _mess_ ,’’ he said, the chuckle still present in his voice, as he rolled down on the bed, flat on his stomach.

,,Yerh? It looked pretty great from where I was,’’ he said gently, slightly caressing the sorcerer’s neck. ,,I’m sorry… I bit too hard…’’ he mumbled.

,,It’s okay. It didn’t really hurt that much,’’ he shrugged, his face still deep into the mattress. ,,It still feels better when you make me come. I’m also unsure if this counts as ‘coming by myself’. I mean… I don’t think it had been as easy without y-,’’ he began, but stopped when he felt the troll move around behind him.

,,Is that so? Then I hope _this_ will make up for it,’’ he said, drooling as he rimmed the young man again. He was a lot sloppier this time, mainly just focusing on getting him nice and wet.

,, _Lord almighty_ , give me a _warning!_ ’’ he moaned.

,,I _did_. Didn’t you hear me when I said I wanted to fuck you the _second_ you’d come?’’ he purred, getting up to place himself better. Nite was still flat on his stomach, and the troll made it impossible for him to move around, as he leaned much of his weight on his small frame.

,,Yes but… I didn’t think… a-ah, that you’ve meant it,’’ he panted as Seymore rather forcefully pushed inside of him.

,,Woah, it’s going in _so_ smoothly,’’ he teased, holding the small man’s arms in place as he began to fuck him.

,,Don’t say _that!_ ’’ he whined. ,,By _Am_ you’re hard today…’’ he moaned.

,,That’s so inappropriate to say _today_ of all days,’’ the troll chuckled darkly. ,,I might be tempted to rim you more often, if it makes it _this_ easy,’’ he mumbled, kissing the sorcerer’s back as he kept fucking him faster.

,,Seymore, _please_ … You’re… very _rough_ , today,’’ he whined. He seemed surprised when they troll stopped mid motion, slowly pulling out.

,,I’m sorry. I got carried away. I can stop, if it hurts?’’ he said gently.

,,What? _No!_ Don’t _stop!_ ’’ he howled, wiggling in the troll’s grip. ,,Be sure, that you’ll _know_ , without a _doubt_ when I want you to pull out!’’ he said sternly. ,,Now put that damn dick into me again!’’ he said through gritted teeth.

,,… As you wish,’’ he smiled, pushing in a lot faster than he usually did. Even if it surprised the small man, he didn’t stop him, only drooling as he begged for more. ,,You have no _idea_ how fucking good your ass feels,’’ he moaned, gently biting Nite’s neck again.

,,This is _so much_ better,’’ he moaned, still trapped underneath the older man. ,,M-more… A little… Just a little _more!_ ’’ he pleaded, shrieking when Seymore pushed further inside. ,,Is… Is it all the way in?’’ he asked hopefully.

,,No. Don’t worry about stuff like that, Nite. It’s more than _enough_ to be _fucking_ amazing,’’ he hummed, not as careful as he usually was. His body took over and he felt _powerful_ every time the small man moaned, and _beautiful_ listening to the stars on his ears, tingling mesmerizing.

,,But I want _all_ of it…’’ he whined. The troll moved his hands, grabbing around the sorcerer’s waist, still holding him firmly in place as he enjoyed every second of his cock being squeezed this tightly.

,,You’re so greedy,’’ he panted heavily. ,,But I am, too…’’ he said, pushing in further, just a tad. ,,Relax. Spread yourself for me. _By the stars_ , I’m _really_ deep inside…’’ he groaned. Nite did as told, getting slightly up on his knees and spreading his pleading asshole for the troll, whining every time he pushed further inside. ,,You’re so good to me. I’m such a lucky troll,’’ he said, drooling on the small man’s shoulder.

,,Ngh, not so fast… I’m still… _so_ sensitive…’’ he moaned, his fingers digging into his own ass cheeks, leaving red marks on the pale skin.

,,I can _feel_ that,’’ he moaned delightfully. ,,You’re _shaking_. And even then, you want _more_ ,’’ he chuckled darkly, fucking him slower, but just as deep. ,,I’ve mostly been with troll women who could take _all_ of it. But that’s because they’re so much _bigger_ than me,’’ he mumbled. ,,You’re _amazing_ , Nite. I wish I could make you come, just by this,’’ he whispered longingly.

,,Well then don’t _stop_ ,’’ he said, hiding his face in the mattress. Seymore kept the pace steady, not trying to break the small man, but loving it every time he whiningly looked behind him to catch the troll’s gaze.

,,Oh believe me. I can keep doing this for _hours_ , if you wanted me to,’’ he smirked, reaching underneath the sorcerer to play with his hard nipples.

,,I _hardly_ believe that,’’ Nite scoffed, the best he could in his giving situation. ,,Wasn’t _I_ supposed to be in control?’’ he whined again, only an echo of his prier statement.

,,You are. Guide me. Tell me what you want. Be specific, be _demanding_. Tell me I’m a _bad_ troll and what I need to do, to make it up to you,’’ he panted, leaning down to kiss the small man’s neck. ,,My _pleasure_ is to make you come. My _purpose_ is _you_ ,’’ he whispered, not even sure that Nite noticed his words.

,,… Go slower… Yes, like that. Still deep, all the way out, and as far in as it goes,’’ he panted, hiding his face as the wet, slick noises filled the room. ,,Touch me… _Not my dick_ … Fucking… Mmmh, my ass, grab it,’’ he said, still trying to hide his face, but he knew that Seymore heard every word of what he said. ,,Look at my ass as you fuck me. It’s getting all abused, but that turns you on, doesn’t it? I can feel you twist, too, you know. Horny troll,’’ he panted, smirking against the sheets, undoubtably.

,,You look fucking amazing,’’ he said, straightening up to take a better look as he fucked the man underneath him. ,,… Do you ever finger yourself?’’ he said, slightly shivering just by asking such question, but the thought of the young man playing with his hole, horny and impatient to be filled was almost _too much_ for him.

,,Only to lube myself up,’’ he said.

,, _That’s_ a show I would love to see,’’ he admitted, gently slapping his dick against Nite’s hole before he pushed inside him again. ,,Let me just adjust you a little…’’ he mumbled, reaching his hands around the sorcerer’s waist, lifting him ever so slightly, in a way that made the sheets underneath them able to stimulate Nite’s hard cock, while the troll slowly, but firmly fucked his ass.

,,… _Fuck…_ ’’ he mumbled. Seymore could see he let his hands run down his chest, playing with his own nipples as the troll fucked him.

Seymore kept his promise. While their sessions normally weren’t short-lived, they rarely went for more than half an hour. At this point, from Seymore had entered the bedroom, that mark had been passed long ago. But even if he felt the pressure build wonderfully, he would twist and turn himself so he would be able to hold up even longer. While he normally didn’t feel a need to keep going for hours on end, he felt immensely arousal by the whole situation, and as long as Nite didn’t stop him, he felt no concern as he continued.

Nite seemed to concentrate more, not as talkative, but just as loud with his moans. He didn’t touch his own cock, but he would touch different places on his body, besides his nipples, like his ass and even his feet, as he bended his legs, surprisingly flexible.

The troll kissed and nibbled on the sorcerer’s back, quietly praising him as he did so. It felt good; it felt freeing. Like telling him how graceful he was, or how much he admired the pale skin. Finally telling him how healing it felt to be around him, and hearing how flustered and ecstatic it made the small man.

,,And when you look at me,’’ he said, leaning even further down, placing his cheek against Nite’s, ,,… your eyes are _so_ beautiful,’’ he whispered, feeling the pressure build again. ,,The _way_ you look at me… That’s what I _need_ … You make me feel _so_ good…’’ he grunted, trying to stifle his own moans just a tad.

,,You _are_ good,’’ he panted. ,,You’re the _best_. Don’t stop, _please_ don’t stop,’’ he begged, turning as much as he could to kiss the troll, missing his lips on his own. ,,You’re _my_ purpose,’’ he whispered, crying out as Seymore pushed harder again, a little faster and more erratic.

,,Look at me,’’ he begged, turning the small man slightly, not slowing down the slightest. When Nite looked at him like this, his faced flushed and eyes glossy, lips bruised and slightly swollen, it was hard to think straight. He wanted him to come _so badly_ , but it also became harder to hold back himself. ,,So, _so_ beautiful,’’ he mumbled again, letting his tongue run across the small, whimpering man’s lips, as he held his face so he couldn’t turn away.

,,I’m gonna be so _sore_ ,’’ he complained, biting his lip to drown out his own moans. ,,It’s _so good_ … I feel _so_ fucking full,’’ he whined.

,,If you say lewd stuff like that, I might not be able to keep my promise,’’ he panted, chuckling slightly. ,,You like when I fuck you from behind?’’ Nite nodded eagerly, still looking at the troll.

,,I-I feel… I feel like _a dirty boy_ , like this…’’ he said, almost shyly, his confidence replaced with his own drunkenly lust.

,, _Fuck…_ ’’ he panted, closing his eyes to keep himself in check. He wanted to _ram_ inside Nite when he said things like these.

,,… You like when I talk like that?’’ he smiled, and the troll nodded. ,,… _Good_ … I want to be your _good boy_ … I want my pretty troll to make me _come_ …’’ he whined, spreading his ass more, whimpering as Seymore slammed a little harder against him. When the troll tried to reach down underneath the human to touch his cock, Nite shook his head. ,,You make me come _just like this_ or neither of us are going to come at all. You got that?’’ he moaned, trying to look sternly at the troll.

,, _Yes_ ,’’ he whimpered, feeling his face flush. He repositioned Nite again, pressing his body down towards the mattress, making sure that the sheets would rub against Nite’s cock when he pushed against him. And it _did_. As soon as he pulled out, he would slam against the small man, making him shriek the first few times he did so. He shook and twisted as Seymore sped up, mumbling unrecognizable words as he did so. ,,I can’t _wait_ to fill you up, so _fucking_ deep…’’ he panted, scraping his nails across the sorcerer’s ass cheeks.

,, _Seymore_ ,’’ he whined, pushing against the touch himself. ,,You’re so _rough_ ,’’ he said again. ,,I want to come for you… Be _rough_ … _Use_ my sorry ass, like the dirty boy I _am…!_ ’’ he moaned, rubbing against the sheets more vigorously now.

,, _My little fuck-toy,_ ’’ he growled, biting Nite’s neck again. ,, _I’m gonna give you such an earth-shattering orgasm, you’ll_ never _forget,_ ’’ he growled, biting even harder down.

,,T-that’s it! F-fill me up, you _dirty_ beast!’’ he shrieked, covering his face in the sheets, cursing loudly as his body shook and jerked violently as he came. The troll grabbed around him to hold him firmly down, finally letting the orgasm run through his body, hearing the small man whine as he came deep inside of him. He didn’t pull out, but slowly stopped moving, just panting delightedly, as his body felt warm and relaxed by the act.

,,That was… _truly_ amazing…’’ he said slowly, leaning down to kiss each bitemark he had made in the process. He felt his cock get soft, but still didn’t pull out, just enjoying the feeling of closeness with the human.

,,… I’m lying in a pool of my own cum…’’ Nite suddenly said, giggling at the thought. ,,I can’t feel my legs… I don’t even think I can _walk_ anymore,’’ he panted, slowly moving to lay down again. He fell to his side, whimpering as the troll slowly pulled out of his gaping ass. ,,I don’t even want to _think_ about how _raw_ my ass is now…’’

Seymore kissed him gently, before he spread the small man’s legs, eyeing the still pulsating hole. He licked his lips, before reaching down to clean his mess, with Nite’s protest soon stopping as he felt the warm, soft tongue licking his insides, slurping away in his own cum.

,, _Gentle_ , please,’’ he begged, looking down at the amber eyes that hungrily observed him. Although Seymore was more than satisfied, it was hard to let go of his lusting after the small man. Nite’s asshole had loosened up, easy to put his tongue into, and the sorcerer’s reactions made him warm and tingly all anew.

When he stopped, he laid back down beside sorcerer. His face was still messy, and his whole body was covered in sweat, but that didn’t seem to bother the small man, as he reached up to kiss the troll, gently rubbing his chest against Seymore’s damp skin.

,, _Filthy_ ,’’ Nite smirked, but kissing him nevertheless.

,,Mmmh, I’m a very lucky, very _filthy_ troll,’’ he hummed, relaxing into the soft bed. ,,I can’t imagine a better way to celebrate that the light is coming back, than laying here with you,’’ he said softly, watching as the sorcerer lit up.

,,… Me too,’’ he said shyly, shortly biting his lip. His face was so close to the troll’s, and Seymore could see every ounce of insecurity come back to him. ,,… I lo-,’’ he began, but was cut off when Seymore gently leaned in, holding around the small man as he kissed him, so longingly that it almost hurt.

He couldn’t bear to hear the words again. He couldn’t say them himself, but just as he had promised, he would show him, as well as he could, that Nite was _indeed_ his purpose, if not in general, then today. The sorcerer seemed satisfied when he gently pulled away, smiling and relaxing into the troll’s embrace.

,,Thank you,’’ he whispered, calm in the troll’s arms, that gently held him close while their breaths steadied. ,,Are you going to get persistent, that we need to take a shower now?’’ he asked playfully, but Seymore shook his head.

,,You’re in control, remember? If you want to just lay here, and kiss for a while… then I’m happy to oblige,’’ he said gently. ,,The food is ready, we can eat whenever you get hungry. And the day is still young. As long as you’re not _bothered_ by how clammy I am… then I don’t mind being here, with you, for as long as you want to,’’ he smiled, his amber eyes sparkling in the dim light.

,,Really?’’ he chuckled, leaning in to kiss him again. ,,I wish you told me about this before. Not because of staying in bed after sex, but because… You’ve _missed_ this, right?’’ he asked softly.

,,… Yes, but… It’s hard to explain. I’ve missed this, but the only experience I’ve had like this was with my ex… It’s hard to say if I missed… _him_ , or the things we did…’’ he said slowly, still smiling to the man in his arms.

,,… Do you still miss him?’’ he asked, his voice small as he looked up at the troll. Seymore hesitated for a moment, before he smiled again.

,,Not when I’m here, with you,’’ he said, kissing the small man’s forehead. ,,And not that much in general. It was a long time ago,’’ he shrugged.

,, _Good_ ,’’ he smiled, satisfied with the answer.

,,… I’m not with you, Nite, to forget about him… You don’t have to think you have some responsibility to _heal_ me, you don’t,’’ he said concerned.

,,No, I _know_ , but… I… I want to _be_ your purpose… Not… Not just today, but always… And I _know_ you say you don’t want that, and I’m not trying to be pushy but… I want to be whatever _he_ was, to you, because…’’ His voice faded, dying out and he hid his face against the troll’s chest. Seymore didn’t pull away, he just gently caressed the small man’s back.

,,… You’re very kind to me. You’re the one I’ve been with, who wanted to please _me_ , the most. Wanting to learn about my body, and being flexible with me. I’m very grateful for that, even if I know it doesn’t always feel like that…’’ he said slowly.

,,… I wish we could just run away from everything. _Leave_ this _damned_ place, and start up from scratch…’’ he mumbled.

,,I’m pretty sure your mother would find you…’’ he said. ,,I don’t think… that would be wise, either. You’ve lived in a _castle_ your whole life. The world out there is very different, from this comfortable bed and three meals a day,’’ he said, sighing slightly.

,,… But… would you follow me? If I ever left, not now, but… _at some point_ … would you go with me?’’ he asked slowly, catching the troll’s gaze. Nite’s eyes were big and sincere, holding so many promises by the simple question. But he didn’t know how to answer.

,,… Where would we go?’’ he asked instead.

,,Where ever we _want_ to go,’’ he chuckled. ,,We can stay in the West, or flee to some other place, I don’t care. As long as you’re _with me_ ,’’ he said longingly.

,,… It’s… It’s a nice fantasy,’’ he admitted, smiling apologetic. Nite didn’t seem as satisfied with this, but he looked more determined than anything.

,,I want to give you _the whole world_ ,’’ he said, sitting up, looking down at the blushing troll.

,,I don’t want the world,’’ he chuckled shyly. ,,I just want to… I don’t know, live some quite life, somewhere far away from everything. Not… unlike this, actually…’’ he said slowly. ,,The thing is, Nite… Even if I said, that I wanted to go with you… If I said all the right things… It wouldn’t change all the things, that makes it all so difficult…’’ he said, sitting up as well.

,,… I know…’’ he sighed. ,,But if I’m being honest… I know I don’t know _the world out there_ , but… I feel like you’re making this more difficult than it has to be… In here, there’s no _taboos_ , you’re _safe_ ,’’ he said without looking at the troll.

,,I want _you_ to _stay_ safe,’’ he said gently. ,,I care too much about you, I don’t want to ruin your life if your mother throws you out, without any means to provide for yourself… I’m far from rich, I wouldn’t be able to take care of both of us for that long,’’ he said. Nite was breathing heavily again.

,,But why is it that you draw the line with _feelings_ when sex _isn’t_ that big of a problem for you?’’ he huffed.

,,… I didn’t think… that you would ever _really_ fall for me… I mean, I _knew_ it was a risk, but… I thought, for a long time, that you just wanted release, and…’’ he tried, as he moved behind the small man. His body felt cold. ,,You know… I want you to _have_ the whole world. I want you to grow up and do _great_ things, and make this world _just_ as wonderful as you’ve read in those books,’’ he whispered, wrapping his arms around the sorcerer.

,,I don’t want a world, where you’re not mine,’’ he said firmly.

,,I’m not anyone’s, Nite,’’ he said, warningly calmly.

,,I didn’t mean it like _that_ ,’’ he said, blushing slightly. ,,… Do you think my feelings are complicated?’’ he asked quietly.

,, _No_. But… I think _my_ feelings are…’’ he said, leaning down to kiss the young man’s shoulder.

,,I don’t think your feelings are complicated,’’ he whispered. ,,I think you’re scared. You’re scared what my mother will do, you’re scared what the world will say… You’re scared that I’ll leave you, as soon as I’m outside…’’ he said, looking back at the troll. ,,But I _won’t_. I don’t _need_ to meet other people, to _know_ that you’re-.’’

,,You’re stubborn,’’ Seymore interrupted. It startled the small man, so he didn’t continue. ,,… And you’re _right_. You claim to not know how to read people, but I think you do that very well, with me, at least. I _am_ scared,’’ he said slowly. ,,You’re too young to be so sure of this. I admire you trust, even after everything you’ve gone through. I am… not so trusting, anymore,’’ he said slowly.

,,If you could _just-_ ,’’ he tried, but Seymore interrupted him again:

,,No.’’ He sighed heavily, as he looked down at the stern looking man in his arms. Nite pouted and made the troll chuckle, irritating the sorcerer even more. ,,… I want to enjoy _every_ moment I have with you. I want to hold and support you, and I want to listen to whatever you have on your mind… But I cannot give you what you want. I’ll give as much as I can, if… If you still want that…’’ he said slowly, hugging Nite tightly.

,,… Like today?’’ he asked, his voice small. Seymore nodded against his neck. ,,… I want that very much,’’ he smiled softly. ,,One last question.’’

,,Yes?’’ he said gently.

,,… You do _like_ me, right?’’ he whispered, looking rather intensely at the troll. Seymore hesitated for a moment, before he leaned down to kiss him again.

,,I do. I like a lot of things about you. You’re very smart, and even if you probably won’t admit it, you care _a lot_ about the few people around you. I see the scars the world has left on your soul… And I want you to know… that regardless of what happens, now or in the future… I want to try to help you. You’re not alone, anymore,’’ he said caringly. ,,You’re my best friend. The best friend I ever had. I know that’s not the _title_ you want, but… friendship is much more special, than just random sex. You’re nothing random, if anything… you _are_ my purpose,’’ he whispered.

Nite leaned into the troll’s embrace, humming satisfied with the answer. He was beautiful like this, Seymore thought, so happy and calm. He deserved so much more than just a troll, in his opinion, but as often before, Seymore was selfish. He _wanted_ Nite. Maybe he wasn’t _in love_ , as Nite put it, but he _needed_ him, he cared for him and he wanted him, as he rarely had done with other people before.

,,… I love you,’’ Nite said, his light body shaking as he spoke. ,,… And I want you to know… that you _are_ loveable. I don’t _know_ what happened, if you’ve always been like this, but… You make me feel better. Like I want to _be better_ , but also like I’m… Like I’m already _enough_ …’’ he said.

Seymore gently moved Nite’s face, so they looked at each other again. It was hard for him to deny the small man the words, he so desperately longed for, but he couldn’t figure out how to do it in a way that wouldn’t destroy them later on. He kissed him, gentle and sweet, and for as long as the small man had his thin arms around him.

,,I know. I _feel_ very loved,’’ he smiled, kissing him again. ,,And you’re _more_ than enough, Nite.’’

The crystals burned out, but Nite didn’t notice. They sat in the dim room, kissing and whispering about just about everything for hours underneath the blanket.

And once again, more than anything he wanted to stay here, with the human he so vigorously cared for, but that he didn’t dare to love. But if even _Nite_ could tell that Seymore felt so strongly for him, who was he to think that he could fool Willa, when time would come?


	10. 10) Countdown

,,So, that’s why,’’ Nite concluded, as Seymore hang the clothes up for drying.

,,Then, wouldn’t it had been _a lot_ easier for her to have a small house, instead of a giant castle?’’ he said. Seymore had often wondered why the Madam didn’t use the self-cleaning bubbles all over the castle, even if she had to reactivate the magic every so often, but Nite had explained that even very powerful sorcerers had limited magic energy.

,,Well, she wanted a castle,’’ he shrugged. ,,It took her _years_ to fully build it. That’s why some parts look so old and wonky. Like where I live,’’ he said.

,,That makes sense…’’ he said. ,,Magic is really _complicated_. I mean… It can do almost anything, right? Why isn’t there a spell that defies the ‘rule of reactivating’?’’ he asked.

,,Because of over-exhaustion. Think of it as a pitcher: When it’s full, you can have a cup of water. But then, you use that pitcher to water the crops. You can build something that’ll keep watering the crops, with the water from the pitcher, but even if you put water back in the pitcher every once a while, there’s a risk of emptying the pitcher completely. That’ll mess up the crops, and you can’t have a cup of water, either,’’ he said calmly.

,,There’s still so many things I don’t understand,’’ he admitted. ,,You said it was an _easy_ spell, right? But does that mean it takes less magic?’’ he asked.

,,Well, that depends. For this specific spell, then no. Spell’s we learn takes more magic, than magic we’re born with,’’ he said.

,,You talked about that before,’’ he noted, finishing up his chores. ,,You’re natural abilities, right?’’

,,Yerh. It differs from race to race what that would cover. And sometimes from region to region. Like, elves, as an example. Born with great magic, but Northern elves are born with far more magic abilities than the ones from the Center Isles. It also depends on your parents. My powers can, potentially, be greater than my mother’s, because I’m _born_ with magic, and because parents pass down essence and abilities from generation to generation,’’ he said, following the troll as he went into the hallway, ready to prepare lunch for them.

,,It sounds simple,’’ he sighed, ,,but the concept is just… _abstract_ , in a way. I mean… why don’t people just _summon gold_ or food for people around the world? Why don’t people in need try to learn magic? Or _find_ people with magic?’’

,,Because of the rules,’’ he said. ,,If you study magic, you’ll know the rules, at some point. But if you just play around with magic, you’ll probably first learn about it when you break them. No one will punish a kid that summons gold, if it’s their first time. But if they keep doing it? Then they’ll be in trouble,’’ he shrugged.

,,Is that because the magic is tracked? In that book, with everyone in it?’’ he asked.

,,No, this is another ‘book’, so to speak. It’s more like a machine, that detects that kind of magic that has been deemed unlawful. And then people get reported to _the Protectors_ ,’’ he said, sitting down on the kitchen counter as Seymore began to cut potatoes and carrots. ,,But the Protectors _would_ have access to the book. As far as I know, Ebneus doesn’t _have_ it, but I’m pretty sure he’s working with the different rulers of the realms.’’ Seymore stopped cutting for a moment, before he looked back at Nite.

,,Ebneus… I’ve heard that before…’’ he said slowly.

,,Well, you _should_ have. He is the founder of the Protectors of Aenamo. I think he’s still working at the Academy?’’ he said unsurely. ,,He’s a very powerful sorcerer. Maybe the strongest in the entire realm? Or maybe he was, at some point,’’ he shrugged. ,,He’s like, the symbol of peace throughout Aenamo.’’

,,Yerh, I’ve heard about him before,’’ he said, almost excitedly. ,,Just before I got here. What was it? A woman I met, the one who told me about the Greenlight castle… She described your mother as ‘ _almost as powerful as Rufus Ebneus_ ’,’’ he said hastily. Nite laughed, but stopped when he noticed how down Seymore seemed to be by this.

,,I didn’t laugh _at you_ ,’’ he said apologetic. ,,I laugh because that’s _insane_. I _know_ my mother… or… Well, I know of her _magic_. But more importantly, I know about her _upbringing_. Ebneus was born from a powerful line of sorcerer’s, having elf-blood in his line, but also ancestors of merfolk, dwarfs, and it’s even rumored that his great, great grandfather was part dragon. My mother can _in no way_ be a match for him,’’ he scoffed. ,,… Unless she fiddled with black magic, of course…’’ he suddenly said, seemingly wondering if this could be the case.

,,What _is_ Ebneus? What species, I mean?’’ Seymore asked, not interested in thinking about black magic. _Everyone_ feared black magic, not only trolls. It was hard enough for him to focus on regular magic at this point. The less he thought about black, destructive magic, the better.

,,… He’s actually mostly human, I think. It’s hard to say, because he has altered his appearance so much, and we only have pictures of his father,’’ he said slowly.

,,Altering his appearance? Is that common?’’ Seymore asked, returning to chopping the vegetables, but Nite caught the interested tone in his voice.

,,No, not really. It can be complicated and easily go wrong, if you’re not careful. But in theory, you can change just about anything; your species, your age, your gender…’’ he shrugged. ,,… I could cover up your scars, but I wouldn’t be able to keep it up for _days_. That’s as far as my abilities goes,’’ he said, trying to catch the troll’s gaze.

,,Oh, I’m not concerned about my scars,’’ he chuckled.

,,Then what?’’ he asked curiously.

,,… Well, you know how I feel about magic. I wouldn’t want to go through with it, but I… I sometimes miss the way I looked when I was in my twenties,’’ he shrugged. ,,I don’t _hate_ the way I look, but I’m… Well, I might be a little superficial. I don’t look anything like I would want to, if I could, without consequences, choose for myself,’’ he said, feeling his cheeks heat up. Nite was quite for a while, just looking at the troll, before he smiled.

,,I like the way you look. I wouldn’t change anything,’’ he smiled, fiddling nervously with his hands. ,,You’re very curious today. You ask a lot of questions, I mean,’’ he said.

,,I’m sorry. I know it must all seem so simple and banal for you, but I really _want_ to understand it,’’ he said gently.

,,What? No don’t _apologize_ for that, silly!’’ he chuckled. ,,… My mother _always_ scolds me if I ask too many questions. ‘I should _read_ about it’, she says. I can’t say the same to you, because many books a written in elvish, on matters like these,’’ he said. ,,Besides… I _want_ to tell you about _everything_. But magic is like _science_. It’s big and complicated, and I don’t want to scare or bore you, or overwhelm you with too much information at once,’’ he said enthusiastically. ,,I’m so _happy_ that you ask about it,’’ he smiled.

Seymore smiled back, before he continued with lunch. He liked the way the mahogany eyes sparkled every time he taught him like this. It had been a simple question, he thought; Why would Willa even _have_ staff, if she could take care of the castle herself? But as everything else involving magic, it wasn’t as cut-and-dry for him, as he had expected.

,,So, what are we having?’’ Nite asked, a little nervous as he looked at the boiling pot.

,,Just some vegetables with some fish. We got some pretty exciting things, considering the time of year, so there’s some root vegetables I haven’t seen since I was a kid,’’ he chuckled, as he began to plate the fish up.

,,Great…’’ he said slowly. Nite still wasn’t a big fan of most of their meals, but he was polite enough to at least try to eat them. As an exchange, Seymore ate with him at every meal now, besides breakfast, as they still didn’t wake up at the same time.

,,It’s okay, you tend to like potatoes, so I made that too,’’ he smiled gently. ,,Have you _always_ felt like this, with your food?’’ he asked. He nodded apologetic.

,,Well, I don’t _hate_ your cooking. I just don’t… I don’t really like to eat, I guess. There’s a lot of smells and textures that sets me off, more than flavors, I think. I’m not _starving_ , I can’t remember I’ve ever really felt _hungry_ ,’’ he shrugged. ,,I’ve eaten more in these past months you’ve been _here_ , than I ever did before, and I still don’t gain any weight. So, I guess I’m just… thin?’’ he said slowly, lifting up his sweater to look at his flat stomach.

Seymore often wondered if Nite had been malnourished before, but as the months had passed, and he hadn’t gained any weight, he guessed that wasn’t the case. But the sorcerer’s relationship with food piqued the troll’s interest, as it didn’t seem to strike him as normal. He had often heard the Madam talk about how hungry she was, and for all that he knew, most species had growth-spurts where they experienced great hunger. He couldn’t imagine that humans didn’t, in some way or another.

,,But you like baked goods,’’ Seymore concluded, and Nite nodded ecstatic again. ,,And I like to bake. I’ll keep that in mind, when your mother arrives home,’’ he smiled.

,,Don’t remind me,’’ he scoffed. ,,She didn’t write for Winter Solstice. She _rarely_ writes at _all_ , now. I wouldn’t be surprised if she forgot my _birthday_ all together,’’ he said irritated. The troll gently leaned against the small man, caressing his back and keeping him close to his embrace.

,,I’m here. And I remember,’’ he promised, feeling the sorcerer’s arms around him. ,,It’s your _16 birthday_ , Nite. What do you want to do? I want to make it special,’’ he smiled gently, as he took the plates to the dining area.

,,I don’t know,’’ he shrugged, sitting down to eat. ,,… I… I really want to go _outside_ , but…’’ he said slowly.

,,Well, we _can_ go outside. We just can’t _leave_ the property,’’ he said. ,,I’ve _seen_ you been outside before.’’

,,Yes but… that was with my mother… And I’m not sure if she placed a spell on me when we went outside, or if the ground around the castle is covered, too…’’ he said.

,,Can you make the spell yourself?’’ he asked, smiling as Nite’s face lit up.

,,I _can!_ And then we could go even _further!_ ’’ he said smiling.

,,That’s… not what I meant…’’ Seymore said slowly. ,,I mean… outside the castle is _fine_ , but… What if she has some sort of tracker on you? Or on me? What if the spell doesn’t work correctly? There’re _so_ many things that could go wrong…’’ he said apologetically.

,,You worry too much,’’ he scoffed. ,,Come _on_ Seymore! Let’s go to a town, there must be nearby towns on close-by islands,’’ he said smiling. ,,It’s for my _birthday_. _Please!_ ’’ he begged.

,,We’re on _Mokar_ , Nite. The trip from here to the gateway is _hours_ _long_ ,’’ he said concerned. ,,You haven’t traveled before, and there’s no way to get there, besides foot. I can’t carry you _all the way_ , either.’’ Nite seemed discouraged, as he began eating his fish. ,,I want you to have a nice day. But… I also need to be realistic…’’ he said slowly.

,,I know,’’ he said slowly. ,,… Then I don’t want anything special…’’ he said, quickly finishing his food without another word. He left Seymore before the troll had had a chance to talk it out further, but he didn’t try to stop him. Nite’s temper still got out of hand from time to time, and it was easier for both of them if the young man left for a while, and they talked it out later.

He would like if they could talk it through, but he also understood why it made Nite so emotional. After all, this would be his first birthday without his mother, and even if they didn’t always have the nicest relationship, he knew that the young man still needed her guidance. He also understood why it meant so much for him to _go out_ with Seymore, as he still every so often tried to push their relation further.

Seymore didn’t really mind that, anymore. As he had promised, he gave Nite as much of his care and attention as he could. He never said _I love you_ , but it was painfully obvious, even for himself, that he cared far too much about the sorcerer to just call it some sort of fling. He enjoyed their time together, _even_ when they ate together, when Nite taught him about magic, and when Seymore read for him, all sorts of books Nite would never have cared for, if it wasn’t Seymore who read them for him.

It felt simple, most of the time. Nite was still Nite, prone to moodiness and short-tempered outburst, and Seymore was still as worrying and cautious as ever. But they worked together pretty well, he thought.

He really _did_ want to make Nite’s birthday something special. The Madam rarely celebrated her own birthday anymore, but she and Nite at least tried to act civil through this day. He wondered how she would have celebrated him, had she been home, but he wasn’t sure she would have done anything special, even if it was his 16th birthday.

Seymore didn’t snoop around, he told himself. But he had visited the secret library with Nite multiple times at this point, and he had tried to mimic the sorcerer’s moves at the hidden entrance. He had tried a couple of times, but when it finally worked, he had been too nervous to continue inside, and hoped so dearly that the door would close on its own again.

But when he finally got the courage to explore, he didn’t walk to the library. He wondered if the Madam would have something _special_ , that he could maybe use to surprise Nite. Maybe something that would protect him outside, or something that could make them travel faster? He knew it was wrong, _and dangerous_ , but he just really wanted to see Nite smile.

He didn’t understand the scriptures on the flacons, and every room he went into possessed strange smells or weird noises. He found belts that moved on their own, or capes in different, soft materials, but he didn’t know what they were for or if they were useful.

,,… What are you doing?’’ Nite’s voice felt loud and intrusive contrasting with the bubbles and melodic tunes around him. He turned around, guilty as charged, nervous that Nite would be mad at him for being here.

,,Forgive me… I wanted to… see if I could find something…’’ he tried, feeling his breath steady as he overcame the surprise. ,,I… I _really_ want to take you out on your birthday, Nite. It doesn’t even have to be _a town_ , there’s so many _beautiful_ places around in the West. But everything is so far away,’’ he explained. ,,But I can’t _read_ any of this. I wanted to find something… that could maybe teleport us, or something…’’ he said flustered, as Nite’s eyes grew wider.

He didn’t say anything at first, but his smile was as wide as Seymore only could had hoped. He slowly grabbed the troll’s hands in his, getting close to the taller man. The green light in the hallway made his skin look sickly, but Nite had never seen more content.

,,So… _what you’re telling me_ , is that my fearful troll tried to find something _magical_ , to solve a problem?’’ he chuckled, leaning up to kiss him. ,,You’re not as goody-two-shoes as I’ve expected, you know that? I like that,’’ he smiled playfully.

,,I wouldn’t… I wouldn’t _steal_ anything, just simply… _burrow_ …’’ he tried, but Nite kept giggling.

,,It’s alright, Seymore. It’s best not to move anything from here, but I like the way you think,’’ he smirked. ,,I saw you sneaking around, and I wondered what you were up to,’’ he explained, as to why he was in the corridors himself. ,,We don’t need to go that far. I still want to get outside. But just outside the castle is fine, too,’’ he said, gently pulling the troll with him.

,,I really _do_ want to make your day special…’’ he tried again, getting pulled out of the forbidden corridors as the entrance closed behind him. ,,If there’s _anything_ , I would…’’ he said, but Nite cut him off.

,, _Why_ is it such a big deal for you, just because I’m getting 16? I mean… I _guess_ I understand that it’s a big thing to be considered an adult, but… _come on_ , Seymore. What can happen that day, that makes me more of an adult, than I am right now?’’ he said, crossing his arms.

,,… It’s… It’s a day I want you to remember, _fondly_. I’ve never met anyone who didn’t have some _magical_ story, some way or another, about the day they became adults. It doesn’t have to be big or fancy, but I want you to remember your day. I want to make it special, for you, _with_ you. You always do so much to make days special for me,’’ he said gently, cupping the small man’s cheek. Nite blushed, but didn’t move from the gentle touch.

,,… It’s not a big deal,’’ he shrugged. ,,I just… I want to spend my day _with you_. I don’t need… anything else,’’ he said, kissing the palm of the troll’s big hand. ,,… Was you own day everything you’ve wanted?’’ he asked instead. Seymore smiled fondly, as he took the sorcerer’s hand, walking down the long hallways with their fingers curled together.

,,It was, actually. For trolls, 16 is our last day as _children_. We’re legally adults, but… _as you keep reminding me_ , we’re teenagers through most of our twenties and thirties, and even after that. For me, I celebrated with my brothers. We were off, chasing chickens…’’ he began, when Nite stopped him again.

,, _Chasing chickens?_ ’’ he asked bewildered. ,,You… You don’t really strike me as the type that likes to chase chickens,’’ he corrected, when Seymore chuckled.

,,I don’t. But, my brothers wanted to do that with me. It was one of the few moments, where they really tried to slow down so I could keep up. But my fond memories are not from chasing chickens, it’s from later that day, when my youngest brother hurt his foot so bad that we needed to go to a hospital, not far from the Center Isles,’’ he explained.

,,… That’s… a _weird_ fond memory,’’ Nite chuckled nervously.

,,Oh, no, it’s not that he got _hurt_ I liked,’’ Seymore said, rounding a corner. A small living room, with a few tables and comfortable chairs seemed inviting in the dim light, as Nite quietly cast some spell to lit the flame in a candelabra above them. Seymore sat down, happily smiling with the small man on his lap. ,,While my oldest brother helped our youngest brother, I looked around the park. It wasn’t that far from the hospital, and there was some outdoor theater performing that day,’’ he said, leaning back.

,,The same troupe as R-… As your ex?’’ he asked slowly, but Seymore shook his head.

,,No… Ruvaen’s troupe performed in many aspects; concerts, acropachy, amateur theater, poetry… These were a theater troupe, exclusively. They were pretty good. But at some point, they wanted some of the spectators to get up on stage, and my brother pushed me to get up there,’’ he said, closing his eyes. ,,And it was… _amazing_ ,’’ he smiled. ,,I was so shy. I wouldn’t have _dared_ to get up there myself. I think he tried to embarrass me a little, but I felt… _so content_ up there,’’ he said dreamingly.

,,Was that the reason you ran away?’’ he asked, cuddling closer to the troll.

,,Yerh. But I first ran away when I was about 17. Almost 18, I think,’’ he shrugged. ,,I finished up my school, tried to make it work with a girlfriend I had back then, and then I just… kind of left, all of a sudden. I don’t even think I left a note,’’ he said, his eyes still closed. ,,As soon as I found the troupe I joined, I wrote back home to tell them what I planned to do. They weren’t _happy_ , but on the other hand, then I wasn’t their problem,’’ he said. He could feel Nite’s cold hands around his neck, gently trying to make his worries disappear. But Seymore didn’t feel any worry as he sat here; remembering what started his life, with the sorcerer in his lap, as he quietly listened to his stories.

,,… Do you ever regret it? Running away?’’ he said after some time. Seymore looked down at the mahogany eyes, so filled with questions he knew the young man wouldn’t dare ask.

,,No,’’ he smiled, leaning down to kiss him without hesitation. Nite’s lips were soft and careful, but familiar and safe. ,,… I honestly wouldn’t trade that, for anything. For all the awful things I heard, for all the trouble it brought to my family life… it also set me free. And no matter what,’’ he said, lifting the small man so they saw eye to eye, ,,I’m very happy to be _here_ , _now_.’’

,,I’m… pretty happy for that, too,’’ he chuckled, blushing slightly as he went in to kiss the troll again. ,,I already _know_ what I want to do with my life, Seymore. I don’t need anything _like that_ for my birthday. I just want _you_. I want us to sleep together and cuddle and… all that stuff,’’ he blushed, but his eyes never left the troll’s even if he seemed so flustered. ,,Dance with me. Tell me stories about your life, if you dare. I don’t want to think about my mother, or why I don’t mean enough to her that she won’t even be here. I just want _you_ , in… In every way I can,’’ he said gently, humming as he rubbed their noses together.

,,… Then I’ll be all that,’’ he smiled, embracing the small man a little more. ,,You know I want you too, right? It feels… _lonely_ , without you in my bed, at night… The castle is big and easy to get lost in, but… I feel at peace when you’re around me,’’ he said gently.

,,Me too…’’ he said quietly, his cheeks so flushed that it couldn’t even be hidden in the otherwise dim light. ,,By Am, you’re spoiling me tonight, troll! Are you buttering me up for any _particular_ reason, hm?’’ he smirked, kissing Seymore again. A little longer, a little less gentle. A few in a row, not with much space in-between to make Seymore unable to reply. He chuckled against the thin lips, but didn’t pull away the slightest.

As time passed, Seymore was content with just making out in strange places of the castle. Even when he was horny and lonesome in his room, he mostly fantasized about Nite’s mouth, not only using it to getting his cock wet, but mostly just kissing those thin lips he adored so much. When they sat like this, so close and intimate, he would normally ache and hope for those thin hands to creep under his clothes. But more than with any other partner he had had before, he appreciated that he alone saw Nite in vulnerable situations no one else had. That the young man even _dared_ to keep him this close.

,,Mmm, no reason,’’ he said gently, leaning against the soft seat behind him. ,,I just think you’re _particular_ cute today,’’ he chuckled.

,,I’m not _cute!_ ’’ he scoffed, but the smile still twinkled in his eyes. ,,You’re awfully sappy today. But don’t worry, I like that,’’ he smiled.

Seymore liked to think that most of their life could be like this, if the Madam kept on traveling for long periods of time. But he was also aware that it would only get harder to hide, the older Nite became. Seymore could _feel_ that Nite missed him when they had been away from each other for a couple of days, and he didn’t want to imagine how hard it would be, for both of them, to keep their distance to each other for _months_ at a time _…_

One night, not many moons later, Seymore went down to his chamber, to rest his tired feet. It was one of those periods, where Nite had buried himself in his studies, and he wondered when he would have the chance to kiss those wonderful lips again. He felt more lonely than lustful, he found.

He laid down to read, one of few books he had borrowed from the secret library with Nite’s permission. While he enjoyed his own books and the ones that Nite had given him, he also ached to read other works of literature, now that he had more time in the evenings and more accessible sources of books. When Nite studied like this, he tended to read more, trying to occupy his lonesome mind.

Seymore had once forsaken the idea of ever living in harmony with another being like this. He knew he was social, despite his self-isolation, but he would have never guessed he so easily had dwelled back into twosomeness as he did. He liked when Nite would chatter him up, both about magic or just some idea he had, so Seymore wouldn’t be alone with all of his thoughts on his own.

And while Seymore didn’t try to hide the fact that he _desired_ Nite and wanted to touch and _be_ touched by him, he liked it just as much when they just laid in bed, chatting while the sun rose anew. It was one of those things that made him feel like a teenager again, just like when he had met Ruvaen, laying close and listening to whatever the sorcerer had on his mind.

Seymore weren’t _as_ generous with his stories. He would tell Nite about places he had been, and about the world as he saw it, but he wouldn’t dwell too much about previous partners. It was rarely that he thought about past partners nowadays, not even when he fantasized for himself, but he worried that Nite would think of him as broken or dirty if he knew just _how_ many partners he had had. It was quite an accomplishment for a troll, considering that most of his partners hadn’t been other trolls, but he didn’t want Nite to feel less special, just because he had been _slutty_ in the past.

He was lost in his own thoughts when he heard the hurried footsteps in the hallway. At first, he almost feared that Nite had burned himself, but he hadn’t heard any explosions. Although he was aware of the young man’s presence, he still jumped slightly when Nite ran down the stairs to the troll’s chamber, his face red and his body only covered by his long sweater.

,,… Is everything alright, Nite?’’ he asked slowly, as the sorcerer fell flat down onto the mattress. It looked like he had been running around, but Seymore hadn’t heard him before just now.

,, _Yes!_ ’’ he smiled, sitting up and getting so close to Seymore, that they almost bumped their heads into each other. ,,Oh, watch out!’’ he chuckled, his cheeks still flushed. ,,Seymore I _came!_ ’’ he whispered ecstatically.

,,… What? Down here?’’ he asked, confused by the whole situation.

,, _No_ , silly! Seymore, I _masturbated_ and came on my own!’’ he chuckled, stripping his sweater without shame, as he sat naked on the suddenly flustered troll’s mattress. Seymore had seen Nite naked many times before, but the smell of sex already lingered in the air and felt intoxicating.

,,Oh… Uhm… Congratulations?’’ he said, eyeing the small man in front of him.

,, _Thank you_ ,’’ he said, lying flat down on the mattress again. He laid there, breathing heavily for a moment, before he looked back at the troll. ,,What you waiting for? Am I not interesting, now that I can take care of it myself, hm?’’ he teased.

,,Of course you are, but I wasn’t sure-,’’ he said, but stopped when Nite playfully poked him with his foot.

,,I’m not laying _naked on your bed_ without some sort of _expectation_ , Seymore,’’ he said seductively. ,,It doesn’t matter if I can do it myself or not. It still feels _so much_ better when you touch me,’’ he smirked, slightly tickling the troll with his feet.

,,Well, that’s how it started, wasn’t it? Because you couldn’t come,’’ he said slowly, gently holding Nite’s feet in his hands, kissing them caringly one after the other.

,,You’re really _stupid_ if you think _that’s_ why I keep coming back,’’ he panted, enjoying as the gruff hands stroked his ankles and further up his legs. ,,I mean… _Really?_ Why would I stop coming down here _now_ , just because I can do it myself? Do you really think _so lowly_ of yourself?’’ he scolded.

,,… Apparently so,’’ he said slowly. Although unlikely, for a short moment, he had actually believed that Nite would stop their nightly indulging all-together now.

Nite sat up, his brows furrowed and his gaze almost worried. He got up on his knees, as he gently made the older man look at him again.

,,Hey now,’’ the sorcerer said softly, his smile friendly and all traces of mockery gone. ,,You’re _not_ stupid, Seymore. Look at me, please? You can’t really _mean_ that you believed that I would… That I wouldn’t _need_ you, anymore?’’ he said gently.

,,… No, but… In some way… I don’t know,’’ he chuckled embarrassed, looking into the mahogany eyes again. ,,Part of me still believe you’re here, because you couldn’t come by yourself. I guess… part of me _likes_ that… Not as some kind of control, but as some sort of…’’

,,… Responsibility,’’ Nite finished.

,,Yes. Like that,’’ he smiled. ,,I like to _care_ for you. Also… with matters like _these_ ,’’ he said, slowly running his hand down between Nite’s legs. The younger man whined, but didn’t move the troll’s big hand.

,,Of course you do,’’ he smirked, leaning in to greedily kiss the troll’s lips. ,,And I _still_ want you to do that. You’ve seemed to forgotten… that you’re _my_ purpose, too…’’ he panted against the green lips.

Nite was already hard in his hand. It felt safe again with the sorcerer’s arms around him, so gently stroking his neck and back, while Seymore stroked the firm member on the whining, young man. It felt _exciting_ like this; the sorcerer caught up in his own ecstasy, while he silently praised the troll as he took care of him.

,,Your hands feels _better_ ,’’ he moaned. ,,Coming for _you_ feels _better_ ,’’ he moaned biting Seymore’s lips when they kissed. He was sloppy, greedy, and so into it despite coming himself a few moments ago, but Seymore adored this. ,,You’ve _barely_ touched me…’’ he complained, his gaze hazy and his movements already jittery.

,,It’s alright,’’ he said gently. ,,You’re so beautiful, Nite. You feel so _good_ in my hands,’’ he panted slightly, kissing the sorcerer’s neck as he felt Nite jerk around in his grip. ,,I want you to _come_ for me. Don’t hold back. I can make you come as _many_ times as you want,’’ he said, feeling his hand get sticky, as the young man apprehensively came into the troll’s tight grip. He tried to drown his moans against the troll’s shoulder, but Seymore still enjoyed every whimper that escaped the small man.

,,It’s not fair,’’ he whined, sighing relaxed as Seymore moved his hand to dry it off. ,,It feels so _good_ and _safe_ with you. Even if I had done it myself, you make me so _excited_ ,’’ he smiled, burrowing his face against the troll’s neck. ,,Nothing and no one can replace you, Seymore. Not for me,’’ he said gently, kissing the troll again.

,,You’re too kind,’’ he smiled, enjoying the lips on his own. He felt Nite’s hand creep down between his legs, but as the sorcerer continued to feel him up, he looked surprised up at the troll.

,,… You’re soft…’’ he said confused. ,,I don’t think… I’ve ever _felt_ you when you’re soft…’’

,,Well, uhm… There’s a first for everything?’’ Seymore smiled apologetic.

,,… Are you okay? You’re not… into it?’’ he asked, still confused as he moved around to not smother the troll. While Nite was fully naked, Seymore still had his pants on. That would normally not hide his raging hard-on, but now the pants fell as flat and soft as they normally were.

,,… No. Not tonight…’’ he said slowly. Nite sat confused for a moment, looking from Seymore to himself.

,,Did I do something wrong? I thought… you wanted it. You… Did I push you?’’ he asked concerned, covering himself with the blanket.

,,No, it’s not you, Nite. I know it’s hard to imagine, but… Sometimes I’m just not… horny,’’ he shrugged, but he knew Nite wouldn’t budge so easily.

,, _That’s_ a fucking first,’’ he scoffed. Then his gaze softened again. ,,I didn’t mean to… make you _uncomfortable_ , before. I really _don’t_ think you’re stupid. I… I didn’t mean it as an _insult_ , when I came down here to tell you… that I figured out my body, but… _For fuck sake_ ,’’ he muttered, closing his eyes regretfully. ,,Seymore, I can’t replace _you_ just because I can get off myself. That’s _insane!_ All I do is hoping that you’ll _finally_ see me as your lover, and then you’re getting all weird about me _masturbating?_ ’’ he said harshly.

,,That’s it,’’ the troll said slowly, gently reaching for the small man’s cheek. ,,I’m afraid that I push you away. And… I know it doesn’t always feel like it, but this is not _just_ a sexual thing for me. I _know_ it’s not for you, either, but… Feelings _change_ … I’ve _never_ been jealous of partners masturbating, and I _am_ very proud of you, I’m just…’’ He stopped, suddenly feeling his breath go shallow. ,,I’m _nervous_. If you can _do it yourself_ , I’m afraid you’ll… see clearly? I’m afraid you’ll figure out you don’t _need_ me, or that… whatever you thought you were feeling, just were hormones…’’ He stopped when he felt Nite’s gentle hands on his chest.

,,… You’re not _stupid_ , but you _are_ silly. And… that’s okay… Sometimes, you convince me that you _are_ older, and I forget that you’re… just as confused of a teenager, as I am,’’ he chuckled lightly. ,,You might _know_ more about all of this, but… that’s not because you’re older or wiser… We just have different experiences… But I still… I still _feel_ like we’re just two teenagers, hanging out and trying to figure all of this out,’’ he said slowly.

,,I sometimes think you’re right,’’ he said, smiling lightly. ,,I didn’t mean to make it into a bad thing, that you can do it yourself…’’ he apologized.

,,You didn’t. I didn’t think about what I was saying, before. I can’t follow your logic, why I wouldn’t be interested in you, just because of something like _that_. You’re _so_ much more than _handjobs_ , Seymore, how can you not _see_ that?’’ he asked gently. He leaned in to kiss the troll again, gently tucking in the earrings, that the troll still wore. ,,Every day I see _these_ , and I feel _so_ proud. I made something that you would proudly wear like this… You’re _mine_ , when these are on, in a sense, and I don’t _ever_ wish you to take them off, or that we should just forget the last couple of months,’’ he smiled.

He wanted to protest, that he still didn’t want to be anyone’s, but, how could he? The sudden fear of Nite cutting him off still lingered in his body. Who was he kidding, anyway? These past months had revolved around Nite, to take care of him and protect him, and dancing around his own feelings to not get too intense or lose control.

,,Come. We don’t have to fuck, if you’re not into it, but let me _at least_ make up for this,’’ Nite said, standing up and reaching out for the troll. Seymore smiled, grabbed the young man’s sweater and followed the sorcerer as he led them out of the basement chamber and further down the hallway, into his own chamber.

,,… What are you planning?’’ he asked slowly as he placed the sweater on the desk.

,,I’m just preparing a bath for you. I don’t _have_ to join, if you don’t want me to, but-,’’ he said, but soon discarded the idea when Seymore put his arms around him.

,,I would like you to stay with me, if I may,’’ he whispered. Nite smiled quietly as he filled the bathtub, making the water pink and bubbly with faint smelling soaps. ,,I thought you like that citrusy thing in your bath. The one that smells like oranges,’’ Seymore noted as they both stepped into the tub.

,,I _do_ , but this is for relaxation,’’ he explained. ,,It’s not… _magic_ , it’s just an herbal mixture. And I thought you would like it,’’ he smiled, leaning against the troll’s broad body.

,,It’s _very_ nice,’’ he said, enjoying the warmth against his body.

,,You like all this… _self-care_ stuff, right? I mean, long baths and fancy soaps and such?’’ he asked, blowing bubbles into the air. Seymore nodded and hummed behind the small man. ,,I don’t. Well, I like to be _clean_. My rooms are always filled with clutter and too much dust, but myself? I like to stay pretty clean. But I don’t really _relax_ at night with a bath, it’s too much work, I think,’’ he shrugged.

,,Really? I guess it makes sense if it was _every_ night. Maybe it’s just a romantic thought, to relax in a bubble bath with a good book and some tea…’’ he chuckled.

,,Maybe. I would worry that my books got wet,’’ he said slowly. ,,But I like this, with you. I know… I rarely _do_ so, but I like to spoil you, a little. You’re… very _grateful_ , even if I do things I don’t really think of as a big deal,’’ he said slowly.

,,I _am_ very grateful,’’ he smiled, hugging the small man closer. ,,I know… I _know_ this is not an everyday, regular kind of friendship, we have going on, but… I really meant it, when I said that you’re my best friend,’’ he said quietly, hiding his face against the sorcerer’s back. ,,Of course you’re also much _more_ than that… I’ve _never_ had a relation like _this_ , and… it scares me… Because it’s not simple, and I’m afraid to mess it up…’’

,,… It’s okay, Seymore. I’ve never had a friend before. I don’t really know how _anything_ works,’’ he chuckled. ,,Hey?’’ he said, leaning his head back far enough to look at the troll again.

,,Yerh?’’ he smiled, gently kissing the small man’s forehead.

,,… We’re okay now, right?’’ Seymore nodded, feeling calmer by the minute. ,,Good. I’m just… You’re very _physical_. I’ve _never_ been this close to you without you… _reacted_ , in some way or another. I’m not trying to say we _have_ to have sex, but I’m just… worried, I guess…’’ he said quietly.

,,I’m okay, Nite. I’m just not… really into it, tonight,’’ he tried.

,,… Okay,’’ he nodded, turning around to put his arms around the big troll. ,,Can I kiss you?’’ he asked instead.

Seymore didn’t answer, he just leaned in to close the space between them. Nite’s lips were gentle at first, but he couldn’t avoid tickling the troll and pressing his body so close that they squished together. Seymore didn’t mind, and just enjoyed the warmth and closeness, as the water gently splashed around them.

,,You’re such a weird troll,’’ Nite hummed happily against the green lips. ,,Every time I think I know _exactly_ what you want, I’m fooled. But that’s okay. I want to learn it all,’’ he smiled.

,,I feel the same way,’’ he admitted. ,,You never cease to surprise me.’’ He held the small man tenderly, enjoying every smile he received and how red his cheeks got.

As Nite’s birthday came closer, he got more and more aware that his mother might soon return home. She had never specified for exactly how long she would be gone, only that she wouldn’t make it till Nite’s 16th birthday, and probably would be back around spring. Now that Nite’s birthday was only mere days away, Seymore really wanted to imprint all these small, subtle things that the sorcerer did, that he had never seen before.

Like smiling so gently, made him look so dorky with his broken tooth. Or how the skin wrinkled up around his eyes when he laughed. He had never seen him laugh like this in the past. He wanted to remember every curve on his body and the softness of his skin, should they be unable to keep this up in the near future.

,,… Can I sleep with you, tonight?’’ Seymore asked softly, as the water began to cool. Nite tried to subtly heat it up again, but it didn’t work for long, and in the end, they both knew they had to leave the tub sooner or later.

,,Yes. I would have asked you to do so, anyway,’’ he said, smiling as they stepped out of the water. ,,Can I ask you a question?’’ he said as he began to dry off. Seymore nodded as he unplugged the tub. ,,… You said you lost your hair, because that’s just troll biology. But what about your body?’’ he said, gently running his long hands down the troll’s arms. ,,You’re _completely_ hairless, everywhere.’’

,,… Yes. I… Well, I used a mixture, _once_ , to remove hair around my body. I just didn’t know… that they wouldn’t grow back, correctly…’’ he said nervously. ,,I didn’t have much hair from the beginning. I mean, I could _never_ grow facial hair, as an example… I tried many things to _keep_ the hair on my head, but it was to no avail. Female trolls first lose them when they are well over a 100, but it’s not uncommon for males to lose them in their thirties,’’ he said.

,,What kind of mixture?’’ he asked curiously as they sat down on the bed.

,,… Something I shouldn’t have used. I thought it was made with herbs alone, but I don’t think it was meant for my skin-type,’’ he said. ,,… It was something my ex used all the time. He never _asked_ me to shave or anything, but he liked to be smooth himself. I… wanted to try it out, but I was foolish and did it everywhere, without testing it first,’’ he said, laying down in the soft sheets.

,,It sounds like something I made myself. But that’s not made with _herbs_ ,’’ he scoffed.

,,I don’t think it was as natural as he tried to convince me,’’ Seymore sighed. He looked at Nite, as the small man began to gather pillows and blankets for their nest in the big bed. ,,… You used it yourself, didn’t you? On your head?’’ he asked quietly. Nite was silent for a moment, before he finally nodded.

,,Yerh. My hair wouldn’t grow correctly, and when it did, it was very _patchy_. My mother said she wouldn’t shave me clean, because I looked _devilish_ , or something like that… So, I made a mixture, but it was too strong. My hair can’t grow back again. But, I got what I wanted,’’ he smiled, gesturing for the troll to come closer.

,,Devilish?’’ he chuckled. ,,… I can’t imagine you with hair,’’ he admitted as he laid down beside the small man. ,,… What about your own body hair?’’ he said, gently running his fingers down the sorcerer’s naked chest.

,,Well, I trim, sometimes. It doesn’t grow that much,’’ he shrugged. ,,I’m not that self-conscious about my pubes or underneath my arms and such. I, uhm… I trim a little more _often_ … when it’s regarding my butt…’’ he admitted.

,,I’ve _never_ noticed any hairs there,’’ he assured him.

,, _No_ , that’s the _point!_ ’’ he said confidently. ,,… It’s not like it grows that long or fast, anyway. I don’t shave my ass frequently, I just shave that a little more often than the rest of my body, I guess,’’ he shrugged. ,,… You don’t… _mind_ that, do you?’’ he asked curiously.

,,What? No, of course not,’’ he chuckled. ,,Even if your hairs are black, they’re _barely_ noticeable, Nite. And besides, it’s your body. I don’t mind if you’re smooth or hairy, whatever you’re comfortable with. I don’t mind being smooth myself, even if it was by mistake, but I wouldn’t have minded having hair, either.’’

,,What color was your hair?’’ he asked, running his hands across the troll’s bald head.

,,Brown. A dark brown, I guess,’’ he shrugged. ,,It wasn’t very soft. And I mostly kept it in a ponytail. I had _long_ hair,’’ he explained. ,,My parents were _livid_ when I came home, my hair long, my ears pierced, and my _boyfriend_ by my side,’’ he said, chuckling uncomfortably. ,,… No fucking wonder that they thought I was gay…’’ he sighed.

,,… That doesn’t matter,’’ Nite said slowly. ,,Even if you were gay, I mean. They should still have treated you _right_ ,’’ he said sternly. He suddenly looked nervous, before falling flat onto his back, lying beside the troll. ,,I wonder if my mother will also view me as gay? If that will matter to her? Do you think she’ll notice? Do… Do I _look_ gay?’’ he asked, flustering the troll.

,,Well, I don’t know what _gay_ looks like,’’ he chuckled nervously. ,,I don’t think _gay_ looks like anything specific,’’ he clarified.

,,But I… Do I _act_ gay?’’ he asked.

,,Why are you suddenly concerned about all this?’’ Seymore asked gently. ,,You’re _fine_ , Nite.’’ The young man seemed oddly tense, all of a sudden.

,,… I received a letter from my mother. I would have told you about it before, but… I didn’t want to spoil the mood. And then I thought I was reaching a breakthrough with my studies…’’ he began, turning to cuddle up against Seymore’s broad body. ,,She should be home mid-February. Which is…’’

,,… Barely a couple of weeks from now…’’ he continued slowly. ,,… Well, she had to come home, sooner or later,’’ Seymore shrugged.

,,Yes, I know, but… And I get why, _but_ … You don’t want her to know about this,’’ he said quietly. ,,And I’m afraid that I’ll reveal it by accident, because I _look_ or _act_ differently than when she took off…’’ he said.

,, _Oh_ …’’ He caressed the small man, feeling the uncertainty creep back into his mind. ,,… You should _never_ have to hide _anything_ , Nite. You don’t have to hide _who_ you are… But… I would _lie_ if I said that I would like if you told her about us having _constant sex_ while she was away,’’ he chuckled nervously, trying to catch the young man’s gaze. ,,… But if there ever comes a situation, where it’s for _your own best_ to tell her… About this, about _us_ … I would _never_ blame you for speaking up…’’ he said, hesitating as he spoke.

,,… Okay,’’ he said slowly. ,,I wish she _wouldn’t_ come back. After all that about hiding my existence… I sometimes wonder if she even _is_ my mother…’’

,,Well, she _was_ pregnant,’’ Seymore said slowly. ,,I wasn’t there, _of course_ , when she gave birth, but I was around when she was pregnant,’’ he shrugged. He looked uncertain at the man by his side, before he daringly asked: ,,… I have a question. I… I never saw anyone around that… _logically_ , could be… your father,’’ he said, looking up at the ceiling.

,,She has never wanted to answer the questions about my father,’’ he sighed. ,,But I don’t really care _who_ he was. He’s not here, anyway…’’ he said. Seymore hugged the small man closer to his body, to shield him from whatever thoughts went through him.

,,Couldn’t _that_ be why your mother is hiding you? That something went wrong with her and your father?’’ he asked quietly.

,,I guess. But it still feels _weird_. _Why_ would she risk breaking the law, just because of that?’’ he wondered.

,,… I don’t know. I wish I knew…’’ he admitted. ,,In any case… I’m happy we still have your birthday to celebrate,’’ he smiled gently. When Nite reached up to kiss the troll, Seymore reached around him and got him on top of his heavy body, before he leaned forward to greet the gentle lips.

,,… Do you plan to move back to your old room, when she returns?’’ he asked quietly against the green lips. Seymore was taken aback for a moment, before he shook his head.

,,No, I don’t think so. I can always give some bullshit excuse that the basement chamber is bigger, or something like that,’’ he mumbled. ,,… It would probably be unwise to sleep together, though…’’ he said quietly.

,,I know… Then I’ll just have to enjoy the next days a little more,’’ he mumbled, reaching down again to kiss the troll. Even if Seymore could feel how sincere and passionate Nite was, and even if it felt so freeing and safe to be with him like this, he still didn’t want to take Nite up on his quiet offers when he ran his hands down the troll’s body.

,,You’re not tired?’’ he asked after a short while.

,,I’ll _never_ get tired of this,’’ he smiled, continuing the kissing. Seymore chuckled against the thin lips, but didn’t try to pull away otherwise. ,,… Are _you_ tired?’’ he asked.

,,Suddenly, not so much more,’’ he hummed gently. ,,Tell me about what you work on. What _is_ it in that book, that’s so important?’’ he asked, in hopes they could stay up just a little longer, to kiss and cuddle, and to talk the night away.

,,… It’s hard to explain,’’ he hesitated. ,,The thing is, it’s very hard just to _open_ the book. It’s… a _special_ kind of magic…’’ he said.

,,You don’t like to talk about the book very much,’’ he noted, and Nite shook his head. He always had the suspicion that he was dealing with something, that he shouldn’t be, but it was hard to ask about. Nite didn’t strike him as the type to play with dark magic, he, above anyone else, should know how _dangerous_ that could be. And if the book possessed something evil, surely, the sorcerer would know and stay away from it.

,,I don’t want to bore you, with it,’’ he said, trying to brush it off. ,,I much rather tell you about wonders I already know how to control,’’ he said, tracing circles on the troll’s chest. ,,When I’m getting further in my studies, I can do almost _anything_ , Seymore. I _know_ you don’t like magic, but I can give you _anything_ ,’’ he said hopefully.

,,I don’t want anything, Nite,’’ he smiled. ,,I just want to hear you talk. I like the way your eyes light up when you do so,’’ he said softly. It clearly flustered the small man, but it made the moment so much softer.

,,… Hey? You know… When you go to bed, the next couple of days…’’ he said, his cheeks still rosy.

,,Yes?’’ he said, nuzzling against the sorcerer’s cheek.

,,… If I’m still studying, can you come get me? I really want to sleep with you until… Until I _can’t_ , but I know there’s _no way_ that you’ll just go into my bedroom and sleep, until I’m done reading, if I’m not here,’’ he said.

,,You’re probably right,’’ he mumbled. ,,But yerh. I’ll come get you,’’ he smiled softly, curling his arms around the small man.

,,Good,’’ he said. ,,I don’t want to talk about magic tonight. Tonight, _you_ tell me a story,’’ he said as he cuddling further into the bed.

,,About what?’’ he chuckled.

,,About you. I want to know everything about you,’’ he said, yawning as he did so. ,,Tell me about your life, before you came here. You don’t have to talk about… all the stuff that makes you uncomfortable, but all the other stuff. What did you do? How was it to travel around?’’ he asked, his eyes looking dreamingly up at him. Seymore hesitated, before he cuddled into the bed, gently caressing the sorcerer that closed his eyes.

,,Well, let me see… My passion was acting. I would say I was pretty good at it, but I didn’t get to perform much. Others meant that _trolls_ weren’t really fit for fair roles, so I mainly took care of things like scenes and such,’’ he said.

Nite didn’t answer, but Seymore was pretty sure he wasn’t fully asleep yet. He checked in every so often as he told about scenes he had performed, how he had loved every minute of it, and about poetry and music as well.

,,I played flute,’’ he said gently. ,,Not that exciting, but I was used for that, much more than for my acting skills,’’ he yawned, looking down at the small man in his arms. He lightly snored, looking so peaceful in his sleep. ,,… Sleep tight,’’ he whispered, carefully kissing the small man’s forehead, before he cuddled further underneath the blankets.

He felt warm and safe like this. Here, in Nite’s bed, it was easier to imagine a time, where Willa wouldn’t throw him out, but be _happy_ that someone cared for her son. A time where Seymore would wait for the day that Nite could _finally_ leave the castle, and that they would do so, together. Half-asleep, it was _so_ easy to indulge into the dreams about something simple like that.

Seymore had never thought he would care for Nite in such a way that he would _like_ to run away with him. What he felt for Nite was still _so_ much different from what he had felt for Ruvaen, that he hardly recognized it as love. It was something so much simpler, when they laid like this, than it had _ever_ been with the pixie.

But it was still _selfish_ to wish for a time, where Nite was his and he was Nite’s. Even as he drifted asleep, knowing that the days counted down to the Madam’s return home, he couldn’t bear the thought, if Nite had to go through just half of the hearth-ache that he himself had had to deal with in the past.

As if it was more merciful to not love him at all. But he could _hardly_ even deny himself that, anymore…


	11. 11) Time turning

At first, he thought it was just a very realistic dream. The noises, the touch, all felt so familiar, but he was still half asleep and couldn’t really decide if his eyes were open or not. He groaned, forcing his body to move, as he looked down his body to see the sorcerer between his legs, his eyes wide and alluring as he kept sucking him off.

,,You must have been _tired_ ,’’ he smirked, teasing the glans with his tongue. The troll groaned again, lifting himself on his elbows to take a better look at the young man.

,,What are you doing?’’ he asked, even if it was obvious at this point. Nite didn’t slow down when he sucked him, if anything, he tried to open his mouth more to feel as much of the twitching organ as possible.

,,I woke up because you poked me with this,’’ he said as he pulled away, firmly jerking the cock as he spoke. ,,And, well… I hoped to make up for yesterday,’’ he said rather gently.

,,… You don’t have to _make up_ for anything,’’ he said slowly, but it was hard for him to focus in his sleepy, horny state. His cock throbbed expectantly and he didn’t really mind waking up like this, regardless.

,,Let me ask you this, then: Do you want me to stop?’’ he asked, playfully licking the shaft. Seymore shook his head. ,,Do you want me to _continue?_ ’’ he smirked. The second Seymore nodded, he took the cock back into his warm mouth, sucking him faster and louder than before.

Nite didn’t try to look sexy or flattering when he was like this; he could barely breathe and spit was everywhere. His eyes got watery, his faced was flushed, but his gaze was pure bliss. Even more than the touch itself, Seymore loved the way the small man seemed so turned on himself when he was like this.

,,You’re really spoiling me right from… what time is it, anyway?’’ Seymore mumbled, trying to find a watch, but he couldn’t see one anywhere.

,,Relax, it’s morning. It’s only 5’clock, or something like that,’’ he said between sucks. ,,I have another treat for you. Lay down,’’ he smirked, and the troll happily obliged.

Nite moved to sit on top of the troll, his back turned to the older man, as he slowly grinded Seymore’s cock between his ass cheeks. He could feel how wet and slippery he already was, groaning at the thought of Nite preparing himself while Seymore had still been asleep.

,,You want this?’’ Nite teased, leaning forward to show himself off.

,, _Yes_ ,’’ he croaked, whimpering as he grinded against the tight entrance without slipping in. ,,You look so _inviting_ ,’’ he panted, lightly slapping his cock against the hole.

,,You can _have it_. _Come on_ , Seymore, it’s _all_ yours,’’ he purred, spreading himself further out. He felt the tip slip in, as Nite slowly began to sit down on the eagerly dripping cock.

,,You’re so _horny,_ all of a sudden,’’ he panted, grabbing around the small ass. ,,Not that I _complain_. But I’m not even getting a good morning kiss, and I’m already slipping so _nicely_ into you?’’ he whimpered, feeling the small man rather easily glide down his length.

,,Oh _shut up_ ,’’ he moaned. Seymore sat up, as he still pushed inside the sorcerer, making the small man whine in the process. The troll grabbed around the pale body, pressing Nite’s back against his own broad body, before gently kissing his neck.

,,Do I really need to _beg_ for it? _Kiss me_ , please,’’ he whispered. The sorcerer looked back at him, his gaze now soft, as he placed his lips on the troll’s.

He kept the small man in place, while he kept kissing him. With his lips wet from sucking him off, Nite’s moans drowned against his open mouth, and the troll felt the familiar rush of excitement of being so close to the human.

He didn’t want to fuck him roughly. For once, he wanted to just sit here, kiss him and make love to the sorcerer so gently and slowly, that Nite would grow impatient. He wondered if he would beg for it, like he himself had done on Winter Solstice. He wondered how long it would take for Nite to come, just like this, without either of them touching his cock at all.

,,You’re not very rough with me,’’ Nite noted between kisses.

,,I don’t always need to be rough,’’ he hummed, gently touching the younger man’s chest and stomach. ,,You don’t like when I’m gentle?’’ he chuckled, pushing slowly into the man in his arms, deeper and deeper as they kept going.

,, _Yes_ , but, I thought…’’ he moaned, as Seymore kissed him again. Although his moves were long and slow, his kisses were rather hungry and lust-filled. ,,I thought you would be _pent up_ from yesterday…’’ he whined. Seymore pulled out, only to place Nite down onto the plentiful of pillows and blankets on the bed, carefully inserting himself again.

,,Shhh, forget about all that,’’ he said gently. ,,I want to enjoy _every_ minute we have together. Okay?’’ he hummed as he leaned down over the small man again. He nodded, holding tightly onto Seymore’s back, as he felt the troll going deeper and deeper again.

,,Okay,’’ he whimpered, trying to spread himself out more as the troll sought out his lips anew. Nite seemed flustered by the gentleness of it all, as he had seemingly suspected it would be as rough and dirty as they also tended to do.

,,Stars, you look so good,’’ he panted against the pale skin. ,,Can you feel how _hard_ I am? I like it like this, too. _Very_ much, even,’’ he muttered, pushing further into him.

,,It’s _really_ good…’’ he moaned, clinging to the troll’s back. ,,It’s like… Like a massage…’’ he mumbled flustered.

,,Mmmh, you can say that,’’ he teased, playfully rubbing the small man’s nipples. ,,I’m so _deep_ into you. You like that, right?’’ he hummed, lifting the small man to suck on the hard nipples.

,,A-ah, yes!’’ he whimpered, slowly letting his hand down between his legs. ,,Is it okay… that I…?’’ he asked shyly, and the troll nodded against the small man’s pounding chest.

,, _Yes_ , touch yourself. _Come_ for me, Nite,’’ he whispered longingly. He loved to watch as the young man touched himself, so much more insecure with this than when he touched the troll. But this time, it was different.

He very teasingly let his finger down his glans, rubbed it firmly without stroking himself at all. As he whimpered and looked beggingly up at the troll, he let his other hand down to hold firmly around the base, still only teasing the head of his shivering cock. His breath was shallow and the whole sight was so enchanting to look at, that Seymore almost forgot to move for a moment.

,,I’m, a-ah, I’m very close… Please don’t stop… moving…’’ he whimpered, his dick drooling and making his fingers sticky. Then he slowly rubbed his glans with a couple of fingers, returning to his normal, jittery state.

,,By the stars, you’re so damn sexy,’’ he mumbled, kissing the frazzled man underneath him. ,,I’m sorry if I break your concentration. You’re just… _so_ hot right now,’’ he panted, groaning slightly as he kept kissing the small man. He could feel that Nite did just as before, and it didn’t seem to throw him that much off with the interruption.

,,No, no, it’s fine. Kiss me. It’s _so good!_ _Fuck_ me! I know you wanted it gentle, but… _I’m_ _so close!_ Just a little _harder_ ,’’ he whined against the green lips, kissing the older man greedily. Seymore happily obliged, grabbing around the small man’s waist before he fucked him with faster, shorter motions, just as deep as before.

He didn’t mind if Nite wanted it a little rougher. He didn’t mind that the man in his arms drooled and bit him, that he moaned unrecognizable words as he furiously touched himself, or that his legs tightened around his broad troll body, pulling him in closer. It turned him on to think of Nite, so horny he had to beg for Seymore to grab him and toss him around.

,,Nnngh, that’s it! _Kiss me!_ ’’ he moaned, clinging to the troll’s lips as he tensed up, orgasm finally shooting through him. He felt the warm flow of cum rub between them, as he slowed down just enough for Nite to catch his breath again. ,,A-ah, yes, slow down… Just give me a moment…’’ he panted.

,,It’s okay. Let me try something else,’’ he said, slowly pulling out under the sorcerer’s protests. He gently turned the small man around to be on his stomach, before he began to rub himself against his entrance, without slipping in.

,,What are you doing? Don’t just… _rub it_ , put it back in,’’ he whined, spreading his ass again.

,,You always want me to come _inside_ you. And it’s not that I _mind_ that, but I wanted to try… something else…’’ he said, his voice raspy and excited. He didn’t need much edging before he felt his orgasm creep closer, as he gently rubbed and slapped against the wet hole, jerking himself firmly.

,,That’s because you come _so much_. It’ll get _everywhere_ ,’’ he whined, slowly grinding against the big cock himself.

,,But I want to see you covered _nicely_ ,’’ he whimpered, his grip getting tighter. ,,You don’t mind it all over your face,’’ he noted, leaning in over the small man, trying to enjoy the feeling just a moment longer.

,,Well, it’s easier to clean my face… And I feel more in control…’’ he said, but none the less still kept his ass wide spread. ,,… Then do it. Make me fucking _filthy_ ,’’ he mumbled, covering his face in the mattress as he felt Seymore putting it back in, just for a moment. Nite’s body shook and his moans filled up the room, even through the mattress, but it didn’t take long before he pulled out again, slapping his heavy cock on the slippery hole, before he grunted satisfied as he came all over the small man’s ass and back, watching it shoot and drip in delight. Even if the sight was enchanting and exciting, he understood why Nite preferred to take the shot himself.

,,You’re right, it’s a goddamn mess,’’ he panted playfully, shaking his cock to get every last drop of cum out before he looked down at the dripping man.

,,Fuck, why do you _come_ so much? It’s like, thrice the amount I do,’’ he scoffed, running his fingers across his back.

,,And you have a pretty decent load yourself,’’ he said mockingly, licking his lips before he licked the small man’s back. He moved to be besides Nite’s head, leaning down to kiss the small man, sharing the cum with him, as Nite moaned into the kiss. While he had laid with people more fixated on cum, Nite wasn’t opposed to the idea of playing around with both his own and the troll’s semen, and Seymore adored him for that. He liked to taste, both himself and his given partner, but he liked the whole process of _cleaning his mess_ even more. Sharing that with his partner, was a wonderful treat. ,,Troll’s come quite a lot, I assume. I don’t know, I haven’t seen another male troll come,’’ he shrugged, when Nite pulled away from the kiss.

,,It’s everywhere,’’ he complained, but it was clear to see he wasn’t that upset. ,,Now _I’m_ the one who wants to shower.’’ He sat up, dirtying the sheets beneath him, before he leaned over to kiss the troll again. Even if his tone was harsh, his eyes where gentle. ,,Did you like it? To mark me like _this?_ ’’ he hummed happily.

,,Mmmh. Let me help you with the sheets,’’ he smiled, gently wiping most of his semen of the small man, as Nite went to freshen up. Seymore wiped himself as well, had changed the sheets and made the bed by the time Nite was back, his skin damp, and already yawning again. ,,I’m sorry if I somehow woke you up,’’ he smiled, gently kissing the sorcerer’s cheek as he walked past the older man to get onto the bed again.

,,… Well, it was an excuse to get you to wake up,’’ he shrugged. ,,You _were_ hard, but… I _could_ have waited…’’ he said slowly.

,,You don’t have to wake me up, before you start _playing around_ ,’’ he assured him. ,,Other’s might feel differently, but I find it very _exciting_ to be woken up like this. I might have felt differently when we _just_ started out, but… I’m comfortable with that now,’’ he smiled. Nite closed his eyes, as Seymore laid down beside him, just looking admiringly down at the small man.

,,I don’t think I would like to wake up like that,’’ he admitted. ,,I normally wouldn’t begin to suck you off, while you’re still sleeping but… I suddenly… was very afraid that _you_ wouldn’t want to… _do this_ , now that I can come by myself…’’ he said slowly, his eyes still closed. ,,I feared I had _really_ messed up yesterday,’’ he admitted, sighing regretfully.

,,You didn’t,’’ he promised. Seymore gently caressed the small man’s chest, just drawing circles with his long fingers. ,,Are you tired?’’ he asked the human by his side. Nite nodded, but didn’t move otherwise. His legs still dangled from the bed, and his body began to cool down.

,,But I don’t want to sleep,’’ he admitted, finally looking up at the troll again.

,,Really? How come?’’ he asked.

,,… I want to spend my time with you. Like… every goddamn minute I have left,’’ he whispered, gently climbing on top of the troll again. ,,I want to kiss and cuddle… and have you _fuck_ me in every single room in this Godforsaken castle…’’ he said, leaning down to kiss the troll again. There was a slight desperation in his voice, but Seymore stayed calm and held him closely.

,,It’s not a death-sentence that your mother comes home, Nite,’’ he said gently. ,,We can still talk. I still want to hear all about your studies and magic… Everything you want to share with me…’’ he tried.

,,And that’s… _nice_ , but I want to… I mean… We can’t do the things we do now. Not as frequently, not like _this_. I’m well aware how loud I am,’’ he muttered. He bit his lip, looking so small and uncertain again. ,,I don’t want to be _just_ your friend. I don’t want to be your Master or some fling… I…’’ he tried, but Seymore put a finger up to cover the small man’s lips.

,,I know. I understand,’’ he sighed. ,,I like this better, too, than the thought of sneaking around to kiss you, fearing to get noticed when we’re… together,’’ he said slowly. ,,But I’m still _here_. And we still have _weeks_ together,’’ he tried, although he felt the uneasiness himself. Considering they had been this close for months, a couple of weeks seemed not too far into the future.

,,It’s not enough time,’’ he mumbled. Seymore got the feeling that there were things Nite needed to get done before his mother’s return. Maybe it had something to do with his research, maybe it had something to do with the troll, he wasn’t sure, but the worried look in the young man’s eyes grew.

,,Tell you what,’’ he said gently, wrapping his arms around the small man. ,,Let’s sleep a little more. Then we’ll eat together, and we can get some work done. I really want to have the main parts of the castle spotless for your mother’s return, and you can study while I clean,’’ he proposed, but Nite shook his head.

,,I’ll help you clean,’’ he said insistently.

,,That’s very thoughtful of you,’’ the troll chuckled.

,,No it’s not. I only do this, so we’ll have more time together,’’ he scoffed. Seymore gently rolled over, the sorcerer still on top of him, to make Nite drop gently beside him on the bed.

,,I’m fine with that, too,’’ he smiled, leaning in to kiss the small man again. Seymore put the blankets around them, but Nite still just looked up at the troll with his big, tired eyes. ,,It’s okay, I’ll be here when you wake up,’’ he said quietly, gently closing the small man’s eyes.

Nite didn’t answer, he just cuddled closer to the troll, soundly asleep not too long afterwards. Seymore laid awake for a while, just looking at the sleeping man in his arms, wondering just exactly _how_ things would be, when the Madam returned. While he had always believed he would just cut things completely off with Nite when time came, it didn’t see plausibly anymore. It would _break_ the sorcerer. And himself, he thought mindlessly.

He remembered the Madam’s words, about Nite being ruthless, selfish and manipulative. And while Seymore barely thought about her warnings anymore, sometimes they crept back. Sometimes, he couldn’t help but question Nite’s intentions. Maybe the sorcerer _wasn’t_ in love with the troll, maybe he just thought that was what would lure Seymore to him, in one way or another. Maybe he _was_ in love, or, as in love a 15-year-old could be, and he would do or say whatever he could figure out to get Seymore to love him back.

He had wondered if the rune in his earring was some kind of love spell, but it didn’t seem to be so. He wondered, if it didn’t work, because he already was some kind of infatuated with the sorcerer.

While he had never been particular close with Willa, he had always respected her. It was harder to trust her now, that he knew she somewhat hid something, even from her own son. The mystery surrounding Nite’s birth lingered in the back of his mind, as the Madam seemed less and less trustworthy. Maybe she simply saw Nite as rude and cunning, because he didn’t obey her, and not because there was anything wrong with Nite himself.

Pushing his doubt aside, he enjoyed his time with Nite. The young man got a little clingier, trying to follow the troll at all times, but Seymore didn’t really mind that. It made it harder to plan for the young man’s birthday, but in the end, Seymore couldn’t imagine that he could give Nite something he would like more, than just to stay around him at all times.

Nite woke up rather early on his birthday. Seymore laid in bed, waiting for the mahogany eyes to open, as he didn’t want to wake up the young man today of all days.

He remembered a time where he would look at Nite and don’t find him beautiful. It was hard to imagine now. Intrusive thoughts of ‘Love really _does_ make blind’ was cast aside as quickly as they came. But it was true, he would never have looked twice in Nite’s direction before, had their paths crossed elsewhere. Now, he couldn’t really imagine a world without him.

Seymore had never planned for what he would do, when he wouldn’t work for the Madam anymore. When he came to the castle, it had started off as a temporary thing. He had never thought he would stay this many years, but he had never really planned what to do, when the Madam eventually wouldn’t be there anymore. She was considerably older than himself, and he knew her lifespan would run out before his own.

He had never thought about that one day, Nite could be the only Greenlight at the castle. Considering the Madam’s long travels, and that he didn’t believe them to be riskless, he couldn’t be sure if or when that would happen. In the past, he probably wouldn’t have worked for Nite, but now, the thought almost seemed welcoming, although he didn’t expect the sorcerer to _hire_ him, as much as them just living together, in some form of arrangement.

The small man stretched his body, sleepily looking to his side as he smiled at the sight of the troll. Seymore couldn’t remember many people who had smiled this sincerely to him when they woke up beside him, and it was hard to imagine Nite as a _master manipulator_ when he looked so small and content in the big, soft bed, waiting for his good morning kiss.

,,Good morning. Did you sleep well?’’ the troll asked in his raspy morning voice. Nite leaned up, playfully perking his lips until Seymore chuckled and kissed him. The small man hummed against the green lips, his hands gently holding the troll’s face.

,,Yerh. I have this big, soft teddy bear I sleep with that keeps me warm at night,’’ he mused, chuckling at his own words. ,,Ew, I’m getting older _and_ sappier. Horrifying,’’ he joked. ,,Have you been awake for long?’’

,,No, not that long,’’ he smiled gently. ,,What do you want for breakfast? I can make you anything you want,’’ he asked, getting ready to get up, before he got pulled down again into the bed.

,,What about _you?_ ’’ he smirked, leaning in to kiss the troll again. He wasn’t as gentle, but much more playful as he tucked in the troll to climb on top of him. It was hard to deny him anything, when he made it so easy to indulge into a side of himself, that he rarely touched.

,,Later, Nite, I promise,’’ he scolded playfully, kissing the sorcerer’s neck and collarbone.

,,Really? Mmmh, if I didn’t know any better, I would say you act like someone who wouldn’t mind staying right _here_ all day,’’ he said, poking his tongue out with a grin, as he gently rubbed his knee against the hardening bulge in the troll’s pants. ,,Is that my birthday present, or are you just happy to see me?’’ he joked.

,,You’re _awful_ today,’’ Seymore chuckled, getting up from the bed and lifting the small man. Nite didn’t shriek as much anymore when Seymore would randomly lift him, seemingly liking the brute nature of the troll just taking matters into his own hands. ,,Come on, level with me. I want to make your day _nice_ , but that’s going to be hard if you throw me off with such awful puns,’’ he chuckled, kissing the small man in his arms, before he began to walk towards the kitchen.

,,Today _will_ be nice, if we just stay in bed and fuck each other’s brains out,’’ he complained, but he didn’t seem too dissatisfied when he got put up on the counter in the kitchen.

,,My, my, aren’t you in a mood today?’’ he said, leaning in to kiss the small man again. He just stood there, kissing Nite so longingly, slightly holding his head between his big hands, as if he was something fragile to be protected. This seemed to satisfy the sorcerer, at least for a while, when the troll pulled away again. ,,Breakfast first. Then we can stroll around the forest, for a while, if you will,’’ he said gently, as he began to find pots and pans for their meal.

,,But it’s _cold_ outside,’’ he whined, but he smiled regardless. He seemed rather excited at the thought of getting outside.

,,Don’t worry. I’ll keep you warm,’’ he smiled. ,,What’s gotten into you today?’’ he chuckled.

,,I’m enjoying my last day as a whiney teenager, before I’m _officially_ an adult,’’ he announced, with almost a childlike-proudness.

,,Well, you can be a whiney adult, if you want to,’’ he said playfully, nuzzling against the sorcerer’s smaller body as the eggs cooked. ,,But really, I have everything prepared. You do so much for me. I really want to make this special for you,’’ he said quietly, leaning against the younger man’s lips.

,,I know,’’ he smiled, gently kissing the troll. ,,And thank you. I really _do_ want to go outside. It’ll be alright, right?’’ he asked.

Nite wasn’t used to being outside, the troll had to remember. The most he had seen him been outside, was sitting by open windows or going to the balcony on the second floor. As far as the troll knew, Nite was normally allowed to be around the surrounding forest, but as he had pointed out before, it had always been accompanied by his mother.

While Seymore knew it would be bad to sneak around and walk too far away from the castle, it was also very tempting to show him what beautiful wilderness the West also housed. Mokar was mostly forest, a lot of dry land too, and not that many idyllic places to sit and have a picnic. But in the late January frost, the forest surrounding the castle seemed fairy-tale like and fragile, and that would have to do.

,,It’ll be alright,’’ he assured him. ,,You know how far away from the castle you and your mother have gone in the past. I trust you to tell me, if we cross those boundaries. But we probably won’t, anyway. I’ve found a pretty peaceful place not that far from the east end of the castle,’’ he said, as he began to plate up their breakfast.

Nite seemed proud by the trust the troll put into him. He was in a fairly good mood, considering how early it was. He didn’t complain about eating and was the first to be done, already prepared to go outside when the troll put the plates away.

,,Relax, Nite, we have all day,’’ the troll chuckled, watching as the sorcerer gathered his surprisingly thick winter coat. ,,It’s not _that_ cold outside,’’ the troll smiled, wearing a jacket only slightly thicker than his usual clothes.

,,Well, _I’m_ cold,’’ he scoffed, taking the troll’s big hand in his as he almost jumped their way down the hallway. ,,I haven’t been outside since… _I barely remember_ ,’’ he muttered, as he slowly opened the big, heavy front doors. ,,Since last _spring_ , I think,’’ he said, his breath becoming small, hot puffs of air in the winter cold.

,,That’s insane,’’ the troll mumbled, but Nite barely noticed. He looked like he wanted to run, but his hand was still tightly in the troll’s. The small man looked up and down the frosty trees, and seemed overjoyed when the leaves crunched underneath their feet as they walked down the big staircase in front of the Greenlight castle.

,,I’m usually not out during winter,’’ he said, carefully touching frozen statues and monuments placed on the railing.

,,Why is that?’’ the troll asked, gently guiding the small man in the direction he wanted, when they had passed down the staircase. The castle looked somewhat big and looming from outside, but the windows where covered in frost, as were all the castle pillars. He had always thought the castle looked big and menacing from the outside, but it seemed more peaceful right now. Maybe it was because of the sunlight, or maybe because he wasn’t alone.

,,Because it’s _cold_ ,’’ he said, rolling his eyes, but his smile still sparkled. ,,If we’re heading towards east, we’re going the wrong way,’’ he noted.

,,Yes, I know, but I wanted to have a short walk with you around the place,’’ he explained. ,,I’m not that much outside, either. But a little more often than _last spring_ ,’’ he said, slowly curling their fingers together. Nite really looked cold already. He shouldn’t be, underneath his heavy sweater and the big coat. He wondered if this was part of Nite’s _condition_ , although not being sick, still being different than what the Madam had expected. ,,The castle is big, but the walk shouldn’t be that long. But tell me if you feel uncomfortable,’’ he said gently.

,,No, it’s fine,’’ he said. ,,So, where _exactly_ are we going? And what are we doing? I mean, it’s winter, there’s not much to do outside, is there?’’ he asked. Although he tried to be nonchalant about the whole thing, Seymore could tell he was excited. Nite’s eyes would rarely leave the troll, but now he looked all around them, from the beautiful, open sky, to the thick forest that surrounded the area like an army. He briefly wondered if Nite looked for a way to escape, but his hand was firmly in the troll’s.

,,I found a place, where I’ve set up a few things. I really wanted to take you out and show you all these beautiful places, but this will have to do. It’s not like camping, because we’re not staying outside until tomorrow, but it’s very cozy, I promise,’’ he assured him, admiring how curiously Nite looked around.

They walked a little while longer. Nite normally walked rather fast, but out here, he didn’t. His breath was shallow, but Seymore guessed it was due to the cold. He stopped frequently, just to look at stuff around him, as if his mother had never stopped once to let him just _look_ at the world, he wasn’t allowed to be a part of.

,,It’s right over here,’’ Seymore said, walking a little further into the forest, leaving the castle behind them. Nite looked nervous for a moment, but followed nonetheless. ,,Please tell if we go too far away,’’ he said gently.

,,We’re not. I’m just _excited_ ,’’ he said, slightly giggling. ,,You’re breaking the _rules_. That’s _wild_ ,’’ he smiled. Seymore lifted branches out of their way, trying to make the walk through the woods as pleasant as possible.

,,Well, I _trust_ you. I trust you to tell me if we get too far away, and I trust that you’ll stay around me and not run off,’’ he said, quickly lifting the small man to get through a particular branched area.

He sat Nite down again, when they were in a small clearing in the forest. Seymore had already placed blankets and pillows in a tent to shield them from the cold, and a fireplace to cook at. Nite got as thrilled as he had hoped, quickly walking over to the campsite. The pillows and blankets were only slightly frosty, but it was easy to dust off.

,,The idea was to keep us warm and cozy, but I’m unsure if the blankets will warm us up, or that we will warm them,’’ Seymore chuckled, as he began to lit up the fireplace. It took him a little while, but soon, the fire began to burn and heat the area generously.

,,This is really nice,’’ he said, sitting down beside the troll on one of the big logs placed around their small campsite. ,,When did you have time to _do_ all of this?’’ he said, warming his already cold fingers against the fire.

,,A little here and there, when you’ve studied for the last couple of days. It wasn’t that easy,’’ he admitted. ,,I know it’s rather simple. We don’t have to be out here _all_ day, if you don’t want to. But I packed snacks, and it’s pretty cozy in the tent, too,’’ he smiled.

,,It’s nice, Seymore. I don’t really care about what we do,’’ he admitted, looking gently up at the troll. ,,I don’t really view this day as any different than many other days. I just really want you to be with me. All the other stuff is nice. But… as long as you’re here, that’s the best gift I could wish for,’’ he said, gently curling their fingers together again.

,,You’re very sweet,’’ he smiled, leaning down to kiss him. Nite was usually pretty chilly, but his lips were ice-cold. Much colder than he liked to think about. ,,Are you feeling alright? You’re _very_ cold, Nite,’’ he said concerned. The young man nodded, cuddling a little closer to the troll.

,,Yes, I _feel_ alright. I’m just not used to these temperatures,’’ he muttered.

,,… Would you be able to heat up the tent? With… _magic_ , I mean,’’ he asked, his smile strained, but he feared that Nite would get sick before the Madam’s return, if he didn’t do so.

,,It should be possible,’’ he said with a smirk, standing up to inspect the tent. ,,For… _safety reasons_ , I have moved the snacks away,’’ he said. Seymore didn’t look, but he heard the faint, whimsical sound of something unfamiliar. Even if he knew Nite was careful, it still sent chills down his spine. Not to the point where he wanted to cry, but enough that he felt a quiver when Nite’s light hand was put on his shoulder. ,,It’s okay. Come. It’s warm in there,’’ he said, gently kissing the troll on his cheek.

The tent was spacious enough for both of them to sit comfortably with their pillows and blankets. The fire still burned slowly outside, and Seymore made sure to peek out to keep an eye on it. The heat from whatever magic spell Nite had cast really did warm the tent through, and it was hot enough that the troll didn’t need his jacket anymore.

,,… You know…’’ Nite said quietly as he cuddled against the troll underneath the blankets, ,,… when I healed your hand, back then… and you got scared and yelled at me… I really _did_ get scared,’’ he admitted.

,,I’m sorry…’’ the troll said slowly, not understanding why he would bring that up all of a sudden.

,,No, no, _you_ didn’t scare me. Or… maybe you did, but mostly I got scared, because I didn’t really believe you _were_ scared of magic. Not… Not like _that_ ,’’ he admitted.

,,… Why are you thinking about that now? That’s so long ago,’’ he asked gently.

,,Because back then… you wouldn’t have asked me to heat up the tent… I rarely voice how much you have changed, with things like this. I feel very _proud_ , that you’ve grown this much, and I’m… it’s makes me very _happy_ ,’’ he smiled gently, looking up at the troll. He felt his face flush at how sincerely Nite looked at him, but smiled regardless.

,,Well, you’ve changed a lot, too,’’ he said, slowly laying down in the pillows spread across the tent floor. Nite finally felt warm enough to take his coat off, before he laid down besides the troll. ,,I think you’ve changed more than I have, if I’m being honest,’’ he said gently, nuzzling his cheek against the sorcerer’s.

,,I think so, too. But… that’s _because_ of you…’’ he said. ,,I would do _anything_ to stay right here, with you,’’ he said, his cheeks red, but this time, it wasn’t due to the cold.

,,We can stay here all day, if you want,’’ he hummed gently.

,,You know that’s not what I mean,’’ Nite smirked, tumbling down onto his backside, closing his eyes. ,,Tell me a story, Seymore,’’ he said quietly.

,,I actually have an offer to make you,’’ the troll said, his heart pounding slightly. This gained the sorcerer’s interest again, as he peaked to his side to watch the gentle troll. ,,… You’ve told me many times that I don’t tell you enough about myself. And I want to show you, that I _really_ do trust you. You can ask me any question, and I’ll answer truthfully, no matter how little I want to,’’ he said. Nite was about to ask, what he undoubtably knew he would, before he paused the small man by pressing his finger towards his lips. ,,However, _please_ don’t ask why I’m not with my former lover anymore. You can ask me anything. There’s no reason to dwell on _that_ ,’’ he smiled tiredly. Nite pouted, but nodded satisfied.

,,Alright, I see,’’ he smirked. He thought about it for a while, looking at the troll to decipher what would be the wisest to start off with. ,,What do you miss the most from before you came here?’’ he asked. Seymore was taken aback by the question, before he began to think it through.

,,Right now… I really don’t miss anything,’’ he said truthfully. ,,I do sometimes miss traveling… But I’m actually not that interested in long, abroad trips anymore. I really do enjoy the quite life, although I would love to see… I mean, if I could, I would like to show some especially beautiful places to you,’’ he smiled.

,,There’s really _nothing_ else?’’ he asked playfully. The troll shook his head, making the earrings tinkle beautifully. ,,Okay then, next question,’’ he smiled, leaning forward. ,,Are we going to _fuck_ in the woods or not?’’ he giggled, barely even saying it before he hid his face against the troll’s chest.

,,You’re really thirsty today,’’ he chuckled, trying to catch the sorcerer’s playful gaze. ,,Well, it wasn’t my plan originally. I thought it would be too cold. But now, maybe we can,’’ he hummed against the small man’s lips. ,,But _later_. I still want to give you your present before that,’’ he smiled, kissing the man so gently.

,,I thought all of _this_ was my present,’’ he said, gesturing to the tent.

,,Well, it’s part of it all,’’ he shrugged. ,,You always have so many questions. And now, all you want to know is when we get to _fuck?_ ’’ he chuckled, laying down on his back and looking up at the tent. It felt cozy in here, like their own little space, where no one could disturb them.

,,It’s _hard_ when you put me on the spot like that,’’ he whined. ,,I would love to hear about your family. About your travels. Seymore, I could spend _weeks_ just listening to you. But it makes you tired, and sex doesn’t do that, not the same way. And I want _all_ of your attention,’’ he said, looking at the troll again.

,,That’s fair. Then just let me grab something, and-,’’ he began, but Nite gently pulled him into the pillows again.

,,No, there’s _one more_ thing I want,’’ he said, his eyes sparkling as if he had suddenly got a great idea. ,,Teach me how to speak _troll_ ,’’ he asked, flustering the man by his side.

,,Well… I can teach you a few things, I guess,’’ he smiled. He hadn’t considered that _this_ would have been a topic to arise. He had somewhat expected Nite to ask uncomfortable questions about previous partner’s, if not Ruvaen, then his general partners, or about stuff he liked or wanted to try. He had maybe expected that Nite would dare to ask what the troll _really_ felt about him, but not that he wanted to learn _troll_.

,,That’s fair. How would you say _I_ or _you?_ ’’ he asked nonchalantly.

,, _Ie_ and _gorotu_ ,’’ he growled, his voice deeper and raspier than normal. It seemed to surprise Nite how easily Seymore changed his voice, but mostly, it seemed like he recognized something.

,,… Do you speak troll _often?_ ’’ he said, completely ignoring his previous goal of learning troll.

,,Not that often,’’ he said. Truthfully, he didn’t speak much troll. He mainly used it, when it all felt too overwhelming with Nite.

,,I see…’’ he said, seemingly not really believing the troll. ,, _I_ and _gurotu,_ ’’ he tried, his voice still light and airy.

,,Deeper,’’ Seymore guided. ,, _I-e_. _G-roo-tu_ ,’’ he tried, slowing down as much as he could.

,,It’s hard,’’ he chuckled. ,,My voice doesn’t go that deep,’’ he shrugged. ,,Can you say more? Just speak to me.’’

,,I, ahm… _Yes, I can speak troll to you,_ ’’ he growled, getting flustered anew. ,, _I hardly know what to say… It’s feels weird when you don’t understand me_ ,’’ he growled, chuckling as Nite’s smile widened.

,,It’s so interesting,’’ he noted. The sorcerer’s cheeks heated, before he leaned a little closer to the troll again, smiling excitedly. ,,How do you say _I love you_ in troll?’’ he asked gently. Seymore didn’t answer at first, he just wondered why he hadn’t figured out that _this_ had been Nite’s intention.

,,Nite, I’m-,’’ he tried, but got interrupted again.

,,I’m just _asking_ , Seymore,’’ he pouted.

,,Troll’s don’t have a word for _love,_ like that,’’ he lied.

,,I _hardly_ believe that,’’ he sighed. ,,How would you tell your girlfriends that you liked them?’’ he asked, his deep-set eyes never leaving the amber ones.

,,I wasn’t with any troll for long enough to say _I love you_ ,’’ he chuckled nervously. He tried to look away, but it was hard to do so without looking guilty.

,,… It’s only him you told that, right?’’ he asked instead. The troll nodded slowly, wondering how to get out if this topic. Wondering how much damage it would do in the long run to just _tell him_. Wondering if it would make more damage, to not tell him…

,,Nite I-,’’ he began, but the sorcerer cut him off again, and Seymore was too nervous to continue after that.

,,No, it’s alright, you’re right. I just wanted to… hear it… Even in a language I don’t understand,’’ he admitted.

,,… I have something for you,’’ he said instead, trying his hardest to change the subject the slightest. ,,It might not be the best time, _right now_ , to give it to you, but… I don’t think there’ll ever be a _good_ time either…’’ he mumbled, fiddling with the box their food where in. ,,I… It’s just a small thing… You don’t have to…’’

,,Come on, Seymore. Why are you acting so flustered all of a sudden?’’ he chuckled, as the troll handed him the small box. The same box Nite had given Seymore at Winter Solstice, but this time, it was neater wrapped. ,, _Oh_ ,’’ he said, seemingly remembering how he himself had felt that day. ,,It’s not… earrings, is it? My ears-,’’

,,It’s not,’’ he assured him. ,,I’m afraid you’ll take it the wrong way,’’ he said nervously, as Nite opened the small box. He just looked at it for a moment, as if he didn’t know what it was.

,,It’s a ring,’’ he finally said, gently removing it from the box.

,,I am not… It’s not an engagement ring… I, ahm… I’ve made it,’’ he said, feeling dizzy as Nite didn’t seem to react to it. Then the sorcerer noticed how flustered the troll was, putting the ring on in an instant. It fitted his ring-finger nicely.

,,I didn’t think so,’’ he said, looking from the ring to the troll. ,,I was just trying to figure out if I would like the feeling of wearing rings,’’ he said. He put it so weirdly that Seymore almost forgot that he felt embarrassed.

,,Oh, I… wait, what?’’ he said, chuckling slightly.

,,My skin is sensitive,’’ he explained, looking at the ring again. ,,It’s pretty. How did you make it?’’ he smiled, taking the troll’s hands in his.

,,… I hope it feels alright,’’ he said, gently running his fingers across the silver. ,,I had a chain on my pocket watch. I tried to bend it to the best of my abilities,’’ he said, lifting Nite’s hands to kiss both of them. ,,You don’t have to wear it. But I didn’t feel I had anything to give you,’’ he admitted, letting his lips gently rub against the finger he wore the ring on.

,,It’s pretty, Seymore. Thank you,’’ he smiled. ,,Did you really believe I would think you _proposed_ to me, when you can barely handle that I’m saying _I love you_ , once in a while?’’ he asked, smirking slightly. ,,Besides… I don’t _need_ you to marry me. I might live in a _castle_ , but I’m not that formal,’’ he said, moving to sit on top of the troll again.

,,Well, I… Maybe it was silly,’’ he admitted, smiling to the small man on his lap. ,,If you had given me a ring, I would probably had taken it that way,’’ he explained.

,,… Do you _want_ to get married?’’ He made it sound like a regular question, but Seymore wasn’t sure if he meant in general, or to _him_ , specifically.

,,Well, I’m… not _opposed_ to marriage, but… I don’t think I’m that formal, either,’’ he chuckled, leaning down to kiss the small man.

,,I thought you said you didn’t want another lover,’’ he noted, smirking as if he had caught the troll in something sinful.

,,… I didn’t,’’ he said quietly, kissing the sorcerer again. If he kissed him long enough, maybe Nite would drop the topic. If he kissed him _long enough_ , he would maybe forget why he didn’t want another lover. Maybe, if he kissed him, _just enough_ , he would want that again.

Nite’s lips were persistent as they kept kissing. He was slow, but not gentle. Curious and direct, as he knew the way Seymore liked to kiss, how he liked to be bitten, and how their tongues would fight for dominance until one of them would need to pull away to get air.

,,You’re pretty great, you know that, right?’’ the small man said, chuckling happily against the green lips. ,,I’m _very_ happy, for everything, Seymore. It’s really nice,’’ he smiled, longing for his lips again. ,,… There’s one thing, I really want to do,’’ he then said slowly, suddenly a little nervous.

,,Really? What is it?’’ he smiled.

,,… You don’t have to, if you don’t want to. But, let me finish, before you say no, at least,’’ he started, making Seymore very aware that this would have something to do with magic.

,,… Okay. I’ll listen,’’ he promised. Nite seemed nervous, but the troll gently pulled him closer to his body. ,,What do you have on your mind?’’ he asked gently.

,,Well… I don’t want to come off as rude… But I’ve been thinking about… How you looked when you were younger…’’ he said slowly. The troll’s browbone furrowed, but he didn’t interrupt, which seemed to make the sorcerer relax. ,,Okay, so, I’ve talked about spells that can _alter appearance_. Some can do it permanently, but I can’t do that. For me, it’s like an illusion, if you will, but it’ll feel real to the touch. You know… I could alter your age, maybe for a couple of hours, and I would be able to feel your body as it had been back then, but your body _itself_ wouldn’t know it was 20 again,’’ he tried to explain.

,,It… makes sense, but… I’m a little unsure _why_ ,’’ he chuckled nervously. Nite fiddled with the ring on his hand, as he tried to steady his breath.

,,Well, it’s because… I really want to _see_ what you considered… your _prime_ , so to speak… I don’t assume you have any pictures of yourself from then, and I… I got the feeling that you _somewhat_ would like to see yourself that way again. Even if it wouldn’t be permanent, I would like to… I would like to see your eyes, before they grew so sad…’’ he said gently, slowly reaching for the troll’s face. Seymore was more alarmed by the tone of his voice, than his request itself.

,,I… think my eyes were always sad-looking… They’re droopy,’’ he chuckled, cupping the small man’s cheeks. He thought about it for a while, before he sighed regretfully. ,,Will it hurt?’’ he asked nervously. Nite shook his head to the best of his abilities while the troll still held him so dearly. ,,… So, what’s the risks? If it doesn’t work, I mean. And, will the risks be permanent?’’ he asked quietly.

,,If it doesn’t work, it most likely won’t do anything. If I do it wrong, it could make you older instead of younger, or some other appearance things could change, like your skin color. But it shouldn’t be permanent, either,’’ he assured him. ,,The _worst_ that could happen would be you were stuck that way. But then again, your body will still _be_ your current age, your mind will be the same age as well. It’s only your appearance,’’ he assured him.

,,… It doesn’t really seem so bad, if I would be stuck with a twenty-something-year-olds looks,’’ he said nervously. ,,But I don’t like the idea of getting _older_ and _then_ stuck with my looks,’’ he said, shivering slightly.

,,I’m sure it could be reversed back, but… I’m not sure I would be able to do that. And I’m not sure my mother would get back in time to do the reversing,’’ he admitted. ,,… You don’t _have_ to do it, Seymore. Of _course_ it’s because I’m curious and I want to try this sort of magic out, but… it’s also because you always tend to think of yourself as _broken_ , and back then as a _little less_ broken… _I know_ this can’t fix that, but-.’’

,,What if you like me better when I was younger?’’ he interrupted, startling the small man. ,,What if I look so differently, that it’s too hard to go back to… _this?_ ’’ he asked quietly. Nite seemed baffled for a moment, before he smiled flustered to the troll, looking him up and down.

,,You do know that I’m… I’m into big bodies, right? I mean, _I assume_ other types of bodies are interesting, but I, ahm… I like that you’re _big_ and _strong_ , and I don’t mind that you have scars or stuff like that… The only thing I mind is… that I made them…’’ he said, gently running his fingers across the troll’s face again.

,,… No, I didn’t know that…’’ he admitted, feeling his ears heat up. ,,I… I always just thought that you were… more attracted to my personality, than looks…’’ he admitted.

,,My silly, little troll,’’ he chuckled, kissing him gently. ,,I’m attracted to both, Seymore. I really meant it, back then, I wouldn’t change a thing. But I’m still _curious_. And maybe it would… _help_ you, in some sense?’’ he said slowly.

,,Maybe you’re right…’’ he muttered, shaking his head as he felt the doubt creep up. ,,For how long would it last?’’ he asked, his eyes growing uncertain.

,,A couple of hours, I don’t think I could keep it up for any longer,’’ he said. ,,I would need to know a specific time. Like a certain age. 21, 22, or something similar,’’ he said hopeful.

,,… Then it would probably be 20 years, that was right before… I began dating Ruvaen…’’ he said slowly, feeling almost anxious at the thought. ,,But after I began training. I would, ahm… I would still have hair around my body, though,’’ he mumbled.

,,That’s fine,’’ he said hastily, impatiently rubbing his fingers together. ,,Would you… be interested?’’ he asked, visible hopeful.

,,… _Will it hurt?_ ’’ he asked again, his voice almost only a whisper. This seemed to startle Nite, but he gently shook his head again.

,,I… No, forget it. I shouldn’t have asked, it wasn’t my intention to-,’’ he tried, but stopped as Seymore looked at him, his eyes big and fearsome, but his smile gentle and reassuring.

,,It’s okay… Just give me a moment,’’ he said, trying to steady his breath, as he relaxed against the small man. ,,Do I need to sit differently? Stand? What’s the easiest way to do it?’’ he finally said, taking the sorcerer’s hands in his and squeezing them gently. Nite looked at him for a moment, almost concerned, before he smiled to the shaking troll.

,,It’s okay,’’ he said calmly, just as calmly as when he had healed Seymore’s hands back then. It was clear, even for Nite, that the troll stepped way out of his comfort-zone. ,,… We don’t have to do this… I didn’t mean to… make you this uncomfortable… I don’t know why I thought this was okay to ask,’’ he chuckled nervously.

,,… You are my purpose,’’ he said slowly, guiding the sorcerer’s hands to his mouth, kissing each finger, until he reached the one with the ring on. He mindlessly rubbed his thumb against it, before looking up at the small, flustered man on his lap. ,,… And I _trust_ you…’’ he said determined.

,,Close your eyes then,’’ he smiled, taking the troll’s hands in his. Seymore did as told, feeling his heart pound unbearably in his throat. ,,Listen to my voice, Seymore. Focus on _me_. I’m going to place my hand on your head, like this,’’ he said, moving one of his hands. His palm felt cooling against the troll’s forehead. ,,And my other hand _here_ ,’’ he said, his hand creeping underneath the troll’s shirt to feel his pounding heart. Nite stopped for a moment, the troll wondering what he was doing, but afraid to open his eyes. ,,You’re crying,’’ he said. His voice was as toneless as it had been when he had seen the ring.

,,I’m sorry,’’ he whispered, not daring to wipe his still shut eyes. ,,It’s okay,’’ he assured him, but Nite felt frozen on his lap.

,,… If I proceed, I cannot stop,’’ he said. ,,You can’t move when I start. It’ll take a second, but it might feel like longer,’’ he said.

,,It’s okay, I’m ready,’’ he sniffled, the tears still streaming down his cheeks.

,,Place your hands on my shoulders,’’ he said. ,,That’s not for the spell. That’s to reassure you, that I’m here. I’m not going to hurt you,’’ he promised.

Nite didn’t tell if he started the spell, but as the seconds seemed to last an eternity, he finally felt something warm and soothing on his chest. He knew it was magic, but if it was to soothe the troll, or the spell itself, he couldn’t tell. It was black underneath his eyelids, and he was awfully aware about everything around him; every sound, every feeling and every smell. He whined when he felt coldness on his forehead, much colder than Nite normally was. Combined with the heat on his chest, he felt a strange sensation pass through him.

His last thought, before he unwillingly opened his eyes, was how he in all the Realms of Aenamo had been convinced to comply to this.

Then he felt it. Like it had never left, it tickled his skin; the bristled hair, that hang down his back. His eyes flung open, and Nite’s surprised face greeted him.

,,Did it work?’’ he croaked as Nite moved his hand, gently wiping the troll’s tears away. He nodded slowly, amazed by what he had managed to do, it seemed. ,,And it’s alright? Everything is fine, right?’’ he asked nervously, looking down at his hands. His hands, with no scars.

,,Yes, I… I think so,’’ he said mesmerized, as he let his finger run through the dark brown hair. ,,… I can make a mirror,’’ he said, not paying attention to anything besides the troll. His fingers ran across the green skin, astonished with the undented, unscarred face, as he timidly approached the troll’s big, unbroken tusks. ,,You look so… _different_ ,’’ he said, the mahogany eyes wide and looking everywhere else than the amber eyes.

,,I don’t feel different,’’ he admitted, as he felt the small man touch him everywhere. ,,I would like to see,’’ he chuckled, as the long fingers ran across his arms as well. Nothing seemed easier, as Nite barely thought about it before a mirror popped up between his hands. The sorcerer looked apologetic as he handed the mirror to Seymore, as if he first remembered afterwards how magic made the troll shiver.

But Seymore was too caught up in the mirror, to really notice the sorcerer’s shame or the use of magic itself. He indeed _looked_ like his former self. No scars, no broken nose, and his tusks still standing as proud as back then. He still had his own clothes on, besides the earrings, but other than that, he felt like a whole other person.

,,It… It _worked_ …’’ he smiled quietly. ,,I look just like back then!’’ he said, laughing at how absurd it all was. ,,This is _amazing!_ ’’ he whispered, looking back at the sorcerer, who finally met the amber eyes.

,,Wow…’’ he said, smiling nervously. ,,Your eyes really weren’t sad, back then…’’ he said slowly, almost startling Seymore.

,,I… didn’t know that…’’ he smiled apologetic, lowering the mirror again. He then pulled the small man into a close embrace, gently laying down with him again. ,,Do you still find me… attractive? Or would you rather wait until later, with… _intimate_ stuff…?’’ he asked shyly, feeling the heat rise in his cheeks.

,,What? Of _course_ I do!’’ he said perplexed. ,,You’re always like this! Didn’t you listen at _all?_ ’’ he scolded, sitting up again. ,,I like _you_. It doesn’t matter what you look like, because I like _you_ ,’’ he said sternly.

,,I’m just… nervous…’’ he said, his voice shaking a little by the sternness in Nite’s. ,,I never really know… how to handle stuff like this…’’ he admitted, sitting up as well. ,,I was scared you would like this _too_ much, but then… I got scared that this wasn’t what you wanted, either…’’ he said slowly. He felt the sorcerer’s hand run through his hair again. It felt soothing.

,,You’re _so_ silly,’’ he chuckled, gently guiding the troll’s face to look at him again. ,,Take of your clothes… I want to see all of you,’’ he purred gentle against the thin lips, playfully licking them. Seymore groaned slightly, feeling the uncertainty melt away by the demanding tone in Nite’s voice.

He teasingly took off his shirt, in a playful way he had done before, back in the days, but never with Nite. It seemed to surprise the sorcerer, that looked mesmerized as the trolled stripped down, playfully throwing his clothes aside.

,,What’s the matter?’’ Seymore chuckled, standing up to do the same with his pants, slowly opening up the belt, and teasingly pulling them down, revealing more and more of his already half-erect cock.

,,I… didn’t expect… You _never_ strip like this, normally…’’ he said, his gaze wandering from the troll’s firm chest, to his abbs, and down to the barely covered dick, the pubes framing the hard member. ,, _Fuck_ , this was a good idea…’’ he mumbled, almost moaning just at the sight. Seymore felt a spike of pride at Nite’s reaction, finally undressing fully and throwing his pants aside as well.

,,This is… _very_ different from my normal self,’’ he admitted, running his hands across his body to feel the hairs all around his skin. ,,But you don’t seem that _disappointed,_ so I guess it’s alright,’’ he smiled, playfully licking his lips.

,,You look _good_ ,’’ he smiled shyly, throwing his own sweater aside. ,,But mostly… You look _confident_. And that’s… That’s very sexy…’’ he panted eagerly, as he threw the rest of his clothes away. Nite was already hard, and his dick twitched every time he looked at the troll.

,,Mm, thank you,’’ he hummed, leaning down over the small man, to finally kiss him again. It wasn’t as easy with both of his tusks, but it kept the sorcerer’s head in place, as they should. ,,You’re pretty sexy when you take control. It’s your day, Nite, and I would do almost _anything_ to make this special,’’ he whispered longingly against his lips.

,,You already have,’’ he assured him. ,,I can’t believe you _agreed_ to this,’’ he chuckled.

,,Neither can I,’’ he admitted, kissing him again. Nite curiously let his finger around the sturdy tusks, as to guide his head better. Had he done that to any other troll, he might have been in big trouble, but Seymore adored that even if he was still big and strong, this petite, little man _dared_ to take over and tell him, with or without words, that _he_ was in control. It didn’t hurt, but he followed every move Nite made.

Nite wasn’t shy about feeling up the troll. He squeezed Seymore’s chest and let his fingers run across his abbs, curiously stroking the hair on his chest or around his cock, moaning into the kiss as he did so.

,,I didn’t know you were _this_ hairy,’’ he chuckled. ,,I like it, don’t worry,’’ he said hastily, before the troll had time to apologize. ,, _This_ tickles a lot,’’ he said playfully, as the long, brown locks fell down on the sorcerer, lightly brushing against his chest and face.

,,It’s weird, having hair again,’’ he admitted. ,,Just give me a second to fix this,’’ he said, stretching his arms to tie his hair together in a messy ponytail. As he didn’t have any hairbands or ribbons, he just tied it with his hair itself, knowing he would probably not have to worry about this being a permanent thing.

,,You look _good_ ,’’ he hummed, smiling as the troll kissed him again. ,,Hey, I’m older than you are now,’’ he teased, tightly gripping the ponytail to guide him back to his lips. Seymore groaned unwillingly, feeling his dick leak down at the man underneath him.

,,No you’re _not_ , I’m 20,’’ he protested.

,,You’re a _teenager_ , and I’m an _adult_ ,’’ he mused playfully. ,,Technically you’re _still_ a teenager, just an older teenager,’’ he shrugged.

,,Well, you’re right. You are an adult now,’’ he smiled, kissing the sorcerer’s neck. ,,Although I thought you said you already _were_ an adult,’’ he teased.

,,Now it’s _official_ ,’’ he argued, gently tucking in the chain on the troll’s earring. ,,You didn’t pack any lube, did you?’’ he asked hopefully, but the troll shook his head apologetically.

,,No, I thought it would be too cold to fuck out here,’’ he admitted. ,,I can go get some…’’ he said, but Nite protested.

,,You’re awfully daring today,’’ he smirked. ,,You would leave me, _here_ , and trust that I wouldn’t try to take off? You don’t think it would tempt me, anymore?’’ he purred.

,,… No, I don’t think you would run off. But I better make sure you don’t, so turn around,’’ he smiled gently.

,,What for?’’ he asked, but turned around regardless. He felt the troll’s big, warm hands on his ass cheeks, spreading him out and gently rubbing his fingers against the tight entrance.

,,Oh come on. You’ve thirsted _all day_ for me to _dick you down_ , don’t tell me you view me as so uncreative that I can’t prepare you myself,’’ he hummed, licking his lips. ,,You’re clean, right?’’ he asked, the sorcerer nodding eagerly.

It wasn’t as easy to rim him with his big tusks in the way, so he let his tongue do most of the work. He didn’t know exactly why trolls could stretch their tongues so much, but he guessed it was exactly due to the tusks being in the way for many things. His tongue was strong and wet, and Nite didn’t seemed displeased by his efforts.

He loved the way Nite squirmed in his hands. How whimpers would leave those pale lips he longed after so much. How he would trust backwards to feel more of the troll’s tongue inside of him, as he covered him in his slick spit.

,,Come ‘ere,’’ Seymore said, pulling away to lay down again. Nite was about to get up to sit on the troll’s cock, but he pulled him to sit on top of his face.

,,This is… uhm, _very_ up close, isn’t it?’’ he asked nervously, but didn’t try to pull away as the troll began to lick him again. ,, _Fuck,_ just a moment,’’ he panted, as he turned around, placing his face above the troll’s heavy cock, his ass still being licked so generously at the same time.

He felt the small man’s lips around his throbbing cock, trying to wet it as well. He was sloppy and already drooling, although it was harder for him to really play with the troll in this position.

,,I want it,’’ he whined, spitting on the troll’s dick and getting ready to get inside him, when Seymore pulled him down on his face again. ,, _Seymore_ , come on! I want you to _fuck_ me!’’ he complained, shaking his ass against the troll’s face, which only seemed to excite him more.

Although Seymore had never been that into rimming, it still excited him to feel Nite shiver and moan on his face like this, and by all means, he didn’t want the sorcerer to be in pain when he slid into him. If it made Nite feel good, it excited him.

,, _Please_ fuck my ass,’’ he begged, whimpering as the troll finally loosened his grip in the small man. ,,No, don’t get up, I want to ride you ‘till I _break_ ,’’ he panted, firmly sitting down on the big cock, moaning as he slowly got filled up. ,,I’ve wanted this since I opened my fucking eyes. And you’ve _denied_ me the pleasure all _day_ ,’’ he whined, his movements slow, but deep.

,,Well, aren’t you glad we waited a little? This is nice, right?’’ he asked gently, leaning back and enjoying the sight. He didn’t know if Nite was aware himself, how flirtatious and feminine he could look like this, so caught up into pleasing the troll, but at the same time so turned on by it. ,, _You’re so beautiful_ ,’’ he growled, smiling to the man in front of him. It didn’t seem like Nite recognized any words, which was what he had hoped.

Even when Nite leaned all of his weight onto him, placing both of his hands on the troll’s chest, he felt light. The small man rode him like he knew no one else had dared, and even if he wasn’t _rough_ or _fast_ , he was sensual and deep.

,,It’s so weird, that you don’t have any scars,’’ he admitted, almost chuckling, but his voice felt too airy for that. ,,I kinda… _miss_ them… Like, I know it’s you, it’s your face, but… You look so _different_ ,’’ he said.

,,Is that so?’’ he smirked, stretching his back to reach the sorcerer’s lips. ,, _You’re precious,_ ’’ he growled against the spread lips. ,, _Even when I look my absolute best, you still just want_ me _, with all that involves,_ ’’ he growled, gently biting the sorcerer’s neck. ,, _You marked me long before I ever knew I would be yours_.’’

,,Are you… growling because of sex, or are you speaking troll…?’’ he suddenly asked. Nite never got an answer, because the troll kept biting the small man in his embrace, first slowly, then a little wilder, making the sorcerer whine delightfully.

,,Tell me if I bite to hard,’’ he said as he looked down on the faint, red marks on the sorcerer’s fair skin. He kissed and bit further down the sorcerer’s chest, feeling his pounding heart as he bit him, his gaze never leaving Nite’s.

,,No, it’s fine,’’ he whimpered. ,,You weren’t super hard back then either… Your dick, I mean…’’ he said, trying to get further down, but giving up when it wouldn’t go deeper.

,,No, it’s rare that I’m super hard,’’ he smiled. ,,But I see _you_ are,’’ he teased, running his finger down the stiff member. He didn’t jerk him off, but he liked to watch the sorcerer moan and thrust his hips to feel more of the warm, gruff hands.

,,You feel _so good_ inside me,’’ he smiled confidently, speeding up the pace a little. ,, _Fuck,_ I was _made_ for this…’’ he moaned, licking his lips.

,, _Damn right_ ,’’ he panted, gently guiding him further down his cock, feeling the small man shiver as he did so. ,,You’re so small, but you take me _so well_. So damn _sexy_ ,’’ he moaned, licking the sorcerer’s nipples.

Nite grabbed around the troll’s long hair again, guiding his face around his body as Seymore kissed, licked and bit him. Even though his gaze still was so needy and sensual, he dominated the situation perfectly, making Seymore touch him _exactly_ how he wanted.

,,I want… to try something else…’’ he panted, slowly getting up from the confused troll. His legs shook, before he threw himself down at the floor again, gently guiding the troll to come closer. ,,Come here… Bend over my knees… Put your dick between my legs…’’ he smiled seductively, as Seymore whimpering did as told. His heavy cock rubbed between the sorcerer’s thigs, as he felt the long, cold hands on his ass, gently caressing him.

,,… Have I been a bad troll?’’ he asked, equally confused and excited at the same time. He felt the first, hard hit from the small man’s palm, gently whining at the sudden pain.

,,No, don’t fool yourself. I can’t _punish_ you by doing this, can I? You’ve been _very_ good today,’’ he purred, hitting him again. It suddenly occurred to him, that he did it with the hand the ring was on, adding to the pleasure and pain. He felt Nite’s other hand at his chest, running his fingers through his hair again. ,,By Am, you’re sexy. No fucking wonder you bedded a pixie,’’ he said, in his particular soft voice. Seymore was about to protest, but Nite slapped him extra hard to make his focus get back on his heating ass.

,,You, a-ah, you like my hair?’’ he asked instead, breathing hard as he felt the sorcerer’s thighs tighten around his dripping cock. Nite curled the ponytail around his fingers, yanking it to make the troll look at him again.

,, _Yes_. Both this,’’ he said, tugging in the bristled, dark brown locks, ,,but _especially_ this,’’ he smirked, his fingers seeking his chest hair again. ,,I don’t mind that you don’t have hair normally. But this is _such_ a treat,’’ he admitted, spanking the troll’s ass even harder.

,,You’re goddamn _right_ it is,’’ he whined, placing both of his arms on his back, obediently taking every hit. ,,For such thin arms, you have a _magical_ hand,’’ he panted as Nite gently rubbed the heated skin.

,,You like it hard, right? You’re quite sensitive on your ass, too,’’ he said, playfully tickling his cheeks. ,,Were you just as much of a butt-slut as I am?’’ he mused, gently spreading the troll’s cheeks, which made Seymore jump by surprise. ,,What’s the matter?’’ Nite asked confused.

,,I… I don’t know if I’m… clean, for _that_ ,’’ he explained, covering his ass with his big hands.

,,Oh that’s not a problem,’’ the sorcerer smirked, lightly touching his ass again, before Seymore felt a cold chill down his spine.

,,You can’t just…!’’ he protested, but stopped when he felt the small man’s firm hand against his ass again. ,, _Nite_ , you can’t just use magic on me without my permission!’’ he whined through the spanking.

,,I know. Last time, I promise,’’ he said, running his fingers between his warm ass cheeks. Whatever protests Seymore was about to say, got cut off by the curious, playful fingers circling his asshole.

,,I… Are you _sure_ I’m clean?’’ he asked, hiding his face in his hands. He hadn’t touched himself like this in _years_ , and the silent promise of getting fingered by the small man drove him crazy.

,,I’m sure. It’s alright, Seymore. Tell me to stop, if you don’t want it,’’ he said gently, but the troll didn’t stop him. With this, Nite excitedly put his finger inside the troll, caressing his back as he did so. ,,Hm, wait a minute. I didn’t really think it would be such a tight fit,’’ he mumbled, pulling his finger out to spit on his hand, gently covering the troll to lube him up.

,,I haven’t… I haven’t fingered myself for a while…’’ he panted as he felt the finger penetrate him again. His cock was still stuck between the sorcerer’s legs, as he gently thrusted against them to get some friction. ,,You… can put another one in… Don’t be gentle,’’ he panted, refusing to look up at the small man.

,,You _are_ greedy. I like that,’’ he smirked, inserting yet another finger. He fairly easily found the troll’s prostate, first massaging it gently, before being a little rougher. Seymore wondered if Nite ever fingered himself like this, and if not, why he was so damn good at it.

Seymore hadn’t been able to come just from anal stimulation in the past, but like this, his ass in the air and his cock dripping between Nite’s legs, he almost thought it was possible. He wasn’t quiet, and he didn’t try to be, either. He enjoyed finally being in his former place, his hair pulled, his ass heated and filled, and all control gone.

,,You’re really twitchy,’’ Nite noted. ,,I didn’t think you liked this so much. I actually thought you preferred being the top, but your former partners just had been too sensitive to let you be,’’ he said, inserting yet another finger. ,,I wonder if I could fit them _all_ inside you? I wonder if you could _come_ , just like this?’’ he hummed excitedly.

,,It’s really good…’’ he moaned, feeling another finger slip in. He could feel Nite’s own cock throb impatiently, and it seemed like he noticed it as well. ,,… Do you want to… _Fuck_ …’’ he muttered, looking back at the sorcerer that seemed so invested in his newfound discovery about the troll. ,,… You could… use something _else_ than your fingers…’’ he moaned, shyly looking up at the mahogany eyes.

,,Oh, I think I _will_ ,’’ he smirked, slowly pulling his fingers out. Seymore kept his head down, as Nite got up to get behind him. He felt flustered and excited, awaiting to feel the sorcerer’s stiff dick in his ass shortly.

He wondered how he would feel. Nite wasn’t big, but he didn’t have a thin cock, either. He could probably easily get balls deep. He wondered if Nite would like it, or if they would end up with Seymore inside of him instead?

But when he felt the sorcerer spread his ass cheeks, it wasn’t his hard cock he felt; it was the soft, wet tongue, he so longingly had kissed not that long ago. Nite was direct, not shy or unsure how to eat him out, and sucking him audibly excited as he spanked the troll again, making him jump by surprise.

,,I thought you would _fuck me_ ,’’ he moaned, but couldn’t help but thrust his hips against the small man’s face. Nite’s tongue tickled him, as he moaned happily in between the green ass cheeks. The troll would lie if he denied he liked this, and he couldn’t help but to fondle himself with Nite’s tongue as deep as it could get inside his ass.

,,I never said that,’’ he protested, as he moved his face for air. ,,I’m not really interested in topping,’’ he admitted, spitting on the clenching, excited asshole, as he put his fingers inside again. ,,I mean, you do _look_ very inviting…’’ he mumbled, getting up on his knees behind the troll.

Seymore could feel the warm, hard cock between his ass cheeks, never slipping inside him, but rubbing against his entrance. He wanted to press himself against the small man, but if Nite really _didn’t_ want to top, he didn’t want to seem pushy.

,,This is interesting,’’ he mumbled, slapping the troll’s ass every once in a while. ,,Do you want me to… put it in? I mean, I can, I just… Frankly, I think you’ll get more out of it if I use my fingers or mouth…’’ he said quietly as he kept grinding.

,,What? Why would you think that?’’ the troll whined, spreading his cheeks to show himself off for the human.

,,… It’s because I’m not that big…’’ he said, rubbing himself against the troll’s awaiting ass. ,,And I _assume_ you like to be stretched as much as I do… I know you said you haven’t had any partner’s _your own size_ , but… It’s just… such a _big_ contrast…’’ he said slowly.

,,No, no, it’s fine,’’ he whined, trying to look over his shoulder to catch the mahogany eyes. ,,I want you… _so much_ , Nite… Pull my hair… _F-fuck me_ … Tell me I’m _filthy_ …’’ he whimpered, spreading himself out even more. He could feel everything in him shiver at the thought. ,,You don’t _have to_ , if you really don’t want to. But don’t let your _size_ stop you, you’re _perfect_ , I promise…’’ he blabbered, exhaling by surprise when he felt the tip of Nite’s glans right in front of his entrance.

,,I would have _never_ guessed, that this big, bruiting troll, that looked so tough and manly, would _ever_ beg for _my_ cock like this,’’ he smirked, firmly pulling the troll’s hair, guiding his face down into the pillows on the ground. ,,My ass? _Definitely._ My mouth? Sure, _why not_. Maybe even my cum in your mouth, but _never_ my dick in your slick hole,’’ he teased, scratching the troll’s back with his short nails. ,,Have you wanted this for long?’’ he asked, a little more gentle, more curious, than anything.

,, _Yes_ ,’’ he whined. ,,Ever since I fingered you the first time…’’ he admitted, shivering with every bite and scratch Nite gave him as he spoke. ,,I’m a _bad_ troll. I _need_ you to punish me, Master…’’ he begged, but Nite didn’t slip inside.

,,… Turn around, on your back,’’ he said instead, and Seymore reacted in an instant, tossing himself on his back, lifting his legs and looking hopeful up at the small man. Nite placed himself right in front of the clenching ass again, nervously looking at the troll. ,,You’re such a weird troll,’’ he chuckled, finally thrusting forward.

Nite had been right, that his fingers filled the troll more, but it didn’t matter, because when Seymore looked up at the small human, he felt so _desired_ , just by his gaze. Nite wasn’t as loud or jittery as he had thought him to be, but his eyes never left Seymore, as they wandered all across his body.

,,You just lay there, looking like a _fucking beast_ , and then all you want me to do is to _dominate_ you? _Fuck_ your ass? You’re so big and strong, but you want to be my little, pretty bottom-bitch of a troll?’’ he teased, thrusting a little harder. It felt more intense when Nite talked like this, his smile playful, maybe even downright cruel, and his eyes _hungry_ as he stared the troll down.

,, _Y-yes,_ ’’ the troll whimpered, drooling on himself. ,,You can be _rough_. Slap me. Spit on me… _Come in me_ …’’ he whined, panting like a dog in heat.

,,By everything holy, Seymore, you really _are_ a filthy troll, aren’t you? When you finally _do_ speak up, you’re not shy on _that_ ,’’ he smirked, leaning his thin body over the troll’s, trying to fuck him as hard as possible. ,,Fuck, come here. Kiss me,’’ he begged, suddenly whimpering himself as the troll leaned up to meet his lips. He bit the troll’s long tongue, sucking on it and moaning into their greedy kisses, as Seymore felt the familiar jittery motions of the small man.

He sped up for a moment, before everything tensed inside of him. He bit down on the troll’s gruff lips, even penetrating the skin slightly. When Nite finally opened his eyes again, he looked overwhelmed and concerned.

,,Fuck, I didn’t mean to-,’’ he said, panicked, but Seymore only chuckled, feeling warm and still very eager.

,,It’s okay,’’ he said gently, licking his bleeding lip. ,,Did you enjoy it as much as I?’’ he asked, reaching up to kiss the panting sorcerer again.

,,Mmmh,’’ he mumbled against the green lips. ,,I… I _thought_ I would last longer… I _barely_ put it in, I mean… I thought it would be more like masturbation, but… You’re very… _warm_ ,’’ he said quietly. He slowly felt the sorcerer slip out of him, to lay a little more comfortably on top of the troll instead.

,,It’s okay, as long as you liked it,’’ he smiled, gently kissing him again.

,,It was nice,’’ he smiled. ,,I still prefer to be the one getting _dicked down_. I never… I never thought you _actually_ missed this… I mean… You’re so big, it just… seems like a waste…’’ he chuckled nervously.

,,I’m _very_ versatile,’’ he smiled, kissing the sorcerer’s neck. ,,I do like to top. I could easily commit to either one or the other,’’ he shrugged, letting his hands glide down the sorcerer’s back.

,,Just give me a second,’’ he panted, feeling Seymore’s long nails gently scraping his skin. ,,I’m still a little sensitive, but I really want you to come inside me, too,’’ he said, falling to the side to end up on his back on the pillows again.

,,That’s okay, take your time,’’ he smiled, kissing the small man by his side. He liked to just lay and kiss Nite, feeling him getting down from his former high, and getting horny again just at the thought of feeling the troll inside of him, filling him with his aching cock.

He hadn’t been disappointed by the rather short-lived session. He wondered if Nite would want that again, or if he preferred just to bottom? He briefly feared that he somewhat had pushed the sorcerer to do it, but he didn’t look dissatisfied.

As he kissed him, he felt Nite’s hands on his body again. It seemed like he was pretty mesmerized by his chest, as he kept running his fingers through the hair, squeezing his muscles and gently pinching his nipples. Seymore weren’t as sensitive with his nipples as Nite seemed to be, but he didn’t dislike the touch the slightest. If anything, it felt thrilling that the sorcerer seemed so into re-discovering the troll’s body.

,,I maybe understand why troll’s didn’t jump on you, but in the Center Isles? You’re _gorgeous_ , Seymore,’’ he mumbled against the green lips. The troll chuckled, getting onto his back again, so Nite could easily touch him everywhere he wanted.

,,It’s a combination with my face not being that attractive, and the fact that I’m a troll. Most would assume that I fuck very… _animalistic_ , and they weren’t wrong. I’ve trained myself a great deal to not just _ram_ into my partners. You have no _idea_ how hard that is,’’ he said, watching the sorcerer’s hands go lower.

,,But you have such pretty eyes,’’ he said, almost confused as he looked at the flustered troll. ,,I mean… I always feel pretty great when you look at me,’’ he smiled, his cheeks heating up.

,,You’re very sweet,’’ he said, gently pulling his face down to his own to kiss him again. The sorcerer finally grabbed around his cock, firmly stroking it as they continued to kiss.

,,You actually _feel_ a little harder now,’’ he mused, getting all excited again. ,,Have I been teasing you for too long?’’ he purred, as Seymore chuckled and nodded.

,,I’m _really_ looking forward to come inside you,’’ he smiled, seeking the sorcerer’s lips again. At this point, he just wanted to come. His ass dripped, his cheeks were sore, and his whole body was sensitive and hungry for every touch the sorcerer gave him. ,,Can you… suck me off, for just a moment? I really like when you look up at me, with those big eyes,’’ he panted, kissing Nite dearly before he moved down between his legs.

,,You’re being _very_ good today,’’ he said gently, licking the troll’s shaft, his gaze never leaving the older man. ,,Voicing what you want me to do, that is. See, this can be _so simple_ ,’’ he hummed, drooling as he teased the tip. ,,I want… I want things to be simple, too. I think you’re very easy to be around, Seymore,’’ he said, gently sucking on the troll’s big, heavy cock.

,,I know,’’ he smiled, gently caressing the small man’s cheek. When he was like this, it was hard to imagine why he had _ever_ thought Nite wasn’t beautiful. He was _glowing_ , and it felt so safe and playful with him.

A life with Nite wouldn’t mean traveling or romantic dinners. It wouldn’t be constant exploring of himself or what life could offer. Most likely, it would be hanging out, late at night, lots of kissing and hopefully a world where Nite could help him get past some of his traumas, like he would for Nite. And if that was what life would be for him, it actually didn’t seem so bad, anymore.

,,You’re so fucking _good_ at this,’’ he groaned, slowly thrusting against the sorcerer’s open mouth. He held the back of the small man’s head, pressed down and watched how he struggled with the twitching organ. ,,You want my cock?’’ he asked, still pressing down. Nite nodded to the best of his abilities, humming loudly. ,, _Good_ , make it nice and _wet_ , and I’ll be ready for that pretty, little ass of yours,’’ he panted, finally releasing the human.

,,Come and get it,’’ he smirked, spitting a little extra on the throbbing cock, before he laid down, legs in the air. Seymore grabbed around his waist, placing himself correctly, before he slipped inside, much more roughly this time. ,,Not as gentle now, I see,’’ he moaned, biting his lip as he whimpered with every thrust.

,,Tell me to stop if it hurts… But I actually… want to _see_ something…’’ he panted, lifting the sorcerer so one of his legs where in between his own legs, and the other was over his shoulder, still inside him, still fucking him rather deep and roughly.

Then he slowed down, leaning much of his heavy body against the small man underneath him. He kept moving, but much deeper, his eyes constantly on how Nite felt. Seymore knew that Nite was flexible, flexible enough to easily bend to his desires, as he slowly stretched the human further and further down his cock.

,, _Look_ at it go. _Damn_ you’re bendy,’’ Seymore panted, licking his lips hungrily. ,,You’ve _begged_ for all of my cock for _months_. You really want it all?’’ he smirked, looking down at the nodding sorcerer.

,, _Fuck yes_ , every, fucking inch,’’ he whimpered, spreading his ass to the best of his abilities. He was rock hard again, drooling slightly as he tried to relax, feeling the troll slip further and further inside. ,,I want it,’’ he moaned, the troll leaning even further down.

Seymore pulled out a little, spat on his cock and continued, doing it as slowly and deeply as possible. He had never really cared that he couldn’t get balls deep, but it always fascinated him how greedy and horny Nite could get as he struggled with his cock like this.

,,I want to come like this, so fucking _deep_ inside you,’’ he groaned, pulling the small man a little closer. ,,You feel _so good_ , Nite. You’re so warm, you look _so_ good…’’ he moaned. Nite’s whimpers seemed more distressed now, his face flustered and his eyes watery. ,,Does it hurt?’’ he asked, stopping mid motion, but the sorcerer shook his head.

,,No, no, don’t stop!’’ he begged, gently grabbing the troll’s face. Seymore could feel the metal against his cheek, remembering the ring. ,,You’re just… You didn’t even notice, did you? Oh Seymore, you have no _idea_ how fucking beautiful you are, right now,’’ he whimpered, guiding the troll’s face down to his.

Seymore didn’t know what Nite talked about, and he didn’t get a chance to ask. The sorcerer’s kisses were hungry, and the added friction of leaning down was _exactly_ the last push he had needed. The small man moaned so loudly and violently, clinging to the troll with all his might, forcing him to fuck him this deeply, and Seymore could hardly take it. It tipped him over when he felt Nite’s teeth on his neck, marking him so longingly as he finally let himself come, his dick unbearably deep into the sorcerer, and his heavy balls slapping against the pale ass as he came.

He barely noticed as he came himself, that Nite had let his hand between his legs. Seymore only noticed, when he felt the small man clench so tightly, milking him of every, last drop, before he slowly began to pull out. They both panted heavily, just looking at each other, before the troll fell down beside Nite, still looking kindly at the small man by his side. Nite’s eyes where gentle and so full of adoration that it nearly pained him.

,,Hey,’’ the sorcerer smiled, gently petting the troll’s head. Then it hit him, when he felt the sorcerer’s fingers against his skin. ,,I like this _so_ much more, even if you’ll _never_ believe me,’’ he chuckled, as the fingers caressed the troll’s bald head.

,,I’m… It wore off…’’ he said, quickly sitting up as he finally noticed it himself. His body hadn’t felt any different even if he had been transformed, so he hadn’t noticed the spell wearing off. ,,That’s why…’’ he mumbled, looking back at the human’s gentle smile.

He faintly remembered how Ruvaen had looked at him, after their first night together. A similar smile, he thought, but this was still so different. Now, he didn’t have the luxury of being almost passable for attractive. Nite didn’t need any of that, it seemed. But he looked just as gently and lovingly at him, as if he had been the most beautiful angel he’d ever seen.

,,Thank you,’’ he smiled, slowly leaning down to kiss the small man again.

,,You really _are_ beautiful, Seymore,’’ he said gently, as the troll put blankets around them. ,,And although I might understand why you prefer how you looked before, I’m actually… _really_ grateful that you weren’t stuck like that. Because I love _all_ of this,’’ said, cuddling against the troll’s pounding chest and big, round stomach.

Seymore gently took Nite’s hand in his, kissing the ring on his finger. Maybe it wasn’t an engagement ring, but it still held promises when he looked at it. He wondered if Nite felt it, too?

,,You know, for a long time… I wondered _how_ you even _got_ with a pixie,’’ he said quietly. ,,Not because I don’t think you’re attractive, but I’m not naïve about what attract different species. And pixies aren’t exactly _known_ for bedding trolls. For a time, I thought he maybe had been different, too, but you always have this… _sparkle_ in your eyes, when you do talk about him, so I…’’ he said, before Seymore gently put his finger towards the small man’s lips.

,,He was a very normal pixie,’’ he said slowly. ,,He was very pretty and charismatic, and very kind and gentle, too. For some reason, he didn’t really care about attractiveness like that. _Beauty on the shell_ , he called it. But even so, he dated many species much more attractive than trolls. I felt… very special. And I was very lucky. Believe me, no one else understood how a troll _bedded_ a pixie, either,’’ he said.

,,… I didn’t mean it as an insult,’’ he said quietly, looking nervous up at the troll.

,,I didn’t take it as one,’’ he smiled, kissing his forehead. ,,… I sometimes think, he did it all to boost my confidence, in some way. I _know_ he didn’t, but… If anything, it ruined the last confidence I had in myself…’’ he said slowly.

,,What… _happened_ , back then? I know, I promised not to-,’’ he said, but Seymore cut him off.

,,It’s not important,’’ he sighed.

,,Of _course_ it’s important! You’re here, _years_ after, _decades after_ , still trying to process what even _happened!_ ’’ he argued, looking sternly at the troll. ,,And… it’s important to _me_ , if anything. Because you can’t convince me that’s not _part_ of the reason why you won’t be lovers. Maybe there’s all these… _other issues_ , but in the end, they all stem from _that_. They stem from what you’ve experienced, back then,’’ he said, sitting up again. His cheeks were heated, but he didn’t seem angry. He just seemed frustrated.

,,… You’re right,’’ he said slowly. ,,It’s because of my past, that I really _don’t_ want you to go through _anything_ that could be similar,’’ he said, hugging the small man from behind. ,,I don’t want to cause _further_ problems with your mother. I don’t want for you to be an _outcast_. I don’t want you to live in a world, where you feel so out of place, that you need to _flee_ from everything. Not because of _me_ ,’’ he said. He placed his legs on either side of the small man, his embrace tight.

,,… Did you want to marry him?’’ he suddenly asked. Seymore sighed, tightening his grip a little before he nodded.

,,Yes. I wanted to marry him. I wanted to adopt kids and have a little place for ourselves, when we were done traveling, but… He would _never_ be done traveling. He didn’t want kids. He didn’t want to marry or settle down. I began to think that, that was okay. That… as long as I was his… I didn’t need to get married or have kids, or anything…’’ he said, feeling his heart pound at the thought. The pain still felt too intense, even after all this time.

Nite turned around, a little flustered about the troll’s words. He looked nervous again, but didn’t pull away from the troll’s grasp. If anything, he leaned into it.

,,I… I have my own issues, too. You know how _insistently_ I’ve been on… _taking all of it_ , during sex? I really want to do all those things no one else _could_ or wanted. I… I’m actually not sure what for… Maybe I just always strived to be perfect with my mother, the perfect sorcerer, the perfect _son_ , and if I couldn’t do any of that… Maybe I could be the perfect lover, for _you_ ,’’ he chuckled nervously. ,,I… don’t want to imagine a world… where I can’t _kiss_ you. Then I rather run away to some faraway place, live in a cave for all that matters,’’ he said quietly. ,,I _love_ you,’’ he said, smiling flustered up at the troll.

He leaned up to kiss him, the touch gentle and sincere. Seymore really wanted to say it back to him, telling him that all they needed where _love_ , a lie he had prior believed with Ruvaen. But he _knew_ it wasn’t true. He knew that out there, he would still end up on his own, in some way.

,,And if you’re not _mine_ … Then, at least, I’m _yours_. I’m an adult, now. It’s… It’s not a _problem_ , anymore,’’ he argued, turning his whole body around, hugging the troll tightly.

,, _It’s okay,_ Nite,’’ he growled, surprising the sorcerer, but Nite didn’t pull away from the hug. His name stuck out in the otherwise gruff tone, like he did in most things. ,, _I know you don’t really understand. Not this, not why I won’t… And I really wish that I could just say… I love you… and mean it, and act on it, and live it…_ ’’ He smiled sadly to the confused, young man. He knew Nite didn’t understand. He wouldn’t translate it, but it seemed like he didn’t need to, either, because Nite just leaned up to kiss him again.

A world without _this_ , didn’t seem so appealing, anymore, he thought, as he wrapped his arms around the small man. Without kisses, without being touched… without _Nite_.

,,Happy birthday,’’ he said instead, when Nite slowly pulled away from the kiss. Seymore took his hand, gently rubbing the metal on the pale finger. ,,Does it irritate your skin?’’ he asked gently.

,,No,’’ he said, shaking his head. His face was flushed and his eyes confused, but he still looked so curiously at the troll. ,,If I ever go out there… and _come back¸_ and I _still_ want you… Would _that_ be enough? How do I _prove_ to you, that I won’t leave you? That I’m _serious?_ ’’ he asked, his voice small and fragile.

,,You don’t,’’ he smiled. ,,You don’t need to, I mean. It’s really not _you_ , Nite. It’s not that I don’t want _you_. I… I want all of this, _very_ much,’’ he sighed, laying down again, the sorcerer leaning in over him, to catch his gaze.

,,… But you can’t…’’ he said slowly, finishing the troll’s sentence, as he nodded. ,,… That’s bullshit,’’ he smiled, leaning in to kiss the green lips again. ,,And I can wait. I can wait _forever_ , if I have to,’’ he said gently, laying down beside the troll.

They laid like this for a bit, with Nite sighing as he looked up in the air. Seymore grabbed his hand, curling their fingers together and contemplated his life choices. But if he had to do that, he found some strange relief in not being alone with his thoughts, anymore.

,,You’re getting really good at magic,’’ he said after a while. ,,Not that you were bad before. But you’ve come a long way since I moved into the basement chamber,’’ he smiled. Nite chuckled, a sound that had been so sparse before, but now he was accustomed to it. He _longed_ for it. It was like sweet music for his ears.

,,I know, right? But I want to be even _better_ ,’’ he said, smiling and looking dreamingly up in the air. ,,I want… to rebuild it all,’’ he said, starry eyed as he stretched his free hand out into the air.

,,Rebuild what?’’ he asked. Nite looked over at him, smiling mischievously to reveal his cracked tooth.

,,… The world. I want people to know my name. I want people to _remember_ it. But mostly… I want them all to know that _I_ made the world change,’’ he smiled.

It surprised the troll to hear him speak like this, but there seemed to be no malice or evil intent in his wording. If anything, it looked like he had _really_ thought it through. He stretched his back to kiss the troll again, fondly nuzzling his face against his.

,,And I want you to be there, at my side. Don’t call me your lover, if you really don’t want to. Don’t be _mine_ , if it feels like I trap you. But I…? I’m yours,’’ he smiled. ,,Thank you, for being here, with me, Seymore.’’

In that moment, despite the slight chill Seymore felt at his words, he really didn’t mind if that was Nite’s goal. Maybe Nite _could_ turn the light around in the world.

Little did he know, that he was wrong…


	12. 12) Overloaded

The next couple of weeks where hectic, at best. While Seymore tried to push away the notion that the Madam soon would arrive home, it was hard when Nite was so stressed all the time. He barely left the troll’s side these days, but he couldn’t fully commit to be social or engage in conversation, either. When he left in the evenings to study, he would come back to his room way too late at night, sleeping restlessly and whimpering in his sleep.

Seymore did his best, trying to let the sorcerer sleep in and just sit with him when he had time for that, no words necessary, but it didn’t seem to soothe him, like it would have in the past. The troll would still knock on the study chambers heavy doors in the evening, trying to convince the sorcerer to go to bed with him, and while he did _go_ with Seymore, he would always get up again not long after, working on whatever consumed his mind in that Godforsaken chamber.

,,You can’t keep this up,’’ Seymore said one day, when Nite dozed off in the hallway. He looked surprised, as if he didn’t really know where he was. ,,Nite, you’re _hurting_ yourself,’’ he said, his voice hurt and concerned. ,,You’re so stressed, that even if we _are_ together all the time, you’re _barely_ here,’’ he said, gently cupping the small man’s cheek. The young man reached up to hold the troll’s hand, the ring still glittering on his finger.

,,I _know_ , I just can’t… _collect my thoughts_ ,’’ he said frustrated. ,,Everything will change _back,_ and I’ll… I’ll end up alone _again_ , with my thoughts, and… I don’t…’’ he began, but his voice died down.

,,It’ll be okay, Nite,’’ he promised, leaning down to hold him tightly against his body. ,,I’ll be there. I _promise_ you’ll not need to be _alone_ , anymore,’’ he whispered, gently kissing the small man’s forehead.

,,You can’t promise that,’’ Nite said quietly. His eyes were scared and tired, making him seem much older than he really was.

,,… Let’s forget about cleaning, for today,’’ he said instead, lifting the small man gently. ,,How do I make you relax? I can read for you? Or we can just take it easy, for a moment, and cuddle and talk?’’ he asked, his smile gentle, as he already headed down the hallway, back into the dark, rundown parts of Nite’s living quarters.

,,I want to _sleep_ , but I don’t want to sleep…’’ he muttered, cuddling tighter up in the troll’s embrace. ,,You really… _don’t_ have to lift me, everywhere…’’ he mumbled.

,,I barely think about it, anymore,’’ he assured him. ,,I like carrying you around. It makes me feel strong, even if you are so light,’’ he smiled.

,,… Okay,’’ he said, finally smiling back at the troll.

Nite’s room was dark and warm, the pillows and blankets still scattered everywhere as Seymore laid him down on the bed, before climbing in himself. The young man laid with his eyes closed, brows furrowed, and clearly trying not to fall asleep. The troll stayed with him, cuddled against him underneath the blankets, and felt the sorcerer melt into the softness of the bed.

,,I _thought_ we would at least had had until spring,’’ Nite mumbled, scooting closer to the troll’s embrace. ,,The last half a year have been really _nice_. That’s not because she’s not here. It’s because you _are_ ,’’ he said quietly. ,,And I _know_ you say you’ll still be here… And I get what you mean, but… All about _this_ will have to stop, right?’’ he asked worriedly.

,,That… was my intention,’’ he admitted, caressing the small man. ,,When all of this started… Back before your mother wrote to me, I did think it was best to just… _cut it off_ , when she came back. And while I was still very content in your company, regardless of any… _sexual tension_ , I don’t think I considered you as much of my friend, as I do now…’’ he said slowly. ,,… _I_ don’t want to cut things off, either. I’m not looking forward to your mother’s arrival back home, because I _like_ being able to kiss you goodnight, or to hug you when you feel upset, or just… to lay here, to cuddle and talk…’’ he smiled.

,,… But… We are going to stop all that when she comes back, are we not?’’ he asked concerned. Seymore shrugged, nuzzling his face against the sorcerer’s.

,,I… will probably not be able to sleep with you, at night. I’ll miss that,’’ he said apologetic. ,,But you’re still welcome to hang out with me when I cook or clean. We can probably still sneak away and kiss, when your mother is occupied with other stuff. But, on the other hand, I don’t want you to feel we have to sneak around because there’s something wrong with the situation… I don’t want you to feel I’m ashamed of you… It’s really not about that…’’ he promised.

,,What about… all the _other_ stuff?’’ he said hesitantly. Seymore knew what he meant, but it was hard to put into words. In the end, it wouldn’t be sex he would miss as much as kissing and sleeping together, he was aware of that. Nite’s birthday had been under a week ago, but they hadn’t had sex since then. While he wouldn’t mind that, he had been much more focused on how strangely Nite had behaved ever since, and he didn’t think sex would make him any less stressed.

,,… We’re not very subtly with that…’’ he tried, smiling nervously. ,,I mean, I’m pretty loud, too… But I would be much more concerned about hickies or bite marks…’’ he said slowly. ,,I’m not that against trying to make it work. I’m not sure… it’ll be as practical, but this will probably not be the last time your mother goes on a trip, either,’’ he smiled. ,,This is why you’re so stressed, right?’’ he asked, kissing the small man’s forehead.

,,Yes, partly. I still… have some studies, I want to get done before she arrives home. But mostly, I’m so _frustrated_ , because I can’t relax enough to _enjoy_ the time, we have together…’’ he said. ,,I rather sneak around, than _never_ have you touch me again,’’ he said softly.

He really wished that he could be sure enough that Willa wouldn’t freak out if she found out. If she could at least just accept it, it would be easy enough for them to just keep it out of her sight. He couldn’t imagine she warmly would accept him as her son-in-law, but he didn’t need that, either. He just needed safety for Nite. But considering that she had made remarks about him in the past, without ever confirming with him whether it was true or not, he wasn’t sure she would accept her son like this.

Seymore gently turned the small man to lay down on his back, placing himself above him, kissing his lips so longingly. He knew they had to discuss this further at some point, but right now, he wanted the small human to relax and feel that he was _here_ , clinging to the warmth he felt inside when he looked into those big, mahogany eyes.

These eyes would haunt him for years, he knew that. No matter how things would end up to be, he couldn’t deny that he was nearly just as dependable on Nite now, as he had been with Ruvaen before. He wanted to dedicate as much of himself to Nite as he had done to the pixie in the past, but he didn’t dare. Above everything else, his own lonesomeness, his own desires and his own feelings, he wanted Nite to live a happy, safe life, and he didn’t believe he could give him that. Someone else out there, could, he hoped.

,, _I love you_ ,’’ he growled, almost only a whisper. It didn’t seem like Nite registered anything, but it was better that way. Like this, he wouldn’t get his hopes up. Like this, Seymore wouldn’t string him along for something they couldn’t possibly be. But he couldn’t deny it, anymore. He could barely hold it in and hold back.

He let his hands run underneath Nite’s thick sweater, gently scraping his nails across his sides, making the small man wiggle underneath him. He loved how the sorcerer whimpered and grinded against him, hugging him tighter to his body and kissed him greedily at the same time.

Seymore’s touches were gentle and longingly. Just like Winter Solstice, he kissed him everywhere he could. The more he fell for Nite, the gentler he wanted to be. Where he before had had fantasies about ramming into the small man, more than anything, he wanted to make love with him so passionately that the world around them would disappear. He needed nothing besides those big, beautiful eyes, looking only at him, and the pale, thin lips, connecting to his own.

He _never_ did anything without permission. He _rarely_ asked about the things he wanted. But right now, his tongue so gently pressing against the sorcerer’s, he couldn’t think clear anymore, as he began to remove his clothes, his lips still hungrily against Nite’s.

,,I want you,’’ he whispered against the young man’s neck, opening his belt as he began to remove his pants. ,,By the _stars_ , I want you so much.’’ He felt a shiver down his own spine by how helplessly dizzy he felt, as he sought the thin lips again.

,,Wait,’’ he whimpered as the troll was about to reach for the lube, hoping to feel him tightly around his fingers before slipping into him. ,,I’m not… I haven’t…’’ he panted, feeling the troll’s teeth scrape against his collarbone. ,,Give me a moment and I can go clean up…’’

,,… You can use that spell, if you want. I don’t know if you usually use that, or if it’s uncomfortable in the long run,’’ he said slowly. ,,… Or if you want me to stop,’’ he added, finally reaching some sort of sense again.

,,No, no, it’s fine. I just… I wouldn’t use it, not _here_ , if it… _disturbed_ you,’’ he said, reaching down to touch himself. He did it as effortlessly as the other day, before he reached for the lube himself, handing the small bottle to the troll. ,,Don’t stop. I _really_ want it. I’ve just been so caught up in my own head, that I haven’t even noticed the lack of-,’’ he began, but stopped when Seymore kissed him again, gently lubing him up with his big, coarse fingers, making the small man whimper greedily again.

,,It’s okay, I understand,’’ he smiled, feeling hot and bothered every time he heard the slick noises the sorcerer’s ass made.

,,I sometimes still forget that you… Well, _normally_ , you don’t initiate yourself,’’ he moaned, moving the slightest to pull his sweater off, laying back down completely naked. ,,But you _can_. I don’t mind. If I’m not into it, I’ll tell you, don’t worry,’’ he panted, feeling another finger inside.

,,I’ll try,’’ he said, his voice raspy and dripping with horniness. There was a slight desperation in his need for closeness. He couldn’t explain what so suddenly had come over him, other than he didn’t want Nite to worry. He wanted all his attention, on their time _right now_.

Seymore made good on his promise. He fucked the sorcerer long and slowly, spending all day in bed with him afterwards. He made sure to touch Nite all the places he knew he liked, and made sure he was in pure extasy before either of them came. And when he didn’t try to connect them physically, they just laid in bed, and talked about all those things that made life seem easy and simple and good.

He did this a little more adamantly the other days as well. When Nite seemed so lost in his thoughts at breakfast, he just simply cleared enough space to lay the small man down on the wooden-table, repeating his desperate need for closeness from the day prior. The sorcerer had seemed surprised and flustered at first, but he soon enough indulged just as much as he normally did, feeling a new form of excitement at the rather primitive way the troll manhandled him. Despite what Nite said, he liked to be lifted, he liked to be tossed around, and even if the sorcerer liked to dominate, he liked that Seymore _took_ him without further notion.

The troll repeated this at random times throughout the days. Not always just when Nite seemed too caught up in himself or too stressed, but also simply because he sat around the troll, looking so tempting, without even knowing it himself. He would gently remove whatever book Nite was reading, before kissing him that _particular_ gentle way, slowly getting deeper as he hummed against the thin lips, that the sorcerer soon learned would mean he wanted to feel more of him. Or he would coax him into taking a shower with him, barely be able to clean them off, before they got dirty and sweaty again.

But he knew as soon as the sorcerer wasn’t into it. He didn’t even have to say anything. Seymore didn’t know if Nite did it on purpose, but if he only wanted to kiss, and not get more heated than that, he didn’t place his arms around the troll’s broad shoulders. He would put his hands on them instead, just as when he had said _thank you_ in the past, and Seymore didn’t push it further than that. Despite Nite being so fluctuating all the times, he found it easy to read his body language.

It _seemed_ like Nite relaxed more, now. Seymore couldn’t help but to feel stupid for holding back all these months, when Nite made it so _easy_ for him to feel sure that he wouldn’t push any set boundaries. It didn’t make anything easier for the troll, if anything, he felt closer to the younger man now, than ever before. As the days creeped closer, it seemed so _tempting_ to flee, together, but to where? Willa had made it exceptionally clear that she would _find_ Nite, wherever he escaped to, and Nite made it clear that he wouldn’t be able to hold up any kind of shield to protect him from traction forever.

As the days passed by, Nite began to study in the daytime again. He went to bed earlier, stayed in bed, and slept a little longer than Seymore did, but in return, he would study while the troll cleaned. It worked out for the most part; Seymore got more done, and Nite didn’t feel so guilty for not studying enough.

Seymore hadn’t really heard screaming or explosions from the study chamber in months. Maybe muffled sounds of anger, or maybe something breaking, but the shriek he suddenly heard made his blood run cold.

Normally, the troll would have ran away from the sound, given it was most likely due to magic. But the sheer pain and volume in Nite’s voice made Seymore react, dropping everything in his hands to run to the heavy chamber doors, not even hesitating before he knocked them open.

And there he was; on the floor, clutching his stomach in pain as electric sparkles flew around him, much like the day his mother had left, when he had broken the chandelier. He vaguely looked at the troll, before his gaze returned to pain and he turned away.

,, _Go!_ ’’ he panted, huffing brutally, as if he couldn’t catch his breath.

,,What’s going on?’’ he said panicked. Instead of turning away, he hurried to the sorcerer’s side, kneeling beside him. He hesitantly reached out for the young man, but Nite stopped him.

,, _Don’t touch me! I-it’s okay, Seymore! I’m just… overloaded!_ ’’ he said, voice shaking and his eyes glossy. ,, _It’s not you, nothing’s_ wrong, _I just don’t want to_ hurt _you, so_ please _leave,_ ’’ he begged.

But Seymore didn’t go. He sat in front of the young man instead, trying to calm his beating heart. He barely noticed the magic itself, but the pain in Nite’s voice couldn’t escape him.

,,What can I do?’’ he said, as calmly as he could, but Nite just shook his head. ,,Will it pass by with time?’’ he asked. The sorcerer nodded slowly, huffing and puffing for air. ,,… Then I’ll stay…’’ he said calmly.

,, _No!_ ’’ he whined. ,, _Aren’t you_ afraid _of me? I-it’s so out of control! I can_ barely _breathe,_ ’’ he panted, his hands clutching his head instead. ,, _I’m so_ stressed _,_ ’’ he admitted.

Nite’s eyes had been closed, but they flung up when he felt the troll’s hands on his shoulders. He looked confused and horrified, as he watched the older man’s face twitch in pain, but only briefly, before he smiled at the human in front of him.

,,It’s okay,’’ he assured him, moving a little closer. His grip was tight and twitching, but enough to make Nite focus on that instead. ,,You’re so _hard_ on yourself, Nite. You always scold me for working too much, but _you’re_ also working very hard. But it’s okay. I’m here, _right_ here. And I’m not afraid of you,’’ he assured him, squeezing his shoulder’s tightly, before moving his hands, on top of the sorcerer’s, that still clutched to his head. ,,You’ve tried this before?’’ he asked, gently running his finger across the ring. It soothed him to feel the cold metal.

,, _Y-yes… My mother… My mother helps me, I can’t… I can’t do it myself,_ ’’ he said, closing his eyes again.

,,I want to help. How does she help you?’’ he asked, but Nite shook his head again, furiously this time. His face was red and his breath shallow, his motions panicked. Whatever his mother tended to do, seemingly set him more off than calmed him down. ,,Okay… Okay… Then, listen to my voice… Can you do that?’’ he asked. It took him a moment, but Nite finally nodded, looking up at the troll. ,,I’ll… I’ll tell you about my family… You’ll have something else to focus on… Is that alright?’’ he asked, smiling as the sorcerer nodded again.

Seymore’s hands were numb, but it didn’t matter. He had never seen Nite react this way, and no matter how frightful the sight was, paled in comparison to the fear in the young man’s eyes when he asked how his mother helped him.

,,My parents met when they were young. Sweethearts from a young age. They both came from the Oatoak clan, both from pretty normal families. They got my oldest brother, Malak, when they were barely 50. That’s pretty average for trolls. I’ve been told my mom really enjoyed motherhood, when she was younger,’’ he told, watching Nite carefully.

He kept talking. All those questions he never really answered. How Malak had mostly been very kind, possibly due to the big age-gap between them, at nearly 30 years. How his other brothers, Jabir and Teshi, always loved to make trouble. For him, for his parents, just about everyone else than themselves. They were each-others best friends. And how his sister, Feylin, always had tried to help Seymore through his hard times in life, even when he was too stubborn to receive any help. How he often wondered how his nieces and nephews where doing. If they would have liked him, like his sister once had. Feylin had partnered up with an older troll, and had her first child when she was no more than 25.

,,What was your parents’ names?’’ Nite asked suddenly, his voice no longer breathy and pained, but his posture still crumbled all together.

,,Ditid and Zulrea,’’ he smiled, running his hands across Nite’s cheeks. ,,My dad is… My dad _was_ Ditid,’’ he corrected himself, barely noticing that he had misspoken. ,,Do you feel better?’’ he asked gently.

,,A little…’’ he said, smiling painfully. ,,… Does your hands hurt?’’ he asked, running his thumbs down the troll’s numb hands.

,,Not much,’’ he assured him, pulling away to try to get some blood circulating back into his arms. He didn’t know how long they had sat like this, but he had talked for so long that his mouth felt dry. Maybe it was due to the fear he had felt. ,,The static stopped,’’ he noticed, taking the sorcerer’s long, cold hands in his own again.

,,Yerh… Thanks to you,’’ he smiled, finally looking like himself again. Seymore leaned in, kissing him gently, his embrace tight around the small man.

,,No problem,’’ he whispered, feeling his body shake, as if he finally understood what had just happened. Nite seemingly noticed, because he pulled away to look at the troll again.

,,Are you hurt?’’ he asked, looking down at the troll’s hands again. Slight bruises plastered the green skin, which didn’t make the sorcerer seem any calmer. ,, _Oh no_ ,’’ he whispered, the concern back in his eyes.

,,It’s _fine_ , Nite. If you feel better, then it’s fine,’’ he assured him, but he couldn’t help but to notice that as the numbness vanished, the pain set in.

,,I can heal you. _Please_ let me heal you!’’ he begged, holding dearly to the troll’s hands as he tried to pull them away. ,,I _know_ that you hate it, and I-,’’ he began, but Seymore cut him off.

,,You need to rest, right? If your magic overwhelms you, you shouldn’t use it for a while. You need to _recharge_ ,’’ he said calmly, trying to remember everything Nite had told him over the past months. He nodded begrudgingly, but still held onto the troll’s hands.

,,It’s just a tiny spell, Seymore. It won’t hurt, I promise,’’ he said, his voice quivering. ,,I hurt you. My magic _hurt_ you,’’ he said, shaking slightly. ,,I didn’t mean to, I _swear_ , I didn’t mean to!’’ The panic grew, as his hands shook around the troll’s.

,,I know… You can heal me _later_. Now, you need to rest,’’ he said firmly, trying to stand up, but shaking as he did so. His whole _body_ felt weak. He hadn’t noticed it as he had sat with Nite, too focused on the young man to even register the pain and stress his body felt, but now, it was hard to even stand up.

,,You don’t understand,’’ he whispered. ,,She’ll be so _mad_ ,’’ he said, his gaze wandering all around.

,,… Your mother? She’s not here, Nite. She’ll not know, I promise not to tell her,’’ he said, trying to calm him down, but Nite just shook his head violently. It all felt so weird to him, that he would react this strongly to the thought of his mother, if she usually helped him with matters like these. ,,… Tell me, what _is it_ she does to help you calm down from this?’’ he tried again, but Nite’s eyes where closed and his body shook. ,,… Is she mistreating you?’’ he asked, a cold chill down his spine.

,,No, _no!_ Well, she’s… It’s not _nice_ , but it’s _necessary_ , and then it all goes back to normal,’’ he tried. ,,It’s like… she pulls _out_ the overloaded energy… It sounds _bad_ but it’s really _common_ ,’’ he tried to assure him. Seymore sat down again, too dizzy to stand on his own, as he watched the young man in front of him.

,,… No, it’s not necessary. Because, if it was… then you wouldn’t feel better now, would you?’’ he said gently. Nite looked at him, dumbfounded as he took in the troll’s words.

,,… You’re… _right_ …’’ he said slowly.

,,I don’t know anything about magic, Nite. Not outside of what you’ve told me, and what I remember. But I know about _you_. I know you get stressed and overwhelmed, but I know you like to listen and learn… even when you’re confused and in pain… _Please_ come with me, let’s sit together, for a while…’’ he tried, gently reaching for the sorcerer’s hand. The silver had faded and become darker, as a result of the magic spikes, he guessed.

,,I ruined it…’’ he said, his brows furrowing. ,,I didn’t mean to…’’ he said, looking awkwardly up at the troll.

,,I know. It’s not broken, not the slightest. Now, it just has some character,’’ he smiled, trying to pull himself up again, this time, a little easier than before. Nite stood up too, just as shakenly as the troll had, still holding his hands.

,,Let me heal you, Seymore. It’ll be quick, I promise. But I can’t stand looking at that, knowing _I_ did it,’’ he begged. The troll’s browbone furrowed, before he gently placed Nite’s hands around his own, nodding as he smiled.

,,You won’t let it go otherwise, will you? Then do it, but be careful, please,’’ he said, looking away as he healed the big, coarse hands.

,,… It seems silly that you won’t look at this, when you _just_ saw all of _that_ a minute ago,’’ Nite said quietly. ,,I… can’t believe you did that, for me…’’ he said, gently squeezing the troll’s hands as they stopped hurting.

,,I panicked. I didn’t know what to do,’’ he admitted, caressing the small man in front of him. ,,I was really scared. But, not about the magic… Not about myself… I was really scared something would happen to you,’’ he said quietly. ,, _Please_ don’t work yourself up like this, Nite. I don’t want to stress you, I want to _help_ you,’’ he said sincerely.

,,… It’s because she’s coming home soon,’’ he admitted. ,,I don’t know _exactly_ when, but _too soon_. I… I _almost_ planned to… escape… But… I _can’t_ … You’d be in trouble and… I don’t… I _don’t_ want to leave you,’’ he said beggingly. ,,But it’s just really _unfair_ that we _have_ to go back to as things was,’’ he said frustrated.

,,Things will never be, as they once were,’’ he smiled gently, leading the sorcerer to sit down on the throne in the study chamber. He had never _seen_ Nite sit on it, and he had somewhat thought the young man would seem small and fragile, but Nite did anything but that. It oddly soothed him. ,,Regardless of how things will be… _this_ will always be a part of me. Not a bad part, mind you. And I can only hope… that it wasn’t a bad part for you, either,’’ he said gently.

,,It’s not,’’ he promised, gesturing for Seymore to come closer. The troll didn’t have to lean down that much to reach the small man’s lips, as they shakenly kissed each other. They were both tired and drained, but Seymore couldn’t help but to feel complete when he looked into those big, dark orbs that graced his dreams at night, and his reality in the daylight.

,,Good,’’ he smiled, leaning his knees against the throne to relax his body against it. ,,Despite how angry and frustrated you can get… and how hard I _know_ you can hit… Despite how lost in your own thoughts you sometimes are… I’ve _never_ been with anyone as sincere and _gentle_ as I know you are. And I really appreciate, more than anything… that I’ve gotten the opportunity to get to know you, like this,’’ he smiled before kissing the small man again.

,,I’m really not,’’ he croaked against the green lips. His eyes seemed concerned again, when he met the amber ones. ,,Everything I do… In the end, it’s because _I_ want to, or I want _something_ out of it… I’m just really… _selfish_ , aren’t I?’’ he muttered, looking down again.

He somehow knew there was some sort of truth to this. It made sense that many of the things Nite did for the troll, was to further himself in some way; Do nice things for him, so he would gain nice things back, or explore things Seymore liked, to gain his trust.

But he didn’t believe that was _all_ Nite was. Maybe because he didn’t want to? Maybe because it seemed unlikely for him, that this confused, young man, should be so manipulative that he had planned all this from the very start. If anything, Nite had latched on to him, as one of the few good things around him, clutching to the hope for escape to a reality very far from what he had lived before.

,,We’re all a little selfish,’’ Seymore said instead, placing his arms on either side of the small man. ,,But _I_ think you’re pretty great,’’ he smiled, leaning in again. Their kiss was long, making his tired mind awake anew. He had wanted to fuck him on his throne for _so_ long, but he wasn’t sure this was the right move. His body still felt sore by the whole ordeal.

Nite clung to his back, slightly whimpering against the troll’s lips. He could _feel_ how the small man grinded against him, already seemingly hard, making the troll a little bolder. A little less cautious. His mind slipping, as he rather roughly pushed against the sorcerer, only pulling his lips from his to kiss and bite his neck instead.

,,Can you… slow down, a little?’’ Nite panted, still grinding against him as the troll lifted the sorcerer’s thick sweater, his tongue circling around his nipple. ,,Seymore, _please_ listen…’’ he whined, jittering as the troll’s hands grabbed him, as if he didn’t hear or register what was going on around him. ,, _Will you stop already?_ ’’ he whined, hiding his face in his hands, as the troll finally pulled away, looking confused at the small man in front of him.

,,I’m sorry…’’ he whispered, viciously shaking his head. ,,I don’t know what came over me…’’ he said slowly as his gaze never left the man in front of him. Nite seemed flustered and confused, but not in that way where he still wanted to be touched and kissed.

,,It’s okay,’’ he assured him, but Seymore kept shaking his head.

,,No it’s _not_. I’m sorry, Nite, I didn’t mean to push you. I thought I read you right,’’ he said, feeling his body cool.

,,You… You _did_ , I mean… I _am_ hard… It _feels_ nice,’’ he assured him. ,,I’m just… I’m tired and sore… I panicked, I didn’t mean to yell,’’ he said, trying to get the troll to come closer, but he didn’t dare.

,,This is what I meant,’’ he said, creating distance between himself and the throne. ,,This is _why_ I need space or want to create distance between us, this is why I’m afraid to hurt you, I didn’t _listen_ ,’’ he said, still shaking his head. His knees felt weak. He had been too ingulfed in the small man for far too long to hold back.

,,Hey,’’ the sorcerer said gently, standing up as he came closer to the scared troll. ,,Seymore, you _just_ helped me. Calm down, you _did_ stop, see? You’ve _never_ hurt me, and now you’re all scared when nothing happened,’’ he tried, gently taking the troll’s hands. ,,And normally I wouldn’t _mind_ you all over me. You must _know_ that, by now. Even if you’ve been very _direct_ the last couple of days, you’ve _always_ respected my boundaries, _even_ when I haven’t said a thing,’’ he said.

,,I’m sorry,’’ he whispered again, leaning down to rest his tired, confused head on top of Nite’s.

,,You work yourself pretty hard, too. I don’t mean cooking and cleaning alone. You’ve taken very good care of _me_ , too. Don’t beat yourself up over _this_ ,’’ he said, trying to smile. ,,Do you… need a little space from me? To collect yourself, I mean?’’ he asked slowly.

,,No, I don’t want to,’’ he whispered, slowly putting his arms around the small man. ,,I want to know you’re alright. With your magic, with… with this… I _need_ to know you’re _safe_ … But I don’t _feel_ like _I’m_ safe, right now…’’ he said, his body shaking again.

,,You’re heavy,’’ he noted, as the troll slowly stood up again. ,,I mean… I’m still a little dizzy, from all that…’’ he tried as he took the troll’s hand, guiding him out of the room.

,,I know, I’m sorry…’’ he said, following the small man into his bedchambers. Seymore stopped in the hallway, looking into the dusk room, wondering if this was wise or not.

,,It’s okay, Seymore. The bed is big. You don’t have to cuddle up against me, if you don’t want to,’’ he said, taking his shoes off before he laid down.

,,It’s not that I _don’t_ want to,’’ he said, slowly approaching. ,,Why doesn’t it effect you more, that I… _nearly_ did something, you didn’t want me to?’’ he said, sitting down beside the small man.

,,Because you _stopped_ ,’’ he said, blinking confused. ,,… And because we’re both worked up. About lots of things. You just saved me a lot of pain, and you just _willingly_ told me a lot about your family and your past. You’re very tired, and… you want me to think about something else… You want to think about something else, too… I don’t _blame_ you for not taking a hint, because I _did_ want it, until I didn’t… And when I didn’t… you _stopped_ ,’’ he said, tiredly rubbing his eyes.

,,But it took me too long,’’ he insisted. Nite shrugged, looking at the ring on his finger.

,,Yerh, maybe. But, I don’t feel any discomfort about you now. And I don’t feel any less safe with you,’’ he said, gently rubbing the dark metal. They were quiet for a while, only their breaths filling the room with sound. ,,Don’t you ever just… want to flee?’’ he asked instead, changing the topic again.

,,I already did that, once,’’ he said, laying down beside the small man. They were placed with the heads in different directions, but their faces were still right beside each other. ,,You really thought about escaping? _Now?_ ’’ he asked slowly.

,,I know, it was stupid. That’s what set me off,’’ he admitted. ,,I want you to come with me,’’ he said, looking up at the ceiling.

,,She’ll find us,’’ he said. ,,… Your mother is definitely not the woman I’ve thought she was, but she has always been rather kind to me, Nite. She doesn’t need to, as I’m only her servant. Sure, I could have a nicer living space, or better clothes, but I’m rather well paid, and she doesn’t scold me for not being fast enough at cleaning,’’ he said. ,,I’m not… _dissatisfied_ here. Even _if_ I went with you… I don’t know if I could get another job… I have _savings_ , but we can’t survive off of them for forever,’’ he explained.

,,I have savings as well,’’ Nite shrugged. ,,I could get a job?’’ he suggested, making the troll snicker. ,,It’s not _funny_ ,’’ he scoffed.

,,I’m sorry,’’ he said gently. ,,It’s just… such a _wild_ thought,’’ he said dreamingly. ,,… Do you _hate_ your mother?’’ he asked gently. Nite was silent for a time, before he spoke again:

,,No. I don’t… see eye to eye, with her. And I prefer this, that we don’t live together, but… She also helps me, mostly with my studies, so I’m not… _too_ upset… But I also feel very _weird_ about everything… Well, somehow, it makes sense why she treats me like a bother or a failure, if she… if she didn’t really _want_ me…’’ he said slowly. ,,… Do you hate your parents?’’ he asked, looking slightly over at the troll.

,,… No. I’ve sometimes wished I could be the son they hoped for, but… I can’t. And with time… I actually think that’s alright,’’ he smiled. ,,I would never go back, willingly… and it doesn’t look like I can, either, but… I don’t hate them…’’ he said gently. ,,Is your mother mistreating you?’’ he asked again, a slight concern in the amber eyes.

,,In some sense, she probably is. Isolation has done nothing good for me, and she has never given any indication of _trying_ to understand me, but she’s not hurting me, if that’s what you’re afraid of. The things she does to calm me down, when my magic is out of control, is painful, but so is the state itself. She isn’t punishing me when I don’t progress in my studies, she’s simply just…’’

,,… Disappointed,’’ he finished, knowing the feeling all too well. ,,I know that feeling,’’ he said, remembering why he had connected so surprisingly well with Nite in the beginning. Now, he had fallen for him, and it all seemed so far away. The silence fell again, as Seymore just laid and gazed upon the small man by his side. Wondering how he would wiggle both of them, unharmed, out of this situation.

,,Why did you react so strongly about… not stopping _quickly_ enough? Isn’t stopping _good enough?_ ’’ he asked, his eyes fixated to the ceiling. Seymore had wondered when he would ask, but he still didn’t feel ready to talk about matters like these.

,,… Let me tell you about trolls, Nite,’’ he said gently, looking at the ceiling as well, before he closed his heavy eyelids. ,,Trolls are pretty rough when they mate, you know that, already. When I arrived to the Center Isles, I’ve only ever been with troll women, that was all I knew off. I was… a young man, looking for love. Sure, I didn’t _mind_ hooking up with girls, but I hoped… I hoped to find a girlfriend,’’ he said, clutching his shirt in his hands.

Nite didn’t say anything, but he didn’t dare to look to his side. Maybe the young man had fallen asleep, but if not, he probably wondered why the troll didn’t continue at this point.

,,I was always very forceful. It didn’t occur to me that I was doing anything wrong, before I made a girl cry,’’ he said, his voice quivering. ,,I had always _wondered_ why none of my dates led to anything more, but in that moment, it occurred to me _why_. I couldn’t apologize enough. I felt so _disgusting_. She wasn’t really mad at me, she said, but I understood why she wouldn’t go out with me again. Truth be told, I could barely look her in the eyes, after what I’ve done.’’

,,… Are you afraid that you’ll _rape_ me?’’ he asked, more confused than concerned.

,,… Yes,’’ he said, covering his face with his arm. ,,It wasn’t the same problem with men. Probably because I didn’t top. My former lover tried to _tame_ me, to the best of his abilities. And it has worked, for the most part, but sometimes, my mind still slips, and I still fear that I’m too forceful with you,’’ he whispered.

,,Normally you’re not,’’ he assured him, gently removing the troll’s arm. ,,… I’m afraid to hurt you, too. Not _like this_ , but… I’ve _never_ felt so _horrified_ as when I saw your hands today… knowing that _I_ did it… And I can only _imagine_ what happened, back then, with your face…’’ he said gently, sitting slightly up to run his fingers across the scars on Seymore’s face. ,,I already _know_ trolls are rough. You’ve told me, I’ve _seen it_ , but… I’ve read about troll’s even before we ever… _did anything_ ,’’ he said, his face heating slightly.

,,I know you read about trolls, but… their mating habits, too?’’ he asked surprised.

,,… Do you remember that book you looked through, right before you… _touched me_ , for the first time?’’ he asked awkwardly as the troll slowly nodded. ,,You said you couldn’t read it, and I believe you, because it’s written in elvish. But that’s a book about anatomy, and things about sexual tendencies. I was… _curious_ , because I… I got a lot of _ideas_ after I’d seen you half-naked, but I don’t really have any books on ‘How to court a troll’,’’ he explained, looking as flustered as ever.

,,That makes sense,’’ he said, gently caressing the man in front of him. ,,… What was written about trolls, then? I’m curious,’’ he admitted, turning around to lay on his side.

,,Well, it said that trolls are pretty big and pretty rough. I didn’t really think that… two _men_ could have sex, so I might have glossed over that part,’’ he shrugged. ,,When you began to… _finger_ me, I revisited that book,’’ he said.

,,… Where you scared? About our first time?’’ he asked gently. Nite turned around as well, shaking his head slightly.

,,No… You’re not as rough as other trolls are described to be. Even if you slip up, sometimes… And really, I normally don’t mind when you’re a little rougher,’’ he said, chuckling as he did so. ,,I think our fears are similar. Even if the source of them is different,’’ he said, his voice soft and melodic. But even if he spoke in that weird, dreamingly soft voice he normally did when he talked with himself, Seymore _knew_ he talked to him. He felt a strange rush of sentimentality that he had somewhat crossed a barrier, being so much in Nite’s space that he almost where _a part of him_.

Seymore leaned in to kiss the sorcerer again, but he hesitated before he got to close the space between them. Nite didn’t; he leaned forward as he normally would, chuckling as it wasn’t as easy to kiss like this as when they faced the same way. It was catchy, his laughter, and Seymore felt his former fears melt away again.

,,You’re pretty great at kissing, when you’re not upside down,’’ Nite chuckled, leaning in again. The touch was light and airy, making the troll hum gently against the pale lips.

,,You’re not bad yourself,’’ he smiled, sitting up to move beside the sorcerer, so both faced the same direction. ,,You’re a quick learner,’’ he said, kissing him again, much easier, this time.

,,Yerh, I know,’’ he said confidently. ,,I don’t have much of a reference point… But, I think you’re a pretty great teacher,’’ he said. Seymore gently caressed the small man in front of him, looking down at his healed hands.

,,Do you feel a little better?’’ he asked instead.

,,Just tired,’’ he said, nodding slightly. ,,I really didn’t think I would get so overworked. It hasn’t been like this since my mother left. I _thought_ I had better control now,’’ he said, slightly disappointed in himself, it seemed. ,,I… I’m very _grateful,_ that you helped me,’’ he said, hugging the troll’s broad body with his thin arms. ,,I really am…’’ he whispered.

,,You’re welcome, Nite,’’ he said quietly. The sorcerer dozed off, and as he awoke anew, it was as it had never happened.

As the days went by, Willa delayed her return. First by a couple of days, then another week. February turned to March, and soon enough, the frozen winter wonderland outside the castle melted away and left the place wet and muddy instead. Mokar rarely got green and flowery, not even in the aspiring spring.

Some days, Seymore almost forgot that the Madam would soon return home. He made sure Nite ate and got some sleep, and he desperately tried to get him to slow down his studies.

But Nite was as _possessed_ when it came to this. He wasn’t sure why. Truthfully, maybe he just had an obsessive personality, he hadn’t really known him or his habits before he moved into this part of the castle. But it still seemed _unlikely_ that this was just normal studying.

He couldn’t pry too much, though. The sorcerer seemed to be more irritated, the more he asked about it, which didn’t seem like him at all. Nite had _always_ wanted Seymore to like magic, and loved to talk and explain all sorts of things related to magic. But not this. The only thing he knew about it, was that the book wouldn’t budge.

It had been weeks after Nite’s incident, and as the sorcerer hadn’t mentioned it since, Seymore did neither. The troll wasn’t as forward with his lust after the small man anymore, and mostly waited for Nite to make a move. They still slept together at night, and the troll tried to soothe him to the best of his abilities.

But then one day he heard the bloodcurdling scream again. He was even further away from the study chamber this time, but the scream rung in the old castle walls, as he ran around corridors and down stairs to get to the pained sorcerer. But as he hastily opened up the doors, the sight that met him surprised more than frightened him.

Nite seemed to be in just as much pain as last time, but he wasn’t alone. Above him stood the Madam, her hand weightlessly above the young man on the floor, as vaguely colored particles left his body, into her hand. Willa looked back at the troll, just as surprised to see him, as he was her, but his surprise soon faded and became worry again, when Nite looked up at him, his eyes exhausted and apologetic.

,,I wouldn’t have thought-,’’ she began, but Seymore interrupted her before she could finish her sentence.

,, _Please_ stop, I can help him. It… It doesn’t have to be like this,’’ he said, kneeling by the sorcerer’s side and completely ignoring Willa.

,, _Help him?_ ’’ she scoffed. ,,You cannot _help_ him without pulling the magic out, silly troll,’’ she said, her voice still stern.

,,But I’ve _done that_ ,’’ he insisted, gently holding the sorcerer’s hands. He wouldn’t admit it, but Nite already looked like he felt better, the sparkles already fading tremendously.

,, _Really?_ Because as far as I’m concerned, it only looks like it settled for a moment. When did you _help_ him?’’ she said, removing her hand as Nite tiredly got up on his feet. He hadn’t been able to do that as easily last time. Seymore still kneeled, looking flustered around.

,,… Some weeks ago,’’ he said quietly. Nite hid his hands in his pockets, swaying slightly as he gestured for Seymore to stand again.

,, _Exactly_ ,’’ she said sternly. ,,Go to your room, get some rest. We’ll talk later,’’ she said, as gently as she could, looking at her son. Nite nodded, and without a word, he left the room anew. It felt deafening quiet all of a sudden, and the otherwise familiar room seemed looming. ,,I… I didn’t mean to sound so stern, Seymore. If you’ve helped him calm down from _this_ , then I’m very grateful. But it’s very _necessary_ to get the magic out, and I don’t… expect you to understand,’’ she said slowly.

,,But it’s _hurting_ him,’’ he croaked, feeling small even if he looked down at the woman in front of him. She was about to speak again, when she suddenly noticed something; the glimpse of the earrings.

,,When did you get earrings?’’ she asked, completely ignoring their prior conversation. ,,Did he give them to you?’’ His blood ran cold at the sheer look in her eyes, her otherwise warm eyes turning dark and cold, as if she hated the mere thought. He had never thought of the consequences if he still wore them when she got home, and now it was all but too late.

,,Ma’am, that’s not important right now…’’ he tried, but she wouldn’t budge. She held out her hand, expecting him to hand his precious earrings over, it seemed.

,,I need to see them, Seymore,’’ she said, sternly awaiting.

,,These were a _gift_ ,’’ he insisted. His knees felt week, even though he had barely helped Nite with his outburst. If it was due to the demand in the Madam’s voice, or the slight look of panic in her eyes, he couldn’t tell.

,,I _need_ to know these aren’t _hexed_ , Seymore! You behave _strangely_ , to say the least! Running towards the boy, when he acts like this, defying my orders!’’ she said, stepping closer with her hand still expectantly waiting for him to hand her the earrings.

,,They are not!’’ he argued, stepping back, but he tripped. He feared she would notice the rune, as he himself had, but he didn’t know if she could even read runes. He didn’t know what she would think of it, if she could. ,,I’ll take them off, but these are _mine!_ ’’ he insisted, clumsily fidgeting with them, as he tried to put them away into his pocket, but the Madam was too quick and snatched them from him.

,,If they aren’t hexed, you can get them back. I won’t break them, I promise,’’ she said, looking down at the dainty, detailed jewelry in her hands. ,,… Why in Am’s name would he give you _earrings?_ ’’ she asked confused.

,,… I asked for them,’’ he said hastily, though this didn’t seem less confusing for the sorceress. ,,As… a way to _connect_ with him, and his… magic…’’ he said slowly. ,,I’m aware they are _made_ with magic, Ma’am. But they aren’t hexed. He has been nothing but _kind_ to me, to the best of his abilities, I _promise_ ,’’ he tried, but Willa scoffed again.

,,What’s gotten into you?’’ she asked again. ,,You seem so… different…’’ she noted, as he stood up again. ,,Has he been troublesome?’’ she asked, looking down at the metal in her hand. His heart skipped a beat, as she rolled the helix piece between her fingers, inspecting the charm.

,,He hasn’t,’’ he promised. ,,I… I did as you told me to… I’ve been there for him, keeping him occupied, so he wouldn’t try to escape… to the best of my abilities…’’ he said slowly, looking down at his bare feet. The Madam was quite for a while, not really paying much attention to his words, it seemed.

,,… Something’s wrong with this,’’ she said, making the troll look concerned anew. But it wasn’t the helix piece she held, anymore; it was the moon. ,,I can’t… _quite_ figure out what he did, but… there seem to be… _something_ on this… For how long have you worn these?’’ she asked without looking at him.

,,… About two months,’’ he told her, eyeing the earrings anew. He _had_ speculated that Nite had somewhat put a spell on the earrings, but if he had; had it worked? He couldn’t tell. He didn’t feel any different _right now_ , than he had done before he removed the earrings.

,,Then it’s probably worn off,’’ she shrugged, handing him back the earrings. ,,I _told_ you to be careful,’’ she said, almost disappointed.

,,I’m aware,’’ he said, looking down at the so beautifully crafted metal. ,,Ma’am, I still have so many questions, about the young Master…’’ he said, finally looking back at the woman in front of him.

,,Don’t speak so loudly!’’ she hushed him, looking out the study chambers heavy doors, still open from when Nite had left the room. ,,… He doesn’t know, does he?’’ she asked.

,,No,’’ he lied, not flinching the slightest. ,,Willa, _were_ does Nite come from? I’ve been… _in the presence_ of him for over half a year. He is… _confused_ and emotional, but he is not the _monster_ you portray him as,’’ he said beggingly.

,,You barely know him,’’ she said apologetic. ,,… I cannot tell you much about him. He is… my own flesh and blood, if that’s your concern. But he is much more than that, and I don’t think it will help you sleep at night, to know the exact _origin of Nite_ ,’’ she said slowly. ,,All you have to know is, that he is very powerful. He has potential to be, if not _the_ most, then _one_ of the most powerful sorcerers all of the realms of Aenamo has ever seen. But I’m afraid that won’t happen,’’ she said.

,,Why not?’’ he croaked, feeling his mouth dry.

,,Because he has a taste for disaster. A character flaw, that deems him unable to socialize normally. Don’t tell me that I’ve isolated him for too long, because that’s not it. I’ve brought people to the castle when he was younger, in the hopes of him learning how to act around people. Neither you or he will remember, because… I’ve wiped your memories… It was the safest,’’ she said apologetic, as Seymore’s eyes grew angry at the notion. ,,I set my foot down, when he scarred your face. No visitors have been here since. The other maids and servants had long been gone by then. But you… wouldn’t leave. Not even after that,’’ she noted.

Seymore remembered vaguely how apologetic Willa had been that day. How adamantly she wanted to heal him, and how persistent she had tried to convince him to leave the castle like the rest. But Seymore couldn’t leave. He had had nowhere else to go, and besides, she had had no one else than him, even if he only cleaned and cooked.

,,I’ve seen none of that in your absence,’’ he said as calmly as he could. She was quite for a while, before she turned around to leave the study chamber.

,,Then you have something he wants. And I promise you, nothing good comes from that,’’ she said as she left.

Although he felt dizzy and confused, he still shakenly walked down the hallway, entering the sorcerer’s bed chambers without even knocking. Looking back, it could have been horrible if Willa had been there to check up on Nite, but luckily she wasn’t. It looked like Nite had somewhat expected it to be her, but he didn’t seem displeased with the familiar sight of the troll.

,,Are you alright?’’ Seymore asked, closing the door behind him as Nite stood up. He nodded, looking embarrassed and confused, before it occurred to him; the earrings didn’t plaster the troll’s ears anymore.

,, _She took them?_ ’’ he whined, yanking down in the troll’s long ears without even noticing. ,,Oh, I shouldn’t do that,’’ he said, letting go of the ears as Seymore began to chuckle. It didn’t hurt him, as much as it surprised him.

,,She did,’’ he said, weighing his words carefully. ,,… She said… you had done something to them…’’ he said slowly. Nite’s eyes flickered, but he didn’t deny it. ,, _Did_ you do something to them?’’ he asked, carefully handing the sorcerer his prized possession. The young man looked down upon the jewelry, carefully running his fingers across them.

,,Yes,’’ he finally said.

,,Why?’’ he asked, feeling the word sting surprisingly. ,,What did you do?’’ Nite handed the earrings back to Seymore, but the troll didn’t take them.

,,I know what you think,’’ he said, more persistently trying to hand the earrings back, but Seymore took a step back instead. ,,It’s _not_ a love spell. Why would I want you to love me for _pretend?_ Sure, maybe you would just… _get used to it_ , with time, but much more likely, you would wake up one day, _questioning_ why the fuck you were here, with _me_ ,’’ he scoffed, putting the earrings into his pocket instead.

,,If not a love spell… Then, what _did_ you do?’’ he asked.

,,… It’s a _blessing_. That’s why she couldn’t figure out what it was. Or maybe because I did it wrong, and it wore off, who knows,’’ he shrugged. ,,I put a protective blessing on your earrings. Because, as long as you wore them, you were supposed to be… safe… to feel _good_. I know I didn’t always do that, for you, but… I hoped it could _soothe_ you, somehow,’’ he said, fidgeting with his fingers.

,,Why wouldn’t you… _tell me_ such stuff?’’ he asked, sitting down on the desk behind him.

,,Would you had worn them, then? You looked so… _proud_ and content when you wore them. Like _truly_ happy. It was a side I would have _never_ guessed you had… Dressing up, all pretty, in jewelry like that… That was _everything_ I could have _ever_ wanted… and I just wanted to protect that smile, for a little while,’’ he said quietly. ,,You’re such a weird troll, Seymore. I _love_ that about you, because, I’m a weird _human_. I didn’t want my mother to taint your view of those earrings. Because now she has also tainted how _happy_ you looked when you wore them,’’ he said, fumbling over his words.

,,That’s not true,’’ he said sternly, surprising the small man with his tone. ,,This is not a matter about what she has done or said. This is a matter of you not _telling_ me when you fidget with things like this, _despite_ that you _must_ know that it would upset me!’’ he said, his voice getting louder. ,, _Why_ bless them, anyway? Why do you need to put magic into everything?’’ he asked.

,,Because that’s all _I am!_ ’’ he yelled back. ,,That’s all I ever cared about, and all that’s ever worked for me!’’ he said through gritted teeth, sitting on the chair in front of the desk. They both sat in silence, as their breaths steadied, calming down each on their own.

,,… I… Can I still have the earrings?’’ he finally asked, stretching out his hand. Nite nodded, before he gave them back, cautiously watching as Seymore put them on again.

,,… Are you mad at me?’’ he asked, his gaze not leaving the troll, although Seymore tried to avoid the stern, mahogany eyes.

,,No. But I _am_ upset,’’ he said quietly, looking down at his hands.

,,Why is magic okay _sometimes_ , but not all the time?’’ he asked calmly, cocking his head to the side. ,,You got used to the bubbles, you don’t mind some _emergency_ magic when the mood is set, you granted me permission to _turn back time_ and you have _even_ helped me through the most painful and scary part of my magic… But a blessing? To keep you safe? That’s too much?’’ he asked confused. His tone was demeaning, but Seymore tried to push that aside. ,,I can’t _protect_ you in any kind of way, without magic. Sure, you might not _need_ protection. You might not _want_ it, either. But I _am_ selfish. You’re _important_ to me, Seymore, and I want, with teeth and claws, to protect you, whether you want me to or _not_ ,’’ he said sternly, standing up and walking the few steps up to the troll.

As Seymore sat on the desk, sloshing over to rest his elbows on his knees, Nite was about the same height as he. He gently touched the troll’s face, guiding him so he could look into those amber eyes that he adored so much. His eyes weren’t hard, anymore, but filled with concern and embarrassment. The long fingers that graced the green skin was cold as ever, but the touch felt warm and familiar.

,,I don’t know,’’ Seymore said, his voice raspy and apologetic. ,,I don’t know why some magic feels bad, and some are okay. I don’t like _magic_ , Nite. I am _scared_ of magic. I never become numb to the fear I feel, and believe me, _I want to_ …’’ he said, feeling his throat tighten, surprising the small man in front of him. ,,Magic is a concept _I don’t understand_. I don’t like to be _surprised_ by it. I _would_ have worn the earrings, even if you had told me. I would have _believed_ you, if you told me it wasn’t a love spell. _Please_ , don’t make me regret that I _believe_ in you,’’ he said quietly.

Nite’s smile was sad, barely even being a smile. He leaned forward, not to kiss the troll, but to rest his undoubtedly tired head on his, sighing lightly as he did so. His hands were still around the troll’s cheeks, gently rubbing Seymore with his thumbs.

,,You know…’’ the sorcerer said slowly, closing his eyes in regret. ,,… Maybe the problem _is_ me. Maybe _I_ don’t believe in _you_. Maybe because… I’m so afraid of losing you? Even though I _know_ you aren’t mine, but… I’m also _terrible_ curious and I want you to _see_ how _beautiful_ magic is…’’ he whispered.

,,Hey now,’’ he said, as Nite didn’t open his eyes again. ,,Don’t be afraid. I’m here, Nite,’’ he said quietly.

,,Yes, but… Everything will be so _different_ now, won’t it? I keep fearing she’ll suddenly just knock on my door, questioning why you’re here…’’ he said quietly.

,,Well, I’m here because I’m checking up on my _friend_ , who have been very stressed, lately,’’ he smiled. When Nite finally did open his eyes again, he couldn’t help but to lean forward, kissing the small man, sweet and gently.

,,Do you kiss _all_ your friends so passionately?’’ he smirked when he pulled away.

,,No,’’ Seymore smiled, leaning in again. His lips lingered a little longer on the paler ones, savoring the moment for as long as he could. ,,Only my _dearest_ friend.’’


	13. 13) I'm sorry

,,Wake up.’’ Gentle whispers, as hands were shaking him, greeted his tired mind as he slowly woke up. He couldn’t remember when he had last been woken up like this. It felt like a distant memory, or a dream, but when he finally opened his eyes, it was all but that.

Nite didn’t look scared, but he didn’t look excited, either. He smiled vaguely when the troll finally yawned, stretched his body and sat up.

,,What’s the matter, Nite?’’ he asked gently, not bothering with covering himself. The sorcerer wore his usually long, grey sweater. He moved a little closer to the troll, almost fidgety.

,,Nothing. I just miss you,’’ he said quietly. Seymore was about to say that they saw each other every day, but he knew that wasn’t what he meant. He knew that he, like himself, missed sleeping together, vanishing into weird nooks of the castle to kiss and their long talks at night, until the sun would rise again. He missed eating with him, showering with him, and he had all but too late noticed all the intimate, everyday stuff they did, he had otherwise reserved for lovers of the past.

While Seymore had _insisted_ he never wanted to be in a relationship again, living with someone like this, he couldn’t deny he missed _just_ _that_ now, when he looked at the man, as he so often had before.

,,I miss you too,’’ he said, gently moving so the small man could climb on top of him, holding his light body dearly. ,,Let me show you just how _much_ I do so,’’ he whispered, kissing the sorcerer sweetly.

They still kissed each other, even after the Madam’s return, but not as frequent, and not as greedily, as Nite seemed to want now. They talked every day, but mostly when Willa was occupied by her own things, or around dinner, were she would eat alone, anyway. Although it wasn’t the same as before her return, it wasn’t the same as before her travels, either, and Seymore, for once, didn’t feel as lonely. He could only hope Nite didn’t either.

,,I want you,’’ the young man muttered against the troll’s lips. ,,I _need_ you,’’ he insisted, when Seymore slowed down his motions.

,,Then we have to be very _quiet_ ,’’ he whispered, smiling as Nite eagerly began to stand up, tugging in the troll’s long arms. ,,Were are we going? I thought you wanted to-,’’ he chuckled, but got cut of when Nite guided him out of the basement chamber.

,,I don’t want to do it _here_. At _least_ I can close my door. And don’t worry, I’ll be _quiet_ , I just _really_ want to feel you again…’’ he whispered, slowly opening his door, before puffing the troll inside.

Nite’s room was lit up, for once. Not by much, but he had definitely prepared the room beforehand. The bed was made and small, fairy like crystals made the room seem comfortable and sparkly.

He knew Nite didn’t care about setting a mood. But he was aware that Nite knew that he himself _did_. While Seymore didn’t need much sweettalking, or the right place and time to get intimate, he liked the effort, just like with the earrings that still plastered his ears so beautifully.

,,What would you have done, if I had said no?’’ he chuckled, gently getting pushed down onto the bed by the small man. Nite was direct and needy, and had no time to play the troll’s games. ,,Slow down, Nite, I’m not going anywhere,’’ he smiled, feeling the long, slender hands around the waist of his pants.

,,Oh shush it. Didn’t you say we had to be _quiet?_ ’’ he smirked, not hesitating to lick the troll’s soft cock. It didn’t stay like that for long, when the sorcerer so _persistently_ licked and slurped on it, his eyes never leaving the troll’s.

,,You’re noisy, even when you suck me off,’’ he panted, hungrily licking his lips. ,,You’re very playful today. You don’t want me to touch you, too?’’ he asked, rather gently as he caressed the small man sitting between his legs.

,,I want you to touch me with _this_ ,’’ he smirked, spitting and sucking as the troll grew bigger and harder in his mouth. ,,You’re dripping _a lot_ today. You seem pretty calm, but _this_ is _very_ eager,’’ he teased, greedily sucking him off again.

,,I haven’t come for, what, weeks now?’’ he said, slowly grinding against the open, hot mouth.

,,Really?’’ he said, finally releasing the troll before he stood up, stripping out of his sweater in one fluent motion that made Seymore’s skin tingle. ,,And why could that be?’’ he said, seductively straddling the older man, gently leaning his thin body against the troll’s broad one.

,,I… don’t like the thought of not being able to close my door, when I touch myself…’’ he said slowly, feeling the sorcerer place himself with the troll’s aching cock between his ass cheeks. ,,And all my free time during the day, I’ve spent with you… And I _much_ rather chat with you, than flee to the bathroom to masturbate…’’ he said, his mind clouded by the young man’s playful smile.

,,Is that so? No wonder why you _drip_ so much, then,’’ he chuckled lightly, grinding against the hard cock. ,, _I’ve_ masturbated. Quite a lot, actually. Thinking about you…’’ he panted, slowly feeling the troll push against the tight, slick entrance. ,,But it still doesn’t feel as nice, as when you touch me… as when you’re _inside_ me… You don’t _kiss me_ as greedily as you used to… You’re not _in my bed_ when I want you to be…’’ he whined, slowly moving his hips as his ass got stretched. Seymore could feel himself slip further in with every thrust. ,,But you’re still as _beautiful_ as ever, and I want you _so much_ , when I see you around during daytime,’’ he whimpered.

Seymore leaned forward to give him exactly what he wanted; greedy kisses in his bed, his cock already half-way into the small, slightly whimpering man. He wanted to push much further, but he feared it would make the sorcerer noisier, and he was already all too aware that they weren’t exactly _sneaky_ about things.

He didn’t really know how well isolated Nite’s room was. In hindsight, he could probably have sound proofed the room with magic, but that was too late to think about now. He wasn’t sure if the Madam would be able to hear anything, unless she went down the hallways at this exact minute, but why would she do that, in the middle of the night?

Still, he didn’t feel safe about his choice of nightly activity. It felt much safer to kiss Nite so deeply to drown out most of the moans, than to let him talk while he rode the troll so passionately.

But Nite still whined and whimpered against the troll’s thin lips, making him shudder by the mere sound of the small man on top of him. He _adored_ it like this, with Nite on top of him and the sorcerer controlling the speed and depths, even if Nite mostly seemed to be so caught up in his pleasure, that he didn’t have much control at all at this point.

,,We’re too noisy,’’ the troll chuckled, pulling away slightly from the hungry lips.

,,I don’t care,’’ he whined, hiding his face against the troll’s shoulder. ,,It feels like _forever_ since we did this, and you feel so _damn good_ inside of me…’’ he whimpered, grinding his hips against the troll’s heavy cock.

,,It feels _amazing_ , Nite, but it’s hard to keep _quiet_ when you sound so inviting,’’ he panted, holding the small man’s hips in place, to guide him a little gentler against him.

,,You want me to _stop_ being inviting?’’ he smirked, his fingers caressing the troll’s muscly arms. ,,You’re being gentle, so I won’t moan too much? Or because you prefer that?’’ he said, biting his lip to keep his voice down.

Truth be told, Seymore really wanted to pin the small man down and fuck him a little less gentle. Make him whimper into the mattress. Make him _come_ and make up for the time they hadn’t been together. But he didn’t know if he could keep himself in place enough to not leave marks on the fair skin, if he got too carried away.

,,I want to be on top,’’ the troll panted, lifting the small man and throwing him down on the bed. Even if it surprised Nite, he didn’t shriek, but he did look confused when Seymore turned him over on his stomach, positioning him for easier access.

,,You’re not very discreet yourself,’’ Nite mocked, as he placed a hand between his legs, slightly lifting his awaiting ass. ,,Make _good_ use of it, when you’re treating me so roughly,’’ he smirked, his voice quivering and seductive.

,,Oh _believe_ me, I’ll make up for the time I haven’t been able to _pound_ your ass,’’ he panted, putting one foot onto the bed, while the other still was on the floor. He lined himself up, gliding into the small ass rather easily, as Nite was already warm and shaking. The troll leaned down, whispering into the sorcerer’s ear: ,,You better find something to bite down on, because I’m not intending to stop for a _while_ and I’m not intending to be gentle _either_ ,’’ he groaned, pushing further into the man underneath him.

Nite whimpered, before he grabbed a pillow to hide his face in. Seymore made good on his promise, and kept slowly pressing further into him. He wanted Nite to remember, _to feel_ , that even though things had changed, he didn’t desire him any less. He could do that in many ways, but he _knew_ that Nite would remember this tomorrow, to let it linger in his body.

,,If you at any point want me to stop, hold up your hand. If you want me to slow down, shake your head,’’ the troll whispered, grabbing tightly around the small man’s waist, as he buried himself into his greedy ass. Nite’s whimpers could be heard through the pillow, but not as loudly as he otherwise was.

Although not as rough as he would have been with a troll, Seymore didn’t hold back as much as he normally did. He used his heavy body to pin the small man to the bed, thrusting hard into him so the pale body shuddered every time he did so. His nails scraped the sorcerer’s ass, leaving red claw marks he _knew_ no one else but him would notice. Most of the time, Nite wiggled and whimpered underneath him, but he would every once in a while try to bounce back on the big cock inside him, before he felt another, hard thrust against his prostate that made him lose focus again.

,,How can you be so _tight_ and at the same time suck me in so deep?’’ the troll muttered quietly, spreading the small man out to thrust deeper. ,,You’re doing ‘aight?’’ he groaned, slowing down just enough so the sorcerer could nod, before he continued the deep, hard thrusts. ,,Good, _good_ … _Damn_ , I’m glad you woke me up…’’ he panted, firmly grabbing the pale cheeks, fondling him hardly.

He hadn’t tried to push all the way in, since Nite’s birthday. As Nite had learned that the goal was achievable and he had succeeded, he had been less insistent since then, but now, Seymore wanted to feel _just that_ again. The sorcerer moaned a lot louder as he did so, but he didn’t shake his head or hold his hand up.

,,By the stars, you were really right… This is _the fucking best_ ,’’ he groaned, sneaking his hands underneath the sorcerer’s chest, to firmly pinch the hardened nipples. He could see Nite’s shoulder’s shake, but he wasn’t sure if he touched himself, or if it was just due to the intensity. Regardless, he could still hear through the pillow how much he moaned.

He had tried to slow down at first, being so deeply into the sorcerer, but it was hard for him to do so. He felt the intense need for breeding him just as _roughly_ as Nite claimed to be able to handle creep up on him, his mind feeling clouded and all but too horny at this point.

Was it due to the fact that they hadn’t had sex in weeks, that made him so _desperate_ , so _rough_ , or just the fact that if he couldn’t mark him in any noticeable way, that he wanted Nite to _feel_ it in his body, for days to come? Maybe because he wanted Nite to come back, waking him up at night, while he simply couldn’t resist the troll. Or maybe just because he was greedy himself, and the need was too strong.

Then he felt the familiar clenching throughout the young man’s body, but he was surprisingly quiet, for a change. Seymore slowed down, afraid the small man needed air, but Nite moved to look up at him, his face flushed and eyes glossy.

,,W-why are you slowing down?’’ he whined, holding a hand over his mouth when the troll pushed all the way inside again. ,,T-this is so good, Seymore. D-don’t stop…’’ he begged, before he buried his head in the pillow again.

,,I just wanted to make sure you were okay,’’ he promised, gently scraping the small man’s chest, further down to his stomach, that undoubtably was covered in cum, making him whimper slightly himself. ,,You’re shaking,’’ he noted.

,,That’s because my _ass_ is getting pounded _so good_ …’’ he whined, only looking up for a second before he hid his face again. ,,I wanna come _more…_ ’’ he drooled, letting his hands down between his legs again. ,,It’s so much _better_ , like this… I just want y-you to make me come over and _over_ ,’’ he whimpered, rocking his hips against the troll, to the best of his abilities.

,, _Such a greedy little slut_ ,’’ he growled, licking his lips as he kept going deep and hard. If Nite came again, he wasn’t sure he could help but tip over himself, but until then, he wanted to enjoy _every_ moment that he was his alone. ,, _I wonder_ what _would make you want me to slow down? How much would you be able to handle?_ ’’ he growled lowly, hugging the small man against his body, as his hips thrusted faster and harder.

This surprised Nite, so much that he unwillingly lifted his head to shriek, but before he could do so, Seymore firmly put his hand over his mouth. He shushed him without slowing down the slightest, looking proudly at the sorcerer as his eyes rolled back into his skull, his mouth wet and damp against the palm of his hand.

,,You’re so damn _sexy_ ,’’ he panted, forcing himself not to bite down on the human’s neck. ,,You like it like this? On your hands and knees, being _manhandled_ so _roughly?_ ’’ he grunted, trying to hold back his own whimpers as Nite nodded to the best of his abilities.

He didn’t pull out as much, anymore. He kept fucking him in deep, short thrust, using his weight to almost _force_ himself into him, but as far as he knew, Nite wasn’t displeased by this. If anything, he seemed totally lost in his own ecstasy, just as far gone as Seymore felt himself.

,,I wanna come…’’ the troll whispered, almost beggingly. ,,But I want to feel you _tighten_ around me again…’’ he whimpered, his grip still tight around the thin body, before his hand sneaked down between the sorcerer’s legs. He was still hard and sticky, covered in his own cum from earlier. The scent lingered and made him even less careful. The troll finally removed his hand from the small man’s mouth, making him gasp and whine a little louder than the troll liked, although the sound itself was music to his ears.

,,I-it’s really good, Seymore…’’ he whimpered. ,,It’s so _weird_ that I h-have to be quite today… I want to tell you h-how fucking _good_ it i-is… You’re so _rough_ … I want it ­ _rough!_ ’’ he whined, feeling the troll turn his head around so he could kiss him again. It was both to shush him, but mostly because he missed the thin, quivering lips, that greedily, _helplessly,_ wanted for them to connect.

,, _I wanna make you my little bitch_ ,’’ he growled against the swollen lips, he couldn’t help but to bite down on. ,, _I want to be your man_ ,’’ he growled, feeling himself tip over, much before he normally would have. His grip around the sorcerer’s hard cock got tighter, and the surprised young man felt the unbearably hard, deep thrusts, as the troll bit down on his own free hand to not groan too loudly.

,, _Fuck yes!_ ’’ Nite moaned, feeling the troll throw him further down on the mattress, making sure his face was burrowed into the pillow, as he kept thrusting and coming to what seemed like forever. He couldn’t remember the last time his orgasm had felt so overwhelming, and he could hardly keep his raspy voice under control. But it became even harder when he felt the familiar tightening again, hearing Nite much more clearly this time, as he let the orgasm run through him. ,, _Seymore…_ ’’ he whined, his body shaking as the troll kept fucking him, even after his orgasm had run out.

,,You feel so _good_ ,’’ he whimpered against the small man’s back, his grip not as tight, and his motions slowing down ever so slightly. He still didn’t pull out, but he could feel himself soften up, so it would only be a matter of time.

Nite turned to look at the troll again, his face redder than ever, and his gaze tired and happy. Seymore gently leaned down to kiss him again, the soft touches contrasting how rough he had been just moments before. The sorcerer felt small and weak in his arms, as if he melted into the touch and Seymore’s strong arms, that held him so dearly.

,, _Fuck_ that was good…’’ Nite hummed against the green lips. ,,I’ll be so damn _sore_ tomorrow…’’ he chuckled, pushing himself against Seymore’s warm body.

,,I’m sorry,’’ the troll smiled, gently trying to reposition himself, slipping out of the small man as careful as he could. Nite whined slightly, but let himself fall down onto the bed as Seymore climbed into it.

,,Don’t _apologize!_ Silly troll,’’ he said, still chuckling down onto the bed. ,,It was _really_ good. It would almost be worth waiting _weeks_ for, if this is how you treat me when you haven’t been touched for a while… if it wasn’t for the fact that the sex already is pretty damn good,’’ he said, weakly pushing himself further into the bed. Seymore smiled and wrapped the small man in his blankets, but Nite sat up again as he noticed Seymore didn’t wrap himself up. ,,Don’t _tell_ me you’re not going to sleep here,’’ he said sternly.

,,… It wouldn’t be very _wise_ …’’ he began, but Nite just rolled his eyes at this.

,, _Nothing_ about this is wise, Seymore! _Come on_ , sleep here, get up early, she’ll never notice it,’’ he promised. ,,I _miss_ sleeping with you. I miss waking up with you. You _always_ used to get up beforehand, but it all seems so weird and far away now…’’ he said slowly.

Seymore where about to protest, but he could hardly do so, when Nite looked so small in the big bed. He couldn’t remember he had ever just _left_ after they had had sex. As far as he could remember, they had always slept together afterwards, and he didn’t really want to change that.

He didn’t say anything, he just smiled and moved to cover himself with the blankets as well, making the small man by his side sigh happily. The smell of sex still lingered in the air, but it was hard to think about showering and changing bedsheets when his body and mind felt so tired, all of a sudden.

Nite gently curled their fingers together, cuddling against the green, damp skin, seemingly very satisfied with the situation. Seymore was about to drift of, when he noticed something as he caressed the cold, long hands.

,,… You’re not wearing the ring anymore?’’ he asked quietly. Nite had almost drifted off to sleep himself, but jerked slightly at the question. When he opened his eyes, he looked flustered at the troll.

,,I was afraid… that she would ask questions… I thought you would like me to… keep a low profile…’’ he said slowly, fumbling slightly with the words.

And normally, Seymore would. He had even considered it when he gave Nite the ring to begin with, how he should tell him he probably shouldn’t wear it when his mother got back home. And while he had meant it when he said it wasn’t an engagement ring, he suddenly felt rejected, even if Nite’s words made sense.

,,You’re probably right,’’ he mumbled, smiling softly to the sorcerer, trying to brush away the small man’s fears. ,,… But I will miss the sight of it…’’ he admitted, kissing the small man slowly, trying to collect himself again.

As Nite fell asleep, the lights he had created with magic to light up his room, faded one after one. Nite’s room had never felt so dark before, and Seymore suddenly didn’t feel as tired, anymore.

He had known for a while that he liked Nite. He had known for a while, that he probably _loved_ him, which made it all the more heartbreaking not to be able to tell him that himself.

But what could he offer the young man, regarding a relationship? It would _never_ be enough for Nite, just to be lovers. He would _always_ push for more. It scared him to think, that even if Seymore felt so out of control, Nite was ready to do or say just about anything to get what he wanted. Whatever dreams he once had had with Ruvaen, could, potentially, be just about to happen, if he said the right things.

Seymore wasn’t sure he wanted that, anymore. He wasn’t sure about anything, anymore, but he was pretty sure that he was much more into Nite than what he had thought before, just by the sheer feeling of loss and hurt that had run through him, when Nite didn’t wore _his_ ring.

Days felt weird and hazy now, compared to how it had been before. He had always known that he wasn’t quite _happy_ with how his life had been, before the Madam’s trip, but he had always thought he was content with how things were. Now, he could barely remember the last time he had been truly _happy_ , before he and Nite had started hanging around each other.

The Madam hadn’t questioned that he didn’t want to move back into his old room. For the most part, she seemed confused over his and Nite’s interactions, but didn’t bother asking about it. Maybe she talked with her son about it, although it was unlikely, he thought.

But one day, as Seymore brought Willa her lunch to her room, she stopped him, when he was about to take his leave. She seemed concerned, as she asked him to sit down.

,,Is everything alright, Ma’am? Have I missed something in my work?’’ he asked slowly.

,,No, Seymore, everything regarding that, is fine,’’ she said, turning her back to the troll, as if she wasn’t sure how to continue. ,,… I am once again worried about Nite…’’ she said hesitantly. ,,He is acting… _differently,_ but I can’t quiet explain why,’’ she said.

Seymore didn’t answer at first. He wasn’t sure if she just wanted to went her frustrations, or if she wished for his advice, but regardless, Seymore knew she wouldn’t like whatever answer he would come up with. Nite _did_ act differently, not only because he was a teenager with hormones, but because he was heartbroken to not have the troll all to himself, anymore.

,,He is a teenager, Ma’am. He is going through a lot of changes, all the time,’’ he tried cautiously.

,,I don’t think that’s _just_ it…’’ she said slowly, finally turning around again. ,,The two of you got pretty close, while I was away. I… didn’t expect that, actually. That’s why I’m asking you, because maybe you _know_ something, I don’t. I begin to ask myself, if I _am_ wrong about his intentions… But… It’s hard to explain…’’ she mumbled.

,,What is it he does, that worries you?’’ he asked. She hesitated for a moment, before she spoke:

,,I’m afraid he’s sneaking out of the castle, even if I _know_ it’s impossible,’’ she whispered. ,,I would _know_ if he left the ground around the castle.’’

,,He hasn’t tried to escape while you were away,’’ the troll promised. Not as far as he knew of, anyway. The only time he had mentioned to run away himself, had been the time his magic had overwhelmed him. Otherwise, it had always been with Seymore by his side he had imagined his escape.

,,Are you sure? I think… I think he has _met_ someone?’’ she said, looking nervously at Seymore. He could feel his heart skip a beat, and he prayed to the stars that he didn’t look as horrified as he felt, but as Willa didn’t seem to notice anything weird about him, his heart slowly began to pound again. ,,It doesn’t seem likely, but… his _mind_ is just somewhere _completely_ else, and if I didn’t know any better… I would say he was _in love_ ,’’ she said. Despite the obvious, it didn’t look like she even _considered_ Seymore to be the culprit of the sorcerer’s fascination.

,,… He… hasn’t mentioned anything,’’ he said, trying his best not to seem suspicious. He felt _trapped_. How would he explain this, when Nite couldn’t _possibly_ meet up with anybody? A mysterious pen-pal? A fictive crush? He had known it was a risk, that Willa at any time could get a hint about them, but he had never expected that _he_ would be the one she came to. He had always thought it would be _Nite_ she would pry it out of. And had it just been _that_ , he wouldn’t have batted an eye if Nite told on him, but now? He couldn’t _lie_ to Willa, not like _this._ But then it hit him, distractions _never_ had to mean attraction, not for Nite. ,,I think I know what could cause him trouble,’’ he said, not thinking clearly, speaking a little too fast. This, the Madam seemed to notice. ,,Has he mentioned _the book?_ ’’ he asked.

,,What book?’’ she asked, confused by the change of topic.

Seymore knew, even before he did so, that he shouldn’t have mentioned it. Whatever was in that book, Nite wouldn’t want his mother to know. If he didn’t even want Seymore to know, he couldn’t _imagine_ that he wanted _her_ to do so. He wasn’t sure if the book was dangerous, or if it was some sort of embarrassing that he couldn’t open it yet, but that _book_ was his only hope for getting them both safely out of this situation. But, at what cost?

,,He has mentioned a book, a few times, that he can’t seem to open,’’ he said nervously. It took the Madam a moment to take in the troll’s words, but then her face changed, and Seymore realized far too late how bad an idea it had been to mention.

,, _What?!_ ’’ she said, far louder now. ,,Why haven’t you _told_ me this before? For _how_ long exactly?’’ she asked hastily.

,,… I’m not sure… About Winter Solstice, I think…’’ he said carefully. ,,I thought it was just part of his studies…’’ he tried.

,,It’s definitely _not!_ ’’ she said harshly. ,,If he can’t open it, it’s not _supposed_ to be open! Where would he _get that_ from?’’ she asked, most likely to herself and not the troll. There was something frantic about her movements, as she paced back an forth.

,,I… didn’t know if the book was dangerous or not, Ma’am… Only that it caused him great frustration… He has never mentioned anything about the book, besides the fact that he can’t open it…’’ he said, trying to defuse another building situation. It would be all too late to admit to what was _really_ on Nite’s mind these days, he knew that, and in any case, it wouldn’t help to settle the matter with the book, either way.

,,You don’t think that’s suspicious?’’ she asked, startling him by her tone. ,,If I know _anything_ about my son, I’m _sure_ he has wanted to tell you _everything_ about magic. All _kinds_ of magic. Don’t _tell_ me it’s not suspicious, if he suddenly is not talking about something so interesting to him, as a book he can’t seem to open up,’’ she said, walking out of the room.

Seymore tried following her, but they didn’t get far, before the Madam stopped to turn around. She looked tired and apologetic, as she seemed to calm down.

,,I need to talk with my son _alone_ ,’’ she said, but Seymore still followed after her, afraid what would happen when Nite found out he had ratted him out. ,, _Honestly_ , Seymore, I thought that you, even though you don’t know much about magic, would act more mature in situations like these,’’ she said tiredly. This time, Seymore did stop, finally realizing how little Willa really knew about trolls. About him, in general.

,,… But I’m not…’’ he said quietly. ,,I… Trolls age differently… I’m _barely_ an adult, even if I have lived like one for _years_ …’’ he said, feeling small and helpless, all of a sudden. As if he suddenly realized it, himself. She turned around, looking surprised at him, as if she had figured something out all of a sudden. But she didn’t say anything. She just looked at the troll, who felt so small underneath her gaze. ,,… I don’t mean to cause trouble for him, Ma’am. Whatever you might think, we’ve become pretty good friends, and I… I don’t want to bring him harm. _Yes_ , I’ve been worried about the book, but… _Please_ don’t tell him I’ve said anything…’’ he begged quietly.

She walked a couple of steps closer to the troll. Seymore was still much taller than her, but he felt just as small and frightened as he would have done, had it been his own mother he stood in front of. He had never felt like this before. She had never looked at him as if he was _a child_ , before this. She had never _known_ how old he was, he expected, and he didn’t _look_ like a teenager, to her concern.

,,You didn’t have to _befriend_ him, Seymore. I didn’t mean for you to do so,’’ she said quietly, placing her hand on his head. Her fingers felt cold, just like Nite’s, but different at the same time. Not familiar. _Threatening_. ,,I will take care of this. But he’ll not be _happy_. It’s best if you stay back… so nothing happens…’’ she said, slowly looking at his scarred face.

,,… What _is_ in that book?’’ he asked, his voice small and quivering, but she shook her head.

,,Hopefully, nothing. But it’s best you don’t think about it _too_ much… This is just how he _is_ ,’’ she assured him, retreating her hand and turning around to leave him behind. She walked slowly, slower than she usually did, or maybe he was just too out of it to really understand what was happening.

,,It’s black magic, isn’t it?’’ he asked, loud enough for her to hear, but she didn’t answer. She stopped for a moment, before she went on her way, never even looking back.

He wanted to run after her. _Demand_ to know _were_ Nite came from, but how could he even _think_ he had the right to do so? He wanted to go get Nite, before his mother ever came for him, and run far away, but where would they even go?

Instead, he did nothing. He just stood there, for a while, knowing all too well that regardless of how Willa put it, Nite would be furious. If not at him, then at her. But most likely, she wouldn’t honor his wish to not rat him out. And if she did so, he wasn’t sure Nite would act so kindly.

He went to his old room, for a while. It had been empty since the day he had left, and he hadn’t been in here for over half a year. It felt weird, being back, but it was the only place he could think of to hide.

The pieces of paper were still in the trash bin. He pulled them out, as if he expected them to reveal something different than last time, but they didn’t. It was the same letter, about his sister’s everyday life, with a throw-away notion about their dad’s death. He didn’t miss his dad, but in this moment, so uncertain about the future, he did miss Feylin.

He could only hide for so long. As the dusk approached, he knew he should start cooking dinner soon. He left his safe, little space, and went to the main kitchen, gently chopping away in hopes to steady his nerves, but he knew as soon as he heard footsteps approach, that things were about to go downwards.

,,You _told her?!_ ’’ He heard Nite before he saw him, only turning around when the small man angrily entered the room, pulling in his arm to get him to pay attention to him.

,,… Yes.’’ There was no point in denying it. He knew exactly what Nite meant, and he couldn’t possibly talk his way out of this.

,,How _could_ you?!’’ he screamed, pacing back and forth, muttering curses underneath his breath. ,,You _knew_ I didn’t want her to know about this!’’ he said, his eyes hard and hurt.

,,Let me explain-,’’ he tried, but Nite cut him off.

,, _No need!_ ’’ he scoffed, getting awfully close to the troll again. ,,I _know_ why you did it! Because it’s more _important_ for you to save your own sorry ass, than to _protect_ me!’’ he hissed between his teeth.

,,That’s not true! This _is_ to protect you!’’ he protested, but Nite shook his head.

,, _No_ , this is to protect _you_. You don’t want her to know about… _this_ , _fine!_ Maybe because you fear how she will react, but _mostly_ because you’re afraid to be thrown out! I _know_ she sees you as an adult. I _know_ she has no interest or _respect_ for other species. I _know_ why you’re afraid she’ll kick you out, but that you’re _willing_ to throw me off the island like this, I _don’t_ get. You’ve _said_ I’m important to you, but I mean so _little_ to you that you were willing to go _this far!_ ’’ he spat out. ,,You _disgust me!_ ’’ he muttered, turning around, breathing shallowly.

,,What’s in that book, Nite?’’ he asked, his voice quivering again. ,,Why is _that book_ so important? What _is it_ you think it’ll do for you?’’

,,This is about _you_ , not the book!’’ he said, turning to face the troll again. ,,I’m sick and tired of your games, Seymore! You keep all these secrets and hardships to yourself, saying it’s none of my business, but you _expect_ _me_ to tell you _everything?!_ I’ve told you _everything_ , besides what’s in that book. That’s _mine_ , just like you _insist_ all your trauma is!’’ he said, furiously grabbing the kitchen counter, his knuckles turning white. ,,You _knew_ that was important to me! How _could you?_ ’’

Seymore didn’t answer, he just closed his eyes for a moment. Nite was _right_. Willa portrayed perfectly all of his fears when she looked at him, so confused about him explained such simple stuff as his age. He felt like a small boy again, the lowlife that he knew trolls was seen as, and undoubtedly the misunderstood queer kid. But mostly, he felt guilty, because Nite was right that the book had been his easy way out, when Willa confronted him with something that could have uncovered his relation to her son.

,,… Because I was selfish…’’ he said quietly. He said it so gently and toneless, that it almost brought Nite out of his anger, and into pure confusion, as the troll began undoing his earrings.

,,What are you doing?’’ he asked, almost panicked. Seymore handed them back to the sorcerer, who took them in his confusion.

,,… I don’t want them, anymore. I don’t want this, anymore. You’re right. I haven’t been honest with you…’’ he said slowly, feeling his heart sink at the look on Nite’s face. ,,I never wished to cause you pain, sir, but I’ve done nothing but that, so far. I wish I could be what you seek, but I cannot, and I can’t live like this, either,’’ he said.

,, _Stop that!_ ’’ he demanded, but Seymore didn’t take the earrings when Nite tried to force them back into his hand. ,,I’m not your _sir!_ You’re not my _servant!_ You’re the man I lo-,’’ he tried, but this time, Seymore was the one to interrupt.

,,No. You don’t know me. I am, but a selfish troll. I got what I wanted, but now, things aren’t as easy, they aren’t as comfortable,’’ he said, looking away from Nite’s confused, hurt gaze. ,,You’re not _in love with me_ , you’re _confused_ and _young_. Too young to know what love is…’’ he mumbled.

,,Don’t _say_ that!’’ he begged, but Seymore refused to meet his eyes; those big, mahogany eyes, that before had been so harsh, but he alone had seen be so soft. ,,You _love_ me! I _know_ you do!’’ he whined.

,, _How_ do you know that?’’ he asked calmly. His head felt heavy, as Nite said what he had feared since his mother’s arrival home:

,,… Because… It, ahm… On the earrings… It wasn’t a _love_ spell, but… The stones _glow_ , ever so slightly, if you…’’ he began, fumbling with his words.

,,You said it was a blessing,’’ he said, feeling his heart pound.

,,… It’s not…’’ he admitted. ,,I wanted to _know_ that, even if you couldn’t say it, you still _felt_ it. You never noticed the stones glow, but _I_ do, that’s why I _know_ you love me! Don’t give me a sob story about that you don’t or that I don’t _know_ if I love you! That’s not the _point_ here!’’ he argued, getting angry again.

,,All I hear,’’ Seymore said, finally looking back at the small man, ,,is that you _lied_ to me _again_. So, tell me, _sir_ : _What is in that book?_ ’’ he said, not as calm anymore.

,,It’s not important,’’ he said spitefully.

,,Is it black magic?’’ he asked, as Nite turned his gaze away. ,, _Is it?_ ’’ he asked again, _begging_ for an answer, but Nite didn’t budge. ,,… _Why_ would you want _black magic?_ ’’ he said, feeling his heart sink.

,,I didn’t,’’ he mumbled. ,,It doesn’t matter what kind of magic it is. I need to be _powerful_. I _need_ to change _the world_ ,’’ he huffed.

,,Why do you _need that?_ ’’ he asked. ,,It’s never _enough_ magic for you, is it? You’ll search _your whole life_ for something to _change the world_ with, but it won’t matter. You can’t _change_ people with magic!’’

,,You changed!’’ he argued back.

,,Not because of _magic!_ ’’ he shouted.

,,But, the earrings-,’’ he tried.

,,They were _wrong!_ ’’ he yelled, making Nite take a step back. Unlike the time he had yelled at Nite, after he had healed his hand, Seymore’s gaze didn’t soften, even if the sorcerer looked so hurt and confused. ,,They were _wrong_ … I don’t want this. I _never_ wanted a relationship… I didn’t even _want sex_ , I was just… too weak… _Too selfish_ … We don’t love each other, Nite, we’re _leaching_ off each other… I don’t want to be part in _any_ of this, if you lie to me about magic, if you’re _dabbling_ with black magic, for who knows what reasons! I’m done! I’m out,’’ he said, holding up his hands in defeat.

Nite’s face went through all these emotions, he knew only he had seen. The sorrow, that he felt more than anything. His anger, so wild and burning, as he could only imagine. Until his eyes landed on _hatred_ as he looked at the man in front of him.

,, _Fine_. Have it your way, it’s always _your_ way. I would have given _anything_ to make you happy, but you’re too _afraid_ all the damn time,’’ he said, surprisingly calmly. ,,You always act like I’m making things hard. I’m _not_. Things are easy. Your heart is hard,’’ he said, looking down at the earrings in his palm. ,,You won’t need these, anymore, I assume. You’re not _mine_ , you never wanted to be, that’s true… But _these_ don’t lie, as trolls apparently do,’’ he scoffed, closing his hand firmly around the fragile pieces.

Seymore had seen Nite tuck and pull in his earrings countless of times without ever destroying them, but he realized all but too late what was happening, when the crushing sound of metal filled the room. When Nite opened his hand again, the earrings were merely broken pieces that he threw on the floor, never taking his eyes away from the horrified gaze of the troll.

,,Are you _happy_ now? Are things _simple_ enough for you, now?’’ he asked, his voice cold and harsh as ever.

,,No,’’ he said, looking down at the pieces at the floor, as it all settled in what was happening. He had been _furious_ as Nite had revealed the secret about the earrings, but now, it all seemed so pointless. Nite had destroyed the earrings, but he himself had destroyed Nite.

,, _Good_. Then _neither_ of us get what we want,’’ he said, turning around as he left the kitchen, just as suddenly as he used to.

He wanted to run after him. _Explain_ himself… No, he wanted to apologize… Even if he had been right, that the book was dangerous, Nite had been right, too. Seymore _was_ selfish. He didn’t want to call Nite his lover in front of the world, because he feared what would happen to _himself_. He _had_ wanted to protect Nite, but he had done it in selfish ways, he couldn’t make up for.

Seymore had so often dreamt about how their lives would be, if they had been a couple, to the point where he almost believed that they _were_. But because Seymore _refused_ to talk about things that hurt him, he had now hurt Nite, the thing he had wanted to avoid.

He should had _known_ that Nite would fiddle with the earrings. Although the young sorcerer held himself so gracefully and confidently, he was insecure about the whole situation, and really, who could blame him? Seymore didn’t _make_ things easy. He just wanted them _to be_ easy. And despite the young man’s own, bleeding heart, he had tried so hard to be whatever Seymore needed him to be, _even_ if it had been for selfish reasons as well.

Nite wanted a lover. And in the end, it hardly mattered if Seymore had been his _friend_ , his _lover_ or his _fiancé_ , the only thing Nite wanted, was him, with no hesitations and no secrets. Nite wouldn’t be scared of the things Seymore told him about his past. If anything, he would want to heal Seymore, in ways not even magic itself could.

He couldn’t finish making dinner, he could hardly stand on his legs. It barely faced him that Nite could, at any point, turn around and tell his mother exactly what Seymore had tried to avoid, he was much more focused on what he had just ruined himself. If he had been honest about his intentions and feelings from the start, he wouldn’t have ended up like this, with the hurt in Nite’s voice ringing for his inner ear.

With this, he went to the Madam’s room, asking for that vacation he hadn’t had around his birthday. It looked like it startled her with his sudden leave, and he couldn’t help but to notice how ruffled up she looked after her talk with Nite.

,,… Right now?’’ she asked hesitantly.

,,Yes,’’ he said, looking down on the floor. ,,An emergency has occurred in my hometown, and I need to come home. It shouldn’t take long,’’ he assured her. She knew he lied. He didn’t even try to hide it. But as always, she didn’t push him further.

,,… Very well… As always, you’re free to go, Seymore. Nothing keeps you here,’’ she said, rather gently. _That’s not true_ , he thought, but now the thing that had made his days a little less lonesome, was gone as well. ,,… Will you be back?’’ she asked, as he had drifted off into his own thoughts. When he looked at her again, her gaze was concerned, and he was reminded of why he had felt so comfortable with serving Willa for all these years. She was alone, as he himself was. But her gaze couldn’t fix how much _hurt_ he knew she had brought upon her own son for all these years.

,,Yes,’’ he said quietly.

,,… I’m sorry, Seymore. I know… I know that I made things difficult with Nite. It was never my plan to cause _you_ harm… I didn’t know… I wasn’t aware… that you were lonely, and needed a friend…’’ she said quietly. ,,You came here alone, and you always seemed to want to keep it that way…’’

,,… I didn’t want any friends,’’ he said calmly, his eyes tired and sad. ,,Neither did he. I think that’s why it worked so great, for us. I am very grateful for everything you’ve done for me, Ma’am… but I don’t think it was my best decision, choosing your loyalty over his…’’ he admitted. To his surprise, Willa didn’t seem mad at this.

,,It was very good you did so. If Nite really mean something to you, it was very wise to tell me about the trouble he was about to get himself into,’’ she said. ,,Thank you, Seymore.’’ Her words were kind, but they hurt more than she knew.

,,… What _is_ Nite?’’ he asked quietly, looking at the woman’s big, scared eyes. ,,When you talk about him… You don’t talk about _your son_ … You talk about him as… As he talks about _magic_ , in a way…’’ he noted.

,,… Nite _is_ magic…’’ she said quietly. ,,I can’t further explain that, but… Nite is something completely _unique_. That’s why his existence is _illegal_. He _can’t_ know, because I fear it will corrupt him further. _Nothing_ seems to be able to keep him under control, and _everything_ seems to drive him further into this dark, uncertain path… You _don’t_ need to know how Nite was made… It won’t bring you ease, but most importantly… It won’t bring _him_ ease…’’ she said begrudgingly.

,,He is… an experiment?’’ he asked slowly, but Willa wouldn’t answer his questions. ,,Okay… I’ve asked too many questions already, I’m sorry, Ma’am… One last thing, and I’ll take my leave,’’ he said.

,,Yes?’’ she asked, visibly exhausted by the topic.

,,Do you _love_ your son?’’ he asked. She seemed surprised by the question, but Seymore used her silence to elaborate further: ,,You act and talk like _your son_ is not a real person. Like he is some sort of raging magic, just waiting to explode. An _experiment_ , that you wish you rid yourself of years ago. But _Nite_ is real. With dreams, and passion and fears. He trusted _me_ , and I made my bed… _Please_ don’t tell me I trusted you with my fears of that book, for _nothing_ ,’’ he said, his voice shaking slightly.

She still didn’t answer him. It shouldn’t take her this long, he thought. Nite hadn’t used nearly as much time, when he was to answer if he hated his mother.

,,It’s not a hard question,’’ he said quietly.

,,It’s not,’’ she agreed. ,,Seymore, I don’t _love_ anyone. Not even my son. But I don’t _hate_ him, despite how I act around him. I realized too late I wasn’t fit for being a mother. But I couldn’t get rid of him, even if he came out as… he did…’’ she said. ,,You question is not hard, but my answer _is_ : I don’t _love_ Nite. You say you’re not afraid of my son, but _I am_ , because I know what he can become, and I didn’t wish to bring _that_ upon the world.’’ Seymore hesitated for a moment, before it dawned on him.

,,… Is Nite made with black magic?’’ She looked outside her big, bedroom window. Outside, the dusk crept closer, the spring sun only a faded memory. He wondered what Nite was doing, right now. He hadn’t had any dinner, but if he knew anything about the young sorcerer, he wouldn’t have been in the mood to eat anything, anyway.

,,It’s getting late, Seymore. Your _family emergency_ is waiting for you,’’ she said quietly. He was about to leave, when she spoke again: ,,People tend to lose their memory, when they are away from the castle for long periods of time. Where it’s located, what they’d done here. Just keep that in mind, if you wish to stay with your family for days or weeks,’’ she warned him.

,,I’ll keep that in mind,’’ he said, leaving her room again, wandering to his chamber to collect some of his belongings for his travel. He didn’t have much, but he changed into the best set of clothes he had, not much different than his normal, beige shirt and brown pants, but less torn to look at.

He still wondered if this was right. He still had _time_ to talk with Nite, but he couldn’t _imagine_ that Nite would talk with him. Not now. Not ever. Months of building trust and friendship, if not love, were gone in a blink of an eye, it felt like. He had always feared it would end abruptly and chaotic like this, but he could never have prepared for how lost and devastated he felt, right now.

The dusk didn’t make the castle seem less dark and gloomy, if anything, it looked like he would expect a castle to look like, hosting two sorcerers that fiddled with dark magic; like an evil empire, hidden in a dead forest, on a dry and dusty place like Mokar. But regardless of this, he already feared he wouldn’t get back to the castle again, as he left the surrounding grounds.

He had never left the property for more than a couple of days at a time. He guessed the Madam had warned him, as it seemed uncertain that he would be back. While he doubted she knew exactly how his and Nite’s relation was wired, he was aware that she knew that they had had an argument, and she seemingly knew it was to an extent where Seymore was prone to leave it all behind.

And he did greatly consider it. Although he had prided himself with the thought, that it wouldn’t be as hard, breaking things of with Nite if he had never been his, the reality was different. If anything, he felt like he had wasted time, wasted potential, but most heartbreakingly, wasted Nite’s trust. Nite wasn’t very trusting, and he couldn’t blame the young man. Now, he couldn’t imagine that Nite would ever want to let anyone as close to him, as he had allowed Seymore to be.

The travel to the gateway wasn’t easier in the dark. It was a rather dry and not too cold night, to his luck, but otherwise the travel was as long and tedious as always. This was one of the many reasons that Seymore rarely went out, even when the other maids and servants had in the past. It took a couple of hours to get off the island, and it would take a couple of hours to get back to the castle. By that time, he would be too tired to even do anything, regardless of where he ended up.

When he finally arrived, the dusty board to type in your destination seemed welcoming. But although he had had lots of time to think, he was still unsure where to go. His thoughts had mostly been surrounded by Nite and what he needed to do from here, but no answers seemed good enough.

He typed in numbers he knew would take him to another village in the West. As he stepped onto the platform, he took a last glance at the surrounding forest, before he left the dry island of Mokar. When he blinked, his surroundings had changed from dark, brown colors, to green, wet forest, with an inn not far from the gateway. Not too far into the forest, mostly inhabited by dwarves. The inn had been the last place he had been, before he found the Greenlight castle, almost 17 years ago.

The sign still hang in front of the small place; Orc Inn. Despite the name, the owner hadn’t been an orc back then, otherwise Seymore probably wouldn’t have stayed there for long. Although Aenamo prided itself with inclusiveness in their cities and towns, villages and society as a whole, trolls and orcs rarely got along. Trolls usually had their villages on the southern isles in the West, while orcs had their towns on the northern isles instead, thus rarely living close together, besides in the larger, more interracial cities throughout the West and Aenamo as a whole.

Seymore went inside, ordered a room for the night and a bottle of beer. The taste was grim, but he needed something to take his nerves of the situation, while he contemplated what to do from here. The bartender was the same as back then, a gargoyle who didn’t talk much, which he was more than thankful for.

He found the same corner spot, as he had sat in back then; between the big window, beautifully framing the dark spring night outside, and the warm fireplace, lightly burning away without a care in the world. He wanted to sit here, alone, as he had done back then, but this time, there were no one who asked what the lonesome troll was doing out here, on his own, or if he needed guidance on his way further on.

But he couldn’t _solve_ this on his own. No matter what answers he came up with, they all seemed _wrong_. It was wishful to think that he could go back, apologize to Nite, and then go back to things like nothing had ever happened. But it was too overwhelming to think about how much his life would change, if he asked for forgiveness, proposing the idea of a real relationship with the young man. He didn’t even know if he _wanted_ that, anymore, if Nite had a growing interest in black magic.

The thought of leaving the castle all together seemed much more likely, he thought. He had all his money with him, enough for him to find _some_ other solution, he hoped, as well as his very few belongings. But he didn’t _want_ to start over. He didn’t want to have the mahogany eyes haunting him, as Ruvaen’s ice blue ones had done for years before. He didn’t want to add on to his hurt and heartbreak, but he didn’t want to be _the cause_ for Nite’s own trauma, either.

He finished up his beer, still looking outside the window, when a thought hit him. The only reasonable choice he had, if he wanted an outside opinion. The fear of rejection still lingered, but he hoped he wasn’t wrong about getting his hopes up, when he went up to the bartender anew.

,,Do you have a pay phone here, by any chance?’’ he asked, and the gargoyle quietly pointed him in the direction of one. He was lucky that the inn wasn’t as overcrowded and loud as it had been the last time he had went here, and that only a few drunken dwarves played cards in a faraway corner, not anywhere near the phone.

He wasn’t actually sure if the number worked, but he would never know, if he didn’t try. As he typed it in, he wondered what kind of reaction he would get, or if it would even help him in the end. The phone rang, once, twice and thrice, but as he lowered it to hang up, he heard a ‘click’, and a familiar voice on the other end, making his heart pound anew.

,,Hello?’’ His mouth felt dry, and he was lost for words for a moment. ,,… Anyone there?’’ the voice said. He then cleared his throat, stammering through his words:

,,… It’s me… It’s… It’s Seymore…’’ he said quietly. The line was silent for a moment, and he feared she had already hung up on him, but then he noticed the quite breathing on the other end. It was hard to hear anything over his beating heart. ,,I’m sorry for calling you this late, Feylin,’’ he said.

,,Seymore?’’ she asked, as if she didn’t recognize his name. But then he heard her chuckle, a so comforting sound, he hadn’t heard for years. ,,It _is_ late! But it’s okay, how are you, little brother?’’ she said chipperly, making his throat tighten slightly.

,,I’m… Actually, I’m not doing that well…’’ he admitted, feeling tears in his eyes just hearing his sister’s voice. ,,I’m sorry to bother you, and it doesn’t have to be _this exact moment_ , but can we meet up? Anywhere is fine, I just need… I need some guidance and I… I’m alone…’’ he said, choking on his words. The phone felt heavy in his hand, his whole body shaking, as he waited for her to say something. _Anything!_

,,… Where are you now?’’ she asked gently.

,,On some island, called Wendurr. At Orc Inn. Don’t worry, there’s no orcs,’’ he sniffled, chuckling slightly at the absurdity. ,,You don’t have to go now. I know it’s late, and your kids-,’’ he tried, but she interrupted him.

,,That’s not that far. Give me an hour, tops. Don’t worry, Seymore, I’ll be there,’’ she promised him, hanging up even before he could utter a ‘thank you’.

His knees felt weak and he couldn’t fully grasp what he had just done. He couldn’t _escape_ from his feelings now. Whatever happened from here, he needed to be _honest_ , and he felt far from ready for that.

He ordered a big pint of beer this time, trying his best not to drink too quickly, as he didn’t want to be drunk when Feylin arrived. Seymore was a pretty light-weighted drinker after all, and he could already feel the alcohol run through him, but it didn’t make him feel less anxious. If anything, he felt even dizzier now.

The time went by slowly. He was almost dozing off, when he heard the door open, and looked up to see the big figure entering the small inn. Nearly 10 feet tall, the woman awkwardly stepped into the small inn, that besides the tiny door had high ceilings, surely for trolls and orcs not to destroy the building, should they enter. She looked around, as Seymore sheepishly walked up to her, her cheeks rosy from the chilly spring night outside.

,,Seymore!’’ she said warmly, leaning down to grab his shoulders. If Feylin ever had had any ill will towards her little brother, it was hard to tell, as she greeted him like she had truly missed him, only adding to his emotional state. He stood as frozen, just looking at his sister, unable to say anything. ,,What’s the matter, little brother? You look distressed,’’ she said concerned.

,,I haven’t seen another troll in almost 20 years,’’ he sniffled. ,,I can’t believe… that you actually showed up,’’ he said, guiding her to the far off corner where he had located himself, before he went to order a drink for her. As most other troll, it didn’t seem to face Feylin with the big mug in front of her, that she hastily chucked down without problems.

,,Of course I did,’’ she said, seemingly ignoring how emotional he seemed, although she wasn’t uncaring. It was not like when Willa ignored Nite’s distress, or seemingly fabricating his ill intentions. Feylin simply just listened and awaited what Seymore had to tell her, and remained calm otherwise; just as he had expected and longed for. ,,I could hardly recognize you. You look _so_ different!’’ she smiled warmly.

,,Yerh, things change in 20 years’ time,’’ he chuckled, combing his fingers through his invisible hair. ,,Some things never change, though,’’ he shrugged, as he looked down his posture, small compared to his sister’s. She chuckled, before she spoke again:

,,Now, while it’s _so nice_ to see you again, Seymore, I wonder what have _finally_ brought you to contact me?’’ she asked gently.

,,It’s… It’s a long story…’’ he began.

,,I have time,’’ she smiled, and he nodded thankfully.

,,… I don’t know how much… mom and dad have told you about… about everything…’’ he started of slowly.

,,They haven’t really talked about anything,’’ she admitted. ,,I asked about you one day, and was informed that they had cut contact. They didn’t say why, and I didn’t ask. That’s when I began to write you letters instead,’’ she smiled.

,,Okay…’’ he said, smiling nervously. ,,The matter is… The reason was… Ahm, I came home…’’

,,… with your boyfriend,’’ she said, startling the small troll in front of her.

,,… Aye,’’ he said. ,,Did you… know?’’ he asked confused.

,,I always assumed that was why they cut you off,’’ she shrugged. ,,I mean, what _could you_ have done to make them this upset, if not bringing home a _man?_ I almost wish I’d been there,’’ she chuckled, surprising her brother again. ,,Surely, I don’t mind that your loved one is a man. Don’t worry, brother,’’ she said as she saw the distressed look on his face.

,,I’m not… I’m not _gay_ ,’’ he tried, fumbling around with his thoughts. ,,I mean, ahm…’’

,,It doesn’t matter, to me, if you like men, or women, or both. Or whatever you like,’’ she assured him. She then cleared her throat, as her eyes became a little more apologizing. ,,It must have been… really _scary_ for you, back then. You were only in your 20’s, weren’t you?’’ she asked and he nodded.

,,It was…’’ he admitted, wondering how to continue. How _much_ did he want his sister to know about Ruvaen? The matter was with Nite and his situation on the Greenlight castle, but his worries originated with Ruvaen.

,,Is this why you contacted me? To tell me you’re with a man?’’ she asked gently. ,,Are you getting married?’’ she continued, too hastily for him to deny her previous question.

,,No…’’ he said, looking down. ,,I’m not… with that man, anymore. It’s been… an _awful_ long time ago…’’ he said. ,,It’s… It’s not about him… I… I’m not used to talking about this stuff… I feel like I waste your time…’’ he admitted, chuckling nervously.

,,I’ll listen, Seymore. Just… start, whenever you’re ready,’’ she said, as patiently as she could.

Feylin had always been a kind of strange troll as well, he thought, but she was much more adaptable to their society than he had been. She had her own ideas, as she was much more patient and intuitive than anyone he had ever known in the Oatoak clan, but in the end, she still _looked_ like a troll, and for the most part, she still _behaved_ as a troll.

,,Okay…’’ he said, taking a deep breath, still looking down. ,,After I broke things of with my former lover, I found work at a… at a _castle_ , on a far-away island in the West. I cook, I clean, and things are… _quiet_ , but it’s alright…’’ he said slowly. ,,The Madam of the castle is… a _sorceress_ ,’’ he said, looking back up as his sister gasped. For the first time this evening, she looked truly shocked.

,, _No way!_ ’’ she said, almost kind of excited. ,,But… Aren’t that… no, no, go on, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t interrupt,’’ she said, making him chuckle lightly. He had missed her carefree way of viewing things.

,,It’s okay,’’ he smiled. ,,She doesn’t really use her magic a whole lot, so, it was never a problem for me,’’ he said. ,,She has a son. I arrived at the castle when I was about… 24, 25, I think. He was born about a year later.’’

,,… Is _that_ who this problem is about?’’ she asked gently, as Seymore paused to think things through. He nodded, observing his sister’s gentle face again, looking into her big, chocolate brown eyes, deep and warm. Her skin was lighter than his own, but still green and her frizzy, dark brown hair was the same color as his had been, but unlike himself, she still had hers. People usually didn’t guess that they were related, but he couldn’t remember a troll he had felt more in-tune with. ,,What is he? I mean, species?’’ she asked.

,,He’s a human,’’ he said slowly. ,,It’s… all really _complicated_. Maybe… I don’t know, anymore,’’ he admitted.

,,What’s the matter? Is it about his _age?_ He must be around… 16, right? It shouldn’t be a problem, should it?’’ she asked, confused. ,,I mean… _unless_ his mother _views_ you as older, but… _we_ both know that troll’s don’t age like humans…’’ she said confused.

,,I think… I think she’s _aware_ that I’m not in my 40’s, if we compare ages, but I… I think she would view it as… _icky_ … on many levels…’’ he stammered. Feylin was quiet for a while, before she smiled, as comforting as only she could.

,,Then tell me about this _sorcerer_ you fancy so much,’’ she said playfully, making his cheeks heat again.

,,I hardly know where to start…’’ he said, wondering how to put his words.

,,Then, start from the beginning. I want to know _everything_. Well… not… _everything_ , but, you know,’’ she chuckled. He thanked the stars for Feylin’s support and her uplifting spirit.

,,… I never interacted much with him, before the Madam went on a trip, starting last year. An unusually long trip, that gave me the opportunity to get… to know him…’’ he said, avoiding going into details. ,, _He_ doesn’t see me as an adult,’’ he said hastily. ,,And he… Well, he… found _great comfort_ in me, I guess. But he’s very young and don’t know much about the world… So, I don’t know if he… just _believes_ that he… _likes_ me, or if he actually _does_ like me…’’ he said slowly.

,,Hey Seymore?’’ she said, gently placing her head in the palm of her hand, leaning relaxed against the table. ,,Do _you_ like him?’’ she asked. He waited for a moment, before he nodded. ,,Then… why are you _here_ , and not with him?’’ she asked, genuinely confused.

,,You don’t understand,’’ he stammered. ,,With the age gap and the race difference, not to speak of class difference, we’re also both… _men_. You don’t _understand_ how I don’t want him to go through life, feeling alienated and left out, just because he fell for some… _troll_ , when he was just a young man,’’ he said regretfully.

,,… But… isn’t he alone, right now?’’ she asked, making Seymore shiver slightly. ,,Isn’t it better to be alone, _together_ , instead of… leaving something behind, just because _you’re_ scared what will happen?’’ she asked.

,,You sound an awful lot like him…’’ he mumbled.

,,He sounds very smart, then,’’ she chuckled. ,,… You’re afraid what his mother will say?’’ she said gently, and Seymore nodded, feeling his chest pound again. ,,Not _every_ parent are as ours, Seymore. Not every _troll_ parent are as ours,’’ she continued. ,,… There’re other trolls, out there, that like the same sex as themselves. There’re other trolls that likes others _regardless_ of their partners sex… And yes, most of them leave their clans, move to far away cities, trying to get the hang of things, but… that’s because trolls are about _mating_ and _children_ and what not… Surely, humans aren’t _like that_ , are they?’’ she wondered.

,,… I don’t know…’’ he admitted, but that wasn’t his greatest problem right now. ,,… I had a fight with him… Not… _physical_ , but…’’ he stumbled upon his words, tearing up at the thought of Nite. Did he even feel sad, at home at the castle? Or was he just _angry_ , shouting and destroying his stuff? Would he _miss_ Seymore, if he didn’t ever come home? ,,I… don’t know what to do… If I go back… I don’t know if he will ever forgive me, and if I don’t… I have to start all over again… And I don’t… want…’’ he said, trailing off, never finishing the thought.

,,You’re so young,’’ she smiled, making him look up at her again. ,,Why are you here?’’ she asked, almost confused.

,,I… I need advice… I don’t know if I should… _go back_ , trying to patch things up with him, or if I should just… _go_ …’’ he admitted.

,,You don’t need _me_ to give you that answer,’’ she chuckled. He felt a rush at her words, knowing that she was right, even before she spoke again. ,,You wouldn’t have called _me_ , if you didn’t want me to kick your butt back to that castle, would you? You could have asked _anyone, strangers_ even, but you wanted _me_ , because you _knew_ I would want you to follow that man, didn’t you? He must be very special to you, I can only imagine,’’ she smiled. He felt tears drip down his cheeks, but he still smiled when he nodded.

,,… I hoped you would,’’ he chuckled, wiping his eyes with his hand. ,,But that’s not… my only problem,’’ he admitted, taking a deep breath. ,,I… I’m not sure how much sense it will make… I hardly understand it myself… But I think his mother has used… _black magic_ , to _create_ him.’’ This seemed to startled Feylin, just as much as he had expected.

,,Why would anyone _do that?_ ’’ she croaked. Seymore shook his head.

,,I don’t know. But… I think… I think something went _wrong_ , when she did so. He is not… as other humans. And I don’t _mind that_ , actually… It’s been very comforting to get to know someone, like him, but… the fight…’’ he said slowly, looking down again.

,,… What was the fight about?’’ she asked, a little tenser this time.

,,… I think he’s trying to get into black magic as well,’’ he admitted. ,,I… didn’t want his mother to find out about our… relation. She knew we became friends, but I didn’t want her to think it was more than that. But she became… suspicious… My only hope was to tell her about a book he was interested in, that apparently was black magic. I had a suspicion myself, but I didn’t _really_ think… that he would do that…’’ he said slowly.

,,Well, that changes things…’’ she said slowly, looking very concentrated at her little brother. ,,I understand a little _better_ why you wanted an outside opinion. I know, I know, magic and trolls don’t mix well. But _black magic?_ This could be very _dangerous_ ,’’ she said alarmed. Seymore was quiet for a while. He knew she was right, about everything. But he didn’t feel _as_ lost, anymore.

,,I think… I think I love him…’’ he said quietly, startling his sister again. She sat quiet for a while as well, before she nodded approvingly.

,,Well, what do I _really_ know about magic, anyway?’’ she mumbled. ,,If his mother _stopped_ him from using that book, well, then maybe there’s time to save him from that path,’’ she said, giving him a small smile. It was clearly that she was much less comfortable with this part, than the part of them both being men.

,,But I’m _so afraid_ what his mother will do or say… I _don’t_ want him to feel, as I felt, back then, and the world _is_ big, but it’s… it’s scary, out here,’’ he admitted. She nodded, reaching over to pet her little brother’s head, still relaxed and smiling.

,,The world _is_ very scary,’’ she admitted. ,,It’s not the same… and I don’t pretend it is, but when I married Oark, mom and dad weren’t pleased, either. Because, I _was_ very young, and he was _a lot_ older than I. Still old enough to do so, but I guess it wouldn’t have been much different to you, marrying that sorcerer of yours, had you both been human, or such,’’ she shrugged. ,,But Seymore, you got to _fight_ for the things you love. The _people_ you _love_. What if he’s in his room, right now, thinking just as you? You shouldn’t _waste_ a person’s love for you like that, not if you feel the same way.’’

,,You’re right,’’ he smiled, feeling awfully tired all of sudden. Guilty, almost. ,,I… I’m sorry, that it has taken me… _this long_ , to see you again… I’m sorry that I…’’ he stammered, but stopped shortly after.

,,Don’t apologize. I always knew… that life wouldn’t be easy for you. That’s the curse of all this magic, in this world, birth defects are too frequent, but not frequent enough that it’s considered _normal_. I’ve always known you were different… Not… that you liked _men_ , _as well_ ,’’ she added, as he was about to correct her. ,,I don’t have all the answers, Seymore. But you’re making it very _difficult_ for yourself, when it could be very _easy_ ,’’ she said, sighing lightly. He remembered those words all too well.

,,… Thank you,’’ he smiled, before he reached over to grab her hand. ,,I… I’m sorry about… dad…’’ he suddenly said.

,,I actually thought it was about that, at first, when you called me,’’ she admitted, pulling away to sit up straight again, or as straight as she could in the cramped space. ,,Dad got very sick, all of a sudden. He didn’t want the doctor to get involved. _Healers_ , he said. It was quite peaceful, actually, but when I told mom I would write to you… she asked me to say you weren’t invited…’’ she said slowly. ,,I… I didn’t know how to put it, best. I wondered if I even _should_ say anything, but…’’ she began.

,,I’m glad you did,’’ he smiled. ,,If you hadn’t… maybe I wouldn’t have thought it would be… _okay_ , to contact you, this way,’’ he admitted. ,,… I didn’t hate dad. I don’t hate mom, either. But I… I actually don’t think I would have showed up, anyway, even if… you haven’t told me not to do so,’’ he admitted. ,,I just… It _hurts_ , that I didn’t have the opportunity.’’

,,I understand that,’’ she admitted. They were quite for a moment. Seymore wanted to say, that he would like to meet up again, maybe when things had settled with Nite. That he would like for her to meet him, but he didn’t want to be too forward, in case Willa threw him out, head first. ,,Do you have anything else on your mind, little brother? While Oark is _very_ gentle with the kids, and while most of them are asleep by now, I can only _imagine_ how many struggles he has with the baby by now,’’ she chuckled.

,,That’s fine. I’m very grateful that you came here, all this way,’’ he said, smiling softly. She stood up, towering well over any other critter in the inn, walking as slowly as she could towards the entrance again.

,,Write to me sometime, will you? Or call me, I don’t mind,’’ she smiled. ,,I wish you luck with that sorcerer of yours,’’ she said.

,,Thank you, Feylin. I will,’’ he promised. He felt many emotions rush through him, as he saw his sister leave, first the inn itself, and then the island. But although he had maybe thought so, he had no interest in following her. There was nothing safe or comforting about troll villages for him anymore, but if he could, he would want to live a life, where he at some point could see Feylin again. Maybe be an uncle for all her kids? Maybe even see his brothers again, at some point.

He went to his room shortly after his goodbyes with his sister. The room was much bigger than he was used to, but it was empty. Now he really felt how empty _everything_ felt without Nite. As the night passed, he was sleeping restlessly, vividly dreaming about how he would enter the castle, find Nite and make everything alright, making him almost forget all his hesitations before.

He didn’t want to live a life, which didn’t have Nite in it, he thought, as he left the inn early the next morning, already on his way back to Mokar and the Greenlight castle. Nite had said similar things to him in the past, and he now felt ready and anxious for what was to come. Feylin was _right_ , he was wasting time by not taking a leap of fate.

Nite wouldn’t mock his fears. If he found anything he didn’t understand, he would learn about it. Hopefully, it wasn’t too late to open up to him, and he could only hope the young man wasn’t so heartbroken that he couldn’t heal the burn he had caused.

He walked into the castle, the morning light still bright, making the castle seem less ominous than it had done the day before. The halls were empty, and if he was correct, Nite would still be asleep, while Willa was in her own chamber. She would probably not expect him to be back yet, but he wanted to talk with Nite before he talked with her, announcing his return.

Seymore wasn’t sure what possessed him to go into his room. If he had a feeling that something would be off with it, or if he just wanted to drop of his things, he didn’t remember. But on the mattress, his eyes caught a glimpse of something that made his heart sink; the ring, he had given Nite. There was no mistaking, as he picked it up, looking confused and sad at the metal he held.

Where he just a moment before had hoped to not only reunite with the sorcerer, but also, _finally_ , declare his love, he was once again unsure. But unlike all the other times, where he wanted to flee from his complicated feelings, he put the ring in his pocket and wandered off to the sorcerer’s room. In any other case, he would _never_ step a foot into Nite’s room, hadn’t it been for their relation, and he feared it wouldn’t help his case any further to do so, but he couldn’t wait. He knocked quietly on the door, opening it slightly.

But to his surprise, Nite was already awake, sitting on his bed, reading. He didn’t look up, as if he expected the troll to come by at any given moment. Seymore stood in front of the open door for a moment, before he walked into the dark room, closing the heavy doors behind him.

,,I’m sorry for… just about everything… I’m sorry for coming by this early… I’m sorry I didn’t come by yesterday instead… I’m really sorry, Nite, about…’’ but he was cut off, when the small man _slammed_ his book shut, looking furious up at him, startling the troll.

,,I don’t care,’’ he said, surprisingly calm, given his demeaner. ,,I’m _tired_ of this, Seymore. I’m tired of you, picking and choosing what is right and wrong. _For me_. You said I don’t know you, but _I do_. I know literature can make you smile. I know you prefer the romance genre, for some reason unknown to me. You like to cook, your favorite vegetable is asparagus, and you hate to get your hands dirty while you bake. I know you like long baths and candle-lights and sitting underneath a blanket to _kiss_. And I know you’re afraid and hurt, all the time, but I don’t know _why_. And I’m not _allowed_ to know _why_ ,’’ he said, just as a matter-of-factly, as if he had read a description of something in his book. ,,And I’m _tired_ of that. I’m tired of trying. I’m tired of feeling _rejected_ , if not my feelings, then… _my whole being_ ,’’ he said, his breath getting shallow.

,,I know,’’ he tried, gently stepping forward, but Nite moved away, further into the big bed. ,,I want to make up for it…’’ he tried, but Nite shook his head.

,,I don’t want that, anymore,’’ he said, his voice cold as ice, making Seymore’s heart sink further into his stomach. ,,I’ve wanted that for _so long_ , but not anymore. You have _no idea_ what you did yesterday. How much research went into that book! How much _time_ I’ve _spent_ trying to open that Godforsaken thing! And all that, _just_ because she thought I was in love. Which I _was!_ But you couldn’t handle the bare thought of her, even _suspecting_ that I was _able_ to _love someone!_ ’’ he shouted, throwing his pillow at the troll. Seymore was too surprised too even catch it.

,,Nite, I know, _I know_ , let me _change that_ …’’ he tried, but Nite stood up, throwing yet another pillow at him.

,, _No!_ ’’ he yelled, his voice quivering. ,,I can’t _trust you!_ I can’t get that book back, I _need_ that book back!’’ he whined.

,,I’m sorry…’’ he said quietly, trying to hold around the small man, but he was rejected again. ,,You don’t _need_ that book, Nite. You don’t _need_ black magic. I’m so sorry I ratted you out. I _want_ to make up for it. I _want_ you, I l-,’’ but the small man cut him off again.

,,All you want is to rub yourself off against me! You can play nice _all_ you want, _I don’t care!_ _Go way!_ _Fuck off!_ You’re _rotten_ inside!’’ he screamed, slamming his hands against the troll’s chest. His hands felt strangely weak, Seymore noticed.

,,… Yes, I am…’’ he admitted, kneeling down to look into the sorcerer’s eyes, but he wouldn’t meet his gaze. He wondered, if it really was worth being selfish like this? How much hurt wouldn’t he cause Nite, if he kept going like this? He couldn’t _fix_ this. ,,You’ll never believe me… but I really _am_ sorry… And I would give _anything_ for you to smile again…’’ he said gently, getting the ring up from his pocket. The metal caught the sad, mahogany eyes, but he still didn’t look at Seymore. ,,… _Anything_ … _Please_ tell me how to fix this…’’ he begged, gently placing the ring back in the sorcerer’s hand.

Nite looked at the ring, carefully twisting it between his long fingers. Clearly contemplating _what_ could make up for this? Maybe thinking about if it was worth it, wasting more time on the troll than he already had?

,,… I’m sorry, Seymore…’’ he said, his voice so fragile, as he placed the ring into the troll’s big, warm hands, using his own hands to close of the green ones. He finally looked up, into the amber eyes, and Seymore knew it would be the last time he had the opportunity to feel those long, cold hands against his skin, just by the way he looked at him. ,,It shouldn’t take _this_ for you to… _want_ me… You’re right, maybe I _am_ confused… Maybe I really _don’t_ know what love is… But I _know_ I don’t want this… I’m… I’m sorry… but you have to leave my room now…’’ he said, all traces of his anger faded, and the hurt so clear in his big, beautiful, mahogany eyes.

That he had _ever_ thought Nite wasn’t beautiful, was a mystery to him. All the time he had _wasted_ , fearing things that seemed so helplessly unimportant right now, as Nite closed himself off again. Closed off from the world, closed off from him, with no hope to break that barrier again. Could he just lean a little closer, hold him a little tighter, kiss him a little more… But that wouldn’t make up for the things he had done.

,,… Okay…’’ he said, slowly standing up, the ring still in his hand. He stood frozen to the place for a moment, wondering what to do from here? Maybe he _should_ just leave? But if he was about to do so, it shouldn’t be _his_ easy way out. It should be for _Nite_. ,,… Do you want me to leave the castle, too?’’ he asked gently. Nite thought about it for a moment, before he turned around, returning to his bed and his book again.

,,No. I don’t care what you do. I don’t care if you stay in the basement chamber, either. If you want to run away, do so. I just… don’t want you in _here_ ,’’ he said, pretending to read his book, but even through the dim light, it was easy to see his eyes didn’t move across the page. They were glossy and dark.

,,… As you wish,’’ he said, turning around to step out of the room, he had grown so familiar to. ,,… I really wish, that one day, I can make up for the harm I’ve done, Nite. I really _am_ sorry… And you were right, all along. I _do_ make things hard…’’ he sighed, closing the door behind him.

Nothing had hurt more, than when Nite had uttered the words, he knew, he had so many troubles with, normally. The way he looked, the way his voice faded away, when he managed to say it. He _hated_ that the only time the human had ever told him _I’m sorry_ , was when Seymore had _hurt_ him so much, that he couldn’t justify keeping up their relation, and he had _driven_ the sorcerer to the point, where he felt so helpless, _so devastated_ , that he apologized for not welcoming Seymore back into his life, when the troll, once again, had betrayed his trust regarding his mother.

Seymore went down into the basement chamber, laid on the mattress, looking at the ring in his hand. He wondered, if he had ended up the same way, if he hadn’t _insisted_ that day, that it wasn’t an engagement ring. But in the end, as all his other wonders and what-if’s, it didn’t matter now. He had been too slow.


	14. 14) Pretty, little doll

He liked to read, he told himself. By himself, enveloped into words and worlds and knowledge, far beyond what the _real_ world could offer him, anyway. He didn’t _need_ anyone, out there, books couldn’t _hurt_ him.

Or could they? Sometimes, when he had a weak moment, he wondered if his mother had been _right_ about that book? That he didn’t really _grasp_ what black magic even was? But what did _she_ know about that, anyway? Why did it matter to her, what kind of powers he pursued? Did she think so _little_ of him, that she thought he would be consumed by magic like that?

It was her own fault for not protecting the castle better. Sure, he _knew_ she wouldn’t be happy with him, fiddling with that book, but _he_ didn’t put it in his study chamber. Clearly, she didn’t either, but he felt no guilt for trying to open the book, without notifying her first.

But… had it been worth it? He sometimes wondered if it really _had_ been, in the end. Now, he was alone again, and while he tried to _convince_ himself that it was _fine_ with him, he couldn’t deny that the big, empty castle, didn’t feel any less empty, now his sole provider of socializing was gone…

When the troll had left that night, after their fight, he hadn’t expected him to come back to the castle. He had prepared himself for that, leaving the ring in the basement chamber, _should_ he come back, both to let him know they were done with whatever they were, and to alert himself. The ring had been enchanted to alert him of the return, should it be moved. His mother wouldn’t go down there, so it could _only_ be if the troll came back.

As he had felt the slight tingle, jolting him awake from his restless sleep, he knew he only had a moment to make up his mind. But he was still too _hurt_ and confused to even consider what the older man was saying. He barely remembered their conversation, anymore.

From then on, the troll stopped trying chatting him up. He figured he wanted to give him space, but it only cemented that he didn’t know him that well. Nite didn’t want space. He didn’t _need_ to be swept off his feet in some grand, romantic gesture, but he _needed_ reassurance, that he was _wanted_. If the troll couldn’t provide that, then maybe it _was_ for the best that he didn’t even try to make up.

Maybe he _had_ acted out of loneliness? Maybe he really _was_ too young to know what love was… In the end, it didn’t matter, he thought, as he read through thousands of pages, to find _something_ to distract his thoughts. His thoughts about black magic, that had surrounded him for months now. His thoughts about his mother, and the loneliness it brought back when she arrived home. But mostly, no amount of books or knowledge, could get his thoughts away from that _damned_ troll…

Nite was too proud and stubborn to _ever_ apologize. And while he _knew_ why the troll had been concerned, he didn’t feel like _he_ was the one to apologize for this. The troll had _known_ he didn’t want his mother to know about the book. It _had_ been an act of fear and selfishness that had made him tell her, and he couldn’t just _forgive_ that!

Days became weeks, and soon every last ounce of concern his mother had seemed to have that night, when she told him that the troll would take a small trip to see some family, faded away as had it never been there. She returned to teaching him every once in a while, but mostly, he studied by himself. His mother simply just made sure that he made _some kind of progress_ , as she put it. He had wondered why before, but now he understood that she waited for the day, where she didn’t have to hide him, anymore.

Any want to see the outside world had faded as time went by. And while he before had looked forward to his mother’s continued travels, now it seemed to bring him doubt. When she told him, that she would go on another, shorter trip, only mere months after she had been away from the castle for half a year, he wondered if _this_ was what the troll had waited for. Maybe he simply wanted for them to be alone, if he was to take contact to him again?

But he _didn’t_. It made Nite even more bitter to think about. The troll didn’t approach him, and he rarely saw him around the castle. Not that Nite _looked_ for him, but if he had to stroll around the castle, he could _at least_ look for the troll.

This became his new life. The leaves on the trees turned from knobs, to the greenest they would ever become here, before they turned brown and fell off, leaving the trees as naked as he himself felt. The troll had _said_ he wanted to make things right again. Why _didn’t_ he make up for it, then? _How long_ could it take him, anyway?

For a long time, Nite simmered in his anger. For months, he waited for something that never arrived. He didn’t talk about his troubles, because really, _who_ could he talk to about this? While he owed the troll _nothing_ , he didn’t want to involve his mother. If this was due to her not being able to understand him, or him still being somewhat faithful to the troll, he didn’t even know himself.

But as time passed, and his anger faded, rose again and faded yet another time, he would stop and notice the small things, he had looked past in his anger. The simple things, like how his meals were prepared. He hadn’t noticed it right away, as he had been used to the way the troll had cooked, when it had only been the two of them. He prepared his food the same way, the same small tips and tricks he had learned to make Nite enjoy his meals a little more. He thought it might have been out of habit, but it didn’t change, and he knew his mother’s meals were nothing like his own.

Or how his clothes were washed with faint, citrusy smells, reminding him of the shampoo he himself had used every time he wanted to make the troll notice him a little more.

Or the pies and sweets, that followed his dinners more frequently now than before, despite him _never_ hearing his mother speak of eating any of them herself.

It took him so long to realize, that he _almost_ felt embarrassed. Hadn’t he been so stubborn, he would probably have tried to talk it out with the troll, but he couldn’t. It felt like the older man _avoided_ him, and he wasn’t sure if it was due to their argument, or if his mother had said something to him. Maybe he was mad at him, for the lies he had told about his magic, or the recklessness he had handled it with?

What if he really _had_ meant it, when he said he didn’t want _this_ anymore? Making up and doing things right didn’t mean he wanted to _continue_ their relation, Nite had to remind himself. It meant that the troll felt _guilty_ , and he could only imagine that to be true.

If he had _really_ wanted to make things right, he wouldn’t have left his bedroom that day, Nite thought. But he knew it was a lie. The troll was far too submissive to defy an order, even if it was from Nite. Maybe _especially_ because it was Nite.

His birthday came and went, and once again, the spring approached. The days blended together and seemed unimportant. But then, one faithful day, when his mother invited him to the secret corridor full of rooms, he could hardly remember the contents of, his interest in the outside world was piqued once again.

,,Time really flies,’’ she said, absentmindedly as she read through Nite’s unreadable scribbles. ,,I think it’s about time,’’ she said, handing him back the papers.

,,For what?’’ he said, uninterested.

,,It’s time for you to accompany me on my travels,’’ she said, finally looking at him. At first, he didn’t really understand her words. Like, he couldn’t _process_ the meaning. Then, he got suspicious.

,,… Why? I mean, why _now?_ ’’ he asked.

,,Well, you’ve behaved quite well after your… _incident_ , last year. And you’re reaching an age and a magic capability, where it would be _possible_ for you to accompany me around,’’ she shrugged. ,,Sit down, Wi-… I mean, sit down _Nite_. I have some pretty heavy explaining to do,’’ she said, prompting him to sit in front of her desk, with her on the other side; as to distance herself, both physical and emotionally. He didn’t sit down.

,,What? Am I _adopted?_ ’’ he grimaced sarcastically, knowing all too well what she was about to say.

,,No you’re not,’’ she sighed, already tired of his tone. ,,… You are indeed my flesh and blood. But in terms of magic, and aura and essence… it’s only a few people who knows of your existence,’’ she said. When he didn’t react, she became nervous. ,,Did you _know_ that?’’ she asked suspiciously.

,,Eh,’’ he shrugged, playing it off rather well. ,,I just figured that it was a _possibility_ , since I’m not allowed to leave the castle. But why hide a _baby?_ Sure, it wouldn’t look _great_ if a 3-year-old popped up out of nowhere, but _why_ go through the effort of _hiding_ a baby, in the first place?’’ he asked. The initial chock he had felt back then had faded a long time ago, and while he could ask many questions, he found that he wasn’t that interested in knowing the answers. Whatever reasoning she could come up with, would fall flat.

,,You were a very… _special_ baby…’’ she hesitated. ,,I needed to make sure you were safe, and I can’t stress enough that fear I had that someone would take you away, and use you for all sorts of awful things. You were a very _powerful_ sorcerer, even as a baby,’’ she said slowly. This might have piqued his interest at some point, but all he heard was her selfishness. Even if that was the case, she would have _known_ that Nite would have understood that, even years prior to this. Just as the lying troll, she didn’t tell the whole truth, but he didn’t care, anymore.

,,I see they haven’t found me yet,’’ he said slowly, looking down at the desk. ,,They couldn’t be that big of a threat,’’ he concluded, walking towards the door.

,,Where are you going?’’ she asked confused.

,,To pack my things. I _assume_ we’re leaving in a couple of days. Or hours, or minutes, I don’t know. You usually leave quite fast after announcing such a trip,’’ he said.

,,You don’t have any other questions?’’ she asked, almost hurt. ,,About… _how_ I did it, or where we are going or… _anyone else?_ ’’ she asked, clearly preparing for every question under the sun. He just shook his head, moving closer to the door.

,,Not really, no. The matter of fact is, that regardless of _why_ , the _how_ you did it, have been awful. You say I’m _disobedient_ or want to cause _havoc_ , but _why_ do you think I want that? Your answer is as good as mine, _I don’t know_ , because you rarely even _talk_ with me, _mother_ ,’’ he said harshly, taking his leave.

,,Every time I try to teach or talk to you, you cut me of,’’ she insisted, making him stop in the doorway. ,,What happened to the curious son I had, asking about the outside world and where he came from? Doesn’t _any of that_ matter, anymore?’’ she asked. For a moment, he felt lost. Should he tell her the truth? He didn’t want to. She wasn’t allowed to see his insecurities and his still broken heart.

,,He’s _gone_ ,’’ he just simply said. ,,Now, excuse me, I’ll go pack.’’ She yelled something after him, something about leaving tonight, but he didn’t respond. Everything around him felt black and suffocating, but for some reason, he could still breathe. He could still walk. As if he was in some sort of trance, he just walked down the hallways, heading to his room.

In some ways, the troll reminded him of his mother. How avoidantly they tried to be around conflicts. How _little_ effort they put in, in making things right. Sure, regarding the troll, he himself could try to initiate the conversation, but he didn’t _feel_ like he was in the wrong. _Sure_ , black magic was forbidden, and as he had expected, the troll had reacted strongly, that was why he hadn’t told him about the content of the book. _SURE_ , he was afraid to be rejected, yet again, afraid to be a forgotten memory in the troll’s mind, and afraid that he _really_ only had been with him, due to his lonesomeness.

Months of confusion and denial culminated in that one, heartbreaking thought; _He_ hadn’t done it out of loneliness. Whatever strong feeling it had been back then, was still there. _Love_ or _affection_ , even _friendship_ , he didn’t feel a _need_ for it, but it was still _there_. He didn’t want _love_. He wanted that damned troll. He wanted _Seymore_ … But _he_ didn’t really want him, did he?

How could he compare to a pixie, anyway? How could he make up for that his mere _existence_ was everything that Seymore was afraid of or didn’t want? Nite felt they were so _similar_ , but the troll _always_ only saw their differences. Even if the troll hadn’t _complained_ about how Nite looked, he was aware that he had a very _particular_ taste, even if he seemed to like what other trolls did as well. But Nite was neither beautiful and dandy as the pixie, or big and broad as trolls would be. _If not_ loneliness, what had brought Seymore to even _touch_ _him?_

All those questions had to wait for now, he thought, as he packed up his bags. He went through his most used books, and other stuff he deemed necessary to his travel out in the unknown. Although he still wore his big, greyish sweater, he made sure to pack more _flattering_ clothes, simply because he assumed his mother would want that.

He wasn’t as _excited_ as he had thought he would be. For a long time, he had wanted nothing more than to follow his mother to whatever kind of mystical, magical affair she had going on, but now, it seemed _pointless_. He couldn’t rid himself of the thought, that his mother wanted _nothing_ to do with him, and if anything, she had wanted to get rid of him back when he was a baby. But why hadn’t she? He couldn’t _ask_ those kinds of questions, because frankly, he didn’t know if he would be able to bear the answer.

When he stepped outside of his room, he caught a glimpse of the troll as he stepped into the basement chamber. He wasn’t sure if he himself had been spotted, but a sudden _urge_ came over him. Maybe because he soon would be away from the castle? Maybe because the fear always would linger, that one day, the troll wouldn’t be to find in his chamber, and Nite would _never_ get the chance to say _anything_.

He put the bags down beside his door, and walked with long, confident steps, stopping at the entrance to the basement chamber. It was too dark to see anything, looking down into the room, and although he _knew_ Seymore could see him, he didn’t say anything, he didn’t move, trying to make himself unnoticeable, which only lit his anger once again.

,,Tell me one thing,’’ Nite said, trying to control the raging fire he once again felt inside. ,,Did she _ask_ you to act this way? Or has it been your _own free choice_ to avoid me, all this time?’’ As far as he could see or hear, the troll didn’t move, but he _must’ve_ heard him. ,, _Don’t_ make me come down there,’’ he said between his teeth.

,,… She asked me to,’’ he admitted. His voice seemed _so weird_. He hadn’t heard it in almost a whole _year_. Like a faint memory, his anger washed away, and longing to be held in those strong arms overcame him again. ,,… And even though her reasonings were different… I believe… it was for the best…’’ he said quietly, standing up to get closer to the entrance of his room. ,,I never meant to hurt you. But you’re too young to understand what I try to protect you from…’’ he said, walking closer to the dim light from the hallway.

,,But you didn’t _protect_ me from anything,’’ he said defeated. ,,You protected _yourself!_ ’’ he whined, but stopped the moment the light flashed over the troll’s face.

,,I know. And you’re right,’’ he said quietly, keeping his distance to the human. ,,But just as I can never _make up for_ the way I hurt you, I can never _explain_ to you why I won’t be good for you. It will bring you hurt and frustration, if we’ve kept so close. Because, one day… we wouldn’t be able to…’’ he said slowly.

,,Why? What do you mean?’’ he asked confused. It was clear that he didn’t want to elaborate, but if anything, it seemed like he felt he _at least_ owed him _that_.

,,She will probably tell you herself, your mother, but… I have… _never_ asked about her travels, but she’s… I don’t know, she called it ‘in a circle’, but I don’t know what that means… You probably do,’’ he said, almost smiling.

,,I do,’’ he said, waiting for the troll to speak again.

,,Good. She’ll probably try to betroth you with someone _in_ the circle,’’ he said, looking down. ,,And while you… _at some point_ , might have thought otherwise… I really _don’t_ think I’m worth that fight…’’ he said quietly.

Nite wanted to protest, but despite all his warm, fuzzy feelings, he couldn’t. When he looked at the troll in front of him, the only person he had really felt safe with, he _still_ felt betrayed and hurt. Mostly, he felt that Seymore was weak, and he couldn’t make peace with that.

,,I think you’re right about that,’’ the sorcerer said, his voice toneless and his face hard. ,,I _don’t_ want to be included in her _sister society_. Neither by blood or by wedding my way into it. But if your concern _still_ is my mother, then I don’t-,’’ he began, but the troll’s big, fearful eyes looked up at him, startling him mid in his sentence.

,,I’m _scared_ , Nite. For _so many things_ , I can hardly put to words. I’m _scared_ of your mother. What would I do, if I caused her to _hurt_ you, simply just by taking a place she had planned for someone else to take?’’ he whispered hastily. ,,I’m not trying to _deny_ that what I did was wrong… What I _do_ is wrong… But I don’t know what she is capable of doing. I want you to be able to _get away_ , one day. Out in the world, to a place you can feel safe.’’

,,Then it’s your lucky day,’’ he sighed, turning around. ,,I’m _finally_ permitted to go out. Surely, to that circle of hers, but _at least_ that’s a little further away from _here_ ,’’ he said, spacing out as he did so. He thought he had gotten rid of that habit, but clearly not, because the troll had undoubtably heard him. ,,In the end, troll, you’ve always chosen my mother, and the comfort that living here gives you, _even_ if you’re lonely. But that’s okay. I don’t want you to choose me, if it causes you _these_ many concerns. Simply, I just couldn’t be, whatever it is that you want,’’ he said, leaving to get his bags.

,,Please wait,’’ he said, actually following the small man into the hallway, but Nite didn’t turn around. ,,It had nothing to do with you, I _promise_ -.’’

,,Your promises are _empty!_ ’’ he sneered. ,,You _say_ that, but it’s not true. You risked _everything_ for him!’’ he bit back.

,,And where did I end up?’’ he said, louder and a little shakier now. ,,If I _hadn’t_ risked everything, I _might’ve_ had a home!’’

,,Then _tell_ me what happened! Let me _understand_ why I feel so _rejected_ and _alone?_ Tell me _why_ you made me feel all that _he_ did to you?!’’ he shouted back, huffing when he looked backed at the flustered troll.

,,I… I can’t…’’ he stammered. ,,There’s… simply not a good enough reason, for that…’’ he said slowly, looking guilty down at his hands.

,, _Fine_. Do as you please,’’ he said, yanking his bags towards him, before he walked past the troll, away from him and all his lies. But to his surprise, the older man followed him. ,,What _is it_ that you want from me?’’ he bit back, looking straight in front of him as the troll walked behind him.

,,… I don’t know…’’ he admitted. ,,I want to talk. I want to make sure you’re _okay_ … I…’’ he said, stopping as Nite did the same.

,,But _I_ don’t want that,’’ he hissed. It was hard for him to keep spewing his hard words, when Seymore looked so distressed… But he didn’t know _what_ the troll had to say, to make it all feel alright. He feared, that he _couldn’t_ make it feel alright, whether or not they spoke together or not.

,,Then… Then I want you to go out there… And I hope you can find someone, that makes sure you’re okay… That you will _allow_ to do so…’’ he said hesitantly.

,,I don’t want that _either_ ,’’ he said. ,,I don’t _want_ a lover, anymore. I didn’t want you because I _needed_ to fill some void of not having a lover. I wanted _you_ , _every single part of you_ , in every single way,’’ he said quietly. ,,I don’t _need_ someone to fill that spot. That spot is _gone_ ,’’ he concluded, turning around again to wait in the hallway.

As he traveled through island after island with his mother, he would always think back to this moment. He imagined that if Seymore had _just_ tried one more time, if he had _just_ said this or that, that he would have forgiven him this time. Nite knew it was unlikely, but he liked to put the blame on the troll, as he had stopped following the human, and finally turned around in defeat.

And really, what would he had said? Nite didn’t want to listen to all his reasons, that he had heard before. He wanted to know _why_ the troll was so afraid. Maybe _that_ would have been the thing to heal their relation, but Nite couldn’t know that for sure. If anything, Seymore could risk everything yet _again_ , still end up with the sorcerer not forgiving him, and Nite didn’t _really_ want that _either_.

He didn’t _like_ that he felt jealous of the pixie. He had never met him, and _yet_ he seemed to want to _destroy_ that man, he knew so little about! But anger could only get him so far. When his distress about whatever had happened between the pixie and the troll in the past faded, his insecurities arose again, as he couldn’t help but to feel it wouldn’t have been _as_ hard for the troll to take him as his lover, had he looked _anything_ like a beautiful pixie.

Had his mind been at a better place, he might have enjoyed the journey more, but he didn’t feel as excited as when he had walked around the castle with the troll, the ground covered in frost and the air so cold it hurt him. He wondered if this was due to him simply just changing after the whole incident, or if he wouldn’t have enjoyed it, even if he had _never_ fallen for Seymore in the first place? They went through multiple islands, both by the gateways, but also with boats, floating from island to island. He didn’t know exactly where they were, and he mostly didn’t disturb his mother, when he didn’t have to.

In the past, he would bother and bicker with his mother, but now he didn’t have the time or energy for that. She _seemed_ satisfied with this, but that didn’t settle his looming anger towards her.

When they finally arrived at their destination, his mother stopped him, before they went into what mostly seemed like a cave, hidden on an overgrown mountain. If Seymore had been right about his mother’s plans, and she wanted to introduce him to her _witch circle_ , then it made sense the hideout was in a cave. While not very common anymore, there were nothing wrong with forming a circle or a _witch society_ , but mostly it was seen as a taboo.

,,Listen, Nite,’’ she said, gesturing for him to sit down on a log, but he kept standing. ,,… Since I came to Aenamo, I was one of three founding sorceress’ in the circle, we’re about to enter. My travels have many purposes, but mostly, I visit this place a couple of times a year,’’ she informed him.

,,How neat,’’ he muttered, looking uninterested at the cave. He waited for her to disclose her idea of finding him a wife, but her next words surprised him:

,,When we’re here, you’ll call me aunt Willa. They cannot know I’m your mother,’’ she said sternly.

,,But _circles_ aren’t supposed to have secrets,’’ he said doubtingly. ,,You’re supposed to be _one blood_ ,’’ he continued.

,,… They do not know I had a child. But I’ve told them about my _nephew_ , Nite. While I couldn’t _imagine_ that this would be the time you would use your birthname, it’s _very_ important that you _don’t_ ,’’ she said seriously.

,,Okay,’’ he said, looking at the cave again. ,,I’m your nephew, just arrived from Vaihines,’’ he said, repeating words he deemed she would like to hear. She nodded, taking in a deep breath before they walked closer to the caves entrance.

It was hidden between a tight forest, but even through the woods you could spot the enormous opening of the cave. It seemed _darker_ than it should be, _clearly_ to distract anyone from entering. He felt a slight chill when they passed the opening of the cave, but kept as calm as he could be.

,,How many are included in your circle?’’ he whispered, as they walked through long cave halls, only dimly lit up, barely enough for him to not trip over himself.

,,17 elders. But most of us have children, or apprentices,’’ she said quietly. ,,Not every member will be here tonight. But you’ll probably meet a lot of people around your age,’’ she said.

,,Huh, neat,’’ he said sarcastically.

,,Don’t be like that,’’ she scolded. ,,Wouldn’t that be _nice?_ Wasn’t that the reason you wanted to see the world?’’ she asked, almost convincing him she was interested.

,,No, it wasn’t,’’ he said dryly. ,,Besides, I already _know_ someone my own age.’’ She stopped and looked suspiciously at him, before he rolled his eyes. ,, _Seymore_ is my age. Or as close as it can be, when comparing ages,’’ he said irritated.

,,That’s not the same,’’ she said dismissively, continuing down the dark cave. ,,Trolls _might_ age differently, but he has still lived many more years than you have even been born, even _before_ he arrived at the castle. You’ll get to know _other_ 17-year-olds here,’’ she concluded.

Her words simmered in his head for a moment. It suddenly made all too much sense _why_ Seymore had been so scared. Nite wasn’t _foolish_ , he _knew_ she would have _never_ accepted him dating a 40-year-old _human,_ regardless of their gender. But Nite wasn’t _interested,_ in someone so much older. He was interested in Seymore, because he _knew_ that he, as much as himself, was a struggling adolescent. He _knew_ his mother wasn’t as interested in other species and cultures as himself, but he had _naively_ never guessed she wouldn’t even _acknowledge_ that Seymore wasn’t comparable to a human’s age.

,, _At least_ try to be nice, Nite. It’s very important to me,’’ she whispered, as they got closer to what he assumed was the main room of the cave. The walls widened up, and at the end of the tunnel, there were light.

,,Fine,’’ he mumbled. ,,But I’m not interested in being included in your _circle_ ,’’ he said, stopping when she did, not far from the light entrance. He could hear laughter and muffled voices from the other side of what seemed to be pure light, hurting his eyes.

,,Oh, don’t worry about that. It’s a _sister_ society, you wouldn’t be let in, anyway,’’ she said, almost smiling. ,,But you can still gain knowledge from this, and hopefully, one of the younglings can be a good _influence_ on you.’’ Even if Seymore hadn’t told him anything, he would have guessed that his mother wanted to marry him off, just by the sound of her voice.

They stepped through the light, and he felt blind and weak for a moment. When his vision returned to normal, he was greeted by the sight of a beautifully decorated place, barely even resembling a cave. Everywhere were fairy lights, sparkling in millions of different colors. In the middle of the room where a black cauldron, simmering away with something that mostly smelled like soup. In every corner where the same pillow-like chairs his mother had in her private library, containing many different species.

He saw more elves, not surprisingly, but also a couple of fairies and half-breeds that were a mix between almost anything; merfolk, nagas, even some that resembled dwarves and dragons, but also species he couldn’t recognize or haven’t heard of.

,,Willa,’’ a voice greeted, as he took in the sight around him. A tall lady, mostly resembling a human, walked towards his mother and him with open arms. Her face where white, much whiter than her skin underneath her make-up, and her lips where red as blood. He wouldn’t be surprised if she had vampires in her family.

,,Irene,’’ his mother said, returning in a warm tone he had _never_ heard her use before. ,,I’m _so_ happy to see you again.’’ Nite kept looking around, already bored as his mother and this Irene began to talk, but his wandering thoughts suddenly got interrupted, when the woman spoke to him directly.

,,Well, well, aren’t you going to introduce me to your…?’’ Irene said, gesturing to Nite.

,,Nephew,’’ Nite said, nodding slightly in her direction. He didn’t take her hand, when she stretched it out to greet him. ,,My name is Nite,’’ he told.

,,Don’t be rude,’’ his mother scolded, but Irene just retreated her hand with a smile.

,,Don’t worry, Willa, my dear. In a circle it can _indeed_ be wise to doubt strangers,’’ she smiled mischievously. If Nite didn’t know any better, he would say her eyes shifted from warm to _hungry_ as she looked at him, but he tried to brush it off. ,,You never told me about _any_ family!’’ she scolded Willa playfully, but her warm tone suddenly seemed chilly.

,,He has just arrived from Vaihines,’’ she told, almost proudly, an unfamiliar sound when she talked about him. ,,And I thought he could learn a thing or two here.’’

,,Really?’’ she said, her grey eyes piercing into the young man’s mahogany ones. ,,If I didn’t know any _better_ , I would say you were trying to have your nephew _mingle_ with the other younglings,’’ she smiled, revealing her white teeth. As far as he could tell, her canines weren’t that pointy, but her mannerisms still alerted him, as if she was about to attack him. ,,And you’re lucky, young man, because we have a lot of sisters gathered tonight, and most have their youngling with them,’’ she said.

,,Oh, lucky me, aren’t I?’’ he said dryly, wandering away from his mother and her friend, looking around the place as if he owned it, wondering why his mother would even _think_ of marrying him off to her _precious_ circle?

Maybe it was some _ritual_ thing, he thought, as he looked through books in foreign languages he had yet to understand. Or maybe one of the younglings needed a potential mate? He couldn’t _imagine_ that his mother saw him as a good fit for a young lady, it was more likely to be the other way around she hoped for, and if the other elders of the circle didn’t _know_ about him, they couldn’t have requested for him to be there.

As the minutes passed, he heard whispers around him, but he didn’t pay much attention towards them. He wasn’t curious about the people, only the tons of books he had never seen before. He didn’t mind that no one bothered to talk to him, as he occupied himself in one of the corners, waiting for his mother’s return to scold him.

,,Up,’’ she said, when she finally came back to him. ,,We’re having a meeting, and you’re coming with me. You’ll be quiet, unless spoken to,’’ she informed him as he stood up from one of the big pillow chairs, that nearly swallowed his tiny body.

,,Alright, _auntie_ ,’’ he said, just as defiantly as when he spoke to her as his mother. She was about to scold him again, but decided not to, it seemed.

Behind one of the beautifully decorated cave walls, painted with glittery paint in uneven patterns, and with all sorts of dried flowers and leaves, where another entrance, to yet another room in the cave. Walking through the otherwise solid wall didn’t face him as weird in a place like this, filled to the brim with sorceress’, young and old.

The table was a giant map of Aenamo. Around the magnificent, round table, where placed 34 chairs. Some of the chairs had their backs turned towards the table, and just by looking around him, he assumed it was those members that wouldn’t be present tonight.

His mother and himself took a seat around the Northern part of the table, which confused him. While he wasn’t _exactly_ sure if it mattered, it seemed to be fixed seats. _Maybe_ his mother had started the circle while she was settled in North, but that didn’t make sense to him. As far as he knew, she had always been in the West, although not always on Mokar. And even _if_ that had been the case, well, why hadn’t they fixed it by _now?_

Much more likely, she lied. It sent weird chills down his spine, for some reason. While Nite didn’t have a strong sense of moral and comradery, he did _understand_ the power of the circle. The power of _being one_ and having a _collected_ power. Why, and how, his mother could be part of a circle when she wasn’t true about _any_ of her life, surprised him.

But it also made him more wary. _Sure_ , Irene _seemed_ nice enough, but he couldn’t rid himself of some _weird_ vibes from her. Maybe she reminded him too much of his own mother, despite her seemingly chatty and kind personality, but just like with his mother, she seemed like she _hid_ something. He shrugged it off again, reminding himself that he probably just didn’t _understand_ people correctly.

,,Greetings, beloved sisters,’’ Irene said, standing up as the others sat down. This gave Nite a good opportunity to look around the surrounding sorceress’, even finding a couple of young men in their midst, but he got distracted when he lad eyes upon the girl at Irene’s side, completely blocking out everything she was saying.

The girl herself was extremely beautiful, but that wasn’t why Nite couldn’t stop staring at her. Although she _looked_ a lot like Irene, there were something eerie over her eyes. She had the same golden hair and white skin, and her face were painted a lot like her mother’s, but her eyes weren’t grey, they were pitch black, no eye-whites, just pure, black nothingness. She _did have_ eyes, because as far as he could see, she moved them around as Irene spoke.

,,Who’s that?’’ he whispered to his mother, gently nodding to the girl beside Irene. His mother sent him a scolding look for not listening to what was being said, but answered regardless:

,,That’s Fae. She’s Irene’s daughter, but don’t get too close to her. She might look like a fair young lady, but she’s much too old for you,’’ she said quietly, returning her attention back to Irene’s speech.

She didn’t look a day over 18, he thought. Surely, _that_ wouldn’t be too old for him. If she was a vampire, she could be _hundreds_ of years old, maybe that was what his mother meant. But as she sat there, silent and obediently, her long, golden hair down her back, and her arms folded in front of her, puffing up in the sparkly, faint yellow dress, he felt slightly intrigued. Like an aura that drew him to her.

When Irene stopped talking, another took the word, reporting on their studies in their area. Although his mother had founded the circle, he quickly learned she wasn’t the head sorcerer of the West, and not for North, either. He guessed that she, Irene, and the elf Ayda, that had formed the circle originally, had other responsibilities than to report of the studies of their respective living quarters.

But no one said anything of interest, for him. He listened here and there, but he couldn’t help but to stare at the girl with the completely black eyes. Fae didn’t seem to notice him, but it was hard to tell.

,,And now.’’ Irene’s voice cut through his cascade of thoughts, as she vividly gestured in his and his mother’s direction. ,,We have a guest. A newcomer. A friend amongst our midst we haven’t yet been introduced to. Our beloved Willa have her dear _nephew_ with her this time, and I can only _hope_ you’ll all take good care of him while he’s here,’’ she said grandiosely. 

It felt rather good when all the attention fell on him, he thought, as he humbly nodded around to greet people. He deducted that the elders respected him due to his _aunt_ , and the younglings was interested enough to at least _see_ a new face around here. It seemed like his mother had been the only one without offspring or apprentice, up until now.

Seymore had always said that Nite would find someone _better_ , someone more _suitable_ for himself, out there. And this place was _filled_ to the brim with young and talented people, the perfect place for him to _get over_ the troll, if anything. Even though fewer, there were also two young men, an elvish boy he figured to be Ayda’s son, and a young man, probably in his twenties, that undoubtingly were part merfolk, even if he lacked the tail.

But neither the young men nor the fair ladies seemed to catch his interest. He tried to rationalize, that he hadn’t been into Seymore just by _looking_ at him, but he was all too aware that Seymore had been more forgiving in the process of getting to know him, than these new people probably would, and he couldn’t deny the simple fact, that he had felt _some_ tingles when he looked at the troll, even before he was anything he could even consider his _friend_.

He had been truthful when he had told the troll, that he didn’t want a replacement. He had never been _interested_ in getting a lover, he didn’t feel the _need_ for a romantic companion… But something had sparked in him, as he grew closer to Seymore. It wasn’t his particular looks or his gentle nature that had sparked his interest, it was the simple fact of how hard he _tried_ to get to know him, _tried_ to comfort him. Because in the end, no matter how old Seymore was or what he had experienced through his life, he was still just as insecure as Nite tried to hide he himself was.

He didn’t find Fae interesting in the same way he had been fascinated with the troll. He liked Seymore in many different aspects, but regardless of how he put it, he was still very _attracted_ to the troll; the way he looked, his big body frame and the gentleness of his movements. There was something different about Fae, despite their completely different bodies. Like her aura just loomed uncertainty and _death_.

Strangely, he didn’t find that off-putting. He didn’t find it particular arousing _either_ , but he wondered if he just picked up something that wasn’t there, or if she was as intimidating as he felt her to be. For some reason, he felt a need to find out for himself, which were the case.

As soon as the meeting was over, he tried to slip away from his mother, but she kept asking him to come back, clearly picking up on him being fascinated with Irene’s daughter.

,,Remind me again _why_ I’m not allowed to socialize, when we’re _here_ because _you said_ I needed to socialize, _dear auntie?_ ’’ he whispered dryly. She was about to tell him off, when Irene came up behind them, her long, cold hands placed on his shoulders, her painted fingertips slightly digging into them.

,,Willa, my dear, let the boy go off and _play_. He doesn’t need his _aunt_ down his back, all the time, now, does he?’’ she smiled. Even if her words were kind, her tone still sent chills down his spine.

,,… Very well,’’ she said, gesturing him to leave the women be, and as soon Irene let go of his shoulders, he almost ran away from the place they had been.

The other younglings didn’t seem as overly enthusiastic as their elders. While he _indeed_ got many looks, no one approached him. They mostly kept to, what he assumed, was the cliques they had formed through the years. Some of them were probably _born_ into the circle, trained to enter it when they were deemed ready, or maybe even taking a spot from their elder when time seemed fit.

A thought crossed him, that this was _why_ he was hidden. His mother had wanted a _daughter_ , maybe to free her from the circle? While it didn’t make her actions much more humane, it seemed _too simple_ to be _just that_ , but he simply couldn’t _buy_ her explanation of ‘some evil, powerful force’, that wanted to take _him_ and corrupt him. If anything, whatever force that had wanted that, had succeeded, despite his isolation, because he already felt like he had corrupted himself.

By having little to no social skills, much less knowledge about social hierarchy, he found himself wandering up to the black eyed Fae, as she silently whispered with what he assumed where two of her friends; the boy who possessed merfolk genes, and a girl that looked younger than himself, most likely a phantom, but he didn’t pay much attention to the confused, dismissive looks they sent him.

,,Hello,’’ he said, looking directly at the golden haired girl in front of him.

,,Hello?’’ Fae said, her delicate features moving slightly in disgust. Then she looked up, and Nite got to catch a glimpse of her meeting eyes with her mother. Her demeaner changed in an instant, before she with the faintest of smiles began to speak again: ,,You’re the new kid, right? Nite, if I’m not mistaking?’’ He nodded and noticed her now very chipper tone, wondering what that look had _actually_ meant. ,,I’m Fae. I’m Irene’s daughter and next in line to be protector of our meeting spot. Although that’ll probably not happen soon,’’ she smiled, gesturing to her friends. ,,This is Alki, he’s mostly here because of Laurelai over there,’’ she teased, pointing at a fairy girl in the other end of the room. ,,And this is Tia, the next guardian of the West,’’ she told.

,,Nice,’’ he said casually, not paying much attention to what he was being told. ,,Can I talk to you, just for a moment?’’ he said, gesturing away from her goons. It seemed to surprise Fae and her friends that he so carelessly would ask her something like that, not even considering how she would perceive it, as if no one _dared_ to speak to Fae _directly_. But Nite was educated enough to know that you couldn’t downright _ask_ about evil auras in front of others. He didn’t care much about how she herself would react to the question, but he didn’t want her reaction to be seen across the whole room, alerting his mother.

,,I mean, we’re talking _now_ , aren’t we?’’ she said playfully, just as overly welcoming as her mother.

,,Privately,’’ he added, looking right at her. ,,Although I don’t know if there’s any place more _private_ , in here,’’ he mumbled to himself. He guessed he had said it in that weird, soft voice, Seymore had mentioned for him, because all three looked kind of mystified at him, even though it wasn’t the _strangest_ thing he had ever slipped, saying out loud.

,,Private, you say? What for? I mean, we’re _all_ friends here, we share _everything_ , don’t we?’’ she said, gesturing around her. Her motions seemed stiff, and it was only now that he noted it, as he hadn’t seen her fingers clearly before; they bended in a way like a doll would.

,,I’m not part of this or any other circle,’’ he said, looking intensely as her fingers moved. ,,I don’t need to be _one_ , with everyone. If you want to gossip afterwards, be my guest,’’ he said. She noted that he looked at her fingers, quickly retrieving them into her long sleeves, of the puffy, overly frilly dress. Now that he thought about it, she also _looked_ like a beautifully painted, well dressed doll.

,,You don’t want to be a part of this? What a shame. I’m _sure_ there’s lots of young ladies here that will be upset about that,’’ she said. He wasn’t sure if she mocked him, but he didn’t feel she was as friendly _now_ as before. ,,Could _that_ be why you want to speak to me _alone_ , Nite?’’ she smiled. Her teeth were as white pearls, but none of them were pointy.

,,Never mind,’’ he said, rolling his eyes and leaving the trio, apparently surprising them. They yelled something after him, but he didn’t turn around. Whatever _evil aura_ he had felt about her, was wrong. She was simply just _annoying_.

And _if_ she somehow had an evil aura, then, _why_ would he try to pry for that information? Surely, she wouldn’t want to tell a complete _stranger_ about that, would she? Maybe he still longed for the book his mother had taken away from him, or a source that could replace it. Maybe he still had the urge to be powerful, to _change_ the world, to make space for someone like Seymore, that felt so out of place everywhere he went… Like himself…

While Aenamo wasn’t separating species, and while they were still much better off than Vaihines, magic seemed to have the downside of creating rather weird offspring. Hybrids where possible in Aenamo, actually quite common too, but sometimes, full-blooded species would get abnormal children. Like Seymore. And when such children grew up in societies mostly containing that species alone, the difference would be more noticeable, than had it been a hybrid in a mixed society.

The biggest cities across the realms of Aenamo were all mixed, as it should be, in Nite’s opinion, but many places throughout the realms would be single species societies. This was most common in the West and the East, as North ruled as one kingdom, and South were almost as progressively inclusive as the Center Isles. The only reason he could think of why the Center Isles had been homophobic towards Seymore, _specifically,_ were because of jealousy of him bedding a pixie. And as the troll hadn’t mentioned anyone having a problem with the pixie having a male partner, that seemed reasonable enough for him.

He still wanted to _change_ all that, and while magic could do many things, he _knew_ it wouldn’t be enough to _change a whole world._ Maybe Nite wasn’t reflective enough about _what_ it would mean to change the whole world, or how much work it would be to _conquer_ the world to begin with, but he _knew_ that if he wanted to do that in his short lifespan, he would _need_ to use something more _forceful_ , like black magic. And maybe, _just maybe_ , this _Fae_ had some insight on _how_ he could get _that book_ back. He just had this _feeling_ that she and her mother wasn’t as far from his own mother and her deceptiveness as they wanted to seem.

Without disturbing his mother or gaining too much attention on himself, he slipped outside the cave. The walk was as tedious as last time, but he needed some fresh air. They had only arrived a couple of hours ago, and he was already _tired_ of it.

But as he sat down at the cliffside, looking down at the land beneath him and taking in all the wonders of its beauty, he couldn’t help but to think of Seymore again, and how he _much_ rather would have snuck away from the castle back then, the troll by his side, as they searched across the realms for a place to call _their_ home. The thought alone about sitting here, looking at waterfalls and tight forests, fields of flowers and the endless, blue sky above, with the troll’s hand in his, made him teary eyed. If this _wasn’t_ love, then what _was_ , he thought as he wiped his eyes.

,,Are you _crying?_ ’’ a voice sounded behind him, startling him so he almost fell down the cliffside. ,,Oh, watch out, little fella, you could hurt yourself!’’ Fae said, walking closer, a little slower and more cautious.

,,You _startled_ me!’’ he sneered, trying to steady his heart. ,,And _no_ , I’m not _crying_ , I just _thought_ about something,’’ he mumbled, looking down the cliffside again.

,,About what?’’ she asked, sitting down beside him. When she was this close, she really _did_ look like a living doll, he thought.

,,About… a friend of mine…’’ he said. ,,And how he would have _loved_ to see this.’’

,,One from the Mainland?’’ she asked curiously. He nodded, reminding himself that in this scenario, he was from the land below. ,,Why didn’t he come with you?’’ she asked.

,,He couldn’t,’’ he said. ,,He didn’t want to.’’ She didn’t ask further into it for a while, and Nite didn’t pay her any attention. Thoughts about the circle and black magic, even about that damned book, seemed to fade at the memory of Seymore.

,,What did you want to ask me about?’’ she finally asked. She seemed impatient, like she wasn’t used to waiting like this. And she probably wasn’t. Just by her looks and charisma, his guess was that she was very popular and probably rarely needed to fight for attention.

,,What kind of species are you?’’ he asked, finally looking at her. He didn’t think much about it, before he suddenly grabbed her hand, studying her joints. She was so stunned she didn’t even pull away. ,,You look like some sort of _doll_ , but I don’t know of any ‘living doll’ species,’’ he said, wondering.

,,Rude,’’ she said, retrieving her hand. Although she acted upset, her smile was still playful and sort of kind. ,,I’m not _born_ like this, silly!’’ she told him, looking down the cliffside. ,,When I was younger, there were an accident. My mother couldn’t save me, unless she combined me with a doll. Mind you, it wasn’t a _regular_ doll, it was my most prized possession, enchanted by myself, so I don’t really mind being connected with her, for all eternity,’’ she said slowly. She _seemed_ confident in her words, but even Nite could feel her sadness.

,,Why didn’t she turn you? She’s a vampire, is she not?’’ he asked, as she looked back at him. Her black, pupil-less eyes looked into his soul, as if she read directly through him. When she smiled, he felt stripped for all secrets he had ever had.

,,You’re _right._ How very observant, you are,’’ she said mischievously. ,,She _is_ a vampire, but she isn’t born as such, so she can’t turn anyone,’’ she sighed. ,,She was very sad, for a long time, that she had done this to me. But it’s not so bad, being a doll. People tend to like dolls, don’t they?’’ she smiled sadly. Every time she smiled, her face looked like it _barely_ moved, but it was still very apparent that it was supposed to be a smile. ,,Now it’s your turn. Tell me about the Mainland,’’ she said excitedly. Her demeaner was _nothing_ like when they had been in the cave around the others, and it made him wary.

,,… There’s not much to say,’’ he said avoidantly. ,,I never saw much of the land, anyway. I was born to a mother, who kept me from the outside world, for reasons unbeknownst to me. The only friend I ever had, worked for her, and I’ve now left him behind. Life with my aunt isn’t that different, despite I’m being outside, in the wonderful land Aenamo _should_ be, but I don’t see it…’’ he sighed. ,,The world _is_ beautiful, isn’t it? I can’t tell, anymore.’’

,,It is. There’re not many places like this, and it’s not that easy to come by. That’s why we chose it. We tend to move the place from year to year, but I like to look at the forest down there, when I have a little time for myself. I haven’t had this view in other places we’ve been, and trust me, I’ve seen a lot,’’ she chuckled.

They went silent for a while again, just looking at the landscape, dwelling in their own thoughts. Nite already felt tired of talking with her, or maybe it was just all the sensory inputs he got? It could be the travel itself. He couldn’t remember he had felt this tired when he began talking with Seymore, back then, but he _was_ aware that social interaction drained him, even with the troll.

He wondered what Seymore did right now? Would he leave the castle, as soon as they were gone? Or would he still be there when Nite came home? What did it matter, anyway, when they were both too stubborn to even _talk_ with each other?

Besides that, they wanted different things, he reminded himself of. But it didn’t seem so bad now, to _just_ be whatever they were before, if he couldn’t be his lover. He just wanted to be _close_ to him again. He had felt _safe_ and _cared for_ in a way, and even if Seymore could never say it, he _knew_ he loved him. The earrings _weren’t_ wrong, he _refused_ to believe that!

,,Was that _that?_ ’’ she asked, pulling his attention back into reality. When he looked confused, she rolled her eyes, although hard to see. ,,Was _all_ you wanted to ask me, about my _race?_ Why was _that_ so secret?’’ she giggled.

,,No, I wanted to ask if you had a flair for black magic,’’ he shrugged. Her face grew concerned, and her pupil-less eyes zoomed restlessly around in their surroundings.

,,What? Why would you ask _that?_ ’’ she said, moving away a little. ,,You can’t _ask_ people that!’’ she sneered. She hadn’t yet broken her sweet, playful character, but she seemed oddly uncomfortable with the question. Even if it wasn’t something you would usually ask about, he hadn’t expected her to react _like this_.

,,I don’t know,’’ he admitted. ,,There’s something about you, that seems familiar,’’ he shrugged. ,,No one seems to notice it, and maybe it’s just _me_ , reading you wrong,’’ he admitted.

,,It’s so _rude_ to ask people that. Do you have no manners?’’ she scolded him, calming down a little. ,,Now I’m _glad_ you didn’t ask me in there,’’ she admitted.

,,Well, I’m aware enough to know that people rarely seem _thrilled_ for such kind of questions,’’ he admitted. ,,I didn’t mean to upset you. I just wondered if it could be true,’’ he shrugged.

,,Do I _look_ like someone that possessed black magic?’’ she scoffed, making her pretty face seem distorted.

,,I’ve never met anyone with black magic,’’ he said. ,,I don’t know what they would look like. A possessed doll, with a blood-sucking vampire as a mother, is as good of a guess as any,’’ he bit back.

,,That’s _racist_ ,’’ she said, as her face fell in much sadder folds. She was silent again, not in the mood for fighting anymore, it seemed. The words felt weird to hear. He reminded himself, why he wanted the book in the first place, and why he _needed_ to be better than making comments like these.

,,… Yerh, it was, wasn’t it?’’ he mumbled. ,,I shouldn’t judge on something like that. I’ll do better,’’ he said, looking at her again. She seemed surprised by his reaction, but she still didn’t say anything. ,,Thank you for telling me,’’ he said, as he began to stand up. He was already on his way back to the cave, when he heard her voice behind him.

,, _Wait!_ ’’ she said, standing up herself. She was much taller than him, looking down at him with this weird, wondering look in her black eyes. ,,You’re a weird fella, aren’t you?’’ she chuckled. He shrugged and nodded.

,,I guess I am.’’ When she smiled, he felt uncomfortable. Not because such a beautiful creature _graced_ him with her attention, but because he could _feel_ in his bones that she wasn’t honest.

,,Why are you interested in black magic, anyway?’’ she asked, trying to get him to sit down again, but he kept standing up. ,,Are you… a black magic user _yourself?_ You _said_ you looked for something _familiar_ ,’’ she noted.

,,I can’t use black magic,’’ he said bluntly. ,,But I don’t know any source of magic, that could help me with my goals, besides black magic,’’ he shrugged. He knew that everything he would tell her, she would bring further, but not if she had black magic herself. Judging by her reaction, she felt somewhat shameful that he had looked through her like that, and if it was true, she wouldn’t want her precious underlings to know. Not unless they had black magic themselves. He took a gamble with being this honest with her, hopefully to gain the information he needed.

,,Your goals? What _kind_ of goals do you need _black magic_ for?’’ she asked, almost confused. He sighed and sat down beside her again. _He_ felt no shame in telling her, and he had a slight hope, that _if_ she possessed the forbidden form of magic, she could help him retrieve his book.

,,I want to change the world,’’ he simply told. ,,That’s why I need to be _better_ , than making racist comments. This world should be a _utopia,_ and it’s _not_. And I _will_ change that!’’ he said seriously, looking at her intensely. ,,I don’t care about what kind of magic that can help me achieve that goal. Black magic is forbidden because it’s _powerful_ , not _necessarily_ evil.’’

,,That you even have to be precise, that it _can_ be evil, makes you a fool,’’ she said bluntly. ,,You don’t _gain_ such powerful magic for no reason or by accident. You sell a piece of your _soul_. You’re the _perfect_ candidate because you feel like you have some higher, grandiose goal than _everyone_ else around you,’’ she scoffed. ,,The magic would eat you up, before you could even _reform_ Aenamo in any notable way. You would end up being a _dictator_ , if anything.’’

,,Why do _you_ care?’’ he snapped. ,,If it takes being a _dictator_ to root out racism and… other bigotry in this world, isn’t that justified?’’ he said slowly, avoiding the word homophobia, but he could tell that she had an idea of what he was going for, as if she suddenly looked at him in another light.

,,… Well, maybe you’re right…’’ she said, looking out at the wilderness beneath them. ,,But do you _really_ believe black magic is the answer? Do you _really_ think you can handle that?’’ she asked, almost concerned.

,, _Yes_ ,’’ he said stubbornly. ,,No _demon_ will get the better of me.’’

,,Then your magic will probably not be as strong as you think,’’ she shrugged.

,,What do you mean?’’ he asked slowly.

,,I mean, you give your soul to a demon, they grant you powers. The more you give, the more powerful you’ll become, the more control they have over you,’’ she explained. ,,It’s not _easy_ to gain this power, in the first place.’’ He looked at her again, smiling smugly.

,,Oh really? How did you get yours?’’ he asked challenging. She was about to scold him again, but then she just sighed frustrated.

,,I was _tired_ of being a perfect, pretty, little doll,’’ she told him, surprising him that she _actually_ would tell him this. ,,I’ve been a doll for almost _100_ years! And I don’t mind _being a doll_ , I mind my mother _using me_ as the perfect example for _everything!_ ’’ she said harshly. Her sudden anger was familiar, and he briefly saw a part of himself in her. But not like he had done with Seymore. He saw all the spiteful, brutal and _ugly_ parts of himself in Fae, surprisingly for an otherwise such beautiful creature.

,,Then… why don’t you leave?’’ he interrupted, making her look at him again.

,,Because I’m a _doll_ , you idiot! I _need_ assistance! Sure, I have _magic_ , but I need to recharge by putting on strings, I can’t put on myself. I need to be polished and cared for if I crack. And my magic doesn’t work _like that_. Not even close,’’ she huffed. ,,You really want to know why I have black magic? It’s not to _free Aenamo_ , or anything like that. It’s to free _myself!_ ’’ she said proudly.

,,Then why did you deny that you have that kind of power?’’ he asked, moving to look at her better.

,,Because I don’t know you and you’re _weirding me out!_ ’’ she said. ,,You have no _idea_ how mad my mother got when she found out! I’m not allowed to talk about this, _why_ would I be allowed to talk about this?’’ she said, rolling her eyes.

,,I get it,’’ he said excitedly, ,,because _my_ mother freaked out when she found my book! I found this book that… _whispered_ , to me. _Taunted me!_ I couldn’t for the _life of me_ figure out how to open it, and then my… _aunt_ found it, and took it away,’’ he said, hoping she didn’t notice his slip up. ,,And I _hoped_ that if I found someone _else_ with powers similar, that I could get it back. If she has not destroyed it, that is.’’

,,She can’t,’’ Fae said. ,,Books like that can’t be destroyed. They can be _contained_ , but only if she’s observant about it. Let me guess, it just popped up, out of nowhere, right?’’ she asked.

,, _Yes!_ ’’ he said. ,,It’s been laying around for _years_ , but as I couldn’t open it, I never paid much attention to it. But then it hit me _what it actually was!_ ’’ he smiled, almost forgetting that he _barely_ knew the girl at his side.

,,What kind of mark was it?’’ she asked.

,,A half moon,’’ he answered.

,,I haven’t heard of _that_ before,’’ she said, looking around. When she was sure that they really were all alone, she moved a little closer and held out her wrist, before she pulled her sleeve down. The mark on her arm were golden, mostly resembled an eternity sign, he thought. ,,That’s my mark. It’s best to have it somewhat hidden, but still in a place where it would be easy to use,’’ she told him. ,,Don’t touch it!’’ she hissed, as she retrieved her arm, far away from his grubby hands. ,,It’s still… _fresh_. I haven’t had it for that long, and it _hurts_ ,’’ she scolded.

,,I didn’t know,’’ he said apologetic. He wanted to ask her so many questions, but he barely knew where to start. ,,Do you know how I would get my book back?’’ he settled on.

,,It will find you,’’ she told him. ,,If you _really_ want it, and your aunt at some point loses track of it… it will find you, I _promise_ that. My book also just suddenly appeared in my belongings, one day,’’ she shrugged. ,,But… do you really think it’s worth it, for some stupid, idealistic dream?’’ she scoffed.

,,Yes,’’ he said calmly. ,,It will be.’’

,,Why do you want to change the world so bad, anyway? Because of _stories_ you read about this place?’’ she asked curiously. He didn’t want to tell her about Seymore, but he somewhat expected her to know already. As he didn’t really intend on indulge in his mother’s intentions with his visit to the circle, he didn’t feel he would lose much telling her.

,,I want this world to be more _suitable_ for someone I love,’’ he said, looking up into the endless sky. ,,I mean… _why_ be in Aenamo, if there isn’t enough _space_ for you? If there isn’t enough space for differences? That doesn’t make sense,’’ he said dreamingly.

,,The world will _always_ be filled with good and bad, Nite. You can’t _change_ that,’’ she said softly.

,,I rather be seen as bad, making uproar, being a dictator, than letting this world rot as Vaihines is,’’ he said sternly. She looked at him for a while, before she smiled.

,,… Are there many _gay_ people in Vaihines?’’ she smirked, but she didn’t get any particular reaction from him, seemingly disappointing her.

,,No,’’ he simply said. ,,And not enough here, either. There’s not enough _space_ for every race and every sexuality to just _be_ , even here in Aenamo. That’s going to change,’’ he said calmly.

,,Oh come on, we’re _much_ more inclusive up here,’’ she said, rolling her eyes again.

,,Not inclusive _enough,_ ’’ he sneered.

,,Is that why your friend didn’t come with you?’’ she asked, her voice rather kind again. ,,You’re in love with him, right?’’ she smiled knowingly, when he felt his cheeks heat.

,,Yes I am. And I _know_ he liked me, too, but he’s… very _stubborn_. And so am I,’’ he admitted.

,,The book will be scared if most of your heart is set on another person, and not your goals or the magic it withhold,’’ she told him. ,,That’s probably why you couldn’t open it.’’ He thought about it for a minute, before he looked at her again.

,,So you’re telling me… I have to choose? Between love and magic?’’ he grimaced.

,,… Yes. But when you have the magic, you can do whatever you want. You can’t get _rid_ of black magic, it will _always_ follow you, even just a tad. It will consume you when angry, and follow you as a shadow when not in use. No sort of healing can rid you of it, and no spell will reverse it. But when it’s there… maybe you don’t _want_ the one you loved. Are you ready for that?’’ she challenged him.

Was he ready to give up on Seymore forever, just to gain control over magic, he probably shouldn’t play with? Did he really _want_ to rule the world? And if so, would he want it if it was without Seymore by his side?

,,I can’t imagine a magic, that is strong enough to rid me of my love for him,’’ he said quietly.

,,You’re young, love is a strong word,’’ she shrugged.

,,I don’t think you understand,’’ he said, looking up at the sky again. ,,I would do _anything_ for that man. Even change the _whole goddamn world_. I’ve _never_ wanted to rule over _anything_ before he told me about his heartbreaks. And I _need_ the whole wide world to see him _exactly_ as I do.’’

,,Romantic,’’ she said, rolling her eyes. ,,Is this why you aren’t interested in the girls from the circle? That’s why you’re here, right?’’ she asked.

,,I’m not interested in being _married of_ to some random sorceress,’’ he said sternly. ,,But I don’t really want _anyone_ besides him. It doesn’t matter what their gender is, they’re just not… _him_ ,’’ he said, trying to explain.

,,You’ll have many loves throughout your life. And you’re _young_ , why are you so set on this one?’’ she asked. He thought about it for a while, as he often times had done. Why was _Seymore_ so special? Here he was, with the opportunity to meet someone _much more suitable_ for him, and yet, no one fancied his interest. He wasn’t sure if they would have done so, hadn’t he been with the troll beforehand. What if he wasn’t _capable_ of love?

,,Because, when I’m near him, it doesn’t really matter who _I_ am, or why I’m here, or what we’re going to do. When he is close to me… he feels like the most _soothing_ magic I’ve ever felt,’’ he smiled.

He didn’t know if it made sense, but Fae didn’t ask more into it. She didn’t ask anything else, either, as she finally stepped into the cave again, leaving him alone, a little more confused and lonesome than before, but even more dead-set on getting _his own_ mark, with or without her help.


	15. 15) A growing desire

The outside world was _tiresome_. Staying at the circle was even _more_ tiresome, with ancient rituals that seemed to further his studies near non-existing, and old hags that wanted to know _everything_ about him, to deem him suitable enough for their daughters.

Or their nieces.

Or random girls, they had met once or twice.

As the months passed, it became _laughably_ clear that the _sole_ reason to bring Nite here, was to find him a wife. While his mother had never outright _said that_ , many other elders in the circle didn’t hide the fact, that they tried to set him up with just about any single woman they could find.

Courtship was _tiresome_. Even _meeting_ the girls, getting to know them, was tiresome in itself. At _least_ they seemed to care as little about him as he did them, he thought, as yet another date went down as forgettable at best.

,,What’s _wrong_ with you?’’ his mother said tiredly one night. ,,All these beautiful, smart, skilled young women are at your fingertips, and then you decide to be this _troubling?_ The elders tell me all _sorts_ of things you ask them about. How their tails work or if they have ever manifested something _unnatural._ Why do you _do_ that?’’ she sighed tiredly. ,,I will _not_ allow you to date Fae, if that is your plan!’’

,,Ew, _no_ ,’’ he grimaced. ,,I’m not interested in Fae,’’ he said truthfully.

,,Then what _is_ the matter with you?’’ she sighed. He didn’t think it was the best moment to reveal what was on his mind, and as he spent more time with his mother, he didn’t think such time would ever come.

After his and Seymore’s relation had started, he felt that they both saw his mother in a different light. Seymore was a little more afraid of her now than before, and Nite had a better understanding of _why_ the troll had been so fearful about revealing their relationship. It was blatantly obvious that she indeed _wouldn’t_ have been thrilled, to say the least.

,,I’m just not ready to… get married…’’ he said slowly, trying to focus on the book in his hands, but his eyes didn’t move across the page.

,,Don’t be silly. Everyone else are. Why wouldn’t you be?’’ she said dismissively. This made him shut the book firmly, looking defyingly up at his mother.

,,Yerh, I wonder why, _auntie?_ I’ve lived my _whole_ life as a secret, _finally_ being able to socialize, and you have offered me next to _none_ social skills to _deal_ with this part of the world? I wonder _why_ I’m not lying flat down, awaiting for the _next_ woman to _hide me away_ and _boss me around_ , only pretending to _care_ about me and my interests,’’ he hissed, standing up to walk off.

,, _Nite!_ ’’ she yelled after him, but he didn’t slow down. ,,I just want what’s _best_ for you!’’

,, _No!_ ’’ he yelled back. ,,You want to get _rid_ of me! And be my _fucking guest_ ,’’ he yelled, _surely_ waking up the whole cave in the process, but he didn’t care. He walked out, before his mother had another chance to try to soothe him, or to make it worse, for all he knew.

He had _no interest_ in Fae, but as far as comradery went, she was the closest thing he had to a friend here. Fae _wasn’t_ a friend either, but more like an ally, he thought to himself. He couldn’t downright blame his mother, or Irene, for that matter, if they thought a blooming romance was going on, but nothing was further from the truth.

Fae used him to vent her frustrations with the circle. In return, he got a lot of inside knowledge on this broken _sister society_. He was well aware how a circle was _supposed_ to function, but with the reveal that his mother had withheld almost the entirety of her life, so came the reveal that Irene did the same, and it wouldn’t surprise him the slightest if the other elders did as well. He rarely told Fae of anything about his mother, even if she asked him an awful lot about it, not trusting her with such information.

Irene knew about Fae’s mark, and while she was _far_ from thrilled, as long as the pretty doll kept it hidden, she wouldn’t mention it. Not even for her sisters at the circle. If she had told them anything, his mother would probably not had let him be this close to Fae in the first place. Irene didn’t question _why_ or _how_ Fae had gotten her mark, and while the doll herself didn’t seem curious in her mother’s lack of interest, Nite assumed that Irene’s magic wasn’t _solely_ from the circle itself, either.

He didn’t know if it was the age gap, or just the simple fact that it was Irene’s daughter, but his mother _hated_ when he hang out with Fae. He guessed, in her mind, every moment not spend trying to find himself a wife, was wasted.

He found that just like Seymore, Fae didn’t age the same as humans. If anything, Fae wouldn’t age at _all_. She had been 20 at the time of the accident, and she would probably never grow from there, unless she rid herself from the doll entirely. That was why she had _gained_ the forbidden magic from the start, but to this point, it hadn’t helped her achieve her goal. Ridding herself of the doll could be _fatal_ , especially since she had been connected to it for over 100 years, but if anything could help her, it would be the eternity mark on her forearm.

,,I heard shouting,’’ a soft voice said behind him. He knew it was Fae, just from her footsteps. She always walked very quietly, in a way no one else did around here.

,,Leave me alone,’’ he grunted, but he knew she wouldn’t. She sat down beside him on the cliffside, looking at the dark, looming sky above them.

,,Is your aunt after you again, for not dating the _right_ kind of woman?’’ she teased.

,,I _don’t_ want to talk about it,’’ he groaned, letting himself fall back onto the ground. She laid beside him, quietly, for a while. ,,She’s _so annoying!_ ’’ he finally said.

,,I thought you didn’t want to _talk_ about it,’’ she smirked. He _hated_ how smug she could be. ,,I sometimes wonder, if Alki or Aydan would catch your interest more? I guess it doesn’t really matter, because Alki’s already betrothed, and Aydan is probably _more_ feminine than many of the girls here,’’ she chuckled.

,,That’s not it. It’s not like I’m _oozing_ masculine energy myself,’’ he sighed, already annoyed by her playful teasing. She liked to do this, and he guessed she somehow saw him as her _gay best friend_ , but he didn’t like the notion. ,,My aunt wouldn’t be thrilled _either_ if I ran away with them. Despite that, I can’t _imagine_ they would be into me, either,’’ he groaned, looking at himself.

,,So which of them would you choose?’’ she asked curiously.

,, _None_ ,’’ he said harshly.

,,Oh _come on_ , Nite! You’re no fun!’’ she chuckled. ,,If I _had_ to choose between them, I would choose Alki. I don’t like Aydan has longer hair than I,’’ she admitted.

,,I don’t like either of them,’’ he repeated. She was silent for a while, before she looked over at him.

,,What about the girls, then? If you _had_ to choose,’’ she smirked. He groaned and rolled onto his side, away from her, dirtying his clothes, which would _undeniably_ annoy his mother. ,,It’s _okay_ if you say it’s me. I don’t mind,’’ she teased.

,,I don’t like you. I _tolerate_ you,’’ he bit back, making her chuckle again.

,,I think that’s why I keep hanging out with you. No one really talks down to me, like that. You don’t really act like I’m anything special, which I _am_ , by the way,’’ she smirked.

,, _Sure_ you are,’’ he scoffed, rolling onto his back again. ,,What about _you?_ Which _girl_ would you choose?’’ he said challenging.

,,Well, I’m not into girls,’’ she shrugged. ,,Can _I_ choose _you?_ ’’ she said playfully.

,,I’m not a _girl_ ,’’ he scolded her. ,,Honestly, you always act so _weird_ around me,’’ he mumbled, closing his eyes.

,,I’ve never met anyone _quiet_ like you,’’ she said giggly. ,,And honestly, I find this _way_ too fun to just leave you be. Wouldn’t you have chosen me, if you had to? I’m sure your aunt would be less upset about this, than with your _boyfriend_ , down there.’’

,,I’m not so sure about that,’’ he admitted. ,,Are you _proposing_ to me?’’ he then asked, looking slightly over at the blond girl.

,, _No_ , not the slightest,’’ she giggled. ,,But if I _had_ to get married to someone within the circle, I think we would make a good _team_ , at least. Think of the _chaos_ we could spread, across the realms!’’ she said excitedly.

,,I don’t want _chaos_ ,’’ he sighed. ,,I want _revolution_.’’

,,That’s the same,’’ she said dismissively. ,,You know you need to relax a little around all the _moral_ you’ve got going there, if you’ll _ever_ have your dark mark,’’ she said sternly.

,,It’s funny,’’ he said quietly, ,,all my life, my mother told me I had _no_ morals, and now I have _too much_. Life really is strange…’’ he said, looking up at the sky.

,,Have you ever told anyone about your plans? Did your mother even _know?_ ’’ she asked.

,,No… And neither does my aunt. I’ve… sparingly told _him_ about it, a little, but… Not that much… And I’ve not talked that much with him about black magic, either. I knew he wouldn’t like that,’’ he said slowly.

,,Well, not many people _would_ accept that,’’ she shrugged. ,,… You never talk much about him,’’ she noted. ,,What kind of person was it, that fascinates you this much?’’ she asked quietly.

,,… He is very kind. Despite how much heartbreak he has had, I do believe he wanted the best for me… Although he didn’t always show it…’’ he sighed.

,, _Boring_ ,’’ she smiled. ,, _Come on_ , Nite. What species was he? Was he _hot?_ Did you ever kiss?’’ she asked chipperly, annoying the small man even more.

,,You’re so _mean_ ,’’ he complained. ,,… I think he was absolutely _beautiful_ ,’’ he finally said, closing his eyes to remember Seymore’s gentle features. ,,And we’ve kissed. Just about everywhere, when my mother wasn’t home. I think I miss _that_ the most,’’ he said, feeling his heart clench and his stomach hurt, at the mere _thought_ about the troll’s warm embrace.

,,Ooh, I didn’t think you’ve kissed,’’ she said, still in a light tone, but he could somehow feel the underlining disappointment. ,,What species? Something we don’t have up here?’’ she asked.

,,… He’s a troll. Tall for Vaihines standards,’’ he said slowly. ,,A misfit in his village.’’ She didn’t answer at first, but seemed utterly confused at the statement. Troll’s weren’t known to be beautiful, either in Aenamo or Vaihines, and he knew that. But Seymore _were_ beautiful, to him, at least. And he couldn’t _imagine_ that some people hadn’t _at least_ found him attractive when he were younger, even if the Center Isles had much different standards than the ones in the West. Seymore was so different from what trolls found attractive, that he back then had tried to morph into something that would be considered attractive for other standards, kind of ending in a middle ground.

,,I guess I understand now why you’re not really into anyone _here_ , then,’’ she shrugged. ,,Does Vaihines see _beauty_ differently?’’ she asked softly, almost hopeful.

,,No,’’ he said, not knowing if this was correct or not. ,,But I do.’’ He could feel her eyes on him, but he kept staring up at the black, endless sky. There were so few stars up here. That was one of the few privileges that Vaihines had, he thought to himself.

,,You do know you have to give him up, so there’s space in your heart for whatever kind of demon that uses the half moon, right?’’ she asked quietly. When he didn’t respond, she sighed. ,,You’re a weird, little fella, Nite Greenlight. I’m offering you the _easiest_ way to complete your goal. Think of it, two with black magic can go further than one!’’ she said dreamingly.

,,I don’t want to work with you,’’ he simply said.

,,You will, at some point,’’ she smiled cocky. ,,When I get an opportunity… You’ll see… I’ll _flee_ this circle and _Fae_ will be gone. Maybe I’ll create my _own_ circle, full of these misfits that took the route of black magic?’’ she wondered to herself.

,,I don’t want to join a circle. Not this, not any,’’ he said sternly.

,,You’re such a loner,’’ she sighed.

,,I’m _not_ , I just… I want to do this, _myself_. Our _ideals_ are _far_ from compatible. I want _peace_ , you want _havoc_ ,’’ he said, sitting up again. His clothes felt dirty and itchy, and he missed his grey sweater. ,,All my life… I _trained_ to, what I believed, was taking over my mother’s studies. And now I realize… I was never to _do that_. She never _intended me_ to do that. She wanted to throw me _away_ , to _here_ ,’’ he said, feeling his anger blossom. ,,And now I’m being _married off_ as soon as I can! This is _my_ purpose! You cannot take that from me!’’ he said, his voice louder than he intended.

,,Relax, Nite, calm down!’’ she said, trying not to cause a scene so the elders would get out of the cave for them. ,,Okay, okay! Have it your way! I understand, I _just_ want to help,’’ she tried.

,,But _why_ do you want that?’’ he asked, warningly calmly. ,,What _is it_ you and your mother is after?’’ he asked, startling the girl behind him. But Fae didn’t hesitate to tell him, as he had expected. She had loyalty to _none_.

,,You’ve said it yourself,’’ she said quietly. ,,The circle is _broken_. They keep it up, but it’s only skin deep. My mother… she wants to know why Willa’s magic is so much stronger than hers, because it’s _definitely_ not coming from the circle alone,’’ she told him. ,,I was to befriend you, to find out, if I could. But I don’t _care_ about that. I have _fun_ with this,’’ she smiled, still staring up at the sky.

,,You see me as a toy,’’ he scoffed, making her laugh. It was a weird sound. Like someone so beautiful and delicate shouldn’t be able to make that kind of sound, so full of energy and power.

,,I _do_ ,’’ she chuckled. ,,It _fascinates_ me that you don’t really care about _status_ or anything all the other younglings care about. I’m a powerful friend to have, but you speak to me as I bore you,’’ she said.

,,You do,’’ he said.

,,But not as much as the others,’’ she said, finally sitting up herself. Neither her hair nor her clothes were dirtied by laying down on the ground.

,,You’re right,’’ he smiled. He felt her hands on his shoulder, as she sat closer to him. She was cold, but that wasn’t why her hands didn’t feel pleasant. He just simply… felt nothing.

He had wondered for a while, at night while he was drifting off to sleep, why it all felt so magical and _magnetic_ with Seymore. Regardless of how open his mind was when he went into his dates with other younglings, he _never_ felt the same spark, as he had done even that very night Seymore moved into the basement chamber, gently placing his hand on his shoulder, mindlessly thanking and trusting him.

But he felt nothing with Fae. He rarely questioned if he was into girls or not, but maybe this was _just_ one case. Maybe he just _wasn’t_ attracted to girls? But he didn’t feel anything with the other young men, either.

He felt… broken…

,,Have you ever kissed a girl?’’ she asked suddenly. He shook his head, but didn’t look at her. ,,Don’t you want to?’’ she teased.

,,No,’’ he simply said.

,,So you _are_ gay!’’ she insisted, as some sort of triumph.

,,I am _not!_ Stop _pretending_ that the whole world _has_ to be attracted to you,’’ he sneered.

,,I wouldn’t be able to sit like this with Alki, without him _at least_ doubting his betrothing. Not even Aydan, I think,’’ she said, placing herself behind him, her hands around his shoulders and her knees at his hips. He could feel her breasts press against his back. ,,Aren’t _this_ fascinating, too?’’ she whispered into his ear.

,,… Yes and no,’’ he admitted, not moving much. ,,I don’t… like that you touch me. I know it’s _you_. Not because you’re a woman, but because I know the coldness of your hands or the perfume you wear,’’ he explained. ,,Does it still excite me? Yes, in some kind of way, no _reason_ to deny that. But that doesn’t really _change_ anything. I haven’t been… _intimate_ with my… _friend_ , for well over a year now. _Off course_ my body misses that. But this isn’t like that. It doesn’t feel _safe_ , like it did with him,’’ he said quietly.

,,Wait, did you _sleep_ with him?’’ she chuckled nervously. ,,I thought… I didn’t _know_ that you…’’ she tried.

,,Why does it _matter_ anyway?’’ he said, rolling his eyes.

,, _It doesn’t_ , but… I don’t know… It _surprised_ me. I mean, most around your age have _had_ some experience, but… You didn’t really strike me as that _bold_ ,’’ she tried, still sitting so close to him. It annoyed him.

,,There’s nothing _bold_ about it. It was nice and _beneficial_ , for both. I learned a lot. And… I can only _hope_ that it got his mind off all his other troubles, at least for a while,’’ he said quietly. Her hands crept around him, hugging him from behind, making him squirm by surprise. She chuckled, but didn’t release her grip in him.

,,Let me guess, then: You were the girl in that relationship?’’ she giggled.

,, _That’s not how it works!_ ’’ he sneered. ,,There’s no _girl_ in such context!’’

,,No, no, I _know_ that, but I just _can’t_ imagine you… being the _dominant_ person in this context with a _troll_ ,’’ she said, trying to steady her laughter. ,,Troll’s are _big_. You like _big_ things, don’t you?’’ she said, the giggle still in the back of her throat.

,, _Shut up!_ ’’ he yelled, forcing himself out of her grip and standing up too hastily, almost tripping over his own feet. ,,It’s not _funny!_ You act like someone who have _never_ even _cared_ for anyone!’’ he spat out, walking away from her.

,,Hey!’’ she yelled after him, following as soon as she got on her feet. ,,I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you mad,’’ she tried, easily catching up to him, even in her overly frilly dress. ,,But you’re right… I rarely care about anyone… I didn’t do that before I got my mark, either, but… Nowadays, it’s even rarer,’’ she said quietly. He finally stopped, but didn’t turn around to look at her. ,,I’m jealous and concerned,’’ she said.

,,What for?’’ he asked, crossing his arms. The air suddenly felt chilly out here, which it normally didn’t.

,,… I’m concerned because… in some way, I really want you to succeed your goal. Maybe I just _like_ the thought about _just some kid_ , with powers _no one else_ understands, finally taking a stand and _doing_ something with all of this. Maybe I just hope you’ll distract everyone, so I can make my own sort of revolution, who knows? But I’m concerned you’ll never get there, because you’re so _fixated_ on someone, who in the end didn’t even come _with you_ ,’’ she said. ,,And I’m… I’m jealous that you _have_ someone like that… It’s not like I never _liked_ anyone, before, but… No one would _care_ about me if I wasn’t a little, pretty, smart doll,’’ she said, her voice almost quivering.

,,The only reason I want _anything_ to change, is because of him. If I lose track of that… then, I _have_ no goals… I _have_ no morals, I’m _empty_ inside… I have no _purpose_ without him…’’ he said quietly, still not turning around. ,,Why would you want _that?_ Love is _awful!_ It’s more _consuming_ than _any_ demon could _ever_ be!’’ he shouted, finally moving to look at the pale girl again.

,,But isn’t it _nice_ to have someone to hold you and tell you everything will be alright? Someone you _trust_ and that doesn’t require you to be _anyone_ besides… yourself…?’’ she asked slowly. She almost looked _hopeful_ , as if she wanted to feel like that herself again at some point.

He remembered the first time he had ever felt, that being _Nite_ was _enough_. Seymore didn’t _need_ him to be strong or smart, he didn’t even need him to be kind and gracious. He didn’t need anything. Even in the beginning, where Nite would rarely answer him when they talked, and he would walk of when he became tired of their conversation, Seymore didn’t treat him differently. The only reasons he ever avoided Nite, was because he was afraid to hurt him when he got too excited, and rarely because he himself made him upset.

Fae was right. He wanted that back more than _anything_ else. Even _more_ than that book, but he simply wasn’t strong enough to admit that… It would be way _easier_ to get the book back, it felt like, than trying to pursue the troll, risking to break his heart again.

He didn’t answer her, as she waited for any sort of reaction. He just began to walk back to the cave, past her and past the entrance, listening closely to her footsteps behind him, the only sound the cave produced as they walked further inside.

,,I don’t _get_ you. Isn’t that _why_ people are together?’’ she asked behind him.

,,I don’t know,’’ he said coldly. ,,I don’t know anything about love. I don’t want love, I don’t _need_ it. I just want _him_ ,’’ he said, walking faster by the minute. ,,And I’ll _get_ him, I’m _tired_ of playing around like this!’’

Fae kept trying to catch up to him, kept trying to talk with him, but Nite was too furious all of a sudden to hear what she said. When they went into the cave, they surely woke up a lot of people, but he didn’t care about that either. He went into his and his mother’s area, waking her up while he threw his stuff together in his bag.

,,What are you doing?’’ she asked tiredly, still half asleep.

,,I’m going _home_ ,’’ he said, not looking at her when she got up, and not stopping when she tried to grip his arm.

,,Don’t be _foolish_. You have _no idea_ where home even _is,_ ’’ she said, rolling her eyes, but he didn’t slow down.

,,Then give me the coordinates,’’ he said, shutting the bag tightly.

,,Nite, slow down. You’re _not_ leaving this place. I have to be here for close to _a year_ , I can’t go with you, and I’ll not allow you to go off by yourself,’’ she said sternly.

,, _Give me the coordinates_ ,’’ he sneered again, finally looking up at her. ,,Or, I can just _go_. I can go, and you can be _free_ of me, as you want to!’’ he said, feeling his heart race.

,,That’s _not_ what I want! I want you to be _safe!_ Nothing would be _safer_ for you than to be within the circle,’’ she argued loudly. This was undoubtedly heard throughout the cave, but he didn’t care.

,,I want to go _home_ , and either you give me the coordinates or I’ll find them _myself!_ ’’ he hissed. She was about to yell at him again, when she noticed the gathering of her sister’s, making sure they were alright. This seemed to calm her, just a tad. ,,I don’t _belong_ here. Let me _go_. I’ll be back another time, I _promise_ to do better another time, but I’m not _ready_. I’ve studied _my whole life_ for something that wasn’t _this_ ,’’ he said, his voice shaking slightly. For the first time ever, it seemed to resonate with something deep within his mother, and she finally nodded.

,,… Very well,’’ she said, manifesting a pen and paper out of thin air. ,,I’ll make Seymore know that you’re on your way. He’ll contact me if you’re not home by three days. Don’t waste your time, go straight home. These are your directions,’’ she said, handing him the paper. ,,I won’t be back for some time, Nite. Continue to study at home,’’ she nodded, as he finally left the room they were in, maneuvering between all the gathered people.

He didn’t answer anyone’s questions, he just left, walking the long way to the cave entrance yet again. The air felt colder, this time. It was later, and he didn’t know how cold it would get, but this would be better for him, surely. His steps were shaky, and the adrenalin pumped through him, his heartbeat drowning out all other thoughts he had. He was alone. He was _free!_

,,Wait!’’ he heard behind him. He stopped, but he didn’t need to look to know it was Fae again.

,, _What?_ ’’ he sneered, tightening his grip in his bag.

,,… Seymore is a _troll_ name, isn’t it?’’ she asked, startling him shortly.

,,Not a very common one…’’ he tried. ,,And so what? Many people have servants, some of them are probably trolls,’’ he argued.

,,… You’re lying,’’ she simply said. ,,You said your lover were at your _home_. The place you were _born!_ ’’ she said, her voice confused and shallow.

,,He’s _not_ my lover,’’ Nite argued.

,,That’s not _the point_ here!’’ she screamed. ,,What kind of _fiendish things_ are your aunt doing? You’re _not_ who you say you are, are you?’’ she asked, a little less erratic this time.

,,Why do you care?’’ he asked. ,,Is it to please your mother with information? Or do you just need the latest gossip?’’

,,Neither,’’ she admitted.

,,Then _what?_ ’’ he asked, turning around to look at her again. This Fae contrasted so much with the one, from when he had first met her. Her hair was unkempt and wild, and her make-up was _running_. Why did she cry? It startled him to see the big, black orbs in so much pain and confusion.

,,I don’t know,’’ she admitted. ,,You make me feel _better_. Like you understand _me_. You don’t care about _anything_ I’ve been trained for, not how pretty I am, or how well I do. You don’t even care if I’m _nice_ to you… normally…’’ she said slowly, echoing words he had thought himself, when he began talking with Seymore.

,,Don’t get all sappy with me,’’ he said, a little harder than he meant. ,,I want to go _home_. I want to _fix_ things with my… my _friend…_ ’’ he said again.

,, _Don’t_ ,’’ she pleaded. ,,Stay _here_. Go through with your goals. I can _help_ you get another book on black magic,’’ she tried, her hands shaking as she held them out, as if she tried not to reach out at all.

,,I don’t want another book,’’ he said coldly. ,,I want _that_ book.’’

,,Then stay because of _me_. Don’t fool me, you don’t _hate_ me. We would be _so good_ in redesigning the world. We could do _anything_ ,’’ she said instead.

,,… Why do you care, Fae? Don’t tell me you’ve _fallen_ for me, that’s _absurd_. I’m not _stupid_. I _know_ how I look, I _know_ I’m not the bachelor you would choose,’’ he scoffed. Everything about her movements were so _wrong_ , so _off_ from the Fae he knew…

,,I would say the same thing, before I met you,’’ she said. ,,And no… I don’t think I _love_ you, but I _hate_ the thought of you… being with _him_ , and I… I don’t even know him…’’ she simply said. Nite recognized the feelings, but didn’t budge from his position, not even when Fae got closer. ,,Why do you _have_ to choose love, when it would be so _easy_ for you to achieve all your goals, if you _just_ choose to stay?’’ she asked, standing in front of him again.

,,… Because I’m selfish,’’ he simply said. ,,I don’t _want_ to choose. I want _both_. I don’t want you, Fae. I don’t want the life that is _here_. I don’t _trust you!_ ’’ he sneered, yanking his arm away when she tried to grab him.

,,How can you _resist_ this? What kind of broken boy are you?’’ she yelled back, her voice _nothing_ like he had ever heard from her before.

,,Because your beauty is only _skin-deep_ , and everyone can see through you. You’re empty and hollow on the inside, _just_ like a doll!’’ he growled, regretting the statement the moment he had said it. ,,… I… don’t get it, Fae… You get to pick on me, _all the time_ , and be rude and unspeakable about me and my friend, and now you can’t handle that I _leave?_ Nothing makes _sense_ to me. Nothing about this is _easy_.’’

,,… _Fine_ , then _leave_ ,’’ she said, walking backwards. ,,But mark my words, _Nite Greenlight;_ You’ll not be able to get into that book, without giving that _troll_ of yours up,’’ she hissed.

Her ego was hurt, that was clear, even to Nite, but something lingered in her words. He knew it held some truth, and he wondered what part of her humanity she had given up, to gain the mark on her forearm. In the end, that was why he could never fully trust her.

,,What if I _was_ in love with you?’’ she asked, as he began to leave again. ,,Would you _then_ stay?’’

,,No,’’ he said quietly, still walking.

,,Trolls don’t have _any_ magic. What do you even _want_ with him?’’ she cried out.

He didn’t answer. He didn’t know the answer. All his mother and the other elders prepared him for, was how to further himself, his magic, his abilities. Seymore wasn’t like that. He didn’t want anything in particular from Seymore. He wanted _all_ of him.

Her words lingered in him, as he went further away. Why she would agree to this, was unbeknownst to him, but it dawned on him why she seemed so upset and out of character; it wasn’t her pulling the strings. He never understood why Irene was _so_ interested in his mother’s powers, but clearly, it was worth it for her to submit her daughter to this _façade_ of a farewell.

Fae didn’t follow him. Irene clearly couldn’t stretch the strings any longer. For the first time, he was left alone in the whole, wide world. He thought about escaping, but he had no means to provide for himself right now. He just quietly went the route he hoped was the right, until he finally got to the gateway, the transport system powered by magic, easily connecting islands throughout the realms.

Not every gateway would carry you everywhere you wanted, but if an island didn’t have a gateway, it would have a boat, flying across the endless sky to carry you to otherwise unreachable destinations. He had read enough about all of this, and studied his mother quietly on their travel to know how to get home, even fairly easy, even if the travel would take a lot of time.

This gave him time to think. His mother wouldn’t be back for almost _a year_. That was a lot of time, but never enough. Would he have time to crack the code about how to get back the book _and_ manage to get back together with Seymore? Probably not.

He arrived at a doc that would take him further on his travel, looking through his bag to kill some time while he waited. He had _some_ books with him, but he had read them all, by now. Still, it was better to recite studies than to just waste his time, looking at the scenery.

Or so he thought, because as he looked through them, he felt something familiar, something _soothing_. When he retreated his hand to look at the culprit, he wasn’t even surprised to see the book his mother had hidden so long ago.

Why it was here, wasn’t important. _The book would find its owner_ , and his mother had been careless to not take it with her, even if she suspected they would travel together. But the book didn’t come alone. There was a slip of paper with it.

 _‘Till we meet again’_ was written with beautiful, curved letters. They looked like his mother’s writing, but that couldn’t be right. Could it? More likely it was Fae that, for some reason and by whatever means, had gotten the book and passed it further to him, without him ever noticing.

Whatever the case was, he uninterested tapped the front cover, running his long fingers across the half moon, making it sparkle delightfully in the moonlight. He tried, as often before, to open it, expecting it to not budge at all…

… but it did…

As if the pages where glued together, they slowly pulled apart, filling the air with dust and whispers that sounded like dying souls. His hands were quivering as the book finally laid flat open in his lap, filling his heart with excitement and fear, making his eyes watery and irritated. He blinked, furiously trying to focus on the pages, but when he finally did, he saw… _nothing_.

The pages were blank, which probably wouldn’t have surprised him if he wasn’t so emotional to begin with. He looked furiously through the pages, but found _nothing_. At first, he thought it was a fake, but the book kept _whispering_ to him, silently promising him all sorts of things in a language, he couldn’t decipher yet. They seemed alluring, all knowingly, and despite his growing doubt, _genuine._

,,What is this?’’ he mumbled angrily, scrolling through the pages yet again. ,,Give me your _secrets!_ ’’ he demanded, slamming the book shut anew.

But he was _further_ now, he thought, as his anger settled. He was _inside_ the book.

Nite wasn’t stupid, he hid the book at any given chance there was for other people to see it. But as soon as he was alone or on a break, he tried to pry away from bystanders’ gazes, to unlock whatever secrets the book still withheld from him.

He should have asked Fae more about the process, but at the same time, he knew it probably wouldn’t be the same for both of them. Her mark was different from the one on the book-cover, and despite not knowing _every single demon_ , he knew their source for black magic would be different. _How_ different, he couldn’t tell, but maybe different enough that Fae’s experience wouldn’t have helped him, anyway.

,,… What can I do for you?’’ he whispered to the book. He wasn’t far from home, already on Mokar, but as the land was almost barren, he had no trouble just walking with the book out in broad daylight like this. ,,Help _me_ , to help _you_ ,’’ he whispered.

_Tell me… Help me…_

The whispers took form. Maybe they had changed direction, changed language, or maybe he was _possessed_ to understand them, but he stopped suddenly as he realized, just how close he was. This would maybe be his last chance to back off? Was he _sure_ he wouldn’t give up on himself, just to gain a little more power?

_Desire… Your desire… You told me, before…_

,,Yes,’’ he said, his voice trembling. ,,Many times. In many languages,’’ he stammered.

_Tongue… I do not always understand the words you speak… You say one, but it is false… Your desire… Tell me again…_

,,I want to recreate Aenamo,’’ he spoke, as clearly as he could.

 _No… That is the desire you tell yourself, you tell others… Do not tell me… Tell me your_ DESIRE…!

The books pages turned themselves, almost angrily as the whispers weren’t just _that_ anymore. He fell down on the ground, but didn’t _dare_ to throw the mad book away, as he felt his heart beat unbearably.

What was his desire? Was _Seymore_ his desire? Was _ruling_ his desire? While he knew he wasn’t some pure-hearted kid, who wanted to free the world of oppression just because it was the _right_ thing to do, he did _think_ his desires was rather noble…

… Or, the desire he told himself that was the reasoning for gaining this power, at least. His _excuse_ to _why_ playing with black magic was _fine_. He didn’t want to _free_ anything, he wanted to create _order_. He wanted to have _control_. He wanted…

,,… I want _revenge_ ,’’ he whispered, as he realized it himself.

_Yes… Yes! Tell me your desire… Tell me whom dared to cross you, Nite Greenlight, firstborn on Mokar…_

,,My mother,’’ he said, trying not to flinch as the book mentioned his name. ,,I don’t _care_ why she did what she did. She has made my life a living _hell_ , and I’ll have her _pay_ for that!’’ he whispered darkly.

_Good, good… Tell me more, about more, of more…_

,,Fae…’’ he said, a little less angry than before, a little more wary. He felt as if his hatred got sucked into the book, and by all means, that was probably just the case. But he had to remain _focused_. ,,Fae, and the circle, and that living hell that it was,’’ he concluded.

 _More, I need_ MORE _to feed…_

,,… The whole world will pay. I’ll change the world. Not because it’s the _right_ thing to do, but because _I want it._ Because I want _that_ as my destiny,’’ he whispered. ,,And they’ll see… They’ll _all_ see…’’

_Oh, but you forget one in your ‘all’, do you not? I need them…_

He knew the book meant Seymore. The book wanted _all_ of Aenamo, every last person who could have ever harmed him, in any way, for any reason. But in contrast to his mother and Fae, that neither understood him or really wanted to despite what they said, or the world who had failed him without even knowing it themselves, Seymore did everything from a place of concern.

Concern for himself and his safety, but he _knew_ , deep down, if he really thought about it, that Seymore _had_ wanted to protect him, in some sense. While he didn’t agree with how he had done it, he _knew_ Seymore wanted what was best for Nite, something that was _better_ than the troll himself.

,,I want to make him pay _myself_ ,’’ Nite said coldly. ,,He is _mine_. He will _be mine_ , I _deserve_ him,’’ he said, as clearly as he could. The book was silent for a while, for long enough to make Nite wonder if it had lost interest in him, but then it shook violently.

_I see love in your heart…_

,,I don’t want love,’’ he said dismissively. ,,I don’t _need_ love.’’

_Then give him to me… I will make him regret ever doubting you…_

,,… I will make you a deal, demon of the half moon,’’ he said quietly. ,,You can have _me_. You can act through _me_ , _if_ , and only _if_ I get the full control over the troll,’’ he said sternly.

_No good… Mortal hearts are weak… Love is strong…_

,,He doesn’t love me,’’ he said quietly, feeling his heart sink at the words. ,,Don’t fear him. Fear _me_. I will be fierce, I will use your power _wisely_. The souls that fall will be _yours_ , and the world created will be _mine_ ,’’ he insisted.

 _If I lend my power to a mortal, I will not share its focus with a_ troll _…_

,,Maybe,’’ Nite said, visibly irritated by now, ,,you’re just too _weak_ to fight love!’’ he shouted, throwing the book away, regretting it instantly. He clumsily picked it up again, the paper muddy by the soil, and the whispers gone. ,, _Dammit!_ ’’ he yelled frustrated, closing the book again.

_… I am a demon of desire… Do you think love scares me, you are wrong…_

The book was still closed in his hands, but he could _feel_ it talk, as if it was in his limbs themselves. He felt a slight chill, as the half moon glowed on the cover, first in a soft, purple glow, and then in a much deeper, richer purple, pulsating through the mark on the cover.

It felt… _warm_ … _familiar_ … But not in a way, like things were with Seymore… It was like he saw everything, once again, as if he had forgotten it…

 _Very well, son of Mokar… I will grant your wish, but I will take your very being as a token… You will get power, the power you seek, to do whatever you_ DESIRE _… But I will make sure your deeds are known…_

He didn’t get to react, before the bright glow of the book overwhelmed him, covering the forest with a weird, purple light. He fell back, covering his eyes as the whispers intensified, _screaming_ in his head, _taunting_ him and promising things he could _never_ achieve without them.

When he felt the soul-crushing pain run through his veins, he couldn’t help but to scream, _pleading_ to make it stop, _pleading_ for someone to help, but no one came. He had _never_ felt pain like this, not _even_ when his magic was out of control. No matter how hard he breathed, no air filled his lungs, and his eyes burned with no tears to wet them at all.

Had the half moon demon tricked him? Had he been too naïve? Was he given his life away for granted? He wondered if this was what burning for eternity would feel like, or if _anything_ could feel worse than this, but he doubted it.

,,I see,’’ a voice said, much clearer now, no whispers and no talking in tongues. ,,Have you ever wondered, Nite Greenlight, from where you came? I see your mother told you truths, although only halves. She never said from _where_ you came. You never asked her.’’ The voice was soothing. _Familiar_ , but he couldn’t recall he had ever heard it before. The pain vanished as the being spoke, but he didn’t dare to open his eyes.

,,It doesn’t matter,’’ he said quietly. ,,I’m not interested in my father. Whatever reasons he had, he _left me_ with _her_ ,’’ he said, feeling the tears stream down his cheeks.

,,You’re stubborn, that’s how you’ll survive. That’s how you’ll achieve your goals, sweet child. That’s why I grant you my powers,’’ it said. ,,Do you ever wonder from where _I_ came? Do you ever wonder why _I_ would choose _you?_ ’’

,,No,’’ he said, feeling stings of pains run through his body again. ,,You’re gonna tell me… that I’m special, or something?’’ he asked, feeling too drained to even talk. The voice laughed, filling the forest with sounds he didn’t like.

,,Play your cards right, and you’ll get to know,’’ it said, almost playfully. Nite felt the sweat drip from his face, the blackness from his closed eyes turning white and distorted.

,,I don’t need to know,’’ he said tiredly. ,,I’m not interested in _stories_ , I’m interested in _actions_ ,’’ he said, feeling his body shake. ,,Either _end me_ or _get it over with_ , you lazy demon!’’ he sneered, falling flat on the ground, feeling his consciousness run out. He heard the piercing laughter, as his body finally demanded him to rest…

… _You will know, Nite Greenlight… One day, this will all make sense…_

… It was dark, when he woke up. His head ached and his whole body felt sore, but he still managed to get up again. Besides the pain, he didn’t _feel_ any different. When he looked at his wrists, there were no mark.

He doubted for a moment that it had even happened, but how could he have had such a vivid dream? Could he really be so stressed out and overworked? He would hate if that was the case.

The book was gone, as if it had never existed. And if this had all been a dream, maybe it hadn’t even been in his bag to begin with. The note was gone as well, erasing all traces of his vividly, feverish experience.

Walking back to the castle felt a little easier than he remembered. He thought it was because he had had some rest, but even _he_ knew it didn’t make sense. If the only power the demon had granted him was greater physical stamina, he would be downright furious.

He didn’t feel particular _excited_ when he looked at the castle, but not as dreadful as he had thought so, either. Mostly, he felt sore, but not tired. He had looked forward to sleeping in his own bed, of all things, but now that thought seemed far gone.

The castle was empty. He didn’t know what time it was, but by all means, Seymore could be asleep. He had no clue for how long he had actually traveled, or how long he had slept in the forest for that matter, but he knew he couldn’t have much time left before his mother would pester the troll of his whereabouts.

He couldn’t help but to peek into the basement chamber, but the troll wasn’t there. He hadn’t left the castle, because his sparse belongings where still there, but he guessed he was up late, for some reason. He threw his bags in his own room, but didn’t plan to stay, as he walked down the hallway to his study chamber. Maybe he could figure out what had happened with the _Demon of Desire?_

,,You’re back,’’ he heard behind him, the familiar voice cutting through his endless void of thoughts. It hit him harder than he had expected, as if the troll’s words _hurt_ his very soul. ,,That’s good… I was getting worried… Your mother said it wouldn’t take more than three days, but you probably would be home before that…’’ he yawned, as Nite’s back still was turned towards him. He feared even _looking_ at him.

,,Why are you up now? Isn’t it late?’’ he asked, warningly softly. Seymore seemed to notice this, because he spoke a little more concerned this time:

,,… I haven’t slept since I received the letter. It was sent with urgent delivery. And I… It might not seem like it, but I was worried, why you would leave _in the middle of the night_ , like that,’’ he said slowly.

,,I see,’’ he said, trying to steady his heart. He couldn’t remember it felt like _this_ to talk with the troll. His knees felt _weak_ , but not because he was flustered, more like if his soul was in an uproar. ,,You… You can go to sleep now… I’ll read a little…’’ he tried, but stumbled when he tried to move forward.

,,Are you alright? I can… uhm, I’ll _assist_ you, sir, if you need me to. Have you eaten anything since you left your mother?’’ he asked, moving closer to the smaller man. Nite couldn’t remember. _Had_ he eaten anything? He had been so ingulfed in that book, that he barely had noticed anything around him.

,,I… I don’t know…’’ he admitted, grabbing onto the wall. He heard the troll’s feet more quickly approach as he supported him from behind, so the young man wouldn’t fall.

,,Forgive me, I _know_ I shouldn’t… _grab_ _you_ , like this, but…’’ he said, but Nite couldn’t hear anything. The pain ran through his body yet again, making him jitter and flinch unbearably.

He jolted himself loose from the troll’s hands, turning around to finally look at him again. Another sharp jolt ran through him, but then it vanished, as weirdly as it had come.

To his surprise, Seymore looked at him as if he had seen a ghost. First confused, then _horrified_ , before he fell backwards onto the floor, scooting away from the young man while he stammered and whaled. At first, he thought the troll felt the pain too, but that didn’t make much sense. He didn’t _look_ like he was in pain. He looked _terrified._

,,What is it?’’ Nite said, more confused than anything. It took the troll some trials to form any cohesive sentence, as tears dwelled in his eyes, making the sorcerer forget all about his pain and soreness.

,,Y-your eyes… Your _face!_ W-what did you _do?!_ ’’ he stammered, scooting further away. Nite didn’t _understand_ what he meant, and only managed to remember to make a mirror, as Seymore kept blabbering about his _eyes_.

,,What do you mean?’’ he said, looking into the mirror, seeing the same, mahogany orbs as he was used to. ,,My eyes, doesn’t…’’ But then he looked at his forehead, and everything made sense again.

,,W-why is there a _half moon_ on y-your forehead?’’ he stammered, holding around himself, rocking slightly. Nite had _never_ seen Seymore more afraid of anything magic related than this, and he could barely blame him, after all the trouble he had went through to get it.

,,It worked,’’ he whispered, a glimpse of excitement across his face. ,,It worked!’’ he said again, smiling to the troll.

,,… Why are your eyes red, Nite?’’ he croaked, making the sorcerer confused again. He looked back into the mirror, but his eyes were still the same.

,,They’re not?’’ he said confused. ,,They’re _brown_. Sure, they have a red _tint_ , but they’re not… _red_ …’’ he said confused, as he kept looking into the mirror.

This explained why it had hurt to speak with Seymore. To _touch_ Seymore. To just _be_ around Seymore. The Demon of Desire was _jealous_ , he thought with a smirk, and it wanted to know _exactly_ what kind of person a mortal would give away his security for like this. Having his dark mark on his forehead, would be a _death-sentence,_ should he ever get caught by the Protectors of Aenamo.

,,Why do you look so afraid, troll?’’ he asked, smirking down at the older man as he cast the mirror aside. Seymore tried to hide himself behind his big hands, like a child afraid of thunder, but Nite just quietly walked towards him, humming lightly as he did so.

,,Nite, please, I’m sorry, but _please_ , don’t hurt me, _please_ leave me,’’ he said all too fast, but flinched as the footsteps stopped in front of him.

,,I’m not going to hurt you, troll,’’ he said calmly, _curiously_ , even. He leaned down, gently touching the top of the troll’s head at first. He was shaking. He wondered if Seymore felt the pain as he himself did? Then he firmly grabbed around his chin, guiding him to look at him again. ,,What’s the matter? It’s just _me_. _Relax_ , as I said, I won’t _hurt_ you,’’ he smirked, revealing his broken tooth as he did so, but it didn’t seem to calm the troll.

,, _Please_ , leave me…’’ he said again, his amber eyes almost shaking as he did so. ,,I’m sorry, Nite. I’m really, really sorry… Please, tell me what to do, _please_ don’t hurt me…’’ he pleaded, sitting as frozen while Nite stared down at the troll.

,,You’re not very good at _listening_ , now, are you?’’ he asked, almost bored. ,,Look at me, will you? Get your ass up,’’ he snarled, releasing his grip in the troll as he stood up. Seymore was still shaking, his hands folded in front of him, holding himself tightly to not run away or upset the small man further. ,, _Good_. Look at _me_. What are you so _afraid_ of?’’ he smirked.

,,… You did it, didn’t you? The… The mark on that book… It’s… glowing… I… _Why are your eyes red, Nite?_ ’’ he whispered worried.

,,They’re not!’’ he insisted, making the troll shudder even more. ,,You’re asking the wrong questions, _troll_. Ask what _I want_ ,’’ he smiled, trying to calm himself down. Seymore looked confused at him, and hesitated far too long. ,,I said,’’ he continued, tracing his fingers across the scared troll’s face, before he pulled his ear down to make them at the same eye level, ,, _ask me what I want_.’’

,,… What do you want?’’ he asked shakenly, frozen to the place he stood, unable to flee.

,,I want what I _always_ wanted. I want _you_ ,’’ he said, yanking the bigger man closer to himself. ,,But let me make it _simple_ enough for you,’’ he said, not letting the troll interrupt him. ,,I want you on your _knees_ in my study chamber in fifteen minutes, or I want you out of my sight for good,’’ he whispered darkly.

While Nite never really could read people, and rarely was sure if his interpretation of them was truthful or not, he knew Seymore very well. Even this long after, and in a state of fear and panic, he could still see the amber eyes shift and darken at the thought of indulging in this ‘forbidden’ behavior again. And while this wasn’t _exactly_ what he had wanted, he would live with this, making the troll remember _just_ what he could have gotten, hadn’t he been so cowardly in the past.

,,I don’t… _understand_ , Nite… What _happened_ with the…’’ he tried, but Nite cut him off, placing his leg between the troll’s as he pressed against him, feeling the broad body react instantly.

,,Doesn’t matter,’’ he said, pulling in the ear again, making the troll whine. ,,Come on, you’re a _good_ troll, aren’t you? No need to make me _impatient_ , now, is there?’’ he said, sickeningly sweetly.

,,I am… _scared_ …’’ he whispered, his gaze trying to avoid Nite’s. ,,I know… I _know_ I messed up, I _understand_ that you’re mad at me, and if… If this is what you want, I don’t… I’m just… _so_ scared…’’ he whimpered, the tears back in his eyes.

,,Don’t be,’’ he said, almost gently. ,,I won’t hurt you.’’

,,… But why not?’’ he croaked, finally looking directly into Nite’s big, deep-set eyes. He felt a slight sting, but nothing like the pain before. ,,I don’t get why you’re not… furious, with me…’’

,,Oh, but I am,’’ he simply said, making the troll shudder again by his words. ,,But I don’t need _magic_ to make you feel _exactly_ as I felt,’’ he whispered, finally releasing his grip in the troll’s ear. ,,I’m _gracious_ , troll. I give you _a choice_. You’ve made it very clear that I can’t _order_ you to do this, so if you’re in my study chamber in due time, I _expect_ that you’re fine with my arrangements?’’ he said quietly, smiling as the troll nodded. ,, _Good_. Go write to my mother. I don’t care if you mention _this_. She’ll not be home for a _while_ ,’’ he smiled satisfied, moving towards the big, heavy door of the study chamber, as Seymore shook and tried to collect himself.

,,Aye,’’ he said, before running off. Nite wondered _if_ he would join him in the study chamber, or if fifteen minutes was enough time to calm himself down again. While he would never be _exactly_ sure, it had really felt like it did back then, when Seymore was horny and trying his hardest to wait for the small man to decide if he wanted to play or not.

Like how his eyes would get a little darker, more half-lidded and intense. How his breath would be a little shallower, he would smell a little sweater…

While Nite sat down on his throne, his body more than reacting to pleasant memories, he felt the pulsating _desire_ to make Seymore feel everything he had felt himself throughout the months they’ve been fooling around. All the confusion, all the _heartache_ … all the love, he wasn’t able to get…

He wanted Seymore to be on his knees, _begging_ for every part of him, from his body to his love. He wanted him to _regret_ every time he had said no, every time he had insisted that he didn’t want a lover, because Nite _knew_ he was a liar.

While he didn’t know if he still felt any of that, he _knew_ he could make him feel all that _again_ …

He wondered what Seymore had meant with his eyes, but mostly, he sat and admired the half moon on his forehead while the minutes felt like _hours_. It wasn’t _ideal_ for a dark mark to be placed on the forehead, but he would take it. If _this_ was how he would gain power, without sacrificing the troll, he would gladly take it.

Minutes passed. Seconds ran out. He knew the fifteen minutes were up, and prepared himself on the slight disappointment that Seymore hadn’t turned up. But could he really blame him? His fear had clearly outweighed his lust and regret, he thought…

… And then the door opened…


	16. 16) A simple touch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While there have been some elements of BDSM in past chapters, we're moving into something that could be classified as dubious consent. Hopefully, it's clear form the story that they're both willingly participating, but as they don't discuss it with each other, I rather want to give a 'heads up'.  
> This and the following chapter will both have similar elements.
> 
> While this is in no way a guide at 'how to sex', I would still advice people interested in BDSM or activities with pain or control as main aspect, to discuss boundaries and safe-words with their partner(s).

,,You actually came,’’ the sorcerer said amused, as Seymore slowly closed the door behind him. He felt the same flutters as he had done in the past, when he looked at the small man on his throne, silently promising things he didn’t even knew he desired.

It was a bad idea, he knew that. Even getting here had been a hard choice. Not only because he feared the looming anger of the sorcerer, but mostly because he had longed so _much_ for the touch from the long, cold hands, that in that _instant_ moment Nite had ran his fingers across Seymore’s face, he wanted him to keep touching him, even in his scattered state of fear.

He had tried so hard to stay away from Nite, ever since Willa had mentioned that he would soon be ready to join her on her travels. If he had ever doubted it before, she had no interest in keeping him in the castle for longer than necessarily, but for some reason, she wouldn’t just throw him out, either. When she had mentioned planning on betrothing him away, going on another trip to settle the arrangements, he _knew_ he had a choice, but in the end, he chose wrong.

Seymore could have tried to talk things out with Nite, while his mother was away. If he was _almost_ ready to leave, maybe they would have had a chance in running away. He could have poured his own broken heart out, begging for a chance to make things right, but in the end, he could never shake the feeling that Nite would be better off with some sorceress, that could protect him from whatever it was that Willa hid him from.

Why did Seymore _choose_ to come back to this? He _knew_ that if he stepped into the study chamber, they would fall back into old habits. And seeing how Nite had changed in a few months, apparently _finally_ getting into the damned book of black magic, he wasn’t sure if he was even the same person, as the sweet, awkward man he had fallen for, back then.

He felt guilty for wanting this. He knew Nite was acting irrational, and even if he _said_ this was what he wanted, he couldn’t imagine this would make up for over a years’ distance. But still… As soon as Nite had hinted about _anything_ , he had been ready to drop on his knees, finding something soothing in the slight threat in his eyes when he looked at him.

These eyes of his wasn’t the same as the young man he had fallen for, but they held promises of making Seymore _pay_ , in a way that made his heart pound and his cock twitch, whether he liked it or not.

,,You’re very quiet,’’ Nite said, as Seymore had been lost in thoughts, taking in the sight of the small man, sitting so majestically on his throne. He had barely noticed that the sorcerer wasn’t wearing his old, grey sweater anymore, but sat gracefully in his lavender shirt, just staring judgingly at the troll.

,,I’m sorry,’’ he said slowly, fidgeting with his big hands. The sorcerer gestured him to come closer, looking impatient as he stepped forward right in front of the throne.

,,What did I _tell_ you, troll? I’m _sure_ I didn’t tell you to stand around like that,’’ he said suggestively. ,,Get on your knees.’’

Seymore reacted in an instant, so easily falling into place, despite his racing heart. It seemed to amuse Nite how willing the troll still was, despite his best attempts at creating distance. The sorcerer stood up, unbuckling his belt while the red eyes burned into the amber ones. His motions weren’t feminine and flirtatious, as they used to be, but he still held himself gracefully, dominant and controlled, as he let the pants fall down themselves, gesturing for the troll to come even closer.

,,Let me make this _clear_ for you: I’m not playing your games. You’re following _my_ rules this time, got it?’’ he said harshly, grabbing the back of Seymore’s head, pushing his face against the still covered cock. The troll nodded and whimpered, feeling intoxicated just by the feel and smell that lingered in the air. ,, _Good_. Then let me make this _exceptionally_ clear for you: I want to _come._ And you’re going to be a _good boy_ and make me _come_ , or I’ll be _sure_ to find punishments much more _suitable_ for you than simple _spankings_ ,’’ he smiled cruelly.

,,Yes,’’ he whimpered, beginning to tug down in the small man’s undergarments, but the sorcerer slapped his hands away unexpectantly.

,,Yes _what?_ ’’ he asked harshly.

,,Yes _sir_ ,’’ he corrected himself, feeling pleasant tingles. He _hated_ how much he wanted this, _longed_ for this, just as much as he had wanted Nite back then, but in a completely different way. Seymore wasn’t the teacher, anymore, and willingly gave Nite every ounce of control he had ever had.

,, _Good_ boy. You better make _sure_ not to forget that again,’’ he smiled satisfied, beginning to unbutton his shirt, as Seymore carefully proceeded to pull down the fabric.

Nite hadn’t changed much physically, he concluded. While it didn’t seem that he would get any taller, he hadn’t grown much anywhere else, either. But he was still hard and leaking, and it felt almost overwhelming how familiar it all was, when he leaned forward to taste him. He could feel the small man twitch delightfully, as he wrapped his mouth around him, the amber eyes looking mesmerized up at him as he sucked him off.

He didn’t jerk or jitter as much as he used to. Seymore wasn’t shy about hitting all the spots he knew Nite adored, but the young man was much more in control than he had ever been before. Even if he had been dominant in the past, he usually couldn’t keep up that demeaner as soon as the troll began to touch him, usually melting right in his hands.

But now, he was different. He undoubtedly enjoyed it, and he looked very pleased down at the troll, but he didn’t seem as sensitive or fidgety as he had been in the past. Seymore couldn’t know how much Nite had _explored_ himself in the past year, or if he had somewhat gained some experience out on his travels, but in that moment, it didn’t matter. His newfound control made the troll so much more secure in his actions, as he kept slurping away on the leaking member.

,,Not bad, not bad,’’ he mused, grabbing around the troll’s head to push harder into his mouth. Seymore gurgled by surprise, but didn’t pull away. ,,A shame I’m not bigger than this, so I could make you _choke_ ,’’ he smirked, pulling out to slap his wet cock against the troll’s face.

Seymore didn’t answer, he just proceeded to continue, as soon as Nite released the grip in his cock. His own cock twisted unbearably, but he was smarter than to touch himself when his Master had yet to come. While he didn’t downright fear that the sorcerer would harm him in the situation anymore, he didn’t put that much trust in whatever spirit that was responsible for the half moon on Nite’s forehead.

Every once in a while, Nite would pull out, slap him with either his cock or his hand, telling him to do _better_ or praise him ever so slightly. He knew that the young man knew him all too well, and he found himself sinking deeper and deeper into trusting him blindly, as he otherwise only really had experienced with Ruvaen.

But this was different. For Ruvaen, submission was a kind of love, but he couldn’t imagine that Nite still _loved_ him. If anything, submission for Nite was a way to control and handle his pent-up frustrations, and Seymore found that he didn’t mind that, that much. If anything, he felt like he deserved to dwell into his feelings’ descent yet again, lusting and longing for a man he couldn’t get.

,,Get up,’’ the sorcerer said, pulling away as the troll slowly stood again, hiding away his bulge, to no avail. ,,Strip down,’’ he said, smirking at the flustered troll. ,,You don’t have to be _shy_ , I’ve seen it all before,’’ he mused, getting out of his own shirt as well, before he sat down fully naked at the throne again.

He was already fully erect when he pulled his pants down, his cock leaking so much it stained his pants, but if anything, this seemed to satisfy Nite. The small man gestured for him to come closer to the throne, that he so casually sat on, amused by the tension in the air. Seymore walked as close as he could, but Nite kept gesturing him forward.

,,What’s the matter? You’re not going to stop over there, _are you?_ I can’t _reach_ from there,’’ he smiled. As gracefully as he could, he climbed the throne, resting his knees painfully on either armrest, as he tried to move as close to the small man as possible. He tried to support his weight on the backrest of the throne, feeling exposed and unsteady in this position, but he didn’t complain, as the small man uninterested traced his fingers down the big, throbbing cock. ,,It’s been a while since you touched yourself, haven’t it?’’ he smirked, letting his fingers tease the tip of the glistering member.

,,Yes, _sir_ ,’’ he whimpered, trying his hardest not to push forward to shush the small man.

,,It’s going to be a while _more_ , before I’ll let you come, got it?’’ he smiled, before sticking his tongue out, lightly licking the salty precum. Nite still showed no signs of getting flustered or slipping up in his dominant demeaner, and every move and every word sent pleasant shivers down the troll’s spine.

He had _loved_ that Nite broke down and couldn’t keep up his act in the past, but it all felt so much more _intense_ now. Nite knew _exactly_ the buttons to push, and it seemed like he made good on the _research_ he had done in the past.

His tongue wasn’t as shy or curious as it had been, but much more persistent. He didn’t moan as much into the blowjob, but Seymore didn’t doubt that he enjoyed himself, because he could see one of his hands trace down his stomach, before it went south to his own, impatient cock. The other hand held underneath the troll, playing with his heavy balls and pulling the foreskin back, if it tried to cover up the head again.

He closed his eyes, clung to the throne the best he could, and enjoyed to feel so out of control as he did. Even if Nite had said he didn’t want the troll to come, he did his best to not make this an easy task for him. Seymore tried to be as still as possible, but his breath was shallow, and he feared drooling down at the small man underneath him.

Then he felt the long, cold fingers creep from his balls, to further back. He kept still, but opened his eyes by surprise, when he felt both of Nite’s hands squeeze his ass tightly.

,,I, ahm… _Sir_ , I’m not… _clean_ , for that…’’ Seymore said quietly, trying to look away. Nite still had had the troll’s cock in his mouth to this point, but now slowly pulled away, licking his lips and smirking to the older man.

,,I didn’t expect you to be,’’ he mused, licking the tip as he kept groping his ass. ,,I can _fix_ that. Or, you can fix it yourself, if you prefer.’’ This was the first time that Nite seemed to slow down and pulling away from his dominant position, giving him a choice, he hadn’t really expected to get. If anything, he had guessed Nite would use his magic trick without further notice, as he had done back in the tent at his 16th birthday.

,,… If it… _pleases you_ , sir, I would like you to _fix_ it…’’ he said slowly, closing his eyes when he caught a glimpse of the sheer _delight_ in the sorcerer’s eyes. He both looked threatening and _proud_ , and while Seymore didn’t really know if he liked to be looked at like that, his body sure _did_.

,,It pleases me _very_ much,’’ he chuckled. Seymore felt the chill run down his spine, part due to the sorcerer’s tone, and part due to the magic that ran through him. ,,Turn around, troll. I want to have a look at _this_ ,’’ he smirked, spreading the green cheeks again.

It wasn’t as easy to keep his balance like this. He was half laying in the throne, his legs still resting on the broad armrests, and his hands helplessly gripping the throne itself, while Nite playfully spread him out and touched him in every way he wanted to.

He spat at him, chuckling delighted when his ass would clench expectantly, or stretch him with his thumbs, as if he wanted to look inside. Seymore wasn’t exactly sure _what_ the small man’s plan was, but he _knew_ he enjoyed the show, as the sorcerer’s cock throbbed right underneath the troll’s head. He carefully put his head down, gently licking the stiff member, as Nite continued to explore his behind, but shook in surprise when he felt the hard hand on his ass.

,,Did _I_ give your _permission_ to do _that?_ ’’ he said harshly, spanking him yet again, making the troll’s legs shake.

,,No _sir_. My apologies. Can I _please_ suck you off?’’ he asked, his voice quivering and shallow, trying to keep himself steady when yet another firm hand met his ass. He felt ashamed about how much he enjoyed it, fearing his precum would dirty the man underneath him.

,,Go ahead. Then I’ll get a taste of _this_ ,’’ he mused, leaning up to put his tongue against the troll’s clenching asshole. It felt much more direct and overwhelming than the last time he had done this, and he tried to drown his moans against the cock in his mouth. Nite’s tongue burrowed itself in the troll’s ass, his hands slapped or pinched his cheeks, and his teeth scraped the sensitive skin at every opportunity he had. Seymore felt the saliva run down his entrance, down his balls, further down his length and mix with the precum, dripping dangerously down at the small man. ,,What am I?’’ he asked, pulling slightly away to spit on the slick hole.

,,M-my Master…’’ he whined, shyly pushing himself against Nite’s open mouth. He could feel his teeth against one of his ass cheeks, whining when he bit down, harder and harder.

,,That’s _right_. And what are _you?_ ’’ he smirked, rather brutally fingering the troll, easily finding the prostate and not giving Seymore a chance to collect his breath.

,,I-I’m a filthy troll…’’ he moaned, receiving one slap after another, his body shaking violently.

,, _What_ are you?’’ he demanded to know again.

,,I’m _your_ filthy troll, _sir_ ,’’ he corrected himself, groaning when Nite put in another finger. His mind was clouded, not even knowing how many fingers was stretching his sorry ass.

,, _Good_. Now we’re getting to the _good_ part. I have something _else_ for your slick hole,’’ he said amused, pulling out his fingers and grabbing around his own cock, waving it impatiently. ,, _Sit down_ ,’’ he demanded.

Seymore froze for a moment, not because he didn’t want to feel the human’s cock inside himself, but because his legs already felt weak underneath him. Regardless, he got down from the throne, stretched his back shortly, before he, as easily as he could, tried to sit on top of the sorcerer.

,,I, uhm… I’m not _exactly_ used to… be on top _like this_ , sir…’’ he said shakenly. His long limbs felt awkward in this position. He felt the sorcerer’s hands on his hips, guiding him rather gently around, to positioning him better on top of the small man.

,,That’s quiet alright, pet. This is just something we will have to train you for, then,’’ he mused, thrusting against the tight entrance. ,,Relax. Sit down, you’re not going to crush me,’’ he said reassuring, still with both of his hands firmly on the troll’s hips.

With shaky movements, he sat down, relaxing as much as he could and groaning slightly at the feeling. He had underestimated why Nite wanted him in this position, and just assumed it had been a sudden thought he had had. But between his awkward positions on the throne, wearing out his stamina and teasing the troll unbearably, he felt his sore muscles add some pleasant sensation, he wouldn’t have gotten, had he laid down instead. Nite knew his strengths and weaknesses, and when he couldn’t have a big cock, he would just make sure to add something _else_ to the scenario, to make it both pleasant and painful.

Seymore had been truthful, it was rare he had been riding his partners, especially his small partners, as Nite were. He feared that his legs would give in, and he would end up hurting the man underneath him, but the hands on his hips seemed to steady him enough, so he could just concentrate on serving his Master, in any way he desired.

,,Move your hips. Yes, like that. _All_ the way down,’’ he said, lightly spanking him as he did so. ,,You’re getting tired _already?_ I don’t remember you to be satisfied this _easily_ ,’’ he smirked, thrusting his thin body forcefully against the troll.

It felt more intense than last time Nite had tried to top him, and he didn’t know if it was due to the position, or that simple fact that the small man kept going, with no signs of tiring out or slowing down. He was just big enough to hit the prostate, and being as hard as he was, Seymore found it hard to focus on riding him himself, without the sorcerer’s guidance.

He could feel the long, slender hands caressed and grab his ass, and he remembered how _excited_ this had made Nite in the past. He wondered if he, even without saying it, was just as excited this time?

,,Get up, lazy ass,’’ he said harshly, spanking the troll as he began to stand. Seymore’s legs shook underneath him, but he still quietly obeyed the small man, as he turned around to meet the sorcerer’s hard gaze. ,,Lay down instead,’’ he said, moving himself from the throne. Seymore froze again, looking at the throne, he had held in so high regards as the token of the difference between Nite and himself. Laying down there felt _wrong_. But he wouldn’t look _down_ on Nite, if he laid in the throne, with the sorcerer leaning over him, he guessed…

He laid down, barely fitting his long body in the otherwise marvelous throne. He rested his legs on the armrest, spreading himself out as he looked flustered and uncertain up at the sorcerer’s stern gaze. It didn’t feel familiar, but he wouldn’t exactly say he _disliked_ this kind of attention, either. But Nite _felt_ different, and he still didn’t know if it was due to time changing him, or the mark on his forehead.

Nite grabbed the troll’s legs as he began pushing inside, much more forceful than he could ever be when Seymore had been on top. It seemed to delight him, that the troll just laid back and took his dick, whimpering and leaking onto himself. His big, fat cock stood stiff and impatiently, hoping for some kind of attention it never got.

,,Can I… touch myself, sir?’’ he whimpered, hoping to get release somewhat soon, but Nite just slapped the big troll hands away, grabbing _hard_ around the fat cock himself instead.

,, _No_ ,’’ he smirked, leaning his light body against the troll’s. ,,You’re not going to come before I. This is _my_ pleasure. And you’ll get your _treat_ if I deem you’ve _deserved_ it,’’ he smiled cruelly, slamming himself against the troll’s spread ass again. ,,You _like_ that, don’t you? You clench so much,’’ he panted, licking his lips as he observed the whimpering troll. ,,I wonder if you could come _just_ by this? If that’s the case, I’ll allow _that_ ,’’ he smirked.

,,I… a-ah! I haven’t d-done that before…’’ he whined, the sorcerer’s grip still tight around his cock. If Nite kept going like this, he might’ve actually been able to come, he thought as he kept whimpering, slightly grinding against the small man’s firm grip, but getting no friction at all.

,,Well then, then you have to _wait_ for it,’’ he said, keeping up the speed and roughness. When Nite was so close to him, leaning in over him and forcing his cock so _roughly_ into him, making the troll just as much of a moaning mess that he had previously made the sorcerer himself, he really wanted to lean up and kiss him again, but he didn’t dare. Just by the look in the red eyes, he knew that wouldn’t be wise.

He would have never _guessed_ that Nite would make him this much of his personal bottom bitch when he had asked him to strip. Despite his change in demeaner, he hadn’t thought he wanted to be on top before he began touching his ass. He wasn’t dissatisfied, but the whole situation overwhelmed him.

,,Hey, look at me,’’ he demanded when the troll tried to hide away behind his big hands. ,,I can’t _come_ if my filthy troll won’t even look at me,’’ he said amused, rather gently tracing the troll’s lips with his thumb. ,,You _want_ me to come, _right?_ ’’ he smirked, licking his lips hungrily.

Seymore nodded, feeling small underneath Nite’s gaze. He gently let his tongue out, licking lightly on the thumb, before Nite forced it into the troll’s warm mouth, sucking and licking to drown out his moans just a tad.

,,Is this _simple_ enough for you?’’ he suddenly said, repeating words that brought Seymore back to a harsh reality. ,,Is _this_ what you wanted? Somebody to _punish_ you, somebody to _torment_ you?’’ he asked, his eyes piercing into the amber ones.

He didn’t answer, he just whimpered against the finger in his mouth, feeling the human let go of his cock to place his other thumb in his mouth as well. Nite’s grip around his cheeks were tight, and he almost thought he tried to kiss him, when he gently lifted the troll’s head. Instead, he felt the thumbs pry his mouth open as the sorcerer spat into it, smirking by the surprised whimpers from the troll.

,,You’re _disgusting_ , you know that?’’ he smiled cruelly, chuckling when the troll nodded. ,,I’m gonna make you question _everything_ you thought you knew about yourself,’’ he whispered, pulling his thumbs out of the troll’s mouth, before he slowly placed his hands around the troll’s throat. He merely placed his hands there, seemingly wondering if this would be too far, but Seymore just slowly placed his hands around his Master’s, nodding slightly for him to continue.

Nite had kept this new, kind of sadistic demeaner up pretty well, but in this instant, he saw the slightest doubt in his eyes. The slightest softness, he was relieved still was there.

The slightest hint of love…

The sorcerer didn’t choke him hard, but just enough to make his breath a little shallower, and his whimpers a little harder to get across his lips. He felt the pressure build inside, surprised he was actually getting this close to coming, without anything even touching his cock. His fingers curled between Nite’s, and the small man graciously allowed him to do so, keeping the troll down in his place while he kept on thrusting, panting himself.

,,M-Master…’’ Seymore groaned, feeling the hands loosen against his throat. ,,I am… r-really close… Can I come, _sir?_ ’’ he asked, his fingers still curled around Nite’s.

,, _Yes_ , come for me. Let me see you _dirty_ yourself,’’ he smiled, untangling his fingers to spank the troll’s ass again. Every hit sent him a little further, every demeaning word edged him on, until he looked up, watching as Nite leaned down to his neck, gently kissing him before he bit down far harder than he usually had done.

,, _Yes, mark me!_ ’’ he growled, moaning loudly as he shot for the first time. Nite didn’t release his grip in him, digging his fingers into the troll’s sore ass, as he kept coming all over himself.

,,What a _good_ troll you are,’’ he purred, grabbing around the troll’s still twitching cock, making sure every drop came out. He licked his fingers, humming delighted by the taste of the troll it seemed, making Seymore blush as his body kept tingling. ,, _My turn_ ,’’ he smirked, biting down on the troll’s shoulder, as he thrusted into him a few, last times, coming with what mostly resembled a muffled roar, claiming the troll as his prize.

He stayed bent over for just a second after he had come, before pulling out of the troll, making the cum drip from his still spread-out hole. Nite looked satisfied at his work, gently putting his fingers inside the troll again, swirling them around for a moment, before he presented his cum covered fingers for the man underneath him.

,,Lick,’’ he demanded, and Seymore stretched his back to sloppily clean the fingers. ,,Good boy. Keep your mouth open,’’ he smirked, diving down to the troll’s stomach, licking the cum of him while he kept staring down the older, whimpering man. When he had cleaned most of the troll of, his mouth full of cum, he leaned up to Seymore’s face again.

Again, he _thought_ he would get a kiss. He _hoped_ he would get a kiss, but the small man’s lips never touched his, as he with a wicked smile began to spill the cum all over the troll’s face, some landing in his open mouth, but most just around his face.

,,There, there,’’ he smiled playfully, ,,all nice and _pretty_ for me, aren’t you, _slut?_ ’’ he smirked, standing up again. ,,Well _that_ certainly hit the spot,’’ he sighed, in a much less demeaning tone, but Seymore was still wary, as he untangled himself from the throne. ,,You might want to… _clean up_ , or something,’’ he said, almost chuckling as he looked at the cum-covered troll.

He couldn’t help but smile, but this seemed to fluster the small man, just as much as it had done in the past. He wiped his face, gathered his clothes and watched Nite curiously as he dressed himself.

,,What is it?’’ Nite sighed, finally looking back at the flustered, older man.

,,… Nothing. I just wanted to know if you needed me for anything else, _sir_ , or if I’m excused to leave?’’ he said calmly, watching this stern, stoic man in front of him, blush ever so slightly when Seymore _kept_ holding him to these standards, he otherwise had seemed to believe himself just moments ago.

,,No, no, you can go. I will… _find you_ , when I want to… _rekindle_ this again,’’ he said, looking away, trying to save face.

,,Very well. I assume you haven’t eaten anything, so with all due respect, I’ll put a platter in the fridge for you,’’ he said walking towards the door when Nite mumbled something resembling a confirmation. ,,Thank you for tonight, sir,’’ he said, closing the door behind him.

Nite needed _time_. He needed time to find comfort, in whatever it was he tried to achieve. While Seymore really _wanted_ to stay, talking things out as he should have done years ago, he could tell that wasn’t what Nite needed right now. If he wanted to play games of control and dominance, fine by him. But he couldn’t deny that he missed getting down from their high, cuddling together and talking about all those things they used to, even the hard ones where Seymore felt that he had to _deny_ how much he actually had cared for the young man.

He wanted that again. And if he was lucky, and hardworking, and _worthy_ … he might get a chance again. But right now, Nite needed _an escape_ , rather than a friend. He needed someone to toss around and blow steam off at, and Seymore didn’t fear he would harm him in any way, when the young man had hesitated choking him, only doing so when the troll tried to make it clear that he, too, wanted it.

In any way possible, he wanted to let Nite know that he was still there, but he also needed to be careful. His feelings for Nite hadn’t faded over the time they hadn’t spent together, and just like with Ruvaen, his dreams and longings had settled with Nite, making the mahogany eyes taunt him at night. If anything, he missed those eyes, that he didn’t think he would ever get to see again.

But Nite had changed, not only his eyes. As the days passed, he saw it more and more. The awkward, nerdy kid he had fallen for were no more, he was merely left with the stern, secluded man the dark spirit tried to turn him into. Every once in a while, he got to see a little of the Nite he had fallen for; the way he smiled and chuckled, deprived from the cruelty he knew the mark held inside of him, or the subtle gestures he did for the troll, maybe without even noticing himself. Like touching him a little longer than he needed to… Kissing his neck, before biting down…

He loved Nite. And if loving Nite meant _devoting_ himself, nothing felt more natural.

The sorcerer had been _right_ , things were pretty easy like this. Nite would usually not bother with him during the day, but would call him into his study chamber sometimes at night. As in the past, they wouldn’t speak much about why or how their relation had gotten to this point, and while it wasn’t as comfortable or casual as it had been before, it still felt safe and enjoyable.

As time went on, Nite evolved. While Seymore had introduced the young man to many things, sexual or otherwise, Nite bloomed into his own person, with desires Seymore had never discussed with him. It seemed he liked degradation in particular, although Seymore himself already had been very clear on his own kinks in regards to that in the past.

But for every time he stepped into the study chamber, he would find more, weird toys and tools laying around, that had nothing to do with magic at all. Ropes and gags, dildos and _whips_. So many whips. Nite got off on pain, in a much greater sense than the troll had experienced in the past, and got surprised every time the small man found new, pleasant ways to inflict pain on his prized troll.

Despite the degrading, Seymore could _feel_ that he cared for him. Had Nite been ruthless, he wouldn’t add pain in waves, as he did, but hit him full force from the start. Even if the troll felt ashamed about it, it was clear, even for Nite, that he liked this kind of treatment, and he kept coming back for more.

Nite had an almost unnatural way to know when to stop, and when to push further. Seymore sometimes got worried, having no clear stop-word, and no real discussion about boundaries, but as they kept their relation going, it seemed like he didn’t need one, after all. The troll wasn’t always familiar with the things that Nite did to him, but he never felt in danger, and Nite always seemed extra observant when he introduced new things.

,,Troll.’’ Nite never used his name, anymore. As if using his name would humanize him in a way, he wasn’t ready for or that he tried to avoid. He went down to the floor, looking eagerly up at his Master, as the small man approached him in the hallway.

,,What can I do for you, _sir?_ ’’ he purred, feeling the cold fingers caress him as the sorcerer walked by.

,,While I’m glad you’re so well-behaved, you can stand up. I’m not here to ruin that pretty face of yours,’’ he said, walking over to the window in the hallway. ,,I need to know what you wrote to my mother.’’ He hadn’t asked about the letter Seymore had sent the night he returned, and the troll had almost forgotten about it.

,,I wrote that you came home, safely,’’ he said quietly, standing up again. ,,… I didn’t mention your mark, sir. I would _assume_ that’s why you ask?’’ he said slowly.

,,It is,’’ he admitted, still not looking at the troll. ,,She didn’t mention it in her last letter, but I wasn’t sure if she just wouldn’t speak of it, while in the circle,’’ he shrugged, still looking outside the window.

,,… What’s on your mind, sir?’’ he asked gently, but didn’t stand beside him. He kept the distance, that Nite seemed comfortable with.

,,… All she wrote about was this _betrothal_ thing and how I ruined it for myself. Don’t get me wrong, I _did_ ruin it, but… I don’t know, I don’t know _why_ I thought she would _care_ ,’’ he shrugged again. ,,I maybe thought it would change, now I could go _out_ into the world, but it… It really _doesn’t_ ,’’ he said, finally turning around.

In a brief moment, Nite’s eyes weren’t red. Just like he had seen in the past, were they would flash red for a moment, they did the opposite now. And just for a brief moment, Seymore saw a glimpse of the man he so dearly longed for.

,,Why did you come back to the castle?’’ Seymore asked quietly.

,,… I barely know, anymore. I didn’t have any money with me, I guess. I didn’t know where to go,’’ he admitted, looking down to the side.

,,… You could still leave. You would have time now,’’ he hesitated, but Nite just shook his head.

,,It’s even _worse_ now. I can’t hide _this!_ It wasn’t supposed to be on my _forehead!_ ’’ he groaned, referring to the purple half moon.

,,… Do you regret getting it, sir?’’ he asked carefully, expecting Nite to get angry by the question, but he didn’t, as had he forgotten the rules he had set up for himself when interacting with the troll.

,,… No. I will do _great_ things with it, rest assured of that,’’ he said, looking into the amber eyes anew. His gaze was wondering and Seymore wanted to reach out to caress him, but as always, he was afraid. Afraid he read Nite wrong, afraid to scare him off. ,,Tell me, troll, why did you come back to the castle, back then?’’ he said, surprisingly softly.

,,… I… wanted to set things right with you,’’ he tried, feeling his heart pound. ,,And then… I _didn’t_ … I feel bad about what I did, back then, Nite. I really was selfish and scared. But I also feared… that whatever was in that book… would _consume_ you…’’ he said shakenly.

,,Your fears were _fruitless_ ,’’ he said, the coldness back in his voice as he looked down again. ,, _Who_ gave you permission to use _my name?_ ’’ he then said, his gaze dark and fiery, making the troll shudder.

,,I’m sorry _sir_ ,’’ he corrected himself.

,, _You_ kept making things hard. I’m making things _easy_ for you now, don’t _ruin_ it,’’ he said harshly, walking a little closer to the troll. ,,Why should I believe anything you say, _troll?_ ’’ he asked, yanking down in the older man’s jaw, clenching it between his fingers.

,,… You shouldn’t…’’ he concluded, his gaze sad as it met the red eyes. He sometimes wondered how deep his Nite was buried, underneath all this hurt. ,,I can never make up for my betrayal of trust, sir.’’ Nite didn’t seem satisfied with the answer, letting go of Seymore’s face again.

,,… I didn’t always respect your boundaries with magic…’’ he said softly. Softly, like he used to. Seymore almost gasped when he heard it, but it didn’t seem like Nite noticed it himself.

,,In the end, _sir_ … I figured out, that all my fears didn’t really matter… I am… and probably always will be, _afraid_ of magic, but… I think… I think I could have lived with that, given time, if I had trusted you a little more… and if you’ve been very up front with me… That’s why this is _simple_. It’s because you say exactly what you want, what you need and what you do… It’s not the lack of intimacy that makes it easy…’’ he said slowly, watching as Nite processed his words. ,,I think you already did that, though. Said what you wanted and needed, I mean… I just don’t think I always listened to anything else than my inner monologue,’’ he smiled, gently reaching out to cup his cheek.

But Nite didn’t let him. He grabbed the hand in the air, hard, as he stared down the taller man, with a spite he hadn’t expected.

,,It’s too late for _that_ ,’’ he sneered. ,,You would make me feel so _good_ , and then you would turn around in an instant and pretend we weren’t anything _special_. Wasn’t _this_ what you wanted to protect me from? Wasn’t _this_ what happened to you?’’ he asked, almost panicked. Seymore hesitated for a moment, before he felt the sorcerer’s grip in his hand loosen and he let go of him.

,,No,’’ he said sadly. ,,What I did to you, were worse. I fear… I sometimes fear, _sir_ , that if I had just… _let go_ , and _been_ the person you wanted… If you would still have that mark on your forehead, then,’’ he said, his gaze slowly wandering to the half moon. ,,I wonder if it would make a difference, even? I mean… You’re very _different_ , now, than that morning when I came back… But I… I don’t feel any _different_ , than I did that morning,’’ he tried.

,,Oh _really?_ You felt _desperate_. Desperate, because you _knew_ I wouldn’t _know_ of you anymore!’’ he said harshly. ,,You thought you could fix it _again_ , but you don’t _give much_ , you just want to _take_. You wanted all the comfort of being in my bed, but none of the troubles it could give _both of_ _us_ if you stood beside me!’’ he said, his voice raising by the minute. ,,And don’t _tell_ me you feel all soft and cuddly _now_ , because when I was treating you _well_ , you weren’t. Now that I treat you like _the dirt_ you are? Why would _that_ make you feel _attracted_ to me?’’ he asked, a tad confused, it seemed.

Seymore didn’t get a chance to answer, before Nite turned to walk away. He wanted to grab him, but he knew Nite would push him away if he did so, so instead, he fell to his knees, watching as the sorcerer curiously looked back at him.

,,Don’t go, please,’’ he begged, looking flustered up at the small man. ,,I, ahm… You’re right, about many things…’’ he tried. ,,I don’t… I don’t want you to leave, right now, Master… I… I’ve been very _bad_ … But _please_ , don’t leave,’’ he said shakenly. While Nite usually didn’t spare him for any harsh words, there were something in his tone that made him believe that if the sorcerer left now, he wouldn’t even want to continue whatever _this_ was, and he couldn’t think of any other reason to make Nite stay than _this._

,,You’re pathetic,’’ he said, smiling cruelly as he walked back to the kneeling troll. ,,And you’re _still_ desperate, for any kind of attention, aren’t you?’’ Seymore nodded, his eyes burning into the stern gaze of the sorcerer. ,,Then tell me, now you’re _this_ talkative: Haven’t I thrown you out that morning, what would you have told me?’’ he asked carefully.

Seymore froze up, opening his mouth to speak, but the words wouldn’t pass his lips. He didn’t want to say it _now_ , not like _this_. While the moment for saying it in some heartfelt, grandiose way were long gone, he didn’t want to admit to years of feelings on his knees like _this_.

,, _Well?_ ’’ he said impatiently, but Seymore just kept staring helplessly up at him. ,,I didn’t _think_ so either,’’ he sighed, letting his foot trace the troll’s knees. ,,You once told me you at least _liked_ me,’’ he said, his voice hollow. ,,That I was your _friend_ … But I sometimes wonder _just_ how good of an actor you really were…’’ he said, letting his hands down his pockets. ,,What are you _waiting_ for? You’re not down there for no reason, are you?’’

,,No, sir,’’ he said, his eyes flickering as he promptly began to open the small man’s pants. He wanted to say something, _anything_ , but when he looked up at Nite, his eyes were far from the soft one’s he knew he could reason with.

,,Open up,’’ he ordered the troll, as soon as his pants were open and his stiff cock was free. Seymore expected him to put it down his throat all at once, but instead he slapped it across the troll’s tongue and face. ,,You don’t need _me_ to do this. You just need _someone_ to do it, don’t you? Something to take the edge of whatever pain you hide inside,’’ he mumbled, finally putting the troll’s mouth to good use.

Even if Seymore had been able to answer, he probably wouldn’t. He couldn’t put into words what he felt for the sorcerer, but he felt the _need_ for him. He didn’t want Nite to be mad, and he didn’t want to cause him more pain, but he couldn’t make _up_ for the pain he had already caused him, either.

,,You’re _mine_ now, you know that, right?’’ he grunted, pulling out so the troll was able to answer. ,, _I_ own you, _right?_ Are you _finally_ ready to be loyal to _me,_ and not my mother?’’ he asked, lightly slapping the troll’s cheeks when he didn’t answer.

,, _Yes_ ,’’ he gurgled.

,,Yes _what?_ ’’ he said, slapping him a little harder.

,,Yes _Master_ ,’’ he whined, but didn’t turn away from the slaps. A delightful tingle went down his spine, just by the thought of being _owned_ by Nite. By _this_ man. Despite what the sorcerer might’ve thought, _no_ _one_ could fill this hole he had like Nite could.

,, _Good_ ,’’ he smiled. Not a cruel smile. Not even playful. He just smiled, as if it reassured himself to hear the troll speak those words. ,,You’re being really troublesome today, but I _still_ feel like spoiling you. So, tell me, troll: What do you want as your _treat?_ ’’ he asked, leaning down to meet his humbled gaze.

He was taken aback by this. What _did_ he want? _A kiss_ , but he knew he wouldn’t get that. Some kind of wearable token might have been nice, like a collar, but it reminded him too much of the broken earrings. What he wanted was just _a tad_ intimacy, but how could he get that, when Nite was as closed off as he was?

,,… A bath,’’ he finally said, looking hopeful up at the small, now confused, man.

,,A bath? You want to take a shower _now?_ ’’ he asked doubtingly.

,,No,’’ Seymore said, shaking his head. ,,I want you to _bathe_ me…’’ he said slowly. It looked like Nite contemplated his request, regretting the offer he had made, but then he finally nodded.

,,What a weird request,’’ he mumbled, gesturing him to stand again, as Nite dressed himself properly. ,,Then come with me. But it’ll be a _short_ bath,’’ he said, leading the way down the hallway.

As they walked to Nite’s somber bedroom, he felt the excitement for being able to feel the sorcerer’s hands against his skin, a little more gently than he did nowadays. He couldn’t expect Nite to bathe with him, but if he would just touch him so gently, maybe Seymore could get him in touch with something else than his sexual drive.

,,Why did you want me to _bathe_ you?’’ Nite asked as he filled the tub. The troll began to strip, watching the small man carefully.

,,… I feel like I didn’t explain it that well,’’ he said, stepping into the bath. It took a moment, before he felt Nite’s hands on his shoulders, almost jittery as he let the long fingers massage the troll.

,,Explain what? Be _specific!_ ’’ he sighed irritated.

,,Back when I told you about submission,’’ he said, feeling the sorcerer stiffen behind him. ,,I made it sound like it’s all control, didn’t I? I didn’t talk about all the reasons I so easily submitted myself to… _him._ Or to you,’’ he said quietly. ,,Submitting is not only about control or the lack thereof for me. I like to feel cared for. I _did feel_ cared for, once,’’ he said, not daring to turn to look at the small man behind him.

,,… That’s not why I do this…’’ he simply said, his hands gliding over the troll’s rough skin.

,,It’s not?’’ he asked, genuinely confused. ,,I assumed you thought that this was _simple_ and safe. Because you _know_ I like these things, but would assume I wouldn’t… get too _emotional,_ when we’re like this…’’ he said softly.

,,… That’s part of it,’’ he admitted, drenching the troll in water. He stepped away from the tub, and Seymore daringly looked to watch Nite undress, just as mesmerized as he used to be.

,,Will you tell me the rest of your reasons? Sir?’’ he asked quietly as Nite walked up to the tub, soaking himself in the water. He didn’t cuddle up to the troll, as they once had been, but sat in the other end, watching the troll, almost worriedly.

,,… It’s because it hurts to touch you,’’ he said slowly.

,,I’m sorry?’’ he said, not fully understanding what the young man meant.

,,No, you misunderstand me,’’ he sighed, closing his eyes and leaning back. ,,The mark on my head… is a pact between me and a demon of desire. The demon likes revenge. That’s why it doesn’t hurt to touch you, when I hit you or such.’’ Seymore remembered how jittery Nite’s hands _just_ had felt, the sentence finally dawning on him.

,,… I see…’’ he whispered. It suddenly seemed to explain a lot more about this cold way Nite treated him, than just the simple fact, that he wanted the troll, but didn’t know how to go about it. ,,Is that… normal?’’ he asked carefully.

,,… It’s my own fault, really,’’ he sighed. ,,I made a deal with the demon. It can’t hurt you. But demons don’t really care about such things as _loyalty_ , if it’s not towards themselves. When things are too nice or too comfortable… it’ll remind me of that,’’ he said, looking back at the troll.

,,Why didn’t you tell me?’’ he croaked, almost hiding underneath the water. ,,I wouldn’t have asked for… _this_ , had I known…’’ Nite shrugged, surprisingly reaching forward to touch the troll’s face, with no ounce of threat, just a gentle caress. And even though he hid it well, Seymore could see in the red eyes how it hurt him.

,,Because it doesn’t matter,’’ he said. ,,It’s hard to let go of things, isn’t it? We wanted different things, but… I still want _you_ … I’m not _satisfied_ with you not being _mine_ … Like this, I’m in control. That’s what you wanted, right? For me to take the lead?’’ he said curiously.

,,But I don’t want you to… hurt… Isn’t there a way to…’’ he tried, but Nite cut him off.

,,It hurt before, too,’’ he simply said. The water didn’t feel as soothing as he had hoped it to do. Now, he regretted ever asking for anything. But Nite had taken him here, even though he knew it would hurt him. ,,Tell me something, will you?’’ he asked, stretching his leg to poke the troll with his foot. ,,You once said you _liked_ me. Did you lie?’’ His voice seemed small, all of a sudden.

,,I didn’t,’’ he tried, but felt the toes tear into his own thigh.

,, _Liar_ ,’’ he sneered. ,,You could never just _tell_ me yourself. I always have to _ask_ for this! If you _really_ meant it, you wouldn’t have plotted against me _with my mother_ , when you _knew_ how I felt about her!’’ he argued, splashing the water around in the tub.

,,… You are absolutely right, sir, but can you listen to me, for just a moment?’’ he asked quietly, instantly making the small man be quiet again. ,,… I don’t believe in blind, overwhelming, teenage love, Nite. I still don’t. I don’t believe running away together were smart, and I didn’t believe that indulging you in your… _interest_ , in me, would help you in the long run,’’ he tried.

,, _You ran away yourself!_ ’’ he protested.

,,Correct. _Twice_. I ran away, because I had nowhere to go. And then I ran away again, because I feared I would have nowhere to stay. Both running away and coming back, was selfish,’’ he said calmly, making the sorcerer look suspiciously at him. He took this as an opportunity to move a little closer to the sorcerer, without touching him. ,,You’ve _always_ been right, that it was selfish of me to tell your mother about the book. But I was _so_ _scared_. I was scared that my small, curious, studious friend had stumbled across something he shouldn’t be playing with. And you _did_. _I_ could have never taken the book away from you, only she could,’’ he tried.

,,In the end, it didn’t matter. She was _careless_ with the book!’’ he said, looking intensely at the troll. ,,I _need_ this. I’m _nothing_ without this! All my life was a _farce!_ My mother’s plans for me, _is not for me!_ _How_ would I be able to _escape_ that, if not with something as _reckless_ as this?’’ he said, almost panicked.

Seymore scooted a little closer, trying not to startle the small man too much. He was as close as he could be without touching him directly, and although he wanted nothing more than to hug the human and tell him that everything would be alright, he couldn’t.

,,Then hit me,’’ the troll said, surprisingly softly for the context. Nite seemed almost _scared_ about this, and didn’t move a muscle. ,,You need comfort, _sir_ , and if I can’t _touch you_ , without you being in control or… or you _hitting_ me, then…’’ he tried, but Nite still didn’t react.

,,You don’t _get it_ ,’’ he said, shaking his head. He leaned forward, grabbing both of the troll’s shoulders, squeezing them gently. His hands shook ever so slightly, but it didn’t seem like an _unbearable_ pain. ,,I can touch you, however I like, whenever I like,’’ he said, the threat tingling in his voice. ,,I just don’t want to touch you gently.’’

But he knew that it was a lie. If Nite really wanted nothing to do with Seymore’s heart, he would not sit here, waiting so patiently for the words Seymore could never say. He wondered, if they would work like a spell? But how could it make all the pain Nite felt, fade away?

,,Stay back,’’ the sorcerer said, standing in the tub himself, water dripping down the smooth, pale skin. ,,You didn’t _finish_ your job earlier, and I think your _treat_ has been going on for long enough,’’ he smirked, tightly gripping the troll’s face closer to his soft cock.

He gently let his tongue run down the sorcerer’s member, looking beggingly up at him. He wanted to kiss and soothe the young man’s soul, but if this was what Nite could handle right now, he didn’t mind it, either. When he was like this, so stern and in control, he didn’t really remind him of the young man he had fallen for. But although his grip was tighter and his hands not nearly as playful, they still reminded him of all the caresses he had taken for granted in the past.

,,Do you only want my mouth, sir?’’ he whined, continuing to suck him as soon as the words left his lips. He longed to feel the human’s hands on his hips or against his rear, but he wasn’t sure how willing Nite would be to grant him that.

,,You ask for _quite_ a lot today,’’ he smirked, pulling away to step out of the tub. ,,Clean yourself off, then I’ll be with you in a moment,’’ he said, leaving the bathroom to get something from his room.

Waiting for Nite was unbearable. He guessed the sorcerer let him wait for it a little longer than necessary, as he sat on the floor, waiting for his Master to grace him with his presence.

,,You’re patient,’’ he smirked when he opened the door again, looking down at the eager troll. ,,It excites you _way_ too much, with these _filthy_ things I do to you,’’ he chuckled, looking down as Seymore without hesitations bending over, spreading himself impatiently. ,,Oh you’re so eager, pet. I have _another_ treat for you,’’ he purred, letting his fingers lube up the troll, much more generously than he was used to.

In the past, his former lover had rarely prepared him like this. He liked being fingered, but Seymore was a masochist at heart, not really caring too much if it hurt when he got penetrated. If anything, he liked the slight discomfort, especially because Nite wasn’t too big that it would cause problems to do so. But being fingered by the small human was much more overwhelming than it had ever been before, and he didn’t mind that he played around or took his sweet time with his ass.

,,I-I’m _more_ than ready, sir…’’ he panted, his cock pulsating against the bathroom floor. ,, _Please, just fuck me…_ ’’ he growled, drooling onto himself. Nite stopped mid motion, almost as if he _processed_ the words he shouldn’t understand, before he slowly retreated his fingers, chuckling slightly behind the big troll.

,,Oh I think you are,’’ he cooed, shuffling behind Seymore, who still looked down at the floor. ,,But your treat isn’t _me_ , my pet. I have something _different_ for you today,’’ he smirked, placing something warm behind him.

,,W-what is that?’’ he panted, feeling Nite press it further against him, until it, gently as it could, slipped inside, stretching him further than he had ever been. Seymore whimpered, feeling his knees shake as he let his chest rest on the floor, too overwhelmed by whatever he had inside him.

,,It’s a dildo,’’ he said bluntly, pushing it further inside. This must have been why he had lubed him up this well, otherwise it wouldn’t have been able to get inside at all. ,,It’s modeled after a _real_ troll,’’ he chuckled, apparently feeling very pleased with himself. ,,You say you have _never_ taken anything your own size, but this goes in _so_ smoothly. What a good, little buttslut you are,’’ he panted, pleasing himself at the sight of the troll.

,,H-how have y-you even gotten a _troll dildo?!_ ’’ he whined, feeling stretched to the brim as Nite kept going deeper. The human sat behind him, fucking him with the giant toy rather gently, taking in consideration how lowly he had spoken to him before.

,,You’re not very _proper_ right now, _troll_. But I think this is enough punishment for you, spanking you _now_ would _almost_ be cruel,’’ he teased, almost pulling it out, before he slowly pushed it back inside.

,, _T-too fast… By the stars, this is_ so _… overwhelming… I wanna come… Make me come, you cruel, little man…_ ’’ he growled drunkenly, feeling the sorcerer slow down, just the slightest, but he didn’t stop.

,,Just _look_ how _dirty_ you make my floor,’’ he purred, grabbing the troll’s cock. ,,What a _good_ little troll you are, taking this _big thing_ so _nicely_ ,’’ he smirked, jerking the troll as he kept fucking him with the toy. ,,You’re gonna be a good boy for me, right? You’re gonna make a mess of yourself, right? You’re gonna _come_ with this big thing inside? What a dirty, little _slut_ you are,’’ he panted, his grip around the troll’s cock way too tight.

,, _Yes, please let me come_ …’’ he growled, whining as he felt the dildo hit _just_ right a last time, before he let the orgasm overflow him, coming hard onto the floor, moaning painfully as he did so. ,, _I am such a filthy troll_ …’’ he growled, letting himself fall down into his pool of cum, his cock still pulsating and spilling his seed, when Nite gently removed the dildo, placing it somewhere else.

,, _Good_ boy,’’ he smirked, moving to sit in front of the troll’s face. ,,What’s the matter, _troll?_ You’re not too tired to help your _Master_ , now, are you?’’ he smiled, rather forcefully grabbing the troll’s head to put his dick back into his warm mouth. Seymore felt tired and numb, but happy in some sense. When he looked at Nite, he didn’t want to stop pleasing him. He would _never_ want to stop pleasing him. ,,It shouldn’t take long with your skilled mouth, now, should it?’’ he purred, fucking the troll’s mouth mercilessly.

It took him a minute before he began helping with flicking his tongue against the hard member, gurgling when Nite forced himself as far into the troll’s mouth as he could. He felt flustered and tingly at the way Nite looked at him, almost _possessively_. He wanted to _come_ on the troll, he could feel it just by looking at those big, deep-set eyes. They didn’t feel threatening, anymore. If anything, despite the color, he could glimpse a ray of the same passion as the sorcerer had had all these years ago.

He didn’t warn him as he came, filling the troll’s mouth, making _sure_ he looked up at him, keeping their gazes locked as he orgasmed. Seymore made sure to clean him, swallowing hungrily as Nite’s breath steadied and his grip loosened.

,,Good boy,’’ he panted, tickling the troll’s chin with gentle fingers, as he pulled out of his mouth. ,,You can excuse yourself, troll. I’ll clean up your _mess_ on my floor,’’ he smirked, standing up as he began to gather the troll’s stuff. Seymore wiped himself off quickly, dressed himself and were about to take his leave, when he daringly looked back at the small man, who seemingly tried not to pay too much attention to him.

,,… Excuse me, sir, but I have a question,’’ he said gently. Nite didn’t turn around, as he kept fiddling with the bath tub.

,,What is it?’’ he asked impatiently.

,,… Why did you stop using my name?’’ he asked gently. ,,Does that hurt, too?’’ Nite finally turned around, looking the troll up and down, before he shook his head.

,,No. I just don’t want to,’’ he said simply. ,,It’s funny, really. I don’t _force_ you to come back. You’re _here_ quiet willingly. You were back then, too. Still, you always seemed to look for an excuse to _leave_ , but you can’t. Do you feel guilty? Do you feel dependent on me? _Ashamed,_ maybe? I don’t know. You _still_ won’t tell me,’’ he said, smacking his lips. ,,I don’t use your name, because I don’t need to. It seems I only need to keep you _wondering_ why I do, the things that I do. Had I known that in the past, maybe things had been a little easier for me,’’ he said spiteful.

,,… Yes, sir…’’ he said, nodding as he began to leave.

,,You _know_ you don’t _need_ to come back, right?’’ he yelled after the troll, making him stop in the doorway. ,,I’m not _throwing_ you out if you don’t _submit_ to me. You _know_ that, right?’’ he asked.

,,… Of course, sir,’’ the troll said, smiling as he turned to look at the small human. ,,With all due respect. I am not your servant. I am here, because you are… my purpose.’’ The red eyes flickered for a moment, but he didn’t answer him.

How long would it take for Nite to grow impatient? Hopefully not longer than it would take Seymore to gather his courage, to speak with his heart. But when he would do so, he wanted to do it loud and clear, no whispers, no denying, no false promises…

Just love.


	17. 17) Break me down

Seymore clung to the hope that he, at some point, by some miracle, would be able to experience the man Nite once had been. But the half moon seemed to have other plans for him, as the leaves turned and seasons changed yet again. The sorcerer kept studying for days on end, but when he was starved for touch and social contact, he would find Seymore and do as he pleased with him.

The troll knew he could stop it all. If he didn’t want to get spanked, or if he couldn’t handle what Nite could give of himself, he could _always_ leave. He could reject even showing up. But for the most part, Seymore didn’t mind that Nite was hard or distant. Behind all the whips and bruises and pain, he also felt the cold, trembling hands, gently admiring the marks he made on the troll’s body.

In contrast to the scars on his face, he didn’t mind the marks on his body. It had seemed to startle Nite, even in his newfound, power-hungry state, that he had made the troll bleed, but Seymore didn’t want to be healed, and thus, his shoulder was scarred. He didn’t feel any shame or regret about it when he looked in the mirror. If anything, it was a very visible sign of their relation to each other.

He didn’t think of it as abuse. It didn’t _feel_ like he was getting abused. Seymore had felt like that before, but not with Nite, and not because of the marks on his body.

Trolls marked each other, with partners they formed life-long pairs with. And while he had never told Nite that, he liked to think that his Master somewhat knew of this.

With time, he gained more marks. Nite always tried to heal him, but Seymore always refused, as if he collected some strange kind of love-marks. His back was striped with dull, white marks, as was his arms, his shoulders and even his chest. If he ever took time to himself, he enjoyed letting his big hands run over these marks, making him feel connected to the small man he loved so dearly, even when he wasn’t there.

He would have loved Nite to mark him, even if it wasn’t some strange thing the half moon probably made him do. It would be harder to explain to the Madam when she came home, but he would figure something out, he told himself. He _was_ a very clumsy troll, after all.

It didn’t make him feel any different about the scars on his face. He had guessed he would maybe be less critical about them, knowing that Nite somewhat _liked_ the scars, just not the circumstances by how the troll had gained them, but no. They held no traces of any kind of affection for him, only the frustration the boy had felt back then.

Every time Willa wrote to her son, it seemed to spark his anger anew. Either he would shut himself in, cursing and screaming, making noise at all hours of the day, or he would tie the troll up, getting his frustrations out like that. He hadn’t seen him react like this in years, and he expected the half moon to spark his anger with new flames.

While Nite was rough, and he knew he probably shouldn’t allow the sorcerer to take his anger out on him like this, he never felt any fear. He had learned the first time Nite had roped him up, that he rather easily could escape just by tearing the rope. If the sorcerer had done it on purpose or by mistake, he didn’t know, but he never felt in danger when Nite started playing all sorts of games with him, and Nite kept tying him up the same way. In any case, he preferred this over the human locking himself in his study chamber for days on end, even if he himself would be sore the day after.

He didn’t know exactly what upset him so much about his mother’s letters. He had never said much about them, neither this time around or in the past, when Seymore daringly had tried to ask him. Regardless of the letters’ content, Nite _never_ felt calmer after he had read them, often times setting them on fire at the breakfast table.

And right now, Nite was _indeed_ in a terrible mood, as he had not only torn his letter up, but also broken his plate, making the dining area a mess. When Seymore tried to calm him down, the sorcerer left the room, _demanding_ the troll to either fix up his mess or be in the study room in a moment, and while Seymore knew he _at some point_ had to clean the mess regardless, he didn’t hesitate to grab a quick shower before he headed towards the study chamber.

Nite was like a drug to him. He wondered if he had been like that, back then, too? The human’s touches had been _so_ much softer, but he still longed to be near Nite, at any given moment, _even_ if it meant plentiful of spankings and marks on his back.

He slowly opened the door. Nite was already halfway undressed; his shirt was on his desk, but he still wore his black, firmly pressed pants, as his gaze lazily wandered to catch the sight of the troll, stepping eagerly into the room before he kneeled.

The sorcerer walked closer to the kneeling man, his steps long and calculated. His fingertips greeted the troll’s face, and Seymore could already feel his body prepare itself on every ounce of pleasure and pain he would get in a moment. To his surprise, Nite kept stroking his face, his red eyes surprisingly glossy.

,,… Is everything okay, Master?’’ Seymore asked softly, expecting the hand to strike him, but it didn’t. After Nite had returned and had gotten his dark mark, he had never seen him like this, and the familiar want to reach up and comfort him was hard to let go of.

,,No,’’ he whispered, but he pushed the troll down on his knees again when he tried to stand. ,,That’s none of your concern, _troll_. I’m just wondering how to ruin that pretty face of yours today,’’ he said, much less chipper than he usually was.

,,… If there’s anything wrong, I want to help, sir. In any way I can,’’ he tried, looking beggingly up at the small man. ,,I… am aware, that you don’t want me to… comfort you, like I tried to do in the past… but…’’

,,You’re right, I don’t want that,’’ he said coldly, finally letting go of the troll’s face. It didn’t surprise him that much when Nite manifested ropes out of thin air, pulling in them warningly. ,, _Stand_ ,’’ he demanded, and Seymore reacted in an instant.

Ropes could be kinky, Seymore had thought, when Nite started with tying him up. But for Nite, ropes were an _artform_. As soon as the troll would strip, the sorcerer would bind him all sorts of ways, both for the purpose of fixation, but mostly as something aesthetically. He let the ropes caress and highlight the parts of the troll’s broad body that he fancied the most, always making sure he had easy access to his back and his ass.

,,Bend over,’’ he demanded, spreading the troll out, making sure he stayed like that. Seymore could feel one of the sorcerer’s hands circling his asshole, as the other tied up his dick, making his stiff cock even more impatient. ,,It’s always such a hassle with you,’’ he sighed, putting his finger in without further notice.

,,Yes, Master. I’m sorry, Master,’’ Seymore panted, already wishing to feel Nite’s cock inside of him. He rarely fucked him, even though he tended to play with the troll for _hours_ on end, but rarely would he feel the closeness he longed for. He seemed to prefer to just come on him, either by his own hand, which was much more skilled now, or by the troll’s warm mouth.

,,You don’t seem to fear magic that much, anymore,’’ he said satisfied, walking around to look down at the troll instead of stretching his clenching hole. It was true that Seymore was rather used to Nite manifesting things out of thin air, but he wouldn’t say he was particular _happy_ about magic, either. In the end, it seemed like his submissive state was stronger than his born fear for magic. ,,You’re such a _weird_ troll, aren’t you?’’ he asked, almost wondering, kneeling to look into the confused, amber eyes.

,,Yes, sir,’’ he said, longing to feel _any_ kind of stimulation.

,,You don’t even _fear_ me, do you? You _should_ , you don’t _know_ what I could do to you,’’ he smiled threateningly.

,,No, sir,’’ he said gently, sitting up on his knees to the best of his abilities. Nite didn’t look threatening to him. Even if the eyes were red, he still felt safe in their company. ,,I _respect_ you, sir, I don’t fear you.’’ Nite chuckled, _laughed_ , a harsh, cold sound, surprising the troll, as the human stood upright again.

,, _Really?_ I have a hard time believing that,’’ he said. Seymore felt a slight _tuck_ in his whole body, and he squirmed panicked as his being moved across the floor, without himself even moving a muscle. His startlement didn’t settle when he looked up at Nite, who clearly had been the one _tucking_ _his strings_. ,,You don’t _get it_ , old man, do you? I can do _whatever_ _I want with you_ , when you’re like this. You _allow_ me to, _encourage_ me to. Why is that? Do you really _need_ to be punished, so badly?’’ he asked, tugging the troll even closer.

,,Can you… _please_ stop doing that, _sir?_ ’’ he whimpered, as he felt the human tug in him, _drag_ him across the floor.

,,Why?’’ he asked, almost as if he was bored. ,,I thought we were _over_ that stuff, with you _whining_ about such things as _magic?_ ’’ he teased, but stopped regardless. ,,I don’t need _magic_ to toss you around. It’ll just be more _comfortable_ like that,’’ he scoffed, walking the few steps between them, dragging him in the ropes instead.

,,I know, I’m sorry, sir, I just…’’ he tried, but stopped when the small man dropped him not far from the throne.

,,You _bore_ me, troll. If you don’t want me to drag you around with my magic, you can wiggly your way to me _yourself_ ,’’ he smirked, sitting down on his throne.

The ropes didn’t leave much space for movement. He did his best, but with his hands tied on his back, and his knees roped together, it wasn’t his most graceful process. He ended up just in front of the throne, his head in front of the small man’s feet, still covered by his shoes.

,,Are you giving up? Asking for help? Is _magic_ really the worst way to be transported?’’ Nite smirked, tracing the troll’s jawline with the tip of his shoe.

,,The ropes are a little _tight_ , sir,’’ he croaked, feeling his cock ache just by the way the sorcerer _looked_ at him.

,,I _know_ , I _made them_ that way,’’ he smirked. ,,You’re such an _eager_ little slut. _Love that_ ,’’ he said satisfied, snapping his fingers to make the ropes vanish into thin air. Seymore stroked his body, to loosen up after being tied up so tightly. ,,I can’t have you unable to _please_ me, even _if_ I adore tying you up. It’s harder for you to escape like that,’’ he cooed, guiding him further with his hand. ,,Undress me, troll.’’

With careful, skilled hand, he removed the sorcerer’s shoes and socks, still on his knees with his gazed fixed to the man above him. Even though Nite was as harsh and tormenting as he tended to be, there were something soft in his eyes, which made the troll a little bolder and warmer inside. He stood up, so close to the sorcerer’s face that it would be all to easily to lean forward to kiss him, but he just continued, wondering if he would ever get a chance to taste those thin, fragile lips again.

As he admired the pale, exposed chest of the man in front of him, Seymore found himself dwelling deeper into the past, remembering the soft skin against his lips. He barely registered what he did when he leaned forward, kissing the small man’s chest, first letting his tongue brush against the collarbone, before he sought out the suddenly hardened nipples.

,, _What do you think you’re doing?!_ ’’ Nite shrieked, no trace of his former self-control as he both blushed and whined, scooting in the seat of the throne. ,,Did I give you _permission_ to do this?’’ he asked harshly, as the gentle, amber eyes looked up at him.

,,No, sir,’’ he said quietly, but continued to kiss the small man’s chest, gently brushing the pale skin with his warm lips. ,,Pardon me, Master. I was simply overwhelmed by how enchanting you look tonight,’’ he smiled shyly, his hands rather gently holding around the small man’s hips. Nite looked down at the troll, his gaze confused and quivering, as if he wondered if this was a trick. It really did look like that he hoped it _wasn’t_ just a trick.

,,Get your hands off me,’’ he said, more nervous than harshly. Seymore remembered that it probably hurt Nite, even if it was hard to tell with all his squirming.

,,Off course, sir,’’ he said, retrieving his hands to place them obediently behind his back. ,,Can I continue with this?’’ he asked, looking gently up at the sorcerer as he let his lips caress his naked chest. The small man panted, nodding slightly, never taking his gaze away from the troll.

,,You may…’’ he said, breathing heavily as the troll continued teasing the nipples, his hands firmly on his back. His lips and tongue played with the small, firm nipples, as he hadn’t done in a long time, just savoring the moment, for a while. He let his lips wander further down, kissing the flat stomach, tryingly pulling in the pants seam with his teeth. ,,Open them,’’ he said, trying to regain the dominant tone in his voice, but he didn’t feel as secure in this as he normally did.

Seymore opened the pants, pulling them down just enough to reveal the sorcerer’s leaking member. He seemed much more turned on, losing his control over the situation by the minute, even if he refused to let go of it. Seymore loved that he still could make him feel like this, even after all this time.

The amber eyes never left the half-lidded gaze of the sorcerer, as he gently licked and sucked the man, much more teasingly than anything. Nite normally guided his head, and that didn’t leave much space to tickle or explore his body, as he used to do in the past. But the young man was taken aback by the whole situation, it seemed, as he only observed the troll and didn’t lay a hand on him otherwise.

Seymore wasn’t unsatisfied with how things were, sexually, between them. He could easily do this, be at the mercy of the small man, be his submissive if he so desired, but he longed to feel just the slightest inch of that love Nite so graciously had given him in the past.

Would he accept it, if he told him now, that he loved him? Seymore doubted it, even if Nite so tentatively watched over him. He wondered what went through his head, if he were slipping up in this safe, simple role he played, or if he just observed, ready to strike when the troll got too comfortable?

,,You’re _unusually_ brave tonight, aren’t you, troll?’’ he said, slowly letting his long fingers grace the troll’s bald head. Seymore nodded, his tongue still wrapped around the human’s cock, but his eyes burning into the red orbs above him. ,,Very _well_. If _this_ is the games you’ll play, I’ll _let you_. You don’t fear things won’t be as _simple_ , as you wanted them to be?’’ he mused, gently thrusting towards the troll’s open mouth.

,,No, sir,’’ he said between slurps, his hands still on his back. An overwhelming urge to finger Nite, as he used to, ran over him, but it only made him tighten his hold in his arms on his back even more.

,,I thought you _wanted_ it simple? And now you’re being all _greedy_ again, aren’t you?’’ he smiled.

,,I think,’’ he said, slowly reaching further up, kissing the small man’s stomach again, ,,that this _is_ very simple, sir. I believe you _always_ made things very simple,’’ he said gently. A strange sound left the human’s throat, and Seymore wondered if it hurt him that he kissed him this gently, but Nite didn’t signal him to stop. His eyes were glossy again for a moment, before they shifted and he seemed furious yet again.

,,You’re _quite_ talkative tonight, aren’t you?’’ he sneered, gesturing for the troll to stand, before he tugged the broad body forward again, not with his magic, but simply grabbing the troll’s cock and guiding him onto the throne, his knees placed on the armrests. ,, _This_ doesn’t really looks like it wants to talk, now, does it? Tell me, _troll_ , what you want me to do with you?’’ he asked seductively, spreading his lips and licking the tip of the big, throbbing cock in front of his face.

Seymore could barely think straight when he felt the hot breath against his skin. He knew Nite wouldn’t be satisfied with an answer like _‘whatever pleases you, sir’_ , but in the moment, he could do just about anything to the troll, and he would gladly welcome it.

,, _Well?_ ’’ he said impatiently, still lazily licking the dripping tip. ,,You know, _pet_. I could give you just about _anything_ , and _still_ , you refuse to ask the _simplest_ of requests. Why is that?’’ he wondered, finally wrapping his lips around the big cock, sucking him firmly as the red eyes held the troll’s gaze at him.

Seymore unwillingly pushed against the sorcerer’s mouth, already feeling overwhelmed and emotional. Although Nite’s words probably was referring to sexual promises, there were so much more emotion behind the words.

,,Why _is_ that?’’ he asked again, impatiently, but Seymore just whimpered as his response. ,,Stupid troll. Don’t start games you can’t finish,’’ he barked, gesturing him down from the throne again. Seymore stood beside the throne, covering himself to the best of his abilities as the sorcerer got up to stretch his own body. ,,Don’t bother to _hide_ it, you can’t, anyway,’’ he smirked, letting his pants drop to the floor, before he kicked them away. ,,Lay down. Don’t be shy with me. Even if you _refuse_ to speak, like the _disobedient_ troll you are, I know _exactly_ what you want from me,’’ he mused, stroking himself slightly as Seymore laid down on his back in the throne.

Nite didn’t seem to want to play any games today. He spat on his fingers, gently massaging the troll’s already clenching ass, as his green cock impatiently ached against his stomach. If anything, it seemed to amuse Nite _just_ how willing Seymore was, in any given situation, just by the slightest promise of release.

Seymore whimpered when the fingers left him, hoping he would feel the human inside him now, but it wasn’t Nite’s cock he felt against his hole, it was his persistent tongue, that gently sucked and slurped to please him. While Nite was more skilled with his hands, his tongue was generous in lubing him up, he thought thankfully. The sorcerer rarely used lube with him, despite when they used toys, and as Nite wasn’t bigger than he was, it didn’t bother the troll, as it had done when he hadn’t been able to lube up the sorcerer in the past.

,,Tell me, troll,’’ Nite said, standing up and finally positioning himself against the troll’s ass, grinding against the slick entrance. ,,Were you always this _eager?_ Or will you tell me I’m something _special?_ ’’ he said, slapping his cock against the waiting hole.

,,You’re special, Master,’’ he whined, looking down his own body, spreading himself further, hoping to feel some closeness soon.

,,Is that so? So you weren’t _as_ willing with other men? I find that hard to believe,’’ he teased, finally thrusting inside, all of his cock at once. The troll whined happily, mindlessly thanking his Master for using him like this. ,,I think you still, despite what you might think yourself, just want to rub yourself off against me,’’ he said, his voice a little sharper.

,,… I’m very eager to please…’’ he panted, truthfully looking up at Nite. ,,That does _not_ make you any less special, _sir_.’’ He felt the human’s hand grab around his neck, guiding their faces a little closer together.

,,I’m nothing special, I never was,’’ he said coldly. ,,I wonder if _this_ is how I should have done it?’’ he said, his voice suddenly soft and melodic. ,,If I should have just _taken_ what I wanted. If I should have done as everyone else. What good does it do, if I’m willing to do everything everyone else _wouldn’t_ , if you just miss being pushed around like this?’’ he wondered, speeding up as he spoke.

Seymore tried not to interrupt when Nite spoke in this soft, fragile voice. Before he didn’t do so, as it gave him some sort of insight in the man he tried to get to know. And now, he just appreciated to see a little of the man, he _had_ gotten to know.

,,You’re so _silly_ ,’’ he said, leaning his forehead against the troll’s, startling the older man. The half moon felt warm against his skin, but he didn’t pull away. Nite closed his eyes, as he firmly grabbed around the troll, jacking him off as he continued to fuck him. ,,If this was what you _really_ wanted, I would have _given_ it to you. Would it even have mattered? Would you have liked me better, then, if I had done so?’’ he wondered, apparently still mostly talking to himself.

,,… _I liked you back then, too_ …’’ he growled quietly, _softly_ , as Nite’s grip got tighter. Nite stopped in what felt like an eternity, but most likely just was a second, before he smiled this weird, pained smile, Seymore had rarely seen before.

,,But it doesn’t really matter now, does it?’’ he whispered, still with his eyes closed tightly. ,,All I want to do is make you _beg_.’’

Seymore wasn’t really sure if Nite himself registered that he spoke, but the troll tryingly grabbed around the small man’s shoulder’s, making him look down at him again. He didn’t look pleased, but he didn’t stop fucking him, either.

,, _What_ do you think you’re doing? You’re _awfully_ handsy today,’’ he scoffed, grabbing the troll’s ear with his other hand.

,,… I-I’m sorry, _sir_ … I’m just… I’m a very _needy_ troll…’’ he whined slowly. ,,… I… I want… I _need_ your hands on me… I need _you_ to be rough with me… I-I… O-only you, I only want you…’’ he whimpered, his grip getting a little tighter on the human’s shoulders. ,, _I want you to make love to me… But I also want you to fuck my brains out…_ ’’ he growled, closing his eyes, when the red ones burned too deeply into his amber ones.

,,Is _that_ so?’’ he said amused, fucking him a little rougher. He was still so very close, that every breath hit the troll like a hurricane, every sound rung in his ears. ,,You’re being very _talkative_ right now. I _like_ that. I bet I could get you to say just about _anything_ with the right treat, couldn’t I?’’ he smirked, leaning more of his thin body against the troll.

,,Y-yes sir, _anything_ you want…’’ he moaned, brushing his face against Nite’s. Every time he would do such things, the sorcerer would stop up, but only briefly, before he continued to fuck the troll’s ass even harder, moving his hand even faster.

,,Then tell me, troll… Tell me _all_ the things you can’t…’’ he said softly, _threateningly_ softly, stopping in his motions when Seymore didn’t react. ,,Come on,’’ he smirked. ,,I thought you would say _anything_ to please your _Master?_ Afraid to speak lies?’’ he said, sickeningly sweet.

,,No, sir, but, ah-… I-it’s a little hard to _focus_ , right now, I’m… I’m very… _close_ …’’ he panted, as Nite’s hand continued to please him.

,,Oh, is that so? I can _fix_ that, if it _distracts_ you,’’ he purred, moving his hand to the tip of the leaking member. At first, Seymore thought he would make short process with him, making him come much before he intended to, but then he felt something, warm, soothing and sealing around his cock. When he looked down upon his body, something dark and warmly pulsating was around his cock, obviously magic, but what it was for, was unknown to him.

,,W-what is that?’’ he panted, not really fearful, just sensitive as Nite began to move again, as fast and rough as he seemed to get.

,,It’s a _seal_. A _cage_ , if you will. You’ll not be able to come with it on, and I’ll not take it off before you’re being a _good, honest troll,_ ’’ he panted, fucking him in short, deep thrust that send delightful shivers down his spine. Maybe he wasn’t able to come, but his body was more than able to feel good, it seemed.

With every thrust, he felt his long legs shake, his mouth unable to do anything besides whimpering and moaning. He tried, mumbling incohesive sentences, but Nite would just slam himself into the troll, making him start all over.

,,What? I can’t hear you? Cat got your tongue?’’ he smirked, his own breath unsteady and shallow. Seymore felt the long, cold fingers on his hips, grabbing the troll and holding him in place, as he chanted about the messy state of the troll.

,, _Fuck,_ ’’ he growled, feeling his head spin. ,, _Just… Speak up… Just… Will you hate me, for being this late…_ ’’ he growled, feeling tears dwell up in his eyes.

Nite’s hands snuck behind the troll’s neck, the small man almost lying flat down against the bumpy body of the older man. To his surprise, he felt the human’s face brush as gently against his own, as he had done just minutes prior to this. When he opened his eyes, Nite’s eyes weren’t hard. No mockery or disgust where to find in them. If anything, they were sad.

,,You already know, don’t you?’’ the troll mumbled, feeling his whole body heat up unbearable. ,,You always _did_ know me very well. Sometimes, better than myself,’’ he whimpered, feeling Nite’s body tense, but he didn’t let go of the troll’s gaze. ,,… The earrings didn’t lie. Magic doesn’t lie, as trolls tend to do…’’ he said as softly as he could, when being pounded this hard.

In one, fluent motion, Nite removed the seal from the troll’s cock, jacked him off with a precession only he could, and let himself come inside the older man, continuing to fuck him until the troll grunted out his own orgasm. His body felt sore in a strange way, but all pain melted away when he looked up at the tired, red eyes of the sorcerer, he more than anything wanted to lean up to kiss. Nite didn’t pull out, he simply just laid on top of the troll, his own body seemingly sore and tired beyond what was normal for him, but Seymore happily let him lie here, longing for this kind of touch.

,,Are you… okay?’’ Seymore said quietly, when Nite didn’t move. The small man lifted his upper body, so he could look at the troll again, but when he did, Seymore felt a jolt of chock run through him. It didn’t seem like Nite noticed himself, but heavy tears rolled down his cheeks, down his chin and further down on the troll’s chest, all while these big, sad eyes just observed the man beneath him.

,,I _hate_ that,’’ he said, his voice quivering and fragile, not upholding any dominance or power, anymore. ,,I _hate_ that you can’t even _say it clearly_ , and yet, you _still_ consider it… to be… the case…’’ he panted, wiping his face from sweat and tears. Seymore felt his throat tighten, but he didn’t dare to move a muscle. ,,And even after _all this time_ … And even after _all what I do to you_ … Why can’t I just _hate you? It would be so much easier to just hate you,_ ’’ he whimpered, the tears falling more frequently now.

With his gentle, big hands, Seymore reached up to cup both of Nite’s cheeks, making the flushed man look down at him again, his red eyes big and scared. The troll leaned up, placing his forehead against the human’s, his heart pounding so violently he almost thought he would faint.

,,… And you should. You have every right to do so, Nite. But if you would never touch me again, never even _look_ at me… I would still love you…’’ he said quietly, listening to the gentle sobs of the man in front of him. ,,It has taken me a very long time… Not a long time to _love you_ , not even a long time _realizing_ … But it has taken me all but too long to say it…’’ he said, leaning against the sorcerer’s face, brushing their faces against each other. He didn’t kiss him, but just the sensation of the damp, warm skin against his, made him long for it even more. ,,I _love_ you,’’ he whispered against the pale lips.

Nite’s lips were soft an insecure, when the small man leaned forward. Seymore didn’t even have time to react, before the sorcerer kissed him again, hard and needy, before he went slower, almost _begging_ him not to let go of those lips. He could feel the sorcerer’s body shake, but he didn’t let go of him, and he kept kissing him, as if he would never do anything else again.

,, _I love you_ ,’’ Seymore whispered again, as if repeating the words made them any truer. ,,I love you _so much_. I’m sorry, I’m _so sorry_ that I didn’t say… That I _never_ told you, I’m sorry for being a coward, I’m so _sorry_ , Nite…’’ he chanted in between kisses.

,,You say that now,’’ Nite tried, but couldn’t pull away from the troll for too long, ,,but the _moment_ she comes home, you’ll pretend like _nothing_ is going on. You’re going to _sell me_ for just _a little more time_ ,’’ he sobbed against the green lips. ,,If not I _mess it all up_ , with some… _weird, magic stuff, I just can’t let go of…_ _I’m_ sorry, I _know_ I hurt you too… I was too stubborn and proud, too curious… It’s not… It’s not _all_ you…’’ he sobbed, hiding his face in the crook of the troll’s neck. Although his uncomfortable position, still half-laying in the throne, he just held the shivering man in his arms, cuddling him gently. All the softness he had longed for was in an arm’s reach, he _just_ had to reach out now.

,,… I’ll tell her,’’ he said quietly. ,,I’ll write to her, or I’ll be by your side, if you so wish, if you’ll tell her yourself. I… I wasn’t ready back then… I’m sorry, that I kept you waiting, all this time… But I am… I am ready now, if you’ll let me,’’ he said, kissing the small man’s cheek.

,,… Do you mean that?’’ he asked, pulling away to look at the troll’s big, uncertain eyes. Seymore nodded, smiled and held around the small man again, pushing them as close as he possibly could.

,,Yes. I should have done so, back then, too. I… I was too scared… of everything… Of your mother, of the consequences for _both of us_ , but… I was scared about feeling this way, too…’’ he said gently, wiping the human’s tears away. ,,When I went away that night… I came back, because I wanted to… I wanted to do _this_ , and do it _right_ , but… I still couldn’t…’’ he said, painfully remembering the ring placed in his hand. ,,The ring threw me off. That’s not your fault, I understand why you were… Why you _are_ mad at me… I always tried to act like an adult, _insisting_ that my troll age had nothing to do with my immaturity, but… I wasn’t acting like an adult…’’ he admitted.

,,… I thought you acted out of fear… About everything. About telling my mother about the book, about trying to get back together… And I’m… I am still _angry_ with you, for that, but… I _know_ I didn’t make it easy for you, either, but I just wanted you _so much_ ,’’ he said longingly, kissing the troll again. ,,I thought, that this… This was _simple enough,_ that I wouldn’t dwell _too far_ into the past, with you, but that I could still _touch you_ , like this, but… When you looked at me, you looked _more_ in love than you _ever_ did back then, and it… It makes me _so angry_ …’’ he said, still sniffling slightly.

,,I didn’t fall for you because you _hit me_ or because you’re more dominant, Nite,’’ he said gently, making the sorcerer look at him again. ,,I… I always suspected that you chose _this way_ of connecting with me, because it… _on the outside_ , at least, _seemed_ to distance us, emotionally… But you only did things you _knew_ I liked… You always stopped, if you were in any doubt about how I felt in a given situation…’’ he said, lifting the small man slightly to place himself more upright in the throne. ,,I don’t love you more _now_ than _before_ because you pulled back your emotions. I _longed_ for this ever since I left your room that morning,’’ he said truthfully.

,,But I’m a different man now… _Everything_ about this is _different_ …’’ he said, his voice shrill.

,,Behind those red eyes, and all the pain and anger, I still _see_ the man I fell in love with,’’ he said, gently kissing Nite’s forehead. ,,I feel… _guilty_ , that you have this… But this is part of who you are… No spirit can change who you are, and no spirit has… If anything, you could have been as harsh and pained even _without_ this,’’ he said, gently touching the mark on the sorcerer’s forehead. It felt warm, not like skin, but he didn’t pull away, even if his heart raced so intensely. ,,And things will never be, as they once were. That’s a matter of _time_. I can’t deny… that we both hurt, pretty badly… But I can only _hope_ you’ll give me a chance, to change that.’’

,,But I… I don’t _understand_ how you…’’ he said, sobbing again. ,,I feel so _lost_ … I feel so _broken_ … I did… I did _this_ , to have some purpose, to _regain_ my purpose, but I feel so… _useless_ …’’ he admitted, touching the half moon on his forehead. ,,I’ll go outside, and I’ll be arrested in a heartbeat…’’

,,… Why?’’ Seymore asked, suddenly concerned. ,,You… haven’t _done_ anything, have you? I mean… I _know_ black magic is forbidden, but…’’ he asked slowly.

,,You don’t understand…’’ he said shakenly. ,,It’s _illegal_ to have black magic… Even if I haven’t _used_ _it_ , it still amplifies _everything_ I am and can do…’’ he said. Nite’s skin felt chilly, but Seymore just held him tighter.

,,… That book… Where everyone is written down… Can that trace black magic?’’ he asked.

,,No. Black magic isn’t traceable, like that. Demons are very powerful,’’ he said quietly. ,,But it’s on my _forehead_ , Seymore. It wasn’t supposed to be _there!_ ’’ he said anxiously. The troll flinched at the sound of his own name, a welcomed sound, he had missed. ,,You act like you don’t even think it’s a _big deal_ , but you were scared of even _healing_ back then!’’ he whined.

,,It is a big deal,’’ he said calmly. ,,And… I _am_ scared. But not scared enough, to scare me away… This was something you would have wanted, regardless of us… And I… I want every part of you, Nite. _Also_ the parts I don’t understand, or the parts I don’t always feel comfortable with, because… even if I’m scared of magic… I’m not scared of you… Not then, not now…’’

Seymore kissed him again, slowly and dearly, holding him tightly in his embrace. Nite’s slender body felt like nothing on his lap, but the small man himself clung to the troll, whimpered and sobbed against the green lips, but didn’t let go of them. He kissed him, as if he tried to catch up with almost 2 years without it.

,,Do you still want me?’’ Seymore asked gently, when Nite finally let go, curling into his embrace. He nodded, clinging to the troll’s chest.

,,Of course I want you!’’ he croaked, his voice fragile and cracking. ,,I’ve wanted that for _so long_ , but I’m… I’m _scared_ , that you only want this, because you want to make up for how things were before…’’ he said. It hurt him that Nite thought so. He understood why, but now it finally hit him, how much he had wronged him and screwed with his perception of himself; the one thing he had wanted to avoid.

,,… Can I make a suggestion?’’ he asked, feeling how cold and shivering Nite was in his embrace. ,,Can we have this conversation in the bathtub? You’re really cold, and I don’t want you to get sick,’’ he said gently. Nite nodded and was about to crawl down from the troll, when Seymore stood up with the man in his arms. ,,Do you mind if I carry you?’’ he smiled, cradling the small human.

,,… No… Ahm, not if it doesn’t bother you…’’ he said, his cheeks heating slightly.

,,It doesn’t. Not the slightest,’’ he assured him. ,,If anything… I’ve missed this very much,’’ he said, kissing the small man before he began to walk down the hallway. He would have to gather their clothes later, but it wasn’t important right now. If anything, he just wanted Nite to heat up, and hopefully, for the first time in what felt like forever, he would be able to sleep beside the small man, he cared so deeply for.

Nite didn’t say anything as they walked through the hallway. He wanted to start the conversation himself, but he suddenly felt a loss of words. He had always known that things wouldn’t be easier, just because they liked each other, if anything, it still made things more complicated. But if Nite would believe him, that Seymore wanted it all, all the complications, everything Nite had become, and that he wanted to do everything he could to heal his past mistakes, maybe it didn’t really matter how complicated it would be, then.

,,You can put me down now,’’ he said as they entered his room. Seymore stood by, waiting patiently for the tub to fill, as his own body finally cooled down and felt sticky and aching. Mostly, Nite seemed tired, but he could see, just by the uncertainty in his eyes when he glanced over his shoulder, that he was scared.

Scared of what their talk might lead to, he suspected. Nite had longed for this moment, but now, it was all too real, and under circumstances where he couldn’t really keep up, anymore.

,,Nite?’’ Seymore asked gently, when it looked like the sorcerer were lost in thoughts. He looked up, confused, as to why he was even here. ,,… May I come closer?’’ he asked instead, as Nite seemed to get back to his senses.

,,You don’t… You don’t _have_ to ask permission… I know I, ahm… I said I wanted that, but… not if we’re… Not if I’m not your…’’ he tried, but gave up when the troll came to stand behind him. He gently placed his big, green hands on the small man’s shoulders, squeezing them slightly as Nite seemed to steady, just by the touch. ,,Why am I feeling so _weird_ , right now?’’ he asked quietly, leaning backwards in the troll’s embrace.

,,I don’t know. Is it weird? Would you rather that I… go?’’ he asked.

,, _No_ , of _course_ not!’’ he said, turning around panicked. ,,This is what I _mean_ , Seymore! It always feels like you just… _want to run away!_ ’’ he screeched, his eyes worried when he realized his outburst. ,,I didn’t mean to-,’’ he tried, but Seymore just smiled.

,,No, you’re right. I don’t want to go, Nite,’’ he said calmly. ,,But I don’t think I’m always the most calming person for you to be around… And if you felt weird about… _this_ , then I thought that you maybe wanted a minute for yourself, to think about… _what_ you want… In general, with this… With… me…’’ he said slowly.

,,I want you to stay,’’ he said, taking the troll’s hand and guiding him into the big, warm tub. ,,I want you to… be here, with me… In my bed, eating with me, just… like it was, but…’’ he said, covering his body with the hot water. Seymore opened up his arms, gesturing for the small man to come closer to his embrace, and Nite happily did so. They sat like this, quietly, for a while, but Seymore could tell that Nite had something on his mind, that was hard for him to put into words. ,,… I don’t think… I _deserve_ this, really…’’ he said slowly.

,,You don’t think you deserve that I’m… here, with you?’’ he asked confused.

,,No… Yes, but… I realized, when I traveled with my mother, that… you were _right_. I _always_ thought that she would somehow not really… _care_ , that much, but… She really wants to marry me off… Not just to _anybody_ , she _clearly_ had her favorites… And she is so _uncultured_ that it’s _insulting_ ,’’ he said harshly, shaking again, but this time, it was from anger. ,,And I… I don’t really think I _deserve…_ _anything_ … I’ve been mad at you for so long, but you’re still the… I mean, for me, you’re…’’ he tried, turning his body to look up at the awaiting troll. ,,… I love you… And it should make me _so happy_ to hear you say those words, to _me_ , _finally_ , but… I just feel _scared and confused_ ,’’ he said apologetic.

,,It’s okay,’’ he said, leaning down to kiss the small man again. When he put his arms around him, Nite was still cold and shaking, not heating up by the water at all. ,,We don’t have to rush. I’ll stay _right here_ , by your side, for as long as you wish me to,’’ he smiled, leaning backwards to get both of their bodies further underwater. ,,… Does it _hurt you_ , that I hold you, like this?’’ he finally asked, dreading the answer.

,,Yes,’’ Nite said, his big eyes sad by the fact. ,,But not that much. Don’t stop holding me,’’ he begged.

,,I won’t,’’ he promised, gently kissing him again. It had almost been as unbearable to wait for this, as it had been before they had ever kissed, but now, he had all the time in the world to make up for all the touches he hadn’t been able to give him. His lips grew more impatient, his kisses more hungry. He could feel Nite’s teeth scrape against his lips, the small man whimpering into his mouth, but not letting go of the troll he clung himself to. ,,I’ve missed this _so much_ ,’’ he said longingly, holding the small man even tighter. ,,I want you so much, Nite,’’ he whispered.

,,Again? But we just-,’’ he started, but got cut off by the troll’s gentle chuckle.

,,Not like _that_ ,’’ he smiled, kissing the sorcerer’s forehead, feeling a gentle warmth pulsate through the mark. ,,I want _you_ , in every way you’ll allow me to. All that is happy, and simple, and true… But also, every time you need to cry, or you’re angry, or you just need me to _be_ there. I thought… I thought I was that before, but no… But I’ll be that _now_ ,’’ he whispered calmly. ,,I don’t want you to _ever_ feel I just want to _rub myself off_ against you. I want you to feel as special, as I see you,’’ he smiled, continuing kissing the small man.

,,I would like that…’’ he smiled. A genuine smile, just as beautiful as he remembered it. Even if the eyes that grazed his presence were red, his smile was as familiar and safe as he remembered. ,,I… ahm… We can be… lovers, now, right?’’ he asked flustered, trying to hide his face in the crook of the troll’s neck. Seymore chuckled again, his voice deep and soothing for the small man in his arms.

,,Yes. We can be _lovers._ I would like that very much,’’ he cooed gently. Nite’s body seemed to heat up now, just a tad at least, and so did the mark on his forehead. Nite had always been pretty cold, but not to an extent where hot water had no effect at all, so he wasn’t really sure if it was due to the young man himself, or the half moon.

,,But I don’t want to be… your _Master_ , not like _that_ ,’’ he said. ,,I don’t want to hit you or… _torment_ you, or…’’

,,You didn’t torment me, Nite,’’ he interrupted. ,,I mean… I wouldn’t let you _mark me all over,_ if I didn’t want you to. It’s _okay_ if you don’t want to be my Master, and it’s okay if you don’t want to play with dominance when we… _if_ we have sex, but… Don’t stop, because we’re _lovers_ , and you believe that’s something lovers don’t do, it certainly can be…’’ he said slowly. The flustered young man looked up at the gentle troll, his eyes glossy anew. ,,My apologies for asking, but… You didn’t _dislike_ that stuff, did you? I… ahm, I could read the situation wrong, but it seemed to really _excite you_ , when you were… _very rough_ with me, that is,’’ he said, feeling his own cheeks heat up. ,,And I… I like that stuff, Nite. You _know_ I do.’’

,,I _do_ like that stuff, but… I just feel _weird_ about it, afterwards… Maybe because… I _know_ you like it, but I can’t really wrap my head around… _why_ you would like me to do so…’’ he said slowly. ,,I… I didn’t _say_ anything, but… I felt _terrible_ , when I gave you… _this_ …’’ he said, slowly tracing the big scar on the troll’s left shoulder.

,,… I understand why, but I don’t mind these marks… If anything… I’ll _never_ be able to forget this…’’ he smiled, but this didn’t seem to calm Nite the slightest.

,,That’s the problem! I was _so angry_ that I… I _did this_ , _just_ like the scars on your face, and I-,’’ he tried, but stopped when his voice cracked.

,,But Nite, I got the marks, after I _longed_ for you, for… years, almost… I _let_ you mark me, because I… I took some pride in letting my _Master_ mark me, but I don’t see these are filled with _hatred_. For me they’re… _love marks_ ,’’ he blushed, feeling his own throat tighten a little. ,,But you don’t _have_ to be my Master, to satisfy me. You don’t have to be _anything_ in particular, I just want… _you_.’’

,,I… Really? You don’t… mind them?’’ he asked curiously, letting his hands wander the troll’s broad body. ,,I _really_ wished you would have let me heal you…’’ he mumbled.

,,I know,’’ he smiled apologetically. He took in a deep breath, before he took the sorcerer’s hands in his. ,,I never… really got back to what we were talking about, before we got here,’’ he started. ,,I don’t want to be _lovers_ , just because I feel bad about the past. I can’t fix my mistakes like _that_. But… I can only hope, with time and guidance… that I can _somehow_ make up for betraying your trust, while… _being_ your lover…’’ he smiled gently.

,,You… You don’t have to take _all_ the responsibility… I mean, I… Should I have told you _what_ the book was about?’’ he asked concerned. ,,You would have wanted to talk me out of it, wouldn’t you?’’ Seymore nodded regretfully, knowing how much it would have sparked debate, even if he had known about it beforehand.

,,I would… I don’t… _like_ the thought of you, having black magic, but… I don’t really understand _that_ concept, either… Maybe, if you… If you want to, you can teach me a little about what it means, because… You don’t _seem_ corrupted,’’ he said, although he knew Nite hurt when he touched him.

,,I could have been,’’ he said seriously. ,,I… I can be… I don’t know how to _use_ my powers correctly, but… I still have more control, than I had back then, I guess…’’ he shrugged. Seymore leaned down, gently kissing the small man’s shoulder, making him squirm in his arms.

,,Will you tell me about it, at some point?’’ he whispered, kissing Nite’s neck just as careful.

,,Yes, but… then I want something from you,’’ he panted, holding the troll’s head in his hands. He looked very serious, but Seymore couldn’t help but to chuckle.

,,Anything,’’ he smiled.

,,… Anything?’’ he repeated, and Seymore nodded, to the best of his abilities. ,,I want to know about… why you came _here_. I want to know what happened with _him_ ,’’ he said, almost sternly.

,,Of course,’’ Seymore chuckled, not even expecting him to bring it up again. ,,And I will. But not tonight. Tonight is not about _him_ , it’s about _you_ ,’’ he smiled.

,,And _you_ ,’’ he protested. Although he seemed frustrated to wait even just a little longer, he finally nodded, before letting go of the troll’s head. ,,… You promise?’’ he asked softly.

,,I do. But I fear it’s nothing like you think it is. Really, in hindsight, I was the problem,’’ he admitted. Nite was quite for a while, before he chuckled.

,,I somehow believe that, actually. But… That doesn’t mean you can’t be hurt yourself,’’ he shrugged.

,,You’re right. But I don’t want you to think he did something _unspeakable_ to me. If anything, I just find the whole thing… embarrassing, now,’’ he said flustered. ,,I want to ask you, what you want our relation to be? I think that’s much more important to talk about now,’’ he tried.

,,… I don’t think I understand. I want… a relationship? I mean… Ahm, if you _want_ me to be your sir or _Master_ , I can, but… I much rather be something… _simple?_ ’’ he tried, looking at the troll as if he had all the answers. ,,I mean… what do _you_ want?’’ he asked instead.

,,I want… to sleep beside you tonight… and kiss you good morning, when we wake up,’’ he chuckled, even making Nite chuckle as well. ,,I’m very flexible. If it was easier for you to keep the _emotional parts_ at a minimum, I could probably handle that as well… If it hurts when I touch or kiss you, that is… But if you ask me, what I want… It’s all _those_ things I really have missed, not being _spanked_ , not even _sex itself_ ,’’ he tried.

,,I think that’s hard to believe,’’ Nite chuckled, leaning up against the troll’s heavy body. ,,I can _feel you_ against me leg. Don’t act like you’re _so soft_ that sex is meaningless.’’ Seymore couldn’t help the groan that build up in his throat, knowing all too well how it affected his otherwise sore body when Nite was this close to him.

,,I mean, _sure_ , I _want_ to have sex with you, but… I’ve missed kissing you _so much_. You have no _idea_ how many times I’ve wanted to lean in or to _beg_ for you to kiss me, when you’ve fucked me,’’ he said, his voice a littler raspier now.

,,Is that so?’’ Nite smirked, leaning closer to the troll again. ,,I think I would have _liked_ you to beg for that,’’ he said seductively, but closed the space between them regardless. Nite’s kisses were a little more dominant than they used to be, but he matched the troll’s pace wonderfully.

,,Then _please_ , don’t stop kissing me,’’ he said longingly, feeling the small man’s lips on his again. If Nite could feel the troll’s cock getting hard before, he didn’t want to think about how it ached now. In the past couple of months, he had rarely wanted to pin the small man down as he used to, and while he wasn’t sure if Nite wanted to keep being on top, he couldn’t help to feel warm and excited by how greedily he kissed him back. ,,I love you so much,’’ he chanted against the pale lips. Nite sat up a little, his red eyes wondering and nervous, all of a sudden.

,,… Ie hakovuth gorotu.’’ Seymore almost thought he had been drifting off to sleep. The words didn’t make sense at first, due to Nite’s thick accent. But then he realized, both with horror and pride, that the sorcerer was speaking _troll_.

,, _I love you too_ ,’’ he growled, smiling fondly to the small man. ,, _When_ did you learn to speak troll?’’ he asked, his face heating slightly. He had _never_ heard anyone but trolls speak his language.

,,I noticed… _years ago_ , actually, how much you _growl_ during sex… And when you spoke to me, in troll… I realized you probably did that when we were intimate, because you dirty talked in troll…’’ he said slowly.

,,… You’re not wrong,’’ he said underneath his breath.

,,I _know_ ,’’ Nite smirked, making the flushing troll whine embarrassed. ,,When I came back, after my trip with my mother, I tried to learn troll. It’s a _lot_ harder than any other language I’ve tried to learn, and I… I don’t really know if I _say_ things right…’’ he admitted.

,, _Then, speak to me_ ,’’ Seymore growled, making the small man alert again. He could see that Nite understood him, clearly, and remembered all the lewd things he would say that he _undoubtably_ had understood as well, making his cock ache a little more.

,, _I don’t know what to say,_ ’’ he growled, speaking with a weird, distant accent, Seymore had never heard before. ,, _It’s very hard to go as deep, as troll’s do_ ,’’ he explained, still growling to the best of his abilities.

,, _But you understand me? That’s very impressive. All your words are right, even if you think it’s hard_ ,’’ he growled, reassuring him by putting their foreheads together again. Sitting this closely to him was almost intoxicating. ,, _You learned a whole language to find out if I dirty talked?_ ’’ he growled, chuckling slightly.

,, _I mean… Yes, but mostly I… I love you… I want to know_ everything _about you, about your culture…_ ’’ he growled slowly.

,, _I’m very impressed. I’ve never talked with anyone who could troll, that wasn’t a troll themself,_ ’’ he growled, smiling gently as he held the sorcerer dearly. ,, _You’re not as cold, anymore_ ,’’ he noted, growling happily.

,, _I don’t feel cold, either_ ,’’ he growled, clinging to the troll’s shoulder’s. ,, _Will you take me to bed?_ ’’ he asked, his voice seemingly getting tired, but he still growled to the best of his abilities.

,, _Of course_ ,’’ he growled, rather smoothly pulling out the cork in the bathtub, feeling the lukewarm water drain away from their rapidly cooling bodies anew. ,,Let’s dry up, love,’’ he said gently, untangling his wet body from the sorcerer’s.

They dried of fairly quickly, and Nite threw himself into the big, warm bed, already exhausted, it looked like. But he still perked up, when Seymore laid beside him, grabbing blankets and pillows to make their stay comfortable, not even hesitating to lay beside him.

,,… You lied to me, you know that, right?’’ Nite said after a while. Seymore wasn’t sure at first, but it was clear what he meant when he began growling again: ,, _Trolls don’t have a word for ‘love’_.’’ He repeated the words Seymore had told him on his 16th birthday. He had never really expected Nite to find out, but it shouldn’t really have surprised him. ,,… But I guess I lied about the earrings, too… I just… _really_ wanted to know, _for sure_ , if you… _actually_ liked me,’’ he said quietly.

,,I know,’’ he said regretfully. ,,I should have told you. I just… I wasn’t sure I was ready, back then… I always thought it would be much harder, if we had to part, had you _known_ that I liked you, just as much as you liked me, but… I’m not sure I was right about that,’’ he smiled sadly. He had missed being in Nite’s bed, he thought mindlessly, as he closed his eyes. Not because it was big and soft, but because of laying here, with the small sorcerer in his arms, their naked skin together. ,,That was the first word you tried to learn, wasn’t it?’’ he chuckled, kissing him gently.

,,It was,’’ he smiled, clinging to the troll’s lips again. He knew it could never be as it had been in the past, but he hoped he would get something almost as comfortable and soft as it had been before. ,,I’m not mad about that, really… I think… I _think_ I understand why you were so hesitant… You might not be that old, but you want to _act_ very mature…’’ he said gently.

,,But you’re not… _all_ wrong… Although I did _suspect_ something dubious about the book… I was scared… I was scared to out you, because I didn’t know… _what_ she would do… And I was afraid I would have to _leave_ this place, for good, and in that regard… leave you too,’’ he said quietly. Nite laid his head against the troll’s chest, briefly looking up at him. The red eyes weren’t harsh, anymore. If Seymore simply had gotten used to them, or if Nite was just the same as before, despite the spirit possessing him, he couldn’t know.

,,Did you mean it? That you would… tell her?’’ he asked. Seymore hesitated for a moment, before he nodded.

,,If you want me to, I will. I mean… You can leave the castle now, right? We will figure something out, out there,’’ he smiled, but Nite didn’t seem so sure.

,,… It’s not very wise to wander around with _this_. It’s hard to cover up, trust me, I’ve _tried_ ,’’ he sighed. ,,I don’t… really _want_ her to know, but… I _know_ she’ll ask about my betrothal again… And I don’t want that, I _never_ wanted that, even before the two of us… _ever_ did _anything_ ,’’ he said.

,,… Then I guess she’ll find out, when she brings up the betrothal again?’’ he said gently. Nite nodded, seemingly satisfied with that answer.

,,You _promise_ that you won’t leave? Right?’’ he asked quietly. ,,I _know_ you say you won’t, but… it’s so hard to believe…’’ he whispered, hiding his face against the troll’s chest. Seymore took both of the human’s hands in his and kissed them dearly. He wished he had kept the ring from back then, but he hadn’t. It had gotten lost after he went back into his chamber that day, and he had never been sure where it really went.

,,I promise,’’ he smiled. ,,I don’t really look _forward_ to telling your mother, but I’m ready. I’m ready for it all, love,’’ he smiled, making the man beside him blush again.

,,I like the sound of that,’’ he smiled brightly.

,,Of what?’’ he chuckled, when Nite climbed on top of him, resting his light body on his.

,,You, calling me _love_. I like that _a lot more_ than anything else,’’ he sighed happily.

,,You’re very sweet,’’ he said, still smiling up to the small, yawning man. ,,Are you tired?’’ he asked, even though it was obvious.

,,No…’’ he lied, moving to kiss the troll again. ,,… You’ll be there tomorrow, when I wake up, right?’’ he said nervously. Seymore hummed against the sorcerer’s lips.

,,I will, don’t you worry,’’ he said, kissing him again. ,,We don’t have to talk a lot more, if you want to sleep. I just… I want to be on the same page, in a sense. I want to know that we see our… Our _relationship_ the same way,’’ he explained, curling their fingers together.

,,… I think I would like it to be like dancing…’’ he said, after he had thought about it for a while. When Seymore looked puzzled up at him, he elaborated: ,,I would like you to take the lead and guide me, because I don’t _know_ how to do this. And then, when it feels right… I probably want to take the lead as well, at some point,’’ he said, chuckling at his own words. ,,I guess it sounds stupid?’’ he asked shyly.

,,Not at all. I can do that,’’ Seymore assured him gently. ,,I _missed_ all of this, so much. How curious and awkward you are, how beautiful it sounds when you chuckle… How your eyes glimmer, when you look at me,’’ he hummed, continuing to kiss the small man again. It was hard to stay apart from his lips for too long. He _almost_ didn’t feel tired when he kissed him so longingly.

,,You… You said my eyes had changed,’’ Nite noted, suddenly very awake anew. ,,You said they were red?’’ Seymore looked confused at his loved one. How could he not have noticed?

,,… Your eyes _are_ red, Nite. They were brown before, mahogany, so yes, they were _reddish_ , but your eyes are… _albino_ red, now,’’ he said, trying to describe them to the best of his abilities. ,,Although… I don’t think they are as red _now_ , as that night you came home,’’ he said, looking more intensely into the man’s deep-set eyes. ,,How can you not see that?’’

,,When I look in the mirror, they are still brown,’’ he said confused. ,,I don’t see _any_ difference from how they _were_.’’

,,I don’t understand that,’’ Seymore said, looking deeper into his eyes. He remembered how Nite’s eyes had briefly changed color in the past, to the same, vivid red as they had been that night he came home, and he remembered how the red eyes would turn mahogany just the slightest second, as if something in Nite was imbalanced. ,,I don’t… I don’t think this has anything to do with the half moon, Nite,’’ he said, gently holding the sorcerer’s face. ,,Your eyes changed color every once in a while before the half moon, too,’’ he told him.

,,That’s strange,’’ he said, letting his own hands run down his face. ,,… Human eyes aren’t supposed to do that. _Especially_ not to _red_ …’’ he told him.

,,I thought it could be a magic thing, so I never really mentioned it… Not before that day, when they didn’t turn _back_ to mahogany…’’ he said slowly. ,,… Could this be part of the reason why your mother didn’t want you to leave the castle?’’ he asked gently. Nite shrugged and slumped down beside the troll again, curling himself into a ball against the troll’s warm, safe body.

,,Who knows, really? I mean, I _could_ ask her about my heritage, but I don’t really think she would give me an honest answer, anyway,’’ he said, closing his eyes. ,,That’s why… I wanted _this_ ,’’ he said, pointing to the half moon. ,,I wanted to _be_ something _myself_ , regardless of who I was _supposed to be_. I know _this_ was not what you meant, but… It felt _right_ when you told me I had to live _for myself_ ,’’ he yawned, hugging the troll tighter.

,,You’re right, this wasn’t _exactly_ what I had in mind when I said that…’’ he mumbled underneath his breath.

,,I have one last favor to ask you,’’ Nite said, either ignoring the troll’s prior statement or simply not hearing it. ,,I want you to move in with me.’’ Seymore blinked a couple of times, before he looked down at the half-sleeping man in his arms.

,,… We already live together, don’t we?’’ he asked confused.

,, _Yes_ , but I want you to live in _here_. Have your stuff in here,’’ he smiled. ,,The castle is _big_. There’ll always be other rooms for you to hide in, if you need space from me,’’ he shrugged, making the troll’s chest tighten.

,,I don’t need space _away_ from you,’’ he said gently. ,,When I needed space, it was because of _me_ , not _you_ ,’’ he tried.

,,Is that a _no_ , then? You don’t want to move in here?’’ he asked tiredly, looking up at the troll again.

,,No, no, not at all. I just… don’t want you to think you caused me to pull back, in the past,’’ he explained. ,,My stuff don’t take up much space. It’ll be easy to move it, tomorrow,’’ he said, feeling drowsy himself, all of a sudden.

,, _Good_. I like the sound of that,’’ he said, a sleepy smile on his face. It was a long time since Seymore had had the opportunity to look at the small man this closely, when he laid so comfortably in his arms.

,,Get some sleep, love. We’ll figure more out tomorrow, I promise,’’ he said, kissing his forehead again. Weirdly enough, the mark didn’t feel excessively warm now. This was something he had to get used to, but mostly; this was something he _wanted_ to get used to.

He closed his own eyes, his heart settling down, as the rush from the evening finally daunted on him. He had wanted this, ever since that morning he came back, after talking with Feylin. And although he was still anxious about it all, and probably always would fear that Nite could find better and would end up leaving him, he mostly felt at peace, in a way he couldn’t have imagined. Maybe magic _could_ change the world, he thought sleepily, as he drifted off.

He _almost_ thought Nite already were asleep, when he heard the faint, giddy chuckle by his side.

,,This means we _are_ lovers now, right?’’


	18. 18) Hold on tight

He faintly remembered mornings, where he would wake up with the sorcerer at his side. He remembered the feeling of uncomfortableness, when he tried to pry away from the small man, without waking him up, or his fluttering heart, when he remembered what had happened the night before. And he remembered all the heartaches he felt, when Nite would wake up, the few times he was still in his bed, looking up at him with those, big, beautiful eyes he had grown to love, asking for so much without even saying a word.

He was just laying quietly for a long time, just gazing upon the small man in his arms, smiling happily as he wondered, if he was even allowed to be this content? He had once laid like this, thinking it was dangerous for his heart to be so close to the small man, but now, he felt at peace with the fact that he was Nite’s, and Nite was his, a thing he could have never imagined before. For such a long time, he had prided himself with the fact that he _never_ wanted to have another relationship.

And yet, here he was, after having wanted this for years. The thought of not only getting his peculiar, little friend back, but also _live_ with him, without pretending they didn’t care this deeply for each other, would have scared him back then, he couldn’t lie about that. But now, he could think of nothing more wonderful than living with Nite, in his room, sharing not only his heart, but his space as well.

While he had always known that Nite was somewhat selfish, he had always tried to be very generous with Seymore. If it was for his own interest, or because he simply cared so much for the troll, he couldn’t tell, but Nite had overstepped so many of his prior comfort-zones in the past, simply to show him, that he was deeply serious in his pursue of Seymore.

Nite was right. He was ready to do almost anything, back then, _even_ compromising his own magic being in the presence of the troll. And now Seymore wanted to show that he was just as willing to adapt. Not only that, he _wanted_ to adapt, to a life that would be theirs, together.

He still feared Willa’s wrath when she would find out in due time, but all his worries seemed to be cast aside, just for a little while, as Nite snored away in his arms. He couldn’t help but smile, as he laid watching the human sleep, gently moving around to get their faces level on the mountain of pillows Nite liked to hoard while sleeping.

Never had he _really_ looked at this gentle, sleeping man like this. Maybe his eyes were clouded by rose tinted glasses, or maybe Nite had changed while he had been away on his travel? The human had always had some slightly effeminate mannerism, but his face wasn’t as delicate. But now, when he laid this closely, taking in the sight while he listened to the silence of the room and his loved one’s heavy breathing, he seemed so fragile and pure; things he was well aware that Nite _wasn’t_.

It was an enchanting sight for him. How he noticed how dark the sorcerer’s eyelashes were, or how he could see the slightest stubble on his chin. He was _sure_ Nite hadn’t had them the last time he had laid in his bed like this.

He leaned forward, kissing the slightly parted lips gentle, to not startle Nite too much. Drowsily, he opened his big, sleepy eyes, returning the kiss without further question. And as he reminded himself he had to get used to, Nite’s eyes where his usual, deep mahogany color when he woke up, although just for a second, before they turned back into the red orbs he had grown familiar to.

,,Hey,’’ the sorcerer croaked, his voice raspy from not being used at all throughout the night. But Seymore didn’t get to answer him, before the human leaned in again, cuddling closer to his big, strong body and kissing him as natural as if he had never done anything else.

If Nite was a perfect fit for him, or if the sorcerer had decided to _be_ the perfect fit for him, was hard to know, but Nite had always managed to rather naturally figure out how to match Seymore’s moves. His movements were just slow enough to leave the troll lusting for more, and just deep enough for him to feel satisfied for a moment by the simple touch of his playful tongue.

Nite didn’t want to talk. It was so clear that he tried to avoid that the troll would begin to ask millions of questions, by just kissing him until he forgot them. And while Seymore still had plentiful of questions to ask, to settle the relationship in his mind, he didn’t mind getting distracted like this. If anything, this was the one time he felt no rush and no fear of running out of time.

The small man pushed him over, playfully straddling him before he leaned down to kiss him again. Seymore chuckled against the lips, and he could feel Nite smile as well, even if he didn’t slow down. He didn’t feel downright lustful in his movements, but the troll couldn’t deny the effect it had on his body, both with the kisses and the slight grinding of the light body against his.

,,Hey, you,’’ the troll chuckled, when the human finally slowed down and laid satisfied back down at the troll’s warm, naked body. ,,You’re in a particular caring mood today, aren’t you?’’ he smiled fondly, letting his hands run down the human’s back.

,,Oh, shut it,’’ he chuckled, nuzzling his face against the troll’s chest, gently tracing the scars that plastered his skin. ,,It’s funny. I feel rested in _a whole other way_ , when we sleep together,’’ he said quietly, not looking up at the troll again. ,,… It was like that, back then. Everything just felt… _better_. I guess, because I was lonely before?’’ he said, wondering.

,,I feel like that, too,’’ the troll hummed, gently moving Nite’s face to look at him again. ,,What do you want for breakfast?’’ he said, almost shyly looking at the man on top of him. He remembered how Nite could make him soft and obedient like it was sheer nothing, but had rarely felt this flustered and fluttery, just by looking into those big, beautiful eyes. Even when red, he still found them _oh_ so enchanting.

,,I can’t think about food _now_ ,’’ he chuckled.

,,Why not?’’ he asked confused, before he felt a slender hand creep down his body.

,,Because _my lover_ doesn’t really seem to be _hungry_ , right now,’’ he teased, grabbing gently around his big, half-stiff cock.

,, _Well, a different kind of hunger, you could say_ ,’’ he growled, suddenly remembering Nite understood him all too well, when he looked at the sorcerer’s satisfied smirk. ,,I, ahm… old habits…’’ he chuckled nervously, his cock twitching in the pale hand that gently stroked him.

,, _I don’t mind, if it’s more comfortable for you like that_ ,’’ he growled, his voice hoarse, but nowhere near deep enough for this kind of language. ,,It’s… It’s not any _easier_ , when I’ve just woken up,’’ he chuckled, his cheeks heating slightly, continuing with his soft, gently strokes to play with the troll.

,,You’re doing _wonderful_ , my love,’’ he panted, caressing the human’s face to get him closer to his own again, kissing him greedily as his mind got clouded. He might have forgotten how easy and gentle Nite could make things like these, but his body hadn’t, as his very soul ached for more of those slender fingers on his heating skin.

,,Tell me what you want me to do,’’ he whispered against the green lips. ,,Don’t hold back. Don’t be afraid. You can’t say anything that scares me off,’’ he said gently, his lips seeking the troll’s again.

,,… You don’t have to… do anything special…’’ he hesitated, but the small man just rolled his eyes, before he leaned forward to whisper in the troll’s big, long ears:

,,I know. I don’t _have_ to do _anything_ , but I _want_ to do just about _whatever_ you could want me to,’’ he whispered, tightening his grip slightly. ,,You want it rough, you want me to take control, and I can do all that just the same as before. But right now, I want you to be a _good boy_ and tell me _exactly_ how you want me to get you off. I _want_ you to be _greedy_ ,’’ he purred, biting the troll’s earlobe.

Seymore whimpered just by the tone in the small man’s voice. He had always liked that the focus where on Nite and what he wanted to do, trying his hardest not to overstep any boundaries. But Nite was much more mature now, and Seymore was pretty aware of what his boundaries was, at this point. Still, he felt weird expressing what _exactly_ he wanted, because truthfully, Seymore didn’t want much, beside that little man on top of him, touching him so gently and making him fall in love all over again.

,, _Okay, I’ll be greedy_ ,’’ he growled, whimpering slightly as he looked up at the satisfied smile on the sorcerer’s face. Nite shouldn’t be able to make him feel so helplessly aroused, but he did, stripping the troll of every ounce of confidence and authority he would have ever had. Just by the look in his big, half-lidded eyes, Seymore knew he understood him all too clearly, even like this. ,, _Come closer. Keep touching me, but come closer_ ,’’ he growled, greedily kissing the small man as he obliged.

Nite knew he could rest all of his sparce body weight on the troll, as he began stroking him with both hands, resting his chest against Seymore’s as he did so. The troll gently, but firmly, guided their kiss, feeling powerful and desired as Nite began to whimper against his mouth. He hadn’t heard these sweet, intoxicating sounds when the sorcerer had been in control, and _oh_ how he had missed him.

,, _Bite me. Bruise me_ ,’’ he growled, moaning just at the thought about the human’s weirdly sharp teeth sinking into his skin. Nite only hesitated for a second, before he dived down to the troll’s neck, fulfilling his wish. If Nite had hesitated because he needed time to process the words, or because he still somewhat felt shameful about liking to hurt the troll, Seymore didn’t know, and he didn’t care either, when he blissfully groaned as the pain shot through him.

,,I’ll mark you. You’re _mine_ ,’’ Nite hummed against Seymore’s sore neck. ,,Over and over again, _just_ enough for you to come back for _more_ ,’’ he whispered, just as threatening as Seymore desired.

,, _All yours_ ,’’ he growled, feeling the hands work harder on his cock. He didn’t want to hold back. He just wanted to show Nite how amazing he made him feel. ,,… _You don’t want to eat, but I still have something I want to feed you…_ ’’ he growled lowly, amused by the slight whimper in the flustered, little man’s throat.

,, _You’re dirty, aren’t you?_ ’’ he growled back, smiling seductively as he moved downwards the troll’s body, trying to put the twitching cock into his mouth, but Seymore denied him.

,,Not like this,’’ he panted, standing up and guiding the sorcerer to the edge of the bed. When Nite moved too slow, he grabbed him and placed him himself, the human on his back, his head over the edge of the bed, hanging and awaiting to be used as a fuck-hole, he assumed, by looking at the hungry gaze of his loved one underneath him. ,, _You’re ready?_ ’’ he growled, stroking himself as Nite opened his warm, damp mouth, drool already covering his lips expectantly.

,, _Go right ahead, my pet_ ,’’ he growled, whimpering happily as the troll gently pushed against his open mouth.

Nite had sucked him off many times, many times before he had gotten his dark mark, and many times afterwards, but the sheer feeling of trust and lust and love was overwhelming for the poor troll, as he, gently as he could, began to fuck the human’s small mouth. The sorcerer was careful, but his jaw would only spread so wide, and the teeth scraped him wonderfully. Not too hard, just enough to edge him further on.

While Seymore wanted to _slam_ himself against the small man, making him barely able to breathe, he knew it would hurt both himself and his loved one, that so desperately tried to keep up the pace. He felt the skilled hands against his shaft, guiding the troll a little better, as he continued to suck to the best of his abilities. Nite wasn’t as teasing, anymore, as if he could feel the need run through the troll himself, wanting for him to come _just_ as much as he himself did.

In the past, Nite was rarely horny in the morning. He wasn’t opposed to play with the troll, but he was much more energetic later on the day. He preferred to get frisky at night, and Seymore didn’t really mind that, either. It was a good way to relax and, despite his conflicting feelings in the past, he liked to fall asleep beside the small man. But right now, it was all too clear that he _more_ than enjoyed himself.

The blanket was cast aside, and the troll could see every inch of the pale, jittering man as he worked his bravest with the big, heavy cock in his mouth. Nite’s cock was stiff and pounded delightfully against his stomach, leaking onto himself. He wasn’t sure if the younger man was even aware of this, as he seemed to notice nothing else than the troll.

,,Just a moment,’’ the troll panted, pulling out and leaning forward, his cock resting on the whimpering human’s face.

,,By _Am_ , you’re so fucking big,’’ he mumbled underneath his breath, still licking and stroking the throbbing member, not even noticing what Seymore had in mind. He squeaked, looking down his own body as the troll began to gently suck him off. ,,I didn’t give you-…’’ he began, but trailed of, as soon as he realized he didn’t _need_ to give him orders, anymore.

,,Do you want me to stop?’’ he asked gently, feeling the smaller cock throb against his face. Despite whatever Nite meant, his cock had his own things in mind.

,,… But I want to focus on you…’’ he mumbled, almost pouty.

,,… Will it hurt you, if I do it like this?’’ he asked instead, suddenly fearing _that_ to be his concern. He had sucked Nite off many times after he had achieved the half moon on his forehead, but it had always been on his commands.

,,Seymore, everything hurts,’’ he croaked, trying to catch the troll’s gaze. ,,It doesn’t matter if you touch me gently, roughly, by my order or by accident. It _hurts_. It’s… It’s my punishment for _loving_ you, but…’’ he said, sitting up to better look at his beloved troll, taking the gentle face in his hands. ,,… It’s _worth it_. Maybe I just… _like_ the pain… Maybe I’ve grown used to it… No matter the case, you _can_ touch me, _however_ you want… I just wanted to focus on you… I wanted you to… To _guide me_ …’’ he smiled, almost shyly, before pressing a gentle kiss onto his lips.

,,… Okay,’’ the troll smiled, leaning down to the crook of the small man’s neck. ,, _I’m getting a bit_ sentimental _, over here. I just wanted to fool around, for a bit, like we used to do. And it_ always _feels better to come, with the taste of you on my tongue,_ ’’ he growled gently, making the sorcerer whimper impatiently again. ,, _So… is it alright, that I touch you, too?_ ’’ he growled, his voice so calm it almost seemed threatening.

,, _Yes_ ,’’ he growled, whimpering as the troll lifted him up, up higher than he usually had done, until the sorcerer clung to the troll’s head for dear life with his arms and legs wrapped around his face. ,,This is _not_ what I meant!’’ he protested, but jolted forward when he felt the mouth and tongue snugly wrap around his cock again, sucking him off in this strange position.

Seymore couldn’t answer, as Nite really _did_ clung to him, fearing to get them out of balance so they _both_ would fall, most likely. But Seymore was strong and the small man didn’t feel heavy in his arms, not even like this.

The touch worked regardless. If Nite got edged on by fear, he couldn’t say, but his cock was throbbing and leaking in copious amounts, making the troll’s mouth water even more. He didn’t lie, he really _did_ want to make Nite come, to _taste_ him again, even if he knew very well what he tasted like.

Nite really _was_ his drug, he mindlessly thought as the small man’s motions got jittery and his fingertips clawed into the troll’s shoulders. He tasted it before Nite could ever say so, firmly holding him in place so he wouldn’t toss himself down to the floor by accident.

,,I’m coming, _I’m coming! Fuck!_ ’’ he screamed, panting as he thrusted his hips against the troll’s greedy mouth.

Huh. It was a _long_ time since Nite had come so easily, he thought, as the younger man rode out his high, before the troll gently placed him down in the bed again. He had thought Nite simply just had acquired more stamina, by being older and probably experimenting with his own body, if he had to guess. In the past, before his travel, Nite had always been pretty easy to get to come, but it rarely meant he couldn’t continue with whatever they were up to, anyways, while he in the past months had lasted pretty well, regardless of their activity.

,,Your turn,’’ Nite panted, smiling exhausted up at the troll, as he laid down with his head over the edge of the bed again. Seymore chuckled lightly, gently placing his more than eager member on the sorcerer’s face, feeling him whimper against it anew.

,,You like this?’’ he asked curiously, rubbing himself against the small man’s face.

,, _Yes_ ,’’ he panted, sticking his tongue out to wet it every time Seymore dragged himself across his face. ,,It’s so warm and _big_ and hard… And I haven’t given myself time to really _enjoy_ you, the past couple of months,’’ he whispered, grabbing the moving cock.

,, _Enjoy all you want, my love_ ,’’ he growled, stepping a bit away to line himself better up towards Nite’s mouth. He felt the gentle tongue against his tip again, shuddering over the sensation. He still wanted to come so badly, but the sounds of delight from the sorcerer made him eager to hold back, if not just for a little longer.

He gently held around the human’s face, guiding himself carefully into his open mouth. No matter their position, Nite could simply not get that much of him inside his mouth, but Seymore loved the way he gagged and gurgled around his cock, choking himself by the sheer desire to suck of the troll.

,,Tap my leg when you need air, okay?’’ he said gently, shifting his hands around the human’s neck instead, as he began to push forward, a little faster, a little more needy.

To his surprise, Nite let his hands fall to his sides, before he curled them onto his back, much like when Seymore himself obediently had serviced his small Master. Seymore had no real interest in being a _Master_ , not even being in control, but delightful shivers still ran down his spine, as the small man fell limb in his hands, letting the troll guide him without any restrictions.

He would lie if he said it wasn’t exciting. He would lie if it didn’t terrify him a little, as well, that Nite so bitterly trusted him so easily again, even after _years_ of shifting between love and despise for his very being. He felt powerful, in a way he hardly felt he could control, but when he pulled out to look at the small human, he mostly just felt _loved_.

,,I didn’t tap your leg,’’ he said, almost confused before the troll leaned down, kissing him greedily and tasting his own precum on his tongue. He held Nite here, his hands still around his throat, as the kiss grew sloppier and needier, just by the second.

,,Get down on your knees,’’ he said gently, when he finally let go of the small human that eagerly sat in front of him. ,,Open up,’’ he begged, cupping the human’s cheek with one hand, while touching himself with the other. ,,By the stars, you’re so _beautiful_ ,’’ he panted above him, looking down into the attentive, red eyes.

,,I’ll be _much_ prettier after this, wouldn’t you say so?’’ he smirked, placing his hands behind his back again, sticking out his tongue as he waited patiently for the troll to come.

,, _You’re_ unusually _thirsty this morning. Spoiling me this early, aren’t you?_ ’’ he growled, slapping his cock against the human’s face, not hard, but sudden enough to surprise the small man.

He liked that Nite understood troll, he decided. Despite using it to protect his aching heart and slipping into his mother tongue when he got too excited, he liked that Nite not only understood every word, he encouraged him to speak it. _He had learned troll_ , just to be able to understand him when he talked dirty, and he couldn’t help but shudder by the fact.

,, _It’s as I said,_ ’’ Nite growled, his voice low and husky all of a sudden. ,, _I want to make you_ crave _more. To satisfy you just enough for now, but leaving you hungry for later_.’’

,,Oh I could _never_ get enough of you,’’ he purred, guiding the human’s face closer to his cock, as he felt the orgasm creep closer. The damp breath against his skin, combined with the sultry look the small man sent him, sent him over the edge and he felt the first shot of cum run over Nite’s face, much before he had the sense to put his cock back into the sorcerer’s mouth.

Nite did his best to keep swallowing as the troll came in thick, hard bursts, but Seymore was unusually pent up, and he kept panting and coming, until the small man gave in, let go of the cock in his mouth and submissively let him paint his face. He didn’t look dissatisfied, but Seymore knew how much he tried to avoid making a mess, although the troll couldn’t help but feel a thrill at the sight.

,,… How can there be _so much_ , when you _just_ came yesterday?’’ he complained, chuckling slightly. His chuckles where abruptly ended, when the troll leaned down, kissing him so wildly that the human nearly lost his breath. He felt _filthy_. The sheer lust of tasting himself against the human’s lips, licking his face clean and _sharing_ his own cum with him made his body ache again. He loved, that regardless of what Nite thought about the messiness, he kissed him back with just as much vigor as Seymore did.

,,I love you,’’ he mumbled in his low, raspy voice, picking up the human to place him back on the bed. He didn’t stop kissing him, licking him clean and diving back for more, as he leaned over the small man, feeling powerful and desired by the way the human tucked in his body to feel more of it on top of him. ,,I should have told you years ago… But I didn’t believe a troll could be this lucky,’’ he continued, kissing down the human’s neck, when his face was mostly clean.

,,You’re silly,’’ he panted, stroking the top of the troll’s bald head. ,,I’ve wanted nothing more than to be yours, for what feels like… _forever_. You’re not… _lucky_ , you’re simply… just _exactly_ what I _need_ and _want_ ,’’ he whispered, as the troll’s lips wandered down to his pounding chest. ,,Say it again,’’ he begged, making the troll look up at him.

,,What?’’

,, _I love you_ , say it again,’’ he begged, his face flushed and his eyes glossy.

,,I love you,’’ he said, leaning up to kiss those pale, thin lips he had just come all over. ,, _I love you_ ,’’ he growled, kissing the human’s cheeks, nuzzling his face against him. ,,I love you, I’ve never stopped loving you, and never will I,’’ he promised, feeling his heart ache with uncertainty. He had said words like these before. He hadn’t wanted to say them again, not to Ruvaen, not to _anyone_ else, but he couldn’t help it. He didn’t want them to be false, this time.

,, _I love you too_ ,’’ he growled against the green lips. ,, _Please_ , don’t leave me,’’ he begged, his voice suddenly breaking.

,,I won’t leave you,’’ he promised, leaning further down to embrace the small man. ,,I need you,’’ he whined, feeling the sorcerer’s teeth scrape his skin. ,,Your lips, your touch… Your heart, your soul…’’ he mumbled, fearing he would smother the whimpering man underneath him, but every time he tried to pull away, Nite clung to his back, as if he used him as a heavy blanket.

,,I’ll give you _anything_. You’re my _whole world_ ,’’ he whispered, his voice dripping with a sadness he had withheld for so long. If Nite was selfish, Seymore wouldn’t know. The only thing he knew, was how sincerely he meant the words, he had waited to tell ever since he had uttered his own first ‘I love you’.

,,I don’t want anything,’’ he smiled truthfully. ,,I _have_ everything.’’ Nite kept whimpering, almost sobbing against the thin, coarse lips of the troll, as Seymore held around him.

,,Say my name,’’ he whimpered, his cheeks warm and damp. Seymore tried not to be startled by the tears, but he couldn’t imagine what exactly went through his lover’s head.

,,I love you, Nite,’’ he whispered gently, kissing the dark mark on his forehead, feeling the skin burn against his lips. When he peaked down, it _glowed_ , soft and purple, but it didn’t look like his loved one noticed.

,,No, _say my name_ ,’’ he pleaded again, the sobs noticeable now. ,, _Please_ , say _my_ name,’’ he sobbed, hiding his face against the troll’s pounding chest, as he realized what he meant.

The last time he had tried to say it, Nite had nearly knocked his teeth out by accident. The only time he had ever said it fully, he lost his tusks…

,,Shh, I’m here,’’ he gently cooed, as the small man sobbed loudly against his chest. ,,Ie hakovuth… _Willow_ ,’’ he growled, the birthname of the man in his arms sticking out like a sore thumb, in the otherwise gruff tone. It had a softness to it, that in many ways matched how small and fragile Nite felt in his arms right now, and the sobs didn’t steady any. ,,My amazingly smart and true Willow,’’ he chanted, gently humming to steady the small man’s heavy breathing. ,,Tell me what’s going through your head, please,’’ he begged.

,,I don’t know,’’ he admitted, shaking in the older man’s grip. ,,I feel so… _overwhelmed_ … I-I _hate_ that name, but I wanted to know… how it would sound, coming from you,’’ he whimpered, his voice barely recognizable through the troll’s chest.

,,… How does it sound?’’ he asked curiously.

Nite finally looked up at him again, his face wet and flushed, as the troll gently wiped the tears away. And just as if magic itself had hit him, the eyes that gazed upon him were mahogany, deep and fiery as he remembered them. They didn’t turn red, and they didn’t turn away, when the troll smiled at him, full of adoration.

,,I wish you could see yourself, right now,’’ the troll hummed happily. ,,You’re really beautiful, Willow,’’ he smiled, leaning down to kiss him again. When they parted, the eyes still didn’t turn back to red. It also occurred to him, that the mark didn’t glow, anymore.

,,… It doesn’t sound so bad…’’ he concluded, ignoring the troll’s other comments. ,,But… don’t go around using my name _too_ often, though,’’ he said, a sudden sternness in his voice, despite his still shaky state. Seymore couldn’t help but chuckle, kissing the bridge of his loved one’s nose.

,,I think your name is beautiful,’’ he admitted, leaning down to whisper into the small man’s ear. ,,I think _Nite_ really does suit you, very well,’’ he purred, making the sorcerer whimper again.

,,I love you,’’ he said, looking into the gentle, amber eyes. ,,Every part of you, I love,’’ he said, reaching up to touch the troll’s face. ,,The flaws and insecurities, I still love those. All the weird, little ways you go about your day. _All_ the things you think makes you undesirable, I love those _the most_ ,’’ he whispered, kissing him greedily between the words.

He knew it was true. He had always known that Nite _was_ truthful, even if it made him uncomfortable. For some reason, Nite liked him. And even if he and Ruvaen were very different kinds of people, it was just as hard for him to imagine, as it had been with the pixie back then.

,,I’ve seen people, out there. I don’t want them. I want _you_ ,’’ Nite said, nuzzling his face against the troll’s.

,,I want you too,’’ he assured him. ,,I want nothing more than that,’’ he said, feeling his throat tighten. It felt just as overwhelming to admit as yesterday. They laid quietly like this as they kept kissing, the troll’s big body still pressing against the small man. Nite wouldn’t be able to move away even if he wanted to, which didn’t seem like his intention at all. If anything, he pulled him closer. ,,Doesn’t it hurt at all that I lay on top of you, like this?’’ he asked gently, no real desire to move away, unless it did.

,,Not really,’’ he said calmly, but then stiffening up as if it suddenly did. He was quiet for a moment, before he began flailing, and Seymore pulled away with concern in his amber eyes. ,,No, it _doesn’t hurt_ ,’’ he said, looking mesmerized up at the troll.

,,I… I meant because of my weight…’’ he started, when it dawned on him; his eyes. Maybe the pain had went away when Nite’s eyes changed. But why did they change back, when the mark still was on his forehead? ,,What does that mean?’’ he asked, laying down beside the small man instead.

,,I don’t know,’’ he admitted. ,,Maybe the demon lost interest in me? I haven’t really worked out how to _access_ any powers, but… _in general_ , I know I have better control over my powers now, than before,’’ he shrugged.

,,You’re eyes changed back to mahogany,’’ he told him, looking into those familiar, beautiful eyes. ,,Can’t really complain about that,’’ he smiled.

,,Really?’’ he asked, curiously touching his own face. ,,My mark is still there, right?’’ he asked, almost panicked.

,,It is,’’ he assured him, cuddling against his small lover. He gently kissed the mark, feeling the skin was just as lukewarm as the rest of the small man’s body. ,,… How did you get your book back? It was while you traveled, right?’’ he asked slowly. He didn’t try to be accusatory, but he would lie if he said the topic didn’t make him uneasy. Nite shifted his body to look at the troll again, his eyes weighing the situation.

,,I don’t actually know,’’ he said slowly. ,,I… wait, let’s talk about it over breakfast,’’ he said instead, suddenly getting up and roaming through his closet to find clothes.

,,Really? That’s rare that you suggest food _yourself_ ,’’ he said, happily surprised, as he remembered his clothes still was in the study chamber.

,,I know, right? I… I think I feel… hungry, for a change?’’ he said, the uncertainty cutting through his voice. He found a silky, royal blue shirt from his closet, contrasting the lavender ones he usually wore. It had been some time since Seymore had seen him in his oversized, grey sweaters.

,,You look good,’’ he smiled, feeling his stomach flutter at the sight. He walked up behind the small man, leaned down and kissed his covered shoulder, humming as he held around him. ,,I need to go to the basement chamber to get dressed. Wait for me in the kitchen, will you?’’ he said gently, and Nite nodded, unwillingly leaving the troll’s embrace.

Seymore wasn’t gone for long. He threw on his clothes, and picked up his few belongings on the way, leaving them in Nite’s room as he walked towards the kitchen. It looked like the sorcerer had gotten rid of the mess he had made yesterday, but he didn’t mention it as he sat on the kitchen counter, smiling brightly to the troll. It was a strange scenario, Seymore thought, but in a way that made him melt a little inside.

,,Sitting here, all alone?’’ he chuckled, as he walked up to the small man, placing a hand on either side of his body as he leaned in to kiss him. Nite happily put his arms around the troll’s broad shoulders, relaxing against the wall as the troll slowly deepened the kiss, enjoying the small whimpers coming from his loved one. ,,So let me ask you again: What do you want to eat?’’ he hummed against the small man’s swollen lips.

,,Are you offering anything in _particular?_ ’’ he purred, making the troll feel a familiar jolt run through him.

,,Later, now, _real_ food,’’ he panted, feeling his troll instincts scold him. He wanted nothing more than to fuck the human senseless in every part of the castle, feeling high on love, but Nite never really showed interest in food, and Seymore’s more nurturing nature took over.

,,Something _sweet_ ,’’ he smirked, his lips brushing ever so gently against the troll’s. The underlining, devilish tone in his voice amused the older man as he leaned in to seal their lips again. It was hard to pull away from Nite. Nite felt comforting for his soul to be near.

,,I’ll whip something up,’’ he said gently, but didn’t move away. ,,Do you want to help me, or would you rather just sit there, looking so inviting?’’ he whispered against the human’s neck, placing wet kisses underneath his jaw.

,,Can I help you _while_ looking inviting?’’ he cooed, clearly more interested in keeping them close than getting food.

,,I think you can,’’ he smiled, reluctantly pulling away from his small lover, finding flour and bowls, whisk and eggs. ,,You can cut the fruit? Unless you want to help me baking,’’ he suggested.

,,… I’m afraid I’ll ruin it,’’ he admitted, getting down from the kitchen counter. ,,What are we making?’’ he asked, as Seymore handed him various red fruits, berries, plums and peaches alike.

,,Pancakes. And don’t worry, it’ll be fine,’’ he smiled, taking care of the eggs himself. Seymore could eat almost anything, but he doubted Nite would like eggshells in his pancakes. The human followed curiously the troll’s motions, as he measured various flours and milk, adding it all to the bowl. ,,I could indeed make healthier things for you, but I kinda want to celebrate,’’ he admitted, whisking away as the small man tried his best not to cut himself, while cutting the peaches.

,,They’ll not exactly be _even_ ,’’ he said, looking frustrated down at the slices.

,,They don’t have to be. It’s mainly an excuse to get _some_ form of nutrients into you, despite baking sweets for breakfast,’’ he chuckled warmly, standing behind the small human to help him cut the fruit, much like he had done at Winter solstice. ,,You’re very _tense_. Don’t be afraid, you’re very observant, you’re not gonna cut yourself,’’ he said, guiding Nite’s hands. ,,You can use your magic, if it’s easier for you. I don’t mind,’’ he said, nuzzling the human’s neck.

,,… It’s hard to concentrate when you’re this close,’’ he admitted.

,,It’s hard to pull away from you, for too long,’’ the troll purred, holding Nite’s hands still as he kissed his neck.

,,… You don’t mind magic, anymore?’’ he asked instead, trying not to buckle his hips backwards, into the troll.

,,… I don’t mind _you,_ using magic,’’ he said carefully. ,,I don’t… want to disappoint you… I still feel very wary around magic… But I trust you, I really do…’’ he said slowly. ,,I know you want me no harm. There’s been _plenty_ of times you could’ve hurt me, where you didn’t… Magic still scares me. But I would _never_ want you to compromise such a vital part of yourself, Nite. You _are_ magic, and I would never change that,’’ he said truthfully.

,,I can work with that,’’ he chuckled, putting down the knife to take the troll’s big hands into his own. It felt nice, in a way Seymore could have never imagined. Maybe it was because Nite was older, he thought, but he had felt ready for this back then too. Had he been ready? Maybe not. Maybe this _was_ the right timing, after all.

,,I need my hands to bake, love. Don’t worry, I’ll be back real soon,’’ he mumbled against the sorcerer’s cheek. Nite let go, finishing cutting the fruit as Seymore got the pan heated.

Seymore sneaked kisses and gently touches when he could, while he baked. They didn’t say much, but the silence wasn’t suffocating. Nite had waited for this ever since they had sat in the library, where he had asked about kissing. Seymore wasn’t going to deny himself of the gentleness he felt through the younger man’s touches.

It felt all too easy to fall back into a softness, they had briefly had with each other in the past. The thought of those gentle moments being every day, all the time, without the fear of rejection and hurt, made Seymore’s skin tingle and his heart flutter, when he looked at his small friend. His _boyfriend_ , he reminded himself, making his cheeks flush ever so slightly.

He plated their food when ready. They just sat in the kitchen, and Nite for once didn’t seem to despise eating. Sure, he normally didn’t do so when Seymore baked him sweets, but on the other hand, he still seemed like he didn’t really care to eat, even so.

,,You like it?’’ he asked gently. Nite ate slowly, but he always did. He nodded, looking down at his plate. ,,That’s good.’’ They sat like this for a while, before the sorcerer sighed, looking in front of him with a painful gaze in his big eyes.

,,… I don’t know how the book ended up in my bag,’’ he suddenly said. Seymore had almost forgotten that he had asked, but looked attentively at the young man, waiting for him to continue. ,,I don’t know why, but this time, it opened up without fail. I was back on Mokar, when I finally got… something out of it, though.’’

,,What do you mean?’’ Seymore’s browbone furrowed. Nite sighed, but not in a way that made him feel belittled or like his questions were unwelcome.

,,Well, I… Black magic can come from a lot of sources,’’ he explained instead. ,,Books are common. Artifacts too. Black magic comes from _demons_. Not the pesky half-demons that lulls around in Aenamo, but something… something without a _body_ for itself. They live in books or old artifacts, or where ever they can find some peace,’’ he said, looking up at the listening troll. ,,Demons aren’t _evil_ , per se, but… It’s tricky… They are very powerful, but also kind of lazy, and if a demon lends you some of its powers, you’re not getting that for free,’’ he said.

,,Okay, but… there were a spirit in that book of yours?’’ he asked slowly, and Nite nodded.

,,Yes. And demons like to protect their home. That’s why I couldn’t get into the book, in the first place. When it deemed me worthy, I could. But even demons can make mistakes, so the pages where blank. It needed to know that I _wanted_ this, that I _needed_ this, for it to really show itself to me, which it did on Mokar,’’ he explained.

,,… Is _your_ spirit evil?’’ Seymore asked slowly. He was done eating by now, putting his plate aside. Nite still ate in between speaking, but now he didn’t seem to hurry up with answering. He guessed he wouldn’t like the answer, then.

,,I can’t tell you,’’ he finally said. ,,I mean, most likely, _yes_ , it is. My demon is the _Demon of Desire_ , which is _fitting_ , I guess. It feeds on… not very _pleasant_ feelings of revenge and lust for power… That’s why it wasn’t very willing to present itself, because it could _feel,_ above everything else… I, ahm…’’ He looked to his side, shyly meeting the troll’s gaze. ,,… I have a lot of _anger_ , Seymore… Towards a _lot_ of people, despite how few I _know_. I know that’s not very… _desirable_ , to know, but…’’ he tried.

,,Oh,’’ the troll chuckled, placing a gentle hand on the young man’s shoulder. ,,I… kind of guessed as much… I mean… I _know_ you have a lot going on, inside, that… might be very hard to deal with… I might not always know how to help you, and I might not always _understand_ where you’re coming from, but… I’ll always listen, Nite. I don’t see you as any less, I promise. I might not _exactly_ understand how or why, but I… I _do_ understand that this wasn’t an easy process, for you, getting your spirit, that is…’’ he tried, hoping he didn’t seem too nervous.

A slight sigh of relief was drawn from the small man, before he smiled thankfully at the troll. He didn’t finish his food, but put the plate to his side, before he gently moved closer to the troll, resting his head on his shoulder and taking Seymore’s hand in his, gently tracing the lines on his palm.

,,Thank you,’’ he whispered. The older man hummed, but didn’t interrupt any further, hoping Nite would continue. Hoping he could understand. ,,The demon doesn’t like you. That’s why it hurt to touch you,’’ he simply said.

,,Is it gone now, that it doesn’t hurt to touch me?’’ he asked, but Nite shook his head.

,,I can never rid myself of my dark mark, and I’ll forever be linked with _this_ particular demon,’’ he said. They were quiet for a time, as Seymore began to caress the small man by his side. The air felt a little heavier, but Seymore could handle it. He _wanted_ to handle it.

,,Do you regret getting it?’’ he asked quietly. He had asked before, but it seemed like the answer was the same, as Nite shook his head.

,,No. With this, I can do things I would _never_ be able to achieve, otherwise,’’ he said firmly. While Seymore never understood Nite’s growing _desire_ to reform the world, he mostly wondered if this would be _safe_ for the man he cared so much about. Whether the spirit would consume him, or the Protectors of Aenamo would end him, the outcome seemed to overwhelm _any_ power he could possibly get from black magic. But on the other hand, he didn’t know much about magic, and he had to trust that Nite, despite being reckless, wouldn’t get himself caught in anything too dangerous.

,,Okay. I believe you,’’ he mumbled against the small man’s cheek, nuzzling his face against him.

,,… Are you mad at me, for choosing this?’’ he asked suddenly.

,,I’m not mad,’’ he promised. ,,I’m… worried…’’ he settled on. ,,What would I do, if something happened to you?’’ he whispered carefully.

,,There won’t,’’ he promised, turning his head to nuzzle it against Seymore’s. So many questions flooded his mind, but Nite was so close it was intoxicating. He couldn’t help but feel grateful that the eyes that hazily looked back at him was the familiar, warm mahoganies, that he had fantasized about for nights to no end. The eyes of Nite. _His_ Nite. ,,You, ahm… Do you have more questions?’’ he asked, almost shyly, grabbing the troll’s arms around his tiny body.

,,Plenty,’’ he chuckled. ,,But it’s a little hard to focus on, right now,’’ he admitted, kissing the small man.

,,A charmer, aren’t you?’’ he chuckled, but didn’t complain otherwise. ,,We don’t have to keep talking about it, if it bores you…’’ he said quietly.

,,It doesn’t bore me,’’ he promised. ,,I have millions of questions about your travel, who you met and how the circle was. I have millions of questions about how you want _our_ life to be, if we should just… _run for the hills_ , and leave this behind… Millions of questions about how all this magic function, or how I can help you, but… I don’t have to ask them _all_ right now… Because we’ll have the rest of our lives to figure all that out,’’ he smiled kindly.

,,Right,’’ he croaked, his eyes glossy again, but his smile was pure bliss. ,,That’s… all I ever wanted to hear…’’ he admitted, his cheeks warm and rosy.

,,… Are you mad at me, that I wasn’t ready to be lovers, back then?’’ he asked gently.

,,No,’’ he said, way too quickly. ,,… Yes…’’ he then corrected it to, closing his eyes. ,,I mean… I would rather _not_ have had to go through that… It was… _so_ unbearably lonely… I had _just_ gotten used to you, being around me at all times, and then… You can’t _imagine_ how it is, when the _only_ person you’ve _ever_ really felt a connection with… abandons you…’’ he whispered, his voice quivering and hurt.

,,I can’t,’’ he admitted. ,,I’ve had a lot of hurt in my life… but nothing like that… I did _everything_ I wanted to avoid doing… I don’t know if I’m a better man now, than back then, but I want to be,’’ he said slowly. ,, _I love you so much, my little Willow_ ,’’ he growled, feeling Nite jitter in his embrace. ,,… Too often?’’ he chuckled, when the human looked at him again.

,,No, I… It just seems to… have a _weird effect_ on my body,’’ he said confused.

,,Oh? Is that so?’’ the troll purred, gently lifting the sorcerer on to his lap with no further complaints.

,,No, not like that, perverted troll,’’ he chuckled against the green lips. ,, _Lifting me_ , though, has quiet an effect in itself,’’ he smirked, putting his arms around the troll’s shoulders again.

,,Then what did you mean?’’ he asked, holding tightly onto the still chuckling sorcerer.

,,It feels… overwhelming… Like when my magic overwhelms me, but… _lighter_ … Like, _the opposite_ of when my magic is overwhelming,’’ he said, a wondering look in his gaze. ,,I wonder if that was what caused the pain to go away? That you used my birthname?’’ he said softly, looking into the air.

,,… Why would the demon be opposed to your birthname?’’ Seymore asked confused. In a way, it made sense that this was the cause of Nite’s eyes turning brown, but it still didn’t explain _why_.

,,… Because I asked you to say it, maybe?’’ he wondered. ,,It took it as me _surrendering_ myself to you, maybe? I can’t say for sure. But it’s well aware that I don’t allow anyone to call me Wi-… Call me by my _birthname_ ,’’ he said, shuddering at the mere sound.

,,… Why is it that you don’t like your birthname? I mean, I have no problem with calling you Nite, I would have _never_ used your birthname, if you haven’t asked me to, but I’m… curious,’’ he said gently.

,,I don’t know. _Willow Greenlight_ just always felt _wrong_ for me, in some sense. My mother named me after _herself_ , _surely_ so I could keep up her legacy, or so I thought. I was pretty young, when I began to recent her, my name… myself…’’ he said bitterly, closing his eyes. Seymore had never really thought about _why_ Nite would change his name, other than he was rebellious and liked to defy his mother. Or, so he had thought in the past. ,,… And every time she uses that name, it just solidifies how _little_ she respects me. I named myself Nite, because… that’s what I wanted to be, when I grew up, _a knight_ ,’’ he shrugged. Seymore couldn’t help but chuckle, making the sorcerer’s fiery gaze look right back at him. ,, _What?_ ’’ he said warningly.

,,I’m sorry, my love, I just… I would have never guessed… I always thought you named yourself Nite, after _nighttime_ ,’’ he said, trying to caress the small man so he would be less angry with him.

,,That would probably have made more sense,’’ he mumbled, calming down a little. ,,I couldn’t spell knight back then. But, who has ever heard about a knight, that’s named Nite, anyway?’’ he sighed, leaning into the troll’s embrace.

,,I don’t think I’ve _ever_ heard about _anyone_ that’s named Nite,’’ the troll said gently. ,,I don’t think of you, as anyone else than Nite. For a long time, I did, that’s why I… I almost used that name, when we… You know, where together, for the first time,’’ he said shyly. ,,I don’t know _why_ , because I had called you Nite so many times before…’’ he shrugged. ,,But that’s… not the first time, I used your birthname…’’

,,What? I don’t remember you’ve _ever_ used Wi-… _My birthname_ , other than… right now,’’ he said confused. Seymore kissed his forehead, seemingly trying to avoid looking into his eyes.

,,That’s because you don’t remember that day, in general,’’ he said regretfully. Nite didn’t say anything for a moment, before the troll heard a small _oh_ underneath his breath. ,,I never told you _why_ you got so mad at me, that day, other than that I needed to clean your room. You were not that mad, before I asked you, _by name_ , to leave the room, so I could clean it. I am pretty polite, even towards a five-year-old, and while your mother _had_ informed me that you didn’t like your name and had chosen another one for yourself… I couldn’t remember it… I couldn’t _imagine_ that you would get so mad at me, for using that name,’’ he said slowly.

,,… You never told me that…’’ he said, almost accusingly.

,,No,’’ he said, finally looking at the man on his lap again. ,,I was… ashamed, I think? I never _blamed_ you for doing as you did, but I know… I know your mother did… And I felt very bad, for in a sense, I felt it was my fault…’’ he said apologetic.

,,What? _No_ , no matter _how_ much I _despise_ that name, I _shouldn’t_ be running around, blowing up peoples’ faces!’’ he said hastily. ,,Did you think it would make me _mad_ , if you told me _?_ ’’ he asked, the hurt clear in his voice.

,,Maybe… I mean… I _know_ I just tried to do my job, but… I _never_ thought about how your mother reacted. I never _wondered_ what she did. And I… I first really _realized_ how little she helped you, that night she went away on her first long travel…’’ he said, cupping the small man’s cheeks. ,,And I’m so sorry. I’m sorry, for not being there before. I’m sorry I always trusted that she was an adult, struggling with an unruly child,’’ he said softly.

,,I don’t blame you for that. I understand why you believed my mother, and didn’t saw… _me_ , so to speak… And I _was_ an unruly child, but she just… wasn’t _motherly_ enough, to handle me. You were so young yourself, and she treated you like the adult _I_ know you weren’t,’’ he said gently. ,,… It’s _me_ that should be sorry, Seymore,’’ he said, tracing the scars on his face. ,,… I never apologized for this… Not _really_ … _I’m sorry_ that I hurt you… I’m sorry for the times I tricked you with my magic or didn’t respect your boundaries… I’m sorry that I didn’t try to make up, after you left my room, that morning…’’ he said. His eyes were big and sincere, and Seymore smiled down at him.

,,Thank you, my love,’’ he said, leaning down to kiss the small man again. He could never get enough of him, despite his heavy heart. ,,… I believe it’s my turn, to tell you a story,’’ he whispered nervously. Nite didn’t seem to catch on immediately, as the troll stretched his back to gather his courage. ,,Are you done with your breakfast?’’ he asked, looking at the half-empty plate.

,,Uh, almost. Give me a minute,’’ he said, climbing down from his comfortable spot on the troll’s lap. Seymore began to clean the kitchen, while Nite hurried with eating, eyeing the troll questioningly. ,,… What kind of story?’’ he finally asked, finishing the rest of his fruit.

,,… I believe I promised to tell you a little more _why_ I left the Center Isles, and _how_ I found the castle,’’ he said, feeling his heart race. He didn’t want to talk about Ruvaen. He didn’t want to ingulf Nite in all his insecurities, but on the other hand… He knew he needed to.

,,… It doesn’t have to be _right now_ , if you’re not ready,’’ Nite said gently, handing his plate to the troll, but Seymore just shook his head.

,,I’ll never be more ready than now,’’ he promised, turning around to meet the suddenly nervous man in front of him. ,,Let’s find a good spot, to sit and relax in. I… I promise that I’ll be honest with you, no matter what kind of questions you may ask,’’ he said, smiling regretfully. Nite took his hands, giving them a quick squeeze, before he guided the troll out of the kitchen and further down the hallway.

At first, Seymore thought he would head for his bedroom, but Nite kept going. He then thought they would sit in the study chamber, but to his surprise, the young man stopped in front of the living room, that the troll barely noticed him use. The room was dark, as most rooms in this part of the castle was, but there was a graciously big couch they could sit and relax in, as Nite began to light up the place with his tiny, fairy-like crystals of magic.

,,You don’t mind, do you?’’ the sorcerer asked, looking back at the troll, who gently shook his head. If Seymore hadn’t been so alert about the topic itself, he might have found the whole scenario romantic, as Nite leaned his head against the troll’s shoulder, relaxing into the warmth and comfort of his lover. ,,What are you so afraid of, love?’’ he gently whispered, as the troll tried to find his words. It felt soothing, the way Nite called him love. He hoped he felt the same way, when he used it for him.

,,… That you’ll see me as broken,’’ he admitted. ,,I… I’ve been around _a lot more_ than I like to talk about… And I… I’m afraid that you’ll compare yourself to a man you’ve never met…’’ he said hesitantly. He could feel a reassuring hand on his arm, as Nite leaned up to kiss his cheeks. His face felt warm against him.

,,… Truth be told, I’ll _always_ compare myself to him, Seymore. It doesn’t make it better that I don’t know _what_ I’m comparing myself to. I _don’t know_ if I’ll stop when I know more about him, but I want to know of _your past_ , more than anything. I want to know _every single thing_ about you. And… he was a part of that… and that’s… That’s okay…’’ he said, but he didn’t sound so convincing.

,,You’re not him, Nite. And that’s not a bad thing,’’ he said, pulling the small man against his body.

,,… I sometimes wonder why you’re _with me_ , when you could _have_ someone like a pixie…’’ he said truthfully. ,,I mean, I’m nowhere _near_ as-,’’ he began, but the troll interrupted.

,,I don’t want a pixie,’’ he whispered. ,,I don’t want anyone else… I thought I didn’t need anyone at all, but I do… I want _all_ of this… But I’m afraid to scare you off…’’ he admitted.

,,You won’t,’’ he promised. ,,I can’t _imagine_ that a promiscuous lifestyle or low self-esteem can scare me away… It _won’t_ scare me away,’’ he corrected himself.

With this, Seymore sighed, stretched his back and tried to steady his heart that felt like it ripped his throat apart. The fairy lights made the room look magical and calming, in a way he would never have thought he would say. Magic had never calmed him. But now, it reminded him of Nite. Of gentle touches and undying trust, and someone, who didn’t need him to be much else, besides himself.

All of himself…

,,Okay… This might not be as interesting as you think… But… maybe it can bring me peace, to talk about it… I’ve…’’ he began, looking at the small human at his side, so attentively looking at him. ,,I’ve never told a soul about this,’’ he smiled sadly, looking at the wondering gaze in the human’s eyes.

,, _Never?_ ’’ he asked quietly and he shook his head.

,,I never thought I would need to,’’ he admitted. ,,But… Let me tell you a _story_ … A story, about a young troll, trying to chase a dream…’’


	19. 19) Seymore

,,Really? There’s _no_ open positions at all?’’ he asked quietly. He felt the dread run through his body, as the fairy shook her head. She tried to look polite, but he could tell she wanted him to go away. ,,I’m not asking for much, I swear. I don’t mind just helping around, no offer is too small,’’ he tried, hopefully.

,,Look, kid… It’s not _really_ my responsibility, but our coordinator is not around, right now…’’ she tried, beginning to walk away, but Seymore followed her. The tent was big, but overrun by many different kinds of people, and while he was set on his goal, it was hard not to look around and stare, at all these kinds of creatures he had never even seen in person before. His first impression of the Center Isles of overwhelming curiosity had faded just the slightest by now, but he still found it all so interesting that it was hard to focus on the task ahead. The fairy he had spoken to tried to ignore him, but his legs were longer than hers, and he easily caught up to her. ,,Listen, _sweety_ , I really don’t want to be rude, but I don’t think you’re exactly _fit_ for the job,’’ she said, her sweet tone suddenly bitter and harsh.

He had already been told that. He had searched for every acting troupe he could find, _desperately_ searching for the troupe he and his brother had watched on his 16th year birthday, but they were long gone. While he wasn’t _exactly_ sure they would have taken him in with open arms, it wasn’t easier to get a job with people who didn’t know him at all.

Seymore wasn’t a bad actor. But he was a fresh out, 17-year old-troll, from the middle of nowhere, who barely spoke the common language and looked _nothing_ like the fair, pretty creatures who dominated the scenes.

,,Miss, _please_ , it doesn’t have to be on the stage. I can take care of other things, just give me a chance,’’ he pleaded. She rolled her eyes and tapped with her foot against the grass, looking up at the tall, young troll in front of her.

,,Do you play any instruments?’’ He shook his head. He guessed bouhs wasn’t a thing here, a troll, flute-like instrument, that he could _barely_ play. ,,You’re athletic?’’ she asked, looking him from top to toe, clearly not counting much on it.

,,I, ahm… no…’’ he sighed.

,,Then _what_ am I supposed to offer you, regarding a job? You want to be an _actor_ , I assume? But you can _barely_ keep yourself upright, and I can _barely_ understand you, so _what_ should possess me to hire some half-troll, that have no talents?’’ she asked harshly. He felt the sting, but tried not to let her see how glossy his eyes got. He didn’t even feel like correcting her.

Seymore didn’t belong here, so much were clear. Unlike the other troupes he had visited, that, _apologetically_ , had to inform him they couldn’t take him in, this woman didn’t want him here. Other troupes had had a variety of species, but this one seemed very streamlined, with mostly fairies, elves and harpies. And although there were plenty of different species, they were all considered _attractive_ , for all he knew.

This was his last hope. But if he truly didn’t belong here, would it even be worth it? He couldn’t just _go home_ , he would be laughed out of his village if he ever tried to explain this to his parents.

,,What’s the matter, Ivy?’’ A deep, soft voice came from behind him, and he turned around to gaze upon a small man, with blue, kind eyes, as he walked up to the troll and fairy.

,,It’s this _kid_ ,’’ she complained, gesturing to Seymore. Although he was much taller than both of them, he felt small underneath her gaze. ,,He wants a job, but I’ve told him no, and now he won’t le-,’’ she began, but the man just simply held up his hand, eyeing the troll curiously.

,,Is that so?’’ he said, ignoring the fairies protests. ,,So what’s your deal?’’ he asked, a voice so graceful that Seymore almost forgot to answer.

,,I, ahm… I don’t expect much, sir. I… I can cook and clean, I’m very hardworking and ready to learn a lot, if I get the opportunity…’’ he started, but the pixie just chuckled lightly, until he stopped speaking. He wondered if he had gotten the words wrong?

,,No, no, I mean, _what’s your dream?_ Why are you _here?_ ’’ he asked interested. ,,You’re not some _servant boy_ , you’re here for adventures, right?’’ he asked, when the flustered troll tried to construct a sentence.

,,Aye,’’ he smiled, nodding slightly. ,,I… I want to be an actor… And I _know_ that’s not possible, _right this instant_ , but I was hoping… with time… that I could… ahm, I could get on the stage? I’ll be _more_ than willing to help with other tasks, of course, whatever it takes…’’ he said slowly, his voice too deep and raspy, but it seemed like the pixie understood him without problems.

,,See, _that’s_ what I’m after,’’ he smiled, patting the troll on the arm, as he couldn’t reach his shoulder.

,,Ruvaen, you can’t be _serious_ ,’’ the fairy said, making them both look back at the unsatisfied woman. ,,… This is not _it_. You can’t just _do these things_ because you have… _an idea_ ,’’ she scolded. The way she spat out the words seemed to fluster the pixie, that for the first time looked anything else than calm.

,,Okay, you might be right,’’ he said, smiling anew, in an overly exaggerated way. ,,Because we have _tons_ of people who are _ideal_ for setting a scene, or who can carry a lot of stuff around. Just _look at your muscles_ , Ivy! Spectacular!’’ he said ironically, making the fairy huff. ,,Seriously, what’s the worst that can happen? It’s not like we couldn’t _need_ extra hands. The young man is even offering to do the dirty work, and you’re going to reject _that?_ ’’ he said confused.

She didn’t answer, she just left, mumbling something underneath her breath that Seymore rather wouldn’t hear. Her long, black hair danced behind her as she went on her way, her thin, see-through wings shuddering as she did so, leaving the troll with, what he assumed, was the man in charge.

,,When can you begin, Mr. … I didn’t get your name, did I?’’ he asked, looking up at the ecstatic troll.

,,Oatoak, sir. Seymore Oatoak,’’ he smiled, gently shaking the pixies hand when he held it out.

,,Welcome on board, Seymore. I’m Ruvaen Fleuress, event coordinator and co-founder of this troupe,’’ he smiled. The pixie had only just retrieved his hand, when the troll picked him up, swinging him around happily, overjoyed and overwhelmed by finally having some place to stay. He didn’t notice how startled it made the small man, before he heard a soft: ,,People are staring, kid,’’ from the pixie, making him stop in motion and place the small man down again.

,,I’m sorry,’’ he croaked, blushing slightly. ,,I… don’t know what I was thinking,’’ he chuckled nervously, trying to cover his face with his hand. ,, _Embarrassing,_ ’’ he growled, hopefully quietly enough to not be noticed.

,,It’s alright,’’ the pixie chuckled, spreading out his arms in a welcoming gesture. ,,You’re _happy_ , that’s _wonderful!_ ’’ he smiled, making the troll’s nerves ease a bit. ,,Come on, let me show you around. We’re not going to stay here for too long, but let me get you up to speed with everything,’’ he said warmly.

Unlike other troupes he had visited, Ruvaen’s troupe was bigger, and much more versatile with what they performed with. Sure, there were musicians in the other troupes as well, but Ruvaen embraced all kinds of arts, from poets and bards, acrobats and daredevils alike. The job wasn’t well paid, but the food was free, and he had a place to sleep at night, all while he got to see a little of the Center Isles, and trying to fulfill his dream of being on stage.

The place they stayed was merely a big tent, up on a hill not too far from the nearby town. It was a good location, easy to get to the town, easy to get further into the bigger cities on the island. Although it was cramped, Seymore never felt suffocated, even if he did feel lonely.

He had felt lonely before, but life in the Oatoak clan was vastly different from life in the Center Isles. Here, people didn’t notice as much that he was a small troll. He guessed most of them thought he _was_ a child, if not just another hybrid, but he didn’t really mind that. Everything was better than to be treated as a half-breed, in an all-troll society.

At night, he would sneak out of the tent, climbing trees to look at the stars. The stars were the same as at home, or so he had assumed when he came here, but they didn’t look like the same stars. These were brighter, it seemed. Maybe Ugnarr was just a hazy place, or maybe everything looked brighter, when you didn’t feel suffocated in your own family, he thought.

,,Having trouble sleeping?’’ a kind voice sounded behind him. He nearly fell from the tree, but got caught by a surprisingly firm hand. ,,Easy now, kid, you’re going to break something if you’re not careful,’’ he chuckled as the troll got his beating heart under control.

,,You scared me,’’ he groaned, looking as the pixie sat down beside him.

,,Didn’t mean to,’’ he said quietly, looking up at the stars as well.

Ruvaen was the only one, who really talked to him. It wasn’t much, but it didn’t need to be. The troll was pretty used to be ignored in his village, so this wasn’t much difference. Sure, he had had his sister at home, but she was already plotting on her own escape, and then, who would he really have had?

,,Homesick?’’ the pixie asked after a while. Seymore shook his head, trying not to laugh at the statement.

,,Not at all,’’ he said, his accent still thick and growly. ,,Didn’t really fit in, back home,’’ he said rather softly. It felt weird to admit it. Not bad, but far from relieving, either. Ruvaen didn’t say anything, he just looked up at the stars, as Seymore did. ,,… Don’t really fit in here, either, I guess…’’ he chuckled sadly, finally looking at the pixie, who stared dreamingly up at the sky.

,,It’s funny,’’ he said, as if he didn’t notice the troll at all. ,,Up here, it should be like with the stars, right? No one tells the stars to move, if they aren’t bright enough, or if they aren’t big enough,’’ he smiled, looking at the troll again. ,,I also enjoyed looking up at the stars, when I first arrived here. This island has _exceptionally_ clear sky, you can see everything up there,’’ he said.

Seymore hadn’t really thought about it before; how big and blue the pixies eyes really were. For a moment, he suddenly felt overwhelmed by the mere fact that a creature so stunningly would look at him, let alone _talk_ with him, but he shook the feeling away, knowing it was just the pixie’s aura that made him feel like that. _It had to be_ , he thought to himself.

Seymore didn’t answer him. He just nodded, before he returned his gaze to the big nothingness of black and sparkles on the sky.

He wondered if Ruvaen was as kind to all of his staff…

,,You never talk much about yourself,’’ the pixie noted, making the troll look at him again, catching his soft gaze. For how long had Ruvaen observed him, this quietly and curious?

,,There’s not much to say,’’ he shrugged, trying not to seem unfriendly.

,,Really?’’ the pixie chuckled. ,,You’re a troll, aren’t you?’’ he asked, making Seymore blush. He nodded calmly and looked down. ,,And you’re going to tell me, that it has brought you _no_ trouble, being a small troll? You’re not _that_ young, I can’t imagine that.’’

,,… I’m not,’’ he admitted. ,,And yes… It has brought me trouble to be… _like this_ …’’ he said quietly.

,,That’s why you’re here?’’ Seymore nodded again, but didn’t indicate that he wanted to talk more about it. ,,You’re a man of few words, Seymore,’’ he said, chuckling again. The silence grew between them, and the troll almost thought that he had insulted the small man, when Ruvaen suddenly spoke again: ,,I have an idea: A trade,’’ he said triumphantly.

,,A trade?’’ the troll asked confused.

,, _A trade_ ,’’ he smirked. ,,I’ll tell you one thing about myself, and you’ll tell me something about you,’’ he said confidentially. Seymore hesitated, before he chuckled himself.

,,Why would you want to know _anything_ about me?’’ he asked confused. The pixie moved a little closer, as if he was about to reveal a grand secret, even making Seymore lean down so the small man could whisper in his ear:

,,It’s very simple: People fascinate me. And I’ve never met anyone _quite_ like you.’’ Something lingered in Seymore at the words. He couldn’t remember anyone ever describing him as _fascinating_. It made him feel a little bolder and warmer inside, as he chuckled again.

,,Okay, then. What do you want to know?’’ he asked gently. The pixie smiled, the white teeth sparkling like the stars above them.

,, _Everything_.’’

That night, Seymore told him about how it felt like being the smallest troll, in an all-troll village, where even the younger kids soon towered over him. He told a little about his parents, but a lot about Feylin, making him smile at the thought of his sister. In return, Ruvaen told how he founded the troupe, with only a few friends on hand. Now the crew were well over 30 people, all traveling across the Center Isles, as they performed in a plethora of ways.

The next time they sat like this, Seymore told a little more about not only being an abnormal troll on the outside, but also just in general. He liked to read, and he wasn’t as interested in troll traditions as his parents _surely_ had wanted him to be. He loved playing the bouh, but was never any good at it. Ruvaen promised to help teach him to play the flute, and Seymore felt grateful for the offer.

The next three nights, they played flute for hours while looking at stars.

After that, it took another three nights, before he saw Ruvaen in the tree again. While Seymore had started stargazing as a relaxing, nightly activity, it had become something different, at this point. The pixie was charismatic and kind, but mostly, their interactions held the loneliness at bay, and the nights he spent time with Ruvaen made it a little easier for him throughout the next day.

On the fourth day, he was just about to climb down the tree, as Ruvaen with feather-light motions jumped on the branches to get up to him. The pixie _apologized_ for his absence, and told him about all the more boring parts of being an event coordinator.

He told Seymore about how he himself had a passion for acting. About plays he had acted out, places he had gone to perform, and the thrill of the stage, Seymore still had yet to experience for himself. The troll ate up every word, and told him about his brief involvement on his 16th birthday, where he finally found out what he wanted to do with his life.

If Seymore hadn’t been so enchanted with the stars as he spoke that night, he might have noticed how Ruvaen looked at him with those icy, blue eyes, just as attentive as the troll himself had been…

When Seymore had been at the troupe for about a month, he dreadfully wrote to his parents, to let them know he was okay. Or, as okay as he could be. He wasn’t _worse of_ , than before, he consoled himself as he sent the letter.

He kept sitting in the tree at night, hoping his little pixie friend would grace him with his spare-time. When he did, they talked for hours, about just about everything. Seymore rarely wanted to talk about his troubles, but Ruvaen made it all too easy for him. He told him more about his siblings, living with his birth defect and his strained relationship with his parents, than he had ever done before.

About two months after he had left his village, Ruvaen spoke the words he had never heard before, rarely even thought about, but which woke something within him, he didn’t understand:

,,It’s because you’re into men, that they’re so harsh, isn’t it?’’ When Seymore didn’t answer, feeling all color in his face drain, Ruvaen continued: ,,I mean, I don’t know how troll’s are, with gay folks. I just know that… the West isn’t always the most… _Well, you know_ , progressive with stuff like that,’’ he shrugged, finally looking back at the flustered troll.

,,… I am not into men…’’ he croaked, feeling the blood rush all too quickly back to his face. He was sure the pixie noticed, because his eyes widened at the words.

,, _Oh_ ,’’ he chuckled, nervously. _Almost uncomfortably_. ,,I… uhm, I’m sorry… I don’t know why I just assumed that was the case…’’ he admitted. Seymore wanted to drop the topic more than anything, but he had a slight tingle he couldn’t get rid of. When he looked back at the pixie, he was unfaced as if this was something he experienced rather often. _Maybe it was_.

,,… How, ahm… How do _pixies_ react to… To such things?’’ he stammered slowly, trying to seem nonchalant, but failing oh so terribly.

,,Pixies are pretty chill about that,’’ he shrugged, and Seymore felt his heart race at the words. ,,My parents never made a big deal about it, regardless if I brough back boyfriends or girlfriends,’’ he said, looking back at the troll, which mouth hang slight agape.

Seymore had never met _anyone_ who was gay. Not as far as he knew, at least. Let alone someone who didn’t really care about _what_ gender they brought home to their families. The sly smile on the pixie’s face made his eyes seek safety up in the sky, but the words rang in his head.

,,… Troll’s don’t really talk about such stuff…’’ he finally said, as he felt the blue eyes burn on his person.

,,I guessed as much,’’ he smiled. As if Ruvaen could see through him, he tried to speak again, in a much more calming, _soothing_ tone: ,,I didn’t mean anything bad with it, Seymore. _Really._ I’m sorry if it makes you uncomfortable, I just… Well, I guess I guessed wrong,’’ he shrugged.

,,No, no, it’s fine… I mean, I just never… No one has ever… Well, not as far as I know…’’ he mumbled, scratching his arm lightly. ,, _No one ever called me gay before_ ,’’ he growled quietly, knowing all too well that Ruvaen wouldn’t understand it, but it felt more comfortable to deal with it like this.

Ruvaen didn’t mention it again. He acted like it hadn’t happened at all, which made Seymore feel even _more_ weird about it. Had Ruvaen started to talk to him, because he thought Seymore were gay? That was the main question he couldn’t get out of his head, when he laid in bed at night, listening to tens of people’s uneven snoring. Why would such a beautiful creature even _consider_ him as anything other than a colleague?

 _Huh_. He had never really viewed Ruvaen like that before, he thought, feeling a pit of uneasiness in his stomach…

Despite _knowing_ pixies were beautiful, he had never really thought much about how small and slender Ruvaen was. Or the way his golden hair always were tied up, making it easy to mistake him for a woman, if you walked behind him… Or the big, bright smile, that always made Seymore feel a little better when he saw it…

Or those big, beautiful ice-blue eyes, that pierced through his very soul…

He stopped stargazing at night, for a while. He still greeted the pixie when he walked past him, doing his chores, but he rarely stopped to talk for more than a few minutes at a time. Ruvaen hadn’t done anything wrong, he reminded himself. He hadn’t been rude, it wasn’t an _insult_ , it was just a _question_.

But why did he feel so weird about it, then? He had never _known_ that Ruvaen was gay… Or, he wasn’t gay, he liked girls as well, it seemed. He had always just taken the pixie for being charismatic, but now he wondered, when he looked at the man walking around, talking with people around him, if he was being friendly or if he was being flirty?

As Seymore did his chores, moving boxes around, it was hard to keep up with where everyone went. He was tall, but often times carrying more boxes than he probably should. The faster he could get it done, the better, but it didn’t leave much room for navigating around the already pretty crowded area.

He felt a solid frame in front of him and dropped one of the boxes he carried. He wasn’t as nervous, as it was only clothes inside it, but still sat the other boxes down, collecting the fabric that had been scattered, when he finally noticed what he had bumped into.

,,Oh,’’ he said surprised, looking down at Ruvaen. The pixie seemed surprised as well, but not angry with him, at least. ,,I’m sorry, I didn’t see you,’’ he tried, hurrying with collecting the clothes.

,,That’s alright, kid,’’ he said gently, helping the troll as he filled the box. ,,Haven’t seen you much lately. You’re doing alright?’’ he asked casually. Seymore tried to act natural, but he could feel his throat tighten.

,,Yerh, pretty fine…’’ he mumbled, but he _knew_ the pixie hadn’t bought it.

,,… You know, for a troll who wants to be an actor, you’re a terrible liar,’’ Ruvaen chuckled. Seymore huffed, but he knew it was true. The pixie still didn’t seem angry, if anything… he looked hurt.

,,… I know,’’ he said instead, picking up the boxes again, as he began to walk. ,,I haven’t really had the opportunity to practice,’’ he said over his shoulder. Ruvaen followed him, guiding him gently around so he wouldn’t bump into anyone else, by placing a hand on his arm. The warm hand was oddly distracting. 

,,… I could teach you,’’ he said, when the troll got the boxes packed away into their destined closet. He looked down at the pixie again, wondering if this would be wise? As if he feared it would somehow make him gay, to stay around Ruvaen for too long. But on the other hand, this would be the easiest way to get some experience with acting.

,,When?’’ he finally asked, feeling the slight tingle again as the pixie’s eyes lit up with anticipation.

,,You’re done now, aren’t you?’’ he asked, gesturing to the boxes. Seymore’s browbone furrowed, as he looked around him.

,,If not Ivy has any jobs, _especially for me_ ,’’ he said, trying his hardest not to roll his eyes.

,,Yerh, she can be a stick-in-the-mud,’’ he chuckled, gently guiding the troll with him, out of the tent. It somehow felt… _weird_. _Forbidden_ … It had _never_ felt like this with Ruvaen before, but he couldn’t help to suddenly realize how other people might view it.

,,Don’t you have work to do yourself?’’ he asked when they stepped outside. People worked out here, too, setting up a scene for the next-coming show, that would be one of the last they would perform while being on this island.

,,This _is_ part of my job, Seymore,’’ he said, almost pulling the troll with him. The contrast was so weird to him; this small, dainty creature, who pulled away with the big, lanky troll, his body feeling stiff and awkward. ,,You don’t _really_ believe I took you in so you could wash tables and carry heavy stuff around, did you?’’ he asked, when they found a spot, unoccupied by other people.

For a brief moment, he almost thought that Ruvaen had a whole _other_ set of plans for them, as he leaned forward towards the troll. But then he pulled away, his smile as bright as ever, as he tossed the troll an apple, he hadn’t even noticed he had had with him.

,,What do you have there, young man?’’ Ruvaen asked, frightened, _distressed_. It took Seymore a moment to get back to reality, realizing what the pixie tried to do, before he looked at the apple in his hands.

,,Oh, this ol’ thing? It’s nothing, really, nothing,’’ he shrugged, uninterested as he threw the apple up and down. ,,It’s just my very _experimental_ and _unstable_ … _bomb!_ ’’ he said, the fright in his voice real when he suddenly dropped the apple. Nothing happened when it hit the ground, and Ruvaen, who had tried to shield himself, looked confused and puzzled up at the troll. ,,Oh, I guess I’m not the best at building bombs,’’ he smiled, picking up the apple again. Ruvaen chuckled, giving him a small applause.

,,You’re actually not half-bad. I think I can work with this,’’ he smiled, walking around the troll, making Seymore feel watched again. But more than anything, the words rang in his head and made his heart flutter.

,,Really?’’ he smiled.

,, _Really_ ,’’ he assured him, stopping in front of the troll again. ,,I want you on that stage _tomorrow_ ,’’ he said, looking behind himself to gesture to the empty stage.

Regardless of his hopes and his own, blue-eyed naivety, he hadn’t _actually_ thought he would get on stage. Maybe in a couple of _years_ , if he was lucky. Or maybe if they were out of actors. His accent was still thick, people still had trouble understanding him, and besides that, he knew _nothing_ about how to play, what the play was even _about_ or what his role would be. It suddenly felt all too overwhelming.

He wondered briefly if this was some sort of revenge, for avoiding the pixie after their talk. But if Ruvaen had ill intentions, he couldn’t spot them in his gentle face.

,,… Really?’’ he croaked, feeling his palms get sweaty.

,,Sure. We’ll do a quick warm up, you and I, before the main event takes place. It’s no problem, really,’’ he said genuinely. But Seymore didn’t look as happy, as he apparently had anticipated. ,,What’s wrong?’’ he asked, concern painted in the ice-blue eyes.

,,… I don’t know,’’ he admitted. ,,Are you sure we’ll be ready for tomorrow? I mean, I didn’t think it would happen so fast, my accent-,’’ he began when Ruvaen interrupted.

,,Look at me, Seymore,’’ he said firmly, gaining the troll’s full attention. ,,You’re not hard to understand. Ivy is a prick. And if I didn’t think we could be ready by then, I wouldn’t suggest it. This is _my job_. I’ve done this for nearly _40 years_.’’ He sighed, massaging his temples with closed eyes for a moment. ,,You’re acting _so weird_ around me. It’s because I asked if you were gay, right?’’ he asked outright.

,,No…’’ he lied, but Ruvaen’s stern gaze didn’t budge. ,,… Yes….’’ he groaned, hiding his face in his big hands. ,,I’m sorry, I didn’t want to act weird about it! I’m not… I’m not _used_ to life here, I got _confused,_ I, I began to _think_ about _why_ you assumed I was-!’’ he began, but Ruvaen cut him off again.

,,You’re _so loud_ ,’’ he shushed him, trying to get the young man to calm down. ,,I cannot _fix_ this, if you don’t talk with me,’’ he said slowly, sincerely. Seymore felt his breath steady a bit, before he nodded, still looking at the distressed pixie before him. ,,I just thought you were gay, because of all the small things you’ve told me, and the bits I know about the West. About how strained your relationship with your parents are, and just… _everything about that_. I’ve _met_ troll’s, but I’ve never met troll’s _like you_. That’s not a _bad thing_ , Seymore,’’ he said truthfully.

,,I _know_ it’s not _bad_ to be gay, I don’t mind if you’re into dudes, I just… All my life I’ve been told I’m a weird, small, scrawny troll… I just wonder if… If _everyone_ thinks I’m…’’ he tried, breathing hard again. He couldn’t contain the question that had lingered on his mind, ever since that day: ,,Is that why you talked to me? Because you thought… that I…’’ he began, but regretted it the moment the words left his lips.

,,No,’’ he pixie said firmly, his gaze never leaving the amber eyes. Seymore felt a slight sting of something, resembling disappointment.

,,… Okay,’’ he said, his eyes flickering down. Had he _liked_ the thought that Ruvaen flirted with him? But then again, why would he? He was just a troll, after all. A _broken_ troll. ,,… I’m not you’re type?’’ he asked, before he could stop himself. Ruvaen looked at him for a moment, long and hard, before he smirked.

,,Oh you’re my type, that’s not it. But I don’t like to get involved with _straight_ men, like that,’’ he said casually. Seymore didn’t know why, but he almost felt insulted by the way he spoke those words. ,,I didn’t begin to talk to you, because I hoped I could get a _piece of that_. It’s just how I am, I _like_ to get to know the people I _work with_ ,’’ he said calculated. The way his eyes glimmered made Seymore find it hard to catch his breath, and he walked a couple of steps back.

Seymore opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, but nothing else than a small whimper came out. He didn’t understand why it made him so upset, or why he suddenly felt so flustered all anew. He then sighed again, mumbling curses underneath his breath.

,,I’m sorry for making things weird,’’ the troll finally said, scratching the back of his head nervously. ,,I, ahm… Yes, I would like to perform, tomorrow… I’m just nervous…’’ he admitted.

,,About being alone with me?’’ Ruvaen asked gently.

,, _No_ , not that,’’ he said, lying pretty decently this time. Either Ruvaen didn’t notice, or he didn’t call him out for it. ,,The only stage I’ve been on was… _much smaller_ , with less people attending than the shows here,’’ he admitted. ,,I’m afraid… that people will see me, for what I am… Just some… village fool, a defective troll, some-,’’ he began, but Ruvaen stopped him, yet again.

,,They won’t,’’ he promised. ,,Not unless you _act_ like that. Because even if you act like _yourself_ … that’s _not_ who you are, Seymore,’’ he said firmly. He looked at the pixie for a moment, before he nodded, sighing with relief.

,,… Okay. I trust you.’’ And this time, he didn’t have to lie.

That night changed more than he could have ever hoped for. When he finally stepped on the stage, to perform with Ruvaen at his side, he forgot who he _had been_ , and became a whole other person. The thrill made him be all what he was supposed to be; confident, intuitive and funny. The crowd clapped and cheered, and none seemed to care about his height or his accent, no one could see how fast his heart raced when he left the stage, and no one knew how _whole_ he felt. None saw a broken troll who had fled his village.

If Seymore had been in doubt about this as a career choice before, he wasn’t anymore. Ruvaen _praised_ him, but it was hard to hear over his own loud heartbeat. And while the crew itself didn’t outright applaud him, they didn’t pick on him, either.

That same night, a young hybrid woman wandered up to him backstage, poked him on the shoulder and whispered for him to come with her. It was hard to see what she was a hybrid of at first, but he guessed she was at least half goblin, judging on her small stature and greyish skin. He didn’t even have time to wonder _why_ she had asked for him to follow her, before they went into a cramped closet, closing the door behind them, but it became all too clear when she kissed him on the mouth, _soft and tenderly_.

He hadn’t been with a woman for some time, now. Not that he had been with that many women _in general_. But he had _never_ been with anyone besides troll women, who towered above him, that could easily pin him down and throw him off if he was too rough, or who could barely feel if he was inside them or not.

This woman didn’t have that advantage.

He clumsily kissed his way from her lips to her neck, feeling his hard-on press uncomfortably against the young woman who gasped as it poked her. He was aware _she_ probably didn’t think he was _too small_. For a moment, he actually thought she would leave the closet, but then she whimpered for him to be gentle…

He wasn’t. He knew he wasn’t, and he tried so desperately to be, but he was too eager when he all too soon pressed against her wet, warm folds, pushing too fast and not giving her time to adjust, as he gently held her in his arms. He _tried_ to keep the pace slow, but that didn’t change how _hard_ he pressed into her. His kisses didn’t drown out her whimpers, but his mind was too clouded to notice anything but his building excitement.

At least he had the decency to not come inside her, he thought as he felt his cum drip onto the floor. He had to remind himself about cleaning that up, later, he thought as she began to put her clothes back on.

,,I, ahm… You don’t want me to get you off…?’’ he asked awkwardly, but she just shook her head. She didn’t even look at him. ,,Do you want to go somewhere else? I can buy you a drink?’’ he tried instead, but she shook her head again, making her long, brown curls swirl around her face, hiding her big, brown eyes. She left while he still tried to put his clothes back on, his head spinning around in confusion.

At least he didn’t think of Ruvaen, anymore…

He didn’t get to be on stage often, but just enough that he still had a lingering hope to _be_ an actor. Ruvaen helped him, and was in general his main provider of socializing. But Ruvaen was _everyone’s_ friend. He was liked and respected, and that alone made the other’s not to be downright _cruel_ towards Seymore.

Ruvaen became his mentor, but much more, he became his friend. Maybe the first friend he had ever had, besides Feylin? He told him secrets and jokes, and stayed up at night, far past his bedtime. He came to him when he was homesick or had troubles with other people, troubles with girls or troubles with acting. Or himself. But mostly, he listened, to every, single word the pixie spoke.

He never got bored of listening to his stories. Ruvaen didn’t look to be much older than himself, but the pixie was well over 300 years old, a mere nothing for his specie, and much older than Seymore would ever be himself. But he had seen the world, experienced people and he had _so many stories_ , that Seymore never could get enough of his voice, so calm and light, that made him relax at night, or awake doing the boring parts of his day-job.

Seymore hadn’t really left to the Center Isles to get laid, but he found himself surprisingly popular every time he had been on stage. The women weren’t _elves_ or _fairies_ , but he didn’t care about that. Every woman was some form of pretty in Seymore’s eyes.

He liked broad hips and heavy frames, so it didn’t scare him off with chubby or hefty set women, as it did with many of the other men in the troupe. But he didn’t dislike small, slender women either, which were surprisingly common in the Center Isles. Most of the species that he was lucky enough to _woo_ , was smaller than himself, either by height, frame or both.

The heavy lifting, he did throughout the day, had made his body strong. When he looked in the mirror, he felt more confident, but he still didn’t look like a troll. He lacked fat, and his muscles were too defined, to compare with the big and broad bodies his brothers had. His hair had grown, quite a lot during the years he had lived here, and the dark, coarse locks didn’t get cut off. He was _so proud_ of his hair, that he dreaded losing, like trolls did in due time. He was still young, but it wouldn’t take more than a decade or two before it would be gone for good, and he intended to enjoy it while it was still there.

Over two years after he joined the troupe, he had his first _real_ role. While he was thankful for all the times he had been on stage with Ruvaen, nothing could compare to _this_. He might not have had the leading role, but he didn’t need to. The sheer rush of getting on the stage, as part of _the main event_ was everything he had wanted for _so long_ , that it was hard to imagine when it happened.

This was their last show on this particular island. They celebrated like only entertainers could, throwing a party in the local inn. They rented every single room, as they were about to travel yet again, to yet another island, and Ruvaen wanted to splurge on their last night in town.

While they didn’t all have their own rooms, Seymore found himself lucky enough that night to have one for himself. At the inn, he had found the most adorable doe girl, that now sat on his bed for tonight. She was by far the prettiest woman, by the standards of the Center Isles at least, that had graced his person, and he felt all kinds of excited as he leaned in over her, when she laid down on the bed.

He didn’t rush it as much, anymore. Maybe experience had taught him some things, or maybe it was because he felt a little numb by alcohol. Seymore was a lightweight drinker, but he wasn’t _that_ drunk yet, at least not drunk enough to not enjoy how the beautiful woman in front of him wiggled around as he kissed down her body, down to her sex, gently licking the sensitive place. His big hands gently held her in place, as his long, persistent tongue curled against her clitoris, making her push her hips towards him.

It would be easier to get into her, if she had come first, was his experience, and he didn’t mind licking and sucking, fingering her tight pussy as gently as he could, with his big digits. He was good at it, he _knew_ that. Maybe he wasn’t good at sex itself, but he enjoyed to make his partner come, feeling a sense of pride with it.

Soon enough, he felt her clench around his fingers, as he lapped up her sweet juices. He slowly pulled out his fingers, before he stood up to undress. Even if she had smiled just a minute ago, he couldn’t help but notice how unsure she suddenly looked, as his pants dropped and his big, heavy cock drooled impatiently as he put on the condom.

,,… Will that fit?’’ she asked quietly, as he grabbed around her waist to pull her into a better position. He felt the familiar rush, the smell of sex and the warmth of her body as he grinded against her, and he could hardly focus on her words.

,,Yerh, yerh, don’t worry,’’ he groaned, slapping his cock gently on her still sensitive clitoris. He wanted to say that he would be gentle, but he could hardly keep still. He pressed against her again, his cock slipping in just the slightest, feeling _how_ tight of a fit it would be. _What a treat_ , his clouded mind shouted back at him, as he with all his willpower _neverendingly slowly_ pushed into her hot, tight pussy.

It was almost too tight to move around, but it didn’t really hinder him trying. He leaned down, kissing her collarbone and touched her breast, a little harder than before. Her pussy clenched around him, sensitive and stretched to the brim, and he sped up at the sensation, grabbing her closer to his body.

,,L-little slower,’’ she tried, but he didn’t hear her. If anything, he sped up again, pinning her body towards the mattress with his own, kissing her too hard as he groaned into the kiss. ,,Slow down, _please!_ ’’ she whimpered, but the tension was too much for him, and he just held on tight to the small body underneath him.

He opened his eyes, when he heard whimpers, that sounded nothing like moans. They sounded like _sniffles_. She was crying with her big, frightened doe eyes, and he immediately woke up from whatever high he had been on, slowly pulling out and pulling away to give her space.

,,I’m sorry,’’ he croaked, as she sat up, covering herself. ,,I… I didn’t mean to…’’ he tried, but she wouldn’t look at him.

,,It hurts…’’ she whimpered. ,,Why didn’t you _stop?_ Why couldn’t you see it _hurt me?_ ’’ she asked, her voice quivering and angry. ,,I _thought_ you would be gentle… You were _so_ gentle, just before…’’

,,I’m so sorry,’’ he said again, pulling of his condom and sitting beside her. He tried to place an arm around her, but she scooted away. ,,Let me try again, I’ll do better-,’’ he tried, but she stood up, beginning to collect her clothes.

,,Honestly, I don’t want to try again,’’ she said quietly. ,,You can’t just _slam it inside_. Couldn’t you _feel_ it wouldn’t fit?’’ she asked, finally looking at him, while he still sat naked on the bed. He felt so ashamed and little, right now.

,,… It tends to work…’’ he muttered quietly, looking to his side. The woman huffed as she covered herself up. ,,I want to make it up to you,’’ he tried, standing up. He towered over her, but tried to take a step back, so he wouldn’t appear intimidating.

,,No thanks,’’ she said, trying to leave the room, but he gently grabbed her hand, trying not to seem too forceful.

,, _I’m sorry_ ,’’ he said again. She stood before him and looked at him with those big, frightened doe eyes, that made his stomach drop even further down. ,, _Fuck_ , I’m so stupid. I’m really sorry… I know I just seem like some… douche, and I am, I’m just…’’ he sighed, letting go of her hand. To his surprise, she didn’t run away.

,,… Why didn’t you stop?’’ she asked again. He let himself drop down on the bed, sprawling his long limbs all over it.

,,I don’t know…’’ he whined. ,,I never thought about if I was _too rough_. This is just how I’ve _always_ done it, no one has ever said anything,’’ he sighed, sitting up to look at the doe. She didn’t look as frightened, anymore. ,,I really didn’t mean to hurt you. _Please_ , tell me what to do to make it up to you,’’ he begged, holding out his hands.

,,I don’t want anything from you,’’ she said calmly. ,,… I believe you, you don’t really look like someone who wanted to… _hurt_ me… Otherwise you would be all over me again. It’s not like… you couldn’t easily…’’ she said nervously.

,,I’m so sorry…’’ he said, as if they were the only words he knew. He hid his face in his big hands, suddenly realizing why none of his dates really led to anything. He had never thought about that _this_ could be the reason. If anything, he had thought he didn’t last long enough, or that they were unsatisfied in other ways. That was part of the reason that he made his partners come before ever trying to get inside them, and why he tried to last longer during sex, a little by little.

He could feel the bed move, when she sat down beside him. She looked curiously up at him, as he uncovered his eyes again. There were still tear streaks down her cheeks, but she looked as beautiful and gentle as she had done when he had led her into his room.

,,… Are you going to report me?’’ he asked nervously, but she shook her head. ,,… You can. You _should._ I mean it, I _really_ mean I’m sorry… I never realized-,’’ he started, but stopped when he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder.

,,And now you do.’’ She said it firmly, but she still smiled, before she let go of his shoulder again. ,,… You were really sweet, in the bar, you know? I just… I wouldn’t have thought you were so… _rough_ , when you’re so big…’’ she said nervously.

,,… That’s how… How troll’s normally do it…’’ he said shakenly, covering himself the slightest with the blanket.

,,Well, that doesn’t really cut it if you hurt others?’’ she said in a warning tone. He nodded slightly, taking in her words. ,,I don’t think you’ll do it, like this, again, will you?’’ she asked, looking directly into his scared, amber eyes.

,,No miss,’’ he promised.

,,Good. If you do, you’re an asshole,’’ she said bluntly, standing again.

,,I… Yes… Where are you going?’’ he asked quietly.

,,I’m going home,’’ she said. ,,I’m not really in the mood, anymore,’’ she tried.

,,We don’t have to do _that_ ,’’ he tried, but she was already opening the door.

,,I’m not really in the mood for cuddling, either.’’ He couldn’t blame her, but he felt so ashamed. He felt _disgusting_ , but he also wanted to comfort her. The warm, kind woman left his room as suddenly as she had arrived, but he couldn’t help but wonder about what just had happened. She seemed to hold him no grudges, but she _should_. He hated that he hadn’t been able to see a thing so _vital_ as this.

He hated that he had probably hurt most of the women he had slept with…

No matter how much he scrubbed himself and no matter for how long he let the water run, he didn’t feel any cleaner. His body felt weird and kind of sluggish, sore and weak all at once, and he shivered as if he was freezing cold when he finally stepped out from his shower.

He felt like passing out on the bed, but it was still early. He also felt too pent up and anxious to just sleep, so he went down into the bar instead. Most people seemed to have left to other places by now, but Ruvaen still sat in the bar, talking with the waitress as Seymore walked up to sit beside him.

,,I didn’t expect to see _you_ back this soon,’’ the pixie chuckled lightly. He had apparently not seen the doe girl leave the inn. Seymore slumped down on the seat next to him, ordering a beer from the bubbly, harpy waitress. ,,What’s the matter with you? Did she leave you, blue balls?’’ he said, but quickly understood that Seymore was in a less than playful mood.

,,… I just realized I probably messed most of the women up I’ve been with, and all but one was too polite to tell me,’’ he finally sighed, taking hefty gulps of his beer when the mug was placed in front of him. His head felt lighter, but his eyes burned. ,,How could I not _realize_ that? How fucking stupid have I’ve been?’’ he mumbled, mostly to himself.

,,Woah there, slow down, Seymore. Tell me, what’s the problem?’’ Ruvaen said, trying not to panic the troll further.

,,I’m _too rough!_ _Finally_ , I _act_ like a troll, and then I’m _still_ at fault!’’ he said, his voice getting louder, but there weren’t many people around them, so Ruvaen wasn’t too afraid that Seymore would attract unwanted attention.

,,You’re one of the most gentle lads I know. What are you even _talking_ about?’’ he tried. Seymore emptied his mug, feeling the world blur for a moment, before he looked back at the man at his side.

,,My dick is too big and I’m too _rough_ when I _fuck_ ,’’ he spat out, clearly not thinking straight anymore. The pixie was taken aback for a moment, not used to Seymore talking about matters like these, but _definitely_ not used to him talking in this tone. While the troll cherished his friendship, and had long since overcome the initial chock of being called gay, he didn’t talk about his sex life, and Ruvaen didn’t ask.

,,… That’s… _oddly_ specific…’’ the pixie mumbled. ,,Why don’t you just find girls… a little more experienced and… _sizeable?_ I mean, I’ve _seen_ the girls you sneak away with, most of them are really, really small… considering… _that_ ,’’ he tried, gesturing for the waitress to fill the troll’s mug again.

,, _Well_ , I’m not exactly _swimming_ in women, either,’’ he said, rolling his eyes. ,,We can’t _all_ just pick and choose as we so _please_ ,’’ he mumbled underneath his breath, but he wasn’t as subtle as he had thought himself to be. He took another gulp of his filled mug, feeling a warm burst in his stomach.

,,Oh yerh? You think that’s how it is for _me_ , I assume?’’ he asked sarcastically. ,,Newsflash, it’s not _everyone_ that’s down with bisexual men,’’ he said, rolling his eyes.

,,You can’t _convince_ _me_ that you don’t have it easier, Ru. _Look at me!_ I feel lucky to get _any_ attention, in a place like this! I’m a _troll!_ Nothing beautiful, like you!’’ He stopped when the words had left his mouth, realizing all but too late what he had said. He had meant to say _pixies_. Nothing beautiful, like _pixies_. All the pixies he had met had been beautiful, _not just_ Ruvaen.

But when the icy, blue eyes looked at him again, there were a hint of confusion, that dwelled on the ashamed and flustered troll. He suddenly felt very sober again, despite the alcohol that violently reminded him of its presence. Ruvaen didn’t look angry, but curious, if he had to guess.

,,Well…’’ the pixie said, turning his gaze again. ,,… You’re not _wrong_ , that it’s probably easier for me. I don’t always see people the same way others do. And I don’t really see any reason _why_ you wouldn’t be popular with the girls… Despite your… _problems_ ,’’ he said slowly, almost shyly. Seymore couldn’t remember he had ever seen Ruvaen shy before. ,,And I don’t really have anything to _complain_ about, but it’s simply not true, that I can _just have it all_ , as you seem to think. Lots of women aren’t _exactly_ okay with me and my lifestyle. And lots of men don’t like to think about I’ve been with women, either,’’ he shrugged, looking down at his own mug again.

,,… I didn’t mean it like that…’’ he tried, but his mouth suddenly felt very dry. Was it getting warmer in here, or was it just the alcohol? Ruvaen’s skin looked really soft, he thought to himself, feeling the familiar, weird tingle. He hadn’t felt that for a while.

,,Just forget it,’’ he smiled, looking back at the young troll again. ,,But back to the topic, there’s _no one_ who has ever told you, that you’re too rough? What about girlfriends?’’ he asked confused, finally realizing how much Seymore stared at him. ,,I don’t… want to _pry_ , if you think it’s too private, but…’’

,,It’s not,’’ he interrupted, turning his body to take a better look at the pixie. He really _was_ very pretty, he thought to himself. If Ruvaen didn’t talk, he could probably had mistaken him for a woman. The pixies voice was surprisingly deep, but his features were soft and gentle, and the way his blonde hair were tucked behind his slightly pointy ears didn’t help him seem less inviting… ,,I’ve had no girlfriends, since I moved here,’’ he admitted. ,,The dates I’ve been on, have led to nothing. And the hookups… are just that… One-night things, and I can’t really blame them, if it feels painful…’’ he said slowly.

,,But how haven’t you _noticed_ it? I mean…’’ he began, but stopped when Seymore couldn’t keep the growl out of his voice. It seemed to startle the small man, but the troll couldn’t help it. The way he had fixated on the pixies mouth while he spoke, went straight down to his unsatisfied cock, that impatiently reminded him of their fiasco to come earlier. He hadn’t thought he would be able to get hard after that, and hadn’t in his wildest fantasies thought it would be a problem, when he spoke to _Ruvaen_ , but Seymore was a little drunk, and couldn’t really think straight.

,,… It’s a troll thing…’’ he said slowly. If he tried to explain the lack of awareness or the growl he had just made, was unclear. ,,I don’t like telling people that I’m a troll,’’ he explained instead. ,,Out here, I look like a hybrid. I _blend in_ a little better, like that. But that also means no one is prepared for… my size, or my roughness, and I’m always _too excited_ when people touch me, and-.’’

He stopped and looked at his hand, when he felt something warm against it. He hadn’t noticed that Ruvaen had reached out for him, probably before he had said anything about _touching_. Clearly, the pixie didn’t think he meant _this_ , but the simple touch from his warm hands made him growl slightly again.

,,… I think you’re very drunk,’’ Ruvaen chuckled, when the troll mindlessly turned his palm towards the touch, grabbing the small pixie’s hand in his. He let his thumb run across the very soft skin, mindlessly looking at the contrast they made. The rough and the soft. The green against the pale. The sheer difference in their size. He wondered how those small, soft hands would feel against his skin elsewhere?

,,I’m not _that_ drunk,’’ he mumbled, knowing very well that wasn’t the case. He tucked the pixie a little closer, easily pulling him of his chair, chuckling at the sight. ,,Sorry,’’ he said, but didn’t let go of his hand.

,,What’s gotten into you?’’ Ruvaen scolded playfully. He was standing right in front of the young man, almost the same height as the slumping troll. He was close enough that Seymore could smell his cologne, or close enough for him to smell the sweetness of whatever drink he had had, just before. Close enough that Seymore could pick up on his real scent, making it hard to keep down the growl again…

,,Hey?’’ he asked, not answering the man’s prior question. ,,Tell me, is it _just_ as hard to figure out men, as it is with women?’’ His voice was low and raspy, and his hazy gaze fixated on the pixie. He wasn’t sure if it was due to the heat in here, but Ruvaen blushed, his cheeks rosy, contrasting his pale, almost white, skin.

,,I think… you’re very drunk…’’ he said again, gently pulling his hand away. He leaned forward to help the troll to get up, clearly to get him to bed, but Seymore’s mind had other plans. He gently grabbed the small man’s chin, slowly lifting his face to meet the amber eyes again.

,,Maybe,’’ he mumbled, leaning in just a tad, but Ruvaen hesitated and created a little space between them again. ,,What’s the matter?’’ he asked, as the pixie removed the troll’s hand. ,,I’m not your type?’’ He faintly remembered that Ruvaen _had_ answered that before, but in the heat of the moment, he couldn’t recall the answer.

,,Seymore, you’re _drunk_. You don’t know what you’re saying,’’ he said gently. ,,Let me get you to bed…’’ he tried instead, gesturing for him to follow him, but Seymore kept sitting, looking flustered and confused and _hungrily_ at the man before him.

,,That’s what I’m trying to,’’ he smirked, the growl still in his voice. His accent was thicker, and his words felt slurred, but he was well aware that Ruvaen understood him perfectly.

,,You’ll regret this conversation tomorrow,’’ he tried, looking away from the young man’s gaze, but Seymore grabbed his hand again, pulling him towards him effortlessly.

,,Tell me to stop,’’ he said. A slight beg in his voice. A _plea_ , that he misread it all, and that Ruvaen didn’t _really_ want this. How could he? Seymore couldn’t compare to a pixie. ,,Tell me you don’t want me.’’ But Ruvaen didn’t say anything. He clearly thought about what to say and do, but it was hard to read him, otherwise.

,,Let’s get you to bed…’’ he tried again. Seymore was about to protest, when the pixie leaned in, whispering in his ear: ,,Shh, calm down. You’re sleeping in _my_ bed tonight.’’

Every drop of his boiling blood ran to his face, as he all to eagerly stood up following the pixie up the stairs where the rooms where located. Seymore had only _just_ went up the last step, when Ruvaen turned around, looking like he was about to send him into his own room. But then he grabbed the young man’s shirt, pulling him closer and tip toeing, so he could reach the thin, green lips.

It took him a moment to realize what was going on. Maybe he _was_ drunk, he thought, as the soft, tender lips pressed against his. He stiffened up for only a second, before he picked up the small man, who abruptly ended the kiss.

But Ruvaen didn’t get to say anything, before the troll pinned him against the wall, his lips seeking his again. He tasted as sweet as he had smelled, and the unwilling whimpers from the small man made Seymore feel just as alert and _excited_ as he had been earlier that night.

It didn’t seem to bother his mind or body that it was _Ruvaen_ , he so eagerly kissed. And really, why would it? The man was _beautiful_ , and just as skilled as he could have only guessed him to be. The pixie’s arms were around the troll’s neck, pinning himself closer to the broad body, seemingly just as into it as the young man himself.

,,My room,’’ the pixie mumbled, but it was hard to hear over the greedy, needy noises of their kiss. ,,Two doors down, to the left,’’ he said, gently trying to get the troll to walk again. ,,I can’t get you naked out _here_ , where everyone can see you, Seymore,’’ he scolded him playfully, sending delightful shivers down the troll’s spine.

 _Let them look_ , his mind shouted cloudedly, but his legs began to move regardless. So what if some bystanders were to see him? _He_ was the lucky one, to not only bed a _pixie_ , but having that pixie be _Ruvaen_.

He waddled towards the room, only just managing to kick the door open, without dropping the small man in his arms. He briefly let go of Ruvaen when he sat him down on the bed, closing the door behind them, barely looking around. Not surprisingly, Ruvaen’s room was bigger than the one he had, but that wouldn’t matter. He would end up spending tonight _in here_ , anyway.

,,So eager,’’ the pixie mumbled when the troll leaned in over him again. Seymore kissed and sucked on the plump lips, almost moaning into the kiss. He could feel his dick throb in his pants, and couldn’t wait to get out of his clothes.

He stepped away briefly to strip out of his shirt. He hadn’t expected how big and curious Ruvaen’s eyes would be, as his gazed wandered over his toned body, covered in the dark, brown curls of hair. Even in his half drunkenly haze, the gaze was enchanting and made him shiver at the thought of a creature so beautiful, even gracing him with _any_ kind of attention.

,,Come here,’’ the pixie said, guiding him forward again. Seymore approached the kiss a little slower this time, as he felt the small man’s long, warm hands across his body. Usually, he didn’t get touched that much, beside around his cock, and the sheer excitement he got from the gentle hands was overwhelming. ,,Sensitive, aren’t you?’’ he smirked against the troll’s lips.

,,Mm,’’ the troll nodded, feeling the hands creep further down his body. He nearly drooled just by the _thought_ of those hands on his cock, panting as the pixie grabbed around his bulge on the outside of his pants.

,,By Am, you surely didn’t lie…’’ he mumbled, pulling in the pants to get them off the troll, that happily helped him getting rid of them. His big, heavy cock throbbed as the cold air hit it, making him whine impatiently as the pixie studied him.

The mere girth of the cock was impressive, but so was the length. Maybe not for other trolls, but for a pixie, the size was massive. He was well over 10 inches, slightly curving to the right, and the tight foreskin trapped his dripping glans.

It didn’t seem like Ruvaen minded the hair or the smell of his body. If he did, Seymore couldn’t tell, at least. The troll laid down beside the pixie, as he began to rub against the small man with his cock.

,,That’s… _a lot_ …’’ he chuckled, gripping around it, making the troll grind and groan in anticipation. He could feel the older man’s warm, wet tongue lightly against his glans as he leaned down to taste him, lapping away at his precum. ,,… I didn’t think it would _be_ this big… I know I _said_ , but… I don’t think… this will fit…’’ he admitted. Seymore whined, but if it was of disappointment or just the fact that the lips so skillfully touched him, he didn’t even know himself.

,,We… could try…?’’ he asked hopeful, but the pixie could barely wrap his lips around the pulsating organ. Even he could tell, that it would be just as likely to fist the small man, than it would be to penetrate.

,,Too big,’’ he mumbled, stroking the cock firmly. ,,I can still get you off, just lean back while I get a little more _comfortable_ ,’’ he smirked, standing up to undress.

Not surprisingly, Ruvaen was much more skillful and sensual as he stripped down. He _enjoyed_ the attention of the troll, that much was clear. Seymore looked at him as he was a delicious treat, but it was hard for the troll to register that the pixie looked just as hungrily at him.

If it wasn’t for the very stiff cock that sprung free when he pulled his pants down, Seymore had almost forgotten Ruvaen was a man. He looked so soft and inviting, but he found he didn’t find him any less inviting, just because of his cock. If anything, he felt just as excited as he felt nervous.

,,Damn, you look fine,’’ the pixie smirked, gently climbing on top of the troll. He curiously pressed his dick against Seymore’s, as to see if he would back out or not, but the troll didn’t look like he was ready to call quits just yet. ,,Don’t worry, I’ll take _good_ care of you,’’ he purred before he leaned down to kiss the troll again.

,, _Fuck_ ,’’ he growled quietly, feeling the smooth skin against his own. The pale skin was silky and hairless, and the contrast between their bodies could hardly be bigger than it was. He felt warm and safe against his body, and Seymore for once didn’t fear doing anything wrong, because as far as he could tell, the pixie was in full control.

He _liked that_. Huh…

,,Then… you do it…’’ Seymore finally panted, trying to gain Ruvaen’s attention again.

,,What? What do you want, sweety?’’ he purred, still rocking his hips gently against the troll’s body, rubbing their cocks together in his grip. The way he so gently spoke the words, and how soft his gaze was, was almost too much for the poor troll.

,,… Fuck me…’’ he whimpered, hiding his face behind his hands. His face felt warm, and he was sure Ruvaen could see it, even behind his big hands. ,,I’m too big, right? Then… _you_ do it… No one said _I_ was the one… The one that had to _do it_ ,’’ he mumbled, hoping Ruvaen at least understood him like this.

,,Shh, _relax_ , we don’t _have to_ -,’’ he tried, but the troll just whimpered louder.

,,I want to,’’ he insisted, carefully looking at the man above him from behind his hand. He was _beautiful_. He wanted to tell him, but the pixie just leaned down, gently removing both of the troll’s hands to kiss him again. He could feel the smaller dick against his own throb, and he wondered how that would feel _inside_ him. ,,Come on, _please_ ,’’ he begged, rocking his hips against the pixie’s hand.

,,You’re so _impatient_ , Seymore,’’ he chuckled. ,,I want to take my sweet time with you. Have you _any_ idea for how long I wanted this?’’ he asked, his voice light and quivering. If Seymore hadn’t been so horny, he would probably have commented on that, but right now, his only thought was to get his ass stretched. He had _never_ thought about that before. Even when Ruvaen had mistaken Seymore to be gay, he had always just assumed he still would be on top, but right now, he wanted nothing more than to be pounded by the small man.

,,Please, Ru,’’ he begged, gently brushing his hands against the pale, velvety skin. By the stars, he wanted nothing more than to pin this beautiful, soft creature down and give him every inch of him… Maybe despite being pinned down himself…

,,You’re absolutely _adorable_ ,’’ he hummed, moving away to fetch something from his night stand. ,, _Straight, my ass_ …’’ he mumbled as he fumbled with a bottle of lube, trying to get the cork off. ,,Have you ever fingered yourself?’’ he asked. Seymore shook his head, and suddenly felt a little more aware of the situation. ,,Then I’ll go _very_ slowly,’’ he promised, lubing up his fingers, generously.

It didn’t really hurt, as he had maybe thought it would. Ruvaen’s fingers where slender, and he was, indeed, very gentle and careful. As the pixie kept working with him, stretching him and adding more fingers, he felt more sensitive and his nervousness seized to exist. He wondered, if it would be more intense with the pixie’s cock inside of him…

,,Mm, such a good boy, you are,’’ Ruvaen hummed above him. He leaned in over the troll, fingers digging deeper into his ass, as he watched the troll whimper and grind into his hand. ,, _Didn’t really take you for a bottom_ …’’ he whispered breathily, kissing the thin, green lips again.

,,Don’t say that…’’ he whined, but his body undoubtedly liked the feeling of the pixie’s skilled fingers. ,, _I need more_ ,’’ he growled, but couldn’t get himself to say it.

,,Your dick is _throbbing_. And you make such delightful noises,’’ he said excitedly. He hadn’t noticed before now that Ruvaen was touching himself. He hadn’t really looked at his cock, mostly focusing on the beautiful face and familiar eyes, but he couldn’t help but peek.

Ruvaen’s cock wasn’t as intimidating as his own, but he was bigger than the three fingers inside him. He had guessed he would maybe have some sort of hesitation, maybe even back out, but the thought of having Ruvaen inside of him, fucking him and taking him as his _bitch_ , made him whimper again. All different kinds of feelings overcame him, and he wondered if this was how troll women felt when mating?

,,Put it inside,’’ Seymore whimpered, looking down his body. Ruvaen admired the troll’s body as he fingered him, nearly not noticing when he had spoken.

,,You’re sure?’’ he asked, looking up at the amber eyes again. He looked just as excited as Seymore felt himself, teasing him, making him _beg_ for it.

Seymore had never had to _beg_ before. He felt out of control, not in a way where he felt any discomfort, but like he was taken care of. In his horny, drunken state, he figured he had never felt like that before.

,, _Very_ sure,’’ he whispered, slowly reaching down to touch Ruvaen’s cock. The pixie’s hand had still been firmly around his own member, but now he let go so the troll could explore him curiously, panting enthusiastically.

His cock was stiff, much stiffer than Seymore’s was. It felt weird to touch something so familiar, that wasn’t attached to himself, he thought, as his fingers wandered across the slightly purple glans. He had never seen a cock and thought about it as _beautiful_ , but just like with everything else regarding Ruvaen, that was the only word he could find to describe it. He wanted to touch Ruvaen in all _sorts_ of ways, just like he had touched the troll, but more than anything, he wanted to feel him inside.

,,Tell me if I need to stop,’’ he whispered gently, as he reached over for the nightstand again, this time, to get his condoms. ,,I’ll be very _gentle_ , for you, my sweet troll,’’ he purred as he put it on, placing himself between the troll’s legs. Seymore could feel everything in him squirm and cramp together, as the pixie gently rubbed himself against his entrance. It was too much.

,,Wait,’’ he begged. Ruvaen backed off a little, surely understanding this as Seymore that had regretted taking it this far, but the troll just turned around, on his hands and knees, ass in the air, as he looked slightly back at the pixie again. His cheeks were red and he felt very shaky and nervous again, but his body still ached for the touch. ,,Is it okay, like this?’’ he asked quietly, pushing his ass towards where the pixie had been.

Ruvaen’s hands felt warm and welcoming, as they cupped his ass cheeks, spreading him out… _looking_ at him. The pixie spoke in a language, he couldn’t understand, but the tone was so _kind_ , that it didn’t make him feel uncomfortable. Like, if Ruvaen had _never_ seen anything like this, and that he _liked_ that.

Seymore didn’t know what Ruvaen’s type was. The only person he had ever seen him date, was Ivy. And they were _far_ from the same type, he thought hazily as the pixie’s tongue ran over his ass cheek, making him shiver and whine again.

,,Hng, put it _in_ , Ru… Don’t tease me, I want… I want…’’ he begged, but his touch felt good. His _tongue_ felt good. The wet, warm skin, that tingled when the pixie would blow cold air on it, made him want to rock his hips against his face.

,,What? What do you want?’’ he teased, grinding against his awaiting hole. Seymore put his head down, feeling surprisingly out of breath, even before the pixie had even put it into him. His face was flushed, and he just wished Ruvaen would reward him by _finally_ pushing into him, but he kept teasing and grinding against him.

,,… I want your dick…’’ he finally whimpered.

,,Oh really? _Where?_ ’’ He could _hear_ the smirk, even with his face pressed against the mattress.

,, _Fuck you_ ,’’ he growled, much louder than before. ,,In my _ass_ , _please!_ ’’ he begged, pushing against the touch, and Ruvaen finally slipped into him, much smoother than he could have ever hoped for.

It was completely different than the pixie’s fingers. The feeling of being filled out was the same, strange and exciting, pleasant and new, but the fingers had been precise and rather thin, even with more fingers that dug into him. But Ruvaen’s cock was stiffer, thicker and smooth from the condom, warmer and connecting them in a strange, poetic way. He whimpered slightly of surprise, and the pixie held still, gently caressing the troll’s back.

,,You’re okay, big boy?’’ he asked gently. The troll nodded, looking up, trying to meet the gaze of the man behind him.

,, _Yes_ … I’m fine…’’ he panted, trying to push back against the small man behind him. ,,You can move, it’s alright…’’ he said, when Ruvaen kept still, letting the troll adjust to the feeling.

He was very gentle, when he began to move again. Ruvaen was standing in the bed, his arms around the troll’s waist, as he very slowly pushed in and out of him, kissing his back and stroking the hairs on Seymore’s stomach. He had somewhat expected the smaller man to be _wild_ and _untamed_ , but in his clouded mind, this felt more sensual and passionate than he had _ever_ had before. His cock hang between his legs, and although none of them touched it, he could feel how hard he was, and how much he dripped onto the bedsheets.

,,Being such a good boy, aren’t you?’’ Ruvaen purred, still holding the troll dearly against his body. ,,You feel _so good_ , sweety. So _tight_. So goddamn _beautiful_ ,’’ he groaned, pushing in a little harder.

It felt like everything inside him died and got resurrected all at once at the words. He wanted to _protest_ , that _he_ was not the beautiful one, but everything he said was muffled and incoherent. He felt a spike of pride and fondness, melting both inside and in the hands of the pixie. He wanted nothing more than to stay here, with the pixie’s words ringing in his ears, their bodies as close together as they could be…

,,You doing okay?’’ he asked gently when he sped up the pace again. Seymore nodded, not even sure he could give a solid answer. He felt the long fingers in his hair, playing with it, _tucking it_ , making him look back at the pixie.

The ice-blue eyes looked at him, as if he was the last person left in the world; in awe, as if he wanted nothing more than to look at the drunk, horny, young man. All the softness Ruvaen normally had, had been replaced with hunger and lust, in a way Seymore could have never imagined.

,,Hey? Turn around for me, please? I want to look at that pretty face of yours,’’ he smiled, his voice so lewd and seductive, that Seymore almost feared he would come without warning. He obliged, his heart threating to beat right out of his chest, as he turned over, looking up at those familiar, safe eyes, with that perverse smirk on his face. ,,By _Am_ , just _look_ at you,’’ he purred, placing himself again, slowly slipping inside the troll’s hungry ass.

,,D-don’t _say that_ …’’ he whined, hiding his face again. He could feel the pixie leaning down, _easily_ resting his whole body on top of the troll’s, gently searching for the green lips.

,,What? Why not?’’ he chuckled lightly. ,,You look _fucking amazing_ , Seymore. Such a beautiful boy,’’ he panted, grabbing onto the troll’s shoulders to get a better grip on his big body. ,,I couldn’t have _imagined_ how _sexy_ you would look, spread out on my sheets like this,’’ he purred darkly, before his plump lips was back on the troll’s.

Even if Ruvaen lied to him, Seymore’s body felt amazing. The pixie’s small body pressed firmly against his throbbing cock, rubbing him while he got his ass pounded. Kissing while fucking had always excited him, and Ruvaen had experience he could only wish to have, guiding him skillfully with his dancing tongue. He groaned and moaned into the kiss, feeling his head spin and his body feeling cared for and desired like nothing he had tried before.

Seymore had loved his first girlfriend so dearly, that it had broken him completely when she left him, only days after they had had sex. He didn’t care for anyone as intensely again, and he hadn’t been that involved with anyone from the Center Isles…

… Until now.

He wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol speaking, if Ruvaen just was an exceptionally good fuck, or that he might have fallen for his dear friend even before tonight, but it all felt _so_ intense right now.

,,You’re so _big_ , but you’re trembling in my arms like the sweetest thing ever,’’ Ruvaen panted, still holding the troll tight to his body. ,,Look at me with those pretty, brown eyes,’’ he begged. Seymore did as told, whimpering under the man’s gaze. Everything else felt blurry, besides those haunting, blue eyes. ,, _That’s_ it. So _beautiful_ ,’’ he hummed again.

,,I-I’m not…’’ he whimpered, almost tearing up. ,,I’m r-really not…’’ he tried, covering his face yet again. He could hear Ruvaen chuckle, whispering something with his light, pixie voice.

,,Silly, little troll,’’ he whispered kindly, leaning down to kiss the troll’s neck, before he brushed his face against Seymore’s hairy chest, enjoying his warm scent, until the young man looked down at him again. ,,I think you’re absolutely _gorgeous_ , sweetheart,’’ he panted, and Seymore almost believed it. ,,Do you like this? Was this what you wanted?’’ he asked instead, grinding his body more against the troll’s heavy cock, squished between them.

,, _Yes!_ ’’ he moaned, feeling something sending chock-waves of pleasure through his body when Ruvaen hit him _just right_. ,,I-it’s very good…’’ he whimpered, gently holding around the pixie’s shoulders. Ruvaen leaned over him, gently nibbling in the troll’s long ears, before he whispered:

,,This is much better than _any_ fantasy I have _ever_ had about you.’’ The words lingered and sat in him, while Ruvaen kept hitting the same, sensitive spot inside him, making the troll cry out in overwhelmed surprise, clinging to the small man. ,,You’re almost there, aren’t you? You’re gonna be a good boy for me and come, right?’’ he purred darkly.

,, _Ru_ …’’ he moaned, feeling the pixie sneak a hand down between their bodies. ,, _Yes_ , I wanna come for you… _Feels so fucking good! T-take me,_ use me…’’ he moaned, almost howling at this point.

,, _That’s_ _it_ , that’s a good boy! Your cock is _so fucking big_ , can’t wait for you to shoot all over yourself,’’ he panted. His motions were short and hard, but Seymore could easily take it. He felt no pain, only the overwhelming sensation of bliss as the small man’s skilled fingers jerked him off.

He had never had an orgasm quiet like this, so intense, that he almost couldn’t control himself. Ruvaen jerked him until every _single_ drop had left his pounding cock, before he pulled out, removing his condom and adding to the pool of cum on the troll’s stomach and chest, all while chanting how _delicious_ he looked like this. Seymore could hardly focus on anything else than to keep his breath under control, as Ruvaen praised and caressed him, still telling him how beautiful he was.

That was the last thing he heard, before he fell into a deep slumber, dreaming vaguely of beautiful, blue eyes…

Seymore woke up with the strange feeling of not knowing where he was. At first, he remembered they were at an inn for the night, but as his eyes blinked and looked around, he recognized this wasn’t his room. When he finally turned to his side, hearing a low snore, he remembered _all_ too well what had happened last night…

Everything hurt in his body, when he looked at the beautiful, sleeping pixie. Even in his sleep he looked gorgeous, he thought regretfully. He remembered every lie Ruvaen had told him yesterday, about how good and pretty he was, about how… How _beautiful_ he was, when clearly, he couldn’t compare to the small man himself.

How much had he been drinking yesterday? Clearly too much, because his head hurt. His ass felt a little sore as well, but he guessed that was because he wasn’t used to anal. Would he _ever_ be able to feel as amazing as he had done yesterday, he wondered, as he slowly tried to crawl out of bed, before Ruvaen woke up and kicked him out instead.

,,Hey…’’ he heard behind him, looking around and seeing those sleepy, blue eyes look back at him. He didn’t look mad. If anything, he looked just as kindly and awestruck at him, as he had done yesterday, sending powerful shivers through the troll’s sore body. ,,Are you trying to flee, little troll?’’ he asked, gesturing for Seymore to lay down again.

,,… I didn’t want to wake you…’’ he smiled awkwardly, but laid down regardless. His body felt sweaty and sticky from yesterdays’ activities, but surprisingly, the pixie didn’t seem to care, as he just came a little closer, eyeing his bedpartner concerned.

,,… Look, I’m sorry that I… That I didn’t stop you yesterday…’’ he said apologetic, tryingly placing his hand on Seymore’s. The warm, slender fingers felt reassuring, but his words hurt him. ,,I _know_ you were drunk, and I… I should have been the _adult_ in this, I know, but… I… I _really_ thought you wanted it…’’ he said quietly.

,,I _did_ ,’’ he said hastily, sitting up again. ,,You didn’t… I mean, I did… I _do_ want, ahm…’’ he tried, awkwardly looking down at their hands, the pixie’s light one against his rough, dark skin. ,,I don’t regret it,’’ he finally said, still not looking at the small man at his side. His throat tightened, and he felt the headache pound violently behind his eyelids. ,,… Do you?’’ The pixie chuckled, lightly and melodic, making the troll look curiously back at him.

,, _No_ , of course not,’’ he said gently. ,,Seymore, _I_ wasn’t drunk. I liked it _very_ much, but I would hate if I… did something, you really didn’t want, in the end,’’ he smiled. Seymore laid down again, feeling warm and tingly and tired at the words. Like he just wanted to rest here, forever, with the beautiful pixie by his side. ,,… I really meant everything I said, yesterday… You’re such a fun, kind, _beautiful_ man, Seymore… And I felt very _honored_ , if anything, that you trusted me enough to touch you, like that,’’ he said gently.

How a creature like Ruvaen could look at him, and see anything _he_ considered as beautiful, was beyond him. Maybe he wanted to be kind towards him, maybe he wanted to boost his confidence, he thought. But it really looked like he _meant it_ , when he scooted a little closer, gently placing his lips on the troll’s.

There was no hunger in his kiss, and no mockery in his smile, no disgust in his eyes, and only kindness in his voice, when he hummed satisfied against the green lips. The kiss was as soft as clouds, and Seymore really felt weightless, as he awkwardly placed his big hand on the pixie’s small shoulder when pulling away from the soft, plump lips.

,,I, ahm… Would you like to… go out with me, sometime? It doesn’t have to be anything fancy, just… ahm, in another setting, than work and… your bed…’’ he chuckled nervously, feeling his cheeks heat again. Ruvaen chuckled as well, the sound muffled as he went in to kiss the troll again.

,,You’re _adorable_ , Seymore,’’ he smiled kindly. He crept even closer, gently holding around the troll’s bigger body, as if he was something small that needed protection. ,,I would _love_ to, but… you really don’t _have_ to ask,’’ he smiled, but even if Seymore could hardly believe _why_ , he could _feel_ that Ruvaen wanted to be near him.

,,Why wouldn’t I?’’ he chuckled, almost fearing the pixie would try to hide away the relation they had.

,,… Let me ask you this, instead: Would you be ready to go out, on a date, hand in hand, with another man?’’ he asked calmly. There was no guilt in his voice, but a slight hesitation that made Seymore surprised. ,,… I… I’m very _public_ , Seymore. In every kind of way. I have no intention to sneak around with a _boyfriend_ , who’s not sure _what_ he is and isn’t willing to go through with. I don’t mind to fool around, but then, let’s call it that, and keep things… _nice and simple_ ,’’ he smiled.

He felt his breath got stuck in his throat, when he heard the words. Even if it felt like Ruvaen wasn’t appalled by him or their night together, he hadn’t thought about _actually_ being a couple. He had only wanted to grab a cup of coffee, maybe out of habit of asking, as he used to with the girls he had laid with. He had barely thought about how he would react, if Ruvaen said _yes_ , much less what he insinuated by the question.

Would he be ready for that? For the whole world to look at him, not only as a broken troll or a village fool, but also as some kind of queer kid?

What would his parents think?

,,… I hadn’t thought so far…’’ he admitted, smiling shyly to the man by his side. He moved a little, hiding his face in the crook of Ruvaen’s neck, feeling strangely safe here, he mindlessly thought, as his heart pounded unbearably. ,,I… I didn’t really think that… someone like you, would… be with someone like me…’’ he said quietly.

,,Someone like you?’’ Ruvaen asked gently. The thin arms tucked him closer to the pixie’s body. ,,What’s wrong with ‘someone like you’?’’ he asked, gently curling his fingers into the troll’s long, bristled hair.

,,… You know… Just about everyt-,’’ he began, but the small man shushed him.

,,Nothings wrong with you, sweety,’’ he cooed, making the troll blush against the pixie’s neck. ,,You think so _lowly_ of yourself. I… want to _change_ that… I want you to see… No, I want _everyone_ to see you, _just_ the way I do,’’ he hummed gently. His embrace felt warm and soothing, and Seymore’s headache seemed to seize as he cuddled closer to the small man. ,,You’re _beautiful_ , Seymore. Every single part of you,’’ he said, leaning down to kiss the young man.

So sincerely, that he almost dared to believe him…

,,You’re insatiable,’’ the pixie chuckled, cleaning himself off with the towel before he fell down onto the bed again. The troll was over him in an instant, longingly kissing his neck, trying to hump against his small lover.

,,I’m sorry,’’ he whined, feeling the gentle hands in his hair, as the pixie skillfully guided him into the kiss. He inhaled, drowning in the scent of sweat and sex, moaning against the plump lips, his tongue pressing harder into the small mouth. ,,I need more… It’s so good… Everything feels so good…’’ he begged, whimpering thankfully as the pixie’s hand cupped his still so aching cock.

,,You’re _really_ something special, you know that?’’ he said happily, moving the troll onto his back. ,,I’ve _never_ been with anyone _quite_ as _hungry_ as you,’’ he smirked, straddling the troll.

,,Well, I _am_ a troll…’’ he panted as Ruvaen began to jerk him off again. No matter how many times he felt those slender fingers, he would never get used to it. This was the only form of magic that he needed.

,,Oh how do I _satisfy you_ , my _sweet_ , horny troll?’’ he asked seductively, his grip tight and demanding. ,,No matter _how_ many times you come, you’re still hard and _begging_ for my attention,’’ he said playfully, enjoying every whimper the troll made.

,,… I don’t know…’’ he moaned, grinding against the small hands. He wasn’t normally like this. He had a great _appetite_ , but nothing like this. At first, he had thought he had gone into heat, but it hardly made sense, especially when his partner was a man, despite him being too young for his body to even go into heat.

He brushed it of as being young and in love. He had never had this before; a relationship, that lasted more than a few weeks, a relationship, with a person who didn’t feel that Seymore was something they _settled down_ to date… A relationship with a man.

Ruvaen was surprisingly rather sexually driven by nature, and normally didn’t have problems with keeping up with his troll boyfriend. But Seymore had already come four times, and he was still panting and hungry for more.

,,Can you… Could you _try?_ To… you know, sit on it?’’ he asked slowly, knowing all too well it wouldn’t work. Just by the look Ruvaen sent him, made him regret even asking. ,, _Please_ , Ru? I’ll be _very_ gentle…’’ he said, but couldn’t keep the delighted groan down when Ruvaen moved, placing himself right above the needy organ.

,,Seymore, I can’t _fit_ all of that inside me,’’ he scolded him gently. The troll felt the soft skin of Ruvaen’s rear against his cock, trying to slowly grind between the small man’s ass cheeks. Oh, he could fit inside, he thought, but it wouldn’t be pleasant for the pixie…

,,Lube? Come on, _please_ , I want to _feel_ your ass around me…’’ he groaned, placing his hands on the man’s hips, guiding him gently against him.

,,… Do you miss being top? Is that why I just can’t seem to tire you out, today?’’ he asked gently, not answering the troll’s request, but still ever so slowly grinding against him.

,,… I miss it, yes…’’ he admitted, still horny and flustered, without many coherent thoughts. ,,Just the tip…’’ he begged, his amber eyes looking pleadingly up at his boyfriend.

,,Begging don’t make me bigger, baby,’’ he chuckled breathily. ,,… I know you really want it, and it’s not that I won’t help you out or play with you… But I’m simply not that big…’’ he tried apologetic. ,,I can call someone?’’ he asked instead, nonchalantly, but Seymore stopped his motions, his mind suddenly feeling clearer.

,,What do you mean? A doctor? I don’t think… I’m… sick?’’ he asked confused, as the pixie chuckled.

,,No, no, not like that, sweety,’’ he said gently, moving to lay beside the taller man again. ,,No, someone who could help with that _hunger_ of yours,’’ he said flirtatious, still stroking his throbbing cock.

,,… Are you offering me a prostitute?’’ he asked, still very confused, but less on the fence as if it had been a doctor.

,,Oh come on, Seymore. Troll’s aren’t _monogamous_. And don’t tell me you’re not still lusting for women, just because I’m here,’’ he smirked. There was no malice in his voice, but Seymore was also aware that Ruvaen wasn’t _exactly_ monogamous himself. They had never discussed the possibility of bringing other people into their bed, but the troll hadn’t really lusted after others in the time he and Ruvaen had been lovers.

But if he offered? He was just a troll, and he could _hardly_ hide his excitement…

,,I have some contacts in my phone. Women I’ve been with, in the past, if it doesn’t bother you?’’ Ruvaen tried gently. The thought both scared and excited him.

,,… I don’t… Do you really think they would be into… me?’’ he asked quietly, knowing all too well that anyone who was into Ruvaen’s type surely would be on the fence with someone like _himself._

,,I wouldn’t call anyone who wasn’t into you, silly,’’ he said gently. ,,Don’t worry, I’m not getting _Ivy_ in here,’’ he said, as if he knew that was the troll’s concern. ,,Everyone _knows_ about you, Seymore. I’m not hiding you away. If I call anyone and ask if they want to help me out with my _boyfriend_ , they’ll _know_ that you’re a troll,’’ he reassured him.

,,… Okay…’’ he nodded. ,,I, ahm… I’ll try to clean myself up, then, I’m… all sweaty…’’ he tried, but hardly thought he could keep the sweat off until whoever Ruvaen had on his mind arrived.

,,Yerh, that sounds like a plan,’’ he smiled, getting his phone out of his pants, thrown on the floor. It wasn’t that common with phones, even on the Center Isles, but Ruvaen was _rich_ , and it didn’t really surprise him that he had one. They didn’t have that kind of technology in the West.

It felt like he had only been in the shower for a minute, before Ruvaen popped in, excitedly knocking on the door and hugging his big, wet body from behind. His hands gravitated to the troll’s still standing cock, the cold water not helping him getting it down at all.

,,You’re still ‘up’, I see. That’s good,’’ he said, the smile audible in his voice. ,,I have a couple of girls coming over in about an hour. I’m _very much_ looking forward to see them enjoy my _beautiful_ boyfriend,’’ he said lovingly.

,,I’m not… A couple, you say?’’ he said, turning around to look at the proud pixie. ,,… At… once?’’ he asked slowly, barely able to keep the groan down. If it wasn’t for the still running water, it would have been visible that his cock leaked just by the sound of that.

,, _Yes_ ,’’ he said excitedly. ,,By Am, you’re still _so_ hard… Are you excited? Nervous?’’ he asked, gently leaning against the troll’s firm body.

,,Nervous…’’ he settled on, but that was far from the only emotion running through him. ,,… _Horny_ ,’’ he growled, turning off the water to go dry off. ,,Are you… _really_ okay with this? I mean… I don’t know… I’m not really… _used_ , to anything like this…’’ he admitted, as he fetched himself a towel.

,, _More_ than okay,’’ he assured him. ,,I’m a very _different_ kind of pixie…’’ he smiled seductively, helping the troll to dry off. His hands felt like fire on his skin, and the reality of what was about to go down felt overwhelmingly exciting. ,,… And I like to _share_.’’

Waiting was unbearable. He was _more_ than ready for them, and Ruvaen did his best to edge him on, with firm hands or greedy lips. He didn’t know what to expect from the women arriving, neither how they looked or how they would act. Mostly, he just feared they would be disappointed…

All his senses where alerted anew when he heard the knock on the door. He wanted to hide away and tried to cover up, but Ruvaen just gently guided him down on the bed, fully uncovered, twisting and leaking.

,, _Trust me_ ,’’ he smiled, opening the door. Two minotaur women walked in, chatting eagerly, both with each other and Ruvaen.

Seymore had never really thought about what kind of people his boyfriend had been with, in the past. He knew he and Ivy had an on and off going relation with each other, and as most other fairies, Ivy was tall, slender and graceful. Her black hair was long, and her green eyes soft, but only when she looked at Ruvaen.

He had always thought Ruvaen’s other partners where like fairies, or pixies, or elves. Not _trolls_ or _minotaurs_.

,,This is Hilgera and Annemia,’’ Ruvaen said, gesturing them further into the room, but the ladies didn’t seem to have time for pleasantries. They rather casually just started touching the young, excited troll, with their surprisingly soft hands. He just laid back, mesmerized, by how easy and natural it all felt. ,,You know what to say if you want it to stop, right?’’ Ruvaen said, standing by his side, gently stroking the absentmindedly troll’s hair.

,,… Red,’’ he croaked, his voice raspy and quivering, as the giggling minotaurs touched around his body.

,, _Good_. But don’t be afraid, sweety. I’ve chosen these lovely women _especially_ for your needs,’’ he said, looking fondly at the women.

While he was grateful the women weren’t gnomes, just by their petite stature, he was well aware that he wouldn’t be able to satisfy one, let alone _two_ , minotaurs with his cock alone. He knew Ruvaen had set this up, as a treat for _him_ , and he guessed the women were aware of his _shortcomings_ , but mostly, Seymore enjoyed that his partners came and _wanted_ him to keep touching them. He wasn’t sure he could do that with minotaur women.

But all his worries melted away, as both of their soft, round snouts pressed against his cock, eagerly licking him with those wet, long tongues, that almost seemed as big and broad as his own cock. He looked mesmerized as they sucked and licked, kissed and slurped, not only his cock, but each other as well.

Was every, damn creature in this Godforsaken realm bisexual? His cock certainly didn’t mind…

One undressed as the other proceeded to suck him off. At this point, he wasn’t even sure which of them was which, but it didn’t seem to matter for them.

,,You’re ready for a little action, big boy?’’ the one who was naked said. Her hair was longer, blonde and braided, while the other ones were short and spiky, in an unusual, pink color, he highly doubted were natural.

,, _Yes_ ,’’ he panted, as the short-haired slowly pulled away, so her friend could sit down on his all too eager cock. He mindlessly remembered condoms, but he didn’t have any on hand. He just had to hope for the best, he thought, as she rather easily squatted down on his cock, pulling his attention back to the beautiful, soft skin, and her big, bouncy breasts right in front of his face. ,, _My stars, don’t ever wake me up_ ,’’ he growled, closing his eyes as she began to ride him, much faster and smoother than he had ever tried with anyone from the Center Isles.

He couldn’t deny he missed this. He tried not to think about it too often. Far from dissatisfied with being the bottom, he could feel his body had longed for this, ever since he and Ruvaen started dating months ago. Most of all, he wanted it to be the pixie riding him, _kissing him_ and begging for him to fill him up, but the feeling of his boyfriend’s familiar fingers in his hair, as he fucked someone, a complete stranger to him, felt thrilling as well.

In the back of his mind, he remembered the petite doe girl and her tears. He made sure to check immensely with the woman riding him, but he believed her when she said she felt no discomfort. Minotaurs lengths and thicknesses were much greater than even regular trolls’, not to speak of his own. With this in mind, he didn’t worry as much about holding back, but he still tried to last as long as he possibly could.

The short-haired woman sat behind the blonde, holding his legs in place as she playfully began to caress the other woman’s soft, heavy breasts. Seymore timidly let his fingers flick against her nipples, excited to even be _part_ of this. Despite him not really participating, Ruvaen seemed to enjoy the sight of the eager troll, as he became more and more confident and curious in his movements.

,,Can I… ahm… Can I be on top?’’ Seymore asked slowly. He really wanted to _get everything out of his system_ , but he didn’t want to offend her. Luckily, it didn’t seem like he had.

They were both so much taller than him. Not as tall as trolls, but he couldn’t remember a time, where he had to look _up_ to anyone, besides the trolls he had been with in the past. They both laid down, giggling, _kissing_ each other, luring him in with their soft, curvy figures.

,, _One, fucking, lucky troll_ ,’’ he growled, placing himself before the pink-haired woman, feeling her wet, warm folds around him. He took a second to just enjoy the warmth around him, before he _pounded_ against her, slowly testing how fast or how hard he could go, before she would seem uncomfortable.

She didn’t reach that point. Instead, it actually seemed like she enjoyed his best efforts. He let his hips work themselves, as he gently let a hand down between the blonde one’s legs, curiously exploring her with his fingers. He had never been a three-way before, but he didn’t want either of the women to feel neglected.

Despite his nervousness in the beginning, he liked being squashed against these soft creatures. They didn’t say much, but they didn’t need to, either. They touched him and guided him, regardless of what he used to pleasure them, whether it be his mouth, hands or his still all too eager cock.

They had both already come, when Seymore finally felt the orgasm run through him. To his surprise, _this_ was the only time Ruvaen seemed to have any intent on joining them, as the pixie leaned in, so casually as had he been a part of the buildup. Looking up at his boyfriend’s face, he gently gained control over the needy organ, licked the tip and smirked so seductively, that his ice-blue eyes sparkled as the diamonds they were.

,,You’re my good boy, aren’t you?’’ he smiled, sucking the juices of his cock with such force, that Seymore cried out in surprise, whimpering and forgetting everything around him as he _thrusted_ against the pixie’s warm mouth.

,, _Y-yes!_ ’’ he whimpered, closing his eyes as he felt the orgasm run through him, much more forceful than any of the others he had had that day. The pixie kept his eyes on him, swallowing greedily as Seymore slowly came down from his high, panting heavily. ,, _Fuck_ , that was _good_ …’’ he whined, caressing the small man between his legs.

,,I’m glad you enjoy it,’’ he smiled, licking his lips. Seymore tangled his fingers into the pixie’s golden hair, gently guiding him up to his face, kissing him just as hungrily as he had done just before the women arrived. ,,Now, my sweet troll, you’re still up for more, I see?’’ he chuckled, grabbing around the still standing cock.

,,Yes…’’ he panted, feeling extra sensitive, despite still holding up.

,,My, _my_ …’’ he said, guiding the minotaurs back towards the troll. ,,What do you say, Annie? Can you help my poor troll to calm down?’’ he cooed, gently stroking the blonde woman. He guessed that would make the pink-haired one Hilgera, then…

His body would be sore in the morning, that much was evident. He didn’t miss any spot on their bodies, kissing and sucking, nibbling and licking them all over. When one sat on his cock, the other sat on his face, drowning his loud moans with her own moans and her body.

He ended up tiring them out, before he tired out himself. His body was still all too sensitive, but not as demanding, anymore. The sun had gone down some time ago, as he laid in the bed, still trying to catch his breath for good, as it all settled in what had just happened.

It felt soothing, with the pixie’s small hands, gently stroking his hair. Ruvaen didn’t say much, he just made sure his lover was okay, and Seymore himself was too exhausted to start up a conversation.

He still wanted Ruvaen just as much as before. As if anything less wouldn’t satisfy him. It didn’t mean that he didn’t want to bottom for the small, elegant creature, he just wished his lover would at least _try_.

Still, he felt grateful. Who would even think of calling their past girlfriends, to try to satiate their unruly troll boyfriend? None he had known of before, at least. Ruvaen was special, in so many ways, that it was hard not to feel intoxicated with the simple fact, that he was _his_ boyfriend. No one else understood why the pixie would agree to this. Seymore didn’t even understand it himself.

But he smiled, knowing that Ruvaen didn’t agree to _anything_. _He_ had been the one to ask for Seymore.

,, _You can’t mean this!_ ’’ The words echoed and rung through the house, everything in the room shaking slightly. ,, _It’s disgusting! Why would you do that?!_ ’’ Her hard voice pierced through his soul, and he protectively got in front of the surprisingly calm pixie. He could feel his knees shake, and he feared he would stumble over himself when he moved. ,, _This is not what we meant, when we said ‘bring them home’!_ ’’

,,Calm down, please! Let me… Let me at least _explain_ -,’’ he tried, but the figures towered above him, threatening as he had never felt before. While never comfortable, he had never feared them, as he did now. The pain in his head were alarming, but he was too focused to dwell on it, right now.

,, _What kind of troll are you even?!_ ’’ He backed up. They had barely gotten into the house, but the front door seemed so far away. Why did he think this was a good idea? _Why_ had Ruvaen _convinced_ him _this was a good idea?_ ,, _Get out! Get lost! Fuck of, you’re no son of mine!_ ’’ His father’s words roared so even the neighbors came outside, lazily looking what the odd Oatoak kid was up to now.

,, _Please_ , I… I didn’t… I…’’ he tried, scooting Ruvaen out of the door, always keeping a hand on him, as if he feared he would get snatched up and thrown away from him, if he ever let go.

,,Seymore, we need to go _now_.’’ The pixie’s firm voice cut through his parents’ growling. He knew he was right, but he couldn’t go. He had _never_ had the chance to _really_ show of a partner for his family, and _this_ couldn’t be the way they reacted.

He had always known it was a possibility that they would do so. But he could have _never_ imagined the _wrath_ and _hatred_ in their eyes. His papa’s eyes, all bloody and fiery. His mama’s fists, filled with clumps of hairs she had ripped out. Long, brown, bristled locks…

,, _Can’t you hear? Get the fuck out!_ ’’ his father growled, storming towards the open door.

,, _I love him!_ ’’ he growled back, standing as firm as he could, even if Ruvaen tucked in him more persistently now. ,, _How can you_ be _like this?! I’m your_ son!’’ he growled, tears getting heavy in his eyes.

,,I know you hate this,’’ Ruvaen said hastily, tucking his boyfriend outside the small troll hut, ,,but you’ll thank me later, _I’m sorry_ ,’’ he said, before he with a small flicker with his hand dusted the troll with a light, sparkly powder, that _undoubtedly_ didn’t help on his parents’ perception of him. The powder felt tingly and he knew what was coming. The last thing he saw, before he closed his eyes, was his father’s rageful gaze.

In a blink of an eye, they were gone, far away from the troll village, flopping down on the ground. The teleportation had worked, but Seymore felt no relieve. If anything, he couldn’t feel much worse.

,,… I’m sorry…’’ the pixie said, trying to comfort his loved one, but Seymore turned around, making himself as small as he could. The only thing he really heard, was his own sobs and his violently pounding heart. ,,… Seymore, _please_. Let’s find a better place to rest… It’ll all be okay, baby…’’ he tried, but the troll didn’t answer.

He wanted to scream and shout, but it wouldn’t change anything. He hadn’t _wanted_ to go to his parents’ house. Not because he was ashamed of Ruvaen, as the pixie might have feared, but because he _knew_ it would all crash and burn.

And while he held little to no fondness for his parents, he had _hoped_ that _this_ was the one thing they could give him their blessing for. A _stupid_ , _naïve_ hope, that he didn’t know why he had held. He _wanted_ them to at least _acknowledge_ that _this_ was good and true for him. He wanted _something_ , that wouldn’t leave him even _further_ away from everything troll society was.

But now he was here, an unknown place, with no chance of ever going home. He didn’t _want_ to go home, but he _liked_ that he had a choice. Now, he felt so _stuck_.

Slowly, he looked up at the pixie’s gentle, concerned gaze. He _wanted_ to be mad at him, for _ever_ pressuring him into this, but he couldn’t. Ruvaen couldn’t know this would happen. This was _so far_ from everything he had ever experienced himself. He _just_ wanted to be a part of Seymore’s family, as he was with Ruvaen’s.

,,I’m sorry,’’ Ruvaen whispered again. ,,I didn’t believe you. I’m _so sorry_ , sweety,’’ he whispered, slowly reaching for the troll’s face. When Seymore permitted him to do so, the fingers searched for the bald patch on the troll’s head, slightly covered by the long hair, that hang loosely around his face.

,,I…’’ he tried, but his throat was too tight, and his mind too clouded to do anything but sob. ,,I didn’t… I’m…’’ he sobbed, but no words seemed right. He felt the pixie’s thin arms around his body, the older man shushing him to get him to calm down.

,,It’ll be okay. I’m here, we’ll figure it out,’’ he tried.

,,No we _won’t!_ ’’ he sobbed, feeling small and powerless. ,,I’m… I’m… I’m all…’’ He couldn’t say it. He just clung to his lover, feeling so alone, even if he was so close. ,,Don’t leave me,’’ he begged, hiding his face against his chest. ,, _Please_ , don’t ever leave me…’’

,,Now, now, I won’t. Shh, don’t worry, I’m here, I’m right here, with you,’’ he promised, caressing the troll gently.

,,But for how long?’’ he asked, panicking again when he looked up at the confused pixie. ,,You could get _anyone_ , Ru… Don’t deny that!’’ he said warningly, when the pixie was about to protest. ,,I’ve _seen_ the way people look at you. And I’m _so proud_ to be by your side, but you’ll _leave_ me… And now, I’ll have nowhere to even _go_ ,’’ he sobbed, looking into those big, uncertain eyes.

,,… Seymore, I’m not _leaving_ you. I _like_ you, I _like_ the thing we have going on, and I’m-,’’ he began, but the troll kept whining.

,,But I _love_ you… I’ll always _love_ you…’’ he said beggingly. He took a deep breath, but he still felt so weak and out of air. ,,You’re my _whole world_ … And… I don’t _need_ you to be _mine alone_ , but I need… I need to be _a part_ of your heart, at least… I have no one else than you…’’ he pleaded, the amber eyes _begging_ for a response, he knew he could never get.

Ruvaen sighed, but was quiet for a moment. He knew all too well what fears and sorrows kept the small, so generously man at bay, when it came to sharing his feelings. Sharing his _life_ , in a way Seymore had wanted with women in the past. In a way he _still_ wanted with Ruvaen.

Pixies could live for thousands of years. Ruvaen had already lived centuries. And as a person, he was a lover of everything _different_ and _unordinary_ , not really longing for a quiet life with another pixie. Seymore would die over a millennial before Ruvaen’s body would even consider shutting down.

Aenamo was such a wonderful place. A place, where race didn’t _have_ to matter, because most species could produce crossbreeds. But with that, came the daunting realization that some couples where _doomed_ from the very start to live unhappily, with one partner dying off way before the other’s time.

Ruvaen _did_ love Seymore, he wholeheartedly believed that. But the pixie couldn’t be tamed, and he refused to get too close to others, like that. Seymore was sure that Ruvaen would gladly spend all of the troll’s life time, being his primary partner, but he would _never_ get the twosomeness he had searched for before. Maybe never even hearing the words, he so dearly longed for…

Maybe that was the curse, for falling in love with someone so beautiful?

… Maybe it was worth it?


	20. 20) Melting ice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter changes perspective twice. Once to a traveler, and once to Willa. I'm unsure if this disturbs the flow of the story, especially the perspective of Willa, as it prior to this moment only have been from (mainly) Seymore's perspective, and selected chapters from Nite's. Maybe I overthink it too much? Regardless, feedback on this decision would be appreciated! (as all other feedback is as well!)

He didn’t mind that Ruvaen had other partners. He didn’t mind if they brought someone into their bed, or if Ruvaen had some weird _kink_ with setting people up with Seymore, and he didn’t mind if Ruvaen liked to fuck others himself, whether the troll was with them or not. Seymore wasn’t jealous, he guessed it had something to do with his troll heritage.

But he wasn’t comfortable when the pixie began to date Ivy again. At this point, so many years into their relationship, he had met many of his lover’s former partners, whether they had been men, women or anything in between. He wouldn’t have minded if Ruvaen had proposed the idea of dating _any_ of his former partners.

 _Except_ for Ivy.

After years in the troupe, and _years_ of being with Ruvaen, Ivy still seemed to like Seymore less and less as time went on. A more confident, objective person would probably have seen her as jealous, but Seymore wasn’t that sure of it. He guessed that some people just didn’t seem to mix together that well.

He knew that Ruvaen and her had been on and off for _decades_ by now. And by all means, he didn’t mind his lover had another romantic partner. He didn’t mind it was a woman, he didn’t even mind it was an ex, but he _did_ mind that it was Ivy.

Not because he had anything particular against Ivy. Not because he was jealous of her looks, and not even because she was mean to him. Mostly, he was concerned, because Ruvaen would like to spend time with _both_ of them. _Together_.

It had been hard enough when they went out for dinner, as he felt oddly like the third wheel. Ruvaen did his best to include him, but Ivy would casually always occupy the spot between their shared lover, making _them_ look like the couple, and the troll just some friend they had brought along. Even if he and the pixie had been together for almost 4 years, with no breaks, and with the public very well aware of him, he couldn’t compare to _decades_ of them knowing each other.

He wasn’t mad that Ruvaen liked Ivy. Although he knew the troll and fairy wasn’t the best of friends, their arguments weren’t as evident, anymore. Seymore felt he internalized it too much, and that Ivy _really_ wasn’t that bad, like it was just him _feeling_ that way.

Even if he _knew_ it wasn’t the case…

Towards Ruvaen, Ivy was gentle and funny and generous. And a fairy. They looked good together, Seymore thought. Much more cohesive than himself and Ruvaen, at least. No one would wonder how _she_ could get a pixie, and everyone would think he was _lucky_ to be with her.

But it was a problem for him, on a whole other level, when it became _very_ evident that Ruvaen wanted to do _all_ kinds of things with them. _Together_. He had _no_ interest in being naked with Ivy, and while he didn’t mind that she and Ruvaen had sex, he didn’t want to look at it, either.

Seymore had never really shot any sexual proposal down, so this set of some alarms with the pixie, but it didn’t really seem like he understood _why_ the troll had said no. He thought he had overstepped a boundary, either with having another relationship, or with the kind of relation he and Ivy had, and it couldn’t be further from the truth. But Seymore didn’t have the heart to tell him, what it all really was about, fearing that he wouldn’t understand, or worse, that he would leave the troll behind to be with his beautiful fairy.

,,You’re making a big deal out of it, when it’s really not,’’ Ivy said one day, when she had been visiting them. He and Ruvaen had lived together for almost two years, and he expected Ivy would move in with them at some point in the future. But right now, he enjoyed she didn’t live with them, although she visited far too often, in his opinion.

,,Oh yerh? I didn’t know that this was your _dream scenario_ ,’’ he scoffed, trying to look busy in the kitchen. Ruvaen wasn’t home, occupied with helping someone out for the upcoming show. Ivy had been over for the night, but he had expected she would go with the pixie when she had the chance. Surprisingly, she _didn’t_.

,,You’re making him _upset._ It’s like, 10 minutes, and then it’s over, and he’s happy,’’ she said sternly. He put down the dishtowel and looked at her, his gaze tired and irritated.

,, _You think very lowly of me_ ,’’ he growled quietly. ,,I don’t need sex to be _personal_. But I _at least_ need to be with someone, that doesn’t _mind_ my existence,’’ he said, trying to stay calm. She didn’t even look at him.

,,What kind of _complex_ do you have?’’ she said, rolling her eyes. ,,It’s gone to your head, that you’re with a pixie. Now you won’t settle to _fuck a fairy?_ ’’ she scoffed.

,,That’s not the problem,’’ he said, now visibly upset. ,, _Why_ would _that_ be the problem?’’ he asked loudly. When she finally did look at him, her green eyes seemed less than amused.

,,Listen here, _kid_. I’ll do _anything_ for that man. _Even_ if he wants to do something like… _this_ ,’’ she said, gesturing disgusted to the troll. ,,If you can’t do that for him, then _leave_. You _don’t_ know him. He doesn’t propose things like this as a _maybe_.’’

,,… But I don’t want to, and he would _never_ force me to,’’ Seymore tried, but Ivy just laughed at this.

,, _Of course_ he wouldn’t. It’s not even _about that_. I’m trying to help you out here, trust me,’’ she said, standing up to walk a little closer towards him. She felt _threatening_. Not like he was afraid she would slap him, but he couldn’t know for sure. Despite everything, she seemed _completely_ calm. If anything, she almost seemed _concerned,_ but her whole aura set him off. ,,Take it from someone who has been with him for as long as I have: He gets _bored_. You don’t want to go through that.’’

,,He has never-,’’ he tried, but the fairy interrupted him.

,,4 years is _nothing_ , Seymore, when you get as old as he. _Nothing_. You want to spend the rest of your life with him? Well, then you have to make a few _sacrifices_ , for despite how good and gentle he is, he’s a free soul. _No one_ , neither you nor I, will _ever_ get him to settle down,’’ she said harshly, but with no trace of mockery.

He knew she was somewhat right. He had always _known_ that Ruvaen was a dreamer, and had learned the hard way, that he would _never_ settle for a quiet life, with marriage and kids. That had been Seymore’s dream, long before he became an actor, and while he didn’t _mind_ living this life with his lover, he still longed for all of those things. He knew he would never get it, regardless if he indulged to Ivy’s weird request or not.

At some point, Ruvaen would leave him. At this point, he just had to ask himself how _desperately_ he would cling to the pixie, before that would happen.

,,… Why are you concerned about this? Don’t _tell me_ this is for _my_ sake,’’ he scoffed, trying to create space between them, but his back was against the wall.

,,Of course not. I want _him_ to be happy. If this makes him happy… then, that’s what I do,’’ she simply said. For the first time, it felt like she studied him, with those cold, green eyes, hard like jewels that wouldn’t melt for nothing. Nothing else than ice, it seemed.

,,But I _don’t_ want this. I don’t mind you’re with him, I _really_ don’t. I just… I want _us_ , to be civil with each other. If we could _at least_ -,’’ he tried, but she interrupted him again, putting one of her long, painted fingers over his lips.

,,From the very first time I saw you, I just _knew_ he would pull some shit like this,’’ she sneered. ,, _Just_ from the way he looked at you that day, I _knew_ he would take you in, I _knew_ what he wanted, and you were so… _sincerely_ stupid, that you didn’t even see it yourself.’’ He moved her hand away, but didn’t answer at first.

She wasn’t right. But why would she say something like that? He couldn’t believe that someone like Ruvaen would have fancied him, from the very start, not even after all the kind words the pixie showered him with.

,,I don’t want to be _civil_ with some _kid_ who got _lucky_. Either you get your shit together, or leave, while you’re not too far in it,’’ she said, pulling her hand towards herself again.

,,… It doesn’t really _matter_ if I do it or not, will it?’’ he said, his voice small and defeated. ,,You’ll _always_ be a part of his life. I _know_ that, I _should_ have expected this, but… that’s _really_ not the problem. I can’t _live_ my whole life, _afraid_ that you’re here,’’ he tried.

,,What had you expected? That we would all fall for each other and had formed some sort of triad?’’ she scoffed. He hadn’t. He wouldn’t have minded that, but he couldn’t _imagine_ how that would _ever_ function.

,,No,’’ he promised. ,,I don’t need that. I just need to know… that it’s okay that I’m here, too,’’ he tried, but her eyes didn’t soften.

,,But it’s _not_. I’ll be here, before you ever were, and long after you’ll leave. Because you _will_ leave. Either by choice… or force,’’ she concluded, stepping away, ready to leave.

,,I was with him-,’’ he tried, but she spun around, her eyes warning him not to continue.

,, _No_. _I’m_ not intruding here. _You’re_ the intruder. Don’t play me like a fool. You always _knew_ our history,’’ she said sternly. ,,You always _knew_ I would be back.’’

She was right. From that very moment Ruvaen had asked him, if he wanted to be his boyfriend, he knew there were a risk of this happening. The pixie was well aware that trolls normally weren’t monogamous, and he had tested that theory out almost immediately. Although he had never pushed to have other romantic relations, neither for himself or for them together, Ruvaen had asked him a long time ago, if that would be alright.

When he had said yes, he had almost forgotten Ivy was the culprit of this question. But as she stood here, so close in front of him, with so much anger and so much love, he couldn’t help to feel stupid. _Of course_ , it had always been her he asked about.

,,… You’re right…’’ he finally said. It seemed to calm her down, before she became wary of him. He tried to reach out for her, gently tucking her hair behind her ear, as she suspiciously watched him.

,,… What are you doing?’’ she asked, but didn’t move. Her hair was as soft as expected, he mindlessly thought.

,,… I, too, want to do absolutely everything for him. If anything… that’s the _one_ thing we have in common,’’ he smiled sadly, letting go of her again.

She left. Left him alone with his thoughts and doubts. There wasn’t much to be in doubt about, he believed, as he couldn’t exactly leave. Where would he go? There would be no place that would hire a troll here, and the West wouldn’t exactly welcome home some _artist_.

He could talk with Ruvaen, but as soon as the pixie stepped inside, every hope and ounce of confidence he had had, left him anew. He wanted to tell him about Ivy, how she talked to him, but also about his fears of their relation, regardless of the fairy or not. But as soon as he smiled, the troll felt himself melting, _just_ by the sight of his loved one.

,,Hard day at work?’’ the troll asked gently, as the pixie sat down. Their apartment was small, but they didn’t need much space. Although the pixie was rich, he didn’t like to stay the same place for too long, and had simply rented a small, rundown apartment when the troupe stayed on an island for a little longer than usual. They didn’t spend much time here, anyway. When they weren’t working, Ruvaen liked to go out a lot. Seymore simply followed.

,, _Yes_ , but it’ll be _great_ tomorrow!’’ he said happily, kissing his boyfriend when Seymore reached down to greet him. This all felt so _safe_. Why did he always fear it was a lie?

He gently lifted his small partner up, so he could sit in the chair himself, Ruvaen on his lap, while the pixie told him about all the plans for tomorrow. He kept spacing out, but tried to seem supportive. Unfortunately, Ruvaen noticed this.

,,Hey? You’re alright, sweetheart?’’ he asked gently.

,,Yes, I’m just… tired, I think,’’ he tried, but although Seymore was a pretty decent actor, lying wasn’t his strong side. ,,… Okay, no. I thought about… your idea, with me and Ivy…’’ he tried instead.

,,Oh, don’t worry about that,’’ he tried gently. ,,I wasn’t _mad_ that you said no, I just got _scared_ , Seymore. I don’t want to cross your boundaries. I just _thought_ I knew them, pretty well…’’ he said apologetic.

This was the last time he would have this choice. He could still back out, say thanks, and move on. But it would always linger between him and Ivy, and it would _always_ linger in the back of his head, the things she said and the truths that hurt so much.

Ruvaen would get _bored_ if he told him no too many times. He didn’t _doubt_ that was why Ivy so easily had accepted the idea…

,,No, it’s alright,’’ he said with a shaky smile, leaning down to Ruvaen. ,,I changed my mind. I want to try,’’ he said, as gentle as he could.

,,… Really?’’ he asked, not looking convinced. ,,You’re sure? You don’t have to do it, because of _me_. It’s not a _bad thing_ to have boundaries,’’ he tried.

,,I really want to. As long as you’re there, I’m ready for… just about anything,’’ he whispered longingly, sincerely. Ruvaen studied him for a moment more, before he nodded, smiling.

,,Okay. Okay! Amazing,’’ he chuckled. ,,You never cease to amaze me, my sweet, gentle troll. And I _know_ you’ll be gentle, don’t fear that,’’ he said warmly, caressing his loved one dearly.

That wasn’t his fear. He had _so_ many other fears, but he knew he was gentler now, than that night he and Ruvaen had first been together. He feared that whether or not he stepped into that bedroom, he would, in the end, leave alone. Fearing, that Ruvaen would never understand exactly _why_ , because he couldn’t explain that to him.

But sadly, while Seymore wasn’t a convincing liar, he was pretty good at acting…

Ivy didn’t look as convinced as she had sounded, when he finally stood naked in their bedroom. She didn’t look _terrified_ , as he had definitely seen in the past, but every snarky comment, that had led to this point, seemed to be forgotten. Seymore just assumed that fairies had a similar anatomy to pixies, and at this point, Ivy was probably just thanking her lucky star that he wasn’t proposing the idea of _anal_.

A more spiteful character had probably found some joy in her hesitation. Tried to taunt her, either into backing out of this, or into some compromising position they could use for later. But while Seymore was far from pure at heart, and couldn’t deny he enjoyed that her cockiness had gone down a notch, he was still very submissive in nature and waited, patiently, for Ruvaen to tell him what to do.

,,Really, what did you _expect_ , dear Ivy?’’ Ruvaen chuckled, as the fairy scooted away ever so slightly as the troll sat down beside her. He tried not to look intimidating, trying to make himself look small, but it didn’t seem to register with her.

,,Well he _is_ a small troll, I suppose…’’ she mumbled, getting up to sit beside Ruvaen instead. ,,How do _you_ make that work for you?’’ she asked, nodding to the troll on the other side of the bed, as if he wasn’t even there.

,,… I don’t. But I’ve never heard him _complain_ about being the bottom,’’ the pixie smirked. He gently guided the troll closer to them, and Seymore timidly moved, greeted by the small man’s lips on his.

He couldn’t help but to eye the fairy, as he rhythmically kissed his lover, deepening the kiss and subtly creating space between the pixie and fairy. He gently let his fingers fold into his lovers, caressing the small, beautiful creature in front of him, all while the burning, amber eyes observed the woman in front of him.

Ivy looked hurt. Not mad or disgusted. Just hurt. He closed his eyes, focusing on Ruvaen instead, as he should.

The pixie slowly pulled away, smiling, with those sparkly, blue eyes, he so dearly longed for. And although his lover’s eyes held all the promises in the world, he could never feel safe or content, when he turned around, kissing Ivy _just_ the same way. But to his surprise, Ivy didn’t taunt him. She didn’t look back at him, she barely even touched the small man, as if _she_ suddenly feared that she was trespassing.

Seymore scooted closer. Just ever so gently touching his lover, while the small man still kissed the woman. She didn’t seem as into it as he had assumed she would be, her confidence suddenly deflated. But he didn’t want to be the one to back out, and he didn’t want to put her on the spot if this was just how she usually was. Surely, Ruvaen would say something if she wasn’t okay with this. _Right?_

There was a short pause when Ruvaen pulled away from her. The room seemed to slow down, but he wasn’t sure if it was just his own head spinning. Without even noticing, he leaned forward, trying to kiss the fairy himself.

He didn’t usually do that. He had sometimes sneaked a kiss, when the mood was right, with some he found a little more special. But most times, he didn’t try to kiss the people Ruvaen brought into their bed. And while he still wasn’t particular fond of Ivy, he still wanted to make it clear that there was space for _both_ of them, not just now, but in general.

,,What are you doing?’’ she whispered, only for his ears to hear as he leaned closer. He gulped down his nervousness, leaning his forehead against hers, his own uncertainty present again.

,,Just relax,’’ he whispered gently, closing his eyes and inhaling quietly. She didn’t push him away when he leaned forward, but her lips were quivering. He wasn’t sure if she was as nervous as he, or if she just wasn’t into the idea of him being so close to her.

Her lips were gentle, but unfamiliar and nervous. He could feel her hands, subtly touching his arms as he kept kissing her, as if she tried to get a feel for the situation. He didn’t dare touch her, besides his lips against hers. Well aware that Ruvaen watched them intensely, he didn’t want to open his eyes, either, as if he feared it was all an illusion that would crack if he did so.

Besides all his hesitations, his mind and body still reacted just as _violently_ as it had done when it had all settled in with Ruvaen. _A troll_ , graced with the beauty of _a fairy_. His mind telling him that he didn’t deserve this, and _better_ had to make up for it. His body that reacted as it did normally, when it was offered anything warm and close.

She pulled away herself. He reluctantly opened his eyes, faced with the sparkling, emerald green eyes that studied him. There was no fondness, but no disgust either, and he settled with that as his hope.

,,Lay down,’’ she said, pushing him backwards with gentle fingers. Not hard enough to ever tip him over, but the firmness in her motions and voice was enough for him to do so, without hesitation. That was all she needed, it seemed, to gain her normal confidence back.

He had tried to think about this whole scenario as little as possible. He had tried not to wonder what they would do or how they would do it. If anything, he had _hoped_ they would just switch Ruvaen around, but he _knew_ that wasn’t the pixie’s wish. And as Ivy before had stated, she really _did_ want to do everything in her might to give her loved one _exactly_ what he wanted.

While Ivy was much taller than Ruvaen, she was still shorter than Seymore. The height difference didn’t really matter when he was laying down, with her on top of him, trying to regain some control of the situation. The troll just observed her, his hands underneath his body, as he silently submitted to whatever she had on her mind.

,,You’ll be a good boy, right?’’ Ruvaen smiled, gaining both of their attention again. Seymore nodded, watching how the pixie gently kissed his girlfriend again, as she tryingly rubbed against the troll.

The sight wasn’t as off putting, as he had first assumed it to be. The light against the dark contrasted each other beautifully, but so did everything else about them. With him, she was a little more timid, he was more direct. With her, he seemed even more sensual, than he already was.

Seymore’s body reacted before he noticed himself. Even soft had been an intimidating sight for the fairy, but when she felt him stiffen up and growing, she didn’t look more confident in her choice.

,,You got to be kidding me, right? How am I supposed to-,’’ she started, but Ruvaen kissed her again, slowly guiding her pelvis closer to the troll’s. With his other hand, he began to jerk off his boyfriend, getting him to full hardness. ,,Ruvaen, this is _madness_ ,’’ she whispered against the pixie’s grin, probably only for him to hear, but Seymore’s ears were good, and all his senses seemed to be alerted.

,,… I’ll be very gentle, miss…’’ the troll panted, beginning to feel as excited as his body already was. He still had his arms behind his back, and he merely watched as the small pixie placed Ivy just above his all too eager cock. ,,Just tell me so, if you wish to stop…’’ he said, sincerely hoping not to either scare or harm her.

She looked at him for a long moment, before she began to sit down, patiently as he slowly filled her out. It painfully took him back to a past before Ruvaen, where he was much more likely to force himself in. The girls he had been with since were mostly bigger, but Ivy was petite and nervous, and he could clearly tell.

,,Wait,’’ he croaked. ,,Let me… Let me make it a little easier, yerh?’’ he said, and tried as gently as he could to get her on top of his face. She squealed at first, but then Ruvaen was behind her, gently cooing her to calm down.

,,Shh, it’s alright. You’re too nervous, baby. Lean back and just _relax_ , _trust me_ , he is _really_ good at this,’’ the pixie said, holding around her as Seymore began to lick her. He was as gentle as could be, until he felt her hips grind against his face. Then his tongue became a little more _insisting_ , working around her clitoris where she seemed to be most sensitive.

As time had passed, Seymore probably enjoyed oral more than penetrative sex with women. It didn’t make him as nervous, and he found it fascinating to study how differently women reacted from one another. Ivy was pretty hard to read, but her body wasn’t.

He whimpered at he suddenly felt something _enter_ the fairy. He barely had to look up to know the Ruvaen’s cock was in her, just judging by how wet she suddenly became. She wasn’t as vocal as the pixie, but it was harder for her to keep up her stern and stoic posture when their boyfriend fucked her, while the troll licked her so gently.

,,You like this, don’t you? I can _see_ how you’re drooling to feel her, too,’’ Ruvaen said. He rarely joined like this, but it shouldn’t really surprise him that this was the exception. The pixie was a little rougher with Ivy than he had expected him to be, making her whine, leaning more of her sweet, slick pussy into the troll’s hungry mouth, grabbing his head to guide him better. ,,You’re more into this than I would have hoped,’’ he whispered gently to the fairy.

It was hard to move like this, but he didn’t need to. Ivy was almost laying down on top of his face, clinging to the wall in front of her for some sort of support, pinning the troll’s arms and shoulders in place, as Ruvaen rather roughly pounded into her. He wanted to feel her himself _so badly_ , his former hesitation replaced with his clouded, horny mind, but he was still patient, waiting for any kind of indication that it was ‘his turn’.

,, _Bui Elana…_ ’’ she cried out, her body shaking violently against his face. It kept coming, in waves of spasms and unrecognizable words, he guessed was elvish. He kept licking, upping the pace ever so slightly, making sure first to stop when she pulled away, breathing heavily and her pretty face drenched in pearls of sweat.

,,See? I promised, he was good at this,’’ Ruvaen purred, gently holding around the fairy. He was still inside her, as far Seymore could tell, but not moving as much. ,,You feel _very_ warm and wet, dear. You think you can handle my pretty, little troll?’’ he asked seductively, sending pleasant shockwaves through Seymore’s body at the words. It looked like Ivy most of all wanted to call quits, if he had to guess.

,,She doesn’t have to…’’ he said, moving slowly as he wasn’t as fixated by their bodies anymore.

,,What? Yes, I… Just give me a moment, it’s not that I don’t want to…’’ she said slowly, still panting. ,,I just don’t usually come first,’’ she explained. Both her and Ruvaen moved, releasing the troll from his otherwise comfortable position, laying on either side of him.

,,Oh…’’ the troll said, trying to keep the gentle chuckled out of his voice. ,,That’s okay. Just lay back, and I’ll… I’ll be very gentle, okay?’’ he repeated, moving to sit on his knees right in front of her. It was hard for him to believe he was _this_ hard, but he couldn’t deny that his body wasn’t as hesitant about this scenario, as his mind had been.

,, _This is absurd_ ,’’ she mumbled underneath her breath, but still slowly parted her legs, touching herself as Seymore gently began to push into her. It was a lot easier now, but still not nearly as easy or assuring for him as it had been with larger women. ,, _Very_ slow…’’ she panted, looking up at him in a way, he had barely thought was possible.

,,Of course. Just relax,’’ he smiled, leaning down to nuzzle his head against the crook of her neck. He wasn’t sure if she would allow this, but she didn’t push him off, to his relief. ,,Just tell me… if I need to change anything…’’ he said quietly, keeping the pace slow and gentle.

,,Stop being so _nice_ to me!’’ she whispered between gritted teeth. ,,Just get it over with…’’ she muttered, placing her hands around his neck.

,,… _You’re really troublesome…_ ’’ he growled quietly, hoping not to startle her. ,, _You can’t expect me both to rush things_ and _be gentle at once…_ ’’ But he kept his movements slow, even if he could move around rather easily. The last thing he wanted, was for Ivy to have more reasons to despise him.

,,See? It looks _so good_ ,’’ Ruvaen panted somewhere behind him. Seymore felt the pixie’s curious hands at his ass, and for once, he didn’t hope to get a spanking. If he began to touch him like that, he wasn’t sure he could keep good on his promise of being gentle. ,,I think it’s _my turn_ to have a _piece of this_ ,’’ he smirked, rubbing his dick against Seymore’s expose ass.

,,Ah, maybe… this is not the time…’’ he said, nervously looking up, but Ruvaen only held him, caressing him lovingly until the troll seemed less tense.

,,No? _I can be gentle too,_ you know,’’ he chuckled quietly. ,,You’re clean, right?’’ Seymore nodded, closing his eyes. ,,Then what’s the problem, baby?’’

,, _I’m afraid to lose control_ ,’’ he growled quietly, knowing neither would understand him, but it seemed like the pixie already knew of his fears.

,,It’s fine, sweety. I guide, you follow, right?’’ he said gently, pushing just the slightest forward, until the troll spread his ass himself.

The feeling of slowly being filled, while still inside the fairy underneath him, was almost enough for him to lose his cool. Ruvaen rarely fucked him _gently_ , but the touch was all that; gentle, loving… promising. If Ivy really wanted him to hurry up, this would be the easiest way.

But while he felt Ruvaen’s firm, guiding hands on his hips, and the fairy clenching so tightly around him, his mind still slipped and he still had the urge to _ram_ into her. It wasn’t like before, just some _animalistic_ lust that he held, it was a desire to show her just _who_ was in charge. A desire to pay her back for all the hurt she had caused him, not only in regards to Ruvaen, but in general.

When he finally opened his eyes again, he found that she was watching him, her eyes so soft and inviting. He faintly remembered the hurt look they had held, when he had kissed Ruvaen at first, and all the guilt landed back onto him again.

,,… I’m sorry,’’ he whispered, loud enough for Ruvaen to hear, but it seemed like Ivy thought it was for her alone. ,,I… I’m sorry, I can’t…’’ he said, pulling out and waiting for Ruvaen to do the same.

,,What’s wrong?’’ he asked concerned, slipping out, but still sitting behind him. ,,You’re doing _fine_ , baby, just fine,’’ he assured him.

,,… I’m sorry, I can’t right now… It’s not you, I promise,’’ he said, when Ivy was about to say something. He hugged the blanket tightly, covering himself, but feeling more naked than the people around him. His chest clenched, and the tears burned daringly behind his closed eyes.

,,Hey now. Are you okay, baby? Did I get too eager?’’ the pixie asked gently, moving around so he could look at the troll’s pained face. He didn’t want to face them, either of them. He just wanted to fade away, right here, if he could.

,,… It didn’t hurt,’’ she assured him, but luckily, she didn’t come closer. But that was the least of his concerns.

,,I’m just… I _can’t_ right now, I’m sorry…’’ he said, hoping, _begging_ inside for them both to leave the room.

,,It’s okay, shh, it’s okay,’’ Ruvaen assured him, gently cupping his cheeks. ,,You did really well, baby. It’s fine, let’s stop, for now,’’ he said gently, stretching his neck to kiss the troll’s forehead.

,,… Thank you…’’ he muttered, hugging the blanket tighter. ,,… Can I… have a moment? For myself?’’ he asked, finally looking down at the concerned, ice-blue eyes. He knew Ruvaen wouldn’t want to leave him like this, but he didn’t want to talk about it. He _couldn’t_ talk about this.

This didn’t concern his own feelings towards Ivy. It was much more about the fact, that regardless of how he put it, and regardless how long he thought about it, he would _never_ be able to look at the fairy again, without _knowing_ that he had taken something from her. Something, that was never his to take, although it would never be hers, either. Something, he couldn’t keep, no matter how dearly he clung to it.

He loved Ruvaen with all his heart, but he didn’t want this to be his life. He wanted to be told that he was loved. He wanted to live steadily, at some point, with a less stressing day-job, his _husband_ and if he could be so greedy, a couple of little ones running around. He didn’t even mind if all this had included Ivy. He didn’t mind if it was _their_ kids running around. For once, he was _determined_ he could have made all that work…

… If he wasn’t the only one working towards that. And he was. Ruvaen had shot his simple dreams down plenty of times, and he couldn’t imagine that Ivy wanted anything their lover didn’t. He was alone with this dream, and he felt so _alien_ all of a sudden.

,,Okay…’’ Ruvaen finally said, gently letting go of his lover. ,,If you need anything, we’re _just_ outside, okay?’’ he tried, but his eyes were so _hurt_ and uncertain. Seymore nodded, but tried not to look at them again, as they began to collect their clothes.

And then, he was alone. Alone, like before, he thought, as he finally let the tears roll down his cheeks.

He could still hear Ruvaen and Ivy talk outside the door, their voices hushed, but not subtle enough for him not to pick up on. Ruvaen sounded concerned, stating he had _never_ seen Seymore like this. Fearing that he might have pushed him too hard…

Ivy, that gently said it wasn’t about that. Her voice revealing that she knew _exactly_ why he sat there. That she had been in his position before. He wondered how many times she had sat here, like him, _devastated_ by the simple fact, that she could never have Ruvaen the way she wanted.

He had thought all of Ruvaen was a perfect compromise; A man in control, an openminded partner, who didn’t mind to share, and someone he could _dedicate_ himself to. He _had_ wanted that. It _had_ been his new dream. But if Ruvaen was allowed to be consequent with his way of living, Seymore was allowed to change his mind.

But… where would he go, if he wasn’t here? Not home, that was for sure. He would probably _never_ had been able to go home, but he knew the option was far gone now. He didn’t want to ask Feylin for help, either, even if she kept writing to him, that he could always visit if he needed anything. He figured _a new home_ was too much to ask for, from his sister. He wasn’t even sure she would be as kind, if she knew _why_ he would ask her for help.

,,Seymore?’’ Ruvaen called from outside the door, knocking gently. ,,We’ll go for a walk. Do you want to join?’’ he asked gently.

,,No, it’s alright,’’ he croaked, his voice shivering. He wanted to stop him. He wanted to tell him all kinds of things, all his worries and _beg_ for him to give him _anything_ to grab onto, so he could reason with himself and stay. But he knew he wouldn’t. He knew Ruvaen would _never_ want to hurt Seymore, but he could only give so much of himself. No matter what he said, or how much he cried, that would never change.

,,… Okay, then. I’ll leave my phone here, just call Ivy’s number if you need anything, okay, sweety?’’ he said. He could still hear them chatter around, fiddling with shoes and coats, when it suddenly hit him; they really were about to leave.

He panicked, throwing on his pants and almost _jumped_ out the door, gaining both of their attention again. Ruvaen’s gaze was so confused and concerned, and he couldn’t even _hope_ that the tear-strains weren’t visible. But something inside him _knew_ that if he didn’t stop Ruvaen now, he would never see him again.

,,Wait,’’ he begged, fumbling with his long limbs as he slumped out of the bedroom. ,,I, ahm…’’ he tried, but suddenly felt very aware that even _Ivy_ didn’t send him dirty looks. ,,… Take care. And… thank you, for always being so patient with me…’’ he said, trying his best to smile, blinking the tears away.

,,Of course, sweetheart,’’ he smiled, walking up to the troll, gently taking both of his hands. His smile was as bright and comforting as the very day they had met, and he wanted to _really_ look at this man, for all he was worth. Not his beauty, not his skills. Just his kindness and his heart, he so dearly cherished.

For him, Ruvaen deserved _everything_ this world could offer. And everyone deserved someone like him. Maybe not as their lover, but as a mentor, a friend or even just a friendly face to pass by, in a sea of greyness and uncertainty. He _loved_ him. And he could not imagine loving anyone the same way, ever again.

,,You don’t want to go with us?’’ Ruvaen asked again, gesturing to the front door, but Seymore still shook his head.

,,It’s fine. I think I’m just… tired…’’ he tried, knowing all too well that his loved one wouldn’t buy it. But he didn’t give him the opportunity to argue with him, as he leaned down, kissing those plump lips that held so many whispers and promises, so many sweet, _all too sweet_ words for only him to hear. For the last time, he thought, as he unwillingly pulled away again.

,,We’ll be back soon,’’ he promised, slowly letting go of the troll’s hands. Maybe he knew he would come home to an empty apartment? Maybe he knew it was time to let Seymore go? Maybe he didn’t suspect anything.

Ruvaen walked up to Ivy, ready to leave, but the fairy stopped. _She_ knew, that was clear to him, but for once, he wasn’t sure if she _liked_ that. It was hard to read her, her emerald eyes looming subtly at him, as the pixie opened up the door.

,,Are you coming?’’ Ruvaen asked, reaching out, but Ivy kept staring at the troll, not moving the slightest.

,,… Yes, just one minute. Can you go grab us some coffee? From that café, you know? They are still open, I think,’’ she said, smiling to the suddenly very tired looking pixie.

,,Of course. And Seymore?’’ he said, turning around one last time. ,,Just call me, if you need anything.’’ The troll nodded, and the pixie finally left, walking down the stairs and closing the door to their small apartment, leaving him alone with the fairy again.

,,You don’t have to go,’’ she said, as the footsteps had barely faded away. She wasn’t playing around, but there was still no softness in her gaze. ,,I _know_ that’s what you’re thinking, don’t even deny it,’’ she said harshly.

,,I won’t deny it,’’ he simply said. ,,Because you’re right.’’

,,You _don’t have to go_ ,’’ she said again, this time, almost _pleading_. ,,I _know_ you think I want that. And… It’s very… It’s _very_ …’’ she tried, but found no words.

,,It’s very complicated,’’ he finished for her, his gaze sad and defeated. ,,I want… I want something _simple_. Not because I don’t want to fight for someone I love. I will. I _have_. But Ruvaen has _centuries_ to figure out what he wants or live completely different _lives_ if he wanted to. I don’t. I have my time. And I can’t… I _can’t_ spend all of it here,’’ he said apologetic.

,,Then _I’ll_ leave,’’ she said, surprising him with the slight sob in her voice. ,,… I have lots of time. I’ll be back, _a hundred times_ if that’s what it takes… I can wait a couple of hundred years…’’ she tried. ,,I don’t want him to be unhappy.’’

,,I know…’’ he said, feeling tall and awkward again. ,,… But he will be. You can’t prevent him from ever feeling _sad_ , Ivy. It will make him sad if he feels he has to _choose_ between us. And… you’re not the problem… _I’m_ the problem,’’ he said carefully.

,,I _know_ I said that, but I didn’t mean it like _this_ ,’’ she tried.

,,… But I am. I don’t… _belong_ here. I don’t belong anywhere, really. I _love_ Ruvaen, but I don’t _fit in_ with the two of you. You want what’s best for him, and so do I. But _I’m_ not what’s best for him, because… I can’t _stay_ here…’’ he said quietly.

,,Let me talk to him-,’’ she tried, but he just gently held up his hand, shaking his head.

,,No. It’s okay, I promise. Just… _promise me_ to take good care of him. He doesn’t need it, but _I_ need to know that you’ll do that,’’ he smiled.

She didn’t answer him. He had never seen her so pale, her yellow tint almost ghost white at this point.

,,I understand why you sent me away, that day,’’ he then said, looking down at his bare feet. ,,I never meant to intrude on your relation. I never meant to fall in love with him,’’ he said, painfully truthful.

,,Hah, of course you didn’t,’’ she laughed nervously. ,,No one does. It’s not his fault. But people simply just can’t help it…’’ she said.

He walked up to her with slow steps, gently placing a hand on the doorknob. She didn’t look like someone who was ready to leave, but she probably knew she couldn’t change his mind.

,,Where will you go?’’ she asked, when he opened up the door, hoping she would take the hint.

,,… I don’t know. And even if I did, I probably wouldn’t tell you,’’ he smiled sadly. ,,One last thing… How do you usually handle it, when he has other partners? I mean… He must _know_ you’re weren’t _thrilled_ about me,’’ he asked, as the fairy stepped outside.

,,Normally it’s not a problem,’’ she told him. ,,You were special. He kept you the longest,’’ she said, not even turning around to look at him. With that, she left, leaving him with the finally empty apartment and the silence, that only got broken by his own, gentle sobs.

On another day, where he hadn’t left everything behind, he might have enjoyed this cramped, rundown, but warm, inn, that he had found by mere accident on his travel. The travelers surrounded here was celebrating; for what, he did not know. But their uneven voices rang throughout the place, surely elaborating the mood and making it nearly impossible to have a conversation in here.

But he didn’t want to hold up any conversations, anyway. He just wanted to rest for a bit, looking outside the window at the pouring rain as he slowly emptied his third mug. He knew his means were sparse, but the only thing that really warmed him now seemed to be alcohol, that timidly held his thoughts and tears at bay.

‘Orc Inn’ didn’t sound inviting. He had feared to be faced with, well, _orcs_ , but none seemed to be present. Mostly dwarves, way drunker than even himself, and a gargoyle that seemed to run the place. He didn’t say much, but Seymore only needed few words to place an order.

He had packed the few things he owned; a couple of books, he had bought himself in his years in the Center Isles, some spare clothes and his slumping savings. His earrings and all other gifts he had gotten from Ruvaen, he had left behind. Not that he wasn’t grateful for everything the pixie had given him, but looking at books or jewelry from his ex-lover would bring him no joy in the near future. Maybe never.

Everything seemed more dim here, in the West. Maybe it was because of the extremely wet climate they had here, or maybe it was just the spring that seemed gloomy, not over the darkness from the winter? Or maybe it was just the simple fact, that he was all alone, with no idea what he should do with himself.

He could get a job, but not many would need help at this time of the year. There weren’t many rich families looking for extra hands to help in the West, and he didn’t have the means to start anything up himself. Before he had moved to the Center Isles, it had always been the plan that he should work in the Oatoak village, but that wasn’t the case, anymore. People weren’t that keen on trolls. Just like orcs, their reputation wasn’t great, but a troll his size had no place, neither in troll society, nor in the West in general.

The Center Isles would have even less to offer him. That was his whole reasoning for even coming back to the West. Even if he was viewed as a hybrid there, and even if hybrids were much less discriminated against in the Center Isles, he was still visibly _a troll_. No matter what they thought his other half was, he would still be perceived as nothing less than a troll, as he had been for almost 7 years.

He had been lost in thoughts, when a harpy suddenly sat at his table. At first, he wondered if she had mistaken him for someone else, because she looked so intensely at him with her narrow, yellow eyes.

,,I haven’t seen you before,’’ she finally said, after looking at him for what felt like an eternity. Even through his drunken haze and the loud singing that ran through the inn, her voice seemed clear as daylight, as if it cut through anything standing in its way.

,,That sounds about right,’’ he mumbled, but she clearly picked up on it. He was too drunk and too tired to really care about pleasantries at this point, so he just continued to look outside the window. It seemed like she joined him, judging by their reflections.

,,What’s so interesting out there?’’ she finally asked. ,,The party is going on _in here_ ,’’ she chuckled, light and melodic.

,,… There’s nothing interesting out there,’’ he admitted, feeling the loss of his lover sting. ,,I’m not in a party mood. I just don’t want to be out in the rain,’’ he said dismissively.

,,Really? A troll who doesn’t want an excuse to go rambunctious? That’s a first,’’ she said, so dryly that it caught his attention. He looked back at the smirking harpy, who studied him just as intensely as before. ,,What is it? You _are_ a troll, are you not? It’s hard to tell, I haven’t seen trolls quite as…’’ she said, looking for the right word.

,,… _small_. I know,’’ he sighed, taking another big gulp of his mug.

,,… I would have said _green_ … Not quite as _green_. In the south, trolls are more greyish,’’ she explained. He felt the heat rise to his cheeks, but didn’t answer otherwise. He was too used to people looking at his height, when in the West. ,,I didn’t mean to offend you, Mr. You’re just quite hard to have a conversation with,’’ she sighed.

,,I’m not really in the mood for conversations,’’ he said, looking away again. The less he paid attention to her, the sooner she would leave, he hoped.

,,You’re no fun, Mr. Troll. Oh well. I just thought you looked like someone who needed a little help, that’s all,’’ she shrugged. Something in her voice piqued his interest, and she slowly gained his attention again.

,,What do you mean?’’ he said cautiously.

,,Well, you look _sad_. And you’re so _defensive!_ It’s Vernal Equinox, _everybody_ is celebrating, and yet, you look like _the world is falling apart!_ ’’ she said, gesturing around them. He was about to say something, when the alcohol finally settled behind his eyes, making them dangerously glossy. He couldn’t hope that she hadn’t noticed, because it seemed to get her to calm down in an instant. ,,… Oh. I’m sorry,’’ she just said, barely loud enough to cut through the sound of his violent heartbeat. 

,,No, it’s alright…’’ he said slowly, awkwardly tapping on the table. ,,… I didn’t want to be rude, miss. I’m just… having a tough day…’’ he said apologetic, finally looking up at the yellow eyes again. Her pupils were small and observing, but he tried not to look too far into that.

,,It’s okay. It’s _spring_ , it’s time for _change_ ,’’ she smiled. ,,I know it can be hard. I just had a pretty big change myself,’’ she told, her tone suddenly somber. The alcohol and his curiosity got the better of him, when he gentle asked:

,,… Dare to tell me your story?’’ He tried to smile comfortingly, but he wasn’t sure it came across. Although he had no interest in sharing anything about himself with a stranger, he thought that maybe she did? Maybe she needed a listening ear? He didn’t want to pry, but maybe this could get his mind of his own troubles, for a while?

,,It’s very short,’’ she scoffed. ,,I just got kicked out from my job, because some jackass knocked me up,’’ she said, her feathers ruffling up a bit. She was very blunt about it, surprising him a tad, but he still tried to seem apologetic.

,,I’m sorry to hear that, miss…’’

,,It’s alright. I didn’t really want to stay, I’m just sad I left my sister behind. I couldn’t take her with me, because I have no means to provide for myself _or_ the baby, let alone two adult harpies,’’ she sighed. Then she suddenly looked at him, much more mischievously than before, startling him for a moment. ,,Why are _you_ out here, Mr. Troll?’’

,,… It’s a longer story, I’d rather not tell,’’ he said, moving uncomfortably in his seat. ,,The short version is that I’m looking for a place to work. And hopefully, a place I can stay as well,’’ he said, making her eyes twinkle.

,,Is that so? Then, what would you say if I told you about a place that could give you _exactly_ that?’’ she giggled, strangely flirtatiously, reaching out for him and making him scoot away quickly. It seemed to surprise her that he had nearly _jumped_ _away_ like that, and she eyed him in a whole different kind of light _this_ time. ,, _Oooh_ …’’ she said again, nodding acknowledging and looking him up and down.

,,Don’t say that,’’ he said quickly. ,,Don’t act you like you can just… _tell_ …’’ he said, feeling paranoid by his own emotional state.

,,No, no, _relax_. This will be _perfect_ for you, she’ll _not care_ , I _promise!_ ’’ she smiled, trying to get him to calm down again, but it didn’t work.

,,Whatever you think _that_ is, it’s not _true_ ,’’ he said harshly, scooting further away from where she sat.

,,It _doesn’t matter_ what your case is! _Please_ , just listen to me, let’s help each other out,’’ she tried, chuckling nervously. ,,… Not _like that_ , if that’s what you thought. Gods no,’’ she grimaced, almost insulting him instead. ,, _Listen_ to me, Mr. Troll. You want work, aye?’’

,,… Aye…’’ he said slowly, trying to relax again. He was pushed up against the window frame, the rain hammering on the glass, not calming his nerves at all.

,, _Aye_. And _I_ want someone to keep an eye on my sister. It will be a perfect deal for both of us, don’t you think?’’ she smiled. Her golden feathers ruffled up, making her look younger than she probably was. If he had to guess, she was older than himself.

,,… Why would you offer a _stranger_ work? What _kind_ of work?’’ he asked slowly. Something felt so off, but he couldn’t help but feel intrigued. Maybe this would be an easy way to get his feet on the ground, he thought.

,,Do you need work?’’ she asked, seemingly losing her patience with him. He nodded, the long ears flopping around his head. ,,Okay, then _listen:_ You’ll _never_ find this place, just by accident. You look like someone who could use a break from _the whole world_ , for a while. I’ll _give_ you the coordinates, _but!_ ’’ she said, gaining his full attention again. ,,You’ll _have_ to _promise me_ to keep an eye on my sister. I don’t need you to do anything special, just make sure nothing _bad_ happens to her,’’ she said seriously.

,,What _bad_ things could happen?’’ he asked concerned.

,,… Let me explain what it is instead: It’s a job on a castle. As servants and maids, cooks and housekeepers. The staff there is mostly made up of lost souls. People without direction, or people who need to escape, for a while. Sounds alluring?’’ she said, smiling when she saw it caught his interest.

,,Yes, but… It’s in South? That’s a long-,’’ he began, but she stopped him.

,,No, it’s here in the West. It’s still a long travel, but there’s a gateway from here to Mokar,’’ she said, but it only seemed to confuse him more.

,,There’s no castles in the West. We have no kingdoms,’’ he said carefully, when her words really dawned on him. ,,Mokar? That’s a _dead island_ , isn’t it? Nothing can grow there. There’s no cities or towns or anything,’’ he said confused. ,,Why would anyone build a castle _there?_ ’’ The harpy shrugged, her smile mischievously as ever.

,,Who knows? It’s a good place, if you want to be alone. Or, if you simply _are_ alone,’’ she said calculated. He knew she didn’t tell him the full lengths of her story, alluring to leaving something _crucial_ behind, but he could hardly judge her. ,,And no, there’s no kingdoms in the West. The Madam of the Greenlight castle isn’t royal, by any means. She’s something _much_ better,’’ she smiled, leaning against the troll, that suddenly held his breath, as if _that_ was the loudest sound in the inn. ,,She’s a _sorceress_.’’

Just the word made his skin crawl, and even if he did his best to hide it, it seemed like she noticed. He was about to ask, why he would _ever_ want to work for a sorceress, in the middle of nowhere, in a castle he had _never_ even heard of, but then he paused. He knew _exactly_ why he would be so desperate.

,,That’s right,’’ she said, almost chuckling. ,,Trolls aren’t that fond of magic, are they?’’ He shook his head, looking down into his empty mug. How _desperate_ would he be to get a roof over his head, if he would work at a _sorceress castle?_

,,Why couldn’t you stay there? With the baby?’’ he asked, trying to regain the little cool he had.

,,… The Madam doesn’t like babies…’’ she simply said, her tone flat and matter-of-factly, in a way that deemed _this_ topic was off-hand, from the otherwise friendly woman. She had been lost in thoughts for a moment, before she noticed his worried stare. ,,She is a very powerful sorceress, coming _all_ the way from Vaihines. Maybe even more powerful than Rubeus Ebneus? You probably don’t know him, I guess. He’s one of the greatest sorcerers of _all time._ ’’ She then looked back at his confused gaze, before she giggled lightly. ,,This probably doesn’t make you less scared, either,’’ she said gently.

,,No,’’ he croaked, scratching at his hands. ,,… If she’s so powerful, what does she needs staff for, anyway?’’ he asked. He wanted to ask what she meant about _Vaihines_ , but he opted not to. It didn’t matter, if some sorceress claimed that she was from the Mainland, or if some dared to believe her. As much as Vaihines existed, as impossible would it be to travel between that and Aenamo itself. But it made for great stories, he guessed.

,,Well, she’s working on furthering her magic. _All the time_. You’ll rarely even _see_ her around, and no, she doesn’t usually use her powers around the castle. Which is a pain for the staff, but not for you, I guess,’’ she chuckled. ,,And I mean… If you’re just some exiled troll, what do you have to lose, really? You can always just _leave_ if you don’t like it there,’’ she shrugged.

,,… Who said I was exiled?’’ he said slowly, his cheeks burning lightly. She perked her lips a couple of times, before she sighed.

,,Look. It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about… _whatever happened_ to you. And I don’t want to be rude, but a _small_ troll, traveling and looking for a job _nowhere near_ his village? That _screams_ exile. _Why_ that would be, you know best… But let me tell you, _that_ will be your _greatest_ strength if you talk with the Madam. She has a thing for _outcasts_ and people in need,’’ she smiled, leaving the table and walking away.

,,Wait, I ahm…’’ But she was already too far away from the table to hear anything over the banter and chatter around the inn. The music seemed _louder_ now, and he had seemingly sobered up quite a bit while they had talked, because he didn’t feel as lightheaded anymore. Instead, he had a beginning headache. When he looked outside, the rain had stopped…

He took a quick breath of air, then he collected his things and ran after her. She was already at the bar, chatting with the bartender, when he stumbled in-between the cheering crowd. It seemed to amuse her, when he awkwardly tried to make his way across the inn, getting picked up by gargoyles and chatted up with dwarves alike. But it was very clear she had expected him to follow her, when she handed him a note with some scribbled numbers on it.

,,The coordinates,’’ she smirked satisfied, when he reached out for it. ,,Not so fast, Mr. Troll,’’ she said, pulling it out of his reach. ,,What did I tell you?’’

,,… To keep an eye on your sister?’’ he asked, trying to collect all the information she had told him.

,,Aye. And by the Gods, make sure she doesn’t end up pregnant. _No matter_ _what_ ,’’ she said strictly, finally letting him have the piece of paper.

,,Thank you,’’ he said. He didn’t want to ask her _how_ he was supposed to keep her from getting pregnant. He didn’t want to think of that. ,,What’s her name?’’ he asked instead.

,,Mellis. She’s the only other harpy there, as far as I know. Tell her I said hi,’’ she smiled sadly.

,,… I didn’t get your name,’’ he suddenly realized.

,,I’m Aroris,’’ she smiled, stretching her hand to greet him. He did the same, her hand vanishing in his own.

,,I’m Seymore. Seymore Oatoak,’’ he said, full of hope by the snip of paper in his hands. ,,How will I find… the castle? Who will I ask for?’’

,,You’ll ask for _Willa Greenlight_ , the Madam of the castle. Don’t hold back when telling her your story. _Trust me_ , she’ll not judge _whatever_ kind of situation you have going on,’’ she said sternly. Then she smiled. ,,And don’t worry. You’ll find the castle. You need it.’’

He didn’t get to ask her what she meant, before he felt a slight tug and got pulled into the crowd of singing dwarves. After the slight chock had settled, and he gently thanked them for letting him go, Aroris where nowhere to be found. The gargoyle who run the inn didn’t seem talkative, and after all, he had everything he needed to find the castle, he hoped.

Seymore looked outside the window again. It was very late, but if he was lucky, he could get to Mokar fairly early. With this in mind, he left the inn, not even turning around to see Aroris, watching him carefully as he went out the door…

… ,,Odd fella,’’ the gargoyle said to the harpy. ,,You _sure_ he won’t do your sister harm? Troll, after all.’’ His grey eyes never left the glass in his hands, that he neatly polished as if it were made of diamonds.

,,I don’t think he will,’’ she said slowly. ,,He seemed like he _really_ needed somewhere to hide. And really, where would be better than _Mokar?_ ’’ she shrugged. ,,I just hope Mellis will be alright,’’ she said, as she took a sip on a mug in front of her. The gargoyle raised an eyebrow, looking around.

,,I guess there’s no reason to pretend your pregnancy, anymore,’’ he shrugged, as he filled her mug with more of the red liquid. She laughed shortly, before she shook her head.

,,No, I just needed to keep it up, so he wouldn’t tell the Madam. The Gods forbid that she finds out that I lied to her…’’ she said, shuddering slightly. ,,But I just couldn’t stay there, when I found out what she hid in her library…’’

,,What is it, sweety?’’ Her voice was calm and collected, but overly _patient_. The harpy knew _better_ than to disturb her in the middle of reading, or so she thought. But here she was, _surely_ something _important_ must have made itself present, if she _dared_ knocking at her door at this time of the night.

,,Excuse me, Ma’am, but… There’s a visitor, for you. Ava found him in the pouring rain. He must have walked for _days_ ,’’ she said worriedly. The woman looked up from her book, eyeing the frightened harpy girl yet again. Then she looked out of her big, ceiling to floor length window, on the pouring, freezing spring rain that seemed to never end.

,,They must be _mad_ to walk around Mokar at this time of year. And at this hour?’’ she mumbled, getting up from her desk.

,,He has _no shoes_ ,’’ the harpy whispered, her face rather pale. ,,I’m not even sure how he _survived_ this long. I’m pretty sure he has a fever,’’ she said, daringly looking up at the Madam again.

,,Is he from far away? Since he doesn’t know about the very isles of the West?’’ she asked.

,,I… I don’t think so… I think he’s a _troll_ ,’’ she said quietly.

,,You think?’’ the Madam asked, her patience running short. ,,How can you _think_ he’s a troll? They’re pretty hard to not notice,’’ she said.

,,That’s it,’’ she said. ,,He’s like… really short, for a troll. But he’s definitely has the green skin of a troll from the West,’’ she said, just as confused. The Madam was quiet for a while, just looking outside the window.

,,Send him in,’’ she finally said. She didn’t even need to turn around to feel the young woman’s stare.

,,In _here?_ ’’

,, _Yes_ , in here! If he has a fever, I need to see him _instantly_ ,’’ she said sternly, turning around again, but the harpy was already gone. She sat down behind the desk, waiting patiently as she heard footsteps and mangled voices in the hallway.

When the doors opened up again, the harpy pushed a barely dry, clearly feverish young man into her room, waiting outside the room herself. She understood why Mellis hadn’t been sure if he was a troll or not, but her best guess was that he indeed _was_ a troll. Trolls from the West weren’t known to produce hybrids, but everyone could get a _defective_ kid, she thought mindlessly as she got up from her chair.

,,G-good evening, Ma’am. Thank you for seeing m-me, this late…’’ he stuttered. His clothes were dry. Clearly Mellis or the other staff had got him something new to wear, so he wouldn’t drip onto the floors.

,,The pleasure is mine, Mr. …?’’ she asked, quiet warmly as she put out her hand. Her long, gloved hand hang in the air, with no indication he was to take it. He gently held his arms around himself, barely standing upright.

,,S-Seymore… Oatoak…’’ he stammered, leaning against the door.

,,I’m Willa Greenlight, the Madam of the castle. It’s very late, Mr. Oatoak, so I’ll _gladly_ listen to whatever you have on your mind _tomorrow_. I’ll have Mellis fix a bed for you, if you’ll just let me take care of your fever really quick…’’ she began, but the troll scooted away from her. It suddenly occurred to her that he wasn’t just shivering and stammering because of the cold; he was afraid of her.

,,There’s r-really no need for that Ma’am…’’ he tried. ,,I don’t want to be a bother. I’ll be _happy_ to talk w-with you tomorrow, but I _really_ don’t need the healing.’’ Her brows furrowed and she looked concerned at the man in front of her.

,,I’m not sure you’ll survive the night, Mr. It’ll be over in a heartbeat,’’ she said, reaching out but he just fell to the floor, even startling her in the process.

,,No, no, it’s okay…’’ he tried, as calmly as he could. She didn’t know what to do. People normally didn’t react this way. ,,… I am looking for a job, Ma’am…’’ he said instead, as to clear the silence.

,,Yes, and we’ll talk about that _tomorrow_ , but young man, you’ve been outside for heavens know how long, and the weather is _much_ harsher here than other places in the West,’’ she said, trying to reason with the troll.

,,… Troll’s don’t like magic…’’ he croaked, finally meeting her gaze. His raspy voice was so small and fragile, as if he was a little kid that didn’t want to take his medicine, even if he was a full-grown man. And while she knew very little about trolls, this was downright _absurd_ to her.

,,Mellis!’’ she yelled instead, the harpy opening the door in an instant, almost making the scared troll fall over. ,,Bring me tea. The one made from the golden flower from South. And warm towels,’’ she said hastily. ,,And make sure to prepare a bed for our guest tonight. Something on the first floor. Near a bathroom,’’ she called after the girl. The troll looked timidly up at the sorceress, as the harpy hasted away, on her way to the kitchen.

,,I’m sorry that I’m causing trouble,’’ he said, this time, with no stutter. She tried to extend her hand again, and surprisingly enough, he took it as she helped him to stand anew.

,,That’s alright, Mr. I can’t use the _dead_ as staff,’’ she said, almost smiling. He looked thankfully down at her, as she guided him to sit down in front of her desk, before she went to check if Mellis was on her way.

,,Thank you, Ma’am.’’ When she turned around to look at him, he had fainted at her desk, his breath heavy and his face red. As she held her hand over the unconscious troll, she couldn’t help but think he wouldn’t have survived one more night out there. Maybe Ava wasn’t as useless of a seer as she had thought…

,,Where am I?’’ His throat felt sore, as if he hadn’t spoken for a while. He didn’t recognize anything around him, the place unfamiliar and almost _threatening_ with its elegance. The bed he laid in was big, warm and soft, and he felt _heavy_ when he tried to sit up, to get a better look at his surroundings.

On the bedside table were a glass of water, a teapot, surprisingly still warm, sugar, milk and honey, all arranged on a tray. His forehead was draped with what he would guess had been cold cloths, but now they were warm and sweaty.

,,You’re up!’’ a high pitched voice greeted him, the harpy woman surprising him when she stepped into the room. She looked _just_ like a younger version of her sister; the same yellow eyes and golden feathers, but her eyes weren’t as harsh or narrow. They were kind and full of awe and wonder, and he perfectly understood, just by looking at her toothed smile, why Aroris wanted him to protect her.

,,Oh,’’ he chuckled nervously, as she began to remove his sweat-drenched cloth. ,,Thank you, miss. You’ve taken care of me, I assume?’’ he asked gently and she nodded, as he poured him a cup of tea.

,, _Yes_ , three days straight,’’ she smiled, surprising him a tad. Had he been asleep for that long? That would explain the pain all around his body and his growling stomach. ,,My name is-.’’

,,Mellis, right?’’ he interrupted, making her stop in mid motion.

,,You’re a _seer_ , aren’t you?!’’ she asked excited, but he just shook his head, chuckling lightly again.

,,No, no, miss. I met your sister, Aroris, right? That’s why I’m here,’’ he smiled, her eyes widened again, before they grew sad. ,,Oh… I’m… I’m sorry, I didn’t think…’’ he tried, but she just sighed.

,,No, don’t _apologize_ , I just miss her. I’ve never been away from her, since I was an egg,’’ she explained, sitting down on the bed. Her winged arms got sprawled out onto the bed, almost making it look like a little nest he sat in. ,,You met her, you say?’’ she smiled, just as happily as before.

,,Yes. She told me about a place, where I _hopefully_ could get some work,’’ he said, suddenly realizing his situation. ,, _Oh no_ , I messed that up, didn’t I? What will the Madam say when I arrived sick and almost passing out on her doorstep?’’ he asked worriedly, feeling the blood drain from his face.

,,Oh don’t worry about that, Mr. Oatoak,’’ an unfamiliar voice sounded from the slightly open door. He hadn’t seen the woman standing there, eyeing them both with blind, white eyes. Her whole body was white, slightly see-through, and although her face was young, her whole person looked like it melted onto itself. ,,The Madam is rather generous with things like this.’’

,,Ava found you in the rain,’’ Mellis said, smiling to the woman, he assumed was Ava. ,,Ava is a _seer_ ,’’ she whispered excitedly.

,, _Was_ a seer, Mellis,’’ she said sternly, but she smiled regardless. ,,Do you feel better, Mr.?’’ she asked.

,,Yes,’’ he smiled. He wondered how she knew his name. He couldn’t remember if he had introduced himself to anyone when he arrived. He didn’t even remember ever seeing Ava, in the first place, which was bizarre, as he _did_ remember the Madam herself. ,,Thank you for saving me, miss,’’ he said.

,,No reason to thank me,’’ she said calmly. He tried to get up again, but his body betrayed him, and he laid down in defeat, Mellis’ winged warm gently cooing him back to bed. ,,I’ll go get the Madam. I’m sure she’ll be interested in hearing our _guest_ is well and awake,’’ she said, heading out the door before Seymore could get to say more.

Ava went on her way, and he felt the dread creep up on him again. He vaguely remembered talking with the Madam, although he didn’t remember much. But her mere _presence_ , he remembered. How tall and elegant she was, as if she owned the whole wide world and everything around her bored her. She was nothing like he had imagined, nothing weird or magical were about her, besides the simple fact that he _knew_ she was a sorceress.

He hadn’t expected her to be a human. He hadn’t asked Aroris what kind of species she was, but humans weren’t common in the West, and as far as he knew, not that common with magic abilities, either. But what did he know about magic, anyway?

,,Don’t be nervous,’’ Mellis said. ,,The Madam looks really strict, but she’s very kind. She takes in all sorts of outcasts, when they need a helping hand,’’ she smiled. He didn’t like being called an outcast. Not even among other people, seemingly in the same situation as he.

,,… I’m not that great around magic,’’ he said quietly. ,,I think I might have offended her, that I didn’t want to be healed,’’ he croaked, feeling small again.

,,You didn’t, Mr. Oatoak, don’t worry about that.’’ She stood tall and graceful in front of the room, looking at the harpy and troll chatting. He felt nervous just by the intensity of her big, brown eyes. A special kind of brown, that seemed fiery at the same time. ,,I didn’t know trolls don’t like magic. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have insisted on it, like that,’’ she said apologetic, walking further into the room.

,,No, no, it’s me who apologize, Ma’am! I’m sorry for being troublesome!’’ he said, trying to stand up again, but Mellis just pushed him back into the bed again, even fairly easily. While he didn’t feel feverish anymore, he could clearly feel he hadn’t had anything to eat for a while, and his body was thankful that the harpy didn’t let him stand.

,,Stay,’’ Mellis said sternly, standing up to tidy up a couple of things. ,,I’ll get you some soup, okay, Mr. Troll?’’ He nodded thankfully as the harpy left, greeting the Madam on her way out.

,,Thank you, dear,’’ the Madam said, closing the door behind her and eyeing the troll quietly, as the room settled with her presence. ,,I see you’re doing better,’’ she said.

A smile, that didn’t reach her eyes, crept onto her face. It was clear she wanted to be kind to him, but he still felt all the uncertainty with the situation when he looked at her. He hadn’t thought it would matter _this_ much if she was a sorceress, because the Center Isles were full of magic and creatures who possessed so. _Ruvaen_ had had magic…

The thought alone made him shiver. He hadn’t liked Ruvaen’s magic, either. And the woman before him should be an _excellent_ sorceress, according to Aroris, with powers he couldn’t even imagine. Even if he barely knew the harpy from the inn, the way she had spoken about the Madam had felt truthful and he could _feel_ her radiating with an aura, he couldn’t quite explain.

,,Yes, thank you for your hospitality, Ma’am,’’ he said, folding his hands nervously.

,,Mr. Oatoak, I’m used to helping people from all over Aenamo, when they need some space. As you probably found out, Mokar is pretty baren, and none come here without my intent. I assume you met Aroris Tena on your way to here?’’ she said calmly, surprising him slightly. He nodded, wondering if this would better or worsen his chances to stay? ,,Good girl, she was. She and her sister has been working on the castle for many years. A shame with the baby,’’ she mumbled, looking outside the window. It didn’t provide much light, as the weather still seemed as dim and grey as when he had arrived to Mokar that night.

,,… Why aren’t babies allowed at the castle?’’ he asked quietly.

,,… Babies don’t belong on Mokar. That’s all you have to know,’’ she said, not looking at him. ,,Needles to say, if I ever find out who _made_ the baby Aroris is with, he’ll be kicked out as well.’’ It startled Seymore, when her eyes pierced back to him, as it dawned on him _why_ she looked so strict; he was a troll. Even if the Madam didn’t know much about trolls, _clearly_ , she knew enough to assume _that_ could be a problem with him.

,,Don’t worry, Ma’am,’’ he croaked, trying to keep his blush under control. ,,I’ll not be a problem for the young woman here.’’ She was hard to read, but it seemed to interest her. There was the slightest twinkle in her eye, as if she saw right through him. Did he really act so _unusual_ that people just _knew_ by the way he spoke? He didn’t like to think he was this easy to read, and he didn’t like to think that people saw him as _gay_ , but on the other hand, maybe that could save him trouble in the long run?

,,Is that so?’’ she said, her voice amused. ,,Very well. You said you were looking for a job, is that correct?’’ she asked instead, saving him from the approaching conversation.

,,Yes, that’s right,’’ he sighed with relief. ,,I can cook, but I’m also fairly used to fix things around the house. Ahm, castle, in this case. Cleaning, tending to the garden… I’m not picky with the job, as long as I have a place to stay,’’ he said truthfully.

,,That’s a very humble request, Mr.,’’ she said.

,,Seymore is fine, Ma’am,’’ he said, trying to sit again, but just like before, his back hurt unbearably.

,,Then _please_ stay in bed, _Seymore_ ,’’ she said, sternly, but not unfriendly. ,,I have to admit, I tried to heal you after you passed out. I got rid of your fever, but it seems like I was too late to heal you completely. That’s probably why your body is still hurting,’’ she apologized.

,,That probably makes sense…’’ he mumbled, not really comfortable with the thought of _unconscious healing_ , but at the same time, he didn’t want to put himself in a bad light. He _was_ very grateful that the Madam had taken care of him, even if she had no reason to do so. ,,But I… I want to be useful, if I have work here…’’ he said quietly, timidly trying to catch her gaze.

,,You will be. Don’t worry, rest for a while. Mellis will take care of you, and when you’re feeling better, we’ll work out what position you’re best suited for,’’ she said.

,,Thank you,’’ he smiled. Mellis came into the room again a minute after, carrying much more than just soup on her tray. Fruits and bread, and some small, round, hard things, he didn’t recognize.

,,To help you recover,’’ she smiled, putting them into his mouth without further hesitations. ,,No, they’re not _magic_ , Mr. Troll. They’ll _help_ you,’’ she said firmly, making him swallow the small things. They tasted grim, but he didn’t doubt they were healthy, just by the taste.

,,Mellis, my dear. Make sure _Seymore_ gets back on track quickly. Am knows we could need the help around here. If the spring is this wet, the summer will be _unbearable_ ,’’ she said, continuing to look outside the window.

,,Aye, Ma’am,’’ she smiled, feeding Seymore more of the black, hard pills, making sure he didn’t spit them out when she looked away. ,,Seymore, is it? Is it okay I call you that, or do you prefer Mr. Troll?’’ she said playfully, finally handing him the glass of water so he could wash away the grim taste.

,,Don’t call me _Mr. Troll_ , at least,’’ he chuckled, almost choking on the water. The Madam left a minute after, not even glancing their way again. It didn’t seem to bother Mellis, that already was about to hand him his soup, but there was something about this Willa Greenlight that he couldn’t quite figure out. ,,… She’s scary, isn’t she?’’ he whispered daringly.

,,Who? The Madam? Oh no, she’s very kind,’’ Mellis said surprised. He ate in silence for a bit, wondering if he had insulted the harpy by his side, when the yellow eyes finally found his again. ,,… Well… She is a _little_ mysterious and private. But life is not _bad_ here, at all. She rarely cares about what we do, as long as the castle is moderately clean and she has food on her table,’’ she shrugged. ,,She always studies.’’

,,… What does she study?’’ he asked confused. Mellis giggled, leaving the bed to tidy up the room a bit, while he ate.

,, _Magic_ , of course. But don’t worry, it’s very rare I’ve seen her use any kind of magic. Besides healing, I guess,’’ she shrugged. That didn’t seem to make sense to him. _Why_ would you study magic, if not to use it? And what kind of magic did _humans_ have? ,,You said you met my sister? How is she?’’ the harpy finally asked, after he had been lost in thoughts for a while.

,,She asked me to say hi,’’ he smiled, eating his soup as neatly as he could. He feared spilling any onto the bed, but he was also too hungry to really worry about that. Still, he didn’t want to disgust the very kind harpy in the room.

,,I miss her,’’ she muttered, taking a pear from his tray. She looked young, far younger than she probably was. He guessed it was a harpy thing.

,,… Can I ask what happened? She didn’t tell me much about her… situation,’’ he said carefully.

,,She got pregnant, and the Madam don’t tolerate that. She’ll kick anybody of the whole _island_ if she finds out,’’ she grimaced. ,,I _begged_ her to get an abortion, because what kind of weird hybrid would it even be? None of the males here are egg-laying species, _anyway_ , I didn’t even know that was _possible!_ ’’ she said, her melodic voice upset and shrill. Her feathers ruffled up, making him smile at the sight.

,,I’m sorry, miss. I’m sure she’ll be alright,’’ he said kindly. She nodded, but didn’t seem any calmer by this.

,,… She asked me to go with her, but I can’t. There’s barely enough staff at the castle as it is, and they keep changing all the time. I can’t let the Madam be all alone, after all she’s done for us,’’ she said quietly.

This didn’t make sense to him. Aroris had said she had left Mellis behind, because she couldn’t provide for her. But the younger harpy’s story was completely different. He didn’t really know either, but he could hardly believe that this friendly, caring creature would play him for a fool like that. Much likelier was it that Aroris hid something from him, that would make him want to flee the castle. The thought sent a cold shiver down his spine…

What kind of secrets could the Greenlight castle hold, anyway?

He liked Mellis. He liked to be around her and help her around the castle, but mostly, it just felt comforting with her by his side. She knew what to do and how to do things, and she was always talking. _A lot_. It was easy to just go about his day, clean the rooms they were in, while she chatted away about everyday things or the latest gossip.

He wasn’t as swooned with her as he had been with Ruvaen. She didn’t ask him as many questions, and she wasn’t as charismatic or knowledgeable as the pixie had been, but she was sweet and kind, and she didn’t seem to mind hanging out with him. Before, she had mostly hung around Aroris, therefore not as close with the other woman working there. And unlike most of the young men around, Seymore wasn’t interested in crude jokes or making perverted attempts, with seemed to make him popular with the women, but not as much with the men.

He hadn’t been on the Greenlight castle for more than a couple of months, and the staff had already changed drastically. A lot of women came and went, and he often wondered if it was for the same reasons as Aroris. Not as many men went to work at the castle, and mostly it was just an orc, named Bork, and a couple of goblins, Gronn and Eagog. They worked outdoors most of the time, especially now it was summer, so he luckily rarely ran into them.

Bork didn’t seem as displeased with Seymore because of his troll heritage, as the fact that he was this close with Mellis. Mellis rarely talked nicely about the orc, so he wondered if it was just jealousy? Seymore didn’t like when the other men were around, as he felt they _very_ much saw right through him, in ways he didn’t appreciate.

Life wasn’t as interesting here, as it had been in the Center Isles, but on the other hand, it wasn’t as hard, either. He didn’t feel as out of place as he had done with Ruvaen’s entertainers, or in his home village, for that matter, but he didn’t plan to stay here for the rest of his life. He just wanted to heal a little, from his broken heart.

Truth be told, if he hadn’t been as heartbroken, he might have tried to flirt with Mellis. And while he wasn’t sure, he sometimes felt like _she_ tried to flirt with _him_. Maybe to test the other men’s theories about his sexuality, or maybe just because he didn’t try anything himself. But he wasn’t interested, and he didn’t want to ruin his friendship with the harpy, either.

After he had healed up from his fever, he had moved to a much smaller room, placed around the other servants of the castle. Although he had healed properly, his back somehow still was in pain, making him slouch, which his new room didn’t exactly help with. He didn’t feel as much privacy or luxury here, but the pay was actually rather good, compared to how his life as an actor had been. At night, he would hear the other staff talk, laugh and party together, but he never really felt like joining them. Sometimes, he would hear what he _assumed_ were the quietest moans and groans he had ever heard, but he tried not to read too far into that…

He didn’t miss _that_ as much as he had feared he would. As if his body had just _shut down_ , unable to feel any attraction at all. He wondered if it would always be like this? If he would always think of Ruvaen as his _one true love?_ If he would ever _want_ another lover again?

At night, he still had dreams about fair skin, warm hands and ice-blue eyes, that silently promised everything would be okay again. They _lied_ , he thought, when he awoke on his mattress at the same castle, he fell asleep in. The days made him numb and distracted, and that was everything he wanted, he thought, as he listened to yet another of Mellis’ stories, about her and Luna going off the island, to visit towns on nearby isles in the West.

Seymore mostly stayed home when the others went out. This night wasn’t much different, as he just sat reading, while the castle felt cold and quiet. He knew the Madam worked on her endless studies somewhere within the castle, but she wouldn’t bother him at this time of night. It startled him greatly when he heard a knock on his door, but he didn’t get any time to react before it got flung open and Mellis threw herself into his room.

,,I’m so sorry,’’ she sniffled when she saw how startled he had gotten. ,,I’m just… Seymore, it’s _bad_ , it’s really, really _bad_ ,’’ she sobbed, tears streaming down her cheeks. Her feathers were ruffled, as was her hair, and everything about her set him off strangely, in ways he couldn’t explain.

,,What’s the matter?’’ he croaked, trying to steady his heart. She sat down in front of the closed door, sobbing loudly without being able to form any recognizable words. He didn’t try to pry her for information, he just put his book away, gently patting her arm. ,,Now, now, I’m _sure_ we can figure it out, but I need to know what happened,’’ he tried gently. She looked up at him, her yellow eyes big and horrified.

,, _Promise_ that you won’t throw me out?’’ she begged, and he nodded surprised. Then it finally dawned on him, why she set him off in this strange way; the smell betrayed her. ,,… I… I was with Bork, and he… We… ahm…’’ she tried, looking down, _clearly_ embarrassed.

,,… Did he rape you?’’ he asked bluntly, his voice suddenly stern and possessive. Mellis shook her head, looking surprised up at him.

,,No, no, it’s not that, I promise,’’ she said. She still seemed flustered and embarrassed, but if he hadn’t hurt her, Seymore didn’t understand why. He didn’t understand why Mellis would be in his room, in the first place, if that wasn’t the case. ,,… He came inside me…’’ she finally said, still sobbing slightly.

,, _Oh_.’’ That made sense. He didn’t count on Mellis to be on any contraception herself, and while the pullout method could never be safe, it was clear that Mellis didn’t want to end up like her sister.

If Mellis left the castle, he would be more alone. Besides that, he didn’t want her to go out into the world with the same uncertain fate as her sister. Maybe even from the same man? Of course, it didn’t _mean_ that she would get pregnant, but he understood her worries. He wanted to fix it, but he could only think of one thing, making his half-asleep instincts shudder and whine again.

,,Come, sit on my face,’’ he sighed, laying down on his mattress. Mellis didn’t move, but she stopped crying for a moment.

,,What?’’ she stammered. ,,Seymore, this is _serious!_ ’’ she whined.

,,I’m serious too!’’ he argued, lifting himself on his elbows and sending her a stern look. She looked scared, and he regretted his harsh tone in an instant. ,,Look, I don’t want to make it worse. I’ll just try to get it _out_ ,’’ he said, a little gentler this time. He knew it probably wouldn’t work like that, but it was the only thing he could think of.

She came a little closer, looking unsure down at him, as if she wondered if he was playing tricks on her or not. He laid down again, grabbing around her legs and pulling her on top of his face, making her shriek surprised in the process. She whined when he pulled her panties aside and let his tongue run over her folds, dripping with cum and her own juices.

,,Seymore!’’ she scolded when she felt his tongue, but he just firmly held her in place. He looked up at her face, their eyes briefly meeting, his tongue still working further and further into her. ,,I-it’s dirty…’’ she whined, covering her eyes with her hands.

If he hadn’t been so numb, he might have enjoyed this a little more, but his only thought was to get the cum out and get her to relax. He didn’t _hate it_ , by any means, but he didn’t feel as excited about her taste or smell as he normally would. Maybe because it was mixed with Bork’s, but he doubted that was the case.

He rather quickly cleaned her up, until he couldn’t taste the orc’s cum anymore, but he didn’t stop immediately. He could feel her light body press against his face, fucking herself on his tongue, just the slightest. If she even noticed herself, he didn’t know, as her hands still covered her face, but her body did undoubtedly enjoy the touch.

Slowly, he let his tongue creep out from her wet hole and up to her clit instead. She whimpered and panted, but he barely held her still anymore, and she just continued to grind against his face. If anything, he could still eat her out, hopefully get her to calm down and make the situation a little less awkward for her. As long as she didn’t move away, he took it as a sign for him to continue.

It didn’t have _no_ effect on his body. He could _feel_ how his skin tingled, as she finally clenched around his face, her whimpers a little higher and her motions more erratic. But he didn’t feel the need for her or closeness, as he had done in the past. If anything, he felt tired and a little ashamed by himself, when she slowly, with heavy breaths, climbed down from his face.

,,W-why did you do that?’’ she finally asked, looking slightly startled at him. He had picked up his book again, and pretended he hadn’t just cleaned her out of cum or that her juices still painted his face.

,,… It was the easiest way,’’ he shrugged, hoping she would leave him alone, but she kept looking at him with great confusion.

,,But… don’t you find it… yucky? I mean… _From another man_ …’’ she whispered confused, scooting a little closer to him, but he moved out of her reach, making her utterly baffled at this point. ,,I don’t _get it_ , Seymore. You act… _so weird!_ ’’ she said, crossing her arms.

,,I know,’’ he said, still looking at his book, but he didn’t read the words. He felt her stare as if it burnt him.

,,… Bork always says that he thinks… That he thinks you like _men_ … But it didn’t _feel_ like that, not at _all_ …’’ she said, a little quieter. ,,You don’t want me to… help you? I mean, I can, I don’t mind,’’ she tried, clearly staring at his bulge.

,,No,’’ he just said. She tried to protest, but he just gently cut her off. ,,Mellis, it’s fine. I don’t want you to get kicked out of the castle. But I don’t… need your help… And I really don’t hope I’ve made things… _too_ weird…’’ he added, finally looking back at her.

,,… I don’t _understand_ that…’’ she mumbled.

,,Well, maybe… that’s for the best…’’ he said, turning away from her again. She huffed a couple of times, but didn’t try to touch him again. Finally, she stood up, dusted of her dress and left his room, much quieter than when she came in.

He tried to ignore his body, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to either read or sleep like this. At last, he threw the book away, aggressively pulling his pants down and sat in front of the closed door, to make sure he wouldn’t get any other uninvited visitors. He didn’t want to tease himself, he wanted it _over with_ and out of his head as soon as possible, as he began to touch himself with firm hands.

The taste still lingered on his lips. Orcs had a very strong taste, he concluded. Or maybe it was just Borks own taste? Mellis had tasted sweet, and his troll mind _scolded_ him for not taking her up on her offer. But in his mind, the pictures flashing through his head wasn’t of her spread legs or her mouth on his cock. It was the same, haunting eyes he still loved so dearly. Eyes, he would never get to see again. He didn’t want anyone else, his heart said, pounding violently as he came all over his hand, for what felt like the first time in an eternity.

At least he tasted better than Bork, he thought, as he mindlessly licked his fingers clean.

At first, it seemed like Mellis wouldn’t mention their little incident at all again. She treated him like she had always done, and his worries were nearly faded away, when she one night came back to his room, her feathers ruffled up and her cheeks heated. She didn’t need to say anything this time, and he simply laid down, taking care of her as he had done last time.

The first couple of times, she again tried to help him out afterwards, but as he kept declining her offer, she stopped asking as often. He didn’t mind this, he told himself, and as long as Mellis didn’t get pregnant, he had someone who treated him nicely, for a change. So-what if he had to get her off once in a while? He couldn’t deny that he somehow _liked_ that.

This reoccurred far more often than he had hoped it to do. Sometimes, he wondered if she _encouraged_ Bork to come in her, just for himself to make her come. It didn’t seem like the orc left her that satisfied, if she so easily came when he licked her clean.

But it was a problem for him, when it became very obvious that Mellis had told the other women about it. He had been surprised when Luna, the naga, had showed up to his room late at night, but he had quickly realized _why_ she was there. He was less surprised when other women came and went by his room, and with time, he almost expected not to be alone at night.

Still, he didn’t want them to touch him, as would it hurt him if they did so. The only fantasy he could get off to was the memory of the beautiful creature he once called his lover, but Ivy’s sad gaze would replace it moments after he came. He felt dirty for longing after the pixie, even months after, when he himself had been the one to flee, without ever even writing to him, to at least let him know he was okay.

 _Still_ , he didn’t mind it as much as he should. While the men of the castle clearly thought he was gay, the woman certainly didn’t mind either way. It didn’t matter to them if he was attracted to them or not when he helped them so carefully. And while Mellis still sometimes would try to get a little closer to him, clearly trying to decipher what kind of man he _really_ was, the other women didn’t ask many questions.

He wasn’t actually sure it helped them at all, besides getting them to orgasm. While Mellis and Luna didn’t get pregnant, many other women still left the castle just as suddenly as Aroris seemed to have. He sometimes thought about how Mellis had said she didn’t believe it could be possible for a harpy to get pregnant with either of the men at the castle, but that had _clearly_ been the case…

Right? Both harpies and nagas laid eggs, while orcs and goblins carried their children. The women who had left could have done it for multiple reasons, but they were all of species who carried their children until birth. He couldn’t help but feel he somehow took advantages of a situation, that maybe didn’t help at all, but that he had wanted no part in to begin with.

It rarely surprised him anymore when he heard a knock on his door at night, but this time, he felt just as panicked as when Mellis had visited him for the first time. He was used to Luna coming quite often too, her preferred partner seemingly not really a fan of pulling out, and all the girls Bork was with as well. Often, he wondered if Mellis knew how many he was with? But he wasn’t prepared for Ava to step inside, her steps feather light and almost silent, as she closed the creaking door behind her.

She hadn’t been in his room before, and he couldn’t _imagine_ that she would risk her position with something like this. Although she looked young, the seer was probably as old as the Madam herself, if not older. Ava was polite and quiet, but she had this mysterious aura around her he didn’t feel comfortable with. Even as she stepped into his room, her blind eyes didn’t look anywhere in particular, but despite her gentle smile, her gaze felt as if she searched for something.

,,… Good evening?’’ he said slowly, feeling nervous as her neck made a twist so she was faced against him. Of all the women at the castle, he rarely talked with Ava, as she always seemed lost in her own, little world. What she wanted with him, was a mystery. ,,Can I… help you, miss?’’ he asked.

,,No, but maybe I can help you,’’ she said, her voice light an trance like. It surprised him, as her voice normally wasn’t like this. As if she actually _was_ seeing things, that wasn’t there. But Mellis had told him that Ava couldn’t see things, anymore, either in this world or the other. ,,I’ve been listening to young women’s tales, and they all lead me to here,’’ she said, sitting down on her knees in front of him. Her eyes really _did_ look like she was trying to focus on something, but all he could think of was her words.

,,I _promise_ , it’s not what it looks like!’’ he said hastily, as he was very well aware how it would sound; women coming to him at night, then leaving the castle because of pregnancy. But Ava wasn’t in a listening mood, she only held up her hand, her gaze staring blindly into the wall.

,,There’s a baby at the castle,’’ she whispered hastily. It surprised him, but he didn’t get a chance to ask who’s it was, before she continued: ,,It’s no good. No one is supposed to be born on Mokar, the isle of barren land and dead trees. It won’t be good. Why did she bring a child to Mokar?’’ she asked, her eyes suddenly growing with fear.

,,Who, miss? Please, tell me what’s going on,’’ he tried, gently reaching out for her arm, but her skin was burning. He quickly retreated his hand, but it didn’t look like she had even felt his touch.

,,Mokar was the last place I saw, before I lost my eyes,’’ she told him instead. ,,It has never been green. Something is buried here, something that sucks the life out of the ground… and the people…’’ she said, her voice still quivering.

,,… Why are you telling me this?’’ he asked slowly. ,,Why not tell the Madam if there’s a child at the castle? What can I-,’’ he tried, but she cut him off again.

,,You’ll stay. You’ll stay right here, you already decided that. But _why_ would you stay, Seymore?’’ she asked, so deeply confused that it startled him. ,,You’re in _here_ , with every woman at your fingertips, and yet, you decide to stay _here_ , and I can’t see _why_ that is?’’ she said, this time looking straight at him, as if she really _did_ see him.

He tried to speak, but nothing came out. What could he say? Why was everyone so _damned_ _obsessed_ with if he was gay or not?

… Why couldn’t he just tell them that he wasn’t? Because he still felt devoted to Ruvaen, _a man_ , the only man he had loved? The only person he had loved?

,,If there’s a baby at the castle, you should tell the _Madam_ , not me. I have nothing to do with that baby, I promise you that,’’ he said, almost sternly, as her white, blind eyes looked in the direction of his voice. Then she smiled, almost happily, as she took his hands. Her skin didn’t burn anymore.

,,Changes aren’t always bad. I see _so much hurt_. But you can _choose_ goodness, just as others will choose against it,’’ she said truly, standing up and almost floating in the air. ,,I’ll tell the Madam what I saw. I’m _sure_ she’ll be _so proud_ that I _finally_ got my eyes back!’’ she said happily, walking out the door, not even closing it after her.

He sat in his room for a while, too baffled and confused to even get up and close the door. In the meantime, Mellis came by, peaking in with just as a wondering gaze as himself.

,,… Did Ava come by? She seemed _out of it_ , didn’t she?’’ she asked, not daring to go into his room. Seymore nodded, finally sighing with some sort of relief of not being the _only_ one to see that. For a moment, he had feared _he_ had been the one hallucinating.

,,Yerh, she kept blabbering about… _all sorts of weird things_ ,’’ he mumbled, getting up to stand in front of the small harpy. ,,Did she say anything to you?’’ he asked curiously, but Mellis shook her head.

,,No. Not in a language I could understand. It sounded like she just… _growled_ a lot…’’ she said confused. Seymore’s browbones furrowed as she spoke. Ava didn’t speak troll. It had sounded _nothing_ like troll to him, at least. He would have _noticed_ that, wouldn’t he?

,,That’s… weird…’’ he said slowly. He wondered why Ava had come to _him_. She had spoken his name, but he wasn’t sure if she really spoke _to him_. What did she mean with him staying at the castle? Was it a warning for what was to come? And why had she started off with asking about the women coming to his room? ,,… Can you do me a favor, Mellis?’’ he asked, gaining her attention again.

,,Sure?’’ she said, still startled by the whole situation with Ava, it seemed.

,,… I don’t want to get in trouble with the Madam. I… I need to stop this _thing_ , with you… coming to my room, after…’’ he tried, feelings his cheeks flush. Mellis’ feathers ruffled up, and she seemed just as uncomfortable as he felt. ,,If you could… tell the other women the same thing… I would be very grateful…’’ he tried, looking down.

,,Sure,’’ she said, her voice quivering. ,,I mean, uhm… Is _that_ what Ava came for? To tell you to… stop… uhm…’’ she tried, but looked down as well.

,,I don’t know,’’ he admitted. ,,I think so. Besides… I don’t think it’s even working…’’ he admitted.

,, _Seymore_ ,’’ she scolded playfully, chuckling nervously. ,,You can’t really believe that that’s the _only_ thing we came for, right? I mean… _Sure_ , I was _really_ scared that first time, but…’’ she tried, covering her face with her hands. The long, sharp nails slightly dug into her hair. ,,But of course it’s okay if you don’t want to. And I’ll tell the others, don’t worry, I’m just… I’m sorry, if you felt…’’ she tried, her face still covered.

,,No, no, it’s alright,’’ he assured her. ,,I just… I don’t want anyone to get in trouble, and I don’t want to get kicked out.’’ Huh. He hadn’t been aware that he _actually_ didn’t want to go. Now the summer was here, it would probably be easier for him to get a job elsewhere, even in the West, but… he didn’t want that, anymore. ,,Don’t be mad at Ava. She’s just doing her job,’’ he added, when Mellis was on her way again.

,,I’m not. And I understand,’’ she smiled sadly. ,,… You never _did_ tell me if you… If you even _liked_ to do it…’’ she said, biting her lip. He pressed his thin lips together, looking guilty to the side. He didn’t want to have this conversation.

,,… I didn’t hate it,’’ he settled on. What _could_ he say? If he just said he liked it, she would wonder why he didn’t want to take it further. And if he told about an ex, even ambiguously… Then, what kind of question would be on her mind?

,,… Then why didn’t you want to… ahm, have sex? I mean… I could _never_ get Bork to get me off _like that_ , but even if I could… I wouldn’t need to _ask_ if he wanted to… have sex,’’ she tried. Seymore couldn’t imagine that Mellis herself would see him as disgusting if he told her about his sexuality, but he feared she would have more questions, and he wasn’t in the mood to tell his story. Not now, not _ever_. He didn’t want her to spread rumors around either, and he couldn’t imagine that she wouldn’t, at least, tell Luna, and he didn’t count on her to keep the information to herself.

,,It’s not important,’’ he tried, but she didn’t look satisfied with his answer. ,,I promise, it’s not you. Or, anyone else, for that matter. It’s just me.’’

,,You know, you could _really_ steal some hearts if you weren’t that insecure,’’ she said, smiling shyly at him. ,,… From whichever folks you would like…’’ she said, as neutral as possible.

,,I don’t want to steal hearts. I just want to read,’’ he said, watching as Mellis nodded and walked away. He closed the door and felt the whole world land on his shoulders again. But mostly, he felt confused about what Ava was all about. Maybe he could ask her, when he didn’t feel this fidgety?

But he never got to ask her. The next morning, she was gone.

Ava’s disappearance wasn’t the last strange thing happening in the Greenlight castle. While his life had been cozy, a little mundane at times, with the occasionally visits to his room breaking that up a bit, the whole castle now had a strange vibe to it. No one asked about Ava. He found that strange, but when he thought about it, he had never heard anyone ever mention the people who had left the castle, besides when Mellis had talked about her sister.

The staff shrunk. Gronn and Eagon went first. He wasn’t sure if the Madam had forced them to go, or if they did so willingly, and no one asked. Sometimes the Madam would just announce in the morning, that ‘so and so had departed with the castle’. There was no malice in her voice. If anything, she seemed sad.

Seymore hadn’t actually spoken much with the Madam. Now that most of the staff was gone, he worked in the kitchen full time. He rarely talked with any other than Mellis, that despite a little awkwardness, still tended to hang around him when she had free time. She was the one who brought the Madam her meals, and as the months had passed, the Madam were almost always out on trips around Aenamo, or in her own quarters.

The night the Madam arrived from her latest trip was especially rainy. It had been a pretty dry summer so far, far dryer than what Seymore had been used to on the Center Isles, but now the rain poured down, making the whole island muddy and almost impossible to navigate, much like when he had arrived to Mokar himself. He had been in the kitchen when she came in, her normal posture seemingly broken, as she sat down at the kitchen island in the middle of the room.

She didn’t say anything at first, and he wasn’t quite sure what to do. He was used to others taking care of stuff when she came home, and wasn’t sure what she expected him to do in the situation. For a while, it seemed like she didn’t even notice he was there.

,,Uhm, Ma’am? Can I… get you anything?’’ he asked quietly, and her eyes darted up at him again. It almost looked like she wasn’t even sure who he _was_.

,,Ah, yes… A cup of tea would be nice, dear,’’ she said, stretching her back again as she had been slumping forward. ,,Excuse my absentmindedness, it was quite a long travel,’’ she said, with the smallest smile she could muster.

,,That’s alright, Ma’am. Just a moment,’’ he said, pouring the hot water over the leaves, handing her the cup as he searched for sugar and milk. Clearly, she wasn’t used to being served like this, but she didn’t seem to mind. ,,Did everything go as planned? With your travel, I mean?’’ he tried as he continued peeling potatoes for later. She looked at him, before she _actually_ smiled at him, and he almost thought she was laughing at him.

,,… No,’’ she admitted. He wondered if anyone ever asked her those kinds of questions? ,,But it will be, as the stars has foretold. Don’t you worry,’’ she said. He was almost about to ask what she meant, when she continued speaking: ,,For how long have you been working here?’’

,,Almost half a year,’’ he smiled. ,,I like being here.’’ It wasn’t a lie. He _did_ like that he had a lot of time for himself, to reflect on how the past years had come to an end. He had _needed_ this, in ways he hadn’t even realized.

Sure, he sometimes missed the big cities and parties. But he didn’t miss always having people around him. He was quite content with Mellis’ and his friendship, and was thankful she didn’t ask more about either his sexuality or why he didn’t want to sleep with her.

It was easy to dwell on the past. But when the days started early, and the job kept him occupied, he rarely had time to dwell _too_ much into it, even at night.

,,Really?’’ she said, almost a little amused as she drank her tea. She looked at him as he worked, with those big, brown eyes, as if she searched for answers he withheld. ,,Many people have come and gone within these castle walls. But I don’t think trolls have ever been here,’’ she said quietly.

,,… Well, if I have to guess, I would say most trolls wouldn’t come to a castle, housed by a sorceress,’’ he said daringly.

,,You’re not like most trolls,’’ she noted, and he shook his head. ,,You’re not like most of the men that have worked on the castle, either,’’ she said, looking down as she drank. He caught something in her voice, but he wasn’t quite sure what she meant.

He was concerned that she kept sitting at the table. Most likely, she was just tired, but he wasn’t sure what she thought about, when she looked at him. He wondered if sorcerers could read minds? Or if she wondered, just like everybody else seemed to do, why a gay man would hide in the West, of all places?

,,You never told me why you came here,’’ she finally said, almost accusingly. He stopped peeling potatoes, looking back at those wondering eyes.

,,I didn’t believe that was necessary,’’ he said quietly. ,,I’m a very private person,’’ he explained, smiling slightly.

,,Really? I find that people often have very _interesting_ stories, when they decide that _here_ is where they belong,’’ she said, smirking slightly.

,,… I am an outcast from my village,’’ he told her, continuing his mundane task as he did so. If he just told her _slightly less_ than everything, maybe she would be satisfied with that and leave. ,,I lived in the Center Isles for some years. I tried to become an actor, but… some things aren’t meant for trolls…’’ he said, the bitterness stinging his words.

,,I see,’’ she said, rather gently. Her normal formalness wasn’t as apparent right now, and it didn’t feel as threatening to tell her more as he had thought. She seemed to accept that he didn’t want to further the topic, but now he got bold. Something had plagued his mind, ever since Ava visited his room.

,,… The seer, Ava… What happened to her, Ma’am?’’ he asked quietly. Her eyes darted back to him, and she suddenly seemed nervous.

,,… Ava was very sick, I’m afraid…’’ she said slowly. Although she had babbled about things he couldn’t comprehend, she hadn’t _seemed_ sick that night. It made him wary again, but despite everything, Willa didn’t give him any vibes that she would downright _off_ anyone.

,,She talked about a baby, the last night she was here…’’ he told her. This seemed like new information for her.

,,A baby?’’ she said. ,,There’s no babies on Mokar,’’ she said, her voice suddenly cold.

,,… She said there were a baby at the castle,’’ he told her. ,,I asked her to see you, with that information. She never told me _where_ the baby was,’’ he said.

,,That’s… Thank you for telling me, Seymore,’’ she said, standing up again. ,,I’m very _grateful_ for that information,’’ she said, smiling. She seemed genuine, and he couldn’t help but to feel proud.

,,Of course, Ma’am. I’m happy to help,’’ he smiled. She was finally on her way, but stopped in the doorway, looking rather uncertain again. Her clothes were still wet, and he wondered if she wasn’t freezing half to death at this point.

,,One last thing,’’ she said, turning to face him again. ,,As you’ve probably already noticed, the staff is getting… _cut_. I fear whatever made Ava sick, might be contagious,’’ she said, her eyes worried. ,,Of course, I’ll make sure no one is just dropped on the street, but-,’’ she started, but the troll cut her off.

,,If possible… I would very much like to _stay_ here, Ma’am,’’ he said, feeling his heart beat nervously, as her face twisted in confusion. ,,I mean… You would still need help, right? I don’t get sick that easily, I can still take care of the castle?’’ he tried, smiling nervously.

,,… Very well. Thank you,’’ she said, before leaving the kitchen. He wasn’t sure why he so _persistently_ wanted to stay, either than he really missed the comfort at feeling _at home_ , anywhere. And while he had loved his life at the Center Isles, he never did feel truly at home. This wasn’t quite it, either, but the fewer people who was a part of the staff, the fewer he had to share the castle with, when his Madam was on her travels.

He wondered for how long Mellis would stay? How few of the maids and servants would stay? If anyone even would want to, if they heard about Ava?

Maybe they wouldn’t even care, he thought. Most of the maids and servants that had come and went knew that they were here for a short while. He hadn’t really thought about _how_ long he himself had wanted to work here, but he wasn’t ready to leave. He wasn’t ready to go out _there_ again.

 _You’ll stay. You’ll stay right here, you already decided that. But_ why _would you stay, Seymore?_ Ava’s words echoed in his ears, and now he could never give her his answer; because he was _afraid_. Afraid to get hurt again. It was so much easier to just stay _numb_.

Time passed, leaves turned in color and fell off, leaving the trees barren. His birthday came and went as well, with little to no difference from the other days it blended together with. It was almost winter when he found out what Ava had meant about a baby at the castle. No matter how many women left the castle, yet another would still leave after her. If anyone had been pregnant or hid a baby somehow, by now, they _surely_ wouldn’t be able to keep that up.

But only Mellis, an old dwarven woman and himself were left. Still, the words rang in his ears at night, while he wondered if Ava just had become _crazy_ , or if she really _was_ seeing things again? He never got to ask her how or why she lost her sight, or why that affected her ability to look into the future. Mellis didn’t know either, when he cautiously had asked her.

,,She was blind for all the time I’ve been here,’’ she said. ,,I think Ava was the only one who’ve been here longer than I. It’s really sad she got sick. I hope she feels better,’’ she said. His Madam had never told any of them _what_ kind of illness it was that Ava suffered from, but clearly something Willa couldn’t heal herself. ,,Can you bring the Madam her lunch? I need to take care of something on the third floor,’’ she said when Seymore finished plating things.

,,… Sure…’’ he said, getting a tray ready. Seymore wasn’t clumsy _normally_ , but he got so nervous that it was hard for him to keep his hands steady, when he walked with the tray. Despite that, he was still wary of his Madam, and the less he saw her, the better for him. He was very grateful that he could stay, but it wasn’t as much of a devotion to his Madam, as it was a need for a safe place to be.

He knocked on her door when he arrived, waiting a second before he heard a ‘come in’. The room was unusually dark, the curtains still closed, which wasn’t like her. To his surprise, his Madam wasn’t at her desk reading, but in her bed.

,,Thank you, Seymore,’’ she said when he placed the tray on her bedside table. She still had a book in her hands, but she looked worried. She almost always looked worried when he saw her, these days.

,,… Is everything alright, Ma’am?’’ he daringly asked.

,,I’m just feeling a tad nauseous today, that’s all. Don’t worry about it,’’ she said quietly, but he could tell that wasn’t the case. Although his hesitations about her, he didn’t like that she seemingly was in pain.

,,Are you getting sick, too?’’ he said, his voice feeling very hollow.

,,What? Oh, no, no, not at all,’’ she smiled, taking a sip of her tea. ,,Well I guess… Couldn’t hurt to tell…’’ she mumbled, looking mystified down into her tea leaves. ,,Are you still happy to work here, dear?’’ she asked instead. The question surprised him, and he nodded vaguely.

,,Very much so,’’ he said.

,,Good, _good_ … You’ve been much more useful than I would have thought so, when Ava found you out in the rain,’’ she said, still looking into the tea leaves, as if she read through them. She probably did. It was a weird kind of compliment, he thought, as he awaited her next move.

But he hadn’t expected her to _hurl_ out whatever was left of her breakfast, onto the floor. He stepped away, desperately trying to find something to clean it up with when she stopped puking.

,,You _are_ sick! Ma’am, _please_ , stay down, don’t you worry, I’ll-,’’ he tried, but with a snap of her fingers, the puddle was gone.

,,My apologies,’’ she said, breathing heavily. ,,I’m not sick, Seymore. But… I need to tell you something. Something, you’ll _have_ to swear not to say to _anybody_ else,’’ she said, reaching for his hand.

The instant he took it, he felt how hot and feverish her hand was. Just like Ava’s had been that day, he thought mindlessly. Her grip was tight, and she looked paler than she normally was.

,,… Do I need to call or write for anybody to come? I mean, if it’s this contagious…’’ he tried, but she shook her head.

,,It’s not. I’m pregnant.’’ Her voice didn’t even sound like her own, anymore. He slowly pulled his hand away, trying to comprehend what she said. She couldn’t be that far along, as it wasn’t even visible on her thin body. But this _had to be_ what Ava had seen, months ago.

,,… Are you… certain?’’ he asked.

,, _Yes_ ,’’ she said. ,,You can’t tell the others.’’

,,But won’t they find out when the… When the baby comes?’’ he asked.

,,… I’m not sure they’ll be around for that long,’’ she admitted. ,,Mellis have been here far too long already. And Hemnire will probably not stay for that long, either,’’ she said.

,,… But what about me?’’ he croaked, suddenly feeling small and childlike again. His Madam looked up at him, her gaze surprisingly soft.

,,I don’t know. What do _you_ want to do? Living on Mokar _can’t_ be your dream,’’ she said gently.

,,… It’s not,’’ he admitted. ,,But I’m not ready to leave.’’ She shook her head, as if his words amused her, but she didn’t chuckle, she didn’t even smile.

,,Troll’s don’t like magic, right? But this baby will be born with powers that it can’t even control. Do you _really_ want to stay for that show?’’ she asked, as if she begged for him to go.

,,… Yes,’’ he said firmly. ,,I’m… I don’t _assume_ the baby will be one of my tasks, _Ma’am_. But I can do about everything else. I’ll be _useful_. Whatever the reason might be, that you won’t allow babies on Mokar, I’ll not try to snoop around to find out. I just need a place to stay _safe_ ,’’ he begged her.

She looked at him for a long time, her expression hard to read, as always. If his madam had needed that much staff when he started working at the castle, he couldn’t imagine that she could take care of all that alone, not to think about the baby. Where or how she had gotten pregnant wasn’t his concern. Why babies weren’t allowed on Mokar was none of his worries, either.

,,Someone hurt you _badly_ in your past,’’ she said quietly. ,,Otherwise you wouldn’t _willingly_ want to stay here. _Especially_ not with this _demon spawn_ on the way,’’ she said tiredly. It startled him that she spoke of her own child like this, but he just thought it was because of her raging hormones. Or… he _hoped_ that was the case…

,,… I’ll be very grateful, if I’m allowed to stay here,’’ he said. She nodded, her gaze tired, but warm, for a change.

,,You’re very loyal, aren’t you? I can’t seem to figure out if you want to stay due to kindness, or just out of necessity,’’ she said, looking wondering up at him. He didn’t answer, because he wasn’t sure what the right answer would be. Her gaze drifted off him, and she looked down. ,,I guess it doesn’t matter. You’re absolutely right, I would need help with tending to the castle. Even if it was only one person. Perhaps, that would even be _better_ ,’’ she said, most likely to herself. She then looked back at him, nodding approvingly. ,,It’ll be alright, Seymore. Please don’t tell the others.’’

,,I won’t,’’ he promised, picking up the tray, leaving her food behind. ,,I’ll… see myself out, now, Ma’am. I need to wash the dishes,’’ he smiled apologetically. He needed a moment to take in, what he had just promised to do.

,,Very well,’’ she said, as she picked up her plate.

,,If you need anything, regarding… _the situation_ , then please say so, Ma’am. If I need to call a doctor, or-,’’ he began but she cut him off.

,,No doctors,’’ she said sternly, but not unkindly. ,,No one has to know about this,’’ she whispered, not for his ears, he assumed. He briefly wondered why she would hide a baby from… just about _everyone_. If she would give birth herself? Or what she would do with the remaining staff, hadn’t they left when time would come. For how long were humans pregnant for, anyway?

,,Aye, Ma’am,’’ he said, leaving her dark bedroom behind. He wandered back to the kitchen, his head spinning slightly, but he didn’t get much time to think about the whole situation, before Mellis walked into the kitchen, bright and happy as usual. He would miss her, when she had to go.

,,You were gone for a while!’’ she smiled, picking up a dishtowel as she helped him wash pots and pans.

,,I was,’’ he said gently. ,,You look to be in a good mood, though!’’ he smiled, trying to focus on her instead of his Madam’s ordeal.

,,I _am!_ ’’ she smiled. ,,Aroris has written to me! She wants to see me!’’ she said. He felt a slight jab at her words, but he still managed to smile. ,,She said, she had something important to tell me. Something she couldn’t write in a letter. But… I’m nervous,’’ she admitted, looking at the cloth in her hand.

,,About what?’’ he asked. This would be for the best, he thought to himself. If Mellis left to be with Aroris, she would be safe, he hoped.

,,… What if she wants me to stay with her?’’ she asked, looking up at him. He was quiet for a moment, before he smiled at her, gently placing a hand on her shoulder.

,,Well then… Why don’t you? You miss her, right? She’s your sister,’’ he said, removing his hand when he remembered it was wet.

,,Yes, but… The castle… _The Madam_ …’’ she mumbled.

,,The Madam will understand,’’ he smiled. ,,I’m sure of that.’’

,,But… What about you?’’ she asked, looking at him again. Her gentleness startled him, and he stopped mid motion to take in her gaze. He couldn’t help but feel, that had Ruvaen never been in his life, he really _would_ have taken a chance with Mellis.

,,What about me?’’ he chuckled. She looked at him as if she wanted to fly up to kiss him, but she just kept looking at him, _begging_ him with her eyes to do something.

,,… Will you just stay here, forever?’’ she asked instead. He shrugged and finished cleaning the dishes, looking down at the sink.

,,… No, probably not forever. But for now, I will,’’ he said gently. He felt her hand on his arm, and he looked back at her again. With a smile, he ruffled up her hair, his hands still kind of damp. ,,I think you should visit your sister, Mellis. I’m sure that’ll bring you much more joy, in the long run,’’ he said.

,,Maybe you’re right…’’ she sighed. ,,I just… I… No, never mind,’’ she sighed, continuing to dry of the plate in her hand. She was quite for a while, but he could _feel_ what was on her mind.

,,You know… I _get it_ …’’ he said quietly, taking a towel himself to help her finish up. ,,I felt that way before. I’m just not ready to feel like that again,’’ he said gently, looking down. She kept quiet for some time, but she didn’t deny what he said.

,,… Was that… with a man?’’ she asked, probably for the last time.

,,… It was,’’ he admitted. She stopped her motions, looking at him with those big, yellow eyes he had made laugh so many times. Now, she looked hurt.

,,But then, why would you-!’’ she started, but he shushed her down.

,,One can like both,’’ he tried, drying off his hands in the towel. ,,I _didn’t_ want to make a move on you, Mellis. I wanted to help you out. I didn’t _mind_ helping you out. But I stopped it, because I didn’t want to come off as if I… As if I _used_ you. You’re very sweet, and you’ll find someone who _is_ ready for that kind of relation, I promise,’’ he said, as gently as he could.

She didn’t answer him. She looked as upset as he had feared her to be. Ruvaen had often warned him about how _little_ Seymore really understood that people much less understood bisexuality. That being bi didn’t get him lots of partners, his attitude had. And while it was hard for the troll to understand, Ruvaen had had his fair share of people rejecting him on that alone.

,,Okay,’’ she finally said, looking down.

,,I’m sorry,’’ he tried, but she just gently shook her head.

,,No, don’t be. I’m just… Bork was my first boyfriend… Not that great, and then… I really like you, but even if you like both genders, you don’t like me… What does that say about _me?_ ’’ she said quietly. His stomach curled at her words, and he wanted so desperately to make her feel okay, but he knew he couldn’t.

,,It says nothing about you,’’ he promised, leaning down to catch her gaze. ,,It’s me, not you. You’re very kind, and sweet, and I’m _sure_ -,’’ he tried, but she just leaned against him to seal their lips. He was too surprised, so he moved away, out of her reach. ,, _Please_ , don’t do that…’’ he said flustered.

,,I’m sorry!’’ she said, stepping back herself. ,,I just… I _thought_ that…’’ she tried, but stopped and hid her face in her hands.

,,It’s okay,’’ he assured her. He really wanted to _make_ it okay, but he couldn’t. ,,I think… I need to be somewhere else, right now… I’ll talk with you later, okay?’’ he tried, still keeping his distance. She nodded, her feathers ruffling around her. He would miss that sight, when she left to meet up with her sister.

,,Yes, okay,’’ she tried, turning around to leave herself. He didn’t like to make her feel like this, but it would do her no good to stay here, when his Madam’s plan was for the staff to further decrease.

Besides, it would be cruel to string her along. Seymore didn’t want another lover. He _couldn’t_ have another lover, right now. He needed something _else_ to be his purpose, for once, besides love.

Like taking care of a weird lady, that read tea leaves and build a castle on a dead and barren island. Making sure she was okay, when she would birth some child, she believed wouldn’t fit into her life here. Or just to hide away, to numb the pain that still burst through his veins when he thought about Ruvaen. He wondered if it would ever go away?

That night, he decided to write to Feylin, to tell her all was well. Because _none_ could tell he lied, through a letter…


	21. 21) Healing magic

,,… And then you were born,’’ he said, looking down at his hands. ,,Mellis left the castle after our… talk. The dwarf stayed until your mother gave birth, but left right after. There were a few maids after that, but they came and went pretty quickly. Until… only I was left,’’ he said. Nite was quiet, as he had been the whole time, just listening without disturbing the troll. He had talked for _hours_ , at this point. He had _cried_ , but even then, Nite didn’t interrupt, he just gently held the troll’s big hands.

The silence felt suffocating. He wondered if Nite still processed it all, or if he had any hesitations now? Seymore couldn’t look at him, fearing to see disgust in the deep, mahogany eyes he adored so much. He feared Nite would think he just needed some replacement from the ghosts of his past, and he feared he himself was simply just too broken, to even be worth it with collecting all the pieces…

,,Please say something,’’ the troll begged, finally looking at the small man by his side. Nite didn’t look disgusted. He didn’t look worried or mad, he just looked so _intensely_ at him, that Seymore hardly could figure out what he thought about.

,,How many maids where at the castle?’’ he asked, surprising the troll a tad.

,,… Why?’’ he asked, taken aback slightly.

,,Because I’m trying to calculate your number,’’ he said bluntly. When the troll still looked confused, he cleared his throat, seemingly blushing. ,,… The number of people you… slept with…’’ he admitted.

,,… Why do you want to know that?’’ he asked nervously.

,,You said you would answer any question I had, _truthfully_ ,’’ he said, rolling his eyes. ,,… I remember you once said you’ve mostly been with troll women. But for that to add up, you’ve slept with _a lot of trolls_ ,’’ he said bluntly, trying to make sense in his messy calculations.

,,… As you’ll probably notice… I haven’t always been completely _upfront_ , when talking about my past. I want to… make up for that. I can give you an _estimate_ , but quite frankly… I don’t know how many I’ve slept with,’’ he grimaced. ,,But, _why_ do you want to know?’’ he asked, almost shyly.

,,Well, I’m curious by nature,’’ he shrugged. ,,I think you’re very… _skilled_ , regarding this. I think I always just chugged it up to you being a troll, and it came rather… _natural_ , for you. But I guess I was wrong,’’ he said quietly. ,,You’re afraid I’ll see you as _slutty_ , right?’’ he asked, looking up at the troll again.

,,I am,’’ he admitted. ,,It’s normal that trolls sleep around… but not to this degree. Not with different species,’’ he told. ,,And I… I really _liked_ that. Ruvaen made it possible for me, in ways I could _never_ achieve by myself, but I still feel… _weird_ , talking about it…’’ he admitted.

,,Do you _ever_ listen to _anyone_ besides the voice in your head?’’ the sorcerer said, rather harshly as he gained the troll’s attention again. When Seymore looked flustered anew, he sighed, but smiled. ,,You never _listened_ when anyone told you, that you were smart, or pretty, or _loveable_. Neither… _Ruvaen_ , or Mellis… or me. I thought it was just a problem _I_ had, but no. You really _are_ troublesome,’’ he said, chuckling gently. ,,You only listened to your parents. But… they were _wrong_ , Seymore. You’re not _broken_ or _defective_.’’ Nite’s gaze was surprisingly soft, when he leaned up to kiss his lover. Seymore felt a smidge of relief, as the lips graced his, gently melting his worries away.

,,… Thank you,’’ he said, his voice shaking slightly. ,,I’ll try to listen to you, instead.’’

,, _Good_ ,’’ he smiled, moving away, still waiting for the troll to answer his question, it seemed. He took a deep breath, before he ran the numbers.

,,… I’ve had three girlfriends. All trolls. But I’ve slept with more trolls than that, probably around… ten or so. I… I _did_ say I’ve mostly been with troll women, because most of the women I’ve had _intercourse_ with were troll women. I don’t count all the maids I’ve made come, or girls in the past where I _just_ got the tip in and came without further notice. If I counted them, then… it would be a lot more…’’ he admitted.

,,… How many?’’ he asked, more curious than harsh.

,,… Around thirty? Forty? Besides the troll women. I’ve had intercourse with about seven or eight, who weren’t trolls,’’ he said slowly.

,,… You’ve been with more men than that, right?’’ he asked, still as curious as ever. ,,Do you separate them like that as well? With intercourse and just oral, I mean?’’ he asked.

,,… It’s a little trickier with men,’’ he admitted. ,,Ruvaen like to go to these… _adult clubs_ , to find play partners. But when we were with men, I tended to get tied up and blindfolded,’’ he admitted. ,,Sure, I’ve been with men where that wasn’t the case. For what I know of, I’ve been with… sixty… Maybe a little over that… Counting both oral and intercourse, mind you. But I assume it’s more than that, _a lot more_ than that…’’ he sighed.

,,… Well, that’s certainly more than I could calculate…’’ he said, chuckling nervously. ,,… It’s a little fascinating, to be honest,’’ he said, looking back at the blushing troll.

,,I, ahm… I guess so,’’ he chuckled. ,,I got checked regularly, when I lived at the Center Isles, if… that’s your concern. I got checked again after I stopped everything with the maids at the castle, just to be safe. I have made some pretty reckless discissions in my youth, but I’ve been very lucky…’’ he said.

,,I didn’t think about that,’’ Nite admitted. ,,… I took for granted that you would have told me stuff like that… I mean, it would have been a pretty easy way out for you, back then. If you didn’t want to sleep with me, you just had to say you had some disease. I _know_ you weren’t that hard to _convince_ , but still… You weren’t _begging_ for it, either,’’ he said slowly. He was quiet for a while, before he looked back at the troll again. ,,Why did you want to… have sex with _me_ , and not the harpy girl? I mean… You said it yourself, you would probably have made a move on her, if not for… You know…’’ he said quietly.

,,I wasn’t ready then,’’ he admitted. ,,I think… I think, that whether I liked it or not, you _made_ me ready. You _made_ me want to try again. I was still _so_ scared, because… I was afraid to be your Ruvaen…’’

Nite didn’t answer for a while. His gaze grew distant and worried for a moment, as if he thought about _if_ Seymore was to him, what Ruvaen once had been to the troll. He didn’t want Nite to compare himself to the pixie, but suddenly, he realized how _little_ he himself wanted to be compared to him as well.

,,With all due respect…’’ he finally said, looking up at the troll again. ,,… I don’t believe you were to me, as Ruvaen were to you. While… I don’t _agree_ with how you handled things, always, I do _understand_ now, why you did so. But even so… I do believe you did your best to treat me kindly. And I believe you saw what I wanted and needed, and gave me as much as you could,’’ he said slowly. ,,… I don’t think he treated you fairly, Seymore. I don’t think he _tried_ to be abusive, but I… I really don’t think he was all that great…’’ he admitted.

Seymore were about to protest, but stopped himself, remembering how he _just_ had wanted to not be seen as Ruvaen. He didn’t want for Nite to feel as dependent on him and lost without him as Ruvaen had done to him, unknowingly, but that didn’t seem to be what Nite was referring to.

,,… You once told me, that he had tried to talk you out of taking him back home to your parents. But you tell me _now_ , that you _knew_ this would happen, and that it was _his_ idea, and his need. Which is true?’’ he asked. There was no harshness in his voice. Nite simply just tried to gather the facts.

,,… I lied in the past,’’ he said slowly.

,,And why would that be?’’ Nite asked, looking concerned up at his lover. Seymore could hardly answer that question. ,,My guess? You didn’t want me to think that _he_ was at fault, for ruining your relationship with your parents. You didn’t want to _blame_ him, because it was _easier_ to blame yourself. And while it’s _not_ his fault that your parents… quite frankly were _dicks_ , well… He didn’t listen. He didn’t _believe_ that people, who brought such a gentle, caring soul into the world, could _really_ be so harsh,’’ he said quietly.

,,… You’re right,’’ he finally said, feeling his stomach curl at the thought. ,,… I was… I was _so angry_ and so… _So_ scared, but I didn’t know what to do… I _loved_ him… I didn’t want to blame him for it, but… I did… But with time, I just… started blaming myself, I guess…’’ he said, looking down. ,,But Ruvaen wasn’t _mistreating_ me, he was-,’’ he began, but Nite stopped him.

,,An adult,’’ he said bluntly, with no room to argue. Seymore was taken aback, but looked down at his small lover again. ,,I read a lot, Seymore. About species and cultures as well. I’ve read a lot _specifically_ about trolls and pixies. So, let me see, if I’m right: Trolls are considered adults by the greater society when they turn 16?’’ Seymore nodded slowly, dreading what he was about to say. ,, _Good_. Trolls consider themselves adults, around when they’re about 40. They develop until they are about 50, finally reaching full maturity.’’

,,Yes, but-,’’ he tried, but Nite cut him off again.

,,I know what you’ll say,’’ he said, putting a finger towards the trolls lips. ,,Let’s talk humans instead, shall we?’’ he said, almost smirking as he did so, but Seymore could tell he was nervous and somewhat excited. ,,Humans are considered adults when they are 16. Humans are considered _sexually mature_ around 15, and with other species around what’s _comparable_ to their own age. We develop until our mid 20’s,’’ he said, removing his finger. ,,Let me say it very clearly: You didn’t do anything illegal,’’ he said quietly, making the troll shiver.

,,But he didn’t either,’’ he croaked.

,,… No, but his was _a lot_ more taboo than ours,’’ he said slowly. When Seymore were about to protest again, he cut him off once more. ,,Let’s talk about pixies: Considered adults by society at 16, considering themselves adults at 20 and developing until their 30’s. After that, they _stay adults_ for _thousands of years_. Ruvaen had had _centuries_ as an adult, when you came as a _fresh out_ teenager,’’ he argued.

,,But it wasn’t _illegal_ ,’’ he said again.

,,No, it’s not. But I’m not arguing that he did anything _illegal_. I’m saying that he should have _known_ better. _Much, much_ better,’’ he finally said. ,,I’m sure he was many things. Many _great_ things. I’m sure he was kind and funny and gentle. He was a _pixie_. But what _I_ hear, is that he was also selfish. He took in a young man, who he _knew_ wanted something he could _never_ provide, and he didn’t slow down or leave wriggle room for the two of you to build a relation _together_ ,’’ he said sternly.

He knew Nite was right, in a sense. But it still felt like so much _more_ than just that. He didn’t think of Ruvaen as selfish or manipulative, but in a way, he had _known_ that he wasn’t completely pure either, when he was ready to lie to Nite about their visit to his parents.

,,… You loved him, for a very long time. And I’m not saying he was a _bad person_ , Seymore. But you’re not _to me_ , what he was _to you_ , because _your_ reason to not be my lover, was to protect me. And while he _did_ want to be your lover, all his hesitations where because of his selfishness,’’ he said. The words stung, but he couldn’t explain why.

,,… You’re probably right…’’ he settled with. It felt weird to say that out loud. He had idolized the pixie for decades, and now, that seemed to be over.

,,Hey, look at me,’’ he said again, gently cupping the older man’s cheeks. ,,I’m not saying you or he did anything wrong. It wasn’t wrong to love him, he wasn’t wrong for loving you. But you had _many_ hesitations about me, _because_ of age and species… because you once _were_ as me… And even if you still care very _deeply_ for him, I _know_ you have some sort of resentment for the situation, because you’ve tried, _very hard_ , to avoid being _like him_ ,’’ he said gently. Seymore nodded, feeling his eyes gloss over again.

,,My hesitations were much more than that, Nite. I fear I… _ruin your future_ , or that I take something _away_ from you, and I… I don’t _want that_. But… you’re right, I didn’t want you to end up like me, if your mother threw you out or if you got so _dependent_ on someone… that wasn’t really able to give you what you wanted and longed for…’’ he said quietly.

Nite leaned up to kiss him again. First his lips, so gentle and slowly, that he almost forgot what they were talking about. After that, his forehead, his cheeks, his nose, until the troll couldn’t help but to chuckle. If Nite was _mad_ at him for his past, he couldn’t feel it. If anything, the young man was as healing for his soul, as he could only have dreamt of.

,,I love you,’’ the troll whispered quietly, nuzzling his nose against the sorcerer’s. ,,I’m sorry I didn’t just tell you before,’’ he said slowly.

,,I love you too, my little, silly troll,’’ he said gently, still cupping his cheeks and letting his thumbs gently caress the rough skin. ,,I would have understood it, even back then. None of this would have scared me off. I wouldn’t have wanted you any less, Seymore,’’ he said, closing his pained eyes. Seymore knew he was right, and it saddened him that he had wasted so much time. ,,But you weren’t ready then, and I… I understand _that_ now…’’ he smiled, opening his eyes again.

,,I’m ready now,’’ he smiled, gently holding around his small shoulders. ,,… You’re not interested in anything regarding your mother or whatever the seer had to say?’’ he then asked. He had somewhat assumed that _that_ would have caught his interest

,,No, I need to read up on that first,’’ he said. ,,There’s _so many things_ that doesn’t make sense. The harpy _couldn’t_ have been pregnant. My mother _should_ have known that… And I need to study the history of Mokar a little more… I think that _could_ answer some questions, actually,’’ he said, a faint sparkle in his eyes as he talked. He had missed this, when Nite talked about anything that really sparked his interest. But then, the sorcerer’s face grew more serious again, and he knew they weren’t done talking. ,,I need to address _one_ last thing,’’ he said, the mahogany eyes dwelling on the amber ones anew.

,,… Yes?’’ he said nervously.

,,The doe girl,’’ he said, making the troll shiver. ,,… I think I understand now, why you reacted as you did, that day in my study chamber where you… didn’t react _fast_ enough… And while _I_ have never felt you didn’t respect my boundaries… I understand why you would fear so,’’ he said calmly. ,,Did she report you?’’ he asked, but the troll only shook his head. ,,… Did you report it yourself?’’ he then asked.

,,… No,’’ he admitted.

,,You should have,’’ he said sternly. ,,She did you a favor. And as far as I can see… You made good on your promise. But,’’ he said, looking _very_ serious at this point, making the troll quiver again, ,,let it be _known_ , that I won’t hesitate to stop you _myself_ , should you ever pull a thing like that on _me_ ,’’ he said, making it very evident that he, indeed, did mean with magic.

,,Aye,’’ he said, feeling his skin crawl. ,,I won’t,’’ he promised.

,,I know. And by all means, I’m not fragile. I don’t mind you being rough or pushing for how far we can go. But I won’t have you break my body, and I _know_ you don’t want to do that, either,’’ he said, smiling again.

,,I… I was thinking about stop words, actually. I never felt I _needed_ it during our ‘sessions’, but I think it could be helpful. Maybe for you too, if I ever should slip up,’’ he tried.

,,… Yerh, maybe. But would that work better than _stop?_ ’’ he asked confused. Regardless of his confusion, he got up to sit on the troll’s lap again, leaning his tiny body against his. It felt safe, even after everything they had talked about.

,,It shouldn’t, but… I think it does. I was way more used to react to _red_ than to _stop_ when I was with Ruvaen. It’s pretty common, for the things we did, regarding submission. If you… ever wanted us to do that stuff again, it could be useful for us as well,’’ he said, not hiding the hopeful tone in his voice.

,,I’ve never felt I _needed_ to stop you, like that, _except_ that one time,’’ he said. ,,But if it makes you feel safer… Then, of course, let’s just use that,’’ he smiled, leaning up to kiss the troll again. He looked so adoringly up at him, even after all the truths and questions being said and asked. Even after all the tears and fear he had had. It was still the same, all-consuming mahogany eyes, looking at him. ,,… I think that’s about it. Will you be this honest with me again, if I ask you in the future?’’ he said gently.

,,Yes, I promise,’’ he nodded shyly. ,,I… I didn’t mean to lie in the past…’’

,,… Like I didn’t mean to lie about the earrings,’’ he said, his eyes apologetic. ,,… I’m sorry that I broke them…’’ he said.

,,It’s okay… I think… I think I really realized what I had just said and done, when you did so… My focus wasn’t on the earrings. It was on how terribly I had just screwed up,’’ he whispered, holding the small man against his body. ,,I’m so sorry that I put you through that,’’ he whispered against the pale lips.

,,I’m sorry too,’’ he said, holding onto the troll a little tighter. The lights that Nite had lit were burned out long ago, but even in the dusk room, Seymore saw him so clearly. That even after he had burned him so badly, and even after his loved one had traded a part of himself to a spirit, he was still the same soul he had fallen for, many years ago. And he felt so entirely _blessed_ that he had not only gotten another chance, but he got to see Nite _exactly_ as he had back then, falling in love all over again.

,,So, tell me, my love… How do you want life to be? You want to stay here, or are you ready for us to go out there, and build something for us self?’’ he asked gently. Nite didn’t seem as confused or startled this time, but his eyes were apologetic again.

,,Well, it… It wouldn’t be very _wise_ to take off. Not until I’ve figured out my powers, at least. Even if a lot of people wouldn’t recognize the half moon as a symbol of dark magic, then… some probably _would_. And that would not only bring me in danger, but _you too_ , if we traveled together,’’ he said gently.

,,Then we’ll just stay here. For as long as we can,’’ he said instead. He didn’t need to get out there. He didn’t mind staying at the castle, anymore, if it was with Nite by his side.

,,… And I… have to admit… _despite_ the dark mark, I don’t think… I’ll be able to give you a family… I can’t get _legally married_ if people are not supposed to see me, and I… I don’t really think I would be _fit_ for being a parent…’’ he admitted, looking nervously up at the troll. He had hardly thought about if _that_ was something that would concern his small lover.

,,Well, you’re still very _young_ , Nite. We don’t need to plan _everything_ , in regards to all of that,’’ he said gently. He didn’t _mind_ if Nite wouldn’t want that. He had given up on the thought of marriage and kids a while ago. And while he would still very much want that, had it been his loved one’s dream as well, he hadn’t really expected Nite to have dreams about marriage and kids himself.

,,… Well, didn’t _you_ want all that, even when you were just 18?’’ he asked quietly. Seymore nodded truthfully, but smiled regardless. ,,I don’t… want you to feel _stuck_ , if I never change my mind. I might _never_ want any of that. When I think about my life… _our_ life, I’ve _never_ thought about kids,’’ he admitted.

,,It’s okay, my love,’’ he smiled gently. ,,I don’t _need_ that. I still would _like_ that, but if you’ll never open up to the idea of kids running around… Then I’ll be just as happy, just with you by my side,’’ he smiled gently.

,,… Okay,’’ he finally said, subtly sighing with relief. Nite fell against the troll’s chest, just lying in his embrace while the whole world settled in around them. Seymore still had lots of questions, about them, about Nite and his powers, his travels and his plans, but he didn’t have to ask them all now. Right now, Nite looked like he had spent all of his energy, but he laid so comfortably and just sucked every warm touch from the troll into his tired, overwhelmed body, his breath calming to the older man. The troll gently lifted his lover’s face, resting it in both of his big, gruff hands, that held him so dearly.

,,Do you still want all of this? Do you want to take a chance with me?’’ he smiled gently.

,,Of course, you silly troll,’’ he said sternly, but smiled regardless. ,,It’s as I said… I couldn’t imagine that anything you told me, would have me question my choice, and it didn’t. I always _knew_ I wanted you, _all_ of you,’’ he smiled against the green lips. It felt so simple and soft, right now. As it had done plenty of times before, where Seymore would pull away, to not dwell too far into the coziness, he didn’t dare to believe would last. But now it really looked like it was possible, if he simply _dared_ it to be.

,,My sweet, beautiful Willow,’’ he whispered, feeling the man on his lap shiver, but he didn’t look like he hated being called by his birthname. If anything, it made him seem so small and trusting, as he knew only _he_ was allowed to call him so. ,,… I’ll probably not be perfect, with all of this. I might still be afraid, that it’ll all crash and burn, and I might still be insecure and hold back my thoughts…’’ he said quietly.

,,You don’t have to,’’ the sorcerer said gently.

,,… I’ll work on it. If you’ll help me,’’ he said, leaning in to kiss the pale lips again.

,,I will. If you’ll help _me_ , when I get too caught up in myself. I’ve wanted this for _years_ , and _nothing_ can compare to this, but… I’m still very hurt, Seymore…’’ he admitted, startling the troll. ,,I still love you _so much_ , but that doesn’t change that I’m hurt or that I’ve been hurt for _years_. I want _this_ more than I’ve wanted most things, but I still get _angry_ or insecure about… how we ended up, last time. And I know, when my mother comes home…’’ he started, but Seymore finished for him:

,,It won’t end like last time,’’ he promised. ,,No ifs or buts. I’ll do _anything_ you want me to, to make you feel safe when she arrives home. Be by your side, or tell her myself, it doesn’t matter. I’ll promise you _that_ , of all things,’’ he smiled, taking the long, cold hands in his, kissing his lover’s fingers gently.

,,… Okay. I trust you,’’ he smiled. ,,… Things will be _easier_ now, right? I mean… _Longing_ for this _is hard_. Being together… that’s the easy part, right?’’ he asked quietly. _Hopeful._

,,… It won’t always be easy. But the easy parts will make the hard ones _alright_ ,’’ he smiled. ,,We will be alright.’’ Nite seemed to be satisfied with this, leaning in again to kiss the troll. _His_ troll. And right now, nothing sounded better to him than being _Nite’s_ , with whatever that would mean for the future.

He laid down on the couch, the human still on top of him. It was clear that Nite didn’t want to talk anymore. Now he wanted what he had yearned for, maybe ever since that day in the library, where he asked the troll about kissing, and Seymore were all too happy to give him exactly that.

Right now, it really _did_ feel all too easy. He had been so afraid for so long, about almost everything regarding their relation, but Nite made it _so easy_ for Seymore to let go and finally just _be_ whatever it was, that he wanted to be. He had _always_ done that. But Seymore were _ready_ to let go himself now.

He had always imagined to be the leading part in their relation, as Nite often seemed flustered or uncertain what lovers _really_ were. But if anything, Seymore felt more than ever that Nite _guided_ him, and that alone melted his years of fears away.

The next days were clouded by a softness he could hardly have imagined. He didn’t get much done around the castle, and mostly let Nite lead him around to rooms he couldn’t remember _when_ he had last visited, to sneak around and kiss, even if they were all alone. He loved the curiosity and gentleness, the _playful_ nature he _knew_ Nite had, but thought he had lost. He hadn’t, he was just every ounce of himself as he could have hoped for.

Even if he knew they had to discuss it at some point, Seymore hadn’t brought up if Nite still wanted to top or not. The younger man didn’t seem to be in a hurry himself, and had plenty of ideas on how to get his lover off, even without intercourse as the main culprit. Nite didn’t ask about sex, and he didn’t allure them to take things further than oral or hands stuff.

He didn’t need to, as he was _just_ as creative and curious as he had been after he had gained his dark mark. Seymore often wondered if the spirit had _possessed_ him with some sort of magic ability to invent new ways to get him off, but he knew it was unlikely. Nite had _always_ been very creative, but he was so much more confident in his moves now than in the past.

,,Where do you get your ideas from?’’ the troll daringly asked one day. They sat in the same sofa were Seymore had talked about his past, and spend a lot more time here now, than in Nite’s study chamber. Nite sat across from his beloved troll, reading contently, while rubbing the troll’s cock with his naked feet. It was hard for Seymore to concentrate on his own book, and he wished he had brought his raunchy troll book with him, instead of something he had randomly found in the library, that seemed as far from sexual as it could get.

,,My ideas for what?’’ the sorcerer asked absentmindedly, flicking through the pages. Even if he played all innocent, his smirk was evident, even if the troll could hardly focus on that, with the small man’s feet so _persistently_ massaging his aching cock.

,, _Evil, little man_ ,’’ he growled, tilting his head backwards as the human’s toes gently rubbed the exposed, wet glans. ,,All of _this!_ You sexual deviant,’’ he panted longingly. ,,All your rope tricks, and your toys, and whatever made you want to use your _feet_ all of a sudden,’’ he whined, as the sorcerer finally looked up at him. Nite chuckled, clearly enjoying that he could _impress_ his lover like this.

,,Well, I watch a lot of porn and then it’s just a matter of how you react to it. Like, when I started-,’’ he began, but the troll cut him off with his confused chuckled.

,,Wait, where do you watch porn?’’ he asked confused. Nite had seemingly not thought he would ask about _that_.

,,… I have _acquired_ a collection, after I came home…’’ he said slowly, pulling his feet away as the troll sat up. ,,Imported, you know? It’s a wonder what you can get brought directly to your door, _even_ on a place like Mokar,’’ he said, smirking slightly as the troll looked curiously up at him. ,,You want to see it, right?’’ he smiled, getting up when the troll nodded excitedly.

,, _Yes!_ Why haven’t you _told_ me about that?’’ he asked excitedly, clumsily putting his pants on again. His dick was still erect, and it didn’t excite him any less to think about Nite sitting in some hidden room he had, looking at porn to spark his creativity.

,,I didn’t think about it,’’ he shrugged, pulling the troll out of the living room, and into the hallway. _Where_ did Nite _dare_ to put his unorthodox collection? ,,I haven’t watched that much, since we… You know…’’ he smiled, his cheeks rosy at he looked back at the troll.

Nite had surprisingly used some of the rooms that previously housed the other maids and servants of the castle. A smart move, Seymore thought, as Willa never roamed around down here. He hadn’t been down here himself since the night he had met up with Feylin, and never noticed any noise to reveal that Nite had fiddled with the rooms.

He had rarely even been in the other rooms, but this looked nothing like his old room had. It looked like Nite had removed some walls, but even so, the room looked bigger all around. He just assumed that Nite had fiddled with the back wall as well.

As any other of Nite’s rooms, it was dark and poorly lit. He didn’t know _why_ a person like Nite, that liked to read so much, had such a displease for lighting up his rooms. But with a flick of his fingers, candelabras on the wall got lit and casted light onto the surprisingly well stocked shelves.

It shouldn’t really surprise Seymore at this point that Nite had _obsessively_ collected porn. Like books on magic and culture, crystals and other remedies for his potions, these shelves were stocked as well. It looked like there were anything from movies to magazines, to books he assumed were erotica. He didn’t know _why_ or _how_ anyone would _need_ this much porn, but he guessed Nite had tackled it like any other study, and went overboard.

,, _When_ have you had _time_ for all of this?’’ Seymore asked baffled as the sorcerer sat down in the sofa in the middle of the room. There was nothing grandiose about the furniture in here, but he guessed it didn’t need to be, either. The sofa was big and looked comfortable, and he felt a slight tingle imagining the sorcerer touching himself in here, watching porn to find new ways to pique the troll’s interest.

,,A little here, a little there,’’ he said dismissively. He patted the spot beside him as the troll walked closer to the couch. He wondered if Nite had _ever_ intended to show him this room? If not just to play with him, as it seemed to be here he had most of his toys as well. It shouldn’t really surprise him that Nite were like this; kinky and well equipped, but it seemed like he had only seen a smidge of his collection in the past. It also looked like he _made_ most of his toys himself.

,,What kind of _magic_ allows you to make _sextoys?_ ’’ he mumbled quietly. Nite chuckled, before throwing something at the troll, he just barely caught. A magazine, it seemed.

,, _Well_ , I’m inventive,’’ he shrugged, picking up a pile of movies he had left on the floor. It seemed to be all kinds of stuff, as far as Seymore could tell from the covers. Both with woman and men, which shouldn’t really surprise him either, but he sometimes forgot how _excited_ Nite had been to learn about bisexuality. ,,Troll’s don’t make much porn. I haven’t found much at least,’’ he noted, looking through the covers.

,,You’ve searched for troll porn?’’ he chuckled, looking through the magazine. He wondered if Nite mostly looked at girls like this, big and plump? Heavy breast, that barely got held back in their bras, and panties almost too small to cover anything. He wondered what kind of men he looked at?

,, _Of course_ I have,’’ he smiled, putting the tapes down anew. ,,Troll’s don’t film themselves during sex? Or take pictures?’’ he asked, picking up magazines himself. It barely even seemed to face him to look at the naked bodies, but Seymore’s body wasn’t as gentle with him.

,,No, troll’s aren’t that into technology. I’ve _seen_ troll porn, but… You know, one or two magazines,’’ he shrugged, peeking to see what Nite looked at. _Orcs_. When Nite noticed the stare, he chuckled and put the magazine down.

,, _Well_ , orcs aren’t that afraid of it, as far as I’ve seen,’’ he smirked. Seymore grimaced, which only made Nite even more giddy. ,,What _is it_ with trolls and orcs?’’ he asked, barely holding back his chuckle.

,,We just rarely mix together well,’’ he shrugged. ,,I don’t actually _mind_ orcs, I’m just always extremely wary. While there’s no war between trolls and orcs, anymore, we usually agree to stay apart from each other. That, and I haven’t had many pleasant conversations with orcs,’’ he said, looking down at the human girls in the magazine. ,,… I didn’t actually know humans came in different colors…’’ he said quietly, studying the brown, naked skin.

,,Really?’’ he giggled, looking over his shoulder. ,,Well, I guess history mostly portrays white humans. A shame, really,’’ he said quietly. ,,I’ve never met other humans than my mother. But it seems like I have many _interests_ , so I like to look at what _other_ humans look like as well,’’ he told, gently flipping through the pages to show it off to the troll.

,,… All these women are heavier. Is that common for humans?’’ he asked, as Nite stopped on a page with a short, black-haired girl. Her curves were soft and alluring, and he understood why Nite looked so entranced with the soft-looking, brown skin.

,,Depends on the region. These are _much_ heavier than humans normally are, but… that’s the point. That’s why I brought this,’’ he said, taking the magazine himself. He knew Nite had said before that he liked bigger bodies, but he hadn’t thought much about it. Mostly, he had thought that Nite said, what he assumed the troll would like to hear, but it really _did_ look like he found this magazine interesting.

,,Just a moment,’’ the troll said, as he got up from the couch to kneel on the floor, the small man still on the sofa with a puzzled look. It didn’t seem like it had _no_ effect on Nite’s body, anymore, when he gently caressed his still clothed legs.

,,What are you doing?’’ he chuckled, as the troll began to open up the black, firmly pressed pants.

,,Keep looking in your magazine,’’ he smiled, feeling excited himself as the small man’s pants dropped. His dick twitched slightly, even if Nite seemed a little more uncertain as to _why_ Seymore wanted him to do so. ,,What is it? Is it weird for you, to look at others, if I touch you?’’ he smiled gently, letting his wet tongue run over the human’s length.

,,… A little,’’ he said, twitching slightly by the touch. He kept the magazine at an angle, where he could still watch the troll as he sucked him off. ,,You don’t get _jealous?_ ’’ he asked quietly, thrusting slightly against Seymore’s open mouth.

,,I don’t get jealous of _pictures_ ,’’ he said warmly. ,,I probably wouldn’t get jealous even if she sat on top of you,’’ he admitted, wrapping his lips around him again.

,,Who?’’ he asked, thrusting a little harder at this point. Nite was loud and rather needy, but he couldn’t blame him, when they were surrounded by all of this.

,,The woman from the magazine. The one with the black hair and brown eyes. She’s your _favorite_ , isn’t she?’’ he asked amused, as Nite’s eyes slowly dwelled on her again. He could see the sorcerer’s cheeks heat, as he slowly nodded, looking almost longingly at her.

,,Yerh,’’ he said breathlessly. ,,Not gonna lie, that’s probably my most used magazine,’’ he admitted. He began to open his shirt while the troll still sucked him off, looking adoringly up at his loved one. Nite seemed to be perplexed with where to look at. His eyes darted back and forth from the troll to the woman in the magazine.

,,Is that what you would look for in a woman?’’ he asked curiously, as his tongue dived down to the sorcerer’s balls instead.

,,I’m not looking for anyone else,’’ he panted, chuckling lightly at the troll’s warm gaze. ,, _I just want to be with you_ ,’’ he growled lowly.

Seymore gently stood again, leaning in over the small, half-naked man, holding him gently as he kissed him. Nite whined against the troll’s lips, grinding into the air for the troll to touch him again, making the older man smile against the pale, hungry lips.

,,I’m just curious,’’ the troll said gently. ,,You don’t _have_ to be with anyone else, if you don’t want to. I’m _very_ happy with all of this, my love,’’ he said, nuzzling his face against the small man’s neck. ,,I don’t actually _know_ a whole lot about your preferences… And I’m a little curious what you like to look at, when you’re on your own,’’ he whispered against his neck.

,,… I actually don’t masturbate while I look at all this. Maybe to _this_ , but then again, it’s my favorite,’’ he muttered, grabbing the magazine again. ,,I watch porn because it’s _fascinating_. I like looking at different people, body types, types of sex, positions… That’s how I learned to rope you up,’’ he said, visibly proud.

,,Really?’’ he said, looking around. It made sense that Nite mostly used all of this as study material, but he wasn’t sure he would had approached it the same way. Even if he tried, he couldn’t imagine he would ever get through all of the movies and magazines around the room. ,,Hasn’t this cost you a fortune?’’ he suddenly asked.

,,… No. I mostly spend money on the TV. I didn’t know how to make that,’’ he said, eyeing the troll slowly. ,,… It is rather impressive what people have to offer, for the right price. I make custom things, like jewelry or clothes, for a stack of magazines or a couple of movies,’’ he admitted. It looked like he was afraid how Seymore would react, but he just looked dumbfounded at him.

,,… You are making earrings and scarves to get _porn?_ ’’ he chuckled, making his small lover whine again. ,,No, don’t hide away. That’s very crafty,’’ he said gently, removing Nite’s hands when he tried to cover his face.

,,Don’t _put it_ that way,’’ he scolded, but smiled regardless. ,,It’s the easiest way, without using _all_ of my savings,’’ he said, suddenly looking gentle again. ,,… I still want _some_ means, when we leave the castle,’’ he said softly, pulling the troll closer.

,,Clever you are,’’ he smiled, leaning more of his body against his small lover. Nite still felt fidgety and needy, and Seymore started to feel the familiar tingle of wanting to feel him clench around him. But he still felt too awkward to ask.

,,What about you? What kind of _naughty things_ would you like to watch?’’ he purred, gesturing for the troll to sit down. Nite was still barely dressed as he stood up, handing the troll the stack of movies on the floor. He really _did_ have a broad taste, he thought, as he flicked through everything from videos of soft, pudgy girls making out witch each other, to a couple of goblins in a heavy bondage set-up, until a movie of elven men caught his interest.

,,I thought elves would be too snobbish to make stuff like this,’’ he muttered. The sorcerer fetched the movie, looking at it for a minute, before he turned around to put it on. It was decades since Seymore had even _seen_ a TV, and he wondered where Nite had gotten that idea from.

,,Don’t say stuff like that,’’ he scolded. ,,Should have known you would pick something like this. It’s pretty good. It’s rare that I see different species of elves play together, though. It seems like they prefer interspecies instead,’’ he shrugged, sitting down beside the troll again.

,,You didn’t have to-,’’ he began, but stopped when Nite leaned down, pulling down the troll’s pants to release his still eager cock. His smile when he looked _oh_ so innocently up at his lover was more interesting than anything going on in the movie.

Seymore liked elves. He liked pixies and fairies and all those kinds of creatures that were idolized in the Center Isles, that he shouldn’t be allowed to want. He liked their slender figures and cut features, and he _knew_ why people saw _them_ as beautiful, and not himself.

But regardless of what the pretty boys did as the movie continued, he couldn’t help but to look down at his lover, so much more entranced with the playful smirk as he sucked him off. Nite _knew_ what he liked, and he didn’t have to be some Godlike beautiful creature to make the troll melt, just by looking at him.

,,You don’t like the film?’’ Nite asked between sucks. He didn’t look like it really mattered. If Seymore had to guess, he liked that he was _so_ distracting that even _elves_ wouldn’t catch the troll’s eyes.

,,I think you’re much more interesting than _any_ movie could be…’’ he admitted, cupping the sorcerer’s cheek gently. He smirked again, getting a little more persistent as he kept sucking him off, the familiar moan echoing against the troll’s cock. Even if Nite didn’t touch himself, he was clearly enjoying the older man’s attention.

,,Oh, but it does have _some effect_ , doesn’t it? You’re pretty hard right now,’’ he smiled, licking the glans eagerly.

,,You’re just… _very_ , very good at this,’’ he sighed happily, leaning back against the sofa. The noises from the TV, of the elven men that sensually touched each other, with Nite’s rather greedy slurps mixed together perfectly for the poor troll. He could feel Nite shift on the sofa, but his eyes were closed, just enjoying the sounds and the touch.

When he felt the absence of the warm, wet lips against his skin, he looked up anew, to see the young man strip out of his shirt. He smiled and climbed quietly up in the troll’s lab, gently helping Seymore out of his own shirt. His gaze was playful and flirtatious, and held promises he so desperately longed for.

He could feel how the sorcerer gently grinded against him, leaning his ass teasingly against the heavy cock. He felt his body jerk against the touch itself, which seemed to amuse the small man. The TV still played in the background, and he saw from the corner of his eye how the tallest of the fair boys began to rim the smaller, showing his partner of for the publicum.

,,See anything you fancy _now?_ ’’ he smirked, looking back at the screen himself. He didn’t doubt that Nite knew _exactly_ what he had put on, and how the troll would react to the show. He didn’t even doubt that he knew every single video in this damned room by heart, if he ever wanted to show the troll something very _specific_.

,,Yerh,’’ he panted. He hadn’t noticed that he was the one grinding now, his big hands guiding the small man gently, but firmly, against his length. He was very aware that this probably was Nite’s intention, and he happily would get pounded by the big, hard cock. He also knew very well that Nite wanted him to _ask_ for it, _beg,_ if anything.

,, _Come on, love. I can see it in your eyes. Why are you hesitating?_ ’’ he growled quietly, leaning his chest against the troll, spreading his ass a little. While Seymore couldn’t see him all spread out, he could feel the warmth of his body and the pleasant waves it sent through him.

,, _I want you so fucking much,_ ’’ he growled, not as gently as the sorcerer. ,, _But I wasn’t sure, if you-,_ ’’ he began, but stopped when Nite chuckled against his lips.

,,And you’ll never find out… unless you _ask_ , silly, little troll,’’ he said, his voice playful and melodic. He could feel how Nite placed himself better, grabbing around the troll’s stiff cock to line himself up. But he didn’t sit down, and Seymore could hardly believe they wouldn’t need _some_ kind of lubricant.

,, _I want to fuck you_ ,’’ he growled, whining as Nite gently put pressure onto him. He didn’t slip in, but the suspense was nearly too much for him. ,,Lube?’’ he whined, as the sorcerer kept teasing him, so delightfully evilly.

,,Mm, just a moment. Just enjoying _this_ again,’’ he panted, kissing the troll. Seymore whined impatiently, pressing himself a little harder against his tight hole. He slipped in just the slightest, making the sorcerer gasp, before he pulled out. ,,What a _naughty_ troll you are!’’ he smirked, grabbing his own ass to spread his cheeks. Seymore’s cock slipped in a little further, a little _easier_ , making him shudder and whine as Nite didn’t let him pull out this time. ,,I _loved_ to dry-fuck your ass. But I’m not sure _this_ will work as well,’’ he admitted.

,,Doesn’t it hurt?’’ he asked, his mind clouded by the hot, tight fit. He wanted more, but if he pressed further, he was afraid Nite _would_ end up hurt.

,,Well, I do feel very _full_ ,’’ he smiled seductively. ,,It’s not like I haven’t played with myself, just because you haven’t stretched me liked this in _years_ ,’’ he said, whimpering slightly as he sat down further. Seymore groaned at the thought of Nite using his fingers, or the stars forbid, that monster of a dildo he had used on the troll in the last couple of months. He almost wanted to see that more, than to be the one fucking his tight, little ass himself.

It wasn’t easy to move like this. Even if Nite was relaxed enough to stretch around him, he wasn’t slick enough to ride him properly. Still, it felt overwhelming and safe, playful and incredibly arousing to see him struggle to sit down, his small cock pounding against the troll’s stomach. Seymore tried to sit still, to let Nite have control, as he adored so much.

,,You’re sure we shouldn’t use lube?’’ the troll asked, as the sorcerer was about halfway down his length. Nite nodded in defeat, before he without much trouble made a flick with his wrist, and the tiny bottle was as magnetically attracted to his palm. ,,I need to get used to this,’’ he chuckled, trying not to shudder. Nite really could do just about anything, he thought, as the small man painfully slowly pulled away from the troll’s aching cock. There seemed to be little to no limit to his powers, and he didn’t seem to have the same troubles with it exploding, anymore.

,,Do I need to warn you every time I use magic? I can, it’s not it, just remind me, if I slip up. I’m so used to use it for almost everything at this point, that I barely notice,’’ he admitted, as he began to lube himself up.

,,… No, it’s fine. If it’s something small, like this, it’s okay. But if it’ll affect me, in some way, please warn me,’’ he said, smiling gently. It was hard to focus on magic, when he could hear the slick noises of Nite’s already stretched hole being lubed up. ,,I want to see…’’ he muttered.

,,See what?’’ he asked, seemingly confused.

,,Your ass. I want to see you finger yourself,’’ he begged, hearing the gentle chuckle from his lover, as he laid down onto the sofa again, spreading his legs and showing off as his long fingers dug deeper into his clenching ass.

,,I thought the _movie_ were going to be your visuals,’’ he smirked, clearly enjoying the troll’s hungry gaze, all for himself. Seymore shifted his body, stroking himself as Nite kept adding fingers, more to show himself off, than to lube himself at this point.

,,I can’t concentrate about that, when you look so _fucking_ inviting. Laying there, all spread out, just for me,’’ he groaned, getting up on his knees to place himself in front of his small partner again. He leaned down, eagerly kissing him as he rubbed himself against the slick hole, when Nite finally retrieved his fingers. ,, _Stars, I want you so much_ ,’’ he growled, gently pushing forward, slipping into his lover _much_ easier this time.

,, _All yours_ ,’’ he growled, wrapping his arms around the troll’s neck, kissing him as he got stretched anew. ,,I missed this,’’ he admitted, shivering slightly as Seymore, gentle as ever, began to fuck him. ,,No fucking dildo can compare to _this_ ,’’ he muttered underneath his breath.

,,I would _love_ to see that show, too,’’ he groaned against the thin lips, quickly searching for them again. Seymore kept fucking him slowly, seemingly making his small partner impatient, but he just kept him in place and kept his pace.

,,I bet you do,’’ he moaned, trying to grind himself harder against the troll. ,,Come on, why so slow? Give me a _good_ fucking pounding,’’ he begged, whimpering when Seymore chuckled against his neck.

,,I’ve longed for this _so much_ ,’’ he admitted, licking the spot underneath the young man’s ear. ,,Longed for _you_ , and how _gentle_ and _sensual_ you can be. Longed to be like this again. I love you so much, Nite,’’ he whispered, his teeth barely scraping the skin.

,,You’re so sappy. Always warning me about how _rough_ you are, and now you’re just making love to me, like I’m a fragile little man,’’ he scoffed, still clinging to the troll’s body. ,,… I love you too. Come on, lean in over me, then. Let me _feel_ your body, at least,’’ he begged, accepting the gentle touch, as Seymore leaned more of his weight against the thin, little man.

Nite liked the pressure. He liked it when they cuddled, and it seemed to make him feel safe all around. Seymore had always been afraid to hurt him like this, but Nite was sturdy, and longed to melt together with his beloved.

It felt intoxicating to be this close. He craved the closeness, the tension and the wonderful build up. Seymore pushed further and further inside, kissing every part of the small man that he could. Nite moaned, louder than he had heard in some time, and he was just as jittery as he remembered him to be in the past.

,,Feeling alright, babe?’’ the troll panted, gently nibling the human’s round ear. Nite nodded, hiding his face against the troll’s chest, chanting and moaning unrecognizable at this point.

,, _So good_ ,’’ he moaned, clawing at the troll’s back. ,,Just a _little_ harder… _please_ ,’’ he begged, whimpering as Seymore fucked him with harder, shorter thrusts. How could he deny his lover such a _humble_ request?

,, _So tight_ ,’’ he growled, not holding back as much, anymore. Nite was completely stuck underneath the troll, but he didn’t look like he was in pain. He could feel his lovers dick against his stomach, wet with precum and grinding between their bodies, impatiently waiting for release. ,, _Can’t wait to fill you up, you pretty, little thing_ ,’’ he growled, leaning even more of his weight against the human.

,,M-make me come… Just like this… I wanna come, _please_ ,’’ he begged. Seymore chuckled darkly, loving how eager it made Nite to be like this. He had loved being bottom himself, and he hoped the sorcerer wasn’t against being top again at some point, but he _adored_ how into bottoming Nite was. He _loved_ that he was able to make him feel this way; out of control and overwhelmed, when he _knew_ Nite loved to be the one in control himself.

But he let Seymore lead. He dared to trust him with all of his body and soul.

,,Just like this?’’ the troll asked, timidly biting the human’s neck. He nodded, consumed by his own lust, clinging to the troll with both his arms and legs. ,,Where may I touch you?’’ he asked, still nibbling the soft skin.

,,M-my chest… And either you fucking _bite me_ for real, or _stop teasing me_ ,’’ he groaned, making the troll chuckle again.

He grabbed around Nite’s chest instead of his hips, lazily playing with his nipples as he kept thrusting harder. He had longed for a gentle touch, but it was hard to keep up, when his lover so eagerly begged for something _harder_ , something _rougher_ , and he gladly bit down, hard enough to make the human cry out and whine for more.

,,T-that’s fucking _it!_ ’’ Nite whined, scratching the green skin, probably leaving faint claw marks. Just as he had been in the past, his moans echoed and rung, overshadowing the TV easily, as he clenched and came, whimpering when Seymore didn’t slow down the slightest. He milked him for every drop, every spasm and every moan, before he finally let go of his neck, to kiss him so gently again, despite his still hard thrusts. ,, _Come in me. Make me yours again_ ,’’ he growled, making Seymore feel absolutely weightless in the moment.

,, _All mine_ ,’’ he growled, tipping over as Nite kept whimpering against his lips, biting down just a tad. Seymore wasn’t as loud, but he kept grunting and coming for far longer than he had expected, thrusting harder with each spasm his body made. When it finally came to an end, he kept laying on top of his dear, sweat dripping from him, but if anything, Nite hugged him tighter. ,, _I love you_ ,’’ he growled, gently kissing the small man’s forehead.

,, _I love you too_ ,’’ he growled back, melting into the sofa ever so slightly. They both looked to the side, as the movie seemed to come to an end. ,,We barely watched it,’’ he chuckled, hiding his face against the troll’s damp chest.

,,I have a feeling that we’ll be back here,’’ he chuckled, looking around. ,,I want to take a closer look at your _collection_ , at some point. But not right now. It’s hard to look at anything else than you,’’ he smiled.

,,Oh? And how could that be?’’ he teased, still keeping the troll close. Every time Seymore tried to pull away, Nite would grab on tighter. He was still surprisingly hard and hadn’t slipped out of the human yet, but his lover seemed to be in no pain.

,,It’s because I’m so madly in love with you,’’ he said softly, gaining Nite’s attention again. It was clear that the sorcerer had waited for those kind of words for years, but he hadn’t known how much he _himself_ wanted to say them. It felt safe and freeing to lay like this, so enveloped into each other.

,,By Am, I needed this,’’ he purred, seeking the troll’s lips again, much slower and gentler now. He believed him, as he himself felt the exact same way. All the things that had clicked between them in the past, were still there. It wasn’t broken, and Seymore hadn’t scarred Nite beyond healing. If anything, they healed together. ,,My, _my_. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like this before,’’ he smirked, stroking the troll’s face.

,,Like what?’’ he chuckled, feeling the sorcerer press himself further down his length.

,, _Unsatisfied_. Is this a _perk_ of you being in love? I like that,’’ he whispered, his voice still dripping with horniness. ,,I’m afraid I can only offer _myself_ for you to take it out on. But I’m sure that’ll be _enough_. Because I can give you just about _anything_ you’ll ever need, you just have to _ask_ , love,’’ he purred.

He didn’t get to say anymore, before Seymore kissed him again, not as slowly, not as sensual, but Nite seemed amused regardless. He moved deliberately, hearing more of those sweet moans he had longed for. Holding him so tightly he feared they would both break down.

,,You’re really something special, aren’t you? The only kind of magic I want,’’ Seymore panted against the pale lips. His thrusts were deep, pulling all the way out, before forcing himself back in, but Nite’s body sucked him towards him as if it didn’t want to let him go, ever again.

,,Funny,’’ he panted, grabbing the troll’s shoulders firmly. ,,I was just about to say, that I’ve never met a troll, who could _heal_ ,’’ he said softly.

,, _I’ll show you healing magic_ ,’’ he growled, kissing his forehead again, grunting against the mark. And in that moment, he believed that would be the case. That maybe _healing_ wasn’t actually all that scary…


	22. 22) The legend of Mokar

Nite’s room didn’t seem as dark and looming as it once had done. The whole, somber castle, didn’t seem as empty anymore either. Maybe it had never been like that, but he had always perceived the place as too big, a little scary and overtly dark. Now, it felt like he owned the whole world, and somehow like he tended to his own nest, not just working for an eccentric lady in the middle of nowhere.

Seymore _knew_ they couldn’t stay at the Greenlight castle forever. And while he knew Nite wasn’t that thrilled with the idea of leaving while his mark was still fresh and unstable, they both were aware that they would probably need to leave when Willa arrived home. That would first be around winter next year, maybe even spring if they were lucky, and Seymore felt rather lucky that they had so much time for themselves, to grow _into_ their relation for good, before they maybe had to pack their bags and run for the hills.

He couldn’t _know_ if the Madam would throw them out. It somehow still seemed unlikely that she would just kick her son out, after all the trouble she had had hiding him. He couldn’t know if she would be so kind towards himself, but he hoped that after years of hard work and loyalty, that she would _at least_ understand he meant her son no harm.

All that seemed very far away, when he woke up with his small lover by his side. Nite still slept safe and soundly, and he liked to just watch him like this, when he woke up in the morning. He knew his lover liked to do the same, when Seymore went to bed at night and Nite would join later on. He still woke him up sometimes, sometimes to kiss, mostly to touch him as he had done in the past, and Seymore adored every touch and every word, Nite so generously gave him.

He gently got up without waking the sleeping sorcerer. Not because he feared those beautiful eyes looking at him, but he knew his partner needed all the sleep he could get. Their days had got into a rhythm where Seymore could keep up his work, and Nite could get to study, while they still spent much of their time together. The sorcerer sometimes helped around with his magic bubbles, and in return Seymore slowed a little down to hear about magic or his latest studies, either in the evening or when they ate together.

Even if Nite still shut himself off, too caught up in his studies at times, it wasn’t for days on end, anymore, where he wouldn’t allow himself to sleep or relax. He would still be exhausted afterwards, but he didn’t mind the troll around him when he was drained and needed to recharge. Understandably, he just wasn’t as active at these points.

His chores didn’t feel as tiring. He still liked to start the day of with tea, cleaning for a couple of hours, before Nite would sleepily find him and kiss him good morning. This day was no different, as the troll was in the middle of dusting away on the second floor, when he heard the slow footsteps of his tired loved one.

,,Morning, love,’’ he yawned, tiptoeing to reach the troll’s welcoming lips. Nite still seemed rather sleepy, even if it was nearly noon.

,,Good morning. Up until late?’’ he asked gently, reaching around the small man to pull him closer to his body. He nodded and rested his light frame against the troll, looking so small and fragile in the moment. ,,Want to join me for breakfast?’’ he asked, setting aside his duster as they began to walk down the stairs.

,,More of an early lunch,’’ he mumbled, following the troll as they went through the castle. They settled to eat in the main kitchen most days, as there were better space and it was a little neater than the small kitchen in Nite’s own quarters. They could at least enjoy the full luxury of the castle while they were here and without Willa’s eyes on them.

,,I don’t mind that, either. Do you want anything special?’’ he asked, knowing all too well that he didn’t. Nite never really had a craving for anything other than sweets, and while Seymore was sure the sorcerer would hardly notice a change on his body, even if he were to be served sweets every day, the troll wouldn’t be as lucky. Despite that, Seymore still wanted Nite to have something kind of healthy, even if he had a weird disinterest in eating.

,,No, just whatever you have on your mind,’’ he said, sitting down as the troll began to prepare. Nite seemed exceptionally tired today, but the troll just let him wake up in his own pace, as he scrambled eggs and chopped veggies. ,,I found out why my mother hid me,’’ he suddenly said, brutally yanking the troll’s attention back on himself.

,,… Really?’’ he said slowly. Nite seemed bored at best, so he didn’t understand why he himself felt so nervous.

,,Yerh, or, I _assume_ that’s why she did it,’’ he said, as his lover handed him a cup of water. Nite mostly drank tea to socialize with Seymore, and preferred to drink honey water himself. He hadn’t known that before they became a couple. ,,Thank you,’’ he smiled. ,,My mother is very superstitious. There’s a legend about Mokar, mostly forgotten, but that’s probably why people in the first place didn’t try to terraform the land, in any way,’’ he said, drinking while the troll plated their food.

,,How does the legend go?’’ he asked quietly, walking around the kitchen island to sit with the sorcerer.

,,… Well, the firstborn of Mokar is said to hold powers, not able to be tamed. Which is probably why she always perceived me as an unruly child, even when I tried to behave. And while… I didn’t _always_ behave, I’m not able to tell if I was such a lost cause as she made me to be,’’ he said, blankly looking at his plate. Nite didn’t _seem_ upset, but by the way he talked, Seymore assumed he had been up _very_ late last night, to calm himself down again. ,,There’s not supposed to be anyone born on Mokar. It’s said there’s something buried here, that corrupts life. Which is probably why she wasn’t pregnant for very long,’’ he said.

,,… But all that isn’t true, is it?’’ the troll asked slowly. This gained Nite’s attention again, as he almost looked scared about his lover’s reaction. ,,No, it doesn’t change anything, my love. You just… You called it a legend… I wasn’t sure if it was likely to be true…’’ he tried, gently caressing Nite’s cheek, until he seemed to relax again.

,,It’s a legend, but… I don’t know, the demon _did_ call me firstborn on Mokar. And my mother has always told me how _powerful_ I was. I didn’t have anything to compare it too before, but looking at the other younglings from her circle? I believe her. My magic _is_ something else, none of the others could compare to, maybe besides Fae,’’ he said, as he slowly began to eat.

Nite rarely talked about Fae, but as far as Seymore understood, she had been the only one the sorcerer had really connected with. Fae was everything Seymore _didn’t_ want to interact with: powerful, manipulative and fiddling with dark magic herself. And even if Nite _insisted_ that he had no interest in ever rekindle things with her, he also knew that Nite hadn’t tried that hard to connect with the other younglings, let alone let them connect with him. He couldn’t help but feel, that Fae could be what Ivy once had been with Ruvaen; an obstacle to his happy, easy life with Nite.

,,… That explains why she didn’t want anyone to give birth on Mokar,’’ Seymore said slowly. ,,… It doesn’t explain _why_ she got pregnant herself. Or why she didn’t want to just… get an abortion… I mean, I’m happy she didn’t, because…’’ he said hastily, looking at the soft smile from his boyfriend. Just the thought of such a thing made his skin crawl.

,,Right now… I’m pretty happy to be here, too,’’ he smiled, taking the troll’s big hand in his. He gently squeezed it, while he still looked down into his palm. ,,… I haven’t always felt that way. I’ve sometimes wondered what kind of curse I was? And maybe that _is_ what I am? Maybe I’m just… _destined_ to be _bad?_ I mean… This is why the book found _me_ , specifically. Because I’m _born_ to be like this, aren’t I?’’ he asked quietly. With the hand that wasn’t in Nite’s, he gently held around the sorcerer’s chin, until he looked up at him again.

,,… Ava told me I could _choose_ good. I don’t see why you couldn’t do the same, Nite. You’re not _broken_. You’re not a _curse_ , or something that needs to be contained… You need _guidance_ … And… If you’ll let me… I would _love_ to do that…’’ he said, his smile warm and reassuring. He wasn’t sure if it helped Nite, but maybe it was just as much to steady his own nerves? He didn’t want to think of his beloved as a _lost cause_ , straying further down a path of darkness and disaster.

,,What if I really just want to cause havoc?’’ he asked shakenly. His eyes shifted for a slight moment, turning red in color, but still so gentle and scared. ,,What if I don’t want to create peace, but just want to make the world _pay?_ Just like the demon wanted?’’ he asked.

,,… I don’t know, Nite,’’ he admitted, taking both of his long, cold hands in his. ,,I don’t want to think of that, honestly. I don’t… see you that way… I don’t want to think of you as so _hurt_ and out of control, that you would want to destroy the world, I _know_ you care so much about,’’ he said gently. It didn’t seem like this steadied the sorcerer’s nerves either, but he didn’t know what kind of answer he was hoping for.

,,… Would you still like me?’’ he asked quietly. The troll was taken aback for a moment, just long enough for Nite to seem panicked again.

,,… I probably would…’’ he said slowly, squeezing the human’s hands in his. ,,… But I’m not sure I could stay with you, if that was the case,’’ he said, painfully slowly.

,,But I-,’’ he tried, but Seymore leaned down, to kiss the long, pale fingers in his hands.

,,I don’t believe in legends or myths or stories, Nite,’’ he whispered, holding his gaze firmly onto the mahogany eyes. ,,I believe in _you_. And I believe in _us_. I’ll happily hear everything you’ve read about, every theory you might have to why or how your life is and has been like this until this point, but what you describe are tell tales and spiteful stories, not who you are. And not what you’ll be,’’ he said firmly. And finally, it seemed like Nite could breathe freely again, as if he hadn’t drawn a breath since the conversation started.

,,… _Okay_ ,’’ he said, his voice still shaking slightly. Seymore let go of his hands, as Nite began to eat again, a lot more energetic this time around.

,,What’s buried in the ground?’’ Seymore finally asked, gaining the sorcerer’s attention again.

,,I couldn’t really figure that out. I think some pages went missing? Something very powerful, at least. An energy source so powerful that it drained the ground around it, and was too blinding to look at,’’ he said slowly. ,,The thing is… I don’t know _why_ she got pregnant. She clearly _believes_ this, so why would she risk it, just to gain a daughter? Why not travel for a while, get the child, and _then_ go back to Mokar, after the birth, if it _wasn’t_ to make sure she could off me, if I wasn’t a girl? But then again… Why didn’t she?’’ he asked, so much confusion and hurt in his voice.

,,I don’t know,’’ he said apologetic. ,,There always just seem to be _more_ questions, every time one is answered,’’ he sighed, finishing up his food. Nite seemed to think the same, as he began to eat again. He wondered if knowing _exactly_ what and why Willa did as she had would give Nite peace, or if it wouldn’t really change anything? The sorcerer always seemed to believe that _why_ things had happened in the past, didn’t make up for it, regardless of the excuses or reasons his mother might have had. ,,Have she written to you lately?’’ he asked instead.

,,Not since… that night, where we… ahm…’’ he said, suddenly flustered. ,,Not since we became lovers,’’ he said, looking fidgety again. He liked that despite everything, Nite was still as shy and awkward and _excited_ about being lovers as he had been in the past. The sorcerer had grown so much in attitude and confidence, but it was nice to see the glimpses of his old love here and there.

,,It’s almost been a month,’’ the troll smiled, forgetting all about the Madam again, just at the thought about how adorable Nite acted. The sudden change in subject seemed to surprise him, but it didn’t seem unwelcomed. They could always dwell on the past and weird legends on a later note.

,,Oh, yerh, that’s right. Time really flies?’’ he smiled, pushing his plate aside. Just like that, all his worries about his research seemed to fade, and he got excited again. ,,… Are we… planning anything _special?_ ’’ he asked, almost hopeful.

,,If you want to,’’ he chuckled, remembering how excited it had made himself in the past, with all these small milestones, that Ruvaen seemed to make so special for him, even if time felt near pointless for the pixie. Seymore was a romantic at heart, but hadn’t really counted on Nite being one himself. ,,What would you like to do? We can just stay on Mokar, if you’re concerned anyone would see your mark,’’ he said, taking the sorcerer’s hand again. He didn’t feel as cold, right now.

,,I wish I could cover it up,’’ he sighed, touching his forehead again. ,,But it lights up, if I try to put cloth on top of it,’’ he explained.

,,What about make-up?’’ he asked, gently touching the mark. It didn’t feel like a tattoo, but it didn’t feel like the human’s skin, either. Nite didn’t look particular fond of the idea, but he still seemed to consider it.

,,I don’t have any,’’ he shrugged. ,,I don’t think that would work, either.’’ Sometimes Seymore wondered why Nite didn’t just _create_ stuff like that, but he didn’t feel like getting some grand explanation about magic and the laws thereof right now. Instead, he cleared the table, eyeing the small man as he began to wash the dishes.

,,… I mean, we _could_ see if your mother had some… You’re a little paler than her, but not that much,’’ he said, not really comfortable with the idea. But if it worked? Then it would be worth the risk, he thought.

,,Sneaking around in my mother’s private chamber?’’ he said, looking suspicious up at the older man. Then he smiled, chuckling lightly at the absurdity. ,,Do you _really_ want to go out that much, or am I just a bad influence on you?’’ he chuckled, standing up as Seymore finished with the dishes, drying of his hands as he shrugged.

,,A little bit of both, maybe? I think… it could be very _romantic_ to go out, just for a couple of hours. It didn’t even have to be to a village, but… Well, that’s one thing I sometimes _do_ miss, even if I feel awkward around other people,’’ he admitted, smiling shyly. ,,I want to show the world, that I have someone I care about. Even if the West isn’t the most welcoming, it’s not _as_ bad as the East. We wouldn’t fear to be thrown out from a restaurant, as an example. And… It would be great for you to see a little more of the _real_ world, you’re so distant from,’’ he said gently.

,,Maybe you’re right,’’ he mumbled, as they began to walk out of the kitchen. Nite seemed to hesitate a moment, before he headed up the stairs, apparently heading towards his mother’s chamber. If Nite couldn’t cover his mark with magic, Seymore doubted simple make-up would do the trick, but if he really wanted to give it a go, he would gladly snoop around for something to cover it up with.

Willa’s room hadn’t been touched since she and Nite had left for their trip. Seymore rarely were in here, and would usually just tidy up the room shortly before she would be expected home. It didn’t seem like her son liked to be in here either, but regardless, he found her vanity and carefully searched through it.

,,She probably won’t notice,’’ the small man mumbled, taking a few products as he scooted out of the room again, the troll following him closely. ,,But won’t it be suspicious if I run around with _make-up_ on?’’ he asked, as he sat down on the staircase, looking through whatever he had gathered.

,,Not if we do it right,’’ the troll chuckled, taking powder and foundation from the batch. ,,Come on, look at me,’’ he said, squeezing the foundation into his palm. It didn’t need to be perfect, they just needed to test it out.

,,… Why do you know how to do make-up?’’ he asked, as the troll gently covered the purple area. Strangely, it covered it up nicely, he thought, until the light shined through the cover. No matter how much he put on, it didn’t stop the light from shining through.

,,I sometimes did make-up for other people, in the theater troupe,’’ he said, trying to set the area with the powder, but to no avail. ,,It _covers_ it, but the light shines through,’’ he said apologetic.

,,Well, it was worth a try,’’ Nite sighed, touching the covered spot. ,,… It feels really _weird_ ,’’ he mumbled, but didn’t try to brush it off. It looked like he needed time to process the feeling.

,,… Do you really think anyone would see it as anything, besides a tattoo?’’ he asked gently. ,,I mean… It doesn’t _look_ like dark magic…’’ The sorcerer shrugged, looking into a mirror he made out of thin air. He seemed to concentrate really intensely, to make the light go away, but it didn’t help. ,,Why didn’t you just create the make-up, when you so easily create mirrors and other stuff?’’ he finally asked.

,,That’s because I don’t have any feel for make-up,’’ he said, still looking into the mirror. ,,Like, the earrings, back then, were _very_ hard to make, because I didn’t know what they were supposed to look like. But now I’m…’’ he said, suddenly stopping, as he seemed to figure something out. ,,Just a moment! I’ll be back, _I swear!_ ’’ he said, running down the stairs, make-up in hand, before Seymore even could get up.

Seymore went on with his day, without further delays. He was used to Nite acting like this every so often, and while he kept tending to the castle, he thought about things they could do to celebrate their one-month anniversary, that wouldn’t involve traveling, if Nite couldn’t cover his mark. It didn’t feel weird, like he had sometimes assumed it would, to be like this with Nite. The small man was still fairly new and awkward to relationships, and while their interactions hadn’t changed that much around each other, it felt strangely safe and comfortable to actually _be_ lovers, in ways Seymore could have never hoped for.

It was already getting late when Seymore finally peeked into the sorcerer’s study chamber, to see what he was up to. But he could have _never_ prepared for the sight he was greeted with, and it didn’t look like Nite had intended for him to see, because when he finally registered the familiar sound of the opening door, he gasped as he turned around.

,,This is _not_ what it looks like!’’ he said hastily, trying to hide away behind his throne.

,,… It looks like you’re wearing a dress,’’ the troll said, a mixture between amused and confused. He tried to stifle his chuckle when he heard Nite groan behind the throne, walking slowly towards his small lover. ,,Can I ask _why_ you’re wearing a dress? I thought you had an idea to cover up your mark?’’ he said gently, as he stood beside the small human again.

He couldn’t lie, the sight was unfamiliar and surprising, but he thought it was rather cute how red-faced by embarrassment the sorcerer was, while sitting in his black, overly frilly dress. It was so puffy, that it looked like he sat in a little nest of black frills. On his forehead were an arrangement of rhinestones, in purple and red colors, all glowing slightly. He guessed it was to distract from the natural glow of the mark. Other than that, his thin lips were painted red, almost the same color his cheeks had at this point.

,,Don’t look at me like that,’’ he croaked, looking down. ,,… I… I don’t know, I tried on the rhinestones, but it felt so… _weird_ to have make-up on, like… It was fascinating,’’ he admitted, still looking down.

,,Where did you get your dress from?’’ he said, sitting down beside his small lover. Nite didn’t scoot away, but still didn’t dare to look back at the troll.

,,I made it,’’ he said, letting his hands run over the fabric. ,,I just got carried away. This is _not_ what I’m wearing when we’re going out, don’t worry!’’ he said hastily, finally looking back at the troll’s gentle face.

,,Well, you can if you want to. I don’t mind,’’ he said gently, tryingly putting his arm around the sorcerer. He didn’t pull away, so the older man gently let his hand run up and down the soft fabric.

,,… I look like a man in a dress…’’ he said, almost bitterly. Seymore had never really heard Nite be unsatisfied with being a man. As far as he knew, Nite had _insisted_ that he, too, was a man, to the likes of Fae. But he was also aware Nite saw himself as rather feminine, and knew how curious he could be with stuff like this.

,,Well… There’s nothing _wrong_ with that, either,’’ he smiled. The dress wasn’t really what gave him away, not even his bald head, but Nite’s face wasn’t very feminine, and the sparce make-up wouldn’t be able to fool anyone. ,,Can I try?’’ he asked, gently lifting the sorcerer’s face, looking at the patched, powdered cheeks.

,,Try what? The dress? I don’t think it would… fit…’’ he said slowly, but stopped when the troll chuckled.

,,No, your make-up. I mean, help you a little. Not because you need to wear it, if we go out, don’t worry. But I think it’s nice to play around with stuff like this, if you’re okay with it,’’ he smiled, grabbing the lipstick from the scattered pile on the floor.

,,… You don’t think it’s weird?’’ he asked slowly, as the troll gently drew the sorcerer’s lips, just a tad bigger than they were.

,,Stuff like this doesn’t face me,’’ he shrugged. ,,I would never really have thought you had an interest in dress up like this. But I don’t mind it. I think the dress suits your shape very well, and I see you figured out how to disguise your mark,’’ he noted, gently touching the rhinestones. ,,You don’t need to dress up like a woman to wear that. It’s just decorations,’’ he said, grabbing more stuff from the floor that Nite skeptically looked at.

,,Yerh, I think this would work. It’s small crystals, so they were a little harder to get to stick, but I think they would stay on for a couple of hours,’’ he smiled. ,,What is all this stuff?’’ he asked as Seymore played around with mascara and eyeliner.

,,It’s just to make your lashes a little longer. And this is to make like… a cat-eye shape, so to speak,’’ he said. Nite didn’t look bad like this, he thought, but he wasn’t sure he would fool anyone into thinking he was a woman. He didn’t need to, either, because just the simple fact that he sat in his dress, looking all small and fidgety made Seymore feel a little tingly himself. ,,Like this,’’ he said, placing the sorcerer on top of his lap, turning him around so Nite’s back was against the troll’s chest, as he grabbed the mirror on the floor to show him the results.

,,… I still look like a man in a dress,’’ he sighed, but it looked like he was a little more satisfied with this.

,,Mm, I can’t change that,’’ the troll said gently, leaning down to kiss Nite’s exposed neck. ,,It’s really pretty, the dress, I mean. You really made it yourself?’’ he asked, brushing his hands down the small man’s body.

,,Y-yerh,’’ he said, squirming on top of the troll. Seymore kept kissing his neck and jawline, and Nite whimpered in his grip. ,,… Does it excite you? That I… I have this on?’’ he panted, as the troll grabbed around his slender hips.

,,Mm,’’ he hummed against the pale skin. ,,I find it very _tempting_ when you’re so flustered and shy,’’ he said gently, slowly letting a hand creep up underneath the dress. He had somewhat expected Nite to be naked underneath, but he chuckled darkly when he discovered the small, blonde string against his thigh. ,,You made this, too?’’ he asked, making his small lover shiver and whine as he held against the bulge in his panties.

,,… I did…’’ he whimpered. Seymore let a finger underneath the panties, while his other hand traced around the silky fabric, until he reached around the small man, feeling how it clung to his barely covered ass.

,,And you weren’t gonna share _this_ with me? Naughty, little boy,’’ he mumbled, feeling the small man grind against him. It wasn’t as easy, due to the dress, but it excited him nevertheless.

,,… Little girl…’’ he whined, covering his face with his hands.

,,What’s that?’’ he asked, already pressing his clothed body against the sorcerer’s.

,,… I’m a naughty, little girl…’’ he mumbled, shaking when the troll chuckled behind him.

,,You’d like to play those kind of games?’’ he asked gently. He nodded hastily, still covering his eyes. He didn’t get to see Nite _so_ flustered very often, and despite loving how dominant and confident his lover normally was, this felt exciting in another way, like a blushing bride in a sense. ,,Such a cute, little one you are,’’ he purred, circling the growing bulge in the sorcerer’s pants. ,,What should I call this?’’ he asked, his voice low and sultry.

,,M-my… uhm, clit…’’ he whined, grinding against the troll’s warm hands as he cupped the trapped cock.

,, _Such a big clit, for such a small girl_ ,’’ he growled, chuckling lightly as Nite kept whining and grinding. ,,You’re so flustered, my love. You don’t want to be in control, like this?’’ he asked gently.

,,N-no… I don’t know…’’ he admitted. ,,It feels… weird… Like not bad, but I just feel so… So horny, and overwhelmed, just like I did… back then…’’ he admitted. Seymore’s lips were still on his neck, nibling him lightly as the sorcerer tried to speak. ,,Why aren’t you k-kissing me? You don’t like the lipstick?’’ he asked, looking up at his lover, so small and beggingly that Seymore could hardly resist.

,,… It’s because I _really_ want to see those beautiful, red lips around my cock, before I smear it all over your face,’’ he chuckled darkly, watching Nite’s cheeks heat again.

,,Oh, I… Why didn’t you just say that?’’ he chuckled nervously, as if it was his first time. He moved around to lay between the troll’s legs, his dress sprawled all across the floor as he shyly tucked in the troll’s pants. ,,… Can you help me, please?’’ he asked, his voice surprisingly small. While Nite would probably be recognized as a man, it was _indeed_ hard to look at him as the confident and curious man that Seymore _knew_ he was, when he looked so pleadingly up at his lover.

,, _Fuck, such a thirsty little girl. I like that,_ ’’ he growled, pulling his already hard cock out of his pants. Nite looked as mesmerized as he had been the very first time he had seen it, entranced with its size and slightly nervous about what to do. If this was how the sorcerer wanted to roleplay, Seymore had to admit he was a pretty good actor. ,, _Open up, baby. Let me feel those pretty lips around me,_ ’’ he growled, rubbing himself against the sorcerer’s face.

,,Like this?’’ he asked, shyly taking the troll’s big cock in both hands, stroking him gently while sticking out his tongue. Even if Nite knew exactly how to touch and suck the troll off, he made it seem so convincing that he barely knew what to do. When he finally wrapped those red, inviting lips around him, it felt like a sweet pain.

,,Doing _great_ , baby,’’ he panted, weirdly excited by the scenario. It felt comfortable when Nite was in control, but he knew his innocence were all a façade, which made him relax a little more than in the past, where he was constantly juggling his fear of hurting the human, with his unbearable lust for him as well. ,,How far down can you go? I want to see the marks from that,’’ he groaned, placing a gentle hand on the back of his lover’s head.

Without even blinking, still staring doe-eyed up at the troll, Nite’s lip glided down the cock, almost effortlessly and much further than he had expected. He made sure to tighten his lips around the pulsating organ, before he slowly pulled away to admire his own work, leaving his troll lover breathless.

,,Did I do well?’’ he asked innocently, licking the tip clean from precum as Seymore huffed and nodded. It was normal that Nite couldn’t get that far down, mostly due to the thickness of the troll, but the marks were nearly halfway down the throbbing length, making the troll all the more excited.

,, _Fucking perfect,_ ’’ he growled, holding around his cock as he guided it down the sorcerer’s throat again, a little more forceful this time. He still kept an eye on if Nite seemed to be in any kind of pain, but the small man was as into it as he used to be. His eyes were half-lidded, and a familiar expression of pure bliss and euphoria fell over him as he let the troll face fuck him. ,,Such a good girl you are,’’ he groaned, feeling him whimper against the cock in his mouth.

He tried to be gentle, but it was hard when Nite so willingly laid limbless in the troll’s grip, happily sucking him while his face and the troll’s cock got more and more messy. Small tear drops formed in his eyes, as he gagged and deepthroated to the best of his abilities, and the mascara ran down the pale cheeks, making him look so _messy_ that Seymore wanted to come on the spot like this.

,, _By the stars_ , you look so beautiful,’’ he muttered, pulling the small man up to his face, finally kissing his lips, before so beautifully painted, but now the lipstick was smeared all over his mouth. Nite whimpered and clung to the troll, getting on top of his lap again, the dress tickling the wet, aching cock.

,,It’s all over my face,’’ he said, trying to gently dry his eyes without further smearing. ,,It’s hard to wear make-up,’’ he chuckled, the innocence leaving his demeaner in an instant. Seymore dived back for more of those sweet, hungry lips, holding him tight against his body. The black, frilly dress made him seem so royal on top of him, and the troll thanked the stars for walking into this enchanting sight. ,,Would you… uhm…’’ he mumbled, looking shy again. He then leaned forward, whispering gently: ,,Will you _please_ fuck me, like this? I’m still… _such_ a horny, little girl,’’ he purred, a little less shy, a little more seductive, making Seymore groan slightly just by the thought.

,,Come ‘ere,’’ he groaned, kissing his lover eagerly, slightly biting down on those red lips. Nite whimpered again, looking into the hungry, amber eyes, as the troll’s cock found its way through the frilly dress, grinding against his barely covered ass. ,,I love how fucking dirty minded you are,’’ he groaned, pushing the lacy underwear aside. ,,Are you still _insisting_ it wasn’t your intention for me to see you, like this?’’ he chuckled, as his cock glided effortlessly between the pale cheeks. ,,You’re all lubed up,’’ he whispered, the hunger present in his voice.

,,… Maybe…’’ he panted, grinding against the troll’s heavy cock. ,,I just… I wanted to look _better_ when you found me… I wanted to _look_ more girly…’’ he admitted, spreading himself out, hoping to feel the troll inside him. ,,… _Stop teasing my cunt and_ fuck me _properly…_ ’’ he growled, begging him with his eyes.

,, _Such a naughty, little girl,_ ’’ he growled, inserting himself. He wasn’t as gentle as he normally would be, a strange disconnect with the situation and how riled up he got by the way Nite looked and acted. ,,Is this okay? I’m not hurting you?’’ he asked, stopping briefly, before Nite shook his head, melting into the troll’s embrace.

,,No, b-be _rough_. I-I’ve played with myself, just before you got here…’’ he moaned as the troll began to fuck him again. He grabbed around the human’s hips, guiding him up and down in sync with his own thrusts, making the small man yelp every time he hit him just right. ,,Y-you make m-me feel so _good_ …!’’ he moaned, supporting his weight against the troll’s stomach, riding him himself. He went in _so_ smoothly, as he was almost to believe it really _was_ a greedy little cunt his lover had.

,, _Yes,_ move those hips for me,’’ he groaned, diving down to nibble on the sorcerer’s exposed shoulders. The dress was pretty low-cut from the start, but now, it exposed the small man’s flat chest and hard nipples, making it all too easy for the troll to play with him like that. ,,You’re so sensitive here,’’ he smirked as Nite whimpered when the troll gently brushed his teeth against the firm nubs.

,, _I’m so freaking hard, Am have mercy on my soul,_ ’’ he moaned, tears dwelling up in his eyes, as he rode the troll _harder_ , the sound of skin to skin contact filling up the room. ,,You like this? That I’m your little, slutty fuck-toy?’’ he whined, looking down at the dark, amber eyes, that swallowed every moan and whimper from his dear lover.

,, _Yes_ ,’’ he growled, grabbing around the sorcerer’s ass, squeezing his cheeks hard. ,, _Fuck,_ you’re so _warm_ , you feel _so_ fucking good,’’ he purred, kissing him again. The small man wasn’t as shy with his kisses anymore, just as direct and needy as he wanted him to be, _begging_ for the troll to make him feel good in any way he could. ,,… You can handle it rough, right?’’ he asked gently. Nite nodded eagerly, kissing him as soon as the words left the troll’s lips. ,, _Then bend over. I want to fuck like trolls do,_ ’’ he growled darkly. A mixture between worry and arousal filled the sorcerer’s eyes, as he gently lifted himself, stood up to bend over the throne, his dress covering him down to his knees.

,,I, ahm… I can handle it…’’ he said, seemingly unsure as the troll leaned in over him, removing the dress from his ass and lining himself up again.

,,What do you say if you want it to stop?’’ he asked gently, waiting to push inside.

,,R-red…’’ he said shakenly. If he was afraid or anticipating the troll’s next move, he wasn’t sure of.

,,And if you want me to slow down?’’ he asked, gently pushing inside, feeling every inch fill up his small lover, as Nite’s knees shook and almost gave up underneath him.

,, _Yellow_ ,’’ he panted, trying to look over his shoulder to catch the amber eyes. ,, _Please_ , abuse my cunt,’’ he whimpered, as the troll grabbed both of the human’s arms, holding them in place on his back, still moving rather slowly at this point.

,,Don’t worry, I will,’’ he chuckled, biting down on the sorcerer’s neck, holding him further in place as he sped up.

He knew Nite was far from fragile. Besides troll women and a couple of bigger women he had been with, Seymore had _never_ been able to fuck anyone as roughly as he did with Nite. He still held back, and even if he wanted to fuck him just as deep and brutally as he had done with trolls, a voice of reason still rang in the back of his head, that his sweet, little lover shouldn’t be hurt. He could still fuck him _hard_ , and he loved how eagerly Nite wiggled underneath him.

,,You can be as loud as you want, baby. Tell me how you like it. Tell me how much you _adore_ that I abuse your tiny body,’’ he groaned, holding the sorcerer’s small frame tightly against his own, as he fucked him fast and hard. Nite hadn’t been quiet until this point, but now he really let go and moaned in bliss and pain, chanting underneath his breath with words Seymore didn’t recognize. ,,Such a _good_ little girl you are,’’ he purred, cupping Nite’s bulge, still trapped in his panties. ,, _Especially_ love this,’’ he said, biting his neck again.

,, _So good_ ,’’ he whined, his voice muffled. He had gathered the skirt of the dress into his arms when Seymore had let go of them, hiding his face in the dark material, biting down as Seymore kept fucking him. He was shaking a lot, and the troll held him up with a hand underneath his body, so he wouldn’t just collapse. ,,F-fuck my cunt _more!_ F-fuck me harder, daddy!’’ he moaned unexpected, making Seymore stop in the middle of a thrust.

,,… Don’t call me that,’’ he said, in a mixture between confusion and uncomfortableness. He had never been in a scenario where _anyone_ would call him that, never even thinking about if it would be an issue for him or not, but while he didn’t like the word itself, his body surely didn’t mind.

,,What? Why?’’ he asked, looking back at the troll again. He wasn’t really sure why. He didn’t like the implication with the age-gap, but he was also very aware, just by looking at the confused man in front of him, that Nite hadn’t meant it like that. ,,… We’re just playing, Seymore,’’ he said instead, reaching behind himself to spread his ass again, his mahogany eyes still trying to catch the troll’s gaze. ,,See? I’m just _playing_ a little, slutty girl, who wants her _daddy_ to _punish_ her with his _big_ , hard cock,’’ he purred, biting his lip when he heard the subtle growl from the troll. ,,Turn off your brain, _love_. I can _feel_ you twitch inside of me.’’

,, _You’re fucking awful_ ,’’ he growled, as he slowly began to move again. Leaning down over the sorcerer’s petite body again, trying to catch his lips, trying to _forget_ that his body reacted so _violently_ to the small man’s words.

,,I figured y-you wouldn’t like to be called s-sir or Master. I didn’t think _d-daddy_ would be a problem,’’ he whined as Seymore sped up again. The troll grunted, not really sure he could explain it, as Nite _never_ had had a problem with the age difference. It triggered old doubts, but not enough for him to not _still_ feel as hot and bothered by the whole scenario. ,,C-come on! You can do it harder than that!’’ he moaned, grinding back against the troll’s hard thrusts.

,,It’s a little hard to concentrate, right now,’’ he muttered, impressed that Nite hadn’t called quits at this point.

,,A-ah, but _daddy_ , your little girl want to _feel you fill her up_ ,’’ he whimpered, squealing when the troll pushed exceptionally hard.

,, _Shut up_ ,’’ he growled, tensing up by the words. He really _didn’t_ want to be turned on by this, but the plea in Nite’s voice was too much. ,,You’re gonna feel so _raw_ when I’m done with you,’’ he panted, before he bit down on the sorcerer’s neck again, hard enough to make the small man yelp helplessly.

,, _I like this game_ ,’’ he growled, putting his arms behind his back, very willingly letting them being held in place by the troll’s firm grip. ,, _You say you don’t like it, but it makes you so_ hard,’’ he taunted him, whining as Seymore scratched his stomach, his hand still supporting the light man. ,,I hope you enjoy this, _daddy_ , because I’ll not be able t-to rekindle this for a _while_ when you’re done,’’ he moaned, shaking in the troll’s grip.

,, _Fucking hate this,_ ’’ he growled, but it was clear that he didn’t despise it enough to stop or to use any stop-words himself. It turned him on to think of how innocent Nite had started this off, and now he was back to taunting and teasing, all the while he let the troll fuck him absolutely senseless. ,,… _Daddy’s gonna come_ …’’ he growled, reluctantly, but awfully turned on by the sorcerer’s pleas for being filled.

He felt the familiar pleasure through his body, as he fulfilled his lover’s pleas. Despite the build-up, the orgasm didn’t drain everything out of him, as he had assumed. Nite, on the other hand, seemed utterly _spent_ , even if he hadn’t come at all. As he pulled out of the small, whimpering man, his cum leaked out, slowly dripping down, dirtying the dress.

,,Just look at you,’’ the troll panted, gently spreading the pale cheeks, looking mesmerized by the flushed, filled hole. ,,Did my _little girl_ enjoy that?’’ he chuckled, making Nite whimper again as he finally let himself down onto the floor, panting and sore, it seemed.

,,I did,’’ he smiled, overly innocent again, lifting his dress to show off his bulge. The panties hardly covered it, but it seemed to excite him to show himself off like this. ,,I like roleplaying,’’ he admitted, painfully slowly releasing his cock from its prison.

,,Yerh, I _saw_ that,’’ he chuckled, sitting in front of his lover to kiss him again. His clothes clung to his green skin and his head spun, but he still felt excited when Nite began to touch himself, cheeks flushed and lips greedy.

,,You didn’t like to be called daddy?’’ he suddenly asked, still touching himself. Seymore shook his head, but didn’t stop kissing his neck. ,,Why not? You seemed to get very _rough_ , when I said that,’’ he panted, nibbling on the troll’s neck himself.

,,… I feel old,’’ he settled on. ,,It feels _dirty_.’’

,,But that’s what I _like_ about it,’’ the sorcerer complained. His dress was messy and wrinkly, but Nite still looked so satisfied with himself, as he sat in the black sea of soft fabric. Seymore wondered if he would like to do this again? Maybe he could even get him to dominate him like this, making him talk _dirty_ and use all of that taunting and seductiveness he knew he had. ,,… You didn’t use the stop-word,’’ he noted, still touching himself so gently and flirtatious.

,,No,’’ he admitted. He hid his face in the crook of the human’s neck, gently kissing his shoulder and enjoying the needy whimpers from his lover. ,,… I didn’t hate it that much,’’ he finally said, feeling warm again.

,,Silly troll,’’ he moaned, shaking lightly when Seymore held around him, pressing their bodies together again. His cock was still out, rather soft, but still aching as he rubbed it against his small partner. Nite grabbed around it, stroking them together, nibbling on the troll’s neck. ,,It feels really _naughty_ to sit like this…’’ he admitted, clinging to the troll’s back.

,,You never cease to surprise me with your creativity,’’ he panted. He towered over the small man with his heavier frame, as if Nite tried to make himself seem even smaller than he already was. ,,I want to see your cum all over yourself and your pretty dress,’’ he moaned, feeling the smaller cock throb against his own.

,,I wanna come…’’ he whimpered, grinding more against the troll’s heavy body. ,,Make me come, _daddy_ ,’’ he panted against the troll’s chest, the sheer delight in his voice audible. Seymore groaned unsatisfied, but began to stroke the small man regardless, kissing him again as he held him tightly in his grip.

He liked to use his mouth more, but Nite didn’t seem unsatisfied with the troll’s gruff hand. The small man whimpered louder against the thin, hungry lips of his lover, crossing his legs around the troll’s body, waiting eagerly to come. And just as suddenly as he had done in the past, he began to shake and jitter without warning, panting harder as he came all over both of their clothes, making a mess between them. They sat still, kissing for a minute as Nite’s breath steadied, still holding on to each other so tightly.

,,I hate when you call me that,’’ the troll said, not sternly, just a little tired. ,,But the stones held up. And if they don’t fall off during _this_ , I can’t imagine they will when we go out,’’ he said gently, kissing his lover’s forehead.

,,So… It’s happening? We’re _really_ going to a town?’’ he asked excitedly, still panting slightly. ,,… Like a _real_ date?’’ he asked slowly, his smile hopeful and excited. Just as excited as he had been in the past, Seymore thought.

,,Like a real date,’’ he said, nuzzling his face against his lover’s. ,,Do you mind if I strip out of this? For some reason, my clothes are very _sticky_ ,’’ he chuckled, gently pulling away from the grinning human.

,,Yerh, if you can help me out of this,’’ he said, standing up for the troll to untie the back of the dress. ,,It feels _heavier_ now, but it’s also all wet and messy,’’ he said, as he let the dress fall down to his feet. He was still wearing his panties, and the sight of the pale, naked skin in those tight, black, lacey panties, almost was enough in itself to make the troll lose focus on everything around him again.

,, _A sight for Gods, truly_ ,’’ he growled, caressing the small man’s back, letting his hands run down the soft skin. ,,Tell me again _why_ you got the idea of the dress? I mean, I’ve… never really taking you for the crossdressing type,’’ he said gently, mesmerized by how the fabric hugged the curves of the human’s ass.

,,Well… I saw something similar in porn, and when you covered up my mark it just… I got curious…’’ he admitted, not turning around, but clearly enjoying the troll’s gently, appreciative hands. ,,I wasn’t _completely_ sure how you would react, but I couldn’t _imagine_ you would downright _hate it_. You tend to choose porn with very feminine figures, also when we watch gay porn, so…’’ he tried, chuckling nervously.

,,That’s right,’’ he mumbled, leaning down to kiss his lover’s neck. ,,The dress actually didn’t catch me as off guard as your attitude. I could have _never_ imagined you act so innocent, or that it would be so alluring… Those big, beautiful eyes of yours, looking up at me with your mouth full… By the stars, you spoil me so much, baby,’’ he whispered, as he kept kissing from his neck to his shoulder.

,,Well, it just seemed so fitting to pretend to be someone else,’’ he said, melting into the troll’s touch. ,,You didn’t look at me, like you just saw _a man in a dress_ ,’’ he said gently, finally turning around again. Nite’s face was still messy from lipstick and mascara, but the stones on his forehead seemed to go nowhere. The mark didn’t seem to glow as strongly, anymore, as if it had given up, somehow.

,,If that was your concern, then… Why didn’t you just… I mean…’’ he tried, fumbling with his words. He didn’t want Nite to think less of himself, or that Seymore hadn’t found him interesting and beautiful, just because his face wasn’t as soft as his posture. ,,Why didn’t you use magic? I mean… You could _turn back time_ when you were 16, you can’t tell me changing your _sex_ for a couple of hours would have been hard for you now,’’ he asked curiously.

,,… I thought about it,’’ he admitted. ,,But I don’t really… _want_ to be a woman. _I hardly want to be a man._ I was more interested in the dress-up part, than the… _whole experience_ , so to speak… I just wanted to… I don’t know, look my best, for you?’’ he said flustered. ,,Would you have like-,’’ he started, but Seymore gently cut him off by kissing his lips.

,,You were absolutely stunning, my love. Just like you always are,’’ he said gently. This seemed to make Nite relax a little again, as he leaned up to kiss his lover anew, a little less spontaneous.

,,… You don’t miss being with women?’’ he asked cautiously as he pulled away.

,,… No, not like in the past,’’ he said. He moved to sit down on the throne’s armrest, with Nite joining him, sitting in the throne itself. ,,I… have done a lot, Nite. Many scenarios, many different people. That doesn’t mean all of this doesn’t _excite_ me. I feel very lucky, and very _honored_ to be part of your experimentation with all of this,’’ he said gently. ,,If I’m very lucky, I don’t see myself with anyone else, besides you, for the rest of my life. Not women nor men.’’ It briefly seemed to startle the small man, which caught the troll off guard.

,,Well, that makes sense,’’ he mumbled, seemingly flustered again.

,,… That’s not the answer you expected, or it’s not the answer you wanted?’’ he asked gently, making the sorcerer look back at him.

,,What? No, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, don’t misunderstand me,’’ he said, gently placing his hand on the troll’s. ,,… And that’s… a long time. For me, at least. I _never_ wanted anything, like I _want_ to be yours, but I…’’ he said slowly, trying to find the right words. ,,… I have all these _questions_ , Seymore. Like, if I’m only ever with you, would I then _just_ be gay? I’ll never be with a woman? If I… If I somehow _wanted_ that… Is that wrong of me? Would it be wrong if I couldn’t give you the same opportunity?’’ he asked.

Nite spoke in that soft voice, that Seymore sometimes had longed for, to get a little peek into his thoughts. He rarely needed to, anymore, and even if Nite’s thoughts were on display, they weren’t slipping out of him by mistake. The tentative, mahogany eyes looked straight at him, both unsure at how his lover would react, but trusting enough to speak so freely. Seymore caressed the small hand in his, smiling warmly as he leaned against the smaller man.

,,I don’t mind you being with others, Nite. Men, women, few or many. I wouldn’t mind if that was something you needed to do yourself, if you didn’t want me to join or watch,’’ he said slowly, watching the small man’s cheeks heat just slightly. ,,I don’t miss being with other people. I’ve _been_ with other people. I’ve _craved_ for something like this, for a long time, maybe without even knowing it,’’ he admitted, leaning his forehead against his lovers. He could feel the stones against his skin.

,,… What if I’m not enough?’’ he whispered. ,,What if I’m _too much?_ How do I _balance_ that?’’ he asked.

,,Then we figure _that_ out,’’ he smiled, placing the sorcerer’s face in his hands, gently guiding him to his lips again. ,,You’re _more_ than enough, Nite. You don’t need to be anything but _you_. I fell in love with _you._ With your curiosity and the softness I’m allowed to see, I fell for how you make me feel it’s _alright_ to just be me, and I fell for the person _you_ could just be,’’ he said gently.

,,… I guess you’re right,’’ he smiled, leaning against the troll’s body. As always, he felt a little cold, but he didn’t seem to be in any discomfort, otherwise. The coldness soothed his own, warm skin. ,,I’m just… overthinking stuff…’’ he admitted. ,,I want to be _interesting_ … I’m afraid to _bore_ you…’’ he said slowly. Seymore didn’t want Nite to think of himself like that, but he understood why Nite would seek to be thrilling or creative, if he compared himself to the troll’s past. This had been one of his fears, revealing his past for his beloved, that Nite would view himself as _not enough_ or simply that the troll was _too horny_ for one person to satisfy.

,,I tend to like that,’’ he smiled. ,,It’s not boring to me. You _are_ interesting, also when you don’t try to do stuff like _this_ ,’’ he assured him. ,,If anything, I’m really excited that _this_ seemed to work,’’ he said, gently caressing the stones on Nite’s forehead.

,,Yerh, I almost forgot about them,’’ he chuckled, standing up again. Seymore followed him, as they left the room, hopefully to wash off and get some new clothes, he assumed. ,,So… where do you want to go? I mean… on our… ahm…’’ he asked shyly as he opened the bedroom door.

,,On our _date?_ What do you want to do? I want to make it very _special_ for you,’’ he hummed gently, sitting down on the bed as Nite found clean clothes for them both. Seymore hadn’t had much clothes to start off with, but he didn’t need to, anyway, so when Nite wanted to make clothes for him and asked if he wanted anything in particular, he hadn’t asked for much. But now, he _at least_ had a couple of nice shirts, with pants that fit his body a little better.

,,I don’t want to go somewhere with too many people,’’ he said absentmindedly. ,,Not before we’ve tested this out. But not to a place where we would stick out too much, either,’’ he shrugged, throwing towels to the troll as they went into the bathroom, turning on the showers, as Nite stripped out of his remaining clothes, beginning to wash his body and face.

,,Let me help you, love,’’ Seymore chuckled, when Nite kept scrubbing his face to rid himself of not only the make-up, but the stones as well. ,,How did you put them on?’’ He assumed magic, but the crystals were as stuck as were they part of his skull.

,,With something I clearly _shouldn’t_ ,’’ he complained, holding his hand quietly over his face, mumbling something underneath his breath. One by one, the stones seemed to peel off, leaving his skin red and irritated, and naked as the foundation washed away. ,,It’s some very sticky tree-sap from South,’’ he explained, as Seymore gently kissed the sore skin.

,,Well, it works wonders,’’ he mumbled. ,,South doesn’t sound so bad, though. They’re actually fairly progressive there, and it’s beautiful at this time of the year,’’ he said, washing his skin himself. He could feel Nite’s smaller hand on his back, tracing his figure as he himself had done to the sorcerer, not long ago in the study chamber.

,,Won’t that be a long trip?’’ he asked cautiously. ,,I’m still… I haven’t…’’ he tried, finally leaning against the troll’s back, sighing slightly. ,,I’m nervous. If something goes wrong…’’

,,It won’t,’’ he promised, taking the sorcerer’s small hands in his. Nite could barely reach around the troll’s body, but he still curled his fingers together with his lovers.

,,… It’s just… I know how you’ve felt, in the past, and I-,’’ he tried, but Seymore gently turned around, picking up the small, wet man, smiling brightly towards him.

,,It’ll be _fine_. _Even_ if people were to say anything. I’m ready and _excited_ for everything, my love,’’ he said truly. He could feel his chest flutter at the words, but he knew it was true. ,,Come on, don’t worry, dear. Tell me what you want. I’ll _love_ to take you out, to see stuff, just to _be_ around other people…’’ he said. ,,You always said you wanted to give me _everything_. But you hardly ever ask for anything _yourself_.’’

,,… That’s because I’ve _gotten_ everything I wanted,’’ he smiled, placing his arms around the troll’s neck to nuzzle his face against his. ,,… What do you want, love? I don’t know what to expect. _Court me_ , as you’ve wanted to be in the past. That’s what _I_ want to see,’’ he whispered gently.

,,That’s easy,’’ he chuckled. ,,It’s a date, then. I’ll pick you up on Friday,’’ he smirked, loving the sorcerer’s now playful smile.

,,We _live_ together,’’ he chuckled, clearly enjoying himself.

They turned off the water, drying off quickly, still very much tangled together when they laid down. Seymore still needed to get dinner ready, but he didn’t feel hungry, right now. He just felt so high on love, that he could hardly believe it himself.

,,I know,’’ he smiled, feeling his loved one crawl on top of him. He loved to just lay like this, and how comfortably Nite cuddled against him. He had never assumed the sorcerer had _missed_ contact in the past, as he hadn’t had anything like this. But just like himself, it seemed like Nite _craved_ to be close to his troll, finally getting exactly what he had begged for Seymore to be. ,,I just think it sounded nice,’’ he said, moving Nite’s face to kiss him again. His lips felt hot and raw, due to all the scrubbing after the lipstick.

,,It does,’’ he whispered. ,, _This_ is what I _really_ wanted for my 16th birthday… To go to a village, somewhere _far_ away. Have dinner together or watch the stars as the sun goes down, stroll around the village and hold your hand around other people,’’ he said quietly. His smile was gentle, but his eyes held a sadness that hurt the troll. ,,I wanted _everyone_ to know that _you_ were the most _special_ person in this whole, goddamn world. I wanted everyone to look at us… To look at _me_ … To see if I was even a _real_ person…’’ he admitted, tumbling down beside the troll instead.

,,We’ll do that now,’’ the troll whispered, leaning in over his small beloved. ,,I’ll make it _all_ real.’’ The loneliness was still present in the mahogany eyes, but Seymore would pry it away. He would make up for the years he felt he had _wasted_ denying this kind of intimacy, that was so clear that they both wanted and needed.

And if he was lucky, that would be enough, for Nite to never worry about times he didn’t exist, or words someone ones had doomed the island with, claiming to know the sorcerer’s destiny, before he ever existed. Nite wouldn’t be _doomed_. Seymore would make sure of that…


	23. 23) Blooming

,,Are you _sure_ everything will be alright?’’ His hands were quivering, and even if his voice dripped with nervousness, his gaze was excited. It brought the troll back to fond memories of the sorcerer’s 16th birthday.

,,Everything will be alright, my love,’’ he assured him. ,,Did you make the protection spell?’’ He nodded, his hand clenching and unclenching around the troll’s bigger palm. He wasn’t sure if he was more nervous than excited, but Seymore, for once, felt very comfortable and sure in his choices. ,,The stones are in place. Your mother can’t track you. And we’re going far away, to a village near a portal. _Everything_ will be _fine_ , I promise,’’ he smiled, waiting for the human to close the door behind them.

,,… Okay. _Okay!_ We’re really doing it!’’ he said, more excited this time. They closed the heavy castle doors behind them, walking down the intimidating staircase, and Seymore felt the familiar spike of adoration as he saw how eagerly Nite studied the world around him.

Unlike last time they had been out of the castle, the spring had slowly begun to defrost the barren land of Mokar. It was an exceptionally dry day for this island, making the walk to the gateway not too overwhelming. He loved to witness Nite take everything in as they walked, and just like the time they had walked around the castle, he didn’t say much.

,,Were you just as curious when you traveled alone, back to the castle?’’ the troll gently asked as they came closer to the gateway. He shook his head, barely even noticing the troll.

,,No. I was too caught up in the book,’’ he admitted. ,,I barely know how I _did_ get back,’’ he said, looking up at the troll as they arrived to their transportation. Nite seemed to hesitate again, but Seymore just waited until he was ready. ,,… South, eh? I haven’t read that much about South. It’s nice, you say?’’ he asked cautiously.

,,It is,’’ he smiled. ,,I spent much of my free-time there, when I lived at the Center Isles. Very queer friendly, but their cities aren’t as big as in the Center Isles. I guessed that would fit you better,’’ he smiled. ,,South doesn’t have as many wars as North had. They aren’t as highly praised or progressive as the Center Isles, and they aren’t as old fashioned as the West and the East tends to be. They’re often overlooked, I guess that could be why you haven’t read that much about them,’’ he shrugged.

,,South never really interested me,’’ he said. ,,The magic there is mostly something you’re born with. That’s not something I can learn,’’ he explained, finally stepping onto the gateway, waiting for the troll to write down their coordinates.

,,That would make sense,’’ he chuckled. ,,I think you can still learn from things you can’t obtain. I don’t know about magic, but… Maybe it could get you a different perspective?’’ he shrugged. The sorcerer nodded, anticipating the travel, clinging to the troll a little tighter. ,,Are you ready, my love?’’ he asked gently, pulling the sorcerer closer to his body.

,, _Yes_ ,’’ he smiled, holding tightly onto the troll, as the world briefly vanished in front of them, to be replaced with a different sight when they opened their eyes anew.

While it would always baffle Seymore that Mokar even had a gateway in the first place, it didn’t lead to many places. Only smaller islands, as far as he could tell. He had chosen one of the smaller islands from South, mostly inhabited with beautiful fields of flowers and bright, green forests, so they wouldn’t have to stay in the village, if Nite wasn’t comfortable with it. From the gateway was a stone pathway, surely leading into the village he had seen on the map. Small enough to not be overwhelming for his lover, but big enough to hide away in, having their date as undisturbed as possible.

The air wasn’t heavy, even if it was warmer than in the West. The spring in South was much more pleasant than in the West, that always seemed so wet and chilly. Here, everything had already bloomed and the sun kissed the land.

They stepped down from the gateway, and Nite’s eyes were full of wonder and admiration, just as they had been when he had looked at the frosty landscape around the castle back then. Seymore didn’t know where Nite and his mother had traveled to, where they had stayed, or if Nite had even had time to take in everything around him, but the young man looked like he had never seen wonders like _these_ before.

,,It’s beautiful,’’ Seymore mumbled, looking at seemingly endless flower fields. Nite’s hand was still in his, but his grip wasn’t tight, as if he had forgot everything around him.

,,It’s so… _warm_ … Everything’s so _green!_ ’’ he said, tucking in the troll, not even acknowledging the pathway to the village. ,,Come! Look at these!’’ he said, his smile wide as if he had never _seen_ flowers like these. He sat down, letting his hands run through the thick grass with the countless of small flowers, in about every color imaginable. The bigger, more sturdy flowers bend slightly, but didn’t collapse in his grip.

,,You’ve never seen flowers before?’’ he asked curiously, sitting down beside his lover.

,,Of course I’ve seen flowers! I use them in all kinds of potions!’’ he scoffed. ,,But never like _this!_ Not this many, not _alive_ and _thriving_ like this!’’ he said dreamingly. It looked like Nite could sit out here forever, if he was given the chance.

,,Not on your travel, either?’’ he asked gently. The sorcerer shook his hand, laying down in the tall grass with a wide smile.

,,No. As said, I don’t remember much of the travel back. And when I traveled with my mother, she rarely stopped to look at _flowers_ ,’’ he grimaced. ,,… The place around the circle, was beautiful. I was just…’’ he began, but hesitated as he looked up at the gentle troll’s face. ,,I was too heartbroken to really appreciate any of that,’’ he admitted, gesturing for the troll to come closer. Seymore leaned down, kissing his gentle lips. ,,I was so lonely, without you,’’ he said.

,,Everything was dull without you,’’ he whispered, kissing him again. Nite wrapped his arms around the troll, but didn’t pull him down on top of him. They just laid there, in their flower bed, kissing all the years of pain away, creating their own reality.

,,Did you miss me, when I went away?’’ he asked. Nite only sparsely talked about his time away from the castle, and Seymore didn’t ask much into it. It always seemed to pain him to talk about, and the troll was much more interested in _their_ time together, than a time they were so far apart.

,, _Unbearably_ much,’’ he said. ,,I _never_ thought I would get to do this again,’’ he smiled, kissing his small lover.

,,… Were you scared? When you went to my study chamber, the night I arrived home?’’ he asked. ,,You _knew_ what I wanted, right?’’ He hesitated a moment, before he smiled.

,,I don’t think _scared_ is the right word. I was… I was _concerned_ with the mark on your forehead… and I was very _aware_ that if I stepped in, and we began to… _touch_ each other, that I wouldn’t be able to just _walk_ away again… I didn’t want to cause trouble for you… I _knew_ what your mother wanted, with the circle, with all that, and I… I _thought_ it would be better for you, that way… I _thought_ that was what would make you happy, in the end…’’ he said slowly. ,,I _never_ stopped loving you, Nite. Just because I was willing to let go of you, it didn’t mean that I didn’t _love_ you.’’

He felt the sorcerer’s long fingers on his cheeks, gently guiding the troll’s face against his again. It all felt so clouded now, even if it wasn’t that long ago. Like everything was hidden behind a haze, that he didn’t want to remember.

,,I never stopped loving you, either,’’ the sorcerer smiled. ,,And every time I cried or were frustrated or _needed_ someone… the only thing I wanted was for you to hold me… You didn’t have to touch me, you didn’t even have to _like_ me… I just missed you so much… The sound of your voice, your smell on my sheets… The sight of you… _By the stars, I love you so much, my silly, little troll_ ,’’ he said, growling out the last part.

,, _Come ‘ere_ ,’’ he growled, gently tumbling down beside his lover, pulling him into his embrace, kissing him so dearly until the world around them would vanish. ,,I’m so happy to be _here_ , with _you_.’’

They weren’t that far from the gateway. Even if the grass was tall, they would very likely be seen, if anyone were to use the gateway at this moment. But it was hard to focus on being discreet, when Nite hugged him so tightly, and his lips so insistently sought his own. The burning sun made the stones on the sorcerer’s forehead glitter and glimmer, and made his eyes sparkle even more.

,,If I knew _flowers_ would make you this excited, I would have brought you a bouquet earlier,’’ the troll chuckled. ,,Never took you for a nature guy,’’ he smiled.

,,Well, how would _I_ know I liked that stuff? There weren’t many flowers, around the castle,’’ he shrugged, clearly still amused. ,,Did you like to receive flowers? Have you given many people flowers?’’ he asked, gently picking flowers around them, placing them on the troll’s head.

,,Flowers actually didn’t do that much for me,’’ he admitted. He hesitated for a moment, before he smiled again. ,,Ruvaen liked flowers. It has mostly been him I’ve given flowers to,’’ he said. ,,If you would like it, I would _love_ to give you flowers, too,’’ he smiled softly, kissing the sorcerer again.

,,Mm, maybe I _would_ like that. Or maybe I just like it, because we’re _here_ , and everything is so green and full of life?’’ he mumbled. It was hard to pull away from, when Nite looked so happy and content right now, he thought.

,,You look _so_ beautiful, my love,’’ he smiled happily, gently touching the stones on his forehead. The mark still glowed impatiently, as was it annoyed to be covered up like this, but he wasn’t sure if it was the case. If anything, the mark seemed to glow anytime Nite was upset or excited, so if it glowed when he was nervous, it didn’t seem like a far stretch. ,,Do you want to see the village? Or would you rather we just stay out here? In that case, I think we should move a little further away from the gateway,’’ he said.

,,Oh, really?’’ he smirked. ,,I wonder why _that_ could be?’’ he said seductively, but sat up anyway. There were flowers and grass all over the sorcerer’s black pants and lavender shirt, but he just dusted himself of when he stood up, as if his hands contained some form of breeze. ,,Can I?’’ he asked, holding out his hands as Seymore stood up, covered by the greenery himself. The troll nodded, and let the light breeze dust him free from dirt and anything else that would have indicated they had just cuddled up in the flower field.

,,Thank you,’’ he smiled. Seymore still didn’t like that particular _feeling_ magic had to it. Like it was something _cold_ and foreign for his body to feel. Maybe it was just all in his head, because Nite seemed to feel nothing when he used magic, both on other things and himself. But he didn’t mind _as_ much when he saw how proudly Nite looked up at him. ,,Shall we?’’ he smiled, bowing slightly and holding out his hand. Nite seemed flustered and excited again, taking the troll’s hand as they finally began to walk down the pathway.

The walk through the forest were as relaxing and magical as he could have hoped for. Nite still seemed enchanted with the scenery around them, and would stop to look at things as simple as trees or birds. Even though they stopped often, the sorcerer still seemed to have an easier time walking around out here than he had had at his birthday. If it was due to the climate, him being older or whatever magic he had obtained, the troll wasn’t sure of, but he liked the thought of them just strolling around outside, for a change. Even on a barren place like Mokar, he could see the appeal of wandering around the dead forest with his small, curious lover at his side.

The path to the village was rather short, compared to their own travel to the gateway on Mokar. Soon enough, the forest cleared up and an open view of the village before them was visible, not that far from the forest clearing. It looked peaceful. As far as Seymore knew, the village served as a pit stop for many travelers, and they were quite custom to foreigners.

They paused for a moment, just taking in the sight. The houses looked differently here than in the West, he noted. A little _simpler_ , a little _lighter_ , but it seemed welcoming. Surely, more welcoming than the Greenlight castle. Nite seemed to get nervous again, clenching the troll’s hand a little tighter.

,,Are you okay, my love?’’ the troll asked gently. He didn’t try to rush them. If anything, they could just stay around in the forest if Nite really had changed his mind about their date, but it didn’t seem like he was ready to back off.

,,… I think so,’’ he said slowly. ,,I mean… I’m a fish out of water… I could hardly socialize with other sorceresses, what about regular people? If people talk with me… They’ll _know_ I’m some weirdo, who has never really been outside,’’ he said uncomfortably.

,,It’s okay. They don’t know you. And they won’t care if you act a bit strange, I promise you that,’’ he smiled. ,,Just relax. I’ll protect you,’’ he said gently, leaning down to embrace the small man.

Nite was normally so confident, and talked about the world he would reform to something _magical_. It seemed like he rarely thought about how little he even _knew_ about the world, or how little contact he really had with it. Maybe he didn’t want to reform it, if he just saw enough of it? Seymore doubted it, but he still hoped Nite somehow would drop his need to _take over_ the world.

,,… Okay,’’ he finally said, beginning to walk, but stopping a moment after. ,,Should I let go of your hand?’’ he suddenly asked.

,,What? No, why?’’ the troll chuckled, curling their fingers together instead.

,,… I wasn’t sure if that would give us unwanted attention… I mean… You’ve _told me,_ that…,’’ he began, but stopped, when Seymore just smiled so gently down to him.

,,No, don’t let go of my hand, please,’’ he said gently. ,,I’m not afraid, Nite. People _can_ be cruel. I don’t think they will bother with two travelers, though. But even if they do… It’s okay. It’s a risk I’m _very_ willing to take,’’ he smiled. ,,I’m not here with _just_ my friend. I’m with my lover. And I’m _very_ okay with showing that,’’ he said.

This seemed to be what the human had wanted to hear, as he tiptoed to kiss the troll, before he began to walk again, their fingers still curled together. And in this specific moment, Seymore just let him lead him, through the tall marble buildings, across busy streets, with many kinds of people who seemed to think nothing was wrong with the human and his troll lover.

It wasn’t like Seymore didn’t worry himself. He knew they would have stuck out in the Center Isles, and probably hadn’t been left alone in the West, either. But South was a very mixed society, with species not as fair as in the Center Isles. If anything, Nite would probably be looked upon as rather beautiful here, and Seymore wanted more than anything that his lover had a nice time, when interacting with the strange world around him.

In the West, Seymore would be perceived as his servant, if they didn’t hold hands. And he had probably not been as keen on the handholding, had they stayed somewhere in the West. But in South he didn’t fear anyone would make remarks to a couple of men, who didn’t seem to bother anyone.

Nite clung to his arm, as they walked down the streets. He was still mesmerized with absolutely everything around them, seemingly not as worried about the people around, anymore. Seymore wasn’t used to feel like this; so big and protective, with Nite so gentle and _calm_. Only few things seemed to interest the sorcerer, like magic or sex. Maybe history and culture. But now, he was in the _middle_ of the world, finally _experiencing_ it, and it felt every bit of amazing to watch his excited beloved wander around.

,,There’s so many people,’’ he whispered with awe. Seymore didn’t really feel there were that many, but if Nite had only talked with a handful of people in his lifetime, he understood why he would feel that way.

,,And none of them care if we hold hands,’’ the troll smiled, tucking the human a little tighter. It really didn’t seem like a problem. He even saw a couple of harpies, both men, that didn’t seem like _just friends_ either, but he didn’t get to point it out to Nite, before the human excitedly tucked the troll towards a small market place.

,,… It’s okay to look around, right? I don’t know the customs,’’ he whispered, making the troll chuckle lightly.

,,It’s alright. Don’t touch anything without permission, and everything will be fine,’’ he smiled, following Nite towards an old gremlin, that sold lots of books. It shouldn’t really surprise him that _this_ was what had caught Nite’s interest, and not one of the other stands around here.

It didn’t seem like the gremlin had any books on magic, but Nite still carefully looked through titles. The old man was friendly, greeted them and let them look through his collection without disturbing them.

,,Excuse me?’’ Nite suddenly said, pointing at a book, grey, old and worn-out. ,,Can I look at this?’’ he asked, and the gremlin nodded.

,,’Course young man,’’ he smiled. He then looked at Seymore, his grey eyes rather warm. ,,Haven’t seen you two ‘round here before,’’ he said.

,,We’re not from here,’’ the troll smiled, looking through the books himself. ,,You have quiet the collection,’’ he said, looking through piles and piles of old fashioned poetry. He recognized more titles than he wanted to admit.

,,Been a collector my ‘ole life,’’ he smiled. ,,But, as my wife passed, the passion went, too. Now these all need new, good homes. Otherwise my kids will just throw ‘em out when I’m gone,’’ he laughed, not unkindly. Seymore didn’t know how old gremlins could get, but with the greyness of his fur, he guessed he was older than he had first assumed.

,,I’ll take this,’’ Nite suddenly said, closing the book again. ,,Do you have anything else like this?’’ he asked, as he fiddled with his coin pouch.

,,’Fraid not, young man. That’s a gift I got from an ol’ friend of mine. It was already in bad condition back then,’’ the gremlin apologized.

,,That’s okay, you should see some of _my_ books,’’ he grimaced. ,,How much? Oh, and have you found anything you’d like?’’ he asked, then looking back at Seymore.

,,No, I think I’m set,’’ the troll smiled. There were endless amounts of books at the castle, and he could hardly pick which to read next.

,,Just a copper piece, and it’s yours,’’ the gremlin smiled. Regardless of his answer, Nite still handed him a gold coin.

,,I’m not sure it’s the right currency,’’ he explained. ,,But this should cover it,’’ he said, refusing to get his change, already on his way to the next stand.

,,Very generous o’ him,’’ the gremlin said. He didn’t look like someone who was used to having gold like this, almost forgetting Seymore were still around.

,,Yerh,’’ the troll smiled. ,,He’s like that, too,’’ he said, waving a farewell as he hurried after Nite.

Most of the stands were with people, who wanted to sell their old stuff. Nite didn’t seem to care much about old furniture or clothes, but would search for books or artifacts of any kind, not surprisingly. It looked like most of the village were present, either running the stands or shopping around themselves.

,,Can I give you anything?’’ the small man suddenly asked. Seymore had been looking through a chest with small figurines, for some reason all formed as cats, and hadn’t been paying attention to the sorcerer who was looking through jewelry.

,,… Well, I would honestly like something you’ve made yourself, more than any of these,’’ he smiled, looking at the less than pleased harpy running the stand. ,,Not that these aren’t _beautiful_ , miss,’’ he tried, quickly scooting away with the human.

,,There’s nothing _else?_ I want to spoil you,’’ he said hopefully.

,,You already do, my love,’’ he whispered gently. He leaned down to kiss the sorcerer’s forehead, making Nite squirm in the middle of all the stands. It seemed to surprise the small man that no one really seemed to care, not even the people who had _clearly_ seen them. ,,See? It’s alright, we’re very safe,’’ he smiled. Nite hesitated, before he took the troll’s hand again and they began to walk anew.

,,… I thought the world would be less welcoming,’’ he mumbled.

,,Well, South is not without problems, either. But not many places are as safe for interspecies queer couples as here. I wanted your experience with the world to be _good_ , love. The world can soon enough be cruel, you don’t _need_ that,’’ he tried.

,,… Then, the rest of the world just need to be a little more like _this_ ,’’ he said, smiling fondly to the troll.

They walked by a stance with baked goods, mostly breads and buns, but with sweets as well. The smell had lingered in the air since they had entered the market place, but it didn’t seem like Nite had noticed it up until now.

,,Can _I_ give you anything?’’ the troll chuckled, as Nite had set his eyes on the pastries.

,,I can buy them myself!’’ he said hastily, but Seymore had already gestured to the owner of the shop to come over.

,,You certainly _can_ , but let me pay this time,’’ he smiled. ,,Anything you fancy in particular?’’ he asked. He already knew Nite were looking at the strawberry tarts. The sorcerer liked fruity things, as long as they were filled with sugar.

,,… Well, these do look pretty good,’’ he said, not surprisingly picking the tarts.

,,We’ll take them, then. And a box of these,’’ he said, pointing to a box of cookies, also beautifully on display. The naga behind the counter nodded, handing it all to the troll as he paid for it.

With this, they left the market, to sit at a fountain with their baked goods. It was a long time since he had eaten sweets, he hadn’t baked himself, but it felt rather cozy to sit in the sunlight with the fountain purling behind them.

,,Do you like them?’’ the troll asked, as the sorcerer mindlessly licked his fingers clean. He usually did this to tease his poor lover, but he wasn’t sure Nite even noticed that he did it right now. Maybe it was out of habit? Maybe he knew exactly how it affected his troll body to watch the man so _carefully_ and innocently cleaning himself. Regardless, manners weren’t his stronghold.

,,I like your baking better,’’ he smiled. Seymore wasn’t sure if he agreed on that, but he still smiled at the sentiment. He could never bake anything as beautiful and delicate as this. ,,But they still tastes good. I just… I think it’s really nice to sit around when you bake, or to eat it fresh out of the oven. Maybe I’m just not that attentive to the sweets, because there’s so much _happening_ around here,’’ he said quietly. There weren’t many people in the streets where they sat, but Seymore understood that Nite tended to be overwhelmed with impressions.

,,Well, I’m glad we don’t have to travel to South _every_ time we need sweets,’’ he smiled, gently taking the sorcerer’s hand again. ,,It’s a nice place. Beautiful day,’’ he smiled. ,,… It’s a little strange to be out in the real world, for once,’’ he chuckled.

,,Yerh, but it’s a good kind of weird,’’ he said, leaning against the troll’s heavy frame. ,,Did you have any special plans for today? I mean, I didn’t mean to derail anything with the market and such,’’ he asked, a little fidgety.

,,No, I thought we would just check out the village a little. Maybe eat dinner somewhere here, a little later. I didn’t want to set up anything too fancy, if you’d get uncomfortable,’’ he said gently. ,,You’re doing so good, though. You were very generous with the gremlin, too,’’ he said.

,,Well, I have enough money,’’ he shrugged. ,,I won’t miss a gold piece. I won’t miss _ten_. But I _know_ we at some point have to leave, and we need to have _some_ money for then,’’ he said slowly. ,,… You’ve worked very hard for the money you have. And I don’t like that you spend it on _me_ ,’’ he said quietly.

,,… In the years I’ve lived at the castle, I’ve barely spent _any_ money, Nite. My savings will not vanish just because I buy you baked goods or that we go out for dinner. I’m rather well paid, couldn’t wish for much else, actually, and I’ll keep saving for the future…’’ he said, hesitating a tad. ,,I don’t know if your mother saves money for you, or-,’’ he tried, but Nite interrupted.

,,She does. Also after I became an adult. She said it’s to support my future wife,’’ he said quietly, making the troll feel a clench at the tone of his voice. ,,And if I get married within the circle, she’ll continue to support me, she made that very clear. Not if it was to _Fae_ , but about everyone else,’’ he sighed.

The silence suddenly felt uncomfortable. Seymore wanted to ask so many questions, but where Nite had seemed content just a moment ago, he now seemed tired beyond reasonable. He knew Nite had no problem with leaving his mother, when time would come, and Seymore doubted they would need money when Nite so carefully could craft just about anything, from jewelry to clothes for them to sell, but there were still so many uncertainties.

,,Seymore, I don’t need _gold_ to have a great life,’’ he suddenly said, looking slightly at the troll again. ,,Sure, you’re right, I’ve lived at a castle, were everything were taken care of, all the times… By you… But right _here_ , there’s no castles. No _walls!_ I know it’s a lot of work, still, but… It’s _beautiful_. And we’ll be _alright_ , when we _do_ leave,’’ he smiled. The stones glow suddenly seemed a little more looming, but it didn’t look like Nite noticed himself. ,,As soon as I get this under control, we can go do _anything_ ,’’ he said, so gently that it almost melted the poor troll.

,,I look forward to that,’’ he smiled, leaning down to kiss the small man. Rather quick, not as deep, but regardless of Nite being a man or not, he wasn’t keen on showing the whole village _that_ kind of insight into their relationship. It still seemed to fluster Nite when Seymore got so near, and he quickly looked around them to get a feeling for their surroundings. ,,It’s alright. I think everyone’s occupied by other things,’’ he chuckled, as if the sorcerer expected to get in trouble.

,,You’ve always told me about all the reasons you were uncomfortable when going out, and now you’re just super casual about holding hands and kissing?’’ he asked suspiciously.

,,Well, it’s something else when you’re here,’’ he admitted. ,,… You make me feel more comfortable, because you always seemed to believe it could all be so _easy_. And I really hope you’ll feel, that it can be,’’ he smiled.

Nite was about to answer, when they suddenly heard surprisingly loud voices. Even though they weren’t far from the market place, the voices of other people hadn’t seemed intruding before now. A small group of Southern trolls arrived, loudly talking and joking with each other. Seymore knew they weren’t from the West, because not only were they greyish in color, they were also surprisingly a lot smaller than the trolls from the West. Still taller than himself, but not nearly as intimidating as the giant creatures from his home.

They didn’t seem to notice the two lovers, but Nite surely did notice them. It had always been hard for Seymore to believe that the sorcerer _truly_ fancied his current state, and not his younger self, but looking at how he goggled at the trolls passing by, not subtle at the slightest, made the troll smile again.

He didn’t know if Southern trolls were more forgiving, or if they were just too occupied with their conversation to notice them, but the three, muscular men walked by them without glancing their way. The way Nite looked at them, made him think that he would have _loved_ to visit Seymore’s old home, but how utterly stupid that would have been brought him back to reality.

,,You seem rather comfortable now,’’ the troll chuckled, making the sorcerer blush.

,,I’ve never seen other troll’s than you!’’ he argued, still looking slightly in their direction. ,,By Am, they’re still so big…’’ he mumbled, caught off guard when the troll chuckled again.

,,Never met Southern trolls,’’ he admitted, looking at them himself. They seemed to be heading to the market. When he looked back at Nite, he looked guilty and nervous for even looking at them. ,,I think your _interest_ is very fascinating,’’ he admitted, as if Nite hadn’t _clearly_ been checking them out.

,,Maybe, but I’m just… I shouldn’t be… By _all_ the Gods, I’m so awkward…’’ he muttered, feeling the troll’s big arm around his small frame. ,,We’re on a date and I just _stare_ at strangers passing by,’’ he muttered, looking down.

,,Don’t worry your pretty head with that,’’ the troll said warmly. ,,Come. Let’s look around some more. We’ll find a place to eat later tonight,’’ he said, standing up and taking the sorcerer’s hand again.

Seymore didn’t want Nite to feel weird. He had lived so secluded, that everything seemed to catch his eyes. As long as he didn’t harass other people, the troll didn’t see at problem with the young man just looking around. Nite seemed to be more timid than he had assumed him to be, keeping close to the troll at all times. Seymore had almost forgotten how it was to be anywhere else than at the castle, but it felt strangely safe to escort the sorcerer around.

Soon enough, Nite got tired of the village, and they retreated out to the woods. It was interesting to see his lover so infatuated with nature, observing every tree as the most interesting thing. It made him think, that they probably hadn’t needed to go to a village, to have a great day out, but it also made him think that Nite’s 16th birthday couldn’t really have been better, had they gone to a town instead of the woods.

Despite his dreams of power and control, the sorcerer was pretty easy to please. He didn’t need anything fancy, and everything was so new to him, that it was hard _not_ to impress him. But Nite didn’t long for romantic, candlelight dinners, or strolling down streets in the sunset. He would probably have been just as happy, if not more, to lay in the flower field and cuddle until the sun settled.

,,What kind of book did you buy?’’ he asked, when Nite sat down on his lap. Seymore had sat underneath a tree the sorcerer so curiously had studied, holding the book for him, but there were no pictures, and it seemed to be written in a language he couldn’t understand.

,,It’s a book about crystals and stones,’’ he said, opening the book to look through it himself. ,,It’s written in mermish. A little harder to understand. But I don’t have many books from the merfolks of South. Merfolks from North don’t have as much magic, but I have more books about them. They seem to be in pretty much every war from North,’’ he said nonchalantly, skimming the pages.

,,Well, they seemed to be pretty good at it,’’ the troll mumbled, knowing that the merfolk still ruled over North. ,,What’s interesting about stones?’’ he asked, looking curious down at his small partner.

,, _Lots of things!_ ’’ he smiled. ,,Stones are _magical_ , not just crystals! Some stones can be soothing just to hold or have around you, without even using any spell on them first! Crystals has a lot more power, but they tend to need spells on them to work,’’ he said excitedly. Seymore loved the way the mahogany eyes sparkled when he explained things like these.

,,Are _these_ magic?’’ he asked, lazily tracing the crystals on the sorcerer’s forehead.

,,These are used, discarded crystals that I smashed up, to make tinier pieces,’’ he said, leaning against the troll’s body. ,,They _could_ be, but they’re not. They are hexed to glow, but that’s about it,’’ he shrugged. His mark didn’t seem to glow that much when he relaxed, and Nite did indeed look very content right now, smiling up at the troll. ,,This is very nice, love. I’m happy you took me out,’’ he smiled, welcoming it when the troll leaned down to kiss him.

,,I think it’s very nice, too,’’ he smiled. ,,It’s so interesting to see you react to everything around you. I really can’t imagine you, out there, without this sparkle in your eye,’’ he said gently, holding the small man closer in his embrace.

,,… Well. It’s hard to find excitement about the world around you, when my mother didn’t give me as much time to look around, but… even if she had… Everything just seemed more… _dull_ ,’’ he admitted. ,,I missed you so much, back then. I sometimes wish I hadn’t been so _stubborn_ , or that I didn’t throw you out, that morning…’’ he mumbled, closing his eyes.

,,I understand why you did, as you did,’’ he said quietly. ,,… I wish I could have said it back, the first time you told me you loved me. I _knew_ I had feelings for you, but I… I was just afraid,’’ he said, hugging his beloved a little tighter. ,,I don’t know if I _loved_ you yet, but… Under different circumstances, I wouldn’t have hesitated as much…’’ he admitted.

,,Was that because of my mother, or because of Ruvaen you didn’t dare to even try it out?’’ he asked gently. There was no bitterness in his voice, he asked just as curiously as Seymore just had done about crystals and stones.

,,Both,’’ he settled on. ,,Mostly, I didn’t want you to end up as I did, thrown out because of who you loved. I didn’t know if I was ready for that kind of change, either. It was hard enough to figure out my feelings, and I feared we would end up in a situation, where I needed to take care of you, because I ruined your home,’’ he said slowly.

,,You always seemed to think I was _helpless_ ,’’ he scoffed, but he still smiled at the troll.

,,No. I just remember how helpless _I_ felt, when I left Ruvaen,’’ he said gently. Nite didn’t answer, but held a little tighter onto the troll’s hand in his. ,,I didn’t do the right things to protect you. And I also acted out of fear, for what your mother would do to me. I can never apologize enough for that,’’ he whispered gently to the small man in his arms.

,,… You don’t have to. I understand why you did it,’’ he smiled, sighing contently in the troll’s embrace. ,,This is really nice. The sun, the forest… Just _being_ here, everything is so… _peaceful!_ ’’ he smiled happily. ,,Why didn’t you flee to here, after you broke up with Ruvaen?’’ he asked.

,,I sometimes ask myself the same thing,’’ he said quietly. ,,South is not always kind against people with birth defects. My defect doesn’t have any health problems, but if I had? Then it would be hard for me to get treatment,’’ he shrugged.

,,Isn’t there _one_ single realm with no disappointments?!’’ he said, a sudden flare of anger in his voice.

,,… No, there isn’t,’’ Seymore said quietly, caressing the top of the sorcerer’s head, until he relaxed anew. ,,But in Vaihines, there’s no mercy for _any_ of these things. I wouldn’t have survived, down there. I would have been _killed_ ,’’ he said, the realness of his words making him shiver slightly. ,,That wouldn’t have been the case, had I been born in South.’’

,,… It shouldn’t be like this,’’ he sighed. ,,People should be _free_ and _safe_.’’

,,I think most people can find a place where they _are_ safe,’’ he shrugged. ,,… Tell me about this world you’ll create.’’ Nite hesitated for a moment, before he looked back at the troll, his eyes uncertain and worried.

,,… I thought you didn’t want to hear about that kind of stuff,’’ he admitted.

,,I never said that,’’ he smiled. ,,I just… I don’t think I understand what you _want_. You want to take over the world, to make it _safer?_ ’’ he said, trying to sound as inviting as he could.

,,… In a sense,’’ he said slowly. ,,I always thought, that Aenamo was as much of an utopia as the books told me. My mother has never discussed homophobia or racism, sexism or ableism, or any kind of problems that I _know_ Vaihines has. But after we talked about such, I came to realize that… The world hasn’t treated you _right_. I thought you were an unlucky troll, split between worlds and expectations, but… It wasn’t much different in the circle,’’ he admitted.

,,What do you mean?’’ he asked, hopeful to get to hear a little more of this secret world Nite had visited.

,,Well, the hierarchy was based on the same kind of racism as the Center Isles. While I don’t know _exactly_ where the circle was located, it’s safe to say Fae and her mother was from around there. It was _clear_ that all elves or half-breeds hereof had more power, _even_ in a circle, of all places,’’ he mumbled.

,,What _is_ a circle?’’ he then asked. Seymore had a general idea of the concept, but it was all very abstract.

,,A circle is formed, primarily of sorceresses, to form a bond of shared magic. A circle will enhance their natural powers, shared with each other. In return, sisters can have no secrets and are of one blood,’’ he said casually. ,,It’s a life sentence. You can only free yourself of the circle, if you have a successor, which is kinda hard to get. Not only do they need to have an interest in a circle to begin with, but they also need to be able to fill your _specific_ role. That’s why most have apprentices or daughters, that hopefully can take over for them when time comes. Otherwise, the circle will eventually die out,’’ he said.

,,… Then it makes sense if she wanted a daughter…’’ the troll said slowly. ,,But that doesn’t explain why she so desperately wants you to marry within the circle.’’

,,… For some reason, my mother simultaneously _despises_ me and wants me to stay in a place where she can _observe_ me,’’ he sighed. ,,That’s my conclusion, at least. Maybe because she fears that I’ll ruin the world. And… maybe I will? I _know_ you don’t want me to say that, but isn’t that _exactly_ why I would seek out, something like the half moon?’’ he asked quietly. ,,… She wants someone _strong_ to hold me back, if necessary. But she doesn’t want to be the one doing that. I don’t _know_ what she wants, but _clearly_ her passion is neither the circle, nor motherhood!’’

Nite’s breath were shallow again, his fist clenching slightly without him even noticing. The former, rash temper of the young man he had known, were still all too present, but it wasn’t as destructive or out of control as Seymore once had feared. Ever since Nite had returned with the half moon on his head, and ever since he began to dominate the troll, Seymore felt no fear that he would get hurt beyond repair. If Nite didn’t break him when he had been that angry with him then, he wouldn’t do it now, he thought. He had _seen_ how bad it would get. He could handle it, easily.

,, _I_ will do that,’’ the troll said calmly, kissing the sorcerer’s cheeks to calm him down again. ,,Don’t fear losing control, my love. _I’ll_ hold you back,’’ he said quietly.

,,… You can’t do that, if I really lost control…’’ he said, his voice quiet and quivering.

,,Yes I can,’’ he chuckled, making the mahogany eyes dart back to him. ,,Your demon can’t hurt me. And neither can you,’’ he smiled, a little more confident than he actually felt. But he could hold up any kind of confidence, as long as Nite looked so astonished and mesmerized back at him, as if he had solved a puzzle the sorcerer had battled with for years himself. ,,I love you,’’ he whispered, kissing the small man again.

Kissing underneath a tree, in some village far away from their home, were different than any kiss, they could have at any place in the depths of the castle. It all _felt_ different. It all felt _real_. Nite was _real_ , their _love_ was real, the world outside still _existed,_ _even_ with them in it. And for once, Seymore let go of his past, to just _enjoy_ the feeling of being alive again.

He let go of his parents, of Ruvaen, of denial. Of all the hurt, both the hurt he had seen and survived, and the one he _knew_ he had caused himself. He let go of the guilt of his past, his hesitations and all of the fears. And in that moment, he would have given any amount of gold to live through everything again, just to _be_ in this very moment again.

They just sat here, underneath the tree, until the sun began to set. Regardless of how long they sat here, how much they kissed or just whispered sweet nothings to each other, Seymore could never get enough of the gentleness of the sorcerer’s touch. And even with the whole world around them, Nite _still_ looked at him, as if he was the most interesting thing he had ever seen.

When the sun finally went down, they began to go back to the village. The streets were even less busy now, making it easy to find an inn to eat at. He hadn’t thought the village to have grand restaurants, but it didn’t need to, either. The inn was small and cozy, and they settled in a corner where they could talk a little more privately.

,,So, what do you want?’’ the troll asked, already standing to get their food.

,,I don’t know,’’ he said. ,,I don’t even know what kind of food would _be_ here.’’ Despite Nite’s distaste for _eating_ , Seymore knew pretty well what the sorcerer would and would not eat.

,,Let me see what I can find, then,’’ he smiled, before heading to the counter.

South was most known for their fruits, and it didn’t really surprise the troll to see fruits on almost every single dish he could order. Roasts where roasted with tart fruits, rice where served with salty meats and sweet fruits. Even the soups had fruits in them, stewed in the broth, to make them sweet and tangy to bite into. He saw fruits and dishes he had never seen before, but he knew Nite would probably not be as adventures as himself. He settled for the rice, hoping the sorcerer would at least try it.

The naga serving him was fast and delightful. She took his order and made a note where they sat, promising the food would be ready soon. He then went back to his fidgety boyfriend, that seemed anxious as ever to be left alone in his own company, all of a sudden.

,,You’re alright, love?’’ he smiled, taking the human’s hand in his.

,, _Yes_ , I’m just… I feel like people are looking at me…’’ he muttered. ,,Are the stones still on? Are the _make-up_ still on?’’ he asked, nearly panicky.

,,Relax, no one is looking, Nite, everything is _fine_ ,’’ he promised him. ,,Look at me. I’m here now. People aren’t looking, they’re not afraid or disgusted. They’re doing their own thing, just like us,’’ he smiled.

Nite didn’t get to say anything else, before the naga arrived, much faster than he had anticipated. The food was plated beautifully, surely much prettier than he himself made their food at home, and it didn’t seem to set off Nite. If anything, he just looked at little confused. She had also a bottle of wine with her, placing it with their glasses.

,,Please tell me if you need anything else,’’ she smiled, blinking to the troll. She went away again, and Nite seemed much more interested in the naga than in the food at this point.

,,Wine?’’ he asked, pulling the sorcerer back to reality, as he looked confused at the bottle. ,,I mean, do you want any?’’ he chuckled, as Nite seemed to not understand the question.

,,… Yes, why not?’’ he said, hesitating to hand the troll his glass. ,,I, ahm… I haven’t had alcohol before…’’ he said slowly, as he looked at the dark, red liquid. It didn’t seem like he liked the smell of it.

,,I guessed as much,’’ the troll smiled. ,,I like wine more than I like beer. I don’t get as sick the day after, even if I drink too much, and I don’t get drunk as quickly,’’ he noted, pouring himself a glass. ,,We didn’t _need_ the wine, I just… well, I figured we would celebrate,’’ he smiled, waiting for Nite to raise his glass with him.

,,I guess you’re right,’’ he chuckled, raising his glass with his loved one. ,,Cheers!’’ he smiled, taking a rather bold gulp. For a moment, Seymore was afraid he would spit it out, but despite the strange faces he made, he kept it down, regretfully swallowing the bitter, surprisingly spicy liquid. ,, _This_ should be _better_ than something that tastes _worse than this?_ ’’ he asked confused, looking at the gentle, chuckling troll.

,,It’s not the _greatest_ wine I’ve ever had, but it’s not bad either. Haven’t had any wine _quite_ like this,’’ he smiled, sipping himself. ,,You’re not supposed to drink it like water,’’ he chuckled, when Nite daringly took another gulp.

,,It tastes _awful_ ,’’ he whispered, but couldn’t keep the chuckle down either. ,,I hope the food is better than this demon liquid,’’ he muttered, as if he wanted to hex the glass and its contents.

,,The food is probably very different from what I make. I just chose what I hoped you would like the most,’’ he said gently.

,,… I’m sorry, if I’m a problem to cook for. I, ahm…’’ he began, gently poking to the still steaming pile of fruits on his plate.

,,No, I didn’t mean it like that,’’ he assured him, a little more gently this time. ,,I wish I could make you something that you _loved_ to eat, and didn’t just tolerate. Besides sweets,’’ he chuckled. He wondered _why_ Nite didn’t like to eat. It had never really changed. If anything, it had only gotten worse. Maybe he wasn’t as _picky_ anymore, but his indifference towards food grew as the years passed. He wouldn’t scowl if Seymore served him new things, but even his love of sweets had passed and become something less enjoyable for him.

,,It doesn’t taste bad,’’ he settled on after a couple of bites. ,,Better than the wine, at least,’’ he chuckled. He still took another sip from his glass, much smaller and a little hesitating.

,,I think it pairs with the wine pretty well, actually,’’ he said. Seymore did enjoy to try new things like this, but he rarely did so when he cooked. The food supply got sent directly to the castle. While he _could_ ask the Madam for specific ingredients if he needed any, he much rather would cook with whatever she had picked out for him.

The rest of the dinner went pretty smoothly. Nite ate, but would sometimes look up, to see if anyone were looking at them. While there seldomly were, every time someone _would_ glance their way, Seymore had to calm him down again.

,,Are you not feeling well, my love?’’ he asked gently, when Nite had deemed he couldn’t eat a bite more.

,, _No_ , my body feels very weird,’’ he said quietly. ,,I don’t _get_ why I’m so anxious all of a sudden,’’ he muttered, fidgeting on his seat again.

,,If you’re done, then let me pay, so we can go home. It’s late anyway,’’ he said, emptying his glass. Now he rather regretting drinking most of the bottle himself. Nite had had about a glass, maybe a pinch more, but Seymore had had the rest. The wine had been stronger than he had first assumed, so when he tried to stand, he felt the world spin shortly.

,,… I think we’ll stay for a moment,’’ Nite said, pouring the troll a glass of water, as his lover sat down again. ,,I think you celebrated a little _too hard_ , love,’’ he said, not unkindly.

,,I haven’t had a drink since I left the castle to see Feylin,’’ he croaked. ,,I haven’t taken any days off since. And I don’t drink around the castle,’’ he promised. It strangely seemed to calm Nite, that Seymore wasn’t in his normal, controlled state.

,,It’s alright. Let’s sit for a moment. It’s a nice place, I just… I don’t know, maybe it’s just weird to be outside of the castle, for once?’’ he shrugged, looking around again.

,,That’s probably it. But don’t worry, love, I’m right here. Even if I’m a little tipsy,’’ he chuckled, taking then sorcerer’s hand in his. ,,It’s been _very_ nice today. Thank you for coming with me,’’ he said gently.

,,Thank you for taking me out,’’ he smiled. ,,This _is_ really nice. The world all around us _is_ very beautiful, even if it’s flawed,’’ he sighed dreamingly. ,,… Is this something you’ve missed a lot? I mean… Not just the last month, but… in general?’’ he asked carefully.

,,In some ways, I did,’’ he shrugged. ,,And don’t misunderstand me, it _has_ been very nice. It’s fascinating to see you react to the whole world around you. But frankly, I would like it just as much, with just the two of us, alone somewhere in a forest or the likes of it,’’ he smiled dreamingly.

,,Yerh? I think I like that stuff more, too,’’ he smiled, looking around again. ,,… I think I miss the privacy. I’m used to be _glued_ to your side when we’re around each other, and it feels weird to be so _close_ to you, but I… I can’t just, ahm…’’ he tried, shyly looking around again. ,, _I can’t just pull you aside and_ touch you _how I want to,_ ’’ he growled lowly, his smile still shy and flustered.

,, _No, you’ve been pretty kind to me today, not being too seductive_ ,’’ he growled, feeling a familiar rush through his body. ,, _But I mean, the night is still young? I could find_ plenty _of ways to pull you aside from nagging eyes_ ,’’ he growled, a little bolder than he should be. This seemed to catch Nite’s interest again, as his gaze shifted around the inn.

,,Where? I’m not doing _that_ in the bathroom,’’ he scoffed.

,, _No? Then what about that forest you fancied so much? It was pretty overgrown, and if you can keep your sweet voice down, no one would notice,_ ’’ he growled, his smile hungry and excited. Normally, this would get the sorcerer interested, but this time, it didn’t seem like he was as enthusiastic. ,,Too much?’’ he asked instead, trying to calm himself down again.

,,… You’re drunk, Seymore,’’ he said bluntly. ,,I feel very safe around you. And I don’t feel _unsafe_ right now, but… I can’t count on your senses to be as strong, like this,’’ he said calmly.

,,You’re probably right,’’ he muttered, already feeling his head clear up a little, but he didn’t need to push the topic further.

,,… I don’t like saying no to you,’’ he admitted, his gaze concerned again.

,,I can handle a no, Nite. I rather have you say no, than doing anything you’re not into,’’ he said gently.

,,Well, I _am_ into it. But I can _see_ you’re drunk. Your eyes are a little hazier, you talk a little more slurred than normally,’’ he said, looking around. ,, _I could think of no better way to end of the night, than to do something risky like this_ ,’’ he admitted, his gaze briefly mischievous and playful, before he got serious again. ,,But, ah… Even when _you said_ you would _do it like trolls_ , you were _gentler_ with me, than you would have been with another troll. I _know_ I can’t handle how _real_ trolls would do it, even if I want to. And I’m not sure you’ll be as alert, like this, if you were too rough,’’ he admitted.

,,Then we do it at another point,’’ he said gently. ,, _I understand a no, don’t worry. It’s not your responsibility, remember?_ ’’ he growled lowly.

,, _Yerh, I know, but we… We have always been very_ physical _with each other, right? Not just kissing and hugging, I_ know _you’re very sexual, and… that’s okay… I’m just afraid not to keep up_ ,’’ he growled, admitting his fears.

,,I want,’’ he started, gently taking the sorcerer’s hand again, ,,to spend _every_ day with you, Nite. I never thought I would be able to _feel_ like this again. You don’t have anything to _keep up_ with. I want to laze around at the castle with you, reading, talking, laughing. Just as much as I want to watch you _experiencing_ the world around us. You don’t _have_ to be _nude_ to keep my interest. _Everything_ about you interests me, from your creativity, to your confidence, to your _passion_ ,’’ he smiled gently.

,,… Wow,’’ he smiled. Even through the dim light, his cheeks were a little redder than before. ,,… Thank you. I don’t mean to make a big deal out of these kinds of things, I just… I feel insecure, about all of… All of us,’’ he admitted, surprising the troll.

,,… Why?’’ he asked carefully.

,,Because this is something I can’t _study_. No books will tell me about having _relationships_ , let alone relationships with _trolls_. Back then, when we… When we _weren’t_ a couple, I imagined it would all be so _simple_ , but now I worry so much about screwing it up again,’’ he admitted.

,,Is this about _us_ , or about what you read the other day? About Mokar, and all that, I mean?’’ he asked instead.

,,… It’s _both_ ,’’ he said. ,,… I really want to believe all of _this_ is real… It _feels_ very real, it’s just… such an _emotional backlash_ , for some reason,’’ he admitted. ,,I’m afraid to disappoint,’’ he whispered.

,,You don’t,’’ he promised. ,,Nothing about you is _disappointing_. I’m not _disappointed_ about your… _forehead_ , I’m not disappointed about how our relationship is going. You’re making it every bit as _easy_ as you did back then, whether you notice it or not,’’ he said gently.

,,… I’m afraid you wake up, at some point, realizing you never had kids,’’ he finally said. It surprised the troll, but even more, his own reaction surprised him. The clench he felt through his body, was one he hadn’t expected. ,,That was a _big_ part of your problems with Ruvaen. But I… I can’t _do_ that for you… I _know_ I might warm up to the idea of kids, but… I don’t think so. And I don’t want you to-.’’

,, _I want to spend every single day with you_ ,’’ he growled gently, repeating the words. ,,I don’t want to think about the past. I will still _make up_ for wrongs I’ve done, don’t misunderstand me. But what I wanted in the past, and how it was with Ruvaen… is not how it has to be with _us_. There’s so much _we_ can do, there’s _so many ways_ where we’re such a better _match_ than him and I were,’’ he tried. This seemed to satisfy the sorcerer a tad, and he smiled again. ,,I understand why it’s all confusing and overwhelming. We’ve spent _so much time_ feeling like that. And we _will_ feel like that again, it’s not that, I just… I hope I haven’t convinced you that it’s _all_ it has to be…’’ he said slowly.

,,You haven’t,’’ he smiled, standing up, reaching for his lovers hand. Seymore got up a little easier this time, feeling a little more clearheaded. ,,I want to spend every single day with you, too,’’ he said softly. ,,And I’ll… _try_ to be all that, you think I am… But that doesn’t mean I’m not also rude or clueless or obsessive…’’ he smiled apologetic.

,,I know. I fell for all that, too.’’


	24. 24) Scolding hot

They didn’t go to another village for some time after their first date, but Seymore still persuaded Nite to go out with him, both on Mokar and to other isles. Traveling still drained the sorcerer a lot, so they didn’t explore the world _too_ often, but every once in a while, Seymore packed a bag for them, for them to see different scenery than just the old Greenlight castle. Despite often claiming to be too busy, Nite still loved every minute of it, when he finally agreed to go with his lover.

It was one of the simple joys the troll had; watching his beloved being excited over the sheer beauty of the world around him. And when he looked at the gentle, wide-eyed man in front of him, he knew _exactly_ what he had fallen in love with, so many years ago: all the faces, only he had been allowed to see.

No matter how much time Willa would spend traveling with her son, it would never allow her to see her son like this. No matter _how_ flattering the sorceresses of the circle would try to be, wouldn’t allow them either. But ever since Seymore had allowed Nite to be as he was, confused, loud and different, he had seen all these sides of Nite, that no one else had.

And now, something seemed to have settled in the young man, as he, just as natural as in the past, could relax around the troll, and enjoy how _simple_ things finally were.

Seymore loved to lay in bed, slowly waking up and just look at his small, sleeping lover. He didn’t feel like his whole world revolved around his work anymore, and he had _plenty_ of time to just relax and wake up while cuddling up to his sleeping boyfriend.

It was hard to keep his hands to himself, as he gently caressed the small man beside him. Most days, he just let Nite sleep in. He didn’t need to wake him up, and mostly, Nite tended to be grumpy when woken like this. Still, sometimes he just couldn’t help but to kiss the pale shoulders, or just feel so warm and cuddly inside when laying close to his partner.

,,… You’re too hot…’’ the small man mumbled, but didn’t try to flee from the troll’s embrace.

,, _Warm_ , love,’’ he corrected him, chuckling a little with his deep, raspy voice. ,,I’m sorry if I woke you up,’’ he apologized.

,,No you’re not,’’ the sorcerer muttered. ,,Come ‘ere,’’ he said instead, turning around to kiss the troll good morning. His lover was still tired, it seemed, as he almost melted into the soft touch. ,,And I meant what I said, silly. You’re _too hot_ ,’’ he grinned against the thin lips.

,,Oh is that so?’’ he asked teasingly, leaning a little more of his body against Nite’s, ,,Then, if that’s the case, let me _warm you up a little_ ,’’ he purred, gently scraping the sorcerer’s neck with his teeth.

,,It’s too _early_ to be horny,’’ he whined, but couldn’t help but pant a little in the troll’s embrace.

,,It’s always _the perfect time_ to be horny,’’ the troll teased playfully. He didn’t try to touch him any particular way, regardless of how hard he could feel he already was. He knew Nite rarely were in the mood in the early hours, and when he was, he would take the lead himself. Seymore could only _hope_ to be lucky enough, that this morning was one of those days.

,,Mm, if you say so,’’ he chuckled, rolling onto his back to guide the troll on top of him. As soon as he did so, he felt the long, slender hands grab around his growing cock, getting more than just his hopes up. He tried to pin him down a little, but it didn’t seem like that was in his lovers’ plans. ,,No, I think I have something _else_ in mind for you today, love,’’ he smirked, gliding his hands further down the troll’s impatient cock, down to his balls and even further back, making the troll shiver slightly at the silent promise.

Without further instructions, the troll let his small lover guide him down on his back, spreading his legs, hopeful that the human wouldn’t _just_ tease him. His cock still pounded against the air, twitching when Nite shifted to sit between his legs, gently grabbing around them, spreading him out a little more.

Nite found enjoyment in being a sadist, _his Master_ , and general joy in just exploring new stuff with his beloved troll. But unlike last time he was in such a power position, the sorcerer didn’t feel a need to be the top as often, just because he was the one in charge. If anything, Seymore loved it even more when Nite would tie him up, using him as his personal dildo, and then punishing him for _liking_ to be a dildo.

,, _Am I getting spoiled this early in the day?_ ’’ the troll growled, panting as the gentle hands kept spreading him out, running a finger across his anus as he felt the familiar, cold spike of energy through his body. Strangely, with time it didn’t feel as frightening. It was a reminder of what was about to come.

,, _Maybe. Isn’t it an awful long time since_ I _was on top?_ ’’ he growled, smiling teasingly to his lover as his fingers still circled the troll’s ass. The older man nodded, spreading his legs further, hoping to feel _anything_ inside himself.

,, _Yes_ ,’’ he hissed, hearing the human’s gentle chuckle above him.

,,You’re _adorable_ like this,’’ he smiled, leaning in over the troll instead, seeking his lips as he gently grinded himself against his lover. It was clear he was a little more awake this time around, as he firmly guided the troll as they kissed.

He felt the small man’s hands on his pecks, gently touching and feeling him up. While Seymore’s nipples weren’t as sensitive as Nite’s, he could feel how _excited_ it made his lover to touch him like this. When he finally let go of the troll’s lips, it was only to kiss and bite Seymore’s chest.

,,A chest fan?’’ the troll panted, still trying to grind against the sorcerer’s hard member, but he didn’t slip in. Nite looked up, his gaze soft and entrancing, much more focused on his chest than his ass, at this point.

,, _Yes_ ,’’ he smirked, his face still nuzzled against the green skin. ,,You’re not as sensitive here, but I love the way you feel,’’ he smiled, biting down again. ,,Say, have your ever considered piercing them?’’ he then asked, trying to sound casual, but the mere thought seemed to excite him.

,,… Well, not in the middle of sex,’’ he chuckled, feeling his body yearn when Nite kept playing with him. The thought seemed to excite him as well, or maybe it was just because Nite seemed so into his chest suddenly? ,,Would you like me to do so?’’ he panted, watching the small man bite and suck. The brief thought of metal glittering against his skin, or rings to be pulled at excited him more than he would like to admit.

,,… Yerh,’’ he admitted, finally pushing forward, making the troll yelp slightly at the feeling. ,,I mean… It would kinda be a _treat_ , just for _me_ , you know? I _loved_ to watch you strut around with your earrings, but like _this_ … It would only be for _my eyes_ ,’’ he said, his voice low and husky. He liked the slight _possessiveness_ that loomed from his lover, when he talked like this.

,,Then maybe I’ll consider it,’’ he panted, feeling the sorcerer as he finally began to move again. He smiled satisfied, before moving his hands down to the troll’s broad hips, digging his fingers into them to hold him in place.

,,Mm, bet they would look _great_ on you,’’ he hummed against the green lips. ,, _Fuck_ , you _feel_ great, too, love. I always forget how _warm_ and _tight_ you are,’’ he panted, slightly licking the troll’s lips.

Nite wasn’t as rough as he tended to be. He fucked him rather slow, got as deep as could, and got enveloped in the moment. Seymore felt strangely small and cared for in the sorcerer’s embrace, and he clung just as dearly to the small man’s back, as he normally would do to the troll.

,,Such a naughty troll you are, waking me up and making me _horny_ ,’’ he smirked, running his nails over the troll’s skin. ,,Turn around, _big boy_ , let _me_ warm _you_ up, for a moment,’’ he mused, kissing him once more before he pulled out.

Seymore turned around without hesitations, spreading himself out and felt Nite slip into him again, without further obstacles. Like this, the sorcerer could be a little harder, and the troll felt more relaxed like this regardless. A little more out of control, anticipating every touch the small man would grace him with. He whined when he felt the first slap against his bare ass, thanking his lover underneath his breath.

,, _By Am_ , just _look_ at you,’’ the sorcerer panted, reaching underneath the troll to grab his cock. ,,You get _so hard_ when I spank you. I wonder how hard you would get, if _these_ were all pierced and sore?’’ he chuckled, letting his other hand pinch the troll’s nipple again.

,,… You’re _really_ into that idea, aren’t you?’’ he panted, clenching the sheets when Nite spanked him again.

,, _Yes_ ,’’ he moaned, admiring the red marks that undoubtedly graced the troll’s skin. ,,I _love_ to see you red and sore, with marks all over that pretty, dark skin of yours,’’ he praised, leaning more of his small body against the troll’s big frame.

,,Then you got to be _harder_ than that,’’ he moaned, feeling the nails dig into his back. ,,It’s some time since I got new marks, you’re being _too gentle_ with me, _love_ ,’’ he whimpered, groaning slightly at the sting on his back.

,,I _miss_ seeing fresh marks on your body,’’ he moaned, thrusting harder into his lover. ,,I’m gonna fill you up _nicely_ , then I can think about marking you, horny troll,’’ he mused, resting his body on top of his lovers, grabbing onto him and fucking him ruthlessly at this point. He loved that Nite could be as hard as he wanted, without it ever being a problem to take him. Seymore knew Nite sometimes had worried about his size, but he _never_ felt he missed out on anything, the sorcerer _more_ than making up for it.

He had once thought that Nite had grown his stamina, after they had _rekindled_ their relation. He had held up much better when on top, and had much greater control of his orgasm in general. Or so Seymore had thought at least, because as soon as they returned to a more loving and playful relation, Nite was yet again as sensitive as he had been in the past, coming rather easily by the troll’s hand, mouth or even just by his cock if he was _really_ good. He still lasted longer on top, but not nearly as long as he had done with their love at bay.

Seymore liked that. Not because he didn’t want to go for _much longer_ than he knew Nite’s body could handle, but because it reminded him that Nite was _much more_ turned on by their connection, than simply _just_ his body. He _wanted_ him, _every single part of him_.

,,Such a _pretty_ boy you are,’’ the human hummed above the troll’s heavy frame, kissing and biting his neck, only abrupted when his eyes wished to observe his beloved troll. ,, _So_ fucking _sexy_ ,’’ he growled.

,, _So good…_ ’’ he growled quietly, whining when the human spanked him again. ,, _Thank you_ , Master… I’m being such a _bad troll_ …’’ he moaned, feeling yet another hard slap. He could only hope Nite was serious about giving him new marks, as the mere thought was more arousing than his apparent release.

,,No, you’re being a very _good_ troll,’’ he purred. ,,This is a _treat_. For you _and_ me. I _know_ you love this, just _feel_ how fucking hard you are,’’ he moaned, stroking the troll’s cock again. ,, _I love you_ ,’’ he growled, holding him firmly in place.

,, _I love you too_ ,’’ he growled back, feeling the familiar jitters and spasm, as Nite began to reach his climax. His noises got louder, and his movements sped up, making him forget any plans on spanking or scratching his dear troll, as he let the orgasm run through his body. Seymore groaned himself, loving the feeling of being filled up, but hating when Nite pulled out of him again.

,,Mm, just _look_ at you, all red and dirty,’’ he panted, spreading the troll’s heated cheeks. ,,And _far_ from satisfied, I see,’’ he smirked, grabbing around the troll’s heavy, drooling cock again.

,,No, not yet,’’ he panted. He could _feel_ Nite’s gaze burn on his body, still longing for the human to whip and scratch him until his back was bruised and sore. He _knew_ Nite was aware of how much he wanted it, because he slowly caressed the green skin on the troll’s back.

,,You want me to _paint you_ , right? Plaster you with stripes and bruises, making more of these, beautiful white lines?’’ he whispered, almost entranced as he followed the lines with his fingers.

,, _Yes_ ,’’ he begged. He could feel Nite’s cum leak and run down his balls, dripping onto the bed, as he eagerly tried to position himself better to receive whatever kind of markings his lover wanted to grace him with.

,,… Why do you like them? The scars?’’ he suddenly asked, still tracing the ones there were already there. It was hard to tell, but Seymore could hear a slight sadness in his voice.

,,It’s a troll thing,’’ he said quietly. ,,Trolls form pairs for life. They still tend to sleep with others, but they only mark their life mate. Or, they only _permanently_ mark their life mates. Scratches and bruises are normal, teeth and claw marks too, but having the marks stay? That’s only for someone _special_ to do,’’ he said, looking back at his small lover.

,,… You let me mark you before we were a couple,’’ he noted.

,,Yerh,’’ he smiled, turning around to kiss his beloved again. ,,Regardless of _how_ our relation would play out… I hoped it _would be_ a kind of lifelong thing…’’ he admitted.

,,Even if I would have _never_ kissed you again? Even if I would have _always_ treated you, as I did?’’ he asked concerned. ,,That’s not… _healthy_ …’’

,,No it’s not,’’ he admitted. ,,I don’t think I would recommend others to do as me. I just knew _I_ wanted that. I _longed_ for you, _all_ of this… I _still_ long for you to mark me… Not because I _need_ pain or punishment, it’s not even _about_ that… It’s just natural for me to _want_ that… even when you had _no_ idea that I really _did_ see them as love-marks,’’ he said gently.

Nite’s eyes grew as the troll spoke, but all fear or concern left as he kept explaining. He loved the way he _gently_ looked up at him, full of adoration and trust. Seymore didn’t _need_ him to mark him, but he wanted it just as much as back then. He had never _known_ how much he wanted it, before the first mark had appeared on his shoulder, and how proud and content he felt when he looked at it.

,,Then lay down, love,’’ Nite smiled, the seductiveness back in his voice. Seymore was about to get back on his hands and knees, when the sorcerer stopped him. ,,No. Lay down on your _back_. I don’t need puny _whips_ to mark you, trust me,’’ he smirked, making the troll shudder slightly at the threat in his voice.

It surprised him when he felt the sorcerer’s wet lips around his cock, eagerly sucking him off as if he had no intent on following up on his slight promise. Maybe he would rather wait, Seymore thought, as he leaned back and enjoyed the playful tongue against his cock, tickling his glans and making him whimper in delight. With closed eyes, he let himself sink further into the bed, sighing pleased with the sorcerer’s touches.

He shifted between using his hands and mouth, shifting between teasing and upping the pace, shifting between being soft and slow, or hard and fast. Seymore’s eyes were still closed, making him enjoying every touch even more, his other senses much more aware like this. The troll wouldn’t normally moan loudly, but right now, he felt so sensitive and worked up, that it was hard to even keep his voice down, but it didn’t sound like Nite was displeased with this.

,,My, my, being so loud today, my horny troll?’’ he smirked, jerking him off firmly as he spoke. Seymore nodded and whimpered, not trusting his voice to form a coherent sentence at the moment. ,,You’re getting pretty close, aren’t you? Come on, it’s alright. _Come_ for me, dirty troll, make a _mess_ like the _animal_ you are,’’ he teased.

Seymore felt no hesitations when Nite so _insistently_ demanded him to come, and he let his senses overwhelm as he finally let the orgasm run through him. He had barely shot for the first time, before he felt the human’s teeth on his thigh, _unbearably hard_ , making his eyes fling open as he looked down at the _sheer pleasure_ as Nite kept biting him, _harder_ than he had known were possible for a human. He kept his eyes on his lover, before Seymore felt the slight sting of something that undoubtedly felt like teeth piercing through skin, as he kept coming and whining as the scenario unfolded before his eyes.

Nite only stopped when the troll was done coming. He gently let him go, still looking into the hazy, amber eyes, before both of their gazes shifted down to the wet, red mark on the troll’s thigh. No mark had _ever_ been like this, and he could have never imagined the human really could bite through his skin, but the look of the teeth marks into his thigh was strangely alluring, despite how Nite’s eyes grew with concern at the sight. He had seemed so proud just a second ago, Seymore thought, as he wiped himself clean from cum and sweat.

,, _Fuck_ ,’’ the human muttered, gently tracing the wet, bleeding spot. ,,I… You’re _sure_ you don’t want me to heal that?’’ he asked cautiously.

,,What? _No_. I just need to clean it, so it won’t be infected,’’ he panted. ,,Nite it’s _beautiful_ ,’’ he smiled happily, carefully pulling the sorcerer on top of him as he sat up himself. When he kissed him, he could taste the slight sweetness of his own blood. ,,This is _exactly_ how troll’s mark each other. _My stars_ , you’re so amazing, Willow,’’ he smiled, happy and tired.

It would still send shivers down Nite’s spine every time he used his birthname, but he rarely stopped him from doing so. As promised, he didn’t use it _too_ often, but he found that it seemed to make his lover relax if he had been too caught up in his studies or his own worries. Like a spell, to bring him back to reality. Back to Seymore. He didn’t ask Nite if that was the case, he just trusted that Nite would tell him if he felt discomfort by being called by his birthname.

,,Yerh…’’ he smiled, lazily kissing the troll again. ,,I’m pretty great, aren’t I?’’ he chuckled, melting into the troll’s embrace.

,,You’re the _best_ ,’’ he said gently. The bitemark pounded and felt tight, every time one of them even slightly brushed against it, but he still felt very comfortable and relaxed. ,, _And the best fucking way to start of my day…_ ’’ he growled quietly.

,,Mm, it _was_ a pretty nice way to wake up, after all,’’ he chuckled, gently getting up from the troll’s lap. ,,Come here, love. We need to clean that… And everything else…’’ he said playfully, guiding the troll to the bathroom.

Despite how brutal and cruel Nite could be, he was very careful when he washed the troll afterwards. Aftercare hadn’t been a part of their power play in the past, but now the sorcerer would make sure his beloved was unharmed before letting him do anything else. Seymore really _did_ feel pampered, and even though he had just wanted a morning quickie to start of his day, he was more than content when he came out of the hot bath, his clothes freshly washed and his body much more relaxed than it had been in a while.

Seymore craved pain, almost as much as he craved sex itself. He wasn’t sure when it started, or if it had started off as him just craving to punish himself, but he felt the calmest and most content after Nite had been particular _rough_ with him. He fondly remembered how he used to watch his marks on his back with pride, even before they had started their relationship. Now, he felt the exact same way with the mark on his thigh, only even more strongly.

As time passed, their relation felt as natural and comfortable as he could have only dreamed of. Everything playful and comforting from the past, had overtaken the uncertainty and confusion he had had back then. He didn’t fear Willa’s return. He knew Nite did, as he still hadn’t been able to access his powers correctly, no matter how skilled Seymore saw him as. But he himself looked forward to leave the Greenlight castle, to build their own home somewhere far away from the dry land of Mokar.

It wouldn’t be easy, he knew that. But when he saw how mischievously his lover would get, when they passed each other through their daily activities, just to look at him with the same wonder he had done the first night he had seen the half-naked troll, he didn’t fear it as much. While Nite wasn’t physical skilled, he was very hardworking, and he felt assured that their home would be just as their relation; a little crooked, far from traditional, but full of love.

He didn’t need a ring to prove that, and now, he almost felt certain he wouldn’t miss out on kids, either. Because despite his former wishes, Nite gave him such pure attention and adoration, as if _he_ was something magical, his studious friend _never_ got tired of trying to decipher. He didn’t feel like he was undeserving, either of this kind of love and adoration or of Nite himself, anymore.

But Nite buried himself into his studies again. He searched for something to help him access and contain his new powers, but this was a hard topic to research. There were surprisingly few books about black magic and how to use it. He guessed that made sense, if it was forbidden to use.

It wasn’t as bad as in the past, were the sorcerer would barely let Seymore into the study chamber. This time around, the troll was well aware of what Nite studied and tried to obtain, and there were no secrets or questions necessary. Seymore still brought him food, encouraged him to keep going and kissed him goodnight, when Nite was too enveloped into his studies to go to bed.

He sometimes wondered if Nite would have been just as _obsessive_ , hadn’t it been for the dark mark on his forehead, but he was very well aware that that had likely been the case. It was in his nature to be curious, and it was a learned behavior that only books could quench his curiosity.

It all seemed to spike and die down periodically. When Nite began to go to bed with him at night, he thought his mania had gone down again. But his beloved’s sleep was restless, and he tossed and turned when asleep, looking like he hadn’t rested at all when he woke up. Each night seemed to get worse, but Nite could never remember the nightmares he seemed to have when he woke up.

One night, Seymore woke up by the whimpers of his boyfriend. The sorcerer tossed and turned in his sleep, and it seemed like the troll had no way to comfort him.

He felt as startled and horrified as the first time it had happened; the scream, of pure agony and pain, that filled their bedroom and rang through the corridors. He wasn’t even sure if Nite was awake, but the screams seemed to never stop, before his eyes flung open, panicked and _red_ as the day he came home with the mark plastering his forehead. Then he noticed the dark mark, not only glowing as he had seen before, but illuminating the whole room, making it seem foreign and unfamiliar for the tired troll.

,,Nite? _Nite?!_ What’s wrong, are you awake?’’ Seymore tried, grabbing around the human’s shoulder, but releasing it against instantly. He was _scolding_ hot.

,, _Yes!_ ’’ he screamed through gritted teeth.

,,What’s happening?!’’ he said hastily, moving to give the sorcerer space to sit up, to not touch him again. He wanted to, but he was afraid it hurt Nite just as much as it had hurt himself.

,, _I-I don’t know!_ ’’ he panted, his nails digging into his skull.

,,Are you… Is this like when you were overloaded?’’ he asked. It didn’t look like it had done back then. There was no electric energy, and he hadn’t been hot like this. Nite was _never_ this warm. If anything, he had always been _freezing cold_.

,, _No_ ,’’ he whined. ,, _I don’t think so. It feels like… It feels like it’s tearing at my_ soul,’’ he croaked. The light kept glowing, stronger and stronger, until it was almost blinding. Regardless of the pain, he grabbed onto Nite’s shoulders again, to _at least_ make sure he was still there.

,,It’s okay,’’ he promised, when the red eyes found him through the glow, wide with concern. ,,You feel it too?’’ he asked instead, rubbing the human with his thumbs.

,, _Y-yes_ ,’’ he whimpered, tears dwelling up. He kept looking at the troll, his eyes so full of fear and remorse. ,,… _I did a bad thing…_ ’’ he whispered, but the words felt like knives to his ears.

,,What?’’ he asked, trying to keep himself steady. ,,What did you do?’’ Heavy tears rolled down his cheeks, but he wasn’t sure if they were from sheer pain or his regret.

,, _I called it_ ,’’ he whispered.

,,What? Who? How, we don’t have a ph-,’’ he began, when Nite winched in pain again.

,, _The demon_ ,’’ he croaked. He was still whining and whimpering, when it settled for Seymore, what he really meant.

,,… Why? The spirit _inside of you?_ Why call it _now?_ I thought you wanted to access the powers _yourself_ ,’’ he said confused, still holding tightly around the human’s shoulders.

,, _I… I got stressed out…_ ’’ he admitted. His red eyes flickered, as if something inside him was at war, but otherwise, his body was still. ,, _I don’t have enough time_ ,’’ he whispered begrudgingly. It took a moment, before Seymore understood that he talked about his mother’s return. But there were still _months_ until her arrival home.

,,Nite, we have _lots_ of time,’’ he tried to assure him.

,, _No we don’t_ ,’’ he whined. ,, _No matter how much I read, nothing makes sense. I don’t have enough_ time! _She’ll be back, she’ll be_ furious _, I need to-,_ ’’ he tried, but then he cramped up again.

,,Look at me,’’ he begged when Nite didn’t open his eyes again. ,,I know it hurts, but stay with me. I’m _here_ , I don’t go anywhere. But I need you to look at me,’’ he said as gently as he could. His heart raced much faster than it should, making him fear to pass out, but he _needed_ to stay calm, he reminded himself. When Nite finally looked at him again, he sighed with relief, even if the eyes looking at him still were red.

_Fool…_

The voice rang cold through the room, but it seemed to come out of nowhere. Seymore had _never_ heard anything like that before, whispery and loud at once, deep and stern, but hazy at the same time. When he looked back at Nite, it looked like he didn’t notice the troll anymore, but it didn’t make him seem less terrified.

,, _I just need more time_ ,’’ he hissed between gritted teeth. ,, _You are_ no _help at all!_ ’’ he scolded, but another jolt of pain shot through him, it seemed.

,,Who’s that?’’ Seymore whispered hastily, startling his small lover. Nite looked confused, and for the first time since he awoke, he didn’t look pained, anymore, but he looked just as horrified.

,,… You can hear it…?’’ he asked breathily. Seymore nodded, shaking when a cold roar of laughter went through the room.

,,Who _is_ that, Nite?’’ he asked again, more panicky this time. For all the time he had spent around magic, and for how far he’d come with accepting being surrounded by it, _this_ was a fear he had seldomly felt before.

_Both fools… You told he would not be trouble…_

,,He won’t!’’ Nite protested. Another jolt of pain ran through him, and this time, he yanked himself loose of the troll’s tight grip. ,,You _said_ I could have him! He was _the only one_ I wanted for myself!’’ he shouted, much louder than necessary.

_TO PUNISH…!_

The voice roared, with a force strong enough to push both of them in each their direction. Seymore kept laying on the bed, frozen to the place as Nite stubbornly sat up again. The purple light seemed to have no end, and the troll closed his eyes in defeat.

,,I don’t _want that_ anymore!’’ the human roared, with such anger and vigor through his pain. ,, _You_ were to serve _me!_ You told me I was _strong!_ You told me I had _powers beyond belief! Help me access them, worthless demon!_ ’’ he spat out.

_SILENCE…!_

Everything went black behind Seymore’s eyelids. At first, he thought he had fainted, but he was still awake. When he opened his eyes again, the light had faded. Nite still sat up, sweating and breathing heavily.

,,… Why can I hear your spirit?’’ Seymore asked quietly, as if he tried not to let it hear him, even though he knew it very well could.

,,I don’t know,’’ he admitted.

_The son of Mokar has softness in his heart… I need him fearless… Ruthless… No space for common trolls…_

,,… That’s a bit _rude_ , don’t you think?’’ the troll said, a lot more confidently than he really felt. Nite nearly gasped, not looking too sure of the troll’s tactic at this point. ,,I mean, _considering_ he wants to create a more _peaceful_ , less _racist_ world, I don’t really feel this is the _vibe_ to go for, oh spirit of darkness,’’ he scoffed.

,,Seymore _stop_ ,’’ Nite begged, looking apologetic up at his lover. He was about to answer, when the voice rang through the room again, with the same, cold laughter.

_Is that what he told you…?_

The words hang in the air, uncomfortably, but as he looked upon the small man, he was all too aware that the words held some truth to them. Nite didn’t look in pain, anymore, but his fear was noticeable, even through the now dark room.

,,… Yes,’’ Seymore said slowly, never taking his amber eyes away from the human. ,,… I guess… it’s not the case…’’ he concluded.

_The world will burn at the feet of the firstborn… With or without my help…_

,,… How do I stop that?’’ he said, still looking directly at Nite. He wasn’t sure, but it almost looked like he was sobbing again.

_You cannot… It is bound to be…_

,,You’ll not get him,’’ he said without hesitation. He slowly grabbed around the long, fair hands. Cold as ice again. ,,I will not let you,’’ he said determined, kissing the long fingers. Even though his façade was confident, he still felt shaky, and he could tell Nite noticed as he held around the human’s hands.

 _Oh, troll… Sweet, stupid troll… It is I, who is at the mercy of the Greenlight at the castle… Tell me, oh honorable troll: Do you_ really _believe his lies?_

,,Stop it!’’ Nite hissed, closing his eyes again. The voice laughed again, as Seymore tried to collect his thoughts.

,,… No,’’ he finally said. The human’s eyes flung open, scared and all too aware of the situation again. ,,He is bound to create great destruction, is what you tell me? I… I believe you… But it doesn’t matter… _I won’t let him kill and destroy_ ,’’ he said, growling the last part, a strange sense of possession running through him, startling the human. ,,I chose to stay, long ago. You cannot hurt me, you’re _bound_ not to hurt me… And I won’t let him go… He’s not yours to take…’’ he said, gently squeezing the human’s hands, as he had done millions of times before.

_You cannot save him…_

,,Then I won’t,’’ he said, as calmly as his breath would let him. ,,But I won’t _allow_ you to use this spirit to cause havoc… I _know_ you, you _don’t_ want the world to end. You want _everyone_ to look at you, and they _will_ , but not like _this_ , Willow,’’ he whispered gently, startling the sorcerer again.

_… The seer put too much trust in you…_

,,… Ava?’’ he asked confused. But this time, no answer came. Nite seemed frozen, just staring down at their hands. ,,… Why did it go? Why could I _hear it?_ ’’ he asked confused, finally calming down. But Nite didn’t answer any of his questions. He just tumbled into the troll’s embrace.

,,… Don’t be mad,’’ he begged. Seymore hesitated, before putting his arms around him.

,,… I’m not mad,’’ he settled on. ,,I’m _scared_ , Nite. You’re so _reckless_.’’

,,I know,’’ he said shakenly. ,,But it’s true… It’s not a lie, that I want to reform the world…’’ he tried.

,,But at what _cost?_ ’’ he asked, a little less gentle. ,,… For the price of the whole world? When is it _enough_ , Nite? The world doesn’t need to be _perfect_ ,’’ he said softly.

,,There’s no _space_ for me in this world,’’ he whispered. ,,It’s not the demon. The demon is _right_. _I’m_ using it. I need its powers, I _crave_ them…’’ he said, trying to steady himself again.

,,I know,’’ the troll said, shushing him slightly. ,,But you’re not _evil_. I won’t _allow_ you to be evil…’’ he whispered.

,,Seymore, I’m _insane_ ,’’ he said quietly, startling the older man. ,,I _need_ to get a hold of these powers… Otherwise I _will_ become… I will…’’ he stammered.

,,… But what if you _do?_ What if that _breaks you?_ ’’ he said, leaning his face again the small man’s head. ,,Don’t leave me. I know I ask for too much, but… _Please_ , stay with me…’’ he whispered.

,,… I will,’’ he promised, all too slow.

,,No lies,’’ he begged. ,,You need to be _honest_ with me, Nite. You want to recreate the world? That’s fine. I… I don’t _understand_ , I can’t _help you_ , but I won’t go anywhere, I promise… _Please_ , at least _tell me_ what you plan for this world…’’ The sorcerer hesitated again, before he squeezed the troll a little tighter, as if he feared it would be the last time.

,,… What I want is… for you, not to hate me…’’ he said slowly. ,,And that… doesn’t fit well, with my plans for the rest of the world…’’ he admitted. ,,I am not afraid to be a _dictator_ or despised. I want the world to _see_ that _I_ alone, born from unknown, born to _destroy_ , can _create_. I _want_ the world I’ve read about. I want to make _sense_ in the chaos… that is _me_ … But you’ll want to talk me out of it, or you’ll _leave_ , because this is _exactly_ the _problem_ with me!’’ he whined, finally looking up at the troll again.

Seymore felt sad and tired, not sure how to answer. But Nite had granted him insight, and hopefully, that was enough for him to choose _goodness_.

,,I won’t leave,’’ he said firmly. ,,I want to bargain with you,’’ he said instead, surprising the small man in front of him again.

,,What?’’ he asked confused.

,,… I want to know when and how, when you go about your plans. And I want you to _promise me_ that you won’t kill anyone. _Create_ the world you read about. Be _revolutionary_. Let me _guide you_ , for a bit longer,’’ he begged.

Nite hesitated again, but didn’t let go of the troll. Seymore didn’t want Nite to feel dependent on him, lost if he wasn’t around. But he simply just couldn’t let tell tales or evil spirits corrupt his beloved. He didn’t want that, neither for himself nor his small, uncertain lover.

,,Don’t make promises, you can’t keep,’’ he finally said, when Nite hadn’t replied. This seemed to wake him up.

,,… I’ll let you guide me,’’ he said slowly, but he still seemed unsure. ,,… Your life… will _never_ be quiet and _simple_ with me, Seymore…’’ he warned him.

,,… If that’s my curse, I’ll take it,’’ he smiled. ,,I’m a part of you, like you’re a part of me. And I won’t let anything happen to you, if I can avoid it. Not even yourself,’’ he said, gently caressing his cheek. He was still wet, from sweat and tears, but neither of them pulled away from the touch.

,,… I didn’t mean for any of this… I… I thought I didn’t _start out_ , like this, but… maybe I did…?’’ he said slowly. Seymore remembered every warning Willa had given him in the past, about what Nite could and would do, about destruction and fear. He had tried to push it away, fearing it was the truth, but even if he knew it somehow _was_ the case… he still wanted it to be tell tales. He still wanted to lead him in another direction.

,, _I love you. I do sometimes_ fear _you, I always fear_ for _you, but much greater than that… is my love… I can’t stop you. I never can, I never will… But I want to live in a world, where we’re together, you and I_ ,’’ he growled quietly. ,,You need a way to control your powers and keep the spirit at bay. You _told me_ dark magic doesn’t have to be evil. Then _please_ , don’t use it for such,’’ he begged.

,,It doesn’t matter,’’ he croaked. ,,It’ll be seen that way, anyway. How many _good_ people have started a war? How many _sane_ people have wanted to unite Aenamo?’’ he asked, mostly to himself.

,,One,’’ he whispered, kissing the sorcerer’s forehead. ,,I _want_ to help you, Nite.’’

,,You can’t.’’ His eyes seemed less red now, but he wasn’t sure if it was due to the darkness. ,,If I’m born to destruction, then _how_ can I _fight_ that?’’ he asked carefully.

,,… You weren’t born to _love_. You _let yourself_ love. Don’t cut me off now. If I can’t help you, then _please_ , just let me _stay_ with you,’’ he said quietly.

,,I wanted you because you made me _feel_ something other than broken,’’ he said hastily. ,,You didn’t look like you _hated_ me, you made me feel like it was _okay_ that I was… I was _here_. What if I _don’t know_ what love is? What if I _really_ just am… selfish?’’ he said, his eyes big and fearful again. He had once asked this before, but now, he seemed much more nervous that this was the case.

,,… Then I’m selfish, too,’’ he said, slowly guiding the man down on the bed. Nite was too caught up in his own thoughts, and neither of them could think clearly. His hands still felt sore, but it didn’t seem to matter when the sorcerer clung to him. ,,Let me love you, Willow. That’s all I ask for,’’ he begged, leaning in over him to kiss the quivering, pale lips. Tender and soft, slow, promising nothing else mattered in the moment.

,,Don’t go,’’ he begged against the green lips, before clinging to them again.

,,I won’t,’’ he promised. He didn’t fear the promise as much as he knew he should.

,,Don’t stop kissing me,’’ he whispered, slightly parting his lips when the troll dived back for more. He could almost taste the tears, as his tongue danced against his lovers.

,,I won’t,’’ he panted, leaning a little more of his body on top of the humans. Seymore slept naked, and was all too aware that he couldn’t hide anything. And while his mind was tired and confused, his body sore and anxious, he still felt the familiar warmth creep closer as Nite so dearly hung onto his lips. ,,Nite, I…’’ he tried, but the small man held onto his shoulders, slowly grinding his body against Seymore’s heavier frame.

,,No, no, it’s okay,’’ he assured him, trying to glide his hands down his lover’s body, but the troll stopped him.

,,I don’t think this is the right time…’’ he said apologetic. ,,We’re both tired and a little worked up. I don’t want to… cause problems…’’ he said slowly.

,, _Please_ ,’’ he begged, still clinging tightly to the troll. ,,I need… comfort… I need to know that you still… That you _really_ still want me…’’ he admitted, closing his eyes again.

,,We don’t have to have sex for me to want you,’’ he said gently. ,,I do want you. I want to help and hold and _love_ you,’’ he said quietly.

,,I _need_ to _feel_ you,’’ he pleaded, his eyes still closed. ,,I just need to feel I have _some_ other purpose than… _this_ …’’ he said, finally looking up at the troll, with the same, deep mahogany eyes he knew and loved. ,,I feel safe, close to you,’’ he whispered, kissing the troll again.

He hesitated for a moment, before he let his hand down the human’s side, feeling the soft fabric of his underwear. He gently tucked them aside, feeling how his body ached when his fingers wandered over the sorcerer’s awaiting asshole, spread-out, but tight, too tight to even tease.

,,You’re tense,’’ he mumbled, removing his hand.

,,Then lube me up…’’ he panted eagerly, but the troll shook his head.

,,I don’t think your body is ready, right now,’’ he tried gently.

,, _I want you_ ,’’ he growled, gently tucking in the troll’s body. ,, _I want to feel your skin against mine. I want to feel alive, I want to feel_ real _,_ ’’ he growled, pulling of his underwear completely, spreading himself out. He could feel the small man’s hand against his cock, gently guiding him forward, as the slick precum rubbed against the tight hole. ,,Make love to me,’’ he panted, his voice strangely low and husky. It wasn’t a question, and it wasn’t a plea.

,,It’ll hurt, like this,’’ he whispered. He wasn’t even sure if Nite was aware how hard it made him to be _begged_ for like this, but he feared the sorcerer would regret this later on.

,, _Please_ ,’’ he begged again. Nite still had a firm grip around his cock, gently guiding him forward. ,,This has _always_ been our default. I _need_ to know you still want me, like this,’’ he panted, trying to get the stiff cock inside himself.

It was clear how frustrated and desperate he got, but Seymore knew the sorcerer’s body was as tired and sore as his own. He knew he _desperately_ tried to make up for his self-destructive behavior, by offering his very being to the troll, as he had done to the spirit in other ways.

Seymore leaned further down, trapping the small man underneath him, so he could hardly even wiggle around, but he didn’t slide in. He just held around his small, sobbing boyfriend, caressing his shoulders and back.

,,I want you, too,’’ he promised him. ,,But I don’t want you to _punish_ yourself, to make up for your chaotic being. It’s not going to vanish, just because we fuck. And it doesn’t have to,’’ he said gently, feeling the thin arms tighten around his shoulders. ,,Sex is not payment for me tolerating you, Nite. It never was. Please tell me, you know that,’’ he whispered.

,,… I do,’’ he sobbed. ,,I feel cold and empty,’’ he muttered. ,,… I know this… All of _this_ , doesn’t go away… and you say you’re not angry with me, but… I _still_ want you, _so much_ … And I’m _so_ scared,’’ he said, sobbing again.

The troll let his hand down the small man’s body, lifting him slightly and positioning himself in one fluid motion. Without Nite further begging, he gently as could be, slid into his boyfriend, just the slightest, still holding him tightly in his embrace.

,,Don’t be scared,’’ the troll whispered, kissing his lover’s forehead. ,,Tell me to stop,’’ he said, almost hoping he would, but it didn’t seem like it was his lovers intention.

,,No, no, it’s all good,’’ he panted, looking up at the troll’s scared, amber eyes. ,,I know… that you don’t want to hurt me… and you’re not… I just… I need to _relax_ , _by Am you’re big_ , and I… I just need you close to me…’’ he panted. He felt _tighter_ than usual, but there had been _no_ foreplay either, so he wasn’t that surprised. If anything, he was surprised this was even possible without his lover screaming.

,,I love you,’’ he whispered gently to the man in his embrace. His movements were slow and rhythmic, and it really did seem like Nite calmed down by the second.

He couldn’t lie and say, that the sorcerer’s chaotic nature had no effect. He couldn’t say he _loved_ that Nite fiddled with dark magic, or that he _hoped_ his lover became the strongest sorcerer known to this and other worlds. But he still loved the man, and more than anything, he really _did_ hope, for once, that love was all they needed to survive.

,,I love you too,’’ he sobbed against the green lips. As soon as Seymore wanted to pull away, he yanked him back on top of him. ,,Don’t go,’’ he begged again. ,,I’ll tell if it hurts, _I promise_ ,’’ he whispered.

It didn’t look like the small man was in any pain, despite his tears. Seymore knew his lover’s noises well, and despite whatever turmoil going on in their minds, he knew Nite well enough to _know_ that he would stop him, if he really didn’t want this. But his lover was overwhelmed with emotions, and the tears just gently rolled down his cheeks, even if it was very clear for the troll that he still liked the touch of his beloved.

He held him tenderly, moved slowly, and kissed him longingly. The sobs stopped, and he could feel the human’s body relax as they kept going. He didn’t need it rough. He didn’t _want_ it rough. He wanted to caress and kiss every inch of the tortured man in his arms, to let him know, that despite whatever the spirit tried to convince him, Seymore would stay. Right _here_ , or where ever else, as long as he could hold those gentle, cold hands, and kiss those pale, thin lips, that without words begged him to not stop.

,,Look at me,’’ the troll begged, smiling gently as Nite opened his eyes, still so very close to the older man. ,,You’re so pretty, baby,’’ he mumbled, kissing him again. ,, _All mine_ ,’’ he growled, the strange sensation of possessiveness over him again.

,, _All yours_ ,’’ he growled back. ,,And you’re _mine_ ,’’ he added, letting his hands wander down the troll’s heavy body.

,,I am,’’ he assured him. Nite had always had an attitude of _‘us against the world’_ , but now that they were finally together, he seemed to cling to all the doubts Seymore had had in the past. He couldn’t help but wonder, if it was due to their history, or that damned spirit. ,,It’s not too heavy?’’ he asked gently, suddenly realizing how much of his weight he rested on his small lover.

,,No,’’ he panted. ,,It’s _perfect_ ,’’ he whispered, grinding his body against the weight on top of him. Seymore had always preferred Nite on top of him, fearing to squish the small human body, but this seemed to be _exactly_ how Nite wanted it. ,,I want to feel like this, _always,_ ’’ he said, bitterly longing for the closeness, he feared to lose again.

,,Me too,’’ he panted, covering them with the blankets, as to emerge them further into the warmth and softness. ,,You make me feel _so_ good, baby. This is _so good_ ,’’ he panted, enjoying being this close to his beloved.

,,… I want to be good…’’ he whispered, his nails digging into the troll’s shoulders. It took him a moment to figure out that his lover was talking to himself again, but he didn’t stop, as it didn’t seem to disturb him. ,,… Why can’t I _just_ be good?’’ he whispered, before the troll leaned in to kiss him again.

He didn’t answer. He wanted to _keep_ believing that Nite wasn’t _evil_ , that he _could_ be good, at least. He didn’t need to be perfect; no one was. All he wanted was for them to be together and safe.

With gentle hands, he began to touch the stiff cock between the sorcerer’s legs. Had he been in doubt before if Nite really _was_ into it, he wasn’t anymore, as his moans got louder and his body jerked more violently against his own. He was still tighter than he had felt in a while, clearly still worked up about the whole ordeal with his spirit. If he made Nite come, he wouldn’t be able to hold up that much longer himself.

He hadn’t thought that the softness and the warmth of the situation would be such a turn on. He didn’t _mind_ being gentle, but he hadn’t expected it to feel this intense. He wanted Nite to feel every bit of warmth and love, almost melting together with his dear boyfriend.

Nite held up better than he expected. He wasn’t sure if it was because he was tired and confused, but regardless of that, he moaned and whimpered, grinded and clung to the troll’s lips, just as intensely as he usually did.

,,I wanna come…’’ he whimpered, kissing the troll again, moaning into the kiss as Seymore began to jerk him off a little firmer. ,,It’s so good… Please, _please_ , Seymore…’’ he begged, his body shaking slightly.

,, _So tight. Such a good boy_ ,’’ he growled, fucking him just the slightest more intensely. ,, _Fuck_ , you’re so pretty. You’re so good _to me_ ,’’ he mumbled, feeling the sorcerer jitter in his embrace. But he didn’t come. He just kept whimpering and moaning, chanting delightfully as Seymore touched him, his hand covered in precum. ,, _Come for me, love. I wanna feel you clench around me, before I fill you up_ ,’’ he growled, drowning the sorcerer’s moans against his lips, and Nite finally seemed to tip over the edge, much more violently than he had thought he would.

He almost came as violently as Nite himself did, even though it all had felt so gentle and warm up until now. It took him a good minute before he really registered anything around him again. By how quiet Nite was, he almost thought he had fallen right asleep, but the small man just laid underneath him, still clinging to his arms.

,,Thank you,’’ the sorcerer whispered, much more calm and relaxed this time. ,,I love you, I really do,’’ he smiled, his eyes closed and his breath still slightly unsteady. ,,I… I’m sorry I keep making things… _hard_ …’’

,,I love you too, my sweet, troubled, gentle, little Willow,’’ he sighed happily, kissing his forehead. The mark didn’t glow, and for a moment, it really just felt like it had done, before the mark was ever a part of Nite. ,,Let me help you,’’ he begged again.

,,… I don’t think you can,’’ he said, but much less dismissively this time. ,,The thing is, Seymore, I don’t want to talk about… what’s going on, inside my head. Because I _know_ you won’t like it… Because I _fear_ you’ll get scared away, and I… I’m _selfish_ , I _need_ you…’’ he said, pleadingly looking up at his lover.

,,It’s my fault,’’ he said, a pained expression across his face. ,,I scared you off. Because of my own fears…’’ he said, slipping out and moving to lay beside the human instead. Nite nuzzled up against his body, still clinging so tightly to him, as if he feared he would leave if he didn’t. And really, he couldn’t blame him. ,,I want to help you. I don’t believe in true evil, and I don’t believe _you_ are truly evil. Maybe because I don’t want to? Maybe because I’m too blinded to see it,’’ he wondered for himself.

,,What if I can’t be helped?’’ he whispered.

,,… Then I’ll try, anyway,’’ he said gently. ,,I don’t believe in destiny. But I _do_ believe you’re very strong, and very confused. And I don’t think that always mixes well together,’’ he said. ,,And I can’t help you much. I don’t know anything about magic, outside of what you’ve told me. But you need something to keep your powers at bay, and some way to control them, _regardless_ of how you want to use them.’’

,,I know,’’ he said quietly. ,,But it’s hard to get a _teacher_ , for this. _Especially_ when I can’t access my powers correctly. It’s like… Like there’s too much power. And I don’t think I should be able to _stop_ the process, but I get _scared_ , like I’m afraid I’ll lose myself,’’ he admitted.

,,It’s okay,’’ he assured him. ,,I _want_ to handle it, Nite. Even if I get scared, I still want to _be there_ , with you,’’ he said gently. The small man nodded against his chest, but didn’t answer otherwise.

Seymore would always wonder, if their relation in itself wasn’t a little selfish. Nite wanted Seymore, because he made him feel good and safe, but the feeling was mutual. He never doubted the sorcerer’s interest in him, and there were lots of things he absolutely _adored_ about Nite, that hadn’t anything to do with either of them being selfish. At this point, he could hardly imagine a life without his lover, even if it would be nothing like simple again.

,,Get some sleep, my love. We’ll talk more about it later. I won’t get tired of hearing about things, and I won’t leave, even if I get scared, I promise,’’ he said, gently closing the small man’s eyes.

,,I just need something that can steady myself… Something like this, but… magic…’’ he mumbled against the troll’s chest.

Seymore really wished he could _be_ whatever Nite needed. He wished he had all the answers, and he wished he knew _exactly_ what to tell him, to make it all seem better. Despite his own fears, that _he_ had somewhat broken Nite and made him cold and hard, it seemed like that hadn’t been a problem at all. Now, he just needed to concentrate on helping his lover, with the trauma he had handled alone for _years_ at this point. His problems didn’t stem from the spirit, he had to admit that. If anything, Willa _had_ been somewhat right, that something wasn’t right with her son, but what it exactly was, the troll couldn’t say for sure.

Nite’s snores filled the room shortly after, but Seymore didn’t feel tired, anymore. He had millions of questions, his lover neither could or wanted to explain. Mostly about the spirit, he for some reason could hear. He wasn’t sure he was supposed to be able to do that.

Seymore didn’t dare to get up, afraid what Nite would think if he woke up alone. Although it seemed like a hopeless effort, he wanted to dig through all the libraries the castle held, because _surely,_ some book would be of help. He just didn’t know which, or if he would even be able to read it, if he was to find it.

Taming Nite’s powers was only part of it. He believed Nite, that he had always felt at war with himself, even before the spirit had ever granted him powers. But he was also sure that this didn’t _help_ him to choose a lighter path. He wanted to believe that Nite could be powerful and revolutionary, without being _evil_ , but… If he was wrong…

He had meant it, when he had told Nite he couldn’t be with him, if his path led to death and destruction. And somewhere deep inside, he still _knew_ he had to let go, if that was the case. He knew no one else than Nite could change or choose his path for him, but what if Ava hadn’t talked about _him_ , when she had visited him that night? What if she meant that Seymore could _help_ Nite to choose goodness? But what if she had meant that _Nite_ would choose against it? He would never be able to get answers for any of those questions, because Ava had been gone for years, and he wouldn’t know how to even _find_ her.

More than ever, he knew that Willa held answers he needed. But he _knew_ she wouldn’t give them to him, willingly. _Especially_ not if her fury would wake, when she realized that Seymore had ruined her plans on marrying her son away…


	25. 25) Pain

Seymore was sweet and gentle. Much more gentle than he had ever felt before. There were no hesitations in his words or touches, and the sheer calmness that oozed from him would have alarmed him, if he didn’t know _exactly_ why he acted like this; he was scared.

Scared of that damned demon, that just _couldn’t_ time its arrival right. Scared of whatever it was, that made Nite feel so chaotic all that time. For some reason, he was scared of losing the sorcerer…

Nite didn’t like that thought. He had longed for the troll to look at him, _exactly_ like this, but now, he couldn’t really enjoy it. And despite how much he wanted to, he couldn’t explain to his beloved troll _why_ he couldn’t enjoy it.

Ever since that night, when he woke up screaming and in pain, the demon had stayed with him. It pained him to touch Seymore, but not as much as it pained him to be apart from him. The demon would _mock_ him, saying he was _weak_ or saying that Seymore stayed out of _pity_ for him. But it never spoke when the troll was around, and he guessed it was because it somehow feared Seymore. It feared the simple fact, that Seymore seemed to be the only thing on his mind, that could distract him from his desires of world domination.

He often wondered _when_ this _intense desire_ had started. It wasn’t with the demon, that was clear, but he had always _thought_ of it as something pure, to _better_ the world, _not_ destroy it. He wondered if the demon had set his desires free, made him see it _clearly_ , for once? All the times he had defended his ideas and ideals to Fae, had been truthful, or so he had thought. But maybe her proposal of havoc had spiked an interest he hadn’t really noticed, before.

Fae. She had written to him, that very night he and Seymore _finally_ became lovers. He had told the troll that the letter was from his mother, because at that point, Seymore didn’t know much about Fae. And every time he spoke about her, his lover’s eyes got a little worried, without the troll even noticing himself. He simply never cared to tell him now.

She had escaped, just as he himself had. She didn’t apologize for their last encounter, she didn’t even explain it. He guessed she knew she didn’t have to. He already knew her mother were pulling the strings.

The letter had been short. It didn’t reveal her location, but she said it didn’t have to. When time would come, he would find her. He didn’t _want_ to find Fae. If he never saw her again, his life wouldn’t be more miserable, he had thought angrily. He _hated_ that she just _assumed_ that he would team up with her, in her own wicked plans for this world.

He still didn’t know if Fae had somehow planted the book in his bag. She didn’t tell, if it was her. He couldn’t _believe_ it had been his mother, and no one else knew of the book. It was _possible_ for it to find him itself, but the demon wouldn’t tell him if that was the case, either.

He didn’t tell Seymore that the pain was back. Every touch from his loved one was _worth it_ , and he knew Seymore would likely stop touching him as much if he knew it hurt the sorcerer. And more than anything else, he didn’t want his beloved to stop touching him.

Seymore had stopped working, it seemed. Regardless, he spent all his time with Nite, trying to help him look through books, he knew the troll could hardly understand or read. But even if it more likely hindered Nite’s studies, that his mind always wandered off to the troll instead, he still preferred it this way; Seymore by his side, taking many more breaks than they needed, and finding little to no solution at all.

,,Say again,’’ the troll said, nuzzling up against the smaller man, after they had merely started their research, ,,why did you stop wearing your old sweaters?’’ he asked, gently caressing the pale, blue shirt. Even through the fabric, the touch stung, but not as badly when he looked at the troll’s gentle smile.

,,I… don’t know,’’ he shrugged. ,,I didn’t wear them at the circle, and when I came back… I was just a different person,’’ he said slowly. ,,And I know that you… Well, you _like_ this, right? You always complimented my clothes, when it wasn’t just my sweaters,’’ he said, almost shyly.

,,I didn’t _dislike_ the sweaters,’’ he smiled, still sitting so very close. ,,But… You’re right, you look very elegant, like this. I never knew how much clothes you had, before you began wearing them,’’ he said. Clearly, the troll’s mind wasn’t at books or magic right now, but Nite didn’t complain. He liked when the troll’s eyes only were at him.

,,My mother always made sure I had a lot of clothes. And as I don’t grow much, they’ve fitted for a long time. I still have _loads_ of shirts I’ve never used,’’ he said. Nite didn’t care much about clothes. He liked how the silky-smooth fabric _felt_ on his body, but it didn’t stretch as much, and it was easier to ruin. On more than one occasion, Seymore had, either by accident or on purpose, ripped his clothes beyond repair, if the mood had been a little too heated. ,,I made the sweaters myself, because they were more comfortable and warm.’’

,,That makes sense,’’ he said, his voice a littler lower, right beside his ear. ,, _But fancy clothes aren’t all, you know? Sooner or later, you’ll end up naked again_ ,’’ he growled, gently kissing the slightly exposed neck. Most of Nite’s shirts had high collars. But it was easy enough to reach naked skin, if Seymore angled his face correctly, or if Nite craned his neck by instinct.

Nite wasn’t _turned on_ by pain, normally. This pain, was different though. It wasn’t sexual, but in some sense, it was very _sensual_ , because it felt the worst, when Seymore was being his gentlest. The sorcerer could carry the burden of pain, if it meant that the troll’s hands and lips would grace him so gently, like only he would.

,, _You’re not that into books today, my_ dear _troll_ ,’’ he growled, gently laying down in the big, pillow-like chair in his mother’s hidden library. Seymore took the bait instantly, getting up from his own chair, leaning in over him, kissing him so longingly as had they been apart for weeks or months, but it was only mere hours since they had kissed each other last.

,, _I’m into_ you,’’ he growled against the thin lips. ,,Sorry, I know we have to read… and we will, and we _have_ … But I just… The more time I’m around you, the more I want to _be_ around you,’’ he whispered softly, before kissing him again.

He could _feel_ the demon tuck in his body, silently _mocking_ him for letting himself overwhelm by sweet words, and being _manhandled_ by a _lowlife_ creature like a troll. Nite scolded it, _begging_ that Seymore couldn’t hear it, neither the demon or his own thoughts, that more than he liked often times spilled out into the real world.

,,It’s okay,’’ he panted against the green lips. ,,I don’t want it to be _all_ we do, to look through dusty books. You know I want you, just as much, right?’’ he said quietly, as the amber eyes found his gaze again.

,,… I know that… But you’ve seen beside yourself, for weeks now. And… it makes sense… I know _everything_ about this is scary and overwhelming… But I don’t want you any less, Nite. I _really_ enjoy this, that I’m _allowed_ to be with you, even when you study like this,’’ he smiled calmly. He was still leaning over his small partner, but it didn’t feel suffocating. If anything, Nite really _did_ feel alive when they were like this; so close, so tender, and everything he had wanted back when he fell in love with his sweet, gentle troll.

,,Yerh, I haven’t really been… _myself_ , for a while,’’ he tried. He then looked around, before leaning up to whisper in the troll’s ear: ,,… Do you remember the first time we came here?’’ he asked instead.

,,Of course,’’ he smiled, his eyes darkening the slightest. He liked this look; the way Seymore looked at him, as if he was a treat only for him. And really, he sometimes felt like that. Even if he still got ideas or _desires_ beyond what the troll could be able to do, it was hard to imagine himself feel this excited, about anything else than his beloved’s eyes on him. ,,I also remember how we _came_ here, not that long after,’’ he chuckled, making Nite whine with frustration.

,,You’re _horrible_ ,’’ he chuckled, kissing the troll’s forehead. Seymore was quiet for a moment, before he smiled to the human again.

,,… I remember how much I wanted to _kiss_ you that day… I think that was one of the first times, I’ve really thought about that. You just sat there, looking like… you thought _the world of me_ , and I… I still didn’t know what to think of the whole situation,’’ he admitted, hiding his face in the crook of Nite’s neck. Even through the pain, it felt strangely safe. ,,That was probably the best birthday I ever had,’’ he whispered gently.

,,Really?’’ he croaked, feeling his throat tighten a little. ,,… Even better than _chasing chickens?_ ’’ he asked, a mixture between a chuckle and a choke, from how overwhelmed he suddenly felt.

,,Even better than that,’’ he said, the smile audible in his voice. ,,It was so _simple_ , but even though I didn’t really understood it back then… You really _did_ put all of your knowledge about me into that day. Every little thing you knew and hoped I would like… It made me really happy back then too, but when I think back on it… It almost makes it better,’’ he said gently, kissing the pale neck again.

,,… Well, I, ahm… It was _hard_ to find a present for you… I _never_ gave my mother anything, because when I was younger, she never really seemed to care for the things I created for her,’’ he admitted, thinking back on all the ugly drawings or wonky creations of metal he had tried to gift to her. ,,The best present I could give her, were alone time…’’ he muttered.

,,The best present you can give _me_ , is being here _with_ me,’’ he assured him, gently moving to kiss him again. It felt good, he _felt_ wanted. Like he could finally _see_ that he was Seymore’s whole, wide world. But the demon still taunted him, telling him what he _really_ was after weren’t his naïve, young mind, but rather what he had feared, back then too.

,,… Why didn’t you kiss me, back then, if you really wanted to? Why didn’t you kiss me when I _asked_ about kissing? I had barely heard of the concept before I read that novel, I didn’t know that it was something… I was supposed to even _want_ ,’’ he admitted, looking up at the familiar, safe eyes. ,,But after that… I really wanted you to kiss me… I really wanted it to _feel_ like the books described it…’’ he whispered.

,,How did they describe it?’’ he asked, ignoring the other questions.

,,… Like magic. Like everything would make _sense_ , sparkles would fly, and they felt… whole…’’ he said softly. It was clear to see the troll’s cheeks heat, but it also felt like his breath became a little shallower.

,,… And did it feel like all that, to you?’’ he whispered gently.

,, _Yes_ ,’’ he panted, gently grabbing around the troll’s broad arms. His skin felt like needles, but if Seymore felt the pain as he, he didn’t show it. ,,It felt like that ever since, too,’’ he said, welcoming the thin, green lips on his own, as the troll firmly guided the kiss. His tongue caressed his, making him moan slightly, whimpering when the teeth scraped his lips.

He didn’t lie. When he had _finally_ kissed Seymore, everything felt like he had read about; the world stopped spinning, and every ounce of doubt he had had, if he _really_ liked the troll or not, had vanished. He wanted nothing more than to sit in the cramped basement chamber, kissing _his_ troll forever, if time would just stop turning for an eternity. An _eternity_ wouldn’t be enough for him, but he could only be so greedy.

Just like back then, with their very first kiss, this felt just as healing and heated. He couldn’t know how Seymore had felt back then, but his lips felt needy and longing, familiar yet greedy, and his body just as warm to cling on to.

,,I didn’t kiss you back then, because I was scared,’’ he finally said between kisses. ,,I was scared of how much I liked you. I was scared to get hurt again,’’ he admitted, before leaning down to the sorcerer’s neck again. His lips were wet, and his teeth a little less gentle this time. ,,You called me your friend. And I had rarely been so _happy_ and confused as in that moment…’’ he said, his hands sneaking underneath the silky shirt.

He could feel the troll’s bulge against his leg. Even just like this; kissing and softly touching each other, he was able to make his lover so _excited_. And even though the warm hands felt _burning_ on his skin, he still wanted to be naked and rubbing up against the troll’s heavy body.

,,Sit down,’’ Nite ordered him, trying to gain a little control of the situation. Seymore obliged, although less willing than he usually did. He flopped down into his former seat, as Nite straddled him with the same seductiveness he knew would make the troll even more excited. ,,Have I been _neglecting_ my poor, little troll?’’ he purred, grinding against the hard bulge in his pants. The troll whimpered excitedly, but he wasn’t bold enough to nod.

He liked to be on top. He liked to be in charge. Regarding all things in general, but Seymore wasn’t an exception. He liked how _easily_ he could get his beloved to twist and turn, and how _helplessly_ turned on he would get at the slightest promise of being teased and yanked around.

,,You’re _awfully_ clothed, love,’’ he purred, opening his shirt himself. ,,Looks to me like you feel a little _trapped_ ,’’ he smirked, standing up to undress, as the troll, not as elegantly, did the same. Nite chuckled, while he continued to strip out of his silky shirt, revealing more of his pale skin. His lover eyed him hungrily, but he just sat there, waiting patiently as Nite stripped for him.

Nite had watched enough porn to know how to move, to keep the troll’s hazy gaze on only him. He knew he didn’t _have_ to be vulgar for that to happen, but he enjoyed the extra attention Seymore gave him, when he acted a little more like the colorful people in his collection of adult content. And even _if_ Seymore still seldomly put words on what he fancied the most, he didn’t have to, anymore. Nite knew _very_ well what kind of buttons he had to push, to make Seymore _all_ kinds of tingly and excited.

,, _You look gorgeous, like that_ ,’’ the troll growled, making Nite shudder slightly. He was down to his underwear, that snuggly cupped all too little of his ass, not hiding much for the imagination. Seymore had seen it all before, and he hardly thought that he didn’t already know very well what hid behind the sparsely fabric. ,, _Just need the laces_ ,’’ he kept growled, grabbing around his own cock as he gestured the smaller man on top of him again.

,,Oh? Is that so?’’ he smiled mischievously, straddling his lover again. ,,You like skimpy clothes, don’t you? Panties, barely covering _anything_ , let alone my _cock_ , that you so _desperately_ want to touch,’’ he whispered, a slight glee in his eyes as he watched his whimpering lover underneath him.

,, _Fuck yes_ ,’’ he growled, grabbing onto the narrow hips, pulling him more towards him. For all the gentleness he had provided the last couple of days, this was a complete shift in tone. But still, Nite felt no fear when he looked at _his_ troll, knowing he had to barely say a thing, to make Seymore come back to his usual, contained self. ,, _Maybe you don’t want to wear dresses or skirts that often, but just the memory of those tight, lacy panties haunts my dreams at night_ ,’’ he growled, kissing the sorcerer’s chest, his gaze never leaving the small man.

,, _Really?_ ’’ he smirked, slowly moving his body against the troll’s. ,,I should wear those more often,’’ he panted, feeling excited himself, despite the pain from the older man’s gentle touches. The demon never hurt him _as much_ when Nite was in charge, when his own hands were firm and his movements controlled, but it still felt _different_ from before.

Seymore’s face were still against his chest, gently sucking and nibling. It occurred to him that it didn’t hurt as much when the troll was a bit rougher, than when he was being his gentle, patient self.

,,Oh, you don’t have to hold back, love,’’ he purred, guiding the troll’s hands firmer against his still partly covered ass. He hadn’t bottomed last time the pain had felt like this, and he was the slightest worried that the hot, knife-like feeling would stand by when penetrated. If so, he wasn’t sure he could keep up his façade.

,,I want to savor the moment,’’ he said, but he could feel the cock ache unbearably underneath him.

,,How long has it been? A week? One and a half? You’ve spent _all_ your time with me, I can hardly imagine your _cock_ has gotten _any_ attention _at all_ ,’’ he taunted him, pulling his briefs down, just enough to uncover his ass. He gently touched himself, made sure everything felt as it should, hoping he had left _some_ kind of lubricant around nearby. Reaching out his hand, he did indeed feel something with a similar feel to it, grabbing it with his magic. The bottle flew across rows of books, landing in his hand, and he had to ask himself later _when_ he had used it in the library the last time.

,,Two weeks,’’ he panted, as he watched the small man on his lap effortlessly lube himself up. ,,Can you… turn around? I want to-,’’ he began, but Nite cut him off by simply standing, bending over and showing himself off so _casually_ that the troll could hardly _think_ straight.

,,You’d like a show?’’ he asked innocently. He could hear Seymore’s ear flap around, he didn’t even have to watch to know that he nodded eagerly. ,, _Look_ at me, all _nice_ and _wet_ for you,’’ he panted, feeling his body shiver with anticipation.

He heard Seymore move before he felt it. The big, gruff hands, that firmly grabbed around his ass, spreading him even further out as the small man still fingered himself. Nite leaned further down, resting the hand that currently weren’t stretching himself on the floor, feeling his body ache, and his mind scream. Was he sweating? Was he _nervous?_ It would be too weird to ask to be top _now_ , when he had already prepared himself, and his body _certainly_ didn’t want him to stop his lover.

,, _Tell me what you want,_ ’’ the troll growled, whining as he slammed his drooling cock against the slick entrance, no longer occupied by the small man’s fingers. It burned, but not as badly as it _could_ have, he settled on. Muttering a brief prayer to deities he didn’t believe in, in languages his lover wouldn’t understand, he looked back at the troll, his smile as confident as ever.

,, _I want it_ hard. _I don’t want to think about_ books _or_ studies _, not even magic. Go on,_ love, _fuck my brains out_ ,’’ he growled, before looking down again.

Nite squeaked, winching with pain, when the troll did just as told. He tryingly pressed against the tight entrance, before rather smoothly pressing all the way in. Even through the burn, Nite knew he was barely halfway in, but the sudden pain was almost enough for him to pass out, making his knees shutter and the small man fell to the ground.

,,… You’re alright, Nite?’’ he asked, hesitating before kneeling behind his lover. It took him a brief moment, before he with an unsteady, breathy voice answered:

,,Yes, _yes_ , it’s _fine_. Just got… overwhelmed…’’ he muttered, spreading himself out again. ,, _Don’t hold back_ ,’’ he growled, lowering his head again.

It took Seymore a moment, before he placed himself correctly again. The pain was just as overwhelming this time, and Nite had to bite his hand to not scream out when the panting troll began to _really_ pound his ass. It shouldn’t feel _as_ painful, he knew that, but if he backed down _now_ , Seymore would be concerned with his lack of honesty.

,,You’re already trembling,’’ the troll noted, leaning in over his lover, trying to fuck him a tad deeper, but to no avail. ,,And really damn _tight_ ,’’ he panted, resting much of his heavy body against the small sorcerer’s.

,,It’s good…’’ he assured him, but he wasn’t sure his voice was convincing. ,,I-I’m just… a l-little… sensitive…’’ he moaned, not untruthful. He _did_ feel very worked up already. He didn’t _take_ himself as a masochist, but _clearly_ , with the pain it _did_ really feel intense.

His cock was still trapped in his underwear, but he barely got the idea to touch himself, before it felt _unbearably_ sensitive with the fabric against his glans. He couldn’t give a warning, before he felt his body tense and everything felt overwhelming, as he came much before he had anticipated. It had been _years_ since it had felt like that, like he was in _no_ control of his body, and he wondered if the demon tried to mock him, or if he really just _was_ turned on by the pain?

,, _Damn_ , you really _are_ sensitive today,’’ the troll muttered, leaning down to kiss his neck. When he slowed down the pace, the pain that clawed at his very soul intensified, making everything go white for a moment.

,,D-don’t stop! I d-didn’t tell you to slow down!’’ he whined. His lover came with a deep, dark snarl, pinning him to the floor as he did as told, and despite already being tired and sore, he couldn’t help but too indulge in the sheer _lust_ of his lover.

It felt _good_. He was _safe_. The demon’s _stupid_ , hurtful attempts couldn’t break them, he thought, as Seymore kept fucking him even harder. Not when they kissed, not when they cuddled together, not even when the troll _pounded_ him beyond belief. He felt a slight sense of pride, of being _able_ to even hold up doing this, both regarding the demon’s curse, but also just in general.

,, _Such a good boy_ ,’’ the troll growled, grabbing around his tiny body with one arm, the other on the floor, supporting his weight. He was so close that it felt overwhelming again. He already felt close to coming for a second time, but he feared he would just pass out when his body was worked up this much.

Despite how gentle Seymore had been, since the demon had revisited Nite, his movements were needy and hungry. Every kiss, every _bite_ , was to leave marks on his body for days to come, every trust to make sure he wouldn’t go _hungry_ again, for a while. While his normal control was fading, Nite were still impressed how well he held up, taking into account that the sorcerer’s mind had been occupied with books and magic for the past weeks.

,,You’re not as talkative today,’’ Seymore noted, but he didn’t stop his rough movements. ,,You really want it like this?’’ he asked gently. The arm around him held him in place, while the troll’s big hand pinched his nipples, sending more chock-waves through his system.

,, _Y-yes!_ ’’ he moaned, leaning up against the troll. He would probably have noticed the pain on his back, if it wasn’t for the pain inside himself. He began to understand why Seymore so _insistently_ liked to be inflicted with pain, he thought mind-numbingly as his body jerked forward and he came _again_ , feeling sticky and _dirty_ in his remaining clothes.

,, _Fuck, you’re sure_ I _haven’t been neglecting_ you?’’ he growled, thrusting a little harder, before he with a low growl allowed himself to come.

Nite whined and whimpered as he felt the orgasm rush through his partner. Not because it hurt him, but because it nearly was too much too handle. He thanked the deities for them being alone, otherwise they would have been caught on the spot, as he cried out in pain and pleasure, while the troll kept coming. Every pump through the hard cock inside him, made him whimper a little more, until the troll finally pulled out, undoubtedly enjoying the sight of his used and spent lover underneath him.

,,Woah, that was amazing, baby,’’ the troll muttered, caressing the small man gently. His body was sore and tired, but relaxed, and some parts of him didn’t want to stop. If Seymore hadn’t come then and there, he would have loved to continue, just being at the mercy of his troll lover. ,,Hey? You’re alright, my love?’’ he said, trying to catch the sorcerer’s gaze.

,,Yes, I’m just… _drained_ …’’ he said slowly, trying to get up from the floor, but he could hardly move. When he finally got onto his back again, Seymore’s eyes were as gentle as ever. ,,Hey,’’ he smiled up to his beloved.

,,Hey there, beautiful,’’ he said, leaning down to kiss the small man. Regardless of what the demon meant, Nite really _did_ love every bit of gentleness from the troll. Seymore then stood up, before he picked up the human, just as effortlessly as in the past. He always felt small, but safe, in the troll’s embrace, and Seymore always looked so proud and in love when he carried him around like this. ,,I think we’re done studying for now, wouldn’t you say?’’ he chuckled, looking around at the mess around them.

,,Yerh, I think you’re right,’’ he sighed, making a twist with his hand to get the worst mess away. Their clothes were still sprawled all out on the floor, but they could pick that up _later_ , he assumed. Right now, he most of all wanted Seymore to take them to their bathtub, or _any_ bathtub for that matter, relax in the warm water and just cuddle with his gentle troll.

The demon scoffed. At first, he feared Seymore had heard it, but if he had, he didn’t show it. He wondered _why_ that would be? Why he had been able to hear it at all that night, he didn’t even understand. But that he couldn’t _now_ , seemed to unsettle him…

Was he drifting apart from Seymore? That couldn’t be it. They had spent _all_ their time together, studying, _searching_ for anything that could be of help to them. Seymore had done _the opposite_ of what he had expected, when he had talked about his hopes for this doomed world. He hadn’t run off, if anything, he tried his best to show Nite that he didn’t _need_ anything like that.

It would be very easy for the troll to flee. He had done it before, for much less than the looming doom that seemed to surround Nite. He had expected _some_ kind of reaction, other than hugs and kisses, but instead, Seymore seemed _determined_ to find something that would help keep the sorcerer’s powers at bay.

But Nite didn’t want that. He wanted to _access_ and _control_ these unruly powers, like he had wanted from the very start. And while Seymore had asked for his honesty in regards to this, he didn’t feel like the troll would _really_ understand matters like these.

He had always been _painfully_ honest with Seymore in the past. Not always on purpose. It had always been very hard for him not to get _consumed_ by his emotions, and it was almost _impossible_ for him not to speak his mind. He didn’t know exactly when that changed. Sometime after he came back to the castle, maybe? Maybe it had started when he was in the circle, even?

He hadn’t been honest about the book, back then, for the same reasons he couldn’t be _completely_ honest about his goals, his _desires_ , or the demon in general. He knew it would scare Seymore, and much more than anything, _maybe even more than his desires for power and control_ , were the desire to stay with Seymore.

Nite loved Seymore to the point where it all felt surreal and dreamlike. He had fantasized about this, ever since they started to fool around back then, mistaking their physical relation as a blooming start of them being lovers. Now he had everything _and more_ than he could ever dream of, and it still wasn’t enough. It _still_ didn’t feel real. But that had nothing to do with his gentle giant of a troll, and _everything_ to do with himself, he thought, as he rested in the troll’s strong arms, while Seymore found a suitable bathroom.

,,Can you stand for a moment, my love? I’ll get the water ready,’’ he said gently, placing the human down as he nodded. He loved the sound of that; _My love_. _My_ love. Seymore didn’t say it with possessiveness, he said it with an adoration that was _unreal_ , and it made Nite feel fuzzy and tingly every time he did so.

The water felt soothing when he stepped inside. He rested his back against the troll’s chest, feeling the whole world settle and become unimportant around him. Who was he, to think he could change the world, anyway? Why would it even matter? All that mattered was how _he_ felt, for once. And Seymore made him feel _good_ , he made him feel _normal_ , a feeling he had rarely felt, besides in the company of the troll.

,,… I have to ask you, Nite… The spirit…’’ the troll suddenly said, slowly, _carefully_ , as to not scare his small lover too much. Nite tried his best not to flinch at the words, but at last, his act was up. ,,… Is it still with you?’’ he asked, just as gently as before.

,,Why do you ask?’’ He tried to sound casual, but he knew he failed.

,,Because the pain is back, isn’t it?’’ he asked, but he didn’t move his hands. Nite sighed, nodded and leaned back against his lover, looking slightly up at his concerned eyes. ,,Why didn’t you tell me?’’

,,… Well, if you _knew_ , why didn’t you ask before?’’ he bit back, a little too rash.

,,I hoped you would tell me yourself,’’ he said gently, leaning down to kiss the top of his lover’s head. He felt stupid. His fears had been that Seymore pulled away, and the troll had _known_ that, doing _everything_ he could to show him that that wasn’t the case. Yet Nite had still been too scared to open up to him. ,,You asked me to be honest with you, Nite. I’ve been honest with you. _Please_ , don’t cut me off like this,’’ he asked gently.

,,… I know…’’ he sighed, moving to face the troll instead. ,,I’m sorry. I _know_ I should have told you, but I’m… _I’m_ …’’ he tried, but no words came out.

,,You’re scared?’’ the troll suggested, his smile still gentle and reassuring. He nodded, looking embarrassed and small in the big tub, right in front of the larger man.

,,You don’t understand,’’ he whispered, the fear present in his voice. ,,It’s not _the demon_ that makes me fucked up. It’s _me_. And I’m so scared… that you finally see _me_ , for what I am…’’ he admitted.

Seymore was quiet for a moment, his expression hard to read. Concern? Hesitations? Maybe he wondered how he could get out of this situation, unharmed. But… if he had assumed the demon was still with him, and he had stayed… Didn’t that mean the demon’s words were false? Didn’t that mean that Seymore _wouldn’t_ leave?

,,I know that feeling,’’ he finally said, smiling almost _cocky_ when he gestured the small man closer. ,,I’ve been pretty afraid too, in the past,’’ he chuckled.

,,… But not anymore?’’ he asked curiously.

,,No, not anymore. There’s this… _really_ great guy, that said it wouldn’t change his feelings regardless of my past. But I think I forgot to tell him, that it wouldn’t change my feelings either, regardless of what’s going on in that thick head of his,’’ he said. His voice was warm and soothing, and Nite wanted to stay here, in the hot water and just listen to his lover, telling him that everything would be alright. That _he_ was alright. Maybe then, everything _would_ be alright.

,,You’re amazing, you know that?’’ he said, closing his eyes and relaxing in the troll’s grip. ,,You always said you didn’t really think you _deserved_ me, but… It’s really the other way around, Seymore. I… I’m so scared of _ruining_ everything again…’’ he admitted.

,,You didn’t ruin it last time,’’ he said gently, kissing the sorcerer’s neck. Despite the pain, his lips still felt soothing, like the water itself.

,,But if I had told you about the book-,’’ he tried, but Seymore cut him off.

,,Then I would have been scared,’’ he finished. They were both silent for a moment, before the troll sighed. ,,And I’m still _scared_ , Nite. Black magic… _is_ scary. But… I’m _ready_ now, I wasn’t back then, but… I can’t _help_ you, if you won’t let me,’’ he whispered gently.

,,… When I read the legend about the firstborn on Mokar… _A lot of it_ made sense. Why my mother treats me as she does, why my powers are like they are, why… Why it’s so _hard_ to keep in control, why I’m so _curious_ , and why… Why I really have the _desire_ to… rebuild the world? _Destroy it?_ I don’t know the difference, anymore,’’ he admitted. ,,I have these pictures, flash before my eyes. About a world, _I made better_ , about a world that _makes sense_ … But then the pictures flash again, and I… I see people _respect_ me or _fear_ me, it’s no difference to me. I want people to _know_ , how incredible strong I am, know that _I_ could protect them all, if they’d let me… Or destroy it all, if not…’’ he said, feeling his body shake slightly.

Seymore were quiet again, but he didn’t pull away. He wasn’t sure if he stayed out of fear, or because he truly wanted to listen and understand. He wasn’t sure of _anything_. He was _never_ sure of anything.

,,Do you _have_ to concur the world?’’ the troll finally asked.

,,… Yes. Only I can change it,’’ he said.

,,Does the world need to change?’’ he asked. There was no malice in his voice, and Nite surprisingly didn’t feel interrogated.

,, _Yes_ ,’’ he said firmly. ,,This world was supposed to be _better_ than the Mainland. If not, what’s the _point_ in removing oneself from the land below?’’ he asked.

,,I think,’’ Seymore said, hugging the small man a little tighter, ,,that the world _does_ change. _People_ change. But _slowly_. I think you’re _right_ , that we can speed up that process. I think we _could_ be more united, more like the tales from the land below, but… Do you think one person can handle all that alone? Do you trust that _you_ can? Not because you’re weak, but having _the whole world_ on your shoulders? Would _that_ make you happy?’’ he asked gently.

Nite was about to answer, but then he held back. He had to think twice. This had been his dream, before the demon had ever marked him…

… Right? This was his _goal_ , his _purpose_ , wasn’t it? If not, how would he even begin to contain the turmoil going on inside him, if he didn’t at least _try_ to do it with rightful intentions? But then again… It wasn’t his rightful intentions that had granted him the demon’s powers…

,,I wouldn’t be alone,’’ he said, much more confident than he felt. ,,I… I would have you… Right?’’ he said, looking back. He couldn’t hide the uncertainty from his voice, but if Seymore were doubtful, he couldn’t tell.

,,… No, you wouldn’t be alone,’’ he said, his smile apologetic. ,,But I won’t help you concur the world. I’m not _interested_ in the whole, wide world. I never was. I’m interested in _us_ , and I’m interested in _you_ , and I will stay with _you_ , if you promise me one thing,’’ he said, letting a wet hand cup the sorcerer’s cheek. The touch was gentle. It didn’t burn, he noticed. Maybe he had gone numb? Maybe the demon had left him.

,,… What is that?’’ he said. Even though he hesitated, he would give just about everything to see the troll smile, to _know_ , _for sure_ , that he would stay, even with the chaos Nite felt he was.

,,Don’t kill,’’ he said. His voice was firm, almost harsh, but it was still a request, a slight _beg_. ,,Don’t torture and destroy. The world won’t change with force. The world will _fall apart_ if you declare war. I… I believe you, I think the world _can_ change, for the better… And I _want_ to believe that you, _firstborn on Mokar_ , is not _blessed_ with powers to _destroy_ , but to create. Like _spring_ , you will create a world, make it _bloom_ into the fantasies you’ve read about. And I… I still can’t _help you_ , with that… But what I want is to _choose good_ … Because I don’t believe you’re _evil_ , Nite. And I _refuse_ to believe you’re evil…’’ he said, his voice now only a faint whisper.

The demon wasn’t gone, he realized, when whispers of _lies_ and _foolery_ flooded his mind. _He_ believed Seymore, but the demon did not. The demon didn’t want a peaceful revolution. Sometimes, he wasn’t even sure he himself wanted that.

Seymore had asked him before, not to kill and destroy. He hadn’t realized that that was something the troll was afraid he would actually _do_. Even when realizing his less than pleasant feelings, he had never imagined himself to torture and kill. But by the way the demon whispered to him, he knew that the demon indeed wanted him to do just that.

,,I won’t destroy, I will create,’’ he repeated, as the words settled in his mouth. He felt a sharp pain through his chest, but he tried not to flinch too much. By the way the amber eyes observed him, he knew that Seymore noticed, but he still smiled.

,, _Thank you_ ,’’ he whispered, gently placing his hands on the small man’s shoulders. ,,Come here. Let me hold you, for a moment,’’ he said, and Nite placed his tired body back in the troll’s lap, placing his arms around his shoulders. It felt good, to sit like this. He understood why Seymore liked long baths, but only when the troll was with him. That was his own kind of pampering.

,,I’m still afraid,’’ he admitted, but didn’t pull away. ,,But I will tell you what’s going on… if you don’t stop holding me,’’ he said carefully.

,,I’ll keep holding you, my love,’’ he said. ,,I’m very proud of you. I know it’s hard. I know the world is big and scary and foreign for you. But don’t let your mother or the circle or even _me_ taint your _excitement_ and love for the world around you. Every time we go outside, no matter where we have been, you _sparkle_ like the beauty of the world is a _wonder_ to you. And I hope you’ll _never_ stop looking at the world, like that,’’ he said softly.

,,I won’t,’’ he said again, a little more confidently this time. ,,I really wish… that _this_ would be enough. I feel like… Like I really _believed_ back then, that this would have been enough, but I… I’m not sure it had been, not even if we’ve became lovers before… Before my mother took the book,’’ he admitted.

He moved to kiss the troll again. His lips were gentle and reassuring, and despite how hungry they had been not long ago, it all felt so soothing now. He could feel the troll’s strong arms around his body, gently holding him tightly against himself.

,,I love you,’’ Seymore said, the warm, golden eyes half-lidded and hazy. They weren’t sad, anymore, he noticed. Just like when he was younger, a slight sparkle was in those beautiful, amber eyes, that made him relaxed just by looking at him. He wanted to tell him, but he didn’t get the chance, before the troll kissed him again, chuckling against his own, thin lips.

,,What?’’ the sorcerer asked, the chuckle contagious.

,,Well I just… Heh, right before, when we had sex… It got me wondering… Didn’t that hurt like _hell?_ ’’ he asked, still chuckling.

,,It did,’’ he admitted, unsure why that would be _funny_. Then the troll leaned forward, kissing his lover right underneath his ear.

,,I didn’t know _pain_ was a kink of yours,’’ he said, his voice suddenly dark again.

,,… I didn’t know either,’’ he said slowly.

,,That’s why you wanted it rough, right? Because that hurt less?’’ he asked gently. Nite nodded briefly, whimpering slightly when the troll’s teeth scraped him. ,,Does it still hurt when I touch you, Willow?’’ He said his name with a gentleness, that made it feel unreal and fuzzy, that anyone could even _talk_ to him with such content. He had distanced himself so much from the name _Willow_ , that it almost felt like a whole other person, a person he was to were _jalouse_ of, even though it was _absurd_.

,,No,’’ he said, hiding his face in the crook of the troll’s neck. ,,Or not that much, at least. But if it returns, I’ll let you know, love,’’ he smiled against the green skin.

,,… Would you be up for sex again, if it did so? I don’t _like_ to think of you being in pain, but… I have to admit… It was pretty hot…’’ he said, almost a little shyly. ,,I mean… I was pretty pent up, too… But you haven’t come this _easily_ in a long time, and that was… _very_ , very sexy,’’ he purred, a little less shy this time. Nite couldn’t help but to chuckle himself.

,,I don’t think _this_ was the demons intention,’’ he laughed. ,,Using my curse as a kinky add on? Why, aren’t you creative, my dear troll,’’ he said, leaning up to kiss him again, a little hungrier this time. His body still felt sore and tired, but he still _longed_ to be held and touched, even if he should be _more_ than quenched by now.

They kept kissing in the tub, long after the water had cooled off. Nite reheated it once or twice, refusing to get down from the troll’s lap, but Seymore didn’t rush him either. His mind had been occupied with books and studies for so long. It tended to be, but he didn’t usually have the luxury of having Seymore around when he studied, and _never_ with the purpose of him _helping_ him.

Like this, he _almost_ wanted to disobey the demon, casting all wishes of revolution aside. _Almost_.

Seymore didn’t fuck him in the tub, as he had almost hoped he would. They instead dried off and went back to the library, but not to study. They read for the rest of the morning, dwelling into imaginary worlds and cuddling up together, just like they had used to in the beginning of their relationship.

He sometimes forgot that this had been their reality, when they first became lovers. Whenever Seymore had done the bare minimum of necessary chores, they would sneak away in the corners of the castle, to read and cuddle, kiss and _fuck_. That was almost three months ago now.

Nite had been the one to change that, he reminded himself. As if things where _too easy_ , or _too comfortable_. Like he couldn’t _stay_ in this wonderful, peaceful setting, and he needed to break free to dwell into studies, that seemed never ending. Sometimes he wondered _why_ he even studied, and then he would find his troll again, ready to rekindle the feeling of warmth Seymore just oozed of.

In the past, Nite would have given just about anything for this. He wasn’t disappointed by their relationship, far from. It was somehow just hard to _be_ this happy, for long periods of time.

,,Hey?’’ the troll suddenly said. Nite mumbled something resembling a _yes_ , but didn’t look up from his book. ,,Would it be alright if I went out, for a couple of hours? I would be back before dinner, I assume,’’ he asked. Nite was caught off guard by how nonchalantly he asked, with no signs of doubt or hesitations as he spoke.

,,… Don’t you mean _we?_ ’’ he asked, finally turning to look at the troll again, but Seymore just gently shook his head.

,,No, just me,’’ he said, now with a slight nervous look in his eyes, that again caught the human off guard, as if that was the only thing he could fixate on in this very moment.

,,… Why?’’ he asked instead, his dismay clear as daylight.

,,It’s a surprise,’’ he said. He _seemed_ genuine, but the whole scenario set him off. He couldn’t distinguish his own, nervous thoughts, from the loud roar from the demon, that _this was it_ , this was how the troll would flee. And even if something in him _really_ wanted to be reasonable and trust the troll, all other thoughts seemed to drown it out.

,,I don’t want a surprise,’’ he said hastily. He blurted it out too harshly, making him sound much more angry than nervous. ,,I mean… Don’t go… I don’t want anything. I just want you to stay _here_ ,’’ he said, but it didn’t sound like a plea. It sounded like a _demand_ , even to himself.

Seymore closed his book, his eyes sad again. He didn’t want to make the troll sad, but the sudden realization that Seymore _could leave_ , and then just not come back, made him anxious. He had never _thought_ about Seymore going out without him, as he had rarely left the castle even before they became lovers. What would he need to do out there, all by himself, anyway? Why would he go, when _this_ was _everything_ as simple as he had always sought after?

,,… I’ll be back, Nite. I _promise_ it won’t be for long,’’ he tried gently. He wanted to take the sorcerer’s hands, but Nite pulled away in an instant.

,,Do you _have_ to?’’ he asked instead. His voice felt shaky. _Everything_ felt like an attack, even if Seymore tried to be so gentle and patient.

,,… _No_. I don’t _need_ to, but I _want_ to. If I stay now, I’ll just do it another day. Which I _can_ , but I feel like… _today_ isn’t the problem,’’ he said calmly. Nite had scooted away when he pulled his hands out of reach, but now he missed the warmth of his lover.

,,I just don’t _understand_ why you _have_ to go, at all,’’ he said, his voice a little too loud, trying to drown out the demon. ,,I don’t like it. I don’t want it,’’ he said again, his eyes flickering slightly.

,,… Can you tell me why?’’ he asked, but Nite shook his head. Even though it all felt real, it also felt _silly_ to believe Seymore would leave _now_ , just out of nowhere. He should _trust_ him, but it just seemed impossible. ,,… Are you afraid I’ll leave, and not come back?’’ he then asked, making Nite look at the gentle, amber eyes again. He nodded slowly, keeping his eyes on his lover’s. ,,I’ll be back, Nite. I promise I’ll be back,’’ he smiled gently.

,,But _why?_ ’’ he croaked. ,,You _never_ leave, and now you just… want _to?_ For a _surprise?_ I don’t _care_ for surprises, I just don’t… I don’t want to be alone…’’ he muttered, holding around himself. He felt small and silly, but it wasn’t Seymore’s fault. It was his own, he already knew that, although he couldn’t tell the troll.

,,I know. I need to get something I can’t just order by airmail. But I still want it to be a _surprise_. I’m pretty sure you’ll love it, but I… ahm, I need to do it _right_ , so you don’t end up disappointed,’’ he explained.

,,I won’t like it. I’d rather have you stay,’’ he said stubbornly.

,,… I would really like to do this,’’ he said, his smile still patient.

,,What if you _meet_ someone? What if you don’t come back?’’ he blurted out, his voice a little shakier, as if he didn’t recognize it himself. It seemed to startle the troll, his gentle gaze a little more concerned this time around.

,,Who would I meet?’’ he asked baffled. ,,Nite, this is _absurd_. I understand your fears, but _really_ , who would I meet? Do you _really_ think I would go out, to find some random person _now?_ You don’t believe this, do you?’’ he asked. His voice wasn’t unkind, but a little less soft.

,,… No, but… It’s not…’’ he mumbled, looking down. ,,I’ll be all alone… And you only want to leave, after I told you about the demon coming back, and…’’ he tried, but the troll interrupted him.

,,That’s why I want to do it _now_ ,’’ he said, almost excitedly. ,,It will _make sense_ , my love. I won’t run off, not _at all_. I just need to do this, and I’ll be back as quickly as I can,’’ he tried. He gently reached out to hold around the sorcerer again, and this time, Nite didn’t scoot away. With a small nod from his lover, he let his heavy hand rest on the human’s shoulder.

,,… I _know_ you won’t run off… But… I have _never_ had the whole castle for myself, like this, and… it’s scary. It’s _strange_. You haven’t even taken off yet, and I already _miss_ you… Like I’m never going to see you again… Like I’m going to _forget_ you in the meantime…’’ he whined. He didn’t want to cry. He had _never_ cried before the troll waltzed into his life, not like this. His emotions were always wild and uncontrollable, but they never made him _cry_ like _this_. _Why_ did it upset him so much, that he just wanted to _cry?_

Seymore moved, to kneel on the floor in front of his lover, his hands still on his shoulders. It felt grounding that they laid there, making him think back to all the times in the past he had grabbed onto the troll’s shoulders, or back to a time where that would be the only way Seymore touched him. It seemed like a lifetime ago.

,,Would you rather that I went out another day?’’ he asked, but Nite shook his head. ,,How can I help you being comfortable with being alone in the meantime?’’ he asked instead.

,,I don’t think you can,’’ he said, looking up at the troll’s gentle gaze again. Whatever he had feared, seemed to pass, when he looked at that enchanting smile, but he knew it would be back again as soon as Seymore took off. ,,… Is the surprise really _that_ good?’’ he finally sighed.

,, _Yes_ ,’’ he smiled. ,,I think it will be of help, until we get your spirit under control,’’ he said, standing up again. Nite took his hand, unwillingly getting up himself. He still didn’t want Seymore to leave, but he _knew_ he couldn’t make him stay, either. Not without pushing him away, involuntarily.

,,… What will I do in the meantime? I mean, _I can read_ , but… I’ve never been all by myself, not _here_ ,’’ he muttered, as they went down the looming hallways.

,,Well, what do you want to do? You’re not bound to make all your time revolve around me. I know, we’ve spent a lot of time together lately, and I enjoy that _very_ much, my love, but usually you need time for yourself too,’’ he said gently. ,,That’s not _why_ I’m going on a trip. But trust me, I’ll be as quick as I can,’’ he said.

The hallway seemed a little bigger than it used it be. A little emptier. The whole castle seemed enormous right now, as the troll prepared for his trip. He dared to believe the troll, but he would be damned if he chose wrong. Not only would the demon mock him for eternity for it, he wasn’t sure he would be able to keep any kind of control, should the troll betray him again and leave.

,,… You’re sure I can’t go with you? I mean… Maybe just go with you, to the gateway?’’ he tried, although he didn’t really want to go for such a long walk right now. If anything, he felt exhausted, and Seymore looked like he thought the same thing.

,,Take a day of, my love. Read whatever you want to read, or do whatever makes you relax. There’s food in the fridge, if you get hungry,’’ he said, even though he knew it would be unlikely.

,,… You make me relax,’’ he tried, feeling just as anxious as when they had been on their date, and Seymore had left to order. He had only been gone for a couple of minutes, which was nothing compared to spending _hours_ alone. ,,… Is it because of _me?_ Did I do anything _wrong?_ ’’ he asked, feeling his heart race as the voices in his head whispered and taunted him.

,,No,’’ he smiled. ,,Nothing wrong, sweet, little Willow,’’ he said, making the small man jump slightly. ,,Too often?’’ he chuckled, as the sorcerer’s cheeks heated.

,,It’s fine,’’ he said. Seymore took his hands again, gently kissing the pale skin, before he leaned down to kiss his lips instead. ,, _You’ll be back, right?_ ’’ he growled, his voice as small and scared in troll, as it was without.

,, _I will. Rest assured of that_ ,’’ he growled back. ,,Do you have any kind of crystal that can track me? Any kind of spell that can make sure I’ll come home? I want you to feel safe, with _and_ without my presence, Nite. This is not a _punishment_ , if anything, I’m trying to surprise and treat you. You’ve done _so well_ the last couple of weeks, even if we find no answers. And I want to show you that I really _appreciate_ your effort,’’ he said, his smile comforting as ever. And yet again, the amber orbs weren’t sad anymore, making Nite’s heart flutter lightly.

,,No. I trust you,’’ he said, ignoring the scolding from the demon. ,,… But… If you’re not back by midnight, I’ll find you. I don’t know how, but _I will_ , okay?’’ he said, trying to sound stern instead of fidgety. Regardless if that worked out for him or not, Seymore looked happy, as he kissed him again before opening the door.

,,I will. No power in this or other worlds can keep me away,’’ he said gently. It always amazed him how soft Seymore could make things sound, despite how gruff and growly his voice was. He didn’t let go of the troll’s hands, when he tried to take a step towards the door.

,,… I love you. Be safe, right?’’ he asked, smiling shyly before he finally let go of the hands. Seymore grabbed onto him again, giving them a slight squeeze, before he stepped outside. Even if the summer sun tried its best, the light didn’t seem convincing, making the whole island look dryer than it probably was.

,,I love you too. And I will,’’ he said, as he began to walk down the stairs. Nite waved after him, but he didn’t look back.

_He leaves… Good, keep him away…_

,,Shut up,’’ he hissed. Seymore was too far away to hear it, so he couldn’t know for sure if the troll were able to hear the demon, that wasn’t as much of a whisper, anymore.

_You really believe him to be back, fool…_

,,… He will,’’ he hesitated. Nite contemplated whether or not he should just run after him. _Beg_ him to stay. _Demand him to stay_. But he felt as frozen to the place, as were he made of ice. He felt like ice, too. What if the demon really was right?

But when the troll reached the forest, just close enough to still see the small, nervous human on the doorstep of the Greenlight castle, he turned around and waved. He smiled, so bright that it was still clear to see, and suddenly, the light didn’t seem as cold. Nite waved back, before the troll finally left between the thick tree trunks, and the brief moment of relief where all gone again.

The next minutes felt like hours. It clawed at his soul, as his only peaceful thoughts left with the troll’s presence. He could barely keep upright, trying to grab anything as he stumbled into the entrance hall again.

He didn’t want it to be like this. But more than that, he didn’t want Seymore to _know_ he felt like this. Despite how little he wanted to feel dependent on the troll, to the point of him _falling_ _apart_ without him, he didn’t want to think he was _incapable_ of being alone. For once, he didn’t want to trap the troll, to suffocate him into staying, even if he _desperately_ wanted to cry out for him, begging him to come back to the castle instead of going out _there_ , without him.

He sat down in the big entrance hallway, looking around and feeling so very small in the giant castle. Why would anyone build a castle this big, he thought bitterly, as his heart steadied the slightest. If he ever got out of here, he wouldn’t want a castle. Wild images of a crooked house in the forest, somewhere far from his birthplace, flashed before his eyes, as he kept relaxing on the staircase. With a little garden, he thought, and a tower, but not too tall, so they would be noticed in the depths of the forest.

It didn’t seem to blend well in with his plans of reconstructing the world, but the thought felt soothing, unlike his other plans. The whispers in his head faded, and it felt a little easier to breathe again. His heart still ached, and he wondered just _what_ could _be_ so important that Seymore just _had_ to travel at this instant?

He began to wander around the depths of the castle. He wasn’t _afraid_ to be alone, he told himself, as he unhindered walked through dark, dusty corridors and rooms Seymore apparently hadn’t tended to since he began using all of his time helping Nite with his studies. He was afraid to be _left_ alone. He wanted to be held and kissed and _cared for_ , and not left alone with his mind running wild.

It felt like years since he had been all on his own, just reading and rehearsing for himself, until his mother would ask about his progress. Now he desperately wanted to _never_ go back to how things were.

Just like Seymore, he had never _thought_ he was lonely. Seymore had probably known about his own loneliness, but had tried to push it away. He himself had never felt anything else, not as far as he remembered. But now, he had forgotten how it was to feel, truly, alone in the empty castle.

He read a little. Cursing, when he couldn’t concentrate. He tried to sleep, but ended up crying instead. Taking a shower didn’t help, _porn_ didn’t help, and when he frustrated ended up in the entrance hall again, he felt truly _imbecile_ , as if he couldn’t even _care_ for himself at all.

The hours went by. The sun went down. He hadn’t eaten anything, but who could think of food now, anyway? Seymore probably could, he thought, looking in the direction of the kitchen…

Nite didn’t know how to cook. Despite looking at the troll when he cooked, so skillful with knives and seemingly all-knowing about every utensil in the kitchen, he barely knew where to start. What would he like to come home to? Something warm, he guessed. Despite the summer drying out the air, it wasn’t very hot on Mokar yet.

He wasn’t afraid of _anything_ , he told himself, as he began to chop carrots and potatoes, asparagus and celery, throwing it all into a pot way too big for whatever he was about to prepare. He covered it up with water and threw in a bit of thung, a weird mushroom-like vegetable that Seymore apparently liked a lot, into the pot. It was very expensive, and if he ended up ruining the food, he didn’t want to waste every bit of it.

The pot boiled and he tried his best to remember what Seymore usually did. Why was this so much _harder_ than magic? Food made from magic, despite being forbidden, had a weird taste, that Nite _knew_ his beloved wouldn’t like, so he wouldn’t even try it out.

He cooked meat on the side, trying not to set fire to it or himself, for that matter. The water with vegetables were bland, although it had a strange, earth-like taste he didn’t appreciate. He tried to put salt and spices into the pot, and it helped, although just a tad.

He put the pot on a simmer and took the meat of the heat, as he sprinted to the cellar to pick up a bottle of wine. _He_ didn’t like the taste, and he didn’t know what would be a good wine for _whatever kind of mess_ he was cooking, but he grabbed what looked fanciest as he went upstairs again.

Nite had barely felt the pull in his body, when he walked up the last stairs to see his troll, opening the doors with a gentle smile when he looked at his lover again. He almost dropped the bottle, and Seymore couldn’t help but chuckled when the human jumped in to hug him, holding around his big, cold body.

,,See? I’m right here, baby,’’ he smiled, picking up the wine before Nite would _actually_ drop it. ,,… Did you turn to alcohol while I was gone?’’ he chuckled, making the small man blush slightly.

,,Ah, no. I, ahm… I’ve made dinner, I wanted to… make up for that…’’ he said, grimacing slightly. ,,It’s, ah… It’s not that neat…’’ he chuckled nervously.

This time, it almost looked like _Seymore_ were the one to tear up, looking so adoring down at him, that it almost made him feel bad for ever doubting that the troll would come back to him. Seymore leaned down, picked him up and kissed him, as was it for the very first time.

,,That’s _very_ sweet, my love. I’m sure it’s amazing,’’ he said, probably knowing all too well that it wouldn’t be. But it didn’t matter how the food tasted, as long as Seymore looked at him like this.

,,… You’re hungry?’’ he smiled, and they began to walk down towards the kitchen.

The meat wasn’t as burned as it could have been, Nite settled on, when he plated their meals. He had asked for Seymore to sit down and wait for him in the dining hall, a place they very rarely ate at, as it mostly reminded him of horrid dinners with his mother. He scooped some of the soup-like mess of vegetables onto their plates, drowning the burned meat with the watery gravy. Hopefully, it tasted better than the last time he had tried to cook for the troll.

Seymore didn’t look displeased. If anything, he really _did_ look hungry. He poured himself a glass of wine, a strange, golden liquid. It hadn’t looked like that when they drank last time, but Seymore didn’t look like it was weird for it not to be red, so he didn’t mention it.

,,Do you want a glass?’’ the troll asked gently. Nite hesitated, but nodded. It didn’t smell as strongly as the red wine had, but it didn’t _exactly_ smell pleasant, either. ,, _Thank you_ for cooking tonight,’’ he smiled, as he began to eat. He didn’t hesitate, and he made no weird faces, so Nite guessed it wasn’t _awful_.

And it wasn’t, but it wasn’t good either. The meat was bland and chewy, probably because he had left it on the back burner while getting wine. The vegetables were _mush_ , but at least they had a taste. But Seymore didn’t complain, if anything, he looked like he really liked not to have to cook tonight.

,,… What, uhm… How was your trip?’’ Nite finally asked, as he sipped the wine. It probably tasted better than the food, but he already felt tingly. He still kept drinking, trying to settle his nerves, even if this was far stronger than the red wine had been.

,,It went well,’’ he smiled, fiddling with his pocket. ,,I found this, while browsing around in the town,’’ he said, handing his lover a smooth, dark purple stone. It fit perfectly into his palm.

,,It’s pretty,’’ he said, twisting and turning it between his fingers. ,,… Is _this_ why you went out? For a stone?’’ he asked confused. It _seemed_ pretty ordinary, but maybe it was a special stone?

,,No,’’ he chuckled. ,,I just found it, and the seller said it was meant to keeping evil at bay. I don’t really think it’ll be able to do that, but… It reminded me of you… It’s the same color as the half moon,’’ he shrugged. ,,No, the reason I went out was… Well, I want to show you, but… dinner first,’’ he said, his smile almost mischievous.

It piqued his interest again, as he hurried up with his plate. Although not as full as Seymore’s, the troll was still the first to finish. The wine bottle was far from empty, but Seymore didn’t take another glass.

,,We can finish that later,’’ he smiled, when Nite tried to pour him another glass. He remembered faintly how it had been last time they had shared a bottle, and despite how much Nite had _wanted_ to take the troll up on his offer of sex in some foreign woods, he was also terribly concerned that Seymore would be too drunk to be careful. Now, he was afraid it was the other way around, as he felt his legs shake slightly underneath him when he stood, but if it was due to excitement, nervousness or the wine itself, he wasn’t sure of.

After briefly putting everything away, Seymore pulled the small man into his embrace, kissing him gently and hummed against his lips. This was worth the wait, he thought, as he felt the troll pick him up to eliminate the height difference. And just like that, every violently, depressing thought were gone, and his troll made it seem all easy and _simple_ again.

Nite barely noticed when Seymore carried him down the hallways, down to their room, before putting him down on the bed. In his excitement he had almost forgot the surprise, and wanted nothing more than to kiss and touch his lover again. But then the troll pulled away, whispering in his ear:

,,Does it still hurt, when I touch you, my love?’’ he asked gently. Nite had hardly noticed.

,,A little, but not that much,’’ he said, trying to get him to kiss him again. ,,Don’t stop kissing me,’’ he begged.

,,I won’t, but I wanted to show you, ahm… the surprise,’’ he said, chuckling a little nervously. ,,I know it’s not the same thing, not at all, but… I wanted to share your pain, and I… ahm…’’ he tried, suddenly shy, as he began to open his shirt.

Even if the room was dark, he could see the metal glitter across both of the perky nipples. The troll was leaning over his small partner, showing off his new piercings as Nite just laid back, observing how it looked when the chest would rise and fall, his lover’s nervous breathing filling up the room.

,,I, ahm… They are very sore…’’ he mumbled, when Nite reached up to touch him, pausing in motion.

,,I guessed as much,’’ he said, his smile devilish when he grabbed around the pecs, careful not to touch the piercings directly. He was looking forward to make all different kinds of rings or beads for the troll to put on, but just the look of it excited him as much as he had first assumed. ,,Looking _great_ , love,’’ he purred, his thumb circling a little closer to the heated, sore area.

,,Thanks,’’ he panted. He could feel the troll slowly grind against his leg, but he was too occupied with the enchanting sight. He _really_ wanted to pull and bite them, but that time would come soon enough.

,,Can I touch them? Gently,’’ he asked. Seymore nodded slowly, whimpered lowly as the sorcerer’s long fingers graced the skin. They felt _hot_ , the metal smooth, and he wondered how that would feel in his mouth, the mere thought all too exciting. ,,… I still rather have had you home, but they _do_ look mighty fine,’’ he muttered, placing gentle kisses on the troll’s neck.

,,Really? You were bored?’’ he chuckled, but Nite shook his head.

,,… I don’t like being alone,’’ he mumbled, hiding his face against the troll’s neck. ,,… I need you, Seymore. I need you to stay with me,’’ he said softly.

,,I will,’’ he said gently, sneaking an arm around him to embrace the small man. ,,I didn’t want to leave you, my love. But I wanted it to be a surprise. Besides… I think it’s healthy enough for you not to be dependent on me, _always_ … But I recognize it wasn’t the greatest timing for a trip. Maybe I should have stayed,’’ he said, nuzzling his face against his lovers.

,,It’s alright… I would probably not have liked to see you get pierced, anyway,’’ he chuckled.

,,Why not? I was afraid it would have maybe excited you,’’ he said, chuckling slightly himself.

,,… I think I would have been jealous, that anyone dared to touch you like that…’’ he admitted. ,,I mean… I get that they probably don’t _get off_ , doing this, but…’’

,,Believe me, he wasn’t interested in me like that,’’ Seymore said gently. ,,And to be fair… I wasn’t very aroused when he did it… _Damn_ , it hurt…’’ he muttered, before laying down beside his lover.

,,Really? You only get hard when _I_ hurt you, huh?’’ he said playfully, opening his shirt to get rid of it. The troll looked hungrily at the bare skin, but waited for Nite to take things further.

,,Haven’t had many be so _rough_ with me, as you tend to be, love,’’ he said. ,,… Hey? You wanna try it out?’’ he finally asked, gently stroking himself through his pants. If Seymore _had_ been hard when he got pierced, he couldn’t imagine that the troll could hide it.

,,You wanna hurt together?’’ he asked, surprisingly soft, as he pulled his own pants down. Seymore gave his lover a low growl, before he mimicked the human, stripping down to nothing, and just as expected, he was already impatiently waiting to be touched.

Nite didn’t waste time. He wanted Seymore to see _exactly_ what to come back to. Surely, the dinner wouldn’t bring him back home, if he should ever stray too far, but Nite knew _exactly_ how and where to touch to make him forget every slight desire he would ever have to leave.

He straddled the troll, feeling the pain burst through his veins again. Just in time, he thought, smirking down to the already panting troll. It seemed like he had assumed Nite would be the one fucking him tonight, but the sorcerer wanted to feel like earlier, _in pain_ , but so very close and overwhelmed in the arms of his lover.

The heavy cock ached behind his bare cheeks. The pain wasn’t as harsh as earlier, he noted, as Seymore grabbed around himself, persistently grinding against the sorcerer’s tight hole. A thumb lazily circled his entrance, making him pant excited when the troll put it in, lubing him sparsely.

,,Grab me if it hurts,’’ the troll said, replacing his finger with his cock, slowly pressing against his anus, the tip slipping in easily.

,,It hurts more when you’re gentle,’’ he admitted, as he sat down, feeling the cock fill him up, yanking at his very soul. He sat there for a moment, before he began to ride him. It didn’t feel like it usually did when he was on top, but it felt far from bad, the pain sending shivers down his spine. He leaned down, very carefully licking the sore, pierced nipples, almost moaning at the whimpers from his lover. ,,So don’t hold back, _love_ , or your nipples will be _more_ than sore,’’ he smirked.

,,Aye,’’ he panted, grabbing around the sorcerer’s small waist, guiding him firmly against himself. He was still slow, almost _teasing_ , his gaze full of mischief as the sorcerer groaned and tried to ride him harder, but were denied. ,, _Are you going to fulfill your promise, or do I have to be even gentler?_ ’’ he growled, smirking when Nite leaned down to brush his face against the sore spots.

,,You’re such a _treat_ ,’’ he panted, letting his tongue grace the warm nubs, against the slightly colder metal. He wanted to suck on them _so badly_ , but he feared it would end up ruining the healing process, if he was _too_ rough. The fact alone that Seymore even let him _touch him_ at all when they were so fresh and sore, were more than enough for now. ,,I’m gonna have _so_ much fun with you,’’ he said, his voice already trembling.

He didn’t come as quickly as earlier in the day. If it was because he was more prepared this time, or because he had already come earlier, he wasn’t sure of, or maybe the pain just wasn’t as harsh? The demon would probably know that he _liked_ his curse, and would probably put an end to it. It had felt unbearable in the past, where it would remind him that he wasn’t _allowed_ to love Seymore. But now, it felt like a love declaration, that even though the pain was there, he still wanted to be so very close to his lover. Watching the metal plaster the troll’s body, made him feel _exactly_ as Seymore probably had hoped he would.

,, _I love you_ ,’’ the sorcerer growled, leaning down to kiss him again. ,, _I want you so much_ ,’’ he kept growling, grinding his hips against the troll’s throbbing cock. If anything, it seemed like Seymore was just on the verge of bursting.

,, _I love you too_ ,’’ he growled, pressing Nite’s chest against his own. He could undoubtedly feel the piercings against his own chest, and he wondered if Seymore hurt as much right now as he did himself? ,, _You’re so beautiful, feel so good…_ ’’ he growled, groaning when Nite bit down on his lip.

Seymore wasn’t usually the first to come, and normally, he warned his lover in some way or another, so the sudden increase of groaning and the violent throb inside him was a surprise, but not unwelcomed. He might have underestimated how much Seymore would actually be into the pain, but the troll didn’t stop, even after he came. He kept whimpering and thrusting into his lover, much rougher now, _easily lubed with the hot, sticky cum_ , and Nite felt the familiar jolt of arousal when he thrusted _just_ right, so deep inside him.

,,Such a good troll you are,’’ he panted excitedly, letting a hand down to his own eager cock. ,,You’re still _so_ hard, letting me use you as my own little _toy_. So _hot_ ,’’ he panted, sitting up straight as he upped the speed. His whimpers mixed with the troll’s, feeling his lover’s big hands caress and touch him everywhere, the exciting mixture of pain and pleasure so much more thrilling than he would have ever guessed.

He felt much more satisfied this time, when he shot his load all over the troll, riding out his orgasm until his legs shook and he could barely keep upright. Panting hard, he admired his mess all over the troll’s stomach, restraining himself from rubbing it up against his chest.

,, _Now_ I’m done for today,’’ he said, sighing satisfied, as the troll helped him to lay down again. His mind and body felt drained and numb, and he could have passed out right then and there, if it wasn’t for the troll’s gentle touches. It still stung, but he couldn’t hear evil taunts anymore, at least.

,,That was _so_ worth it,’’ he mumbled, chuckling to himself. ,,You were right, this _was_ a good idea,’’ he said, gesturing to the piercings.

,,… They were. Even if I had to be alone,’’ he smiled. He had forgotten why it had made him so upset to be alone. Right now, everything fell in place yet again, and it seemed silly that he would even deny Seymore to leave in the first place. ,,You really do like pain, huh?’’ he chuckled himself, looking at the troll again. Seymore’s eyes were closed, but he was happy and smiling. It felt soothing, like nothing else could.

,,Yerh, much more than I even thought myself,’’ he said. ,,One thing is a spanking now and again. Another is biting and scratching, not to speak of the marks I’ve gotten… I didn’t think _piercings_ would excite me,’’ he said, his chuckle shyer this time.

,,… Would you get _anything else_ pierced?’’ he asked tauntingly, making the troll laugh shortly. He turned around to lay on his side, so he could take a better look at his lover again.

,,Tell you what, the day you convince me to get _my dick_ pierced, is the day you do it yourself,’’ he said, poking out his tongue. ,, _No way_ I’m doing that willingly, not after this.’’

,,Guessed as much,’’ he said, leaning in to kiss his beloved troll. ,,I think these are _more_ than fine, love,’’ he said gently.

The rest of the evening was a blur. Maybe his body was exhausted, or maybe the wine had been too strong for him, but the first thing he remembered after cuddling up against the troll, his skin wet from sweat and his body limb and relaxed, was waking up beside him. Clearly, they hadn’t just fallen right asleep after having sex, because the sheets were clean and he wore briefs again. His head hurt, and his body were more tired than it should be, but when he looked to his side, Seymore looked at him with gentle, amber eyes, that weren’t sad at all. He felt happy, and whatever had caused his headache and nausea was unimportant.

,,Your eyes are beautiful,’’ he mumbled, clumsily kissing his lover. ,,I really think love _is_ some kind of healing magic. They aren’t sad at all,’’ he whispered gently, making the troll chuckle.

,,I think you’re right. Thank you,’’ he said, leaning in again. ,,I’m so happy you never gave up on me. I’m not giving up on you, I promise,’’ he said gently. Nite wasn’t sure if he commented on something specific from the night before, but the words still felt soothing as he cuddled against the warm troll body.

And despite whatever voices in his head, that told him otherwise, he dared to believe Seymore’s words, this time.


	26. 26) The origin of Nite

It had surprised him that they didn’t hear anything, before it was all but too late. He hadn’t thought of it to be a problem, but in hindsight, he just thanked his lucky star for not being in a more compromising position, than Nite leaning against him while they read in his study chamber.

If Seymore and Nite were surprised, Willa was downright floored. As had she appeared out of thin air, she stood before them, observing her son lazily slumping against the troll, and Seymore himself, that for once wasn’t cleaning or cooking. She had rarely seen him just sit down to read, he reminded himself, and for a brief moment, he hoped that _that_ was why she looked so stunned, and not because she saw straight through them.

Seymore had known that this day would come, but he hadn’t been prepared that _this_ would be the exact day, many months earlier than anticipated. He hadn’t heard Nite talk about her arrival home, and the sorcerer looked just as confused as he did. But he didn’t look afraid, not as far as he could tell.

,,Hello, mother. What a _pleasure_ to see you again,’’ he said, suddenly a lot more confident than Seymore would have assumed him to be. He wanted to sit up straight, but Nite made no indications to move away from his comfortable position, even while staring up at his mother. ,,Did you forget how to _knock_ while away?’’ he said coldly, before his attention dwelled on the book again. If Nite was nervous, it was hard to tell, even for Seymore, but he himself felt like throwing up.

,,… I see you rekindled your friendship,’’ she said instead, ignoring the sorcerer’s comments. _This was it_ , Seymore thought, his gaze flickering between the sorcerer and his mother, but Nite made no attempts to correct her on her statement. ,,That’s good, good…’’ she mumbled, before she looked back at her son again, her brown eyes a little more intense this time around. ,,… _No_ ,’’ she said, almost jumping back towards the door. ,, _What did you_ do?’’ she hissed, pointing at her son.

,,I’m _reading_ , could you turn that _down?_ ’’ he sneered, rolling his eyes. Getting nowhere with the sorcerer, she turned to Seymore, her eyes fearful, but angry.

,,How could you not _tell me? For how long,_ Seymore? How long have you _hidden_ this from me?’’ she scowled. For a moment, he didn’t exactly know what to answer. He was sure she asked about the mark on the sorcerer’s forehead, but she could just as easily have asked why they sat bundled up together, in the middle of the day while he had work to do. No answers seemed to come to his mind, as he tried to find comfort from the man beside him. Nite glanced back at him, catching the troll’s nervous stare, before looking at his mother yet again.

,,I _assume_ it’s not part of his contract, to report whether or not I decide to tattoo my forehead,’’ he said coldly, but Willa didn’t bite.

,, _Tattoo?_ What do you take me as, a _fool?_ _How_ did you get that book back?’’ she sneered, but Nite didn’t seem faced. Seymore had _rarely_ seen his lover this much in control when talking with his mother, and it kind of unsettled him.

,,I assume you didn’t lock it up, properly,’’ he shrugged. ,,But don’t blame _Seymore_. Are you kidding me? _Why_ in the _heavens of Aenamo_ would he contact you about that, when I, apparently, disturb you so much, because you _know_ what this is. Even _he_ knows what this is. Why in heavens would he _risk that?_ ’’ he barked back, finally standing up. Although he didn’t near her height at all, she still seemed small underneath his gaze, a sight the troll had never seen before. ,, _Really_ , mother? You have _no_ concern for your precious _servant_. No _wonder_ he wouldn’t report to _you_ ,’’ he scoffed, crossing his arms.

,,How… _dare you_ …’’ she began, raising her voice again, but whatever had possessed Nite with its calmness, didn’t back down now.

,,Look at me, _mother_ ,’’ he said, sickeningly sweet. ,,Have I _destroyed_ your castle? Have I taken off on a murder spree? No, I can’t access my powers. I’m just a very grumpy and tired young man, which mother has no _respect_ for his privacy,’’ he said, gesturing between them. How he could contain his cool like this, was a mystery to the troll. For months and months, he had anxiously awaited this moment, the same as the troll, and _never_ had he given the vibe of being this _vicious_ when the time would come.

It seemed Willa thought it to be just as strange. She briefly looked to Seymore for help, but decided against it, it seemed. Then she straightened her back, still unnerved, but trying to remain her own cool.

,,… Very well… I… see it’s not _too late_ , yet, then…’’ she said slowly. This seemed to catch Nite off guard, and he unfolded his arms, before looking up at her again.

,,… What do you mean with _too late?_ It’s _there_ , it’s not going anywhere,’’ he said, seemingly fighting the instinct to protect the mark on his forehead. His mother raised a brow, but then she smiled.

,,… Let’s talk more about it _over dinner_. Then we can discuss what happened at the circle, too,’’ she said, as politely as she could muster. Nite was about to protest, but then he held up, nodding slightly.

,,If you’ll _leave_ for now, so I can _prepare_ myself, then _fine_ , have it your way,’’ he said, his teeth gritted. She nodded and turned around, just as suddenly as she had come, and Nite _finally_ seemed to relax again as he slumped down beside the troll. ,, _Fuck_ , I didn’t know it would be _today!_ ’’ he whined. His body trembled, but Seymore were barely able to move himself. He hadn’t thought he would freeze up this badly, and he felt utterly helpless in the situation.

,,I’m sorry,’’ he croaked, finally turning to look at the already exhausted man by his side. ,,I… I should have _said_ something… _Done_ something… I’m-.’’

,,No, it’s alright,’’ he said, looking gently at the troll again. ,,… This was not the time. I… still don’t really know _what_ to say… I somehow like to _think_ she won’t mind, but on the other hand…’’ he mumbled, suddenly nervous again. ,,We haven’t packed anything. If she wants me gone for good, then we _at least_ should be prepared, right?’’ he said quietly.

,,Then let’s pack. Let’s _be_ ready, then. I… I don’t know, maybe you’re right, that this won’t really be the _worst_ of her worries, but… I… can’t deny that I’m a little afraid, Nite…’’ he admitted.

,,I know,’’ he said, gentle as ever. ,,But you won’t be alone, Seymore. I’ll never leave you behind. You can trust me on that, right?’’ he asked. And without hesitations, he nodded, smiling to the small human man. He did believe that no matter how chaotic things would get, Nite truly meant his words. He couldn’t imagine it otherwise, considering his reaction when Seymore had went out for a couple of hours.

,,I believe you, love,’’ he said, carefully taking the small human into his arms. He didn’t want to be caught _like this_ , but he still dared to nuzzle his face against his lovers, feeling his thin, light body against his own, reassuring him that things would be _alright_.

Nite were mostly interested in books when they packed. Stacks and stacks of books got thrown down into the seemingly endless bag. While it was indeed enchanted, it didn’t make it any lighter to carry around, and at some point, Nite had to see himself defeated and sort out the books he wanted to hold onto. Seymore only recognized the book they had bought on their first date.

,,Did it help you any?’’ he asked curiously. He handed Nite the book, who ran his fingers through the dusty pages.

,,I haven’t read it yet,’’ he admitted. ,,But I… I wanted to keep this, mostly for sentimental reasons,’’ he said, smiling at the book. ,,But maybe it _will_ help one day?’’ He put the book away into the bag, before throwing in crystals and stones alike. Seymore saw him put in the purple, smooth stone as well, and he wondered if he saved that for the same reasons.

Seymore’s belongings were still sparse, but this time, he at least had enough things to fill a bag, not just a sac he had thrown together like in the past. When he was done, he begrudgingly had to begin dinner, before Willa would make notice of his absence.

,,You can handle the rest on your own, right?’’ the troll asked, putting his bag beside Nite’s bigger one. The sorcerer nodded, eyeing his lover nervously.

,,… Do you _really_ think that she’ll… just let me go? I mean… Even _if_ she freaks out…’’ he muttered quietly.

,,Well, you’re an adult now, right? She… She can’t _keep_ you here, against your will… right?’’ he asked cautiously. Nite shrugged, which didn’t really comfort him.

,, _No_ , but what would stop her, really? If I go toe to toe with my mother, when my powers are _this_ unstable… I’m… not sure I would want to do that,’’ he said slowly. Even if he didn’t say it out loud, Seymore understood how destructive Nite’s powers could be, and hearing him denounce the idea that he would go to the extremes to _hurt_ his mother, seemed to surprise the sorcerer himself. But it made all the difference for Seymore.

,,Let’s hope it won’t come to that,’’ he smiled, putting a warm hand on the young man’s shoulder. ,,But… _in theory_ , you’re an adult now, and that book, with everyone in it… It knows about you now, doesn’t it? How can she _keep_ you here?’’ he asked, trying to remember the details that always seemed to slip and slide between his fingers.

,,Well… _That book_ knows about me, yes. It’ll just look like I came from Vaihines. But… _If_ I will _ever_ gain control of my powers, the smartest place to be is _here_. I’ll be searching _my whole life_ for libraries this full, and never find any. Somewhere, _there must_ be a way to… _contain_ these powers,’’ he said slowly. Seymore knew Nite hesitated, because he didn’t want to contain the powers. He wanted to set them free, and _be_ as the legend had foretold; unstoppable and powerful. But he didn’t want it enough, that he would risk destroying the place, it seemed.

,,That makes sense,’’ he smiled, as they began to walk out of the study chamber. Seymore assumed Nite needed to pack some clothes too, while he himself prepared their meal. He knew he could just make clothes, but this would be far easier for their start. ,,… I never quite understood… _How_ do people get up here? You said once it wasn’t _uncommon_ that people found their way up here, but… I don’t think I ever met anyone, that claimed to be from the Mainland, except your mother?’’ he then asked. It had been on his mind for some time, now.

,,No one really knows _exactly_ how,’’ he said. ,,People usually tell about a feeling, _a need_ , that pulls them towards the sky. But no one knows what it is,’’ he shrugged. ,,I think that’s why some people believe in the likes of _Am_. It _seems_ Godlike, that something could _pull you_ to another world, like this. But it must simply just be magic, I can’t believe it, otherwise,’’ he said, his brows furrowed. Seymore chuckled gently, as they reached the hallway corner, that lead down to the main part of the castle.

,,I think it’s funny that you don’t believe in Gods, but you study _all_ the ways magic is possible. Why wouldn’t a God be able to simply _hide_ their presence with magic, as your mother did to you?’’ he asked curiously.

,, _Well_ , if Gods exist, they _should_ have taken better care of the world,’’ he said harshly. ,,Hiding away, just to pull more people up here, is cowardly.’’ He wondered if this was a reason for Nite to reclaim the world, to make up for a lack of a God? He hadn’t heard Nite speak much of deities, neither Am or anyone else, for that matter. ,,… Do you believe in Gods?’’ he then asked, pulling Seymore out of his drifting thoughts.

,,… No. But that’s not really common for trolls, either. We believe the stars holds powers beyond belief, but… the stars aren’t Gods. The stars will show us our own pathway,’’ he smiled.

,,I like _that_ better, even if it still sounds very _abstract_ ,’’ he shrugged.

,,That’s how I usually feel about magic,’’ he chuckled. He reached out to caress Nite’s cheek, but couldn’t help to look around. Willa probably wouldn’t be down here again anytime soon, but he couldn’t be too sure. His lover looked as nervous as he himself felt, but he still smiled at the troll when their eyes met. ,,Don’t worry, love. It’ll be alright. Not all parents are as mine were,’’ he tried, but he couldn’t be sure that the Madam _wouldn’t_ be just as cruel to her son, as he had feared her to be. When all was said and done, she had seldomly treated him right.

,,I know,’’ he said quietly. ,,I just… have this weird _feeling_ , that even if she _doesn’t_ throw us out… I don’t know. I have this feeling like everything is going to _explode_ ,’’ he said, his mahogany eyes big and concerned.

,,It won’t,’’ he promised. ,,I’ll make sure of that. I’ll be there, Nite. I won’t disappear.’’

He leaned down to kiss the sorcerer’s quivering lips. A part of him just wanted to _run for the hills_ , while they still could do so. But he still had so many questions, and so did Nite. The sorcerer was _right,_ that this was the best place for him to study, to find a solution for his problems with the half moon, but Seymore himself wanted answers from Willa, even if the mere thought made him clammy an anxious.

Answers about the birth of the man he loved. Answers he feared to get. Answers about what happened to Ava, back then…

When he pulled back from the familiar warmth of his loved one, he finally went on his way to the kitchen. He didn’t want to leave Nite, not even for a couple of hours. Not when he felt this anxious. He couldn’t be _too_ sure that he wouldn’t try something stupid, but he hoped he kept focusing on his earlier thought, that he really _didn’t_ want to hurt anyone, over this.

He couldn’t help but worry. Willa had come home so unexpected, not even giving Nite a notice. He wondered if anything had happened in the circle, or if she was just done with whatever tasks she had had to do? Regardless, it seemed like she knew of some way to get rid of the mark on Nite’s forehead, but he wouldn’t hope for that. His lover would _never_ agree to get the spirit out, even if it was possible.

Time passed by slowly. He couldn’t remember when he last had been alone in the kitchen like this, and he didn’t _dare_ go find Nite to keep him company. Despite everything, Willa hadn’t seemed _mad_ that they sat and read together, but he didn’t want to push any questions she might have, before Nite was ready to tell her for himself. While Seymore hadn’t been sure the sorcerer would tell her right away, it didn’t seem like Nite intended to play _straight_ for that long.

Seymore had felt ready for this, ever since they became lovers, but now, all that confidence was gone. Not because he planned to back out, but because it all reminded him too much about when he had taken Ruvaen home with him. He wanted to believe that Willa’s concerns would be with her son’s dark powers, the _rumors_ surrounding the island, and whatever reasons she had had to _hide_ Nite for all these years, and not with her son being into men. Not with him having a _boyfriend_ , and not with that boyfriend being Seymore, but he couldn’t know, and now it seemed impossible to calm down as much as Nite had been earlier.

Willa was already in the dining area, when he set the table. He tried not to seem nervous or fidgety, and it didn’t seem like she really noticed his presence, so he simply didn’t engage in conversation. He wondered if she was worried about the half moon? And if so, was she worried _for_ Nite or about him? He didn’t expect to get much of an answer.

,,Tell me,’’ she suddenly said, not even looking at the jumping troll, ,,did he come _home_ like this?’’ she asked. Seymore hesitated for a moment, weighing his option. Would it hinder Nite more or less if Seymore was truthful?

,,… Yes,’’ he finally said. ,,But if anything, Ma’am, I haven’t seen him do anything he couldn’t do before.’’ While he undoubtedly had more magic energy now than before, he also seemed more in control in general. He knew the demon would grant him unspeakable powers if he ever got access to them, but as far as he knew, none of those powers where within his grasp.

,,… That’s bad…’’ she mumbled, clearly not for his ears.

Seymore were about to ask more into the situation, when the doors flung open and Nite came in, just as calm and collected as before, with the same glare in his eyes. He had changed clothes it seemed, as he wore a shirt in a deep, royal purple color, matching the half moon perfectly. Despite how much it blended into the shirt, he noticed the smooth stone he had given him, as a neck piece around the collar.

He sat down without further notice, as Seymore fumbled with getting the food ready. He tried not to act overly weird around Nite, but it was hard not to search for some sort of confirmation from him, that things would be alright. The sorcerer didn’t seem to focus on much else than his mother, that he curiously studied.

,,… You said you could rid me of this, huh?’’ Nite finally said, as his mother began to eat. She nodded dismissively, but he didn’t seem convinced. ,, _How?_ Dark marks are for _life_ ,’’ he scoffed.

,,Let’s talk about that later,’’ she said. ,,I’m much more _interested_ in knowing what _happened_ back at the circle? _Why_ were you being so _troublesome_ , when you’ve behaved _so well_ just before the trip?’’ she asked, almost with concern in her voice. But if anything, she could be concerned for her arrangements, and not why Nite had ‘acted out’.

,,I was depressed,’’ he said, _shrugged_ , as if the words held no weight at all. But Seymore felt every inch of him twist, and he couldn’t keep his gaze down, as Nite cleared his throat. ,,You took everything away from me. Why _wouldn’t_ I be depressed? I had no experience with the real world, what I’ve worked on for _months_ had been snatched away from me, and then…’’ He stopped for a moment, seemingly contemplating his words. ,,Then you took away the _only_ form for social interacting I’ve ever _had_. But _sure_ , I _behaved_ better. I wasn’t as _loud,_ I didn’t try to _defy_ you as much. Is _that_ what you meant?’’ he said, not without a sneer in his voice.

Willa looked over at the troll, who as always stood ready to serve them. He felt very tall and awkward at the middle of the table, but even more out of place now with the Madam’s confused, brown eyes at him. A brown, that never really had any warmth to it, unlike the fire Nite’s mahogany held.

,,… I didn’t tell Seymore to stop speaking to you…’’ she tried, but this seemed to set him off.

,, _So what?_ What did you _think_ would happen?’’ he yelled, standing up. ,,You _hated_ that I had _anyone_ I felt comfortable around! If not, _why_ wouldn’t you just tell me that you’ve found the book yourself? _Why_ rat him out?’’ he spat out. ,, _Surely_ , you had no _need_ to tell me that Seymore was the one to tell you about it!’’

,,I was afraid you were about to poison his mind, so he would let you out!’’ she yelled back, just as fiery as her son. ,,I tried to _save him!_ ’’ Seymore wanted to butt in, that he didn’t need saving, but Nite didn’t let him.

,,From _what?_ From feeling some other feeling, than dreadful loneliness? From someone who _actually_ wanted to learn about him? And _then_ you have _the audacity_ to ask _why_ I didn’t hit it off well with the others at the circle? How was I _supposed_ to do that, when the closest thing to a friend I had ever gotten, was _ruined_ because you couldn’t even _allow_ me to be _happy_ , even when you’ve trapped me, _isolated_ me for _years?_ ’’ he shouted, his voice so far from the calmness and spite it had oozed of earlier. Willa sighed, looking to the troll, startling him, as he thought she would involve him in their argument, but it was just the opposite.

,,Can you… let me speak with my son, for a moment, please? Alone?’’ she asked, trying to keep her voice contained, but Nite interrupted again.

,,Oh no. This is about him to,’’ he said, suddenly a lot softer, gaining both of their attention again. The anger that before had soared through his veins, seemed to have calmed as he looked over at the troll. ,,You have no _idea_ what you messed up for me that day,’’ he said, looking back at his mother. ,,And then, you just suddenly decided to _marry me off_. To _any_ girl who would have me, _as long_ as she was from that damned circle. _Why?_ You’ve _never_ mentioned _that_ would be a part of my _destiny_. You’ve never told me _anything_ ,’’ he said, surprisingly melancholic. The troll was sure that Willa wouldn’t notice, but Nite’s hands were trembling, and he could practically _feel_ the pain just by looking at his lover.

,,It’s by far the safest. You don’t want to _stay here_ , forever, do you?’’ she asked, her voice almost snarky. ,,You make _such a big deal_ out of it. _A lot_ of couples marry this way,’’ she said dismissively.

,,It’s old fashioned and _outdated_ ,’’ he said spitefully. ,,Did you ever wonder what _I_ wanted? Did you ever wonder if I… If…’’ he said, all of his spite and venom suddenly gone. His cheeks got heated, and he then helplessly looked back at the troll, as if he suddenly needed his help. But when Seymore nodded, about to tell her himself, Nite took in another deep breath, looking at his mother again. ,,Did it ever concern you if I even _wanted_ a wife?’’

,,What?’’ she asked confused. ,,… No, I… never wondered about that… You’ve never _opposed_ the idea of getting married, before we came to the circle,’’ she said slowly, apparently still not really catching on to his words, but Nite didn’t back down.

,,I don’t want a _wife_ ,’’ he said clearly.

,,Don’t be silly, it will be…’’ she began, but then suddenly stopped, looking a little closer at her son. ,,Oh…’’ she said, leaning back in her chair.

,, _Oh_ , indeed,’’ he scoffed. He still didn’t sit down. He kept staring at the woman at the other end of the table, but even if he held himself gracefully, Seymore could _see_ he was nervous.

,,… I mean, it’s unorthodox, but I’m _sure_ finding a _husband_ wouldn’t be a problem,’’ she tried, a lot gentler this time. She had never had the thought, it seemed. ,,This makes a lot of sense, why it made you so upset,’’ she tried, but Nite’s face got redder and redder with anger.

,,What makes me upset,’’ he said, trying his hardest not to shout again, ,,is that _you don’t listen_. I don’t want to marry into your circle. I don’t _need_ you to set me up with _anyone_ , I _have_ a partner!’’ he blurted out.

The room seemed to stand still for a moment. Willa didn’t say anything, but she didn’t seem disgusted or angry, as Seymore had feared her to be. She just seemed as confused, as she was with so many otherwise obvious things.

,,I, ahm… I can take it from here, Nite,’’ the troll smiled gently, gaining both of their attention again. ,,Just go relax. I’ll tell you about it later,’’ he smiled. It still didn’t seem like Willa even registered the implication, but she didn’t scold or interrupt, when Nite nodded and began walking towards the door.

,,… Thank you,’’ he said, sending a last, nervous gaze in the troll’s direction. He looked after the small man, as the heavy doors closed behind him, ringing through the otherwise quiet room. Then he turned around, took a deep breath and sat down, for the first time joining the Madam at her table.

,,… Unorthodox might not cover it…’’ he began, carelessly pouring himself a glass of water, as Willa kept quiet, her expression hard to read. ,,… I, ahm… I hope it’s _obvious_ why I chose not to write about the dark mark…’’ he tried. This seemed to bring her back to her senses, as she then really looked at the troll, undoubtedly judging the man in front of him.

,,I don’t… seem to understand…’’ she said slowly. ,,… Has he… _forced_ you, to this? Is this to get out of the circle?’’ she asked. There was no malice in her voice, which made Seymore a little more relaxed, but the words still somehow stung. She thought so _little_ of Nite, that it seemed more believable that Seymore was _hexed_ , than actually being in love with her son.

,,No, Ma’am. There’re no spells, no threats, no force,’’ he said, smiling casually, before looking outside the window, wondering if he would get to see this view again? Not that the view was particular great, but it now held fond memories for him. Even if Willa wasn’t angry at him _now_ , he did intend to get answers on a few questions of his own, as soon as he had answered whatever question the Madam might have herself.

,,… For how long?’’ she asked after a brief silence.

,,February. Just after he turned eighteen,’’ he said, still not looking at her. ,,But, ahm… that’s not when it started. We… uhm…’’ he said, feeling his heart race again. He felt _icky_. She had seen him as an adult, ever since he came to the castle, he knew that. He fumbled with his words, until he finally looked at her again, her expression most of all concerned now. ,,… It was me. You feared he had met someone, back then. He hadn’t. It was just me,’’ he croaked. Her expression didn’t change, but she didn’t scream and shout, either.

,,… Why didn’t you just tell me?’’ she finally asked.

,,… There’re _thousands_ of reasons why I didn’t want you to know. Thousands of reasons why I didn’t really want him to _feel_ this way, about me. Not because I didn’t feel the same, but because… The world is scary. _Feelings_ are scary. I… I got thrown out from my own home for loving a man, I didn’t want that for him too, but… I didn’t want to risk leaving him _here_ , all alone…’’ he said, feeling his chest twist slightly.

,,That… explains a lot, from back then,’’ she said quietly. ,,I always assumed that he was just… more _comfortable_ around you, because you… didn’t scold him as much as I. I feared he was messing with your head and would get you into troubles, that’s why-,’’ she said, but the troll interrupted.

,,He didn’t,’’ he assured her. ,,… It wasn’t my intention, to fall in love with him. I felt like I betrayed your trust, but… I also feel like… I can be good for him… I don’t want to cause trouble for him, at all, Willa,’’ he said.

,,That’s not my concern,’’ she said perplexed. This surprised him, but he just waited for her to continue, as she tiredly rubbed her temples. ,,Seymore, it was never a problem that you were into men. And under different circumstances, I could not imagine a more caring person for my son. Sure, I might… I’m not pretending that I really… understand… Well, relationships in general, I guess,’’ she mumbled tiredly. ,,Let me set it straight: It’s not a problem that my son is gay, or that you’re different species or _anything_ like that,’’ she sighed.

,,Then… What’s the problem?’’ he asked curiously. A slight nervousness crept up on him, but he tried to push it away.

,,… Nite is _dangerous_. You might know him in _some ways_ , but you don’t know the half of it,’’ she said carefully.

,,Then tell me about it. _Explain_ it to me. I’ve spent _months_ in his constant company and I… I’ve _never_ seen anything of that,’’ he said, which wasn’t completely truthful, but between her acceptance and her fear, he didn’t want to complicate things by explaining their relationship in _too_ much detail.

,,… I don’t think I can,’’ she said apologetic. ,,It’s just like I said, back then. If he’s nice to you, I fear it’s because he wants something from you. And while _obvious_ now, I didn’t even think that he was _capable_ of loving someone,’’ she said, more calmly this time.

,,… Then why marry him off?’’ he asked instead, avoiding the questions in his head. Even if he didn’t completely trusted Willa, anymore, she always made him question the honesty of Nite’s feelings, even if it all _felt_ very real with his beloved sorcerer.

,,Because it’s the safest option,’’ she said. ,,Or, _it was_ , before he got his hands on that book again. But it’s my fault. He’s _right_. By tearing you apart back then, might have been the thing that set him up to get _into_ that damned thing,’’ she said, mostly to herself, he assumed.

,,… Where does Nite come from?’’ Seymore asked calmly. Willa didn’t answer, she just sighed and looked away, but this time, the troll was determined to get _some_ kind of answer. ,,There’s so many things that doesn’t make sense. You weren’t pregnant for nine months. I’ve seen no sign of _anyone_ who could be his father. And you keep talking about him, as if he’s…’’ he tried, but couldn’t finish.

,,Magic?’’ she said, almost smiling. ,,… That’s because Nite _is_ magic. Nite is _made_ with a magic that went wrong. He’s an _experiment_ , that I wanted to get rid of, but… I couldn’t. He didn’t come out with demon horns, and while he always looked scrawny and sickly, he still _looked_ human. _Easily_ passable for my son, which he is,’’ she added, looking over at the troll again. ,,Nite is a _curse_ , created with the same kind of magic he lusts after.’’

He felt dizzy. He hadn’t really expected her to answer his questions, and he suddenly didn’t feel like he wanted them, anymore.

,,But _why_ would you… _do that?_ ’’ he asked slowly.

,,I didn’t,’’ she said, looking at him with stern eyes. ,,It was _never_ my intention that _any_ child should be born on this doomed island. If the circumstances of his birth weren’t _worse_ enough, being born _here_ definitely sealed whatever fate he might have had. But I couldn’t give birth on another island. I was bedridden most of my pregnancy, in no shape to travel. And _this_ were the only place where I could possibly _hide_ the baby, should it turn out to be… Well, as he did, actually. Maybe I _should_ have ridden this world from him, but… Imagine yourself with a baby in your arms. Even I, who didn’t want any offspring, couldn’t kill him off,’’ she said, so casually that it felt chilling. Seymore felt like vomiting, but tried to steady his shallow breath again.

,, _Please_ don’t talk about him like that,’’ he croaked, blinking away tears. Willa’s brown eyes fell on him again, and while her sympathy didn’t reach her son, it was clear that she didn’t want to harm Seymore himself like this. ,,… Is this why he is never hungry? Why he’s always cold?’’ he asked instead, trying to think of _anything else_ than the image flashing of a younger woman with a baby in her arms, contemplating whether or not _killing him_ would be kinder in the long run.

,,Most likely,’’ she shrugged, as had she hardly noticed that herself. ,,He _is_ fully human. He is… a _copy_ of my own being, but… something _clearly_ went wrong. And I can’t seem to figure out if that’s due to how he was conceived, or just the island itself,’’ she sighed. ,,There’s this _legend_ about Mokar…’’ she began.

,,Nite told me about it,’’ he said. ,,He read about an old legend, about something corrupting the island.’’

,,That’s true. And as far as I know, they were right. I’ve spent many moons figuring out what _is_ buried in the ground, but found no answers yet. I probably never will,’’ she shrugged. He still had millions of questions, but after her talking so _casually_ about her plans to off her son, he feared the answers.

,,Does Nite have a father?’’ he finally asked.

,,Yes, in a sense, he does,’’ she said with no hesitations, as if she didn’t have any fight left to hide all her secrets about Nite’s life. ,,… Nite and I share the same mark. The half moon, _the Demon of Desire_ , as he is called,’’ she said, slowly pulling down her sleeve. On her wrist, right above her right hand, were the same kind of mark that Nite had. He had never seen that before. ,,I tried to bring him back to life. Not as my son, but as a man. But something went wrong, and he tricked me,’’ she said, her eyes hard again.

,, _Why_ would you play with powers like these? Don’t _anyone_ understand…’’ Seymore croaked, but Willa’s stern gaze shut him up.

,,I wanted to flee that _damned_ circle,’’ she said, her voice suddenly shrill and quivering. ,,I didn’t want to curse _a child_ with the responsibility of the circle, but… I couldn’t work my way out of it without. I was _young_ , Seymore, _all alone_ , as you’ve probably experienced before… And I had _no one_. The first people I ever trusted as sisters _lured_ me into forming a circle. I didn’t even know what it was. We don’t have such things, from my homeland,’’ she said, closing her eyes.

,,I, ahm… I’m sorry…’’ he said. The words felt flat, but he did somehow understand her desperation. Not to the extent where he could ever imagine killing of _anyone_ , let alone _his own flesh and blood_ , but desperate enough to do stupid things, continuing to do more stupid things to fix it.

,,I’m sorry too, Seymore. I… would have never _guessed_ that…’’ she tried, but shook her head. ,,Are you _happy?_ ’’ she asked instead. She looked at him again, and for once, her smile reached her eyes.

,,Yes,’’ he said, smiling back at her. ,,I am. I’m… I’m sorry if it complicates your… _plans_ , with the circle. For a long time, I thought that Nite _might_ be happier with someone else than me, someone who understood him better, but…’’ he said, feeling small and silly again.

,,No, no, don’t be sorry. Regardless of… the way I am, around my son, or how I feel about him, I don’t _mind_ if he’s _happy_ , being with you. I… I’m concerned for you, most of all. Marrying him within the circle, was to keep him safe from _himself_ ,’’ she said, the worry present in her voice again. ,,You’ve stayed here, for a long time. And I would really hate to… _ruin_ your life, by leaving you with my responsibilities, like this. That’s why I didn’t want you to take care of him in the first place. I _knew_ how unruly his magic was, and I know how hard magic is for you to be around,’’ she said, a tired sigh leaving her.

He had often wondered why Nite wasn’t a part of his tasks, but always appreciated that he wasn’t. He had known, even before Nite scarred his face, that the sorcerer’s magic was powerful and greatly dependent on his emotional state, that always seemed to be overwhelmed. He didn’t remember much from that time, but then he recalled something Willa once had said, that caught his interest again.

,,You told me you wiped our memories in the past? Or… mine, at least,’’ he said. She nodded and looked just as apologetic as she had done back then.

,,… It… was an accident… I couldn’t let you know… I don’t know if you actually _knew_ of it, but…’’ she said, her hands shaky. ,,There were a maid, who had a child before she came to the castle. She didn’t live at the castle, but got here every once in a while, when she could. Because Nite was so unruly as a toddler, she suggested letting them play together, so he could get to socialize. But it… I couldn’t _know_ , Seymore…’’ she said, visible upset.

He recalled nothing like that. No matter how hard he tried to, he couldn’t remember a single maid that had kids or didn’t live at the castle fulltime, and he could remember most of the maids and servants that had been at the castle during his time there. Her words were chilling. And if it was anything like she implied it to be, he somehow understood why she so _adamantly_ had asked for Seymore to leave, after he got his scars.

,,… What happened?’’ he croaked. Willa’s eyes were glossy when she looked up at him again, and his heart dropped slightly.

,,… Her arm… She lost her arm. That little girl… I… I _think_ it was an accident, but… I’m not sure, I can’t be sure,’’ she whispered breathily. ,,Her mother didn’t get to see it. I just… wiped her memory, of ever coming to the castle in the first place. Wiped her memories of her daughter ever _having_ an arm in the first place. Then I dumped them on a far-away island, with gold enough to provide for them for a lifetime. It was wrong, it was _terrible_ , but I needed to erase _every trace_ of that incident…’’ she said.

,,How old was he?’’ he muttered. His head span again. It was an accident, _it had to be an accident_. What child _could_ control such powers, anyway?

,,Not even two,’’ she said. ,,He doesn’t remember. He remembers no one else than you, from before we went to the circle,’’ she said quietly. ,,… I know it wasn’t his fault,’’ she then said. ,,I _know_ it’s not his fault, that he is… like he is. A better mother could have _helped_ him, a better _person_ could have _avoided all that_ , but… After that, I couldn’t look at him the same. It was hard for me to do so to begin with, but… It became impossible. It’s easier to pretend that he is what he is; an experiment, that went out of control. _A mistake_ ,’’ she said, looking down at her own hands.

,,… I see a young man, in _desperate_ need for someone to _talk to_. A broken man, a lost child. I see Nite as the _person_ he _could_ be, if he wasn’t so broken down by hatred and isolation,’’ Seymore said, his voice a lot louder than expected. ,,I don’t see him clearly, I know that. But neither do you. You’ve treated him unfairly from the very start, and then ask questions about how he can be so _wicked_. I _know_ he is wicked. But he doesn’t _have_ to be,’’ he said, almost desperately. He assumed she would scold him for his tone, but she didn’t. She just looked at him, with her sad, brown eyes.

,,You cannot change who he is, Seymore. I don’t think it will harm him any that you’re with him. I do believe that that… _could_ speak to him, maybe. But… when time comes, and he chooses to do something, _anything_ … You cannot stop him. Whether he will use his powers for good or evil, the world can only quiver about. But no matter how desperately you want to help him, _to choose good_ , you can’t. Only _he_ can change that,’’ she said, her voice firm, despite her wet eyes.

,,Why do you tell me all this?’’ he said frantic, a little too fast. ,,You’ve _never_ wanted to answer anything _clearly_ , why would you-,’’ he said, but stopped when she stood up. The food was merely untouched, but no one seemed to be in the mood for eating tonight.

,,Because I want you to have a _choice_. I always gave you the choice to stay or go as you pleased. And while I can’t know if he is _as willing_ to give you the same choice, I am. But you need to make an _informed_ choice,’’ she said, walking behind him. ,,A life with Nite can probably be just as your lives has been this far, while I have been gone. But most likely, you’ll have to face the reality that Nite is lusting after power, even if he barely knows that himself. That’s how he is _born_ , simply. And while you might be very caring towards him… I would assume that’s not a life you’ll want,’’ she said calmly.

She gave him an opportunity to _escape_ , he thought, as he tried to make sense of it all. How was he to _handle_ that Nite had scarred someone like that, beyond repair, whether it was intentional or not? He had never done anything as extreme like that _since_ , but _how mad_ did he have to get, to go to those same extremes?

He wanted to believe Willa was lying. That it was all an elaborate story she had brewed together, but why would she expect to explain that to Seymore? He _knew_ deep down, that despite how much he wanted to believe Nite was just quirky and moody, he wasn’t _just_ that. Being with Nite _could_ be dangerous. But being without Nite would be _tortures_. Besides, if there were _any_ chance that he could hinder Nite his goals or an assumed bloodlust, would that be worth it, to be selfish and stay with him?

Then he remembered how Nite _explicitly_ had wanted not to harm his mother. A woman, he knew had hurt him so much. If anyone in this world had to pay for all his pain, he would have assumed that his mother or the troll himself were on the top of his list. But Nite had forgiven Seymore, and clung to him, trying to make up for the chaos that unfolded within him.

,,… I love Nite,’’ he said quietly. ,,I love him _so much_ , that I wanted to have this conversation myself. To figure out _just what_ to do to help him. I _won’t_ accept that he’s a doomed cause. I _don’t_ believe that to be the case,’’ he said, much more confidently than he felt.

,,You faith in him is greater than mine,’’ she mumbled, still somewhere behind him. ,,… I’m sorry it had to take this long, before I even noticed. I’m sorry you felt you had to hide this from me, because I… I might not have understood it, back then,’’ she said slowly. ,,When I came home from my trip, just after he turned 16… I didn’t understand why or _how_ you were able to get so friendly with him. And I… I _do_ remember him being _happy_ , for the first time ever, really. I really _thought_ he was in love, because he was all flustered and had that dreaming gaze all the time, but… I just… I never even _thought_ about… _you_ , being the one… And I’m sorry, that I never realized that…’’ she said, walking up beside the chair Seymore sat on.

He wanted to tell her that it was okay. That it was all right _now_. But at the same time, he wanted to scream and shout, and tell her how _horrible_ she had been to her son, how much _damage_ she had done. That whatever happened to Nite from here, would be _her fault_ as much as his, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t say a thing.

,,Was it very obvious, that he is gay?’’ she suddenly asked. ,,I hadn’t proposed the idea of a wife, had I known. I know the West is not always kind towards such things, but I didn’t grow up here, and I never really saw it as a problem. I would have suggested a husband instead,’’ she said slowly.

,,Nite is not gay,’’ he muttered without looking at the Madam. ,,And neither am I. But no, I don’t think it was very obvious, but I didn’t know him that well before… we became friends, so who am I to say?’’ he said slowly.

She didn’t comment on that. He didn’t feel like explaining further. He guessed Nite had explained his age to his mother, since that hadn’t come up at all. Or maybe she simply didn’t care? Maybe she couldn’t believe that Seymore could do _anything_ if Nite wasn’t into it, as he would just explode. In some sense, she was probably right to assume that, but Seymore knew Nite better than that, and the sorcerer had never used magic to protect himself, had things gone heated too quickly.

,,I have one last question,’’ the troll then said. ,,… What happened to Ava? The seer that found me? _How_ did she even find me?’’ he asked quietly.

,,That’s more than one question,’’ she said, almost smiling. If the situation hadn’t been so grave, he would probably have chuckled. ,,Ava found you, because she often times wandered off at night. She came just as suddenly to the place, as she left. Showing up one night, acting like she had worked here for years. I never questioned that,’’ she said quietly. ,,When she visited my chamber on her last night, I couldn’t understand her. She just made these weird, growling sounds. I got her to a clinic on a nearby island, but I never saw her again. When I tried to contact her, she was already gone,’’ she said.

He remembered that Mellis had mentioned something similar, that Ava had _growled_. But it hadn’t sounded like growling to _him_. Had he just not noticed? Nite had a thick accent when speaking troll, and he could hardly imagine Ava to have no accent at all.

,,She told me that, that night. That I could _choose goodness_ ,’’ he said, feeling his throat tighten. ,,She talked about a baby, and that I would stay at the castle, and… Maybe I _did_ stay, because she said that? Maybe it was just easier to stay…’’ he mumbled. He sometimes wondered if it all felt easier for him to stay, because she had foreseen it? Otherwise, he had to admit to himself, that he was too broken to go out into the real world again.

,,Perhaps,’’ she said, walking towards her seat again. She didn’t sit down, but took a sip of her glass, looking out the window again. ,,I think she maybe did _see_ something, that night. My best guess is that she saw pieces of a future, maybe this, maybe another. Clearly a future where you took care of Nite,’’ she said, her gaze hazy and blank. ,,I think she spoke to both of you. There’s no reason she would assume you were evil. It’s a warning for _him._ ’’

Seymore looked out of the window as well. He felt small, when he saw his reflection. He felt tired, when words echoed through his mind. Concepts he didn’t understand, didn’t _want_ to understand…

,,Nite’s eyes changes color,’’ he then said, looking at the Madam’s reflection, but her eyes didn’t meet his.

,,Yerh. They do that, from time to time,’’ she said, as was it normal behavior.

,,Do I need to be wary of that? They were red as blood when he first got his mark, but then they… changed back,’’ he said slowly. ,,They changed back when I… used his birthname…’’ he told. ,,But they turned red every once in a while, even before he got his mark.’’

,,It seems to be triggered by his emotions, just like his magic tends to be. I’ve never quite figured out if it holds any meaning. It doesn’t seem like it amplifies his powers, but it seems like he’s in this weird headspace, just for a moment,’’ she said. She then looked at him again, smiling gently. It was a weird sight, and he barely dared to meet her gaze. ,,You call him Willow?’’ she asked. He nodded slightly, looking down again.

,,Not that often. He asked me to do so,’’ he said quietly. This seemed to genuinely make her happy.

,,… Despite what I might fear or how I view him… You really must do something _right_ , when he allows you to do so. He’s come a long way, hasn’t he?’’ she said gently. ,,… You’ll take good care of him, right?’’ She asked, like she was on her way to leave again, even if she had just arrived home. Seymore nodded regardless, weighing his words.

,,I will. I, ahm… Are we… to leave the castle?’’ he asked carefully.

,,… I can’t keep him here, if he decides to leave, can I?’’ she pondered. ,,But no, I’m not throwing you out, if that’s your concern. If anything, I’ll just travel a bit more. If he has grown into his own person, with his own goals, then, what stops me from travelling? I think we’re all better off like that,’’ she shrugged. ,,Mind you, I’m not _giving_ him my castle. But I have no need for being here all the time. The last few years has been far more pleasant, when we haven’t lived so close together,’’ she admitted.

,,But shouldn’t you _help_ him?’’ he croaked. ,,Shouldn’t you guide him on this… mark? I… I can’t help him with _that_ , I’ve _tried_ , believe me,’’ he said, a slight desperation in his voice. ,,What am I going to tell him?’’ he whispered, feeling small and helpless again.

,,I can’t help him,’’ she said carefully. ,,He doesn’t have access to his powers, for now at least. So… _potentially_ , I _could_ try to pry it out, but… it won’t matter. He’ll want it back, and it will be harder on his body than last time,’’ she sighed.

,,That… makes sense…’’ he sighed, feeling utterly lost. It seemed like Willa had heard his thoughts loud and clear, when she continued:

,,… You can tell him anything you like about this. I’ll be gone in the morning again. I planned on taking him with me to the circle, but I’ll let the plans fall through,’’ she said.

,,… But I… don’t want to tell him anything…’’ he said, a slight defeat in his voice. ,,Willa, this is… _insane_ … You didn’t see him when…’’ he said, regretting his train of thoughts in an instant. Willa didn’t know Nite had read his letter back then, when she had written about the sorcerer’s existence being hidden. It seemed like she had registered that something was up, and Seymore saw no reason to hide it, anymore. ,,… Nite opened my letter by mistake, when you wrote to me about his essence being hidden,’’ he said slowly. She didn’t react much more than a raised brow, before he continued. ,,He was _devastated_. I can’t imagine him taking this any better, _any_ of this,’’ he said somberly.

,,… He could really have gotten me into trouble, had he left the castle. And he knew that,’’ she said, not commenting on anything else. ,,… Interesting,’’ she said, smiling again before she walked away from the table. She made a gesture with her hand, and the food vanished, as if the table hadn’t even been set yet. ,,I think that whatever you decide to tell him, Seymore, will be the right choice. You seem to calm him in a way, that I could have never foreseen. It’s a burden, but I don’t think Nite has to choose _goodness_ per se, if he just chooses _you_ ,’’ she said, about to walk away.

,,Ahm…’’ he said, finally standing up himself. He felt dizzy, and millions of questions still rang through his head. Willa stopped, but didn’t look back at him. ,,… Thank you, Ma’am. I’ll take care of him,’’ he said instead.

She looked back at him, her brown eyes seemingly weighing the man in front of him. A slight trace of a more carefree woman, that he had met so many years ago, twinkled for just a second, before she turned around again.

,,No, it’s me who should thank you, silly, little troll. For your help, for your loyalty… I can’t make up for mistakes I’ve made. I wish I had known about your pain and loneliness before, I wish I had _understood_ that you were merely a child when you came on my doorstep… And I don’t really want forgiveness. I just hope you’ll choose to be _happy_ now, that you can _allow_ yourself that, that you _dare_ to be…’’ she said, her voice echoing against the high ceiling. ,,The world will never treat him fairly, Seymore. No matter what path he chooses, he is simply too scarred by my mistakes. But that doesn’t mean he has to be _wicked_. If being… two men in love won’t haunt you, the world will for other reasons.’’

,,I know,’’ he said. ,,And I want to be there, for him, when it does.’’

,,Then _please_ , take good care of him,’’ she said, the heavy doors loudly closing behind her as she left.

As soon as Willa went out of the dining room, he went to Nite’s quarters himself. He wanted to pass out at the table, he needed to rest his tired head, but more than anything, he needed to make sure that Nite was okay. His body moved all on its own, just like when Nite had been overloaded and Willa had taken away the troll’s earrings.

For how long had they been talking? He couldn’t tell. It felt like a lifetime of burdens had been dumped in front of him. He still had so many questions, he frankly just couldn’t ask Willa in the moment, and now he didn’t expect to get another chance.

Like _why_ she wanted to bring back a demon? What were their connection? Or why she hadn’t just gotten rid of Nite _after_ he had disfigured that little girl? Had she ever wondered what happened to the girl, after she had left them with wiped out memories?

The hallways suddenly seemed looming, but his body didn’t give him a break, as he went straight to the sorcerer’s bedchamber. He still hadn’t figured out what to tell him. _Why_ would he burden his loved one with all of this? Sure, he had some _right_ to know, but it wouldn’t help his situation. It wouldn’t help him feel more _real_ or less out of place.

Seymore stumbled in, looking at the fidgety man on the bed. _Their_ bed. Besides his shaky hands, he seemed rather calm. The bags were packed, and he seemed more than ready to leave. They could do that, he reminded himself, when he closed the doors behind him, but just like Nite had said, his best chance to find a solution to his powers would be to study _here_ , where there were books enough for a lifetime.

,,Are you-,’’ the sorcerer began, as the troll walked into the room, picked up his small lover and hugged him so tightly, that if it didn’t hurt with the demon, it definitely would anyway. ,,Hey, everything-,’’ he tried again, but the troll didn’t let him.

If he thought too much about it, he feared he would back out and run away. It was all too much to take in at once, but when he looked at Nite, touched him, _kissed him_ , he felt like a real person. He felt like his lover, his _friend_ , and not some wicked experiment, doomed from the very start.

,,It’s alright,’’ the troll muttered against the sorcerer’s lips. He needed his lips, needed to _feel_ him against his skin, to know that he was _somewhat_ right, that despite what Willa told him, Nite was real. He was alive, progressing, and not as abstract as magic itself. Nite was a _human_ , his mind begged, as he kept kissing the thin lips, he thought he knew so well. ,,It’s alright. I love you,’’ he muttered again.

,,Seymore, what’s going _on?_ ’’ he demanded, but didn’t pull away when the troll kissed him again. ,,Are we going to leave? Talk to me, _please_ ,’’ he begged, but he hardly knew where to begin.

,,No, no, we can stay,’’ he mumbled, desperately clinging to the small man. The eyes were the same he fell in love with. His touch felt familiar, _cold_ , but familiar. He could feel his heartbeat against his own chest. ,,It’s okay, Nite, it’s all okay. She doesn’t mind. Don’t worry about the circle, don’t worry about her, we can stay at the castle, while your mother travels. It’s all alright,’’ he tried again.

,,Then why are you _shaking?_ ’’ he asked, concern in his eyes. ,,What’s wrong? What did she _say?_ ’’ he begged.

He didn’t know what to say. _Your father is a demon_ , didn’t sound right. _Your mother talked casually about killing you off_ , sounded even worse… _You almost killed a little girl_ …

,,Listen to me,’’ he said instead, placing Nite on the bed again as he kneeled in front of him. ,,You’re a _real_ person, Nite. No matter how you feel, no matter how _lost_ you feel, you’re _real_. _I love you_. That’s _real._ And we have our whole life to figure everything else out,’’ he said, his voice shaking slightly.

He knew that Nite understood that something was wrong. But despite the concern in his eyes, he still smiled, kissing the troll again.

,,I love you too,’’ he said gently. He seemed so _calm_ , despite how shaky Seymore felt. ,,… Thank you for talking with her. I… don’t know what happened, I can _see_ that you’re shaking, but… I’m very happy that you’re here, Seymore.’’

He couldn’t express how _happy_ he was for taking the conversation with Willa himself. Just imagining Nite, when his mother revealed his birth, were an almost devastating thought. He would much rather live with that himself, if he could spare his lover from that burden.

,,Of course,’’ he smiled, gently crawling into the bed, pulling the sorcerer further with him into the warm blankets. Nite seemed just as tired as he himself felt, but he still cuddled against the troll’s warm body, feeling small in the older man’s arms. ,,… We can still go, if you want to. But your mother said she wouldn’t mind us to stay here, while she’s out, traveling the world. And… for once, I think it would be the smartest choice to stay. But I’m ready to go, if you are,’’ he said.

Nite didn’t answer at first. He assumed he pondered why Seymore acted so strange. Maybe it calmed him to listen to the troll’s still rapid heartbeat?

,,… Well, we… _could_ go… I don’t need the books, anymore,’’ he said slowly. The troll looked down at him, but the sorcerer’s gaze didn’t meet his eyes.

,,Why not?’’ Seymore asked, suddenly alerted yet again.

,,It’s nothing bad, I promise. Actually, I…’’ he said, hesitating for a while. ,,Do you remember the book I bought?’’ he asked, sitting up and roaming through his big bag, finding the book they had bought in South.

,,Yerh, I remember,’’ he said, still laying down and observing as the sorcerer looked through the book.

,,Well, the stone you bought me wasn’t actually _all_ hocus pocus,’’ he said, a twinkle in his excited eyes. ,,It can’t _rid_ me of the demon, of course, but now… I’m as closed off as I can be,’’ he said, actually smiling by the statement. He showed off the stone around his neck, making it twinkle in the dim light.

,,Really?’’ he asked. Nite laid down again, nodding and cuddling up against the troll. ,,… I… thought you wanted to access your powers…’’ he said slowly. Nite shrugged, as if all of his former dreams of power were unimportant now. The strange turn in events made Seymore dizzy again, and he couldn’t help but to think this would bite him later, if he got comfortable around Nite while he seemingly had cast aside his yearning for the demon’s power. _His father’s power_ , he mindlessly thought, but he _scolded_ himself for ever thinking that.

,,I still can, at some point. It’ll only work while I wear it, and I… I just need you, for a while. I assumed we were going to run away after this, and I couldn’t let anything like _that_ distract me, so… This is for the best,’’ he smiled. That this man would have unspeakable, destructive powers, were absurd to him, when he laid so gently in the troll’s strong arms, casting aside his own desires for their life together. ,,But… I’ll probably want that again, at some point. I can’t promise… that I’ll _never_ want that…’’ he hesitated.

,,I know,’’ he said, kissing the mark on his forehead. ,,And that’s alright. It’s… part of you,’’ he whispered gently. _More than you know_ , a voice shouted inside of him, but he ignored it.

They laid quietly like this for a time. He couldn’t know what Nite thought about. He was scared to ask, because what was he to answer if he asked about the conversation with Willa? But regardless of every doubt Seymore might have had, Nite wasn’t a ruthless killer, waiting to destroy the world, he told himself.

,,So… what do you want to do?’’ Nite finally asked. A question he wasn’t prepared for. When he looked down, the mahogany eyes were tired, but gentle and warm, and he wanted nothing more than to look at them forever, just as in the past.

,,… I want to have dinner,’’ he chuckled, but kept lying in bed. ,,What do you wanna do?’’ he said gently.

,,I want to eat with you, and then read all night. I want to talk about how _much sense_ that book about stones made, maybe try to explain _what_ I did, if you’re up for that? And then I just want to cuddle up together, as we did, before we so _rudely_ were interrupted,’’ he chuckled. His laughter was contagious, and Seymore felt light and happy again by the sound. It really _felt_ like Nite was real, when he so insistently pulled him close to his body, or when he kissed his chest so carefully.

,,I think that sounds amazing,’’ he smiled, but didn’t indicate to move at all. ,,I don’t think your mother will walk in again without _knocking_ first,’’ he chuckled, making the sorcerer blush.

,,By _Am_ , I barely thought about that,’’ he said, hiding his face against the troll’s chest. ,,Did she, ahm… Did she… say anything… _special_ , about…?’’ he tried, but couldn’t get himself to look at the troll again.

,,Well, she asked if it was very obvious that you were gay. I corrected her on that, don’t worry, but otherwise… I think she took it rather well,’’ he smiled, not untruthfully. ,,I guess… I really did just worry, because my own parents had been so nasty about it, in the past. I’m sorry that I worry about nothing,’’ he apologized.

,,That’s alright. You’re looking after me. That… actually feels pretty nice, even if you worry too much,’’ he said gently.

,,… She had a lot of concerns. Mostly about if you had _hexed_ me. But she actually didn’t seem to be against… _me_ , dating her son,’’ he said. The words felt awkward in his mouth. ,,She really do want you to be safe. So… I promised her that I would keep you safe,’’ he smiled.

,, _Liar_ ,’’ he chuckled, not unkindly. ,,It’s okay. I don’t really care what she thinks. I was… concerned, because you were so shaken up. But, as long as you’re here… It’ll be fine… Right?’’ he smiled, standing up and stretching his hand, waiting for Seymore to take it.

,,… It will,’’ he smiled, taking his lovers hand and kissing the long, cold fingers. And despite understanding a little better why they were cold, or why Nite seemingly never felt hunger, it felt as comforting and true as ever, when he held the sorcerer’s hand in his, letting him guide him outside their bedroom.

Into their future. Hopefully, a place where they _both_ could choose for the better.


End file.
